Original subtitles

Can't do it, not tonight.

What a pussy. Just go.

Easier said than done.

You're useless. Forget it.

I don't... I can't.

If it's so easy why don't you go?

You think I wouldn't?

I'm helping you bro!

Fine. I'm a loser, you're cool, OK?

These chicks don't even compare.

You're so lame.

Your chick doesn't even like you.

The left one is cute.

Seems nice huh?

Don't be fooled by appearances.

What should I say?

Let the master teach you.

For you.

What?

Call your mom and tell her you're going home with me tonight.

You sleaze!

This, is me.

But not the usual me.

I had a feeling she was going to do that.

Sun Zi's advice is usually full of shit.

Makes me wonder, if I've forgotten how to pick up girls.

How'd it go? Hey, your face is all red.

Did you get her number?

No. She's not my type.

Like I said, "nice" girls are the easiest.

Yeah, she was real nice.

Forget her.

We'll find you another one.

I can't remember when my friends made it their goal to hook me up with girls.

I never asked them to, I already met my target.

Don't worry, it's definitely real.

Morning.

Good morning sir, can I help you?

Sorry, I slept in.

Customers get here earlier than you!

Why be bosses if we can't come anytime?

Thanks for coming.

You have to be here to be a boss!

I'm sick of opening, you open all next week.

Fine. Don't cry.

Any new stuff?

One Qing dynasty teapot.

And one pair of underwear.

Whose is it?

Some actor's, I wrote it down.

I have to go.

Tell my sister to call me.

Don't forget to sweep.

Got it.

This is my place. I co-own it with Liang.

He's allowed to scold me, because he put up most of the money.

We've talked of owning an antique shop since high school.

It may not be that grand,

but how many people can say they own a shop?

Funny thing is,

I had to leave college to run it.

I was studying accounting. Why?

Because my dad's an accountant,

and so is my brother,

and so is my aunt's husband.

That didn't last too long.

Because what I really wanted to be is an author.

Hey Wen Zi.

Don't call me Wen Zi.

Call your brother.

Will it kill you if you didn't have one?

Make your call already.

Out of the network area.

Is he still playing Counter-Strike?

Where's your chick, what's new?

Aren't you supposed to be in class?

Professor's sick. Tell me.

No news. It's all good.

Did you call her?

What for? She's probably busy.

Shooting a TV show?

I guess.

Then call and make her day.

No way. She'll think I'm an idiot just thinking of her all the time.

But you are.

How much for this clock?

400!?

What a rip off. I'll give you 250.

Okay, okay fine, 250.

Take it easy.

What?

That piece of crap is only worth 40.

I never said 400,

he wanted to give it to me, so why not?

That's pocket change for guys like him.

Is that my brother's?

Yup.

Tell him I'll call him later.

What am I the answering machine?

These are my closest friends.

We've known each other since high school.

This is Haitao.

He's a bit slow, but a great guitar player.

Recently formed his 3rd band.

This is San.

He's the assistant of the guy who records sound for TV shows.

A champion bullshitter,

and useless when it comes to giving opinions.

This is my partner Liang.

His dream is to be a major antique dealer.

I told him if he ever makes it big,

I'd be his assistant...

But he said, I'm only qualified to hold the pen.

What a punk.

Keep it down!

This bundle of joy is Liang's girlfriend Lin.

We don't get along too well.

This is Jing, my closest high school classmate.

Studying graphic design now; one of the guys.

Though years ago, San had a crush on her for like 2 days.

He tried to kiss her, only to get his ass kicked.

You all suck! Hurry up, pay up.

Did you call that girl?

No.

You two get it on yet or what?

I called earlier but it was busy...

I told you guys she's in Shanghai, I'll...

Seriously, I would have had her that night!

Keep talking through your asses, she's not that kind of girl.

What's wrong with him?

No idea. Since he and Wu broke up,

he's acting dumber than a schoolboy.

Oh come on! I just met her a few months ago.

Why, who's going to school?

I thought he was going to score that night.

If I'd known this fool was...

I told you guys, she's different!

What?

You mean our comrade Wen is about to give up the single life?

This punk's fallen for her, bad!

You just figured that out? He's serious.

Yeah?

They were right. I didn't want to admit it,

but I fell for her the very first time we met.

Yo, check this out...

My buddy texted me a funny joke.

It's about two cows, so like... One day...

...Hey, so this cow got kidnapped...

Hey, I know her.

Wait up.

It's me, San, you remember me?

Just come say hi, that's all.

This is Rong, this is my boy Wen.

This is... dude, what's your name again?

- Leo DiCaprio. - Really.

Are you an actress?

Trying. You?

I sell antiques.

Really, that's cool.

He's also a novelist.

Unpublished.

Alright, now you've been introduced,

take her home!

Sorry! So sorry!

You split my ass in half!

Butts are in halves to begin with.

And like that, I fell for her.

She had a special quality and a sense of humor.

Any other girl would have...

How come you're out by yourself?

I was supposed to meet some friends,

but they canceled at the last minute.

You sure they just don't like you?

How do you know San?

I don't know him that well.

I think he was crew member on a show I was in.

Which show?

I guarantee you've never seen me on TV.

Take my recent one,

I was a kung-fu warrior, I flew from left to right...

and got killed on landing.

Not doing too well these days.

What kind of stories do you write?

Me? I'll tell you next time.

So I'll have something to talk about.

How do you know I'll see you again?

Because baby, you and I...

...I can't think of anything clever. I'd like to see you again.

Can I have your number?

Much better, be natural. Girls hate it when guys try and impress.

Thanks for the tip.

What's your number?

1362220069

Why? You're not suggesting I wait for your call.

Don't blame me if you lose your phone.

There you guys are!

What're you doing?

You guys are a walking accident.

She meant you.

So with that, the night got abruptly flushed down the toilet.

Sweet dreams.

But that's okay,

I called her, 2 days later...

Standard wait time under int'I rules,

and asked her out to dinner.

Notice how you can't look cool, no matter how tough a guy you are,

if you drink through a straw?

Imagine Schwarzenegger, big guy,

sipping through a straw...

Looks like an idiot!

Don't move...

It'd help if you didn't have this too.

So tell me, what kind of stories do you write?

Horror stories.

What, like ghost stories?

No, well, sort of.

Stories that send a chill down the spine.

Nobody writes really scary books these days.

You know?

When I read a really good book,

it's like the author is right there in the room talking to me...

That's why I don't like reading good books.

Then, you'll probably like mine.

Any success with publishers?

I have some connections.

Here's to fame and fortune.

Why, you want a piece of it?

Sure.

At least you're honest.

Actually, I hope when I die,

people will say:

"That talented punk owed me tons of cash."

You are so weird.

I haven't had this much fun with a guy in a long time.

Me too... I mean with a girl.

Don't know, maybe I meet a lot of jerks.

Me too. Wonder if they're the same people.

When are you coming back?

Not sure. This time, it's a bigger role.

Maybe a few weeks.

I also have a photo shoot,

so, maybe a month.

How should I pass these four weeks of boredom?

Don't think of me, go write your book.

Hi sir.

Buy a flower for your girlfriend?

No thanks cutie.

Hey! The balloons!

Ah, it's gone.

Looks pretty.

It's like that children's picture book:

"Mysterious Balloons"

Yeah, I remember reading that.

You do? I just made it up!

Yeah? Well, so did I.

Even though I knew I'd miss her,

I was going to be fine.

Since meeting her,

my life has felt complete.

I had finally found the girl of my dreams.

Nonsense. No such thing.

As what?

Dream girl.

I'm not saying she's perfect.

Plenty of prettier girls than her.

Just that, she's... right for me.

I like her.

Besides, wasn't Mom yours?

Dream girl, she was not.

But I wasn't wrong about her.

You kids these days,

just because you pitch a tent in your pants, you think you're in love.

What a joke.

Forget it.

How's the book?

Still writing it.

Excuse me, do you have the time?

What are you doing! Get back!

Don't be afraid.

What's wrong?

Just now, somebody...

These people, faceless...

With knives...

What are you talking about? There's no one else here.

I'll call you a taxi...

You're one of them.

I told you she was a smart one.

Is that all? Not bad!

Wait. Tell me the truth.

Really, I liked it.

Really?

What do the faceless people represent?

Are they a metaphor for your own psyche?

Can't tell you yet, but you'll know when it's done.

Why would she run to the front desk?

If it was me, I wouldn't do that.

- Well, because she... - Why would she ask for the time?

Libraries have clocks everywhere.

Good point.

Pretty scary though, you've improved.

I felt like I was there.

Thanks. Must hurry up and finish it.

A publisher's interested.

I wonder if she'll call.

Nope.

She's supposed to be back today.

She's waiting for you to call her, dummy.

I don't know when she arrives.

You're afraid she's just stepping on or off the plane,

and you'll seem like an obsessed freak?

Exactly.

I'll tell you a secret,

but don't go blabbing...

Oh come on! I've never...

Yeah, yeah, fine.

Do you know why I like her?

I thought you had some big dark secret.

Um, gee let me guess: She's a babe?

Babes are a dime a dozen. It's not that.

It's because she corresponds to The List.

Since I was 17, I've had a list.

Don't look at me like that.

I've actually got it at home.

A list of ideal qualities I want in a woman.

36-24-36?

Aside from the obvious.

For example, her fun personality;

Her sense of humor;

She doesn't always expect me to pay;

She isn't full of herself;

Sometimes she's just as weird as me;

We can talk about nothing and still have fun;

She's smart... unlike a lot of actors...

And she likes kids... among other things.

You've ticked off the whole list

in that short amount of time?

What makes you so perfect to demand all that?

I didn't... I'm saying that's what I want,

and so far

I've found it in her.

Kids? How does she like kids?

Does she have one?

What-are-you, looking for a wife now?

No, well... what do you mean?

Isn't that where all relationships should end up?

I'm not getting any younger.

I support you. If you need any girl advice, ask me.

Can we buy art supplies after you close?

Sure.

I know you guys have some weird crap here...

But, what the hell is that?

That?

Is a big-time movie star's costume.

Whose? What's it doing here?

Do you know Chow Yun-Fat?

No way! Get out of here! Really?

Yup, that's Chow Yun-Fat's underwear.

It's her.

Hi. Yes.

When did you get back? Last night?

I thought, uh...

No, not busy really...

You know, at the store.

Sure. No problem.

See you in an hour.

Told you she'd call me!

I need a favor buddy. Take care of the shop for me.

I have to go home.

Please? I'll be your slave in my next life.

"Hoes before bros" much?

Sorry, I know.

I promise we'll go shopping another day. OK?

We'll see. Get out of here.

You suck at this game. One call and you go running?

Give me your hand.

This is our secret handshake.

Don't teach anyone else.

Promise I'll take you.

Good luck lover-boy.

Calm down buddy boy. Must calm down.

Though excited to see her,

I remind myself not to over do it.

She'll think I'm a retard.

Every game has rules and stages,

even this game of love.

I sense I've entered Stage One:

Where you analyze every move the girl makes.

I can tell she's happy to see me.

Didn't hug me, but that's OK...

She doesn't want to look like a flirt.

But she couldn't resist touching me.

A definite sign of affection.

- I've missed you. - Yeah? Me too.

Yeah! She said 'me too'!

How was Shanghai?

Exhausting. Have one more week here.

How's business?

Anyone buy the underwear?

Which - No, not yet.

You look beautiful today.

Really?

Thanks.

I love you.

Finally! What took you so long?!

What do you think?

Good.

- Which one's better? - That one.

Why do you want to be an actress?

Fame and money.

Very materialistic.

I'm kidding dummy.

How much do you think actors like me get paid?

I don't know.

Trust me, not much.

So much I have to model for stupid products like breast enhancement cream.

Can I judge the results?

Too many kids here.

Let's get dinner, I'm starving.

Sure, let's go.

You're a fun guy Wen.

How come you don't have a girlfriend?

My last one felt I wasn't serious enough.

Really, what happened?

We have finally arrived at Stage Two:

Where we ask personal questions.

It didn't work out.

Just, totally not compatible.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do now... with you.

Quit joking, seriously.

You, baby.

With who?

With you, baby.

Come on, tell me.

I'm saying you!

I believe in love at first sight, but I also think it's up to destiny.

I think everyone can find the right one for them.

If fate wants them to be together, it happens.

Yes. That's what all women say.

This is where I should tell her my true feelings.

She's opened the door and it's now or never.

Hey, it's you!

Who's this punk?

- Long time no see. - Yeah.

What's new? Grab a bite?

Just a sec.

Da Ming, this is my friend Chen Wen.

Wen's an international antique dealer.

Wow, big business.

Wen, he's asked me to have dinner.

I need to talk about some things with him. So I have to go. I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, okay. So...

I had a great time today. Thanks.

No problem.

I hate it when I do that.

Walk into a room and forget why.

Bet that's how pets spend their whole lives.

One thing's for sure:

I'm not calling her.

She said she'd call me.

Besides I'd violate a major rule:

Don't call the girl the same night, after hanging out all day.

Keep the change. Closing soon?

Hi, Rong? Hello?

Can you hear me?

Hello? Who is this?

It's me.

Who?

Me!

Who is this?

It's me, Chen Wen. You're signal is bad.

Oh. Hi.

I frantically try and think of something intelligent to say,

but the best I can do is...

Hey, was that guy your boyfriend?

No. He's a friend.

I must go, call you later?

Right. Okay.

"Is he your boyfriend?" What a genius.

No, she said she was busy.

She was boning the guy.

Really? You're so smart.

Then why did she answer the phone?

You suck.

Wen, I don't want to be an asshole,

but a chick out by herself so late?

Sun Zi, that's not even his real name.

In fact none of us know his name.

He's the type you hang with at bars.

Not even sure what he actually does...

Heard he runs a DVD distribution ring.

Only hangs with us when he wants free drinks.

What's the big deal?

But don't sweat it bro. At this stage,

you have to do something outrageously romantic.

If you keep going the way you are, you'll end up being girlfriends.

That guy might've been her boyfriend.

Who gives a shit! Tell him to piss off.

Women like it when guys fight over them.

I know she likes me, I can tell from the details.

Like when we eat,

and my cup is empty, she fills it up right away.

Real caring like.

First-class waitress. Are you a first-grader?

The girl next to you in class picks up your pencil and you think she likes you?

Are you for real?

I'll think of something cool to do.

I'm the master of cool things!

I'm out of here bro.

Alright man, hey, got any new discs?

Couldn't find "Scream 4".

New Stephen Chow movie is bad quality.

Here, John Woo's "Face/Off".

Seen that a million times, it's old!

Special edition, classic. Go watch it again.

Can you lend bro another 500?

You two hurry up, 10 minutes.

Got it.

Who's that?

Looking for you Rong?

What are you doing?

For you. Open it.

Are you out of your mind?!

Open it first.

What's this? What're you doing?

Instead of some cliche, which we aren't,

I got you something you'll never forget.

One day you'll be thinking about it,

but it'll be gone...

Like my feelings for you, it will only exist inside you.

Very sweet thanks,

but I can't take it.

You're refusing a candy ring?

Good thing I didn't get the gold one.

We're leaving soon. I have to get ready.

Most girls would have been touched.

Well, I'm not most girls.

You think because you pulled a cute stunt

I should gush all over you?

Grow up, I'm not that kind of girl.

What? I'm trying to express my true feelings,

not trying to get you into bed.

I swear on my neighbor's pet's life.

I'm not in the mood for your jokes today.

What's wrong? That time of the month?

Yes, I'm on my period!

You want to say it louder?

Maybe the janitor didn't hear you.

Later.

Fine. Don't say I didn't try.

You call this trying?

She's testing me.

But I'm not going to turn around first.

That's so unfair.

It's like women are born knowing

the guy will turn back first.

Who was that? So romantic.

I'll take him if you don't want him.

If I were a girl, I would have fallen for me.

Another thing is for certain,

that's the last time I listen to Sun Zi's bullshit advice.

I sought refuge in the company of friends

to forget my situation with Rong for a while.

Only trouble was,

I had to listen to their unasked opinions on the subject.

Your problem is you have no persistence.

You want everything now.

Frankly, you just don't understand women.

Your few seconds of charm

might fool little girls. But knowing you,

try again in your next life.

How about this one?

Don't like the color.

Sometimes you can't make someone love you.

All you can do is be someone who is worth loving.

The rest is up to them.

What?

What'd you expect?

An angel? She's an actress, boy!

Take whatever chicks say as important as a fart.

"No" means "yes",

"I don't love you" means "I do".

"I don't want" means "I want."

Damn it, can't you shoot?

Women are lame...

Women are lame, you're lame too.

Why's this fool always late?

This guy is half-Chinese.

He's the bass player in Haitao's new band.

His day job is teaching corporate English.

Which face did you take off today?

"26 minutes late..."

"Casing didn't fit right?"

Don't blame me, traffic sucked.

This is lan, this is my buddy Liang.

Hi. Pleasure.

Your Chinese is pretty good.

So is yours.

Sure he's a foreigner?

Joint-venture product.

We hadn't gone to the mountains in a long time.

We'd talked about leaving the city, just us.

Now that Liang had finally bought a car...

- Are we there yet? - Almost.

Really? Hurry up! The electric donkey is faster!

Step on it.

- Tasty? - Not bad.

That's why you're here, to barbeque.

It was great being away from the city.

We joked about all kinds of things.

But when you throw a bunch of guys together,

one topic is sure to come up: Women.

Unfortunately, once again it was about...

Don't hang out with her anymore.

She'll wonder why you're ignoring her.

Wait for her to make a move.

For some reason, chicks these days do that.

Right. Pay too much attention, and they disappear,

but when they miss the attention,

they always come running back.

That's a basic rule.

That's what I've... I'm not even bothering.

She's playing games.

First one to confess their love loses,

she's got you by the balls now.

Unless you get her jealous.

Bet she'll start chasing you then.

The plan was to get Rong to think I had a life without her.

To have her see me with another girl.

Let's just say it was an experiment on behalf of all the guys on the planet.

The first step was to get a girl to cooperate.

Where would I find such a girl?

Jing wasn't a bad looking girl.

She was the best choice I had.

It took some pleading, but she finally agreed.

Fine. But you pay for the clothes.

Fine. Easy.

- OK. - Deal.

Promise?

Just be careful not to really fall for me.

What?!

San got a buddy to call Rong to get her photos

for a possible commercial.

People are always asking for photos in their business.

Even lan got involved.

He claimed he could borrow a Porsche.

But the best he got was his cousin's VW.

On condition that it was back before sunset.

After all, I had to look good,

like there's more to me than meets the eye.

What?

Where's Jing?

Ha Ha. Retard.

What happened, you actually look pretty!

Screw you.

If you want to back out,

we can forget about the whole thing.

No, let's go. It's dumb.

And we've got nothing better to do.

Do I look okay?

Practically a walking magazine cover.

They agreed to meet in front of a hotel.

Everything was in place, all we had to do was make contact.

1, 2, shake, hook...

Right, then bump.

Bump this.

Get in character.

Should be here.

Is that her?

Get ready to get out.

Hey, she went inside.

She's gone.

What? Where?

I don't know, just come!

Hurry up.

Get over here.

Chen Wen? It is you.

What are you doing?

Hey! What are you doing here?

I thought I saw you.

Dropping something off.

Really? Nice.

Let's go baby! We're late.

What? Oh! Right. Coming.

Sorry, I'm in a hurry.

Oh okay. You'd better go then.

Right. Call when you're free.

You're a genius!

You should be the actress, even I believed it!

Save the ass-kissing for later.

You think it worked?

Definitely. She looked over here twice.

Yeah?

So that's your dream girl huh?

Feedback.

She's pretty.

I'll admit, even though later I thought the whole incident was pretty stupid,

but seeing her reaction proved I still had a place in her heart.

Besides, like Jing said, we didn't have anything better to do.

Careful with that TV set.

Wen, what's all this?!

They needed an antique shop for an episode,

so San asked if he could borrow it.

Are you getting more stupid?

How are we supposed to do business?

Did they pay a fee?

No.

But San said he'll put us in the show.

You're joking right?!

Bro, it's my big chance!

They're letting me be the boom guy.

If I do well, I get the rest of the series.

It'll only take an hour.

Free publicity for the shop.

Make sure they don't lose our things.

Where? Where? Move!

This is the head director.

This is the associate director, and assistant director.

This is the director's assistant...

Listen! In a moment,

you two, stand behind the counter and look busy.

At this point our main star...

There you are Mr. Liu!

What do you mean look busy...

What's an associate director?

Okay. Ready... hurry up!

Roll tape.

5,4,3,2,1... action!

I don't want to discuss it!

But you promised you'd handle it.

Sister?!

What are you doing here?

You heartless bitch!

Cut! Excellent.

How's that? Not bad huh?

Great! No wonder they call you One-Take Liu.

That's right.

If I get famous, I'm opening a restaurant.

If I get famous, I'll buy a publisher.

If I get famous, I'm ignoring you two.

See that girl there?

She's the new script girl.

She's been staring at me all day.

Telling you, she wants me.

Make a move bro!

No way, I got to look like I'm not interested.

Yeah, that way she won't ever know who you are.

Go over and talk.

Forget her.

Not interested. She looks like a bitch.

Bullshit. You just talk big.

You've all got endless advice

but none of you ever follow it yourselves.

What about you?

Can't even score with that dumb chick, you had to resort to stupid tricks.

You're one to talk!

What the hell?

Oh, and your girl? I introduced her to you!

I have a feeling she'll call today.

But as the phone tricked me all morning,

I realized women know how to mess with

a guy's mind and his confidence.

Granted she could be busy.

Acting is tough, I know, I've tried it.

But I think Rong really wants to call me,

she's just waiting for me to give in.

Bet she's out there right now, alone and waiting,

for the phone to ring...

Hey girl.

I'm a weak bastard.

Can't hear you.

Where are you?

Photo shoot.

What's up?

What're you doing tonight?

Nothing planned.

It's too noisy.

I'll call you later?

You need to get a new line,

you always say that, but you never call.

No I don't. I'll call, promise.

Don't make me wait all day.

I won't.

Hey, who was that girl with you the other day?

Which one?

Oh, her? She was just a friend.

Yeah?

I thought some rich girl got her hooks into you.

Call you later.

This game isn't over.

She wants me big time.

I'm finally back on track.

Thank you.

Remember the script girl?

This is my new girlfriend, Liu Na.

Hi everyone.

These are my best friends.

Thanks brother, you were right about her.

What are you fools doing here?

Just about to ask you the same.

Checking out the scenery bro.

She's coming.

The dream lover cometh?

What about me?

Oh yeah.

I said using me was a stupid idea.

I already told her you're just a friend.

Can I get your autograph?

- Thanks. - Sure.

Where's Quan?

He and I don't go to the toilet together.

You guys were pretty good.

Give us a call sometime, we can jam.

Sign one for my little sister?

Thanks.

Take it easy.

Let me introduce everyone.

This is Liu Rong.

Things were going well. Everyone liked her,

and she liked my friends.

And for a moment, it felt like she was mine.

You guys hang, we're going down.

Do you like it? Just bought it today.

I really like black.

Yeah, it looks great.

I love black too.

Hold on. I'm getting a Bud. You?

Sure. I'll have a Bud too.

You hate Budweiser, you drink Heineken.

Nice car, is it yours?

No.

Come on. Let's party downstairs.

You guys going too?

How come as soon as I come, they all leave?

You wearing fake perfume?

How'd you know?

There's something I want to say...

- Oh, wait a sec.

A present for the big writer.

It's really nice. Thanks!

Just wanted to apologize for that day,

it had nothing to do with you.

Which day? Forget about it.

This is where I say: I love you Rong.

I want to be with you.

I need to wake up early tomorrow.

It's only midnight.

Some other time. Say bye to your friends.

Let's talk tomorrow.

Rong!

Yeah?

You forgot something.

What?

Me.

I like you.

I like you too.

I'm in love with you.

I have been for a long time,

and not because you just gave me a pen.

You've given me something more valuable.

Wen, we're friends.

Exactly! Because we're friends I want to take it to the next level.

We have to hate each other to be in love?

You're everything I've ever wanted in a girl...

You could be taller, but I still want to be with you.

I'm only going to be gone for a night.

I'll see you tomorrow.

That's it? Did I miss something?

Maybe she's got a boyfriend.

Yeah, some sugar-daddy.

Maybe she just doesn't like you.

You win some, you lose some.

Shit, you guys still talking about this?

Wen Zi, if it's meant to be, it'll be.

What is this? You all watch the same cheesy soap opera?

Even the lines are the same.

I'm fine.

You all seem more concerned than me...

Since when did this become the topic of choice?

Since we realized your IQ is equal to

the number of times Haitao's gotten laid.

Wow, he's pretty smart.

Let's go. You okay?

I'll take you home.

You didn't have to an ass-kisser with her.

Don't start changing for some girl.

It's not worth it.

Sir. Please pay the bill.

Grab a cab and wait for me.

If you ever see that chick again...

Last chance buddy...

Next time you're with her, just get it on, man.

First chance you get, alright?

Yours to lose.

You okay?

Yes.

Why don't you go for Jing?

She's cute.

You kidding? No way. She's my pal.

Known her forever, practically a sister.

You drunk?

Probably.

I'm going home with this honey now.

In your dreams. Not like this you're not.

Drop me off at my place!

Win some, lose some, right?

Well, I must have won Rong back.

The strangest thing... She suddenly invited me to go to her place.

Maybe she finally came to her senses.

You sure this is your house?

Come in. You can leave your shoes on.

Nice place.

It's okay, huh?

Breast-cream ads pay well,

hook me up with that gig.

Sure.

I'm going to go change.

Have a seat, I'll be out in a moment.

Happy birthday!

I don't know if anything this horrifying has ever happened to anyone else.

This is beyond embarrassment.

At this moment, I want to vanish from the face of the earth.

How does one get out of this situation?

My old man never taught me.

Not another damn word!

I'm not joking, not a word to anyone!

Especially you San!

Don't go telling your stupid TV buddies about this shit.

Man, I...

I mean it.

Why didn't you tell me?

It was a surprise party!

It's no big deal.

That was the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to me!

Oh come on, she had a good laugh too...

It's definitely over now.

To her, I'm just another stupid horny bastard!

We could have finished the cake.

Wen, listen to me...

Hey, it's okay. Call her and apologize, make a joke, then put it behind you.

At least you had your underwear on...

Otherwise, she'd have to go look for a magnifying glass.

She didn't call the next day.

Without Rong, I intend to lead a productive bachelor life.

I'm content.

I remind myself being single has advantages.

I only have one person to please. I can do whatever I want,

hang with the boys and go home anytime.

Don't have to worry about where she is,

no jealous suspicions, no arguments, no mind games.

Without a girl to worry about,

I can get on with my writing career

and not waste time with trivial things.

But other times, I feel lonely.

To make matters worse, it's like the world knows

I'm a loser with no girl,

and decides to rub it in my face.

Because everywhere I look,

there are couples...

hugging and kissing,

making me want to... throw up.

Stage three:

Where you and your girl

are not talking for whatever reason.

Lately, it seems like I've been stuck in this stage.

We haven't talked since my birthday.

Whatever. Forget her if she doesn't like me, her loss.

Looks like you're having a bad time.

Not doing too well.

Just because she saw you in your dirty undies?

It's got nothing to do with that.

I'm just...

I just don't get it. What's wrong with me?

I'm not a bad person. She likes being with me.

She knows I love her.

I'm doing all the right things

and playing along with the rules of the game.

So why doesn't she feel the way I do for her?

Screw the rules and mind games!

Do what's natural and follow your heart.

Love and relationships aren't a science, that's the beauty of it.

Plus, destiny plays a big part I think.

What would you know? You don't even have a face.

That's because I'm a figment of

your stupid imagination!

Hey sonny, end of the line.

That's awesome.

What do you think? Pretty good huh?

Yours is better.

We usually ignore him.

Let's go.

Where?

I promised I'd take you shopping right?

- Now? - Yes.

See you in class.

Is that guy after you?

Yeah, I think so.

You like him?

He's a nice guy.

Doesn't seem like your type.

Yeah? What's my type?

I don't know. Someone with more muscle,

not such a wimp.

It's that new look, young guys these days,

look more girly than most women.

Calm down, I'm not marrying the guy!

So just toying with him like all girls do, right?

I'm not Rong!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

Don't get mad.

I'm over Rong.

Whatever. One call and you'll be crawling back to her.

Not me. Don't talk to me about her anymore.

Guess a riddle:

What's long and hard,

after vigorous activity in a dark hole...

- "chewing gum".

Here.

For you honey-bunny.

Life's full of surprises.

She called and suggested we make dinner.

I couldn't refuse.

We're friends.

I like it like this. Us two...

Sitting together. Just sitting.

Yeah, beats just standing.

I hope you know I haven't been ignoring you.

I really have been busy.

I know. Me too.

You're great. Don't think I don't like you.

I do like you.

It's just I want us to be lifelong friends.

I didn't mean...

I just thought...

It's not that I don't...

I want us to remain friends, and when two people...

and when two people...

We are friends.

Truth is, I tried telling myself to forget you.

But I can't.

You turned my world upside down.

It took me a while to realize,

some people are worth it.

No matter what.

My dream girl finally stepped out of my dreams.

Life couldn't be much better.

Just checking to see if he read it or not?

No problem. My phone's always on.

Nice weather today.

How's business?

I spent the whole day looking for the perfect gift.

I know she'll like it.

It's what she's always wanted.

Thanks.

Wen?

Wait.

This is for you. Hope you like it.

Wait, we need to talk.

I misunderstood our relationship.

It's okay, don't worry.

I want to tell you that...

- I'm so stupid!

Looks like we're looking for different things in life.

I forgot, I'm not a rich guy.

Damn you Wen!

You have no right. You and I are just friends.

I just want to be happy in life. It's hard enough as it is.

What's so wrong with that?

You're right. Absolutely right.

There's no other purpose in life. None. Right?

Good. Hope you're 'happy' with him.

Is everything okay? What did he want?

I don't know him well.

I just want to be happy.

Don't think of me.

She's not that type.

I hope you make it.

Want a piece of it?

Of course.

Never said that about other girls.

I'm not most girls.

You expect an angel?

Tell you a secret.

Oh come on!

Fame and money.

So materialistic.

Wow big business.

Don't think I don't like you, I do.

My dream girl.

Maybe she has a boyfriend.

Your dream girl.

Win some, lose some.

Sugar daddy.

Maybe she just doesn't like you.

We should just... kick that guy's ass!

Asshole, so what if he drives a Benz?

Get a big pipe and beat him up.

Then puncture his tires, then kick the doors.

Want help? I'll round up a few guys.

How old are we again?

Get me a beer.

My foot's numb.

Chicks are bitches man, bitches.

It's not your fault.

Wrong. Nothing you do is right.

Guys are always wrong, didn't you know that?

That's why I always have backup girlies...

She starts getting bitchy, I drop her like a bad habit.

How come I've never seen you with one?

He's saying you. No, you.

Hey gramps, you heading out to meet some babes?

Come again?

The neighborhood council gave me a task...

To promote family planning.

They want me to distribute these... Condoms.

Grandpa,

can't you wait until they leave?

Why do you have to bust it out every time my buddies come over?

So what?

Gramps, I'll do it for you.

No need.

Hey, save me a few!

A few?

When you're married, I'll give you the whole box!

Deal.

As we continued our intellectual discussion,

I decided to screw it all and live free.

What about love? It was on probation.

I was on a rampage.

I didn't have time to be depressed.

Sometimes we'd take Jing.

Because girls notice guys who are with a girl.

My success rate was questionable.

But in my defense,

times have changed.

Girls these days are different...

...their style has changed...

...their behavior has changed.

I didn't think I'd get bored so quickly.

Clubs are stupid if you think about it.

They are...

If you turned all the lights on,

and stopped the music,

what kind of a place would that be?

I just bought a brand new car.

Want a ride?

What about them?

I already have a wife,

but I think you're perfect.

But you need to buy me a house...

...and a car.

Even the "master" has his day.

Hey, I know that girl.

Don't drink anymore, you'll get drunk.

Too late.

What's wrong?

She was supposed to be the different one,

Why did she lie to me?

We were good together.

Hey. Don't do this.

She's not worth the heartache!

Sleep tight.

Rong.

Look, I read it, but it's not my decision.

I rewrote it again, please? Come on!

Sorry to keep you waiting.

That's great.

I hope you guys make it.

What if your book never gets published?

I'll find something else to do.

Don't let your state of mind confuse you.

How do you and Lin do it?

I don't know.

I don't have the answer.

Just take it one day at a time.

Maybe she and I are destined to be together.

I was hoping for Nicole Kidman,

but seems like Lin's my lot in life.

The proposal's upstairs, go get it.

I don't have big business aspirations.

Where's your emblem?

Someone stole it.

This bastard's done this before.

Go get the cement glue.

It's in Jing's room somewhere.

Ask Lin to help you find it.

Don't forget the proposal.

Did you see the proposal?

Hey, take your shoes off!

Where's the glue?

You finally found it.

No, where is it?

In the kitchen.

Then why did you ask me if I found it...

Like you didn't know?

I meant her tin box.

This, oh yeah.

What is all this?

I gave her this last year I think.

She's kept every piece of junk

you've given her since high school.

No way.

Damn, this panda's five years old.

You are so clueless.

Don't you start...

Who knows why,

but she's had a crush on you all these years.

Oh please,

I think I know her better than you.

Really? What do you know?

Who do you think organized your birthday?

Jing was busy organizing it for days.

She could have held it anywhere,

but she knew you'd want to be with Rong, so she held it at her house.

Didn't know that, did you?

Would you have done that for her?

She just thinks of me like an older brother.

Nothing else.

None of us expected it.

I never thought San would be the first to marry.

All that talk about chicks being "bitches"...

He didn't even consult us, just announced it.

Who's next, you two?

Yeah right.

I almost got married to this girl.

Who? What happened?

She transferred to a different junior high.

I missed out on a special girl once.

Sometimes what you want most in life

is right by you the whole time,

and you don't even know it...

- Until it's too late.

I know how that is.

What the hell do you know?

Who? Which girl?

You think that's why San got married suddenly?

Marriage is a big step,

these days you have to pick carefully.

You make it sound like a shopping trip.

When are you getting a boyfriend?

Hurry before you get old and no one wants you...

Like that one over there.

Don't expect me to take you if no one else does.

Come on, it was a joke!

I was just playing.

Stop it.

Real nice.

What's it to you.

What's your problem Wen Zi?

Wen Zi. Open up. Wen Zi. Open up.

I'm coming.

Good morning.

Come in.

Thanks.

Not mad at me?

Says who?

You look handsome today.

Not going to brush your teeth? Nice.

What did the new publishers say?

Like the others, make more changes and shit.

Did you?

Not in the fucking mood.

Can you swear a little more?

It's not like you're educated or anything.

Also, cut down on the smoking.

Don't change the book if you don't want to,

but finish writing already!

What are you waiting for?

All you do is talk.

Either hurry up and live or hurry up and die.

What's in there?

Check out my masterpiece.

A friend down south runs a top design company.

I should introduce you.

I'm sure he'll hire you.

Thanks bro.

It's a genuine collector's item.

Why's it still here?

We're waiting for a true fan to buy it.

Whatever,

last time it was half the price.

Thanks Mr. Su. Call me next time you're in town.

Good news.

My friend loves your work.

He wants you to call him if you're interested.

Thanks.

For what?

You think I should go?

Why not?

I'm on a roll here.

They say swimming helps you lose weight.

If so, then why the hell are whales so fat?

That's true.

What kind of tea do you want?

Anything but a golf tee.

The underwear is still here?

Long time no see.

Yeah.

Hi.

I've been busy.

You?

So-so.

I wanted to talk with you.

About what?

Go ahead...

Want some tea?

No thanks.

I'll just go, look at the ants, outside.

I saw a big billboard of you.

Yeah?

Pretty stupid huh?

It's okay.

How come you disappeared?

I've been here all along.

Missed you.

You can't do this to me.

You just walk in here and...

What reaction do you expect...

Am I suppose to just...

I sound like a girl.

What do you want Rong?

Da Ming and I broke up.

I know you must hate me now,

and I've only just worked up the courage...

But I hope you can forget the past,

and give us the chance to be friends again.

I know... I realize that...

Rong. I don't hate you.

I forgave you long ago.

But I'm not the back up.

I don't mean...

I just hope we can be friends like before...

After that, lan left a few days later.

He said his visa expired.

But Haitao said lan was getting his MBA in the US.

Haitao didn't waste any time.

He began putting his 4th band together.

Practicing daily for a change.

San and his new bride left for Mongolia

to film a 100-episode documentary.

I guess that was their honeymoon.

Liang's new company was formed

and he set off looking for new business conquests.

He left the shop to me.

I heard from someone that Sun Zi got busted for DVD piracy.

I don't think I'll be seeing the money he owes me.

I can't recall the last time I opened this early.

If only Liang were here to see me now.

How much is this?

100... oh that one? That's 80.

Any cheaper?

70 is my best price.

Let me get you a bag.

Thanks for coming.

Where'd it go?

Took it down.

The joke got out of hand.

It's not really Chow Yun-Fat's underwear.

See you.

Why don't you stay in Beijing?

Is there a good reason to stay?

I need an assistant?

This is dog shit.

But if I add a spaceship,

then you think it's cool?

Yes.

Kids love that stuff.

Well I'm not going to.

I made all the changes you suggested,

but you still don't like it.

I wrote this story, not you.

Not everyone likes the same things.

Sorry, but I'm late.

Jing!

I thought you forgot.

I promised I'd send you off.

How long are you planning to be there?

Don't know.

We'll see how the job goes.

Yeah? You be careful there.

Hey, what did they say?

Same as the rest.

Said my book was dog shit.

Literally said it.

I've seriously been wondering,

maybe it's time to change careers.

Forget them, I still like your writing.

My only fan for all these years.

Don't give up, Wen.

You have talent and you know it.

Hope your books will be in stores soon.

But, I think you're worth more than those scary stories.

You should write something real, something from your heart.

You've always been there for me.

I've gotten so used to you.

It's going to be strange without you around.

Hey, how come after all these years,

we never got together?

You take care of yourself okay?

Don't let those southerners take advantage of you.

Any problems, you call me.

I'll fly down and kick their ass.

Hey, what's wrong? Come on.

Come on now.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you too.

I promise to call often,

we can still joke around on the phone.

I turned your jacket into a towel.

Go ahead, wipe away.

I have to go.

Trains don't wait for people.

Trains go away, but don't they end up coming back?

Take care.

Don't eat the train food, trust me.

Jing! Wait!

One more time?

Nice one!

There's no such thing as "the dream girl".

But even if she exists,

maybe what we long for in our dreams

isn't necessarily what's right for us.

I'm sure there's someone out there who's right for me.

When I think of what happened with Rong and me...

Two things remain unclear:

What she did in her free time is a mystery;

why she came over that night is a mystery.

If life were a fairy tale,

I'd have a perfect ending.

But this is life.

What do I expect?

The next person who walks in will be "the one"?

Xiao Mi? Hurry up!

There's nothing in that junk shop.

I'm coming! You're so annoying!

Just as I thought.

At this point in my life,

I don't presume to have figured out

the secrets of love and relationships.

Frankly I don't think anyone has.

There is no formula for success.

Time, is what I have.

Maybe as I get older, I'll get better at it.

But one thing's for certain:

Either hurry up and live

or hurry up and die.

She's right.

"Dedicated to the one that got away" "Waiting Alone by Chen Wen"

Hey kid.

Heard you're selling my underwear here.

Chow Yun-Fat!?