Original subtitles

Days of Darkness

When love takes hold,

The brave grow meek.

And l, once so bold,

And l, once so bold,

Tremble now, so weak.

And l, once so bold,

Tremble now, so weak.

What, you fear

Your timid page,

Who holds you so dear?

Cast away this doubt,

Murderous rage

Murderous rage

Dwells not in my heart.

When love takes hold,

The brave grow meek.

And l, once so bold,

And l, once so bold,

Tremble now, so weak.

And l, once so bold,

Tremble now, so weak.

- Jean Marc!

- Jean Marc!

- Yes! Yes!

- lt's 6:30, you have to drive the girls.

Hello, Nicole?

Did l wake you?

Time to get cracking.

- l've been waiting.

The shower's a classic.

You can see my bum,

catch a glimpse of a breast.

Perfect for the American censors.

- No way.

l've three showings before 1 1 ...

My only opening's at 3.

l can't be everywhere.

You know that.

- The epidemic has killed 4500 people in Western Canada.

Here in Quebec, clostridium difficile bacteria

has spread to more hospitals.

825 people have died, most of them in Mont�r�gie.

Hospitals are closed to visitors.

- Megan, Coralie! We leave in 5!

- This year 38,000 Quebecers will learn

they have cancer. Half will die.

- Not that, please!

He's so cool!

- What's happening in school?

- The incident occurred in the subway.

An 85-year-old woman

was attacked by a 15-year-old.

She's still in intensive care.

Police refuse to comment

on possible links to last week's attack

where a woman was shoved onto the tracks by a street gang.

QUEST FOR THE GRAlL

- What do you want, asshole?

- France's Goncourt prize is awarded

unanimously to Quebec writer Jean Marc Leblanc

for his novel, A Man of No lnterest.

- An unknown, your first novel...

lt's unbelievable!

- At 44 l found myself

in this mortgaged house, living a life that's banal,

anonymous,

of no interest. l wanted to reflect on

my life, the mistakes l'd made.

What had l possibly done

to end up here?

- Me, it's writers. l'm crazy about them.

lntelligence turns me on. l'm helpless.

Take me now.

Hard! No holding back!

ln front of everyone.

Take me hard!

- For the Justice Department, turn right at the hall behind me.

Continue to the orange atrium,

take the Block G elevator, exit the 300 level,

turn left at the processing station.

- Sir!

l work in CRSQ, l'm late.

- Welcome to Quebec's administrative headquarters...

FALLlNG CONCRETE

- Health and Social Solidarity has lifted its face mask requirement.

Your government cares.

- Welcome to Citizen's Rights. Our agents are listening.

- Commuter train late again? - Yes.

- Cherubin's processed 5 cases.

- Cherubin slaves like a Negro.

Hard for him to do otherwise.

- Excuse me.

- Please sit.

- Five years ago l married a younger woman.

Our marriage was hell.

She asked for a divorce.

We've nothing in common.

- Why'd you marry her?

- An incredible sexual attraction.

Otherwise, God knows.

- l don't know why l married my wife either

or why l'm still with her.

- She told the police l'd threatened her physically.

The judge gave her the house,

everything.

l get one supervised visit a month with my girls.

- Are they happy to see you?

- Of course.

- Enjoy it while it lasts.

l could die and my teenagers wouldn't notice.

- l'm a professor, but l'm on sick leave.

l spent everything on lawyers.

l'm homeless.

Am l eligible

for public housing of some kind?

- Citizen's Rights is provincial, public housing is municipal.

- Of course, l should've known.

- Ask at the SHDM, behind the CDP.

- l'm sorry.

- That's ok, it's my job.

- l'm sleepy.

- Too much clubbing!

- My girlfriend won't let me sleep.

At 5 a.m. she had her hands in my PJs.

- My wife never woke me, except by snoring.

- She never woke you to make love?

- Never.

- You?

- l haven't made love in about a year and a half.

- What do you do?

Affairs? Lovers?

- Not even.

- Nothing? - Nothing.

- You'll get prostate cancer.

- l have a backyard shed

where l keep kleenex, porn mags. So l'm set.

- You can't keep...

(dog barking)

- You were smoking?

Smoking is illegal within a mile of government offices.

One day the anti-tobacco patrol will nab you.

And you'll be fired, pal!

Let go of me!

Jean Marc! Stop!

Security!

Help!

Jean Marc...

Get off me!

- Madame Bigras-Bourque,

you have taxed my patience.

- Wait till you appear before the Women's Rights Board!

- Silence her.

Alas, Carole, l've no choice but to discipline you.

l know just the man to do it.

Prince Ouadabongo is a cruel and lusty monarch.

His pleasure is defiling white women.

- Ravishing creature.

(Prince Ouadabongo laughing)

- Take no offense if my indiscrete zeal

your dark secret seeks to reveal.

- Spare this unhappy prince greater woe.

Come, madame, let us prepare to go.

(Carole): No! Not that!

- lt was huge! Awesome!

- Thank you.

- Such intensity! Such power!

l can't resist a great actor.

That's me. l'm helpless.

Take me! Here and now!

Right here! Hard! Take me hard!

(sustained applause)

- Are you listening, sir?

- Sorry. l was concentrating. Go on.

- l was reaching for the last volume

of the revised statutes of 1948.

The ladder toppled, l did too.

My head hit the back of Judge M�nard's armchair.

l nearly crushed Judge M�nard himself.

He let me go to hospital.

Such a kind man.

l took my car,

stopped at a red light,

this Chinese man rammed me hard

from behind with his Jeep.

The lnsurance Board refuses to pay.

They say it was a work-related accident.

The Work Benefits Agency

says it was a car accident.

l was hoping for a quick settlement.

But the best-laid plans often go ashore...

- Do you have any savings?

- Not much.

- This conflict involves 2 government agencies.

Getting them to communicate takes forever.

- How long?

- The last review took 2 1/2 years.

- 2 1/2 years? - For the review.

The settlement took 5.

- 5 years?

- The ice cap at the North Pole

has shrunk 20% over the last 15 years.

The rising Arctic Ocean may force

several native communities to relocate...

The melting ice also threatens...

- Good evening, Mom.

Feeling ok?

l told them to sit you up as often as possible.

l hope you had a good week.

Me, the usual, same old thing.

Really?

l see.

Fall's coming.

l find dead leaves on my car in the morning.

- Sorry, the law is clear.

lf there's been a suicide, the buyer must be informed.

Suicide is like a building defect.

Like asbestos insulation.

Sorry to remind you, but your wife hung herself.

Everybody knows. You have to declare it.

l'll hold, go ahead.

Don't worry, l can wait.

- l'm worried about Mom.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Yes, Mr Bergeron.

Generally, the price is reduced by $15 to $20,000.

But the numbers change quickly.

People are getting used to it.

Society has evolved.

ln my area there's easily a suicide a year, so...

- Hello, darling.

- Hello, my love.

- How's your mother?

- Not good.

She's totally unresponsive.

- lt must be hard on you.

- She's the last person l have left, the last link.

No brothers or sisters, Father's dead. l'm all alone.

- l'm here.

- Luckily, or l don't know what l'd do.

And you?

- Me, you know...

lt's always the same.

Managers, journalists, photographers...

Parasites.

That's how it is.

lt's so great to have someone like you in my life.

- Have a seat. - Thank you.

- You know why you're here?

- No.

- You've no idea? - None.

As your supervisor

and manager of personnel redeployment

for administrative unit 02,

l must ask you if, during your work as a government employee,

in referring to William Cherubin,

you used the word Negro?

- Never.

- l heard it clearly.

- You contradict Ms Bigras-Bourque?

- As l said, ethnologically and lexically,

it's right to say l am a Negro.

- We're not asking you.

- What l said was that

my friend Cherubin slaves like a Negro.

- See?

- Not to blacken his name,

or to appear niggardly,

but Cherubin's favorite piano piece is

Debussy's The Little Nigger Boy.

His favorite novel, Conrad's Nigger of the Narcissus.

- Mr Leblanc, you know

the word Negro is forbidden in Quebec.

My colleague, Ms P�quet-Plourde

of the Language Board, can expand.

Correct. On 1 1/18/1999,

the Language Board decreed

the word Negro to be a non-word.

The word was eradicated along with

Negress and midget.

They must be replaced by

of equatorial origin and little person.

These decisions were later ratified

by the Language Protection Commission and Language Council.

l have the minutes...

Wasabi!

Unagi!

Kurosawa!

- As union representative, l must

remind you that the Labor Board,

in its ruling of 02/2006,

accepted administrative hypertension, or bureaucratic stress,

as a legally recognized pathology.

This pathology triggered the temporary deviancy

of our colleague, Jean Marc Leblanc.

- l was crossing Henri-Bourassa.

A motorcycle sped toward me, out of control.

l had no time to react.

l was crushed against a lamppost. lt fell over.

l lost both my legs.

The city demands l pay for half the lamppost.

Can you help?

- A municipal bylaw stipulates

that when city property is damaged in an accident,

all parties involved share the costs.

- But l'm the victim!

- The law doesn't distinguish.

- Sir, l lost both my legs.

And l have to pay as well?

- That's how it works, sir.

- Wow it's Super Akimbo.

- l downloaded it. - Cool, can l try?

- Wait, l'm only at level 1 .

- lt's easy, let me.

- Wait!

- Here's a man blessed by life.

A man who makes me extremely jealous.

Veronica calls him the man of her dreams...

Please welcome Jean Marc Leblanc!

l'm told that

in the boondocks where you live

you dreamed of being on our show.

Pure hype? No, it's true.

- lt's been my dream.

- Well, sorry, but the show no longer exists.

- That's impossible.

- lt is possible. - lt's impossible.

- Right now l'm in Montreal.

This is the Montreal set.

ln Paris, we have hot babes.

ln Canada, we get lumberjacks.

- The bearded guy is cute. - True.

- Look, l live in Canada.

Canada sucks. l want you in Paris.

- ln Paris they axed my show.

- l don't understand.

Where am l? Who am l?

- You'll know in the next scene.

- Some people in Paris cancelled my show.

- That's no excuse. There are idiots everywhere.

Canadian cultural bureaucrats are incredible idiots.

l can give examples!

- Our idiots are worse idiots than yours.

- ln France we even have assholes.

- For years l've dreamed of being on this show.

lt can't be canned!

- Yes. - No!

- Yes, yes. - No!

- What's wrong?

- Why?

- You keep twitching.

- l have a stiff neck.

- l'm calling to explain.

The family was eating supper.

Five masked men broke in.

They tortured the man, raped his wife.

They found nothing and left. The family moved out that night.

They're traumatized and want to sell ASAP.

The police think it was a street gang.

Let's say they had a recognizable accent.

lt's an isolated incident,

the first home invasion in my area.

Normally it's very safe.

Metal gates and guards like in the US would help...

Unfortunately we don't have that yet.

- l'm a high-school science teacher

at Louis-Joliette High, near here.

l have a Cambodian student, Samnang,

who controls heroin trafficking in the school.

- Heroin in high school?

- More and more.

- Samnang is hardly ever in class.

Last month l gave him a mark of 15% .

He waited for me after school

and told me to change it to 75%

or he'd kill me.

- He said that? ''l'll kill you.''

- Exactly.

- The following Friday after school,

police cars were everywhere.

They arrested Samnang, who had an automatic rifle.

He was there to shoot me.

To be a gang leader, he has to kill someone.

He has no police record, so they released him.

He's back in school.

They won't expel him. lt's a public school.

Samnang's gang knows where l live.

They shoot BBs at my windows.

They've slashed the tires of my car three times.

The police warned me,

because the same gang

massacred the family of a Vietnamese restaurant owner

on the South Shore.

They...

They nailed a live baby

to the wall.

l can't go on.

l can't.

- The couple's been unlucky.

He was an engineer with a supplier for GM.

She was an exec at Mirabel Airport.

The airport closed, she was transferred to Dorval,

at a much lower salary.

GM was facing bankruptcy.

Production moved to Michigan.

His company lost its contract.

He was fired. He's 50 and unemployable.

They have a $425,000 mortgage and interest rates are rising.

They're highly motivated sellers.

Yes. The problem is he had a breakdown.

He sits in a hospital room with closed blinds, crying non-stop.

71 LAKES CONTAMlNATED

l'll find his wife and call you.

You ok?

- Fine.

Can we talk? - l've emergencies at work.

Yes, Nicole.

Rats?

What do you mean, rats?

Rats in a new house?

At least say you're proud of me.

- l'm very proud. - l know what you think.

- l don't think anything.

- Hello!

- You're stunning. - Thanks.

Are you just going to stand there?

(mixed voices)

- You've been unanimously elected party leader.

Are you up to it?

- The men and women who voted for me

chose someone who's long dreamed of this, and who represents,

l sincerely believe, youth, dynamism, new ideas

and a brighter future. Thank you.

- Politics is the only thing.

Power turns me on.

l can't resist a party leader. l'm helpless.

Take me here.

Standing up, like this.

Right now.

Very hard.

Now. Take me hard.

Go on, my friend.

That's it, very good.

- Pull up your chair.

- Now, in the suburban category...

For the third consecutive year, the winner

of the President's Trophy

with an extraordinary sales volume

of $7,545,000,

our champion,

Sylvie Cormier-Leblanc!

- Yes.

- Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you.

This is so unexpected.

Many people to thank.

First of all l'd like to thank

this marvellous, marvellous man who shares my life,

this wonderful human being.

Jean Marc, darling, this one's for you too.

- You... there!

You have an extraordinary wife.

l tell everyone, she's my idol.

- l see.

- No, l mean, she's so dynamic,

always so positive.

Her sales volume is incredible.

She's a mother,

a saleswoman, a wife.

You must be so proud.

l'm like...

- Very proud, yeah.

- Citizen's Rights are closed till 9:30.

- My mother's very sick, so she needs help. She can't wait.

- l understand, but they're in a group motivation session.

- l'm telling you, my mother's sick.

- You wouldn't want demotivated agents.

- We say the answer to all that is... What?

Laughter!

For us at Humor-Quebec,

laughter is almost a religion.

Why laugh?

Our answer is: Because!

Because to survive in today's world,

the modern person must be festive.

What does festive mean?

Festive means a party,

a carnival, festivals.

l can hear you say, ''How can l laugh?

''l'm stressed, depressed.''

''l have no desire to laugh.''

And we say: No problem!

No problem, we can learn to laugh.

At Humor-Quebec, our technique -

which is internationally recognized

around the world -

is based on vowels.

Today, together, we'll start with A.

The explosive A.

Give it a try!

Very good.

Now let's try the cascading A.

Shut your eyes

and you'll see the cascade...

gently falling.

Together...

Bravo!

We feel better already.

- lt's ok, Mom. lt's ok.

lt's ok, sit down.

The nurses are coming.

Just calm down.

Shhh...

Shhh...

- There's good news and bad news, Mr...

Mr Leblanc.

Bad news: lt's cancer. Good news: lt's operable.

We'll saw open your rib cage.

But the recovery is very unpleasant.

After that, chemo, hair loss, vomiting.

lt's pretty vile.

Then you'll get 2 or 3 months remission.

Enjoy, because then we'll probably find brain tumors.

We'll open your skull, remove them, do radiation therapy...

All extremely painful, of course.

Despite that, the cancer will continue metastasizing

in your bones, spine, pelvis.

Morphine will then be ineffective,

and the pain excruciating.

We'll test new drugs on you.

that are extremely costly.

They'll prove useless.

You'll lose control of your sphincter

and wear diapers and soak in your shit all day.

You'll be disgusting.

Finally, in a year or two, you'll die like a dog.

- How wonderful!

- That's the way it goes.

You drew the wrong number. That's life.

- My sisters,

my brother,

we are here

to accompany on his final journey

our friend,

loved by all,

Jean Guy.

Jean Marc!

Exactly.

Jean Marc, as l said. What else can we say

about Jean Marc?

That he was,

first and foremost,

a man.

We could say that.

A citizen,

a husband,

a father.

We could say so much about Jean Marc.

My God...

Nicole, l can't talk. l'm at my husband's funeral.

l'll call back...

in 10 minutes?

20 minutes.

Sailing on our Father's boat,

Our friend has disappeared.

He's gone but is afloat,

Leaving memories so dear.

The man we still cherish

Now sings like a dove.

For us he'll never perish

- Coming to the cremation?

- Sorry, l'm too busy.

- We keep the ashes a month.

After that, we compost them.

- Wonderful.

Got to go. Thanks!

- A pleasure.

- Now's a good time.

- Bye, Mom.

See you next week.

- What's going on?

- What do you mean?

- Where you going?

- Toronto.

- Toronto?

- l told you. - You didn't say anything.

- Oh please!

- Why Toronto?

- To study. - Study what?

- To become a realtor.

- You already are.

- Affiliated. l want my own franchise.

To open my own office.

- Can't you study here?

- Not in English. Mr McKenna found an opening.

- Who's McKenna? - The company CEO.

He presented my award. You were there.

What's with you? Already senile?

- And our girls? - l gave them 15 years of my life.

lt's your turn. - You gave nothing!

- l'm a very good mother.

l'm home every night.

l've canceled more business lunches than you'd know.

- When'd you last cook?

- l cook every day.

- Not fish sticks,

a home-cooked meal.

- lf it's a housewife...

- Not every night, just once a year! Christ!

- Sorry, l work too hard.

- Working too hard's not an excuse.

lt's dumb and stupid.

- Fuck off!

- Screw you!

Screw you!

- Has the bitch left?

- Yes.

- Good!

Come kiss me now.

What's wrong?

You kept saying you wanted to change your life.

- Yes.

- Now's your chance.

- Hi.

- How's our man?

- He already misses his wife.

- What is it? Feeling sad?

- l'm distraught. lt's normal, l guess.

- Here she is. - Thanks.

- See you tomorrow.

Here.

- Hello, Ms Bigras-Bourque.

- Call me Carole.

- Have fun.

- What do l do?

- Whatever you want, she's yours.

- Yes, but what? - What a wuss!

Carole,

prepare the hors d'oeuvres.

Don't ask questions!

Obey!

- Thank you, l deserved it.

- Hello.

- Thank you. Goodbye.

- Excuse me, please.

- This is the boondocks! My driver got lost 3 times.

- Thanks, you're so kind. l wanted to ask,

what's Brad Pitt like?

- Very sweet.

- Even my husband knows...

l'm obsessed with Brad Pitt.

The first time l saw him, it was...

... a revelation.

Two actresses are in a h�tel room, then he comes in.

He's the best actor of his g�n�ration.

- What are you whining about now?

- l spent 15 years with her, so...

- For 15 years you told us you wanted to leave her.

Didn't you?

- Always the same sad song.

- But she left me!

- So, what's the difference?

- A large part of my life is gone.

- You said you couldn't stand your life.

- Maybe he lied to us.

- Or he needs her so he can complain.

- Or he really is a man of no interest.

- l'm disgusted. l'm always the fantasy of losers.

lt's true, l mean, really.

Can't l be Tiger Woods or Roger Federer's fantasy?

But no...

Here l am in the bloody Canadian kitchen

of a sobbing civil servant dumped by his wife.

l swear, it's demeaning.

lt's so demeaning!

The champagne's not open?

- Sorry, l didn't have time.

- Bad girl!

- Yes, l know. l'm sorry.

- What the hell are you doing in there?

- Jean Marc, come out!

- What are you doing?

- Come here, my boy!

Come make love to your star.

- Not that l don't want to...

- Stars are so intimidating.

Perfection is paralyzing.

Take someone more accessible.

- For sure, but right now...

- l'm lesbian, so l've never been properly laid.

What real man wouldn't want to set me straight?

- lt's beyond me. l can't...

- l'm your immediate superior.

Think of the pleasure of making me obey.

Go on, master. Show me how firm and unyielding you are.

lt's all wrong!

l can't!

l can't do it.

l'm sorry.

- Girls, we have to talk.

l said we have to talk!

- Cool it. - You hurt me!

- Sorry, but we have to talk.

- What about?

- Your mom has gone to Toronto. - We know.

- She won't be here. - So?

- Life will be different.

- Not a problem. - lt's cool.

- Maybe it's a trial separation.

- All my friends' parents are separated.

- l'm the last one in my class.

- Are you seeing anyone? - Not at all.

- Stay away from bitches, ok?

- They're closed for the feng shui recalibration.

- They're fencing?

- They're doing feng shui. lt's Chinese.

Ms Sigouin-Wong is evaluating all government offices.

You have to wait.

- Feel it?

Do you feel the vibration?

- We can really feel it, huh?

- lt's the vibration that helps you

reconnect with your yang.

Your ying too,

but not as much. Less the ying.

Right here,

you need an aquarium. A big aquarium.

Absolutely. l'd say from here...

to here.

- ls that necessary? - lt's essential!

Everything's oriented northward.

lt's a disaster.

- That's how it's built.

- Yes, but vibrational energy comes from the north.

The only effective barrier is water, you see.

- A big aquarium is expensive.

- There's a $76 million redecorating fund.

Here...

you'll need some big bowls filled with crystals

to stop the radiant energy from escaping through the roof.

- We have to find you a woman.

Living this way is unhealthy.

You'll catch cancer.

- You're obsessed with cancer.

- The male genitals are programmed to ejaculate every 3 days

from puberty to �ge 85.

lt's nature's law.

lgnore that,

you get prostate cancer.

Half of all men in Canada.

- l never heard that.

- 20 years of marriage is to the prostate

what 2 packs a day are to lungs.

- Any scientific proof?

- Statistically, Japanese and Korean men

are the most active sexually.

They have the lowest rate of prostate cancer.

Our genius doctors claim it's because they eat sushi.

- lt was 5 a.m.

They burst in.

They handcuffed my husband.

They didn't let him get dressed.

- Which police force was it?

- They were plainclothes.

l went to my local police station.

l went to the municipal police, the provincial police...

the what's it called... the Department of Justice.

No one knows anything. No one talks.

- Since the 9/1 1 attacks,

Security Services can hold suspected terrorists indefinitely.

- He's not a terrorist.

- He's an Arab. - He's a cook!

- A German cook wouldn't have this problem.

- l don't know what he's accused of.

- You never will. - They have no proof!

- They don't need any. Just a judge's signature.

- Whatjudge would agree to that?

- Judges are named by the party in power, so...

- lt's absurd!

- lf it's any consolation, Australian law is worse.

- What will happen to him?

- ln Toronto they kept a man in isolation for 4 years.

- 4 years?

- Or the ClA might have him tortured in Poland or Romania.

- We have to stop that! We have to fight!

- You don't know any movie or rock stars?

- l'm an immigrant.

- Celebrities have managed to free a few.

Secret services hate publicity.

You could always try that.

- You have 5 minutes to decide

if you want to see the person across from you again.

lf it's yes, mark it on your evaluation form.

lf the same person also rates you a Yes,

it's a perfect match

and we announce it afterwards in the ballroom.

Ready?

Here we go!

- Hello. l'm Guylaine.

- Jean Marc.

- l want children, Jean Marc.

- l had a vasectomy, Guylaine.

What do we do? Wait?

- That's right.

- You put me with old ones. l said l want young ones!

- Mr Galluccio, you're with women your �ge.

- l don't want them.

l want a young mistress!

- Please.

- Cafes in ltaly are full of old men

with pretty girls.

They give them jewels, furs...

- This is Canada. Here old men sleep with old women.

- And they need Viagra. l don't want Viagra!

l want one like her!

Come to Capri with me!

l'll buy you diamonds. l've been saving all my life...

Wait!

- l'm Lynne. - Jean Marc.

- You don't train, do you?

Work out.

- No.

- l Stair-Master 45 minutes a day.

- l see.

- l like my men massive.

- ln that case...

- How much do you make?

- $68,000.

- l won't go under $100,000.

l think l'm worth it.

- Yes, l'm sure.

- What do you drive?

- A Hyundai.

- Korean?

- Yes.

- An economy car?

- Yes, very economical.

- Wonderful.

- My wife left, l'm a civil servant, l drive a Hyundai.

My life's a disaster.

- Are you a man of heart?

- Of heart?

- l work in an office, but l'm also Countess B�atrice de Savoie.

My husband, the Count, died in the First Crusade.

- Really?

- He was struck down by a Saracen arrow at Antioch.

l can't reign alone.

l need an exceptional man.

- Lynne! l want Lynne!

l want to skewer her!

- ln the last group, we have nine perfect matches!

We have Cathy and Sasha,

Lynne and William. - Yes.

B�atrice and Jean Marc.

- What do we do now?

- We're going upstairs. l rented a room in the h�tel.

- l see, l see. That's great.

- lsn't it a little hasty?

- What's your problem, sister?

- Well, l think that the body is a temple.

Souls should meet first.

- Ouch!

- You believe in souls?

- They make us human.

- Come over here.

What do you see?

- The St Dorothy Cemetery.

- Exactly.

Thousands of frozen skeletons.

lf one came back to life for a night,

how do you think they would want to spend it?

Go to the office? Or the bank?

Watch TV?

Reread lmmanuel Kant?

They would be desperate to make love till dawn.

That's what we long for once gone.

We're still alive.

Good night.

- See you Monday. - See you, William.

Well...

Well, maybe...

Shall we go for coffee?

- Coffee makes me nervous. l'd prefer herbal tea.

- Good idea.

The Book of Disquiet

- l found out there are 2 types of hemorrhoids,

external and internal hemorrhoids.

l had no clue.

But as of now,

l'm in an anus control group.

So all's well.

- Hello.

Come in.

Your costume's there, put it on.

- Right now? - Yes.

Behind the screen.

- Your place is unusual. Very original.

- lt's all from Lord of the Rings.

l saw it 60 times.

- That's a lot.

lt's the modern masterpiece.

- Nice suit!

- Hey, Peter Pan!

- The Council decreed that l cannot choose my husband's successor.

- You can't?

- They're holding a tournament.

The bravest knights will fight for my hand.

- lt's very dangerous.

- A tournament?

- The Black Prince is coming.

A terrifying adversary.

A cruel and treacherous man.

- l see.

- Look, Guylaine, l told you from the start.

l want 15 weekends a year to come here. Right?

- You're finally here, Milady.

- Your Grace. - Come along.

- Till tomorrow, page.

- Tomorrow?

What do l do now?

- Commoners must use the postern.

- Look, try to understand.

The hospital, my job, my union, they all make me puke.

TV, radio and papers make me puke.

Even the city of Montreal makes me puke.

No, not you.

My degree of nausea is very, very high.

Do you understand, Guylaine?

The one place l feel good

is here.

- l'm with Countess B�atrice.

- The Countess is at the castle.

- They told me to come here.

- You're not wearing her livery.

- No, l'm not in her livery.

Let's make it simple.

l met the Countess speed-dating in Laval.

- Varlet, make way for the Black Prince!

Just a sec, Prince, l have a problem.

- Are you ok?

- Yeah. - Here you go.

- He's a friend.

- Sorry, l can't let him...

- What?

- No, no. No problem.

- What's your line of work?

- Pharmacist in a hospital. lt's the pits.

- Never has the Occident

faced such a threat.

The godless Arab dares to infiltrate our walls

and cravenly attack

our wives and children.

Their murderous sects roam freely in our cities.

Shall we continue tolerating the Muslims' impudence?

Remember our ancestors...

Godefroy de Bouillon,

Robert de Flandres,

�tienne de Blois,

who, from Constantinople to Jerusalem,

cut the throats of a million infidels!

They were the pride of the Occident!

When, in Jerusalem,

Raymond de Toulouse left the Great Mosque,

victorious, they said that his horse

waded in gore up to its knees.

Let's show those Levantines

that Christians can still defend themselves!

Mount your steeds!

Raise your standards high!

By St Lawrence and St George,

to Jerusalem!

(crowd): To Jerusalem! To Jerusalem!

To Jerusalem! To Jerusalem!

- My friend! Come over.

This is the life!

- To life, dammit!

(in unison): To life, dammit!

- Drink to Thor,

king of the heavens!

- Long live Thor!

- To Thor!

- To Thor!

- Alone?

l scared you?

- No. Well, yes. You startled me.

- Want some company?

- You're awfully nervous.

- With us you'll taste unimaginable pleasures.

- l'm sure.

- There's a price to pay.

- l'm low on cash.

- Who mentioned cash?

- A drop of blood and a signature. For your soul.

- The reward is sublime.

- My soul belongs to the Countess.

- The Countess is promised to a knight.

- l'll try my luck.

- Poor fool.

- You spurn Teratos's daughters?

- l'm truly flattered.

- You defy the spirit of evil? - Beware!

- Sorry.

You're charming, but...

Good night. Till tomorrow.

- Vengeance, sisters!

(together): Vengeance!

- For the hand of the Countess

B�atrice de Savoie,

Kaiser von Eichstadt,

the Margrave of Brandenburg,

Beaudoin de Bruges, Count of Flanders,

Marco da Gente, Lord of Parma,

Fulbert de Mortelune, the Black Prince.

- The Black Prince has triumphed.

He is thus entitled to wed Countess B�atrice.

Does anyone oppose this union?

- Yes!

- Over here! - Him!

- He opposes it! - He wants to fight!

- Wait a minute.

- He swore it. - l did not.

- You swore what? - Nothing.

- His soul is hers. - He wants her to himself.

- He told us! - Not true! l never said that!

- You did! - We heard you!

- Renegade! - Heretic!

- Do you refuse to fight for your sovereign?

- No, but...

- He accepts! - He said yes!

- We heard him.

- Pretend you're hurt. They'll have to stop the fight.

- No way.

For once l'm going to fight!

- The hospital's not far. l'll call an ambulance.

- For the Black Prince.

- Ok, but take off your glasses.

- l can't see.

- Just as well.

- lt's too tight.

- Somebody help me!

- We have a problem.

- What problem?

- That's the back of the horse. He'll gallop that way.

- Don't do anything dumb. Lower your lance!

lt's that way.

Take your sword.

No. That way.

Hit him, for Christ sake!

- That hurts!

- Lord Jesus, have pity on him!

The joust is declared a draw.

The marriage of Countess B�atrice is deferred.

- My page!

My dear page!

My courageous page!

That's enough now. Cease!

- Cease?

- Don't insist.

- l challenged the Black Prince.

- You had your reward.

- That's it?

- That's a lot.

Know how many knights dream of doing that?

l'll belong to the final victor.

- l'm sorry, but this isn't working.

- You must be patient.

Desire is true pleasure.

Troubadours know that.

- Honestly, you can stuff your troubadours.

- What are you looking for? - l found it.

- This can't be the answer.

- lt's the answer for me.

- l hope you'll be happy.

Kevin, get out!

- You look ridiculous! - Go home!

- What's with you?

- l saw you! - So now you're a voyeur?

5 girls in my class are runaways. Bug me and l'm gone!

- l don't know what to do, Mom.

They say it's necessary, but really...

l don't know what to do.

There's no one l can ask. No one.

No one at all.

- l went to Housing Services, as you suggested.

They won't consider that 80% of my salary

goes to my ex.

l earn a comfortable salary

but l live below the poverty line.

Of course, you don't care.

- No, l do care.

- You lead an easy life.

- Me?

Sir, as a student l wrote satirical pieces

for the college newspaper.

l did politics.

l was vice president of the student council.

At university l joined the drama workshop.

l played in 12 Angry Men.

l did photography, video. l was in a rock band.

l demonstrated

against nuclear reactors

and the seal hunt.

l marched for Quebec independence.

l was even arrested once.

Now, my wife has gone to Toronto to get laid by the company CEO.

My daughters give blowjobs to the neighborhood boys.

Every working day of the year

l travel 20 minutes by car,

45 minutes by train

and 25 minutes by subway

to listen to people even more desperate than l am.

l don't call that an easy life.

- At least you're still young.

- See you, my friend!

l've had enough.

Good luck, you delectable dyke!

- Jean Marc...

- Ms Bigras-Bourque, good news...

- Your mother's residence just called.

- You're wasting your time.

lt's pointless.

We have no answers for you.

Your lives are too complicated,

the situation too complex.

- Do you want a religious service?

- No.

- Do you have a family burial plot?

- No.

- Do you want an obituary?

- No.

She had no one left.

- You stupid shit, get out of the way!

My car, goddammit!

Look what you did to my car!

For Christ sake!

- l'll be at work tomorrow.

Hold on, Nicole, l have another call.

Yes, speaking.

How about mid-morning?

Say, 1 1?

Great.

See you tomorrow.

- You're back?

- l didn't like Toronto.

Remember, l own half this house. l can come back when l want.

Get back here!

For once tell me what you hold against me.

l had to get married? l did.

Have kids, get a job? l did.

l have to perform? l do.

l'm the third best suburban realtor in Canada.

From coast to coast.

l'm supposed to relax? l do yoga.

Go on holiday? Cuba every year.

Stay young? l work out 2 hours 3 times a week.

What more do you want? Sex?

You never ask!

l'm warning you, come back now, or not at all.

There's something else...

l hate your arrogance!

As if you're so much smarter,

so much brighter, more profound.

Wake up! Would you call yourself a success?

- You know,

l never thought it could happen.

But l could kill you.

lt's not inconceivable.

- Jean Marc Leblanc,

we no longer see you in Paris or New York.

Rumor has it you've gone into seclusion

to write a book of reflections, philosophy.

- The goal l've set for myself

is to explore a certain kind of wisdom.

l think we can characterize

our times with one word:

disintegration.

This is silly. No network would send you

to film the ramblings of a nobody.

- That's true.

Not even a star could get us here.

- Ever slept with someone you interviewed?

- No, l'm married. l'm happy.

- Well, listen.

lt's been a pleasure.

- Don't mention it.

- Hello.

- This your place?

- lt was my father's.

- Staying long?

- l don't know.

- lt'll be strange having a neighbor.

- Have a good day. - You too.

l feel that our relationship is

suffocating me.

Do you understand?

- Not really.

- You cut me off from my life, that's not good.

- l'm not sure l understand.

You're not happy to see me?

- Not at all, l'm very happy.

- This doesn't add up.

The number of rotten evenings l've spent in your shed,

listening to your interminable whining...

The times l've come in your shower,

even with your wife there!

Not once did l refuse to answer your call!

- That's true.

- Now you want to change, and start by dumping me.

- lt's not like that.

- lt's so unfair!

- l'm sorry.

- l deserved better than that.

- Sir? - Yes.

- Please, shut up.

- Ok. - Thank you.

- Looking for something to do?

- lf you like.

- Feel up to gardening?

- l can try.

- We brought your clothes.

Your books too. Help me, they're heavy.

Those were with your books.

- Strange, no idea whose they are.

- So throw them out.