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1
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,047
.
2
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,006
- No, no.
It makes no sense
3
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,137
for you to run the meeting
4
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:08,660
when the former manager
is here.
5
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:10,401
I can do this
from muscle memory.
6
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:11,533
- What are you talking about?
7
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:13,013
Your body has
literally no muscle.
8
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,144
Now give me the clipboard.
- No.
9
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,276
- Give it to me!
- No.
10
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,581
- Glenn, come on.
- I will not.
11
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,018
- I order you to give to me.
- You order me?
12
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,410
- Yes, I do--
- Sorry.
13
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:20,585
Sorry I'm late.
- I don't take orders from you!
14
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,022
Um, no problem.
15
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,719
Just was running the meeting
for you--
16
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,851
- [sighs]
- We covered a lot of ground.
17
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:28,376
- Parker's day care closed
at the last minute.
18
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:31,422
Some kid had lice.
- Logan. Surprise, surprise.
19
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:35,296
- So now Parker is here.
With his wet face, great.
20
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:36,688
- Well, I mean, I didn't know
what else to do.
21
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:38,690
My parents are out of town,
and Eric's working,
22
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,345
and Adam's at a convention
learning how to do beekeeping.
23
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:44,740
- Oh, if he wants bees,
I still got a ton in my car.
24
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,830
- Okay, so, uh,
St. Patrick's Day. Right.
25
00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:51,181
Today we have a new "Follow the
Rainbow to Savings" initiative.
26
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,531
Customers will follow
the clouds with rainbows
27
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,011
to find coupons.
28
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,622
- Oh, my God, he's so cute.
My ovaries are exploding.
29
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,233
It's like,
scrambled eggs, anyone?
30
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:00,886
- Oh, gross.
- Disgusting.
31
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,975
- So Sarah, can you stock the--
32
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,977
- Is it okay
to hold him like that?
33
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,327
He seems uncomfortable.
34
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,372
- No, he's totally fine.
35
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,722
And this is a very standard way
to hold a child.
36
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:13,160
- Maybe he's afraid of heights.
Put him on the floor.
37
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,249
- You guys, he's good.
I promise.
38
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:16,859
Okay, Cheyenne, Sandra,
you're serving
39
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,209
our St. Patrick's Day
specialty snacks--
40
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,515
- Amy, sorry to interrupt,
41
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,256
but I think some pooping
is happening your way.
42
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:23,822
- Yeah, I know.
I'll change him soon.
43
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,433
- Oh, okay.
44
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,478
We're just supposed to ignore
the human feces in the room.
45
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,480
- She wants him to sit in it.
Teach him a lesson.
46
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:30,916
- No, I'm just trying
to get through this.
47
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,918
- All right, all right.
Come here, little buddy.
48
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:35,399
I got you.
- Oh, my God.
49
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:39,011
Jonah's holding Amy's baby
like it's his baby.
50
00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:42,058
- I live with him, Sandra.
I hold him every day.
51
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,322
- I'm literally
screaming right now.
52
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:48,282
[upbeat music]
53
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:51,589
♪
54
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,765
- Like, I get
the concept of babies.
55
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,245
I'm not even saying
don't have babies.
56
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:56,420
Like, have babies.
57
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,769
But do I have
to see the babies?
58
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,380
- Mateo, could you
give me a hand?
59
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:01,164
It's a dating thing,
and you're the only person here
60
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,470
in a functional relationship.
61
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:03,775
Justine, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
62
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,299
Just because you send money
to a man in Ghana
63
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:06,430
does not make him
your boyfriend.
64
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,040
- [exhales]
Relationship status--
65
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,433
"it's complicated."
66
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,000
- It's really not.
- Yeah, I'll help.
67
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,610
Anything to keep looking busy.
68
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,743
Otherwise Amy's gonna ask me
to walk her baby or whatever.
69
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,353
- So you're dating someone?
- Yup.
70
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,660
Dr. Brian Patterson.
It's been a couple weeks.
71
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:21,402
I just--I really think
this could be something.
72
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,882
Not the normal cold,
anonymous sex I'm used to.
73
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,232
No offense, Garrett.
74
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,234
- Ah, well, we were
literally wearing name tags,
75
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:28,278
but generally speaking, yes.
76
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,845
- So it's his birthday,
77
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,499
and I wanna give him a picture
of the two of us together,
78
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,109
but we haven't really
had any taken yet,
79
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,937
so I thought maybe
you could Photoshop something.
80
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,895
I have his picture.
81
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,332
- Did you steal his license?
82
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,161
- Uh, yeah, you can't ask
to borrow someone's license.
83
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,032
They'll think you're a freak.
84
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,294
- I can whip something up.
85
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,601
He's cute.
Ooh, 6'1".
86
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:49,386
- Mm-hmm, and his proportions
are a dream.
87
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,127
Nipples exactly
where you want 'em.
88
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,737
Mm.
89
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,264
- Can you turn that for Mama?
90
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,874
- Just in case this isn't
what you wanted to do
91
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,745
for the next 10 minutes,
you want me to take him?
92
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:03,357
- Yes, that would be great.
Thank you--just be careful.
93
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,662
All he wants to do is
open your eyelid
94
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,316
and scream into it right now.
95
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,231
[cereal box rustling]
96
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,799
Uh, never mind.
Go--go deal with that.
97
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:13,758
- Oh, sir.
Sir, it's just the coupons.
98
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,369
We didn't hide anything
in the products.
99
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,371
- Oh, yeah?
Then what's this?
100
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:20,243
The prizes are in the cereal!
- No, it's...
101
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,464
No, that's just--have you
not had cereal before?
102
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,250
- The glitter was my idea.
103
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,209
Makes it look
more magical, right?
104
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,341
- Is that edible glitter?
105
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,256
- I mean, technically
all glitter is edible.
106
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,127
It's really small.
107
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,825
- Oh, okay.
108
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,742
Hey, wasn't Jonah cute
holding Parker?
109
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,091
- I guess.
110
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:45,137
- I just meant he looked
like a really good dad.
111
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,704
- Oh.
- Oh, my God.
112
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:50,142
Wouldn't it be crazy if Jonah
actually was Parker's dad?
113
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,840
- Yeah, that'd be wild.
114
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,886
But Amy was already pregnant
when she and Jonah had sex.
115
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:57,411
- Unless she just thought
she was pregnant.
116
00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,195
It could've been
a false positive.
117
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,805
- Oh, yeah.
118
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:03,243
There was this girl in my class
who thought she was pregnant,
119
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,809
and then she went away
for a few months.
120
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,071
And when she came back,
121
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,465
it turned out that her mom
had a miracle baby,
122
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,076
like, way late in life.
123
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,556
- Uh-huh.
124
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,471
- Happy St. Patrick's Day,
shoppers.
125
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:17,082
Corned beef and cabbage
are 20% off.
126
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,433
If you're dying to impress
your friends with wet meat,
127
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,565
now's the time.
128
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,741
Whoa, whoa, whoa--hold on.
What is this?
129
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,700
- It's for Brian.
Mateo nailed it.
130
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:28,268
- Don't you think that
this is a little...big
131
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,834
for a first birthday together?
132
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,923
- Well, it needs to be big in
order to secure the balloons.
133
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,925
16, one for every day
we've known each other.
134
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:36,711
- Or maybe since you
just started dating,
135
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,974
you could go with something
like, and I'm being crazy here,
136
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,280
but something like a card?
137
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,759
- A card?
[laughs]
138
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,544
He's not
in the hospital, Garrett.
139
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,285
- Yeah, thanks a lot.
I...
140
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,678
[gasps]
I know what's happening.
141
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,201
He's trying
to give me bad advice
142
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:52,248
because he wants to sabotage
my relationship with Brian.
143
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,425
You still want me.
You poor bastard.
144
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,427
- No, I just think
that this is a lot
145
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,951
for any human man to take.
146
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,303
- Oh, Garrett, let it go.
It's over, okay?
147
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:04,782
There are women
on the internet.
148
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:05,870
Dozens of them.
149
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,786
- Hey, Amy.
150
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,440
I saw you were having
a little bit of trouble,
151
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:11,485
so I thought it might help
152
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,356
if Jerusha came in
to watch Parker.
153
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,403
- Oh, my God.
That would be amazing.
154
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,970
Thank you so much.
- It's really no problem.
155
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:21,843
We were just picking up some
T-shirts at Cracker Barrel.
156
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:25,368
But we're happy to have a
little playdate with this guy.
157
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,283
- Yes, that's so fun.
- Yeah.
158
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,241
You go back to being
big boss lady.
159
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,548
Full-time mom is on the case.
160
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:34,812
- Well, yeah, I mean,
I am also a full-time mom.
161
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,815
- Yeah, but Jerusha's
a super mom.
162
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:40,775
[both vocalizing]
163
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,475
- Saving babies in need.
- [laughs]
164
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,608
- Well, I mean, "saving"
is a little strong.
165
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,871
And "in need,"
but--but thank you.
166
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:54,310
And now other super mom is
gonna go check the inventory!
167
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,616
♪ Bah-bum
168
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,619
Okay.
Bye, Parker.
169
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,664
- What was that?
170
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,623
- I don't know what
she was doing.
171
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:05,626
.
172
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,629
- Look at her grip that block.
Confidence of a gladiator.
173
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:09,934
It's impressive
my amniotic fluid
174
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,023
managed to offset
all that Sturgis DNA.
175
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,590
- Well, you watch her
pinken in the sun
176
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,332
and tell me that she's
not full Sturgis.
177
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,335
- Okay, um, here is
Parker's diaper bag.
178
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,642
There are some fruit squeezies
there if he gets hungry.
179
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,034
- Oh, that's okay.
180
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,645
I can just give him
some of Rose's fruit mash.
181
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:25,863
It's homemade.
182
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,343
- Jerusha makes
all of Rose's food.
183
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,040
She's never even tasted sugar.
184
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,173
Rose, I mean.
Jerusha's tasted sugar.
185
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,784
- Don't care for it.
I'm a baking soda gal.
186
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,438
- Well, I mean,
they are organic.
187
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,440
There's, like,
four ingredients, so--
188
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,921
- I make mine
with a very special ingredient.
189
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,923
Do you know what
that ingredient is?
190
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,099
- I think I can guess.
- Is it palm oil?
191
00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:45,753
Because it's destroying
our rain forests.
192
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,885
- It's love.
Isn't that cute?
193
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,452
- So cute, yeah.
194
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,628
Um, so anyway,
thanks again, Jerusha.
195
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:54,109
Lifesaver.
- My pleasure.
196
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,198
You know, it might be nice
for Parker to get some
197
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,853
one-on-one attention instead
of being lost in the crowd
198
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,245
at day care.
- Yeah.
199
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,683
- Oh, well, I mean, there's,
like, seven kids there.
200
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,032
It's a really good ratio.
201
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,381
- Yeah, but her ratio's
one-to-one.
202
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,688
So that's seven times better.
That's just math.
203
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,167
- Well, Parker loves day care.
204
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:11,213
He loves it so much that
sometimes I come to pick him up
205
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,693
to take him home,
and he starts crying.
206
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:13,868
- Ooh.
207
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,304
- Not because he doesn't
want to go home.
208
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:18,046
He's very happy...
at home and at daycare.
209
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,656
He's happy.
- Oh, yeah.
210
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:23,486
No, we think Parker's doing
great under the circumstances.
211
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,706
I mean, you should be
proud of him.
212
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:27,534
- I am.
I'm very proud of him.
213
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:31,102
He's doing great.
He's bright and he's curious--
214
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,408
- Is this a dog toy?
215
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,715
- No. What?
It's a--it's a squirrel.
216
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,107
[squeaks]
217
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,414
That squeaks.
That's what squirrels do.
218
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,633
- Do they?
219
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,373
- I don't know, Dina.
I didn't make the toy.
220
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:44,072
- I make all of Rose's toys.
221
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,900
- Yeah.
Okay.
222
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:49,251
- It says "anticonvulsants
can cause a false positive
223
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,861
in a pregnancy test."
224
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:53,429
Maybe Amy was taking those.
- She must have been.
225
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,084
I've never seen her convulse,
like, ever.
226
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,826
But wait, she also
looked really pregnant.
227
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,044
- Right.
228
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:03,700
But maybe, she was faking it.
229
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,355
- So Adam would think it's his
230
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:09,314
and have to pay them
child support.
231
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:12,666
That's smart.
Get that beekeeping money.
232
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,537
- You know how I'm producing
Brian's birthday?
233
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,148
I'm trying to get a tribute
band, and I need your opinion.
234
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,411
I found this live-action
version of the Beastie Boys--
235
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,370
- The Beastie-Boys
were live-action.
236
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,459
- Wait, so it wasn't a cartoon
237
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,635
where every beast played
a different instrument?
238
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:28,029
Well, I like my version better.
- Look, man.
239
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:30,335
Dina's plan,
it's insane, right?
240
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,250
- Oh, yeah, it's off the rails,
241
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,600
but I'm not gonna
tell her that.
242
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:34,775
It's Dina.
243
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,254
She doesn't respond well
to outside input.
244
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,647
She's like Tyler Perry.
245
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,562
- All right, well, she's
gonna scare this guy off.
246
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:42,783
- I know, it's crazy.
Someone should stop her.
247
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,219
Besides us, I mean.
248
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,615
- Who do they think they are?
- Yes, exactly, thank you.
249
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,312
Ugh, "made with love."
250
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:53,010
Yeah, I bought those
fruit squeezies with love.
251
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,359
They're in the expensive part
of the store
252
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:55,709
with the beeswax candles.
253
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,449
- She's home all day.
254
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,887
She has nothing but time
to cut up fruit.
255
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,453
Hell, she could even
macerate them.
256
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,325
Maybe chiffonade
a little mint on top.
257
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:06,807
- Yeah, she could totally
do whatever you just said.
258
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:10,288
- You are an amazing mom.
Parker is an awesome kid.
259
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:13,683
And if I'm being honest,
Rose has kind of a weird smell.
260
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,685
- Oh, my God, she totally does.
- Yeah.
261
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:16,904
She kind of smells like,
262
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,514
and I don't even know
what I mean by this,
263
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,602
a parlor.
264
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,865
- Yes, like a parlor.
265
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,389
In a house.
Where people gather.
266
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:25,695
- Yes.
267
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,523
- Hey, Justine,
268
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,351
that erotic bakery you used
for your birthday,
269
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,092
are they open to putting
non-nudes on a cake?
270
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:32,354
- Ooh, I don't know.
Probably not.
271
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:33,964
It's a religious thing
for them.
272
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,313
- Got it.
I'll keep looking.
273
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:36,488
I'm getting Brian
a birthday cake
274
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,751
with a bunch
of his baby pictures on it.
275
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,056
- Okay, hold on.
276
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,623
I thought you just had
his driver license photo.
277
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,103
- Yeah, but it'll be easy
to get baby photos
278
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,713
now that I tracked down
his mom.
279
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,149
- His mom?
- Yeah.
280
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,369
- Yes, Garrett, we found
Brian's mother on Instagram.
281
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,240
- Yup, there's a lot
of Sue Pattersons out there,
282
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,502
but if you devote
an hour to it,
283
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,026
eventually you'll find
the right one.
284
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,028
Right, Mateo?
- Hour and a half.
285
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,377
- Okay, this has gotta stop.
286
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,988
- [sighs]
Sorry I'm being so insensitive.
287
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,512
Here I am talking about
my incredible relationship
288
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,515
when clearly,
Garrett wants me back.
289
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,561
[Irish accent] And me front.
[laughs]
290
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,694
A little St. Patrick's Day
humor there for you.
291
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:11,393
- Okay, you know what, Dina?
I'm gonna say this as a friend.
292
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:14,048
But you are coming on
way too strong,
293
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,528
so strong that it's terrifying.
294
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:21,229
Your actions are gonna haunt
this man until the day he dies.
295
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,926
And I'm not the only one
who thinks it.
296
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,275
Everybody else does too.
297
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,103
They're just
too chicken to say it.
298
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,584
But I'm not
'cause I'm your friend.
299
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,152
- Is that how
you both feel as well?
300
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,415
- Um, maybe?
301
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,764
- Yeah, when you
add everything up,
302
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:38,725
I could see how it could
tip towards crazy.
303
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,248
- Hmm.
304
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:44,252
Well, as your friend,
I'd like you all to know
305
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,862
your faces look like butts.
306
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:51,172
- ♪ Precious memories
307
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:53,783
♪
308
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:54,871
[applause]
- Wow.
309
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,439
- Hey, guys,
Rose just sang a song.
310
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,441
- Yeah, she's making up tunes
all the time.
311
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,835
I forget that most kids
don't do that.
312
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,707
But maybe it's 'cause she's
home with Jerusha all day.
313
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,623
You know, who's practically
a walking glockenspiel.
314
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,712
- Parker has some tricks
up his sleeve too.
315
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,192
Jonah, do the--
do the high five.
316
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,629
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, watch this.
317
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,152
High five.
318
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,850
- Look, they have
the same hands.
319
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,679
- [gasps]
- High five.
320
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,115
High five, buddy.
321
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,856
- Just hold on.
He'll do it.
322
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:23,987
It's really cute.
323
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,946
Jonah, do it like
you do it at home.
324
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,339
- Yeah, I am--
- No, no, but do the voice.
325
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,124
- Well, I'm in front
of a bunch of people,
326
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,473
so I'm not gonna do the voice.
327
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,736
- I should get back to work.
- Yeah, me too.
328
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,651
- Guys, you're not paramedics.
Your work can wait.
329
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,609
Just--come on, Jonah.
Please do the voice.
330
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,002
- [sighs]
331
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,701
[in a high-pitched voice]
Hey, Parker, high five.
332
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,659
High five.
333
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,139
- No, you're still
not doing it right.
334
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,358
- This is how I do it.
High five.
335
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,971
- Oh, that--that, that was it.
336
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,886
Wow.
Great.
337
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:56,237
And you've taken him to
a doctor, and he's doing fine?
338
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,587
No, he's doing fine.
He's doing great.
339
00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,893
- Yeah.
340
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,590
- Good job, Parker.
- No, no, that wasn't it.
341
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:02,765
You guys,
don't clap for that.
342
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,680
- Oh, cool.
My dog has the same toy.
343
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,116
- What?
No, it's not--
344
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,771
it's not a dog toy.
I got it here in the store.
345
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,339
- In toys?
- No, in clearance, but it's--
346
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,775
- Oh, yeah, that is a dog toy.
347
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,342
- Potty.
- Oh.
348
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:17,780
- Well, I heard that.
Okay, sweetie, let's go.
349
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,565
- Did she say "potty"?
- Yay!
350
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,611
- She's potty-trained
at 16 months?
351
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:25,527
- Yeah, but don't put that kind
of pressure on Parker, okay?
352
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,659
'Cause he's got enough
to deal with.
353
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,400
Let's go.
354
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,185
- Up, boy.
Up.
355
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,708
- He's not a dog!
356
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:36,756
.
357
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,105
- Maybe they're right.
358
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:39,106
Maybe if I was home all day,
359
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,803
Parker would be peeing
in a toilet
360
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,152
and playing with human toys.
361
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,675
- Stop it.
You're a great mom.
362
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,155
And plus, I mean,
363
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,592
do we even know that
Rose is potty-trained?
364
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,942
- What?
365
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,813
- She says potty,
and Glenn takes her away.
366
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,467
We don't know what happens
in that bathroom.
367
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:53,990
- Do you think he's lying?
368
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,558
- Glenn's been rubbing Rose
in our face all day.
369
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,733
Think about it.
370
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,300
He took a demotion
just to be with her.
371
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,997
He's very invested.
372
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,346
- Yeah, I mean,
for all we know,
373
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:04,784
it could be, like,
diaper city in there.
374
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,700
- Do you want me to go check?
375
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,702
- No, come on.
That would be crazy.
376
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:12,095
- I mean, I do
kind of have to go.
377
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,097
- Well, if you're gonna
go anyway, then yeah, sure.
378
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,534
You should...
379
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:21,017
- ♪ The wicked little children
went down to the beach ♪
380
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,019
♪ Learning all
the naughty lessons ♪
381
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,804
♪ The people there do teach
382
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,240
♪ We'll learn about murder
383
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,851
[toilet flushes]
♪ While playing in the sand
384
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,635
♪ And we'll learn
about the lying ♪
385
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,899
♪ While skipping
across the land ♪
386
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,770
Good job, Rose.
387
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,598
[toilet flushes]
388
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:37,860
- [screams]
- What the--
389
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,862
- [groans]
- Oh, my God.
390
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:42,734
Jonah?
- Ow, my eye.
391
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,780
- Jonah, ouchie.
- [crying]
392
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:50,786
- Whoa, you're destroying it?
You don't need to do that.
393
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,918
- Ah, you were right.
394
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,050
It was a stupid idea
with stupid photos.
395
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,096
I'm--I'm not very good at this.
396
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,880
I think I'm just gonna call
the whole thing off.
397
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,316
- Oh, don't do that.
398
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,057
I mean, I'm sure he wants
to see you on his birthday.
399
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:03,146
- No, he'll see me around.
We shop for the same things.
400
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,975
Food, soap, stamps.
- What has gotten into you?
401
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,021
You're acting like you've
never dated someone before.
402
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:09,065
- Well, I haven't.
403
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,632
Not someone I wanted
to stick around.
404
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,764
And it's his birthday, and
all I have left to give him is
405
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,506
a piñata full of condoms, and
now I'm even questioning that.
406
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:18,248
- Oh, okay, well, yeah.
Don't--do not give him that.
407
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,207
- See?
- Okay, just keep it simple.
408
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,948
Take him out to a nice dinner.
409
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,340
- I don't even know
what a nice dinner is.
410
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,951
Is it a hot soup
followed by a cold soup?
411
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,343
Is it a place that
gives you bread?
412
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:28,258
Is it a place that wants you
to bring your own bread?
413
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,304
- What are you talking about?
You've had dinner before.
414
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,784
- Not as a girlfriend!
- It's very similar!
415
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,264
- I am so sorry, Jonah.
416
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,440
I--I have no idea
how this happened.
417
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:37,615
- It's fine.
418
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:38,921
People get hit by doors
all the time.
419
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,054
It's very common.
- Can I get you more water?
420
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:43,926
Starve a fever,
hydrate a black eye.
421
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,624
- Sure.
Thank you.
422
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,931
- Why were you standing
so close to the door?
423
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,107
Were you, like,
spying on Glenn?
424
00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:53,893
- No, of course I wasn't--no,
I was checking on something.
425
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:54,937
- On what?
426
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,070
I was just taking Rose
to go potty.
427
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,550
- Allegedly.
- "Allegedly"?
428
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,117
- I mean, I just wanted to see
429
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,250
if Rose actually
was potty-trained.
430
00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:04,816
- Why would you think
he was lying?
431
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,516
- It's just--it's very advanced
for a child Rose's age.
432
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,039
- Oh, well, Rose is advanced.
433
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,041
You see, when you have
a full-time mom at home--
434
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:15,392
- Stop saying that.
All moms are full-time moms.
435
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,612
Like when I'm here,
Emma's still texting me,
436
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,527
telling me she's gonna die
without Rebo.
437
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,702
I don't know what Rebo is.
438
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:21,964
Now I have to go online
and find out.
439
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:22,965
Is it an app?
Is it a shoe?
440
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,445
Is it a boy?
441
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,883
- Amy, you work full-time.
You're doing the best you can.
442
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,406
And it'll be good for Parker
443
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:32,192
to have to overcome
some disadvantages.
444
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:35,586
Like Oscar the Grouch
grew up in a garbage can,
445
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,980
but he's still on Sesame Street
just like all
446
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,330
those other puppets
who are friendly and clean.
447
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,158
- I'm sorry,
are you calling my child
448
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,465
a disadvantaged, filthy Muppet?
449
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:45,945
- No apologies, Amy.
450
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,991
You are a boss bitch,
and your career is your baby.
451
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,341
- No.
My baby is my baby.
452
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:54,823
- Hey, Parker's fine, okay?
We're not neglecting him.
453
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:57,347
Every night, we give him
a bath, we read him stories,
454
00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:59,262
we sing him to sleep
in his crib--
455
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:02,700
- Wait, he sleeps in a crib?
- Where else would he sleep?
456
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:03,745
- Rose sleeps with us.
457
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,747
That's why we got
a California full.
458
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,749
- So it's like all three of you
in there together?
459
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,404
Like some kind of sexless,
Midwestern pot pie?
460
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,319
- Uh-huh.
- Actually, people now think
461
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:14,016
that bed-sharing makes it
harder for kids
462
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,670
to learn how to sleep
on their own.
463
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,889
- Well, Petey sleeps in bed
with me every night.
464
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,239
Mama's a pushover.
465
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,719
- Oh, for God sake, Justine,
a dog is not a child.
466
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,286
Yes, it's cute, and it drools,
467
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,289
and you have to feed it
and teach it things, but...
468
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,118
There are some differences.
469
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,946
- Yeah, Petey can high five.
470
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:35,211
- ♪ Hey Mr. Burr,
that really smarts ♪
471
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:38,388
♪ Why'd you go and shoot me
in the heart ♪
472
00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:42,262
So that was "Hamilton,"
you guys.
473
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:43,872
I never saw the show,
474
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:47,006
but I overheard people talking
about it at the yarn store.
475
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:49,704
- So we bullied Rose
out of diapers?
476
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,576
- All I'm saying is that maybe
instead of forcing your child
477
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,926
into something new, let them
tell you when they're ready.
478
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,406
It's like Parker
and his pacifier.
479
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,669
- He still uses a pacifier?
- Mm-hmm.
480
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,628
- So you're not worried
about dental problems,
481
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,499
speech delays, looking lame.
482
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,240
- No, he'll give it up
when he's ready.
483
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,850
- [stammers]
Yeah--well, yeah.
484
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,417
We decided to let him keep it
485
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,202
even though those are
all valid points.
486
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,030
- Well, I thought we were
on the same page about this.
487
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,683
Are you the one
taking his pacifiers?
488
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:15,034
- I was gonna give them back
when he learned moderation.
489
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,774
- I let Emma give it up
when she was ready.
490
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,602
- I think this might be a point
in Jonah's column.
491
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,083
- Yeah, Emma's nice,
but she doesn't really pop.
492
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,302
- This isn't about Emma.
493
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,912
This is about Parker and Rose,
494
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,522
and how to decide
which one's better.
495
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,220
- What--no.
- Not what this is about.
496
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,395
- What if they had
a competition?
497
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,962
- Oh, yes.
Like an obstacle course.
498
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:32,442
Petey does those.
- They're not dogs.
499
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,444
- Different Petey.
Petey the person.
500
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,271
- Hold on.
501
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,925
I have to say as a mom,
502
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,188
I think that putting babies
in an obstacle course
503
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:40,798
sounds pretty hilarious.
504
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,974
- We're not putting our babies
through an obstacle course.
505
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,498
- Yeah, besides, it's not fair
506
00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:47,109
to make Parker prove himself
against Rose.
507
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,241
- Excuse me?
- Hmm?
508
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,633
- You don't think Parker
could beat Rose?
509
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,984
- Parker would destroy Rose
in an obstacle course.
510
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,551
- [laughs]
Okay.
511
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:55,857
- Uh, yeah, he would
512
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,207
because he spends all day
at a day care center
513
00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,904
running around with other kids
514
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:03,256
while poor, little Rosie sits
at home with an old schoolmarm.
515
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,996
- What did you just say?
- You heard her.
516
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,476
Or is your hearing
starting to go?
517
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,564
- A little.
518
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:10,306
But it is on, Buster Brown.
- Great.
519
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,308
Mateo, set up
the obstacle course.
520
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,657
And just to be clear,
521
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,225
I really appreciate
Jerusha watching Parker.
522
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:19,141
- No problem!
She loves it.
523
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:23,232
.
524
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,886
- Behold, the Baby Dome!
525
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,671
Two babies enter,
one baby leaves.
526
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:30,109
[all cheering]
527
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,371
And then the other baby
leaves too.
528
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,415
Yeah, it's very safe.
529
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,461
- You get him, Rose.
No mercy.
530
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:35,723
- Is this okay?
- Yeah.
531
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,333
Yeah, it's just a little
friendly competition.
532
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,075
Hey, buddy, do you remember
when your blankie flew out
533
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,859
of the car window
and you went nuts?
534
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:44,471
That energy.
Find it.
535
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:45,646
- Do you see
Jonah's eyes right now?
536
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,256
He's, like, full-on crazy.
537
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,476
- I know.
It's so sweet.
538
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,781
- All right.
Babies at their mark!
539
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:51,826
[crowd gasping, murmuring]
- Okay.
540
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,655
- Ready, set, throw down!
541
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,091
[overlapping chatter]
542
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,180
- Okay, Parker, here you go.
Don't worry about Rose.
543
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,529
You just focus on your game.
544
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,183
- Come on, Parker!
Eat her alive!
545
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,839
[overlapping chatter fades]
546
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,189
- Well, this is
a nothing burger.
547
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,582
- Yup.
548
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,846
- I'm not mad.
Just disappointed.
549
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:13,717
We'll talk about it
in bed tonight.
550
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:16,677
- Make a reservation
at Ramona's.
551
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,026
You like that
neighborhood, right?
552
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,593
- Of course.
It's full of Lithuanians.
553
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:20,985
They can't get enough of me.
- Okay.
554
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:23,205
So we've got Ramona's,
axe throwing,
555
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,685
and vegan frozen yogurt.
556
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,774
- Yeah, but do you think
frozen yogurt is a little too
557
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,689
"sorry kids, Grandma's dead"?
558
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:31,431
- What?
No, frozen yogurt is fun.
559
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,736
You're in charge
of your own destiny.
560
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,303
You could mix grapefruit
with espresso.
561
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:35,478
- Yeah, but I don't think
anyone should have
562
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:36,653
that much power.
563
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:37,915
- That's part
of the excitement.
564
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,700
- [laughs]
Okay, frozen yogurt it is.
565
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:41,745
Well, we planned
one hell of a date.
566
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,530
- Game over.
Nobody does it better.
567
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,879
- Okay, I gotta get going.
568
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,924
- Yeah.
Where--where are you headed?
569
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,752
- I gotta get ready.
Brian's off work in an hour.
570
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:51,538
- Oh, yeah.
Great--yeah, of course.
571
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,148
[laughs]
Yeah, you gotta get going.
572
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,020
- Yeah, well thanks, buddy.
- Mm-hmm.
573
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,196
Anytime.
574
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,418
- You were kind of going
wild back there.
575
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:03,854
- Oh, only me?
576
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,508
- A little nervous
about how you're gonna be
577
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:06,727
once he starts
playing football.
578
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,381
- Oh, he won't be
playing sports.
579
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,383
- Really, 'cause Adam was
a football player.
580
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,560
- Yeah, but I've been dosing
him on two hours of NPR daily,
581
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:17,085
so the closest he's coming to
sports is maybe marching band.
582
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:19,392
- But if he's gonna be running
away from bullies anyway,
583
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,089
maybe he joins track too?
584
00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,091
- Can you run?
Are you a runner?
585
00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:25,615
Don't get up.
You're obviously very busy.
586
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,443
- You know, mopping up
glitter vomit
587
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,271
isn't as bad as regular vomit.
588
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,707
It makes me feel like
I'm cleaning up
589
00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,405
after a wasted unicorn.
590
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:33,710
- Yeah, yeah.
591
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:37,018
So I got it.
- What?
592
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,628
- Jonah's DNA.
593
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,937
- You took that from Jonah?
- Yeah.
594
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,636
And I found one
of Parker's pacifiers.
595
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,378
So now we just send them
to the lab with $200
596
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,424
and then wait for the results.
597
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,903
- Oh.
598
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,428
Yeah, you know, I don't
wanna do that, no offense.
599
00:20:55,471 --> 00:21:00,215
It just crosses so many lines
and is, like, super crazy.
600
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,130
- Oh. Yeah.
601
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:05,438
I hadn't thought
about the lines.
602
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,788
So, um...
603
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:11,357
Could you, like, not tell
Jonah and Amy about this?
604
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,796
- Oh, sorry, but I kind of
just think I'm gonna.
605
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:19,321
- Of course.
Yeah, totally get it.
606
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:22,281
[downtempo music]
45671
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