Original subtitles

>>Ten. Nine. Eight.

Rocket Monkeys!

Rocket Monkeys!

>>The monkeys!

>>Big red button press.

>>Pressing big red button!

>>Shiny blinky button, press.

>>Pressing shiny blinky button!

>>Fuzzy whirly pressy thing.

>>Fuzzy whirly pressy thing, check!

Come back here button!

Hold still you little pig!

Get back here! I'm gonna getcha!

Fuzzy whirly pressy thing pressed!

Total let down.

>>Yawnsville.

>>Not to disagree, but I would say that

was an impressive example of an interstellar event.

Who cares? Big deal. Whatever.

White light. Woohoo no one cares.

>>Rocket monkeys.

You're mission to day is simple yet vital.

Locate the never seen before ice plant of Brrr.

>>This sounds important.

>>Absolutely. My drink needs ice.

Chimpsky out.

>>Wally! Looky-lookit!

>>I'm looky lookying!

>>That must be the legendary planet

of

bananas.

>>Negative. The legendary banana planet is called

Bananastan. In the Banana Quadrant.

We're looking for Brrr.

>>Where's the banana in that?

>>Hmm, good point.

>>Banana ho!

Approaching giant, delicious, yet kinda

dangerous looking banana. Roger?

>>Copy that. And the name's Wally. Not Roger, Gus.

Wally.

>>Just trying to be professional here, Wally.

Roger?

>>Not Wally, Roger, just Wally.

>>Nevermind!

Giant banana ahead.

>>I'd like to get you out of your peel and

cover you in hot fudge.

>>Careful Rocket Monkeys!

My sensors are detecting the possibility

of a trap.

>>Give me some credit, Yay-Ok. I think I know a trap

when I see one.

>>At this time, I am programmed to say the

following statement: I told you so.

>>Yeah! Finally I will have my revenge on the

Rocket Monkeys.

>>Yeehaw! Best trap ever!

>>Stop eating my ship!

Stop it! You think this is some kind of joke?

I am being deadly serious here. Yes, you heard me.

Deadly. Watch and be amazed by my display of

deadliness!

>>Oh, a robot can't take care of business?

>>Have you found Brrr yet? No icy in my drinky winky.

>>I don't like the way you blew up our ship.

I'm giving you my angry monkey face here.

>>Yeah

By the way, ever heard of the planet Brrr??

Just asking. It's a mission thing.

>>Lalalalalalalala, not listening.

I have a story to tell.

A story of doom and woe that will tear the

very fabric of your puny monkey hearts.

>> Yay, story time!

>>We're both totally into woe.

>>I was a simple man back then. Not much different

than any other.

>>Hey Gus, it's banana man!

>>This is my flashback! I do the narrating. Huh?

Where'd they go?

If I may continue.

I was a simple man back then. From the first day

I encountered you monkeys, my life has been a

living agony.

You hounded me.

I couldn't answer my own phone!

Hello?

>>Take off your peel.

>>Never any privacy.

Constantly hunted like an animal.

>>I never knew bananas were animals.

>>Wow, I had no idea.

>>Silence!

You drove me to the dark side. Your relentless

monkeyness has turned me from being a simple man into

Lord

Peel.

>>Cool lightning effects.

>>My favorite was the echoey voice.

>>Watch this.

>>I...

>>Remember monkeys. Cubed, not crushed.

>>Stop blowing up our stuff.

>>Deal I won't destroy your stuff. I'll destroy you.

>>Can you keep it down? We're trying to watch

the cinder block.

>>Hold that position.

>>Welcome to my diabolical monkey destroying machine.

As I was saying. It works like so:

I fill the machine with an endless supply

of bananas. - The bananas are fed to the machine

into a relentless conveyor belt of horror. That would

be Item C. Then the bananas are stuffed into

your helpless mouths:

Items D and E.

Results?

Exploding monkeys!

You love bananas? Well love them to death!

>>Quit yacking and start packing.

>>Item B! Item B! Ooh ooh! Item B!

>>That's it, yes!

Ooh! Yeah!

Yeah!

Oh no.

>>Oh yeah. Yep.

Come to Gusy.

>>Keep em coming!

>>This is unbelievable.

>>Your machine's busted.

>>Fellas sorry for the interruption, but is this

going to take much longer? We're on a mission

and it's critical.

>>I can't believe it. Even your robot is annoying.

>>You try your best to be evil. I mean,

what more can I do?

>>So sorry to interrupt again, but I really do require

my monkeys. Tell you what, you can press your button

thingy all you want. But I put the kabash

on your missile launcher. So no more boom boom.

I told you so. I am programmed to say that.

>>Right. Hold this for me, would you?

>>No problem.

I feel so alive like never before.

>>I've had it with all three of you.

Two silly monkeys and you a metal monkey wannabe.

>>Listen, are you still using those wires there?

Ahhhh la la la.

>>I am banishing all three of you.

To the frozen, hidden-away, never to be found again

planet of Brrr.

>>You know where Brrr is?

>>Could've saved us some time if you'd told us sooner

banana dude.

>>I am not a banana dude. Stop saying that!

You're giving me a complex.

>>Oh yeah. You still got it banana man.

>>Really? Because I haven't even moisturized in-

Enough!

>>Bye.

Have fun on Brrr.

Oh, fudge.

>>Yay-Ok. Report.

>>Mission completed, sir. I am sending you some ice now.

>>Excellent work Rocket Monkeys. By the way,

what's it like on Brrr?

>>Hot.

>>Okay that makes no sense. It should be too cold

to sustain life.

>> Hot fudge sundae! Woohoo!

>>Enough with the hot fudge already.

>>You started it!

>>Nah uh!

>>Did so.

>>I didn't know it was gonna-

>>You knew, it always does.

>>You were the one-

>>That's not fair!

>>Rocket Monkeys, professionalism.

By the way, why is this ship so messy?

>>Tell 'em Wally.

>>Me? You're the one who-

>>Oh he did it!

>>Boys, just get to the monkey flashback.

>>Monkey?

>>Flashback?

>>And as Wally approached the door he heard:

click click click click.

But when he opened the door,

it wasn't surprise party for him at all. Instead he came

face to face with

WOGGITY WOOGITY!

>>Okay yes, so then what happens?

>>Wally runs around like a maniac monkey.

>>I don't get it.

>>That's the most scared I've ever been. Check it.

I lost a tooth.

>> Sweet!

>>Guys, face pain does not seem so funny to me.

>>You know nothing about classic comedy. Observe.

Boo.

Ahh.

>>See? Scarelarious.

>>I wish I understood how monkeys were programmed. I really

do. I'm going to conduct further research fellas.

>>Oh hello, I'd like to order item number 723B from

the extra super scary section. Yes and I'd like to use

my senior discount.

Last name, Chimpsky. First name, Doctor.

Thanks

>>Well hello there you handsome monkey-steak. I'd like to

fry you in butter.

>>WOOGITY WOOGITY!

>>It burns! But minty fresh.

>>WOOGITY WOOGITY!

>>WOOGITY WOOGITY!

>>Should I be finding this amusing?

>>I can't believe you.

By the power invested in me, I declare you guilty

of being hilarious! That was totally nanners, Wall.

>>I don't know, I'm sorry to tell you monkeys. I've done the

calculations, this does not equal funny.

>>Blah blah blah, don't be such a downer bot.

>>I thought you wanted to be one of us?

>>Yes. Oh Wally, yes I do.

>>Well this is how you do it. Scaring each other is

monkey fun.

>>Okay, of course it is. Scary is funny. Yes. So obvious.

When you say it like that, it makes sense. Like so...

It is an evil kitten,

shooting death bubbles.

Look out for death bubbles and mean kitten is mean.

>> He doesn't get it.

>>I think instead of telling him, we need to show him.

>> Yay!

>>Here brobot.

>> Have some tasty peanuts.

>>Oh, okay very nice. Thank you. Normally I don't eat food,

it gums up my circuity, but

why not.

There are no peanuts in this can.

Just a deadly space serpent.

The label is quite misleading.

Wait a second, was that the scary? An incorrect label?

Very amusing!

Out of left field.

>>I think we need to up our game.

>>Oh boy, very very fun. Almost dropped my bolts.

Oh that is funny and scary at the same time.

Terrifying!

>>Look! It's alive!

>>Isn't there something missing?

Scary plus monkey face pain equals scarlarious.

>>That's it I give up.

>>Brobot if you don't understand by now, then you're

never gonna be one of us!

>>Processing. To be a hilarious monkey,

I must scare Gus and Wally.

>> ♪ Scary Cave Planet

>>Greetings, scariest creature in the universe.

>>Oh my bolts, the Rocket Monkeys are going to find you

hilarious.

>>Hold that thought.

>>Is that you Wally?

>>No, I thought it was you.

>>Maybe it was me? Click click.

No, not me.

>>It's probably just the wind.

>>Yeah that's right. Out in space where there is no wind.

>>How 'bout some TV?

>>Good idea Wally

>>Thank you for that cliff. Now back to TV's Scariest

Moments Ever.

>>

>>Change the channel. Change the channel!

>>Space today is mostly sunny.

>>With 100% chance of scary!

>>Hundred percent chance of scary?

>>I don't get it.

>>Me neither.

>>Giant spider beast!

>>What he said!

>>And the monster's under the bed.

>>Not cool spider dude. You're stretching my uniform.

>>Ewww. Try flushing next time Wally.

>>Right.

>>Yay-Ok brought it! He brought it big time.

You got scared, monkeys.

Good one.

>>Yay-Ok stop laughing. It's not funny.

What did you do?

>>Actually guys, it's simple math. Scary is funny

for monkeys, plus spider beast is the scariest thing

alive, equals the most scarlarious ever!

>>Good one Yay-Ok.

>>No it's not!

>>Yes it is, the numbers are correct. Trust me,

it is the funniest thing ever.

>>A real spider beast is not funny!

>>I think it's funny.

>>And nobody asked for your opinion.

>>Oh come on G and W. Why are you running?

You're missing all the funny. Come on.

>>Recalculation. Spider beast lacking true

comedy appeal.

>>What are we going to do?

>>According to my data, the only way to get rid of the

spider beast is to scare it away.

>> I got it!

>>Is that any way to growl at your mother?

Wait until your father gets home.

>>Honey I'm home. Has junior finished

his homework.

>>No. He's been messing around with those monkeys

all afternoon.

>>You know he needs more discipline. Spare the

whip, spoil the spider.

>>So it isn't our fault at all.

>>It was totally the spider beast.

>>You have no one to blame but yourselves. And Yay-Ok,

you should've known better.

If you want to be a Rocket Monkey so bad, you can

start cleaning too. Oh, and one more thing.

WOOGITY WOOGITY!

>>Now this is scary, gentleman. Danger mode!

Repeat, danger mode.

>>You're right. Scary is funny.

>>Ten. Nine. Eight.

>>Aww Rocket Monkeys!

>>Go Monkeys!

>>Fist, foot, tail.

>> Fist, foot, tail!

>>Tail smacks foot!

>>No way. Foot totally stomps tail!

>>Since when?

>>Since I just said so.

Whah!

>>Tail smacks face!

D'aahhh!

>>Teeth chomp tail.

>>Go Monkeys, go do it. Aah, look at-

>>Hand smacks ear!

>>Rocket Monkeys.

>>Oh, hey.

>>What's the croc doc?

>>Big day today boys. I trust you're prepared.

>>Team formation.

>>Rocket Monkeys!

>>It's inspection day. Keep the ship in tip-top shape

and you'll have nothing to worry about.

>>Hmm. If by some miracle you pass inspection,

look what you get!

>>This highly impressive googly-eyed banana sticker.

>>Meh, I got a million of 'em.

>>Yes, but this one is special!

>>Yeah, sure.

>>Aaa! Aaa!

>>Aaaaagh!

Gahhh!

>>Must! Have! Sticker!

>>Not unless you pass inspection!

And if you fail, you know where you're going. Hm?

>>The googly eyed sticker factory?

>>Happy fun time Wally place?

>>Oh what? I'm not allowed to guess?

>>Behh. You go for retraining.

To the Planet of No Bananas.

>> This planet! Has no bananas!

>>No need to worry Rocket Monkeys, the Inspector

won't arrive for another 4 seconds. Chimpsky out.

>>The inspector!

>>Uh, could someone get that?

>>Coming!

Aaah!

Wh-what's with all the staring?

I don't like people eyeballing me!

>>YAY-OK, quick. Can you translate?

>>No clue. Wally's Awesome Fun Time tail smack

must have disrupted my vocal translator.

I'll need some time for repairs.

>>Don't you ever blink!?

>>So, Inspector.

How was the trip?

Inter dimensional space travel not what it used to be.

So true. So true. So-

>>Sippy?

>>What is wrong with you!?

>>What are you doing?

>>He keeps staring at me with that freaky eye.

It's totally creepy man!

>>He's the Inspector, man!

Get your priorities straight.

We're talking about me getting a laser shooting

banana sticker here. Me! Sticker! Laser shooty!

Yeesh!

Aaaa!

Red flashy button. Press.

Blue blinky button. Double press.

You'll notice everything we do here is by the book.

>>Yay!

>>Mashy potatoey.

Aaaagh!

Why do you have to be so delicious!?

>>Here's something for your report.

There's only one monkey in the galaxy qualified

to operate this complex sciencey thingy! Me!

Please! Hold the applause until the end

of the demonstration.

What? No applause?

YAY-OK!

>>

Hot cocoa?

Perhaps a nice medical professional?

>>Aaagh!

AAAGH!

Aaghh!

Phwoo! Just a dream.

Aaaaa!

Finally, some privacy.

Gaaaahhh!

Aaaah!

Gus, I can't go anywhere without big stupid

eyeball face guy staring at me!

That's it! I don't care if you are the Inspector!

I'm pressing the red flashy button!

You heard me. The red and flashy button!

That felt bananatastic.

>>Yes. Yes. That laser shooty banana sticker will be mine.

It'll be all mine!

Unless, Wally messes it up! And I just know

he's gonna mess it up! He messes up everything!

No. No! No!

Please tell me that's just a tiny planet that

looks like the Inspector!

>>Oh Gus, don't be such a gorilla. That is the Inspector.

>>Isn't space in the fall

totally 'nanas?

All the asteroids changing colors! I don't blame you

for going outside!

By the way, I hope this doesn't effect my

getting a certain sticker!

I don't know what you're saying. Hold that thought!

>>Hey! Eyeball! I'm warning you!

I'm going to count to one.

One!

>>Why inspector, have you lost weight?

Um, still have no idea what you're saying.

Keep talking, though. I hear you! Uh huh. Uh huh!

Uh huh. Robot, I really need to know what

the Inspector is saying.

>>Uh, yeah, still working on it over here.

>>Are we in trouble? Is he blaming me? And most important,

has he used the phrase "no sticker" yet?

>>I'm afraid this is a super delicate procedure.

Without the proper assistance, it may take weeks.

Vocal translator is all systems go!

>>Get! Back here!

Aha! Get back here! C'mon! I'm gonna get ya'!

>>So what's he saying?

>>In English!

>>Get back here you-

big, creepy eyeball

lookin' guy!

>>Well? What's he saying?

>>He says he just need you

to sign for a package.

And "why is this crazy monkey chasing me?"

>>A package? You mean he's not the Inspector!

He's a delivery dude!

>>It gives me great pleasure to do this.

Red flashy button! Press!

>>So, to recap. That guy wasn't really the Inspector.

I still got my sticker! And we got a package!

>>Yay! Presents! Woohoo!

>>♪ We got a

>>

>>What took you so long!?

It's inspection time!

Banana stuck in safety valve.

First aid kit made out of crackers.

Bug can't play more than

one chord.

Can sandwiches expired!

Everything expired!

And this robot. It belongs in a museum.

>>Oh please, go on, come on, I'm just a simple robot.

>>Looks like a no banana sticker report to me.

>>No..no banana sticker?

This is an outrage!

This is a travesty!

This is a mockery of a sham of a travesty!

This is a trav of a travesty ra-

>>Fist! Foot! Tail!

>>This is all going in my repo-

>>Bon Voyage! Aloha! Goodbye! And tata for good!

>>Phew, good thing I was here to take care of that!

>>Whatchu' talkin' 'bout Gus?

>>It was totally my foot that did all the work!

>>Are you kidding me? My tail's been picking up

your foot slack for years!

>>You failed inspection. It's off to retraining.

>> This planet has no bananas!

>>Bro, relax!

Just try and make the best of it! Like me!

Another mango smoothie my good man.

>>Gentlemens, are you ready for your

new winter outfits? Look! Now with a cozy tail sock!

>>Looks good! But does it hold up to my

demanding Rocket Monkey lifestyle?

Oh yeah. That works.

>>Um, mines a little snug in the monkey butt.

>>Rocket Monkey Gus, it appears

your tail has grown.

0.001 microtoids? Congratulations,

you are now a long tail monkey! Very rare!

>>

Did you hear that buddy? Very rare. Me!

Feel free to applaud!

Yes!

>>Hey! What about me? I'm special too, right?

>>Nope, a dime a dozen. Galaxy is swarming

with the short tail monkeys.

>>Bro, I'm still the same old Gus. Only with

a slightly longer tail high five!

>>Surprise!

Welcome to your new executive bathroom.

Only for you! Long tail monkey Gus!

>>It's a poop palace! Oh!

I love being rare.

>>Hey!

Where am I supposed to go!?

Oh come on!

>>What?

My tail needs extra space.

>>Where am I supposed to sleep?

At least you could've given me

a new bucket!

Oh! My monkey bone!

Duh! What happened to my chair?

>>Sorry bro, had to make room for the tail throne.

Now that's good sittin'.

>>Nuh uh.

Here's some serious sitting.

Okay! Time for project:

Tail Stretching Through Painful Methods!

Now this plan. So simple. I can't believe

I didn't think of it befo-

>>Ohh!

It's been ages. I've been so

busy with my product endorsements.

Why the fuss? Wipe with Gus!

Nice angry face. Ignoring it.

Did I tell you? I'm having lunch today with

a numero uno fan at Chay Dinas.

Gotta flip a doop. That's my new expression.

Everybody's using it. Flip a doo, flip a doo, flip a doo.

>>It's actually you.

I'm ya' numba' one fan!

I've got all your merch. Even this unreleased

copy of Long Tail Monkey Illustrated.

Epic.

>>Please, I'm not special. I throw the poop

one lump at a time just like any other monkey.

>>So modest! You're like the kind of guy

anyone would wanna be. I can't wait to get to know you.

Uh, I gotta, I gotta see that tail.

I beg you on my hands and knees.

Just give me a quick peek of that tail.

Need to see that.

Oh wow. Look. At that tail.

Oh yeah. That's the good stuff.

A tail like that should be kept in

an ultra secure location. Like my ship.

You should stop by! I've got the complete set of

Deep Space Dave Action Collectibles.

>>You do? Even Underwater Adventure Dave?

>>Aw, you know it!

>> Deep Space Dave Back in Time?

>>I've got two of those!

>>Oh! What about the

Limited Edition Table Tennis All Star Dave?

>>Match. Set. Point.

I'll be seeing you real soon.

>>Change of plans!

>>Welcome to Shay-X monkey man.

>>No way! You have the

Deep Space Dave - Jade Edition?

>>The tail! Is it damaged?

Sorry about that. I get kinda over protective with my stuff.

>>I see. Still! This place is totally flip a doo!

>>And this is my collection of

Battle Warrior Aliens Class 7, Series 3.

Very valuable.

>>Not bad. Tail's a little on the short side,

but you can't have everything.

>>Oh yes I can.

Right back down to where it was.

I made it just for you.

>>Huh. Long tail monkey exhibition.

>>Myron! Your dinner's on the hover table!

It's getting cold Myron!

>>Ma! I got a prisoner! I- I mean visitor! Sheesh!

Ugh, gotta go. But don't you worry, you'll be

processed just as soon as I get back.

>>Processed! Sounds like fun!

>>Come on!

Monkey needs a long tail!

>>Congratulations Rocket Monkey Wally!

For 001 microtoids longer! You are now

officially a long tail monkey!

>>Woohoo! All right! That's what I'm talking about!

Take that Gus!

I did it! Flip a doo!

No wait. From now on, I'm using my own expression.

Oogalagagaloy!

Zambambabadooay.

Zerkalapa-

Oodle Doodle! Good enough!

Now to grab me some sweet long tail monkey love.

>>Wow! So this is being processed!

It's not like the cheese at all.

>>Don't worry. This is a fun fun machine

to flatten long tail monkeys-

Which is to say flattens their stress.

Through relaxing massage. You like?

>>Ooh! Gotta go peel one.

You go first.

>>Wait! What are you doin'!? No, no man!

>>Hmm, that does look relaxing.

>>Myron! Time for your tooshie cream!

You don't wanna get all chapped again, Myron!

>>Quit embarrassing me, Mom!

>>Hello?

Another long tail monkey here! Oodle Doodle!

Still in the box-

Cool!

>>Ooh! What does this one do?

>>Just for slicing fur and bone. I mean.

Giving fancy haircuts?

>>Hmm, I can use a fancy trim.

>>Hold it!

If anyone's getting a trim, it's this long tail monkey!

See?

>>Two long tails?

Two- two long tails Oh man.

>>Honing in on my sweet long tail monkey action, huh?

I say flip a doo to you!

>>Well I saw oodle doodle to your face!

>>Oh yeah? Flip a doo!

>>Oodle doodle!

>>Flip a diddle ding dong doo!

>>Oodle doodle doo bop doodley bop a doo!

>>That's it! On guard!

>>Flip a doo!

>>Guys, don't fight! I'll happily cut off

both of your tails and-

>>Comin' at ya slowly! Flip a doo!

>>That's it. Gamester's gettin' angry.

Come to me, sword.

>>What are you doing?

That's a DSD Battle of Barsoo Collectible!

>>In its original packaging!

>>With articulated

sharpened action.

Sha. Sha. Sha.

>>Flip a doo!

>>Oodle doodle!

>>Sha! Sha! Sha!

>>Oh! Gus!

>>Quick Wally! Monkey slide!

>>Yowch!

>>Deep Space Dave Televator Device.

Regular short tails? Ugh. Totally not collectible.

>>Myron! Stop chasing those monkeys!

It's way past your tinkle time!

>>She's right!

>>We should flip a doo!

>>Oodle doodle!

He'd want us to take souvenirs, right?

>>Flip a doo!

>>Hey Wally. Sorry I was such a long tailed jerk back there.

>>I was kind of monkey crazy too.

I'm just glad we're back to regular Gus and Wally.

Hey! You ever notice how I've got six toes?

Pretty fancy, huh?

Wait! I count five!

Five toes!

>>Chopadoo!

>>♪ They're