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- "Will and Grace"
is recorded in front
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00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:07,268
of a live studio audience.
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00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:08,530
- Good morning.
[laughs]
4
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,141
Welcome to our gender reveal
breakfast.
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00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,578
[laughs]
It's a big moment.
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00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,450
We are one prick away
from finding out
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00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,582
one of the most important...
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00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,497
- Yeah, can we move things
along please?
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00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,847
Lot to do today.
10
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:24,024
- Sorry.
We are two pricks away
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00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,634
from finding out...
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00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,071
Guys, I have a speech
and a poem,
13
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,333
so can we please just do this?
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00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:32,728
- Yeah, audience question.
Can we cut the poem?
15
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:35,165
I have to sneak my headshot
and resume into a stack
16
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,993
of submissions
for a Broadway show.
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00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,188
And then we have
to get to the ballpark
18
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,430
because Karen's baseball team
19
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:41,084
has their
championship game today.
20
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:44,174
- Me owning a baseball team,
who-da thunk it?
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00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:48,048
It's almost as crazy
as a homo having a baby.
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00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,745
[giggles]
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00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,009
Go on, Wilma.
24
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,533
- Thank you.
[clears throat]
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00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,883
A gender party
is a curious thing.
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00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:00,147
[balloon pops]
Ah!
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,542
- It's a girl.
28
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,284
- Oh, thank God!
It's a girl.
29
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:10,766
[stammering]
I'm gonna name her Harper.
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00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,725
She'll be dressed head-to-toe
in breathable French cotton.
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00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:17,381
She'll smell like an expensive
hotel bathroom her entire life.
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00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:18,948
[stammering]
She'll be a giver
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00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,776
but still have a fierce
independent streak.
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00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,212
And most important,
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00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:23,494
she won't be a gross, smelly boy
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00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:24,838
that I'll have
to teach sports to.
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00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:28,000
[exhales] Okay.
Okay.
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00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,394
Okay.
Sorry, that's...
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00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:33,093
I'm done.
Your turn, Grace.
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00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,573
Remember, boy, girl...
41
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,358
[sniffs]
42
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,100
doesn't matter.
43
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:44,278
- Um...
44
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,584
actually, I'm gonna wait.
- What?
45
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:48,804
- All of a sudden,
I'm not sure what I want,
46
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,719
or what I don't want,
or how I'll feel
47
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:53,417
when I find out what I've got,
so, um...
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00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,507
Yeah.
49
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,251
- Yeah, well, great party.
50
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,252
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
51
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,601
We're gonna jam.
52
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,560
You two are delicious,
everything we're for.
53
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,344
Shift it, Kar.
54
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,260
[upbeat trumpet and piano music]
55
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:17,441
♪
56
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,966
- ♪ Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey ♪
57
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,186
♪ Hello, my baby girl
58
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,232
♪ Having a baby girl
59
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,842
♪ She's a baby and...
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00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,279
♪ And she's a girl
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00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,846
[giggles]
I'll work on the lyrics.
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00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,978
[phone ringing]
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00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,719
Hey, Jenny, hi.
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00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,460
- Hey, I got your message.
What's up?
65
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,854
- Oh, big news.
We're having a girl.
66
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,899
[laughing]
We're having a girl!
67
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,074
Can you believe it?
68
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:44,860
- Oh, congrats.
I'm so happy for you.
69
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,949
- Well, I'm so happy
for both of us.
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00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,517
We're bringing a beautiful
baby girl into the world,
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00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,475
and even more important,
it's not a boy.
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00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,347
We're having a girl.
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00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,654
- Well... I mean,
you're having a girl.
74
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:59,048
- What?
No, we're doing this together.
75
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,223
- Well, not exactly.
76
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,225
Uh, I'm providing a service.
77
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:05,489
I'm like an Amazon Locker
for your baby.
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00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,970
- Come on.
This is huge for us.
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00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:10,494
At least let me take you
to lunch to celebrate.
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00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:11,495
What's your favorite restaurant?
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00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,193
- Café Figaro, but I'm actually
82
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,387
meeting a guy for lunch here.
83
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,805
- Oh, who's the guy?
- Chase.
84
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,241
- I thought we didn't like him.
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00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,504
You said he was a bad guy.
I'm gonna meet you there.
86
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:21,679
- What?
No.
87
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:22,874
What did I tell you
about boundaries?
88
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,639
You do not get involved
with my exes,
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00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:28,512
and you do not demonstrate
how to work a nursing bra.
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00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,166
- I didn't know the pump was on.
91
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,776
It was upsetting for both of us.
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00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:34,866
[phone beeping]
Hold on.
93
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,564
I got another call.
94
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,348
- Hello.
- Uh, Mr. Truman...
95
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,437
Dante DiLorenzo.
96
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:43,223
We met at my hair clinic
a few months ago.
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00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,007
Uh, this is a courtesy call
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00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,401
to let you know that
I have ended my marriage
99
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,925
in order to live my truth
as a gay man.
100
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,276
- Okay.
101
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,017
- Sorry, I'm new at this,
102
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,541
but you did mark single
on your consultation form.
103
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,674
FYI, my ex-wife, Melinda,
104
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:02,459
is pretty sure
I'm a thirsty submissive.
105
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:08,204
- Okay, um, I'm... look,
I'm really flattered, but...
106
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,554
- Hey, no need to finish
that sentence.
107
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:12,077
You are right to reject me.
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00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,297
As a straight man,
Melinda said I was a 6,
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00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,430
and as a gay man,
I'm barely a 3 1/2.
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00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:17,909
Thank you and have a nice day.
111
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,084
- No, no, no.
Wait, wait.
112
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,477
Doctor.
- Yes?
113
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:21,652
- How does lunch sound?
114
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:22,914
- Great!
115
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,916
Uh, how's Monday?
I know a place in Midtown.
116
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,571
- Meet me at Café Figaro
in 15 minutes.
117
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,921
- Yes, sir.
[chuckles]
118
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,620
Is it appropriate for me
to say "I am aroused"?
119
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:34,404
- Save it for dessert.
120
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,754
[exciting piano music]
121
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,409
- Hey, Mrs. Walker.
What an exciting day.
122
00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,150
A shot at the title.
123
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,283
So, do you have
prepared remarks,
124
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,545
an inspiring quote,
125
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,547
a rousing call to action?
126
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,288
- Prepared what?
Inspiring huh?
127
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:51,029
A rousing call to ca...?
128
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,640
- What you say in this moment
129
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,511
could be the difference
between victory
130
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,253
and pushing them
from casual opioid abusers
131
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,602
to full-blown addicts.
132
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:02,127
Guys, Mrs. Walker
has something to say.
133
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,738
- Honey, I've got
nothing prepared.
134
00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:05,348
I barely know
where I am right now.
135
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,436
What do I say?
136
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,437
- Okay, I got it.
137
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,699
Remember what you said to me
138
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,875
before my very first
commercial audition?
139
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,487
- You probably won't get it.
Let's go to brunch.
140
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,792
- No, you said that to me
141
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,578
before my audition
for "Crazy Rich Asians."
142
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:19,754
Which I didn't get because...
[snorts]
143
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,365
I'm not rich.
144
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:23,975
It was a DiGiorno ad,
145
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:27,718
and I didn't think
I could play a straight guy.
146
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:30,112
- That was a good speech.
I'll do that one.
147
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,394
- Okay, good, and I'll score it
148
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,333
with dramatic music
using my phone.
149
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,639
- [exhales] All right.
Listen up.
150
00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,008
[inspirational music
playing on phone]
151
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,381
I know you're nervous.
152
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,730
The other guys
153
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,646
have got more talent,
more experience,
154
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:46,171
and let's face it...
More testosterone than you do.
155
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,738
♪
156
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:51,742
But you have something
they don't have.
157
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,005
A lifetime
158
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:57,661
of people telling you
that you're not good enough.
159
00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,838
Today, you're gonna go
out there and show them
160
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:04,799
that in this country,
being unqualified for something
161
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,409
is no match
162
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:09,499
for a totally unfounded sense
of self-confidence.
163
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,936
Now let me hear you say it.
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00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:16,027
"It's not delivery.
It's DiGiorno."
165
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:19,074
[together] It's not delivery?
It's DiGiorno?
166
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,206
- Say it like you mean it.
167
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,818
[together] It's not delivery.
It's DiGiorno.
168
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,123
- Say it!
169
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,561
[together] It's not delivery!
It's DiGiorno!
170
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,302
- Damn right it is!
- Let's go!
171
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:33,393
[all cheering, yelling]
172
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,749
- How did I not get that part?
173
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,141
- Oh, honey.
174
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,534
- Just hearing that speech
175
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,406
took me back to the old Jack.
176
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,537
Yeah.
- [giggles]
177
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,061
- When I think about
how pathetic I was.
178
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:53,064
I get one text
about an audition,
179
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,719
be convinced it was gonna
change my whole life,
180
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,547
run around the room
like a crazy person,
181
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,462
flailing my arms in the air,
182
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,986
and screech into a towel
until I'd faint.
183
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,466
[both laughing]
184
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,816
Ah, thank God those days
are behind us, huh?
185
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,165
- Yeah.
- I can't even...
186
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:10,560
[phone dings]
- Oh, let's see what that is...
187
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,954
Mayor Pete Buttigieg...
I got an audition!
188
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,651
I got an audition!
189
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,697
[screaming] Oh, my God!
I got an audition!
190
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,742
My whole life is
about to change!
191
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:20,527
I'm gonna be rich and famous,
192
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,572
and everybody's gonna love me!
193
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:26,097
[muffled screaming]
194
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:29,579
[body thuds]
195
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,102
[exciting piano music]
196
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:34,715
.
197
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,021
- What am I afraid of?
198
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,415
Boy or girl?
Win-win!
199
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:43,898
But having a girl
would be amazing.
200
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:46,161
Oh.
201
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,511
I could sing the song
202
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:51,296
that my mom used to sing to me.
Remember, Mom?
203
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:57,041
♪ My hope is that
you're pretty in life ♪
204
00:07:57,085 --> 00:08:00,349
♪ You meet a man
and become his wife ♪
205
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:05,310
♪ Have his children,
six or eight ♪
206
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,314
♪ Eat small meals
to maintain your weight ♪
207
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:18,454
What a jacked up song!
208
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,457
No wonder my sisters
are so messed up, right?
209
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:25,722
Look, I don't want you
to obsess over your looks.
210
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,289
Okay?
211
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:30,901
If your eyebrows look
a little Frida Kahlo-ish,
212
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:33,338
or you put too much lox spread
213
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,818
on your second bagel,
214
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,124
you go girl!
215
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,518
I won't say a word.
216
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,477
But I won't have to.
217
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,802
Because you'll take
one look at my face
218
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,873
and you will see that
I'm totally judging you.
219
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:49,877
And jealous that you
can still metabolize bagels.
220
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,401
[sobbing]
221
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:57,580
[sighs]
That's why
222
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,278
I would be the worst mother
to a girl.
223
00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:03,586
Other than my mom.
224
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,937
And Maleficent.
225
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:09,157
- Normally I would order
the fettuccine,
226
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,941
but now that I'm gay,
227
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,465
I need to be a bit more
of a body fascist.
228
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:17,295
So, um, a salad
and we share an app?
229
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,297
Is that how it works?
- That's an old stereotype.
230
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:21,604
Gay men are not that
militant about what we eat.
231
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,650
We do not need bread.
232
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,348
I don't like that tension.
233
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:30,221
- I imagine I'll loosen up
as I become more gay.
234
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:33,660
- Oh, no, sorry.
I'm talking about that couple.
235
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,445
- Oh, right.
I saw this on "Pose."
236
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,882
We're gonna be bitchy queens.
237
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,971
Like, uh,
"The '90s called collect
238
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,451
"to talk about his hair
239
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:45,889
and he accepted the charges."
240
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,543
- Good first try, yeah, but, uh,
241
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,025
shorter, funnier,
and more from this century.
242
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:53,593
- So much to process,
being newly gay.
243
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:54,594
[chuckles]
244
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,160
Actually, I've known
for 26 years,
245
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,772
but Saturday, I tried on
a pair of short-shorts,
246
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,731
and said, "These legs belong
on a man's shoulders."
247
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,431
- Well, we all have
our origin story.
248
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:10,740
- But you could be a boy,
couldn't you,
249
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,699
gender balloon?
250
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,876
[sighs]
251
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,618
My boy.
[laughs]
252
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,403
Little boys are so sweet,
253
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,231
sensitive, and loving.
254
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:26,451
You will be kind and gentle,
255
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,802
and you won't be afraid to cry.
256
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,542
And we will always be close,
257
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,544
because you're not gonna be
one of those boys
258
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,895
who's embarrassed
to hang out with his mom
259
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,418
after he hits puberty.
260
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,768
And you'll still snuggle
with me.
261
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:45,079
Oh, my God, if I'm your mother,
you're never gonna get laid!
262
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:48,299
[sobbing]
Oh, no!
263
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:53,261
No, no.
I can't... I can't.
264
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,698
I can't... I can't even
look at you.
265
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:59,223
[sighs]
I am setting you free.
266
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:02,400
Good-bye gender balloon.
267
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,362
[exhales]
268
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,234
Gender balloon?
269
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:14,935
Gender balloon!
270
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:18,721
Come back!
271
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,767
- Do we kiss now?
272
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,420
- I'm gonna say
we're not there yet.
273
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,379
- Okay.
- Oh, look at him.
274
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,337
Eating off her plate, the mooch.
275
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,383
You just know he's not paying
for lunch.
276
00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:31,473
- Oh, are we not done
tearing those people down yet?
277
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:34,432
- Sorry, I know that woman.
It's a long st...
278
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:36,739
Where'd she go?
279
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,262
Did he make her cry?
280
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,979
That is the last thing
she needs right now.
281
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,005
Should I go over there?
Should I say something?
282
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,877
- I wouldn't.
- Jenny.
283
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,010
Hey.
What a surprise.
284
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,969
This is... Look at us both here!
285
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,274
[laughs nervously]
286
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,059
- What the hell, Will?
You're spying on me?
287
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,539
- Drama!
288
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,150
Am... am I doing this correctly?
289
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:59,501
Do I snap up?
Do I do the Z?
290
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,329
- It's just one jazzy snap
across the body.
291
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,460
[snaps]
292
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,549
[exciting piano music]
293
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:07,378
.
294
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:10,294
- Sorry, I just got...
Got a little overwhelmed.
295
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:13,863
The audition is for the revival
of my favorite musical.
296
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:16,257
- They're bringing back
"Diddler on the Poof"?
297
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,912
- No.
It's for "On the Town."
298
00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:21,784
I'm auditioning
for the pivotal dual role
299
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:25,135
of Sailor Number Five
and Fourth Workman.
300
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,963
But, Kar, before you
go back out there,
301
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,811
do you mind running it
with me once real quick?
302
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:29,923
- Sure, honey.
Go ahead.
303
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,489
- Oh, my gosh, okay.
Thank you so much.
304
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,666
Um, it's the baritone harmony
from the opening number.
305
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,668
- Ooh.
- [steadies breath]
306
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:38,409
Five, six, seven, eight.
307
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:42,109
♪ Ooh
308
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,982
♪ Diddy diddy
309
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,377
♪ Zap zap
310
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:53,685
♪ Ooh
311
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:57,515
[holding note]
♪ Ah
312
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,039
♪ Ahoy!
313
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:02,999
[exhales]
Thank you.
314
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,696
And then I'm silent
for like 64 bars.
315
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:07,177
- A 3-run homer?
Am I dreaming?
316
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,745
I must be dreaming.
Someone pinch me.
317
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,660
[yelps]
That hurt so much.
318
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:14,271
It's really happening!
[yelps]
319
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,494
- You better go out there, Kar.
It's a big day.
320
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:21,496
- Ah, big day for both of us.
321
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,847
Your first Broadway audition.
- It sure is.
322
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:25,848
- Come on.
I'll walk you out.
323
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,763
- Okay, great.
324
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,854
- You coming?
- Yeah, I'm, uh,
325
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,900
right behind you.
- Okay.
326
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,034
Honey?
327
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,297
- Just don't know
if I can do this.
328
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:43,605
- This is your chance to be
a gay actor on Broadway.
329
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:46,042
It's never been done.
330
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:49,045
You could break the ass ceiling.
331
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,961
- Maybe it's time
to just face reality.
332
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,745
I'm not
a Broadway-caliber actor,
333
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,922
and I never will be.
334
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,273
- Now, you listen to me.
335
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:02,058
Our friendship is the most
successful relationship
336
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:04,931
of my life.
And do you know why?
337
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:09,892
- Because I threw that gun
in the river for you?
338
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,589
- Because when I'm down,
339
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:12,895
you make me believe
340
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,942
that something great
is just around the corner.
341
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,902
You're a dreamer, Jackie.
342
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,122
It's the very best part of you.
343
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:26,691
Come on.
I'ma take you to that audition.
344
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,476
- But what about the game?
345
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,956
- Oh, honey.
346
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:33,611
You're way more important to me
than some silly game.
347
00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,178
You're my poodle.
348
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:40,183
[distant cheering]
349
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,100
[whispers]
Kay, now.
350
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,581
Hey, um,
you wiped the fingerprints
351
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,801
off that gun first, right?
352
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,108
Oh, it doesn't matter.
They're your prints.
353
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,937
- Hello, uh,
this is Grace Adler.
354
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,547
I'm a patient
of Dr. Saperstein's,
355
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:59,333
and I'm calling to find out
the gender of my baby.
356
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,902
- Yeah, you're gonna wanna
check between the legs.
357
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,688
If it's an outie, it's a boy.
358
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:07,994
If it's an innie, it's a girl.
359
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,299
And if it's both,
360
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,171
please take a picture
and send it to me.
361
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,303
I've always wanted
to see one of those.
362
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,132
- No, I'm pregnant.
363
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,481
- Okay, well then you're a girl.
364
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,179
Does that help?
365
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,398
- Nurse?
Just look it up.
366
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,053
- Okay, let's see.
Grace Adler.
367
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,751
Date of birth, 4/7/19.
368
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:29,102
Wait.
That can't be right.
369
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,234
- Just tell me the gender,
please.
370
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,844
- It says the gender information
371
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,498
has been sent
to a balloon company.
372
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,283
- Oh, yeah, um...
373
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,043
things didn't really work out
with the balloon,
374
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,591
and I threw it off the balcony.
375
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:44,552
- Well, let's hope things
work out with the baby.
376
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:47,729
- Just tell me if I'm having
a boy or a girl.
377
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,339
- "Ms. Adler requests
378
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,994
not to disclose information
over the phone."
379
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,474
- Yes, yes.
I know.
380
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,060
That's because I didn't think
I'd be patient enough
381
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,217
to wait for the balloon,
but I was.
382
00:15:57,260 --> 00:16:00,089
But I... I just got scared.
383
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:03,005
You know, that big
question mark on that balloon
384
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,312
just staring you
right in the face, you know?
385
00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:06,791
- Yeah, I get it.
You're conflicted.
386
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,969
It's like the first time
I hooked up with my step-dad.
387
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,147
- The first time?
388
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,366
- Yeah, it was my 40th birthday,
389
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,890
and my step-dad said
I wasn't allowed
390
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,544
to get my ears pierced.
391
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,677
And I said,
"I don't have to listen to you.
392
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,940
You're not my real dad."
393
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,989
From then on, it escalated
into something really special.
394
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:34,384
- Uh, thanks for, um,
395
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:37,953
well, uh...
I'm not really sure, just...
396
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,217
[sighs]
397
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,914
Okay, I guess this is a sign
398
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,961
that I'm... I'm not
supposed to know.
399
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,747
[yelping]
400
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,315
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
401
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:55,144
Gender balloon, you came back!
402
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:59,018
Don't you make me worry
like that ever again!
403
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:03,631
This is clearly a sign
that I'm supposed to find out.
404
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:05,241
Okay.
[sighs]
405
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,721
I'm gonna wait
until Will gets home,
406
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,592
and then I'm gonna pop you.
407
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,029
And I don't care.
408
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,595
Boy or girl,
409
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:14,685
I'm gonna love you
no matter what.
410
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:15,860
[balloon pops]
411
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,297
[exciting piano music]
412
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:20,213
.
413
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:22,432
- Let's just get one thing
really clear here.
414
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,695
You and me?
Business arrangement.
415
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,045
I'm really just your oven.
416
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,786
- But you're not.
That's the problem.
417
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,049
Please.
418
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,924
I don't know how
to keep things separate.
419
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,579
You're doing this
extraordinary thing for me.
420
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,928
You're giving me something
421
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:42,235
the world has told me
for my entire life
422
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,324
that I could never have.
423
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,935
I have all this love
for you and...
424
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,328
I don't know what to do with it.
425
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,199
- I feel close to you too.
426
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:53,246
And I hate that because these
relationships have an end date.
427
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,943
I've done this before.
428
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,119
I've gotten invested.
I've gotten hurt.
429
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,382
You're just gonna move on
once the baby is born.
430
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,341
- Jenny, that is not who I am.
431
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:05,084
For me, it'd be weird if you
weren't in my life in some way.
432
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:07,651
- For me, too.
433
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:11,090
- Can't we just do this
however we want?
434
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,310
- We could give it a try.
435
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,877
- I'd like that.
436
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,578
- Will, uh, I'm sorry,
437
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,146
but I think there's a spark
with Chase.
438
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,193
He just asked me
to co-sign a loan for him.
439
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:32,415
But thank you
for taking my gay cherry.
440
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,156
- Terrific.
Tell your friends.
441
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,380
- So I kissed the balloon,
442
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:43,731
and you know how I haven't
waxed my upper lip in a while?
443
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:45,994
Well, it popped,
444
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,301
and the glitter powder
got all over me,
445
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,606
but I wanted to surprise you.
446
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,174
I am having...
447
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,828
- I got the part!
448
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,529
You are looking
at the third understudy
449
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:02,402
for Sailor Number Five/Fourth
Workman
450
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,795
on Broadway.
451
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,058
- Jack, that is amazing!
452
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:10,105
It just goes to show you
if you kind of try
453
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,326
for 38 years,
good things happen.
454
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,849
- Congratulations!
455
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:16,764
I have big news too.
456
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,026
I am having...
457
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,070
- We did it!
458
00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:20,724
Bottom of the tenth,
bases loaded,
459
00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:23,249
Rodriguez with a grand salami.
460
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:25,294
- Who in this castle of queers
461
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:28,297
looks like they understand
what that means?
462
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,127
Well, did we win or lose?
463
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,215
- We won.
464
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,304
We beat
the Adirondack Mosquitoes.
465
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,132
- Good Lord, it's over.
466
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,135
I am finally done with baseball!
467
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,834
- Well,
until the new season starts.
468
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,446
Then there's recruiting,
spring training,
469
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,621
signing free agents...
470
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:48,970
- Can I say my thing now?
471
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,799
I'm getting sweaty,
and I'm out of muffins.
472
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,844
- Sorry, ghost.
473
00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:55,803
It's just so exciting.
474
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,370
Baseball never ends.
475
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:58,893
- Well, it does for me.
476
00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:02,157
I was just doing this
to stick it to my ex.
477
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,419
But, uh,
478
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:06,727
you seem like you really care
about this team
479
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,773
and have nothing else
to live for.
480
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:14,256
Do you want the Millstones?
481
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,040
- Oh, my God, yes.
482
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,477
Mrs. Walker,
483
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,784
you are the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
484
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:23,570
- What are you talking about?
She ruined your bakery.
485
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:24,919
- She took away your first name.
486
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,288
- She forced you to spend
a night in the woods
487
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,269
with a baby bear.
488
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,357
- And now she's making
489
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:30,272
all of my dreams come true.
490
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:34,450
Thanks, Mrs. Walker.
- Come on.
491
00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:37,192
You can call me Karen.
- Oh.
492
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,150
- Nope, Mrs. Walker.
493
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:44,417
Good luck, Amy,
and, uh, don't forget
494
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,288
you signed an NDA.
495
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:53,295
- Can I say my news now?
496
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,862
Will.
497
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,827
- How dare you?
498
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,961
If you got a part
in Blue Man Group
499
00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:08,615
and are stealing
my Broadway moment,
500
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:10,878
I will never forgive you.
501
00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:13,402
- I'm having a boy.
502
00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:16,971
- And?
503
00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:18,581
- I am so, so happy.
504
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,801
[all laughing]
35539
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