Original subtitles

[music]

[exhales]

Hi.

I'm S-, Sam and I'm…

I'm so honoured that Bill chose me…

me to be the…

the best band, best man…

for this…

special day.

Hey, um, so the wedding is in an hour in the backyard.

Awesome.

Um, and how's the speech going?

Uh…

it's great.

See? Alright, see you in a little bit.

[exhales]

Oh, fuck, I got to get rid of these nerves.

There's only one for sure way to do it that I know of though.

[deep breathing]

[music stops]

[exhales deeply]

-Hey, I forgot to tell you… -[theme music plays]

♪ Someone comes in without knocking ♪

♪ not prepared for what's coming ♪

♪ Caught Fapping ♪

[music ends]

What are you doing?

[laughs]

Uh…

I'm nervous and, um…

so, um, it's the only way for me to…

Stroking your penis?

Well, I got, I got this speech and…

I want it to be good and…

if I'm nervous, I, I can't do it.

This is the only way I know how to, you know…

-relax. -[laughs]

Um, I'm not judging.

But we've definitely hooked up a few times before.

It's not like I haven't seen your dick before.

I, I guess.

I mean, I took care of the florist…

the caterer…

Pretty much I have fixed this whole wedding.

So I can definitely fix this for you.

Fix it?

Well, I mean…

I don't want you to ruin my special day.

So…

we've hooked up before and I'll take care of it for you.

And plus, I'm not technically married.

Not yet, at least.

I, I mean, true.

And it's for, it's for Phil, right?

It's for Phil.

So it's fine, right?

[Ashlyn] It all works out the way it's supposed to.

[Ashlyn] And then you can do your speech.

[slurping]

[deep breathing]

[moaning, deep breathing]

[slurping]

[exhales deeply]

-Oh, I forgot how good you were at that. -Oh, you forgot? Okay.

[Sam] It's been a while.

[moans]

And we want to get through your speech just fine.

[Sam] Oh, fuck.

[slurping]

[moans]

[deep breathing]

-[chuckles] -I agree.

You forgot these too?

-Damn. -[laughs]

You're gonna be off the market after today?

-Mm-hm. -That's bullshit.

[deep breathing]

You went straight for those.

[hisses]

[moaning, deep breathing]

[hisses]

Look, these pants have got to go.

-I'm gonna close the door. -We don't wanna ruin it.

[door shuts]

[Ashlyn] Okay.

[hums]

So you're not as nervous now, see?

Yeah, but I mean…

I'm gonna get nervous again

-if I don't get this nut out. -You're gonna get nervous again

-then I'm gonna have to help you again? -I gotta, I gotta get this nut out first.

It's the only way.

You've always been like this, do you know that?

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

Oh, you forgot you were always like this?

-No, I forgot you knew about that. -[laughs]

Well, I'll help you.

As much as I can.

[deep breathing]

Oh, fuck.

[moaning]

Oh, fuck.

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Sam] Oh, shit.

[Ashlyn] Mm-hm.

-[Ashlyn] You didn't forget that, did you? -[Sam] Oh, yeah.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

[Sam] Oh, fuck.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[hisses]

[Sam] Fuck.

-Oh, fuck! -Oh, I love it.

[Sam] It's still the best titty-fuck I've ever had.

Yeah?

[moaning, deep breathing]

It's gonna help you relax.

-Oh, yeah. -[Sam] Oh, shit!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Sam] Fuck yeah.

[Sam] Oh, shit!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Yeah, work on that.

-[Sam] It's getting hot in here, is it? -Mm-hm.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[slurping]

This has gotta go too. Come on.

-Oh, we wouldn't want to ruin it, right? -No, you don't want to ruin it.

It's really too tight for you.

[laughs]

[deep breathing]

Fuck.

[moans]

Fuck!

Oh, the same time?

Of course.

-Oh, yeah. -[Ashlyn hisses]

[Ashlyn] Mm-hm.

-Do you know you have the best nipples? -[chuckles]

[Ashlyn] Even the shirt.

Here you go.

[moaning, deep breathing]

I haven't told you yet, but you actually do look really good in the wedding dress.

Thank you.

You are thoughtful after all.

-You look even better out of it, but… -Yeah?

Do you wanna help?

Oh, thank God.

Again, not married…

yet.

[hisses]

[moaning, deep breathing]

Mm, like that.

Oh, fuck!

[moans deeply]

-[chuckling] -Yeah.

-[Sam] Hey there. -Mm, of course.

-We've gotta get this out of the way. -Mm-hm.

Oh, you're ready, right?

-Yeah, for right now. -It's alright.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, right there. Yeah.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

Oh, right there. Right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck, right there. It's so good.

[moaning]

Fuck!

[moans]

Oh, fuck yes, yes.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, yes, like that.

[moaning, sharp breathing]

[hisses]

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, right there, right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Yeah, like that. Like that.

[moaning, sharp breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

Yeah, like that, more. Yeah!

Oh, fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

Yes, right there. Keep going, keep going.

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, you're gonna make me cum on your fingers.

Oh, my god!

[deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn gasps]

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, right there, right there, right there.

Oh, you're gonna make me cum. Right there, right there.

[moaning and gasping]

Mm, fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

Fuck!

[gasping]

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, yeah.

Get this stuff all over your face.

[deep breathing]

[moans]

Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, my…

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, that's so good.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[moaning, kissing]

Oh, yes, fuck me. Right there.

[deep breathing]

Fuck!

Oh, yes, like that. Fuck yeah!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Right there. Fuck!

Right there, don't stop.

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, fuck me like that.

[Ashlyn chuckles]

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Right there. Yeah, stroke it, right there.

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, make those titties bounce, right there. Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

[Sam] Yeah.

[Sam] Oh, fuck.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[hisses]

-Mm, yeah, spit on it. -[Sam] Oh, fuck.

Oh, yes, right there.

Oh, my god!

[hisses]

[deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck! Oh, that's what I want. Yes, that's what I want.

Oh, yes, like that, like that.

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Mm-hm. Just like that, just like that.

Oh, fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

Fuck!

Fuck, right there! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

[moaning, deep breathing]

God, stretch it out for me.

[deep breathing]

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Right there, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

[hisses]

[moaning, deep breathing]

-[Sam] Right here? -Mm-hm.

-[Sam] Yeah? -Lay down right there.

[exhales]

Oh, fuck!

It is so thick.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[slurping]

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Ashlyn] Oh, my god!

[Ashlyn moans]

[hissing]

-[Sam] Oh, god! -[chuckles]

[moans, hisses]

-Fuck! -[Sam] Yeah.

Fuck!

Oh, right there, yes.

[hisses]

Fuck yeah!

[moaning]

Oh, my god!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Yeah, slap it again.

[Ashlyn] Yeah!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning]

Fuck yeah!

Oh, right there. Fuck!

[moans deeply]

Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Yes, like that, like that, like that.

[Ashlyn] Fuck yes! Fuck me right there.

[Ashlyn] Yes, baby.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck yes! Right there.

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, my god!

Fuck!

Oh, my god!

Oh, yes.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[slurping]

[Sam] Oh, fuck.

[Sam breathing deeply]

[hisses]

[Ashlyn] Oh, look.

[Ashlyn] Oh, fuck!

[moans]

-[slurping] -[Sam] Oh, fuck yeah.

[Sam] Oh, shit. Yes, give me your ass.

-[giggles] -Oh, fuck yes.

[Ashlyn] Do you want me to sit on your face? Oh.

[chuckles]

-[deep breathing] -[Sam] Oh, fuck.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[slurping]

[deep breathing]

[moans deeply]

[slurping]

[deep breathing]

Fuck!

Oh, just like that, right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Sam] Oh, yeah?

[Ashlyn chuckling]

[Sam] Get up here in reverse.

-[Sam] In reverse. -[Ashlyn] Where are you going?

[Ashlyn laughs]

[Ashlyn] Mm, fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

-[Ashlyn] Oh, that's so deep right there. -[Sam] Oh, yeah.

[Ashlyn] Yes.

[Ashlyn moaning, hisses]

[Sam] Fuck.

[hisses]

-Fuck! -[Sam] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Oh, fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes!

[Ashlyn] Oh, fuck!

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck yes, right there!

Oh, fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Yes, right there.

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, yeah, yes, right there!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn moans deeply]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

-There you go. -[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[chuckles]

[moaning, deep breathing]

-[exhales, hisses] -[Sam] Oh, fuck.

-Fuck! -[Sam] Put it back in that throat.

[chuckles]

Oh, fuck!

-Oh, it's time for me to fuck you. -Mm-hm.

-Oh, fuck! -[chuckles]

[Ashlyn] I almost fully relaxed.

Oh, bend over.

[Sam] There you go.

[Sam] There you go.

[deep breathing]

[Sam] Oh, fuck!

[hisses]

Fuck!

Oh, fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Sam] Fuck yeah.

Oh, right there, right there.

[Sam breathing deeply]

[moans deeply]

[Sam hisses]

Fuck!

Oh, right there. Fuck!

Oh, fuck yes! Right there.

[laughs]

Oh, right there, right there.

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Oh, right there. Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Ashlyn] Oh, right there. Fuck!

-[Sam] Oh, yeah! -[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, right there,

-[Ashlyn] right there, right there! -[Sam] Fuck!

[moans deeply]

Right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

Oh, yes, like that, like that!

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

-Fuck! -[Sam] Oh, god, yeah!

-[Sam] Oh, fuck yes, twerk on it. -Mm-hm.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck. Oh, slap it again.

Fuck!

Fuck!

[moans]

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, right there, right there, right there!

[moaning and gasping]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Right there, right there, right there, right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

-Fuck! -[Sam] Fuck.

Right there. Fuck yes!

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, right there, you're gonna make me cum. Keep fucking me.

[moans deeply]

Fuck, baby, I'm cumming, I'm cumming!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Sam] Fuck.

[Sam] Yeah, lay just like that.

[Sam] Oh, fuck!

Oh, my gosh!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Right there.

[Ashlyn] Fuck, right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[moaning, kissing]

[Ashlyn] Right there. Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, right there.

Oh, my god, right there!

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, fuck!

Yeah, right there.

-Mm-hm. Oh, my god! -Oh, my god.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, right there. Rub it right there.

[moaning and gasping]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, make the titties bounce.

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Ashlyn] Oh, right there. Mm-hm.

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[Ashlyn] Oh, fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Sam] So you're telling me after this we can't do this again?

[Ashlyn] No, we can't.

[Ashlyn laughs]

-[Sam] Oh, maybe I'll put a ring on it. -[Ashlyn] Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Ashlyn chuckles]

Right there, right there.

Fuck!

Fuck!

[moaning deeply]

Fuck! Oh, my god, right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, shit.

[deep breathing]

Oh, fuck.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[slurping]

[hisses]

[gagging]

[hisses]

[Ashlyn] Mm, come here.

[Ashlyn chuckles]

[deep breathing]

[hisses]

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn hisses]

Oh, it's so deep, right there.

Fuck!

[moans deeply]

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Right there. Fuck yeah!

Oh, that's so good. Right there, right there.

[heavy breathing]

Oh, yes, right there. Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Yes, right there.

[Ashlyn hisses]

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Right there. Oh, yeah, suck those titties.

[deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!

[heavy breathing]

[Ashlyn] Mm, yeah, slap it.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Right there. Fuck!

Right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Right there. Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Ashlyn] Oh, my…

[Ashlyn] Mm-hm.

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Ashlyn moans deeply]

-[Sam] Get on your back. -[Ashlyn laughs]

[Ashlyn hisses]

[Sam] Oh, my god. Just like this.

[laughing]

[deep breathing]

Oh, my god.

Oh, fuck!

[Sam] Oh, my god!

Fuck, right there!

Oh, yes, right there! Yes, fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

-Fuck! -[Sam] Oh, my god!

Mm, yes, fuck those big titties.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, yeah, just like that.

[Sam] Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[hisses]

Oh, yes, like that.

Oh, it's so good.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, right there. Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

-[Sam] Oh, fuck! -[chuckles]

[Sam] Oh, god!

Fuck!

[Sam] Oh, fuck!

-[laughing] -[Sam] Gosh, I guess I won't need these

[Sam] cue cards. I remember every, every word.

[moaning, deep breathing]

[Sam] Oh, my god.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, yes!

[moaning and gasping]

Fuck!

Oh, fuck.

Mm-hm.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

Yes, right there.

Fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[chuckles]

[deep breathing]

Fuck!

Oh, fuck!

[heavy breathing]

[moaning, deep breathing]

-[Sam] Fuck. Fuck. -[laughing]

[Sam] This fucking tie, man.

-[Sam] Let's tie these up. -Oh, my god.

You're silly.

[Sam] Oh, my god, look at that.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

[Sam] Oh, fuck!

Fuck! Oh, my god!

Fuck!

[Sam] Oh, shit!

Mm, right there. Fuck!

[Sam] Oh, fuck!

[Sam] Oh, shit!

-[Sam] I'm about to cum. -Mm, yeah?

-Come here. -[Sam] What do you say

-[Sam] I give you a second necklace? -[laughs]

You have all the bad jokes today.

[Sam] Oh, fuck!

-[Sam] Oh, fuck! -Mm, yeah, come here.

[Sam] Oh, my god.

-[Sam] Oh, my god. -Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck! Right there.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, yes, right there. Fuck those titties.

Oh, yeah! Fuck yes, yes, yes!

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Oh, yes, right there! Mm-hm.

That's it, that's it.

[hisses]

-Fuck! -[Sam] Oh, fuck!

Oh, yes!

-Just like that. -[Sam] Oh, my god. Fuck!

Mm-hm.

-[Sam] Yeah, are you ready? -Mm-hm.

[moaning, deep breathing]

Right there, just like that.

Yeah, stroke it for me.

Yeah, stroke it for me. Fuck!

[deep breathing]

Mm, yes, keep going.

Yes, keep going.

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck yes!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Mm-hm.

Yes, keep stroking it.

Fuck, that's so hot. Just like that.

Fuck!

[moaning, deep breathing]

[hisses]

Fuck!

Yes, yes, yes, yes! That's what I want.

Yes!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Yeah.

-[Sam] Oh, fuck. Are you ready for it? -Yeah.

-[Sam] Oh, fuck! -Yeah, give it to me.

Yes!

[moaning, deep breathing]

Fuck!

Yeah.

[moaning, deep breathing]

-[Sam] Oh, shit! -[chuckles]

[Phil] Sweetheart, are you in there?

-[Phil] Uh, everyone's looking for you. -Uh.

Uh…

you can't see me in my dress yet.

Phil, it's, it's bad luck, remember?

-[Phil] Okay. Alright. -Uh…

Yeah, just tell them I'm coming, okay?

-[Phil] Okay. -Fuck! Just…

get off.

Get off!

[Sam] I gave you some extra hair gel.

Oh, fucking shit.

[music resumes]

[music ends]