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1
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,011
Hey, what's up,
little man?
2
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,751
Oh, hi, Mr. Calvin.
3
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:15,058
Me and my dad are about
to do some hoops.
4
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:18,061
I think you mean
"shoot some hoops."
5
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,497
No, he doesn't.
6
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:24,633
Tryouts for the Walcott Academy
Hula-Hoop squad are next week,
7
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:27,636
and Grover's got to
get his game hips on.
8
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,640
Hula-Hoop tryouts?
Mm-hmm.
9
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,815
Don't you just show up
10
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:35,165
and any kid who has asthma
is in?
11
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,993
Actually, it is
very competitive.
12
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,690
It's the second most
popular sport at school,
13
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,518
after Mathletics.
14
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,477
And that one's for nerds.
15
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,176
So, are you telling me
that no one
16
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:50,572
at this little hippie school
of yours plays real sports?
17
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:53,749
How do you tell the cool kids
from the losers?
18
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,143
Oh, Caleb's definitely cool.
19
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,710
He can Hula-Hoop
around his neck.
20
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,975
And his dad won't let
anyone forget it.
21
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:05,587
Okay, listen to me, Dave.
22
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,068
Look, the youth basketball team
I coach
23
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,678
is starting a new season.
24
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,767
Do Grover a favor--
let him join us.
25
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,601
Like, right now.
26
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,518
I don't know. You know,
Grover's never played
27
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,346
organized sports before.
28
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,130
Come on, Dave,
it'll be good for him.
29
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,089
Like... look,
I don't like to brag,
30
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,047
but I'm the best coach in town.
31
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,964
Maybe in all of California.
32
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,576
I guess it would be
good for Grover
33
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:39,664
to learn about
winning and losing.
34
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,405
Not on my team.
35
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,147
No, we've gone undefeated
the last two seasons.
36
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,584
He's gonna have to learn
that losing part from you.
37
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,979
All right, what do you say, bud?
38
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,981
You want to join
Mr. Calvin's basketball team?
39
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,765
Sure. Sounds fun.
40
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:58,030
Great. Practice starts
tomorrow, but for now,
41
00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:00,163
why don't you show me
what you got.
42
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,296
All right, now, come on, buddy.All right.
43
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,211
Show him those Johnson skills.
44
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,257
CALVIN:
Come on. All right.
45
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,478
[grunts]
46
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:15,961
You know what, uh,
let's try it with this one.
47
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,487
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
48
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,836
♪ Welcome to the hood.
49
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,669
Hey, Mom.
50
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,888
Hey. How was
basketball practice?
51
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:32,239
It was great!
Coach Calvin made me
52
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,676
the most important position
on the team.
53
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,417
Really? That's incredible.
54
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,245
What are you, the point guard?
55
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,420
Better.
56
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,161
The equipment manager!
57
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:47,645
What? You can't be
the equipment manager.
58
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,430
That's the job
they give the kids who...
59
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:53,390
Who care the most
about the team.
60
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,437
It's so cool.
61
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,483
I'm in charge of
the basketballs and towels,
62
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:02,704
and no one gets Gatorade
without going through me.
63
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,488
Mm.
64
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,534
Yeah, he might not need
to wear a cup, but...
65
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:09,493
[chuckles] he sure
can fill one.
66
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,627
I'm gonna go practice
handing out orange slices.
67
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:17,458
If only Caleb could see me now.
68
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,243
Yeah, you go get 'em, son!
69
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,073
Kid's got a heart of a champion.
70
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,683
No, what the kid has got is
71
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,250
the most embarrassing job
on the team.
72
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,731
Ugh! Being the equipment manager
is like being
73
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,820
the tree in the school play.
74
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,388
Hey, I was the tree
in the school play.
75
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,392
Don't throw shade
until you've provided it.
76
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,307
Oh, God.
77
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,572
Seriously, how could you
let Calvin do that to him?
78
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,269
Oh, well, Gemma...
[sighs]
79
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,531
he was awful.
80
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,968
I mean, he couldn't shoot,
he couldn't pass,
81
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:53,058
and when he jumped,
I don't know, somehow...
82
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,104
he got lower.
83
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,499
How is that even possible?
84
00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,761
No one knows.
85
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:02,851
♪
86
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,203
Aw, how about this one?
87
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,553
Your old hall monitor vest.
88
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,557
Keep or trash it?
89
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,343
Uh, trash. I don't want
to be one of those guys
90
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,692
that's stuck
in his glory days.
91
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,259
[chuckles]
92
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,218
Whoa, what is
going on in here?
93
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,134
Looks like somebody turned a
nerd upside down and shook him.
94
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,875
[laughs]
95
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:30,008
No, we're just clearing out
a few of Marty's old things.
96
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,706
Your father was complaining
about my stuff
97
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,142
crowding his side of the closet.
98
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,318
Oh, so you're moving
some of your stuff here?
99
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,667
No, his.
100
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,148
And if he complains again,
101
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,628
he's getting moved here, too.
102
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,806
Hey, check it out--
my old snake terrarium.
103
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,199
Oh, yeah,
I remember Slinky.
104
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,245
You thought you would look cool
showing up at parties
105
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,551
with a snake around your neck.
106
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,031
Well, I would have
if he hadn't escaped.
107
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,382
Or if you were ever invited
to a party.
108
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,253
[chuckling]
109
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,820
Malcolm, stop being so
mean to your brother.
110
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,604
Yeah, thanks, Mom.Now, get your old,
111
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,040
stupid childhood
crap out of here.
112
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,478
[chuckling]:
Out of here.
113
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,569
I don't blame Slinky
for running away.
114
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:11,136
I would take off, too,
if my owner was
115
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,226
an "Official Klingon
Ambassador."
116
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,447
Well, actually...
117
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,276
Slinky didn't exactly run away.
118
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,495
What?
119
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,583
Ooh, I hated that thing.
120
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,367
It freaked the hell out of me.
121
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,588
So, one day, you
boys were in school,
122
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,591
and I put it in a bag and
drove it to the woods.
123
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,464
You let it go?
124
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,161
Yeah, let's go with that.
125
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,904
I can't believe
Marty never found out.
126
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,471
And he never will, right?
127
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,648
Hey, well, don't worry,
I did not hear a thing.
128
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,258
Yeah.
[chuckles]
129
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:47,738
But I did!
130
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,741
[sobbing]
131
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:53,309
♪
132
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,531
Calvin.
133
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,663
Oh. Hey, Gemma.
134
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:00,795
Equipment manager?
135
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,101
You made my son
the equipment manager?
136
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,973
Hey.
137
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:08,498
It's the most important person
on the team...
138
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,240
who's not technically
on the team.
139
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,722
Calvin, I played
varsity lacrosse,
140
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:17,115
and we all know what happens
to equipment managers.
141
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,727
They get teased and
shoved into lockers.
142
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,730
At least that's what
we did to ours.
[chuckles]
143
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,646
Yeah, those were
the good old days, right?
144
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:29,040
I stuffed more geeks
into lockers than I did books.
145
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,870
Calvin, being on a team
made me resilient.
146
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,611
It toughened me up.
147
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,308
And that's what I
want for Grover.
148
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,223
But... [sighs]
149
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:41,096
he's the worst player
I've ever coached.
150
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:43,359
And I coached Marty.
151
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,580
It was one practice.
152
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,451
I'm sure he'll get better.
153
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,148
Besides, I thought
you told Dave
154
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,412
you were the best
coach in the world.
155
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,718
I never said that.
156
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,372
I'm not an egomaniac.
157
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,808
[scoffs]
158
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,375
I said California.
159
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,378
Look, it was your idea
160
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,728
to put him on the team
in the first place, so...
161
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,121
put him on the team.
162
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:09,864
Unless you want to be
stuffed into a locker.
163
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:18,525
[footsteps stomping up steps]
164
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,527
[door slams shut]Wow.
165
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,443
For a tiny little white girl,
she's kind of scary.
166
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:26,446
♪
167
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:27,621
I can't believe it.
168
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:30,014
You murdered Slinky.
169
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,712
Well, it was self-defense.
170
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,714
As soon as he saw
my snakeskin boots,
171
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,672
I knew he was coming for me.
172
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,067
Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty.
173
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,635
It's been almost 15 years, man.
Let it go.
174
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,375
Well, it's easy
for you to say.
175
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,856
You're not the one
who loved him, cared for him,
176
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,598
took him outside
for his nightly slithers.
177
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:51,732
Okay, Marty,
178
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:52,820
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have
179
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,299
gotten rid of your
pet like that.
180
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,171
What can I do to
make it up to you?
181
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,389
Well, that depends.
182
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,956
What else have you
lied to me about?
183
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,828
Did my old Space Camp buddy
Winston Chang
184
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:03,439
really move back to China,
or did you kill him, too?
185
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,575
Okay, Marty, come on.
186
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,794
Let me do something
to make you feel better.
187
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,143
Like what?
188
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,580
Anything. Just name it.
189
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:16,278
Well, I-I do love
your seafood jambalaya.
190
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,019
Oh.
191
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,021
Wow.
192
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:22,763
I mean, with all the shopping
and the prep,
193
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,852
that's gonna take all day.
194
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,723
Yeah, you're right.
It does take a lot of time.
195
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:30,031
Yeah.Although death is forever.
196
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,560
Okay. Fine.
I'll go to the market right now.
197
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,822
Well, hey, Ma, since
you out there...
198
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,084
I didn't kill your pet.
199
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,440
Oh, man, I'm really
surprised how upset you are.
200
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,834
I didn't realize how much
you loved that snake.
201
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,533
Well, actually...
202
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,233
I hated that damn thing!
203
00:08:58,276 --> 00:09:00,104
What?
204
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,497
Well, it was terrifying.
205
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,455
Like a giant piece
of spaghetti with teeth.
206
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,416
[scoffs]
All right, well,
207
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,549
then why are you giving
Mama such a hard time?
208
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,552
I'll tell you why-- to teach her
a lesson in honesty.
209
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,902
By lying to her?
210
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,427
Well, I-I wouldn't
call it lying.
211
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,907
Okay, then what
would you call it?
212
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,386
Well, I...
213
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,606
Oh, give me a break, Malcolm.
I'm in mourning.
214
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,434
What?
215
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,306
Okay, Grover, you ever
heard the phrase
216
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,439
"he got game"?Sure.
217
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,962
Well, you ain't got none.
218
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,924
But I promised your mom
I'd turn you into a player,
219
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,621
and that's what I'm gonna do.
220
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:43,147
But I can't dribble,
I can't shoot, I can't pass.
221
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:46,455
Don't forget you suck
at rebounding, too.
222
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,152
I know.
If I have to play,
223
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,372
I'm just gonna go out there
and embarrass myself.
224
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:53,201
Oh, oh, oh, don't worry.
Look, I got a plan.
225
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,812
You remember when
Jorge tried to get
226
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,814
the extra orange
slice at practice
227
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,947
and you slapped his hand away?
228
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,296
Not on my watch.
229
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:08,869
That's why I'm gonna
make you the enforcer.
230
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,218
The enforcer?
231
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,960
That kind of sounds
like a superhero.
232
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,265
It is.
233
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:17,225
But instead of saving people,
your job
234
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,009
is to elbow them,
235
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:22,056
foul and scare the crap
out of other kids.
236
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,928
Am I allowed to do that?
237
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,017
Up to six times a game.
238
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:29,890
Okay, so here.
239
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,892
Pretend I'm on
the other team
240
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,067
and we're fighting
for a rebound.
241
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,372
Show me what you got.
242
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,504
Come on.
243
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,723
[grunts fiercely][groans]
244
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,206
[straining]: And your mom
said I wasn't a good coach.
245
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,643
[blows whistle]
246
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,915
Oh, look at Grover
out there.
247
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:58,222
He looks so grown-up
in his uniform.
248
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,398
Mommy loves you,
snuggle bug!
249
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,922
Mommy!
250
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,099
I'm so nervous for him.
251
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,840
It feels like opening
night at the school play.
252
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,493
My leaves were
shaking so bad,
253
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,974
they had to add a line
about the gusty wind.[chuckles]
254
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,281
[buzzer sounds]
255
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,630
Come on,
bring it in.
256
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,284
All right, guys.
257
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,938
We're gonna go out there,
we're gonna play hard,
258
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,418
we're gonna have fun,
but most importantly,
259
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:23,421
show good sportsmanship.
260
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,293
Go Lions!TEAM: Roar!
261
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,903
Let's get it.
262
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,731
Whoa, whoa, hey, Grover.
263
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:31,560
All that good sportsmanship
stuff doesn't apply to you.
264
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:32,779
Got it.
265
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,869
Hey-hey, and, uh,
here's your mouth guard.
266
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,566
Safety first.
267
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,002
Yours, not theirs.
268
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,571
Thanks, Coach Calvin.
269
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,095
[whistle blows]
270
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,402
Oh, my God,
Grover's starting.
271
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,666
That's my son!
Number 12!
272
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,059
That's my
snuggly son!
273
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,627
Wow, yesterday Grover
was the water boy.
274
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,020
Today he's in
the starting five.
275
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,805
I mean, at this rate,
tomorrow he's gonna be...
276
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,023
[boy grunts][thud]
277
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,155
[whistle blows]
278
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,200
Foul, number 12!
279
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,289
...in jail.
280
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,649
Dude.Yo, what's up, man?
281
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:21,349
Don't tell me you guilted Mom
into baking you a pie?
282
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,525
I sure did.
283
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,136
Revenge is a dish
best served à la mode.
284
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,098
Okay, Marty, I'm off
to clean your apartment.
285
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,230
Thanks, Mama.
286
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,842
Now, you sure you're okay
doing this for me?
287
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,061
Oh, anything for my baby.
288
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,585
Great. Make sure you use
the pine scent,
289
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,370
because the lemon
tickles my nose.
290
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:46,113
Okay, let me see if I have any.
291
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:49,159
I should've took hisass
to the woods.
292
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,772
You know what?
That's it, man.
293
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:53,860
You're taking
this too far.
294
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,296
I'm telling Mama the truth.
295
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,124
Well, would a piece
of this delicious blueberry pie
296
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,560
change your mind?
297
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,954
Do you seriously think
you can buy me off with pie?
298
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:03,173
What about tickets
to the Lakers game?
299
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,308
Mama got you Laker tickets?
300
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:12,487
Not yet, but if I can figure
out how to make myself cry,
301
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:16,012
it'll be Jack Nicholson,
you, and me on the floor.
302
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,581
Okay, I'm off.
303
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,062
Here come the tears.Aah!
304
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:26,022
[groans]Oh, oh...
305
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,632
Oh, I know.
306
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,286
[Marty crying]
307
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:32,072
It's okay, baby bro.[crying]
308
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,030
Slinky's in heaven now.
309
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,336
[Marty crying]
310
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:39,079
What the hell is going on
out there?
311
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,168
Grover's
out of control.
312
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,126
Okay, uh...
313
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,041
so we got off to a pretty
aggressive start,
314
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,000
but I think he's
beginning to calm down.
315
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:50,481
I mean, he hasn't fouled
anybody in almost two minutes.
316
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,440
Dave,
it's a time-out.
317
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,877
[buzzer sounds]
318
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,792
Okay. Come on!
319
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,187
Look, maybe Calvin
called the time-out
320
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,102
to tell Grover
to keep his elbows to himself.
321
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,494
[boy grunts][thud]
322
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,061
[whistle blows]REFEREE:
Foul, number 12!
323
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,197
That's it.
I'm talking to Calvin.
324
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,894
Okay, I'm coming, too.
325
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,983
Even the parents on our team
look like they want to kill us.
326
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,768
Come on, ref!
327
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,379
That kid traveled so much,
328
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,990
it's like he's going to see
his real daddy for the weekend.
329
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,690
Calvin?
330
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:28,128
What the hell?
Grover's acting like an animal!
331
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,477
I know, right?
332
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:34,612
Forget California, I may be
the best coach in the world.
333
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:37,311
I asked you to teach him
how to play basketball,
334
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,269
not turn him
into a goon.
335
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,142
Hey, you told me
to toughen him up.
336
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,752
Plus, we're winning.
337
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,886
He might not even have
to use his last two fouls.
338
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,148
[thud][whistle blows]
339
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,324
REFEREE:
Foul, number 12!
340
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:54,894
Okay, one foul.
341
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,201
So you're not gonna do
anything about this?
342
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,943
No. Not in the
middle of a game.
343
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,597
Fine. Then I will.
344
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,296
Hey!
345
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,300
Oh, God, this is my mom
at the school play
346
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,259
all over again.
347
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,565
You want to teach my kid
how to play dirty?
348
00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:17,307
Good luck doing it without this.
349
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:30,364
She does know we have a whole
rack of balls right here, right?
350
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,152
This pie
is delicious.
351
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,501
Yeah, I know.
352
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,155
I always thought the
secret ingredient was love.
353
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:42,724
Turns out, it's guilt.[chuckles]
354
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,292
Hey, boys.
Hey.
Hey, Mama.
355
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,336
What's that?
356
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,948
A gift for you.
I think I finally
357
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,819
figured out something
that will make up
358
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,516
for what I
did to you.
359
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,996
Oh, Mom,
you shouldn't have.
360
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,693
Although, given
your savage betrayal,
361
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:56,825
you probably should have.
362
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,132
All right, well,
363
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,698
open it, baby.
364
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,178
Okay, well, whatever it is,
365
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,353
hopefully it'll make me forget
366
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:06,835
the memory of
my precious-- snake!
367
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:13,363
Yeah. See, I realized
that there's no amount
368
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,192
of cooking and cleaning
that could replace your snake.
369
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:20,283
But maybe one that's
twice as big could.
370
00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,851
Ooh-ooh!Ah!
371
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,288
Aw! Do you love it?
372
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,637
[chuckling]:
I know Ido.
373
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,335
Ooh.
[laughs]
374
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,338
Here, come on, let me
put him around your neck.
375
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:34,863
Oh, look at him. Oh,
look at that, aw...
376
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,215
He's so cute.
377
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:41,478
Look at him, Mama.
378
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,393
He's so happy,
he's about to cry.
379
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,308
[Malcolm and Tina chuckle]
380
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,310
He gonna die.
381
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,530
[whispering]:
Get it off.
382
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,228
What, wha-what'd you say, baby?
I can't hear you.
383
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,622
Get the snake--
get it-- get it off.Get it off?
384
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,754
Like, take it off of your neck?
Oh, okay.
385
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,756
Let me hold... You want
me to hold him? Okay.
386
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,802
[screaming]
387
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,329
And that's what you get
for messing with your mama!
388
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,896
You better ask somebody!
389
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,203
[chuckles]
390
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,379
So you knew, huh?
391
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,816
Hell yeah, I knew!
392
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:17,210
I heard you two talking
when I was in the kitchen.
393
00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,429
Um, how much did you hear?
394
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,345
Mmm, about this much!Aah!
395
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,175
Selling out your own
mother for a Laker ticket?
396
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:28,482
You're an even bigger
snake than this one!
397
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,267
Uh-oh,
where'd it go?
398
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:36,098
Aw, hell no!
399
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,274
I'm moving!
I'm moving!Go!
400
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:40,320
[Tina yelling]
401
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,281
Mom, Mom, you should've seen it!
I made the game-winning play!
402
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,457
You scored a basket?
403
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,721
No, I would have had to touch
the ball to do that.
404
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,987
Oh, so you fouled another kid.
405
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,120
Oh, no. He
didn't have to.
406
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730
The best player
on their team
407
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,297
was about to score
the game-winning shot,
408
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:02,994
but then, when
he saw Grover,
409
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,432
he threw up an airball
and peed himself! [chuckles]
410
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,001
Hey, come on, buddy.
Let's go inside.
411
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,786
You should probably shower,
and, uh,
412
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:14,180
I should probably
call an attorney.
413
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,141
Well, Calvin,
congratulations.
414
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,534
You turned my son into a monster
415
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:23,014
just so you could win
a stupid basketball game.
416
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,146
I hope you're happy.
417
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,714
When you say it like that,
418
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,150
it sounds like
I'm not supposed to be.
419
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,283
Oh!
420
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,067
You're unbelievable.
421
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,286
Look, Gemma.
422
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,157
You said that he had to play.
423
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,159
Well, this is the only way
that he could do it
424
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,726
without embarrassing himself.
425
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,597
Oh, really?
426
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,121
So this was just
about protecting him
427
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,645
and not your precious
winning streak?
428
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,125
Why can't it be both?
429
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,738
Calvin, this was
supposed to be
430
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:54,611
about teaching Grover
the value of being on a team.
431
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,178
I trusted you.
432
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,745
Think about it.
433
00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:01,444
If Grover would've went out
there and played terrible,
434
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:05,535
and we lost, all the other kids
would have blamed him.
435
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,885
And then he would never
want to be on a team again.
436
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,191
Is that
what you want?
437
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,280
Well, obviously not.
438
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,413
But I also don't want kids
wetting their pants
439
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:14,588
when he walks into a room.
440
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,200
Look, I was just trying
441
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:19,810
to give him
a role on the team
442
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,508
where he could feel good
about himself.
443
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,771
Yeah, but there's nothing
to feel good about
444
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:27,209
if he's not playing
the right way.
445
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,994
All right. Okay.
446
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,214
I hear you.
447
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:36,000
Maybe I took it
a little too far.
448
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,219
I apologize.
449
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,742
Thank you.
450
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,135
But you got
to admit,
451
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,616
he was having a good time
out there.
452
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:46,141
He did have a pretty
big smile on his face.Yeah.
453
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,275
So I guess I have to
give you credit for that.
454
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,843
Well, you don't vote yourself
best coach in California
455
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:54,410
for nothing.[chuckling]
456
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,806
I'll tell you what,
I'll keep working with Grover
457
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:01,417
on his fundamentals,
bring him up to speed.
458
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:02,897
Thank you.
459
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:06,248
And promise me, next
game, no more fouling.
460
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,684
Not a problem.
461
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:10,296
You don't have to worry
about that at all.
462
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:12,298
He's been suspended
for the rest of the season.
463
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,306
Hey, Calvin...
464
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,267
I just hit 12 minutes.
Personal best.
465
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,488
I've been watching
for five seconds.
466
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,141
Personal worst.
467
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,231
[chuckling]:
All right, come on.
468
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,710
Why don't you
give it a try?
469
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,582
Absolutely not.
470
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,062
Calvin, you have
the wrong attitude.
471
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:40,151
It's stop making fun ofit
472
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:41,414
and start making fun
473
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,764
a-withit.
474
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:49,335
Fine.
I'll give it a spin.
475
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:53,774
Hey, man!
476
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,342
Huh.
477
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,605
That was more fun
than I thought.
478
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,650
Snake!
479
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,870
Captioning sponsored by
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480
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:04,915
Captioned by
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