All language subtitles for Schooled s02e16_English

LAINEY: Back in the '90s,
there was no teacher

who looked out more for the
students of William Penn
than Coach Mellor.

Even outside of gym class,

he was always there
to lend a helping hand.

And he was constantly pushing
them to eat healthier

and fuel their brains
for learning.

Yep, it was safe to say
Coach loved helping
every kid at school.

Oh, I totally forgot.

I have to get to the DMV
right after school,

but Toby
has Chess Club.

Don't worry. Your knight
will move young Toby
to Castle Julie.

Another problem checkmated
by "Rook" Mellor.

I love you,

but sometimes I wish
you'd talk normally.

LAINEY: Yep, he and Toby
were spending more
and more time together,

and their relationship
was blossoming.

Jeff Gordon
hugs the corner!

Crew Chief Toby,
what's my next move?

Uh, drive really fast!

Takin' her up
to 35, baby!

(TIRES SQUEAL)

Eat my dust,
power walkers!

And Coach even lent his style
of help with homework.

As the Confederates blitzed
from both sides,

the Union Army
rushed up the middle.

And just when you thought
they'd fumble at Gettysburg...
Boom!

The Union scooped up
the loose ball and took it
to the house!

Appomattox Courthouse.

Suck it, Robert E. Lee!

It was clear Coach was
becoming more than
just a coach to Toby,

and Julie was thrilled.

Until one day, something
happened at school
that changed everything.

Okay, today
we finish Macbeth.

It is the big final fight

between our protagonist
and Macduff.

The crime dog?

That is McGruff.

But we're gonna take a bite
out of Shakespeare

with the help
from our young thespians,

Toby and Hunter!

Just like we rehearsed, guys.
Here we go.

"Of all men else
I have avoided thee.

"But get thee back!

"My soul is too much charged
with blood of thine already!"

Oh, snap!

I know. Shakespeare
gets me going, too.

What the hell's
going on here?
Inspiring my students, Rick.

To beat the crap
out of each other?
Oh...

Hey! This is not
what we rehearsed!
Aah!

* One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here

* Live your life
and finally be free

* Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

LAINEY: It was March 18th,
1990-something,

and I was feeling
overwhelmed

by everything I had to do
for the music department.

Hi.

Look at this schedule.

It's jam-packed
with classes.

Leading jazz band.
Quakers Dozen.

And our musicals
have been so successful,

Glascott wants us
to do two this year.

Oh, please tell me
one of them is...
And no, neither of them are...

BOTH:
...You're a Good Man,
Charlie Brown.

Darn!
You gotta stop
asking, buddy.

Fine. For now.

God,
how did this happen?

When I started here,
all I taught was Music One
and Intro to the Recorder.

Well, it happened
'cause of you.

Since you started,
you've inspired so many
kids to love music

that everyone wants
to get involved.

I mean, look at you.
You are a rock star.

Maybe in my younger days.

Once a rock star,
always a rock star.

Well, we did open for
Terence Trent D'Arby once.

Oh! TTD!

Maybe I can move Show Choir
rehearsal to later in the day.

Or you could ask one
of us to cover for you
until you get there.

Great idea. So, can I
count on you tomorrow?

Can't. I got
a podiatrist appointment.

I've got this one toe...
I don't know
what's going on,

but flip-flops
are a no-can-do.

Uh-huh.

**

Hey, Wilma.
You got a minute?

Now that I got all these
chemicals cooking here,

I have exactly that.

Anything longer,
you're gonna wanna
wear a mask.

So, as you know,
I've been working really hard

to expand
the music program.

So proud of you.
Fifty seconds left.

Well, the music department's
become really busy,

and I've got a lot
on my plate,

so can you cover
the first half of Show Choir
this week?

It's super easy.

It's mostly just kids
in sequin vests singing
soft rock hits

while awkwardly stepping
from side-to-side.

Sometimes snapping gently.

I do love snapping.
Fifteen seconds.

I know
you're super busy, too...

I am. Ten seconds.
But don't worry. I got you.

Thank you!
You're such a good friend.

I know. Three. Two.

Oh, (BLEEP)!
You're serious!

As I was racing
out of Wilma's class,

Julie and Coach
were in the midst

of some urgent business
of their own.

I can't believe
Toby got in a fight.

The other kid
had to have started it.

Hunter has been known to be
somewhat of a bully.

Please don't tell him
I said that.

CB was definitely playing with
fire when he handed him this.

It's a novelty sword from the
Medieval Times dinner theater.

Jousting, fair maidens,
a nice piece of meat.

It's a good value.

That's what I hear.
I've been meaning
to check it out.

You will not
be disappointed.

Hey, if you get a sword,
I have a sword.
We could actually have...

Can we get back
to Toby?
Sure. Sure.

I'm glad he's okay,
but what are we
gonna do about this?

Maybe we should talk
to Hunter's mom.

Oh, no. That woman
is meaner than her son.

Please don't tell her
I said that.

The solution is clear.

Toby needs to learn
how to defend himself,

and I would be happy
to teach him.

No, Rick,
that is not the solution.

Well, of course it is.

This way, the next time
he gets picked on,

he can strike back
like a cobra with
lightning-quick fists.

Well, cobras
don't have fists, Rick.

They don't need them, John.
They're nature's fist.

Okay, enough.
I am firmly
against fighting.

I want
Toby to be raised

as a man of peace
and non-violence.

Well, as the proud principal

of a school
founded by pacifists,

I have to say...
Up top.

He can stay peaceful

while still learning
the fundamentals
of kicking ass.

I said no.

John,
I want Toby moved

to a less aggressive
English class.

I don't know.
They're all pretty rough.

You can't do that.

Because then he'll be the boy
whose aunt saved him.

He'll get picked on
even more.

As Toby's legal guardian,
that's my decision.

Because whatever happens
to Toby is on me.

Hey, I care
about him, too.

We've really connected.

We both hate snow pants
and mushrooms.

He's my guy!

Rick, I'm sorry,
but I have to go
with the wishes

of the legal guardian.

I will move Toby
to another class, okay?

Now, if you two
will excuse me,

I'd like for you to leave
so that I can
play with this sword.

LAINEY: Julie told Mellor
not to teach Toby
about fighting,

but, like always, he just
couldn't help himself.

MELLOR:
All right, listen up!

I know we're supposed to start
our kickball unit today,

but Coach
has called an audible,

and today we'll be
diving into Taekwondo.

A powerful discipline
of Korean martial arts

first perfected by masters
Jong Chang and Cha Kyo Han.

And then, of course,
made famous by Chuck Norris.

Walker, Texas Ranger?

Eh, he's more than that, Ed.
He's America's Ranger.

But, Coach, Aunt Julie says
I'm not supposed to fight.

And you're not.

You're simply partaking
in a mandatory gym class,

which today, randomly,
happens to be Taekwondo.

Now, first,
we will be learning

how to obliterate
our opponent's rib cage,

which we will simulate
with this particle board

that I borrowed
from the art department.

Do not tell Mr. Granger.

Okay. I need a volunteer.

Toby!

He didn't even
raise his hand!

Ah, yes,
but as Master Chang
once said,

the humble lotus blossom
that asks not for the rain

is the first one
to receive...

The big drop.

Get up here.

Okay, Toby.

You're gonna aim for a spot
past the board.

All right, now focus.

And strike!

Hi-yah!
(THUD)

Aah! Aah!
Oh, my...

You hurt your hand
on this?

It's basically a step above
a giant Nilla Wafer.

Oh, my pinkie's
puffing up.

I better go see Aunt Julie
in the nurse's office.

No! You can't. Uh...

Because one of the first
principles of Taekwondo

is we heal ourselves
without any outside help.

But it hurts!

We just need
to find something to...

Immobilize it
and...hide it.

Perfect!
Better.

This might actually work.

Ah, of course
it'll work.

As Master Chang said,
"A true warrior keeps
his pain hidden...

"From his...aunt."

LAINEY: Marching band
was over for the day,

so I was racing back
to my room to relieve Wilma.

* And so,
I wake in the morning
and I step outside

Thank you
for covering for me.

Oh, no problem.
I enjoyed it.

* And I scream
from the top of my lungs

* What's going on?

Whoo! Sing it, mama!
Sing it proud!

* And I say
(VOICE CRACKS) hey... *

Oh.
That's okay, Jessica.

You're, um,
trying to belt,

but you're flipping up
into your head voice.

Here, let me show you.

* And I say
(VOICE CRACKS) hey...

(CLEARS THROAT)

You know,
I ate popcorn yesterday,

and I think I got a little...
Kernel stuck in there.

Here we go.

* And I say
(VOICE CRACKS) hey...

Nope.

* And I say
(VOICE CRACKS) hey...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, I think the problem is
I'm just not warmed up yet.

I can show her.
Here. It's like this.

* And I say
hey, yeah, yeah

* Hey, yeah, yeah

* I said hey

* What's going on? *

Wow!

Uh, I'm sorry.

Is Linda Perry from
4 Non Blondes
in the building?

Ms. Howell,
that was awesome!

Do you take requests?

I have one... Sing and don't
ever stop singing. Seriously.

All right. Wilma
needs to get going.

You guys are so nice
to make her feel good.

Not as good
as she made us feel.

Yeah. She's definitely
the best singer in the school.

Oh. Like you've heard
everyone sing, Becky?

Why are you even
a science teacher?

You should totally be
a famous singer.

I think
it's safe to say

that we're all better people
for having witnessed that.

LAINEY: And just like that,

Wilma was suddenly
the rock star of the school.

**

If you're asking me
for a catch,

I've been waiting
for this day.

I can't believe
you went behind my back
and taught him karate.

It's Taekwondo.

Completely different country.
Try to be sensitive.

You know what
this does, Rick?

It makes me
lose trust in you.

I was only trying to
teach Toby how to defend
himself in a fight.

And I don't want Toby
to ever get in a fight.

What are you gonna do...
Roll him up in bubble wrap

and keep him locked
in his room like some

tiny, short-haired
boy Rapunzel?

And what are you gonna do?

Throw him into
a cage match

and let him fight
to the death?

Well, first, I'd have him
watch Bloodsport.

Not some Norris vehicle.

Jean-Claude Van Damme
at his finest.

Rick, stop trying
to get Toby killed.

I only had him
punch through
some art supplies!

Stop being
so overprotective!

Which is what I told
you not to do.

Stop being
so under-protective!

Overprotective!
Under-protective!

Over!
Under!

Hey, guys,
I hope I'm not interrupting,

but Medieval Times
has one table left
for Saturday night.

Are you in?

Ugh!

I'm gonna put you down
for a maybe...

Yeah?

LAINEY: I wasn't feeling
like the rock star
I thought I was,

so I was going to do
what anybody

who's threatened by another
band member would do...

Kick her ass out.

Hey. Thanks again
for covering Show Choir.

Oh, no problem.
I had a blast.

I'm actually looking forward
to doing it again.

You know, I can manage.

You can go back
to your true passion...
Science.

Rubber gloves and goggles
and long white coats.

So, your knowledge of science
is mostly wardrobe-based.

That's correct.
But I thought you said
you needed me

to help cover Show Choir
all week.

Nope. I shifted
some stuff around.

I am good, good, good.

Cool. I look forward
to seeing the show.

Okay, perfect.

There's nothing
I would love more

than seeing you
sitting quietly
in that audience.

With Wilma
out of my spotlight,

I got someone else
to cover my class

who I knew
could never outshine me.

(VOCALIZING)

Right, guys?

(VOCALIZING CONTINUES)

Oh, hey, Lainey.
Oh, hi!

I thought you
didn't need anyone
to cover Show Choir.

You said
you were good, good, good.

See, I was good

because the thing
I thought I had,
I didn't have,

but then the thing
I thought I didn't have...

(CHUCKLES) turns out,
I had that thing.

Lainey, what's going on?
Did I do something wrong?

Now that you mention it,
I-I didn't want to
bring this up,

but I was getting a vibe
from the kids.

It's Ms. Howell!
Look, everybody!
Ms. Howell's here!

She sure is!
(CHUCKLES)

And Ms. Lewis.

Please, come in.
Yeah!

Wait, does this mean
we can finally stop watching
CB do "the worm"?

No offense.

(CHUCKLES)
None taken.

Hey, Ms. Howell,
we all decided

since you crushed
that 4 Non Blondes song,

you should do it with us
in the recital.

BOTH: Really?
What do you think,
Ms. Lewis?

I think...
(EXHALES SHARPLY)

What choice do I have?
(CHUCKLES)

I was gonna have to get used
to having Wilma in Show Choir,

and Coach Mellor
realized he had an
intruder in his world.

Get a deep stretch,
people!

A tight hamstring
is the devil's delight.

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm Toby's
legal guardian,

and as such, I am here
to guard him, legally.

Well, you should know
that legal guardians
and parents

are strictly forbidden
from entering the classroom.

Might want to check
the school handbook.

It's called the
"Beverly Goldberg
Schmoopie-pie" rule.

I see.
Well, in that case,

I'm here as Nurse Julie
on official school business.

Oh-ho-ho,
you crafty minx.

And the school handbook
also states

that the nurse has, quote,
"the authority to approve

"any and all activities
following a P.E. injury."

Julie, he's a boy.
He's gonna get banged up.

By the time I was his age,
I'd broken seven bones,

I had to have
two fingers reattached,

and I'd taken more
shots to the head
than I can remember,

and I'm fine.

And I'd taken more shots
to the head than
I can remember,

and I'm fine.

Go ahead
and teach your class, Rick.

Just remember that you need
Nurse Julie's approval

each and every time
you'd like Toby to take
physical action.

Do I? In that case,
approval shall be sought.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

All right!
Bleacher runs!

Ready, set, go!

Except for Toby.

Nurse Julie,
may Toby run up
the first step?

Seriously?
You said I need
express permission.

Fine. Yes.
Go ahead.

Stop, Toby.

Nurse Julie,
may Toby ascend
to the next step?

Cleared for all steps.
Thank you.

Nurse Julie, is Toby
medically approved
to pull up?

Yes.
(GRUNTS)

Hold tight there,
Tobe-ster.

Nurse Julie,
permission to pull down?

This is
getting ridiculous.

Can I come down now?

Well, you could if it was
up to me, but unfortunately...

Come down, Toby.

(GRUNTS)

Whoa!

Nurse Julie,
can Toby have
a sip of water?

Word of warning,
he may drown.

**

Stop being
such a jerk, Rick.

You're the one who came
here drunk with nurse power.

Because you ignored
my wishes for Toby.

Well, that doesn't mean
you have to treat me like
I'm a danger to the boy.

Okay, that's enough.

Ed Morris just came
into my office

and said you were having
a lovers' quarrel.

Do you think I enjoy
hearing Ed Morris say
"lovers' quarrel"?

I do not.

My office, right now.

LAINEY: Glascott wanted to
put an end to their arguing.

Meanwhile, my first
choir rehearsal with Wilma
was about to start.

Okay, let's go
from the pre-chorus.

One, two, three...

(GUITAR PLAYS)
* And so, I wake in the
morning and I step outside

* And I take a deep breath
and I get real high and I

* Scream from
the top of my lungs

* What's going on?

* And I say hey, yeah, yeah

(GUITAR VOLUME INCREASES)

(GUITAR DROWNS OUT WILMA)
* Hey, yeah, yeah

* I say... *

Stop. Hey.
(GUITAR STOPS)

That got real loud
right there.

Oh, did it?

Oh, my God. Sorry.

(CHUCKLES) I must have
hit it by accident.

Let's go again, Wilma.

Okay.

* And I say

(GUITAR PLAYS)
* Hey, yeah, yeah

(TEMPO QUICKENS)

* Hey, yeah, yeah

* I said hey *

U-Uh, Lainey?
(GUITAR STOPS)

Why are you
speeding up like that?

Oh. Uh, I thought
you could keep up.

(CHUCKLES)
Let's try it again. Sorry.

* And I say

(GUITAR PLAYS)
* Hey, yeah, yeah

(GUITAR PLAYS IN HIGH PITCH)

(HIGH-PITCHED)
* Hey, yeah, yeah

(HIGHER-PITCHED)
* I said hey

Ugh!

(HIGHER-PITCHED)
* What's going on? *

What is going on,
Lainey?

(SCOFFS) I'm just
trying to jam, man.

Can we please have
a creative meeting
in the hallway?

Okay, seriously,
what's your problem?

Singing is supposed
to be my thing.

What?
You already have science,

but now you had to go
and take my thing, too!

I wasn't trying
to take your thing.

You don't own singing.

But I do here.

Until your dumb,
beautiful voice
stole my thunder.

So, now you own
thunder, too?

I could own thunder.
You don't know.

Look, I don't have
time for this.

I was just trying
to help out a friend,

but if you're gonna
act like a child,
I am more than happy

to take my dumb,
beautiful voice
and go home.

LAINEY: I had only created
more friction with Wilma.

Meanwhile, Glascott
was trying to solve
Mellor and Julie's conflict.

Okay, guys,
we gotta figure this out.

I can't have you fighting
in front of the students.

Yeah, no fighting.
Julie won't allow it.

Get bent, Rambo.

It's obvious your situation
is made more stressful

because you two
play too many roles...

Coach, nurse,

aunt, man-dating-aunt,

legal guardian,
man-dating-legal-guardian.

It's a lot.

And like my poster
so eloquently states,

"It's hard
to wear a lot of hats."

MELLOR: That says,
"Hang in there!"

Damn it!
That's supposed to be
a poster of a man

trying to balance
a bunch of hats on his head.

It was perfect
for this situation.

(CLICK)
Martha.

Please stop coming
into my office and
changing my posters.

I'm sorry.
What is your
point, John?

What I'm saying is
I wear a lot of hats, too.

Principal, friend, counselor.

And all of my hats
would like to help
all of your hats.

Well, as my principal,
can you tell the nurse
to stop treating Toby

like a china doll
with bird bones?

And as my friend,
can you tell my boyfriend

to stop trying to turn Toby
into a mini Steven Seagal?

Look, guys,
what I'm hearing is

that you both want
what's best for Toby.

Yes.
Of course.

That's what I thought.

By helping him
to prepare...
By trying to keep him safe...

...for all the challenges
he'll face in life.

...from all the dangers
he'll face in life.

You know, I hear arguments
like this all the time.

When I'm dealing
with parents.
Parents?

Parents with
very different opinions

on how a child
should be raised.

Well, the P-word
doesn't really apply to me,

since Julie's
made it very clear

that she's the parent
and I'm not.

Rick, you act like
you're completely
shut out.

You're totally involved
in Toby's life.

Sure. Driving him around,
making his lunch,

helping him
with his homework.

I'm basically
a super-jacked nanny,

and it seems to me
that's all I'll ever be.

**

I'm sorry, Julie.
I don't know what to say.

But maybe that poster does.

Seems Martha knew exactly
what belonged on my wall.

LAINEY: It had been a day
since I snapped on Wilma,

and I needed some alone time.

But CB wasn't
gonna let me have it.

Hi, Lainey.
Hey.

He could tell
something was wrong,

so he tried to cheer me up

by showing off some of
those breakdancing skills

he had been bragging about.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm,
he just kept on trying.

**

Oh, come on, Lainey.

That was my money move
right there.

I'm sorry. I'm just kind of
having the worst day ever.

That's intense.
What's wrong?

Wilma's a better singer
than me.

That's the worst day ever?

You don't get it.
I'm the one
who had a band.

I'm the one who once opened
for Terence Trent D'Arby.

I should be the best.

Look, just 'cause
Wilma's a great singer

doesn't make you
any less of a great singer.

I know,
but she's so good.
It's like...

Okay, seems like you have
two choices right here.

You can either be
jealous or petty...

Oh. Well, I guess
I'd go with jealous.

No, that wasn't the choice.

Those were both
in the first choice.
What's the second choice?

You can get over
all this stuff,

apologize to Wilma,
and continue with
your great friendship.

Thanks, CB.
No problem.

**

Wow.
Polishing your whistles.

You must really
be mad at me.

Yeah, well,
polishing them
does soothe me.

In a way,
these whistles are

the only children
I'll ever have, so...

Rick, come on.

I don't understand
why you're shutting me
out of Toby's life.

I'm not trying
to shut you out.

It's just that this
whole parenting thing

is new and
overwhelming for me,

and I am constantly scared
that I'm gonna screw it up.

Are you kidding me?

Julie,
you're an amazing mom.

Toby is so lucky
to have you.

(VOICE BREAKING)
Thank you.

And you don't have to
do this alone.

I...just didn't realize
that you wanted to be

such an active part
of Toby's life.

Why wouldn't
I want that?

I told you,
he's my guy.

I just wasn't sure
that that's a commitment

that you wanted to take on.

Well, it is.

It's all part of us.

But I should have
respected your boundaries
and not done what I did.

I know
that you were just doing

what you thought
was best for Toby.

Of course.
That's all I'll ever do,

and I know that's all
you'd ever do.

I think we just need
to do a better job
of communicating

so we can
do it together.

I'd like that.

Yeah?
Mm-hmm.

TOBY: Hey, guys.

So, um...

Some kids just invited me
to ride ATVs with them.
Can I go?

ATVs?

No, those things
are very dangerous.
You could...

What do you think, Rick?

Well, Toblerone,
that sounds super fun.

But I have an idea
that's even more fun

and not nearly as deadly.

Ooh! I like
the sounds of that.

LAINEY: Like that,
Coach and Julie

had come to an
understanding.

But as for me, I still owed
someone an apology.

Hey.

Look.

I'm so sorry.
For everything.

That's a start.

The truth is...

I was jealous of you.

That's a gimme.
No credit for that.

It's just that being
the rock star is a big
part of who I am,

and then when you
just swooped in...

(CLEARS THROAT)
Sorry.

When I asked
for your help,

which you
so kindly provided...

Back on track.

You did it
so effortlessly,

and I just felt
totally insecure.

I mean,
I'm the music teacher.
That's my area.

But I shouldn't have
taken it out on you.

Lainey, you have nothing
to feel insecure about.

It took me six years
of college to become
a teacher,

and from what I hear,

you just walked in
with barely any training

to be one
of the best teachers
here at this school.

Thank you, Wilma.

And I get
the jealousy thing.

I mean, I don't know
how I'd react

if you came in here and solved
the Quantum Theory of Gravity.

Yeah, I don't think
we have to worry about that.

(CHUCKLES)

* And I say hey, yeah, yeah

LAINEY: Letting your
guard down and admitting
your insecurities

can be scary.

You often worry what people
will think of you.

* What's going on?

LAINEY:
But if you're honest and open
with the ones you love most,

you'll find that they offer
more support

than you could have
ever imagined.

Give it up for the head
of William Penn's
music department,

Lainey Lewis!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Come on, rock star!
You take it!

**

* And I say hey, yeah, yeah

LAINEY: And suddenly,
the hardest things in life
don't seem so scary,

because you've got
a great partner
by your side

to help you
get through it all.

Jeff Gordon
takes the lead!

Crew Chief Mellor,
what's my next move?

Floor it! And do it now 'cause
the battery's about to die!

Yeah, baby!

* Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Hey, yeah, yeah

* I said hey

* Scream from
the top of my lungs

* What's going on? *

**

Toby,
why are your eyes closed?

I'm making it
more fun.

Not that fun!
Open one of them!
Come on!

Bus! Bus!

Bus!

Thanks for lunch,
Coach.

No problem. Now we know
this bucket'll fit
in the drive-thru.

(CHUCKLES)

I want you to know
that you can push
through any boundary.

I think today,
you've proved
that you will.

**

I never really
had a dad, Toby.

My old man
was always traveling.

I remember one time,
he ca...

Toby?

Toby! Toby!

Sorry, Coach!

Don't worry, Coach!
I'll catch up!

**