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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:16,142 I just hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:25,735 - How long have you been here, anyway? - A while. 3 00:00:27,612 --> 00:00:30,407 - You missed your prom? - Yeah. 4 00:00:36,371 --> 00:00:39,791 The thing is, when I made that bet-- 5 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:44,504 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:48,508 What's up? I met a whole other person inside of you. 7 00:00:49,259 --> 00:00:53,096 There's a whole other person inside of both of us. 8 00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:20,415 Would the whole other person... 9 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,668 ...like to dance? 10 00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,505 Yes. 11 00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:31,092 - Morning, sweetie! - Daddy! 12 00:01:31,426 --> 00:01:34,137 - Why are you in here? - Why am I in here? 13 00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:36,306 It's her birthday, Dad. 14 00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:39,184 Happy birthday, sweetie. 15 00:01:42,437 --> 00:01:46,691 - What's that buzzing sound? - I just need a minute, here. 16 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,902 Maybe it's that construction. 17 00:01:49,194 --> 00:01:51,321 Where's my little angel? 18 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,198 Happy birthday, honey. 19 00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:54,574 Grandma? Grandpa? 20 00:01:54,783 --> 00:01:56,242 Rosco! 21 00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:01,539 Rosco, go. 22 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,417 - Hello. - Father O'Flannagan? 23 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:07,879 I brought your special friends from the center! 24 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:10,590 - Happy birthday! - Janey's making faces. 25 00:02:10,799 --> 00:02:12,634 It smells in here. 26 00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,886 Okay, make a wish, dear. 27 00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:17,096 No. 28 00:02:32,529 --> 00:02:33,530 Let's begin now. 29 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,043 This isn't a typical high school. 30 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:51,881 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 31 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:55,552 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 32 00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:59,931 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 33 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:03,434 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 34 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:07,188 ...and get you slutty girls over here by me. 35 00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:09,607 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 36 00:03:09,816 --> 00:03:12,652 You losers should hang out in the back. 37 00:03:12,861 --> 00:03:16,447 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 38 00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:19,450 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 39 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:24,706 They're your only friends for the next four years. 40 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:27,208 Okay, let's move it, people! 41 00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:41,514 - You need to start dating. - I don't date. You know that. 42 00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,600 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 43 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:45,643 I can't have sex before you. 44 00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:49,063 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 45 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:53,610 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 46 00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:57,322 - I'm a unique rebel. - More like you're a lesbo. 47 00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,949 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 48 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:01,534 Thank you, Daddy. 49 00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:04,746 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 50 00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:10,501 Go! Fight! Win! 51 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,052 Nice combination, Crissy! 52 00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:26,559 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 53 00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:29,187 Later, Dad. 54 00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:33,316 Hey, I'll be late to pick you up. 55 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,485 Why? A job interview? 56 00:04:35,735 --> 00:04:39,155 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 57 00:04:39,364 --> 00:04:41,908 That's good. No drinking and driving. 58 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:45,995 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 59 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,706 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 60 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,042 Bye, pumpkin-head. 61 00:04:56,589 --> 00:04:59,050 - Oh, my God! - Get out of the road! 62 00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:18,569 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 63 00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:22,240 - Hi, stud. - Hi, Jake. 64 00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:26,327 - I love that thing with his eyebrows. - Those sideburns. 65 00:05:26,536 --> 00:05:30,039 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 66 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,709 He just looked at me. 67 00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,586 - Here. You can keep it. - Tiff. 68 00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:38,548 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 69 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,591 Melanie. 70 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,802 Hey, Jake. 71 00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:44,721 Hey, Arthur. 72 00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:56,107 Here's Ricky! 73 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,317 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 74 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:03,156 Friday night I stood outside your window in the rain... 75 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,949 ...screaming your name. 76 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:09,328 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 77 00:06:09,579 --> 00:06:13,833 ...I've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 78 00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,335 ...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you... 79 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,588 ...mix tape for your birthday. 80 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:22,175 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 81 00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:25,344 See you in English. 82 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,516 Catch you guy later. 83 00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:35,521 What happening? 84 00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:39,233 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian and shit. 85 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:44,197 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 86 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,158 Did you get any action this weekend? 87 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:50,953 - I visit grandfather. - I played with my sisters. 88 00:06:51,162 --> 00:06:52,538 We're pathetic. 89 00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:56,501 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 90 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:59,378 - We're freshmen. - What's with the attitude? 91 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:03,216 - Not easy to get lucky here. - Girls are sensitive. 92 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:07,553 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 93 00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:10,223 Love me! Harder! 94 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,731 Amanda Becker. 95 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:23,653 She is so perfect. 96 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,123 Keep dreaming. 97 00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:37,834 What's up, Reggie Ray? 98 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,419 I can't wait until Friday's game. 99 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:45,174 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 100 00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:49,470 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 101 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,723 - Don't listen to him. - Austin. 102 00:07:52,974 --> 00:07:57,937 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore, isn't first-string anymore. 103 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:02,483 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 104 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,862 And now, our hometown hero... 105 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:09,407 ...first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 106 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:12,994 Malik, could you hold these books? 107 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:16,038 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 108 00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:18,749 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 109 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:24,463 ...and say things like "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack!" 110 00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:44,984 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 111 00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:48,571 - Hi, Jake. - Catherine. 112 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,448 Can I ask you a question? 113 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:53,951 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 114 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,163 - ...they always stick it in my ass? - Damn! 115 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,540 Way too much information. 116 00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:04,086 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you... 117 00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:07,256 ...that after they're done I take a huge dump. 118 00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:08,466 Shit! 119 00:09:11,219 --> 00:09:12,345 On their chest. 120 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,764 Oh, that is whack! 121 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,615 Priscilla, there you are. 122 00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:34,951 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 123 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,747 Some time to talk to you. 124 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,293 God. 125 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,755 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 126 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,761 You're leaving me for this guy? 127 00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:57,265 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 128 00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:03,020 I'm not ordinary. 129 00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:06,357 You're leaving me for this guy? 130 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,526 His name is Les... 131 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:12,321 ...and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 132 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,034 And so is his bag. 133 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,026 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 134 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,320 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 135 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,534 Being a foreign exchange student is scary... 136 00:10:58,743 --> 00:11:01,537 ...adjusting to a new school, a new country. 137 00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:05,374 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 138 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,338 You have a sunny disposition. 139 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:13,674 You got your schedule? 140 00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:24,643 Well, isn't that wonderful? 141 00:11:26,062 --> 00:11:27,104 Janey, come in. 142 00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:30,775 This is Areola, our foreign exchange student. 143 00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:33,944 Janey will show you to your first class. 144 00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:36,489 Hi. 145 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:43,871 I like your backpack. 146 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:54,507 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 147 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,801 Dude, no way, dude. 148 00:11:57,009 --> 00:12:00,346 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 149 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,891 - Down the hall, on your left. - Sweet, dude. 150 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:08,521 For the thousandth time, I said, "Swallow that thing." 151 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,564 Am I right? 152 00:12:14,819 --> 00:12:18,114 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 153 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:20,282 Who does she think she is? 154 00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:22,743 I got two words for you, Jake: 155 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:26,247 Prom queen, material. 156 00:12:27,373 --> 00:12:29,625 Austin, she's an illusion. 157 00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:33,129 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 158 00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:37,216 ...the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 159 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:40,553 ...that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls.... 160 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,307 Look, she's replaceable. 161 00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:48,644 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 162 00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:52,314 - ...any girl could be prom queen. - I smell a bet. 163 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:55,192 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 164 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,528 ...mistakey. 165 00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:01,240 I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 166 00:13:01,449 --> 00:13:05,077 ...and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 167 00:13:05,286 --> 00:13:06,912 You're on, Austin. 168 00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,081 I'll bet you lose that bet... 169 00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:12,918 ...but learn a much more valuable lesson, and win. 170 00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:14,378 In life, that is. 171 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:16,922 You're both on. 172 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,049 All right. 173 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:23,888 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 174 00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:26,015 What about her? 175 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:28,267 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 176 00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:31,061 No, way too easy. 177 00:13:31,729 --> 00:13:33,898 I have no pigment 178 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,774 Any girl with a guitar is hot. 179 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,526 I need sunscreen 180 00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:40,988 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 181 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,407 What about the Fratelli sisters? 182 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,911 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 183 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:51,040 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 184 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:53,417 - I'd do them! - I know, Reggie Ray. 185 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,962 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 186 00:13:57,171 --> 00:14:00,007 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 187 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,681 Well, bombs away. 188 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:12,811 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 189 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:16,607 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail. 190 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,985 She's got paint on her overalls! What is that? 191 00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:22,655 There's no way she could be prom queen. 192 00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:26,325 Damn, that shit's whack. 193 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,495 Aim for the head! 194 00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:46,595 Can you imagine what they do in there? 195 00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:48,264 Holy cow. 196 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:51,809 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 197 00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:55,145 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there... 198 00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:56,981 ...than it is in here. 199 00:14:57,273 --> 00:15:00,526 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 200 00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:03,946 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 201 00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:07,241 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 202 00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:17,042 Thanks, Miss Peters. 203 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:18,752 So... 204 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:22,840 ...who would like to share their poem with the class? 205 00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:28,137 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 206 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:29,388 Anyone? 207 00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:31,974 Please pick me. I'm the one. 208 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,350 Yes... 209 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,519 ...Ricky. 210 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:47,573 - "Ten Things I Love About Janey." - Oh, not again. 211 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,241 By Ricky Lipman. 212 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:54,663 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 213 00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:59,627 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 214 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,630 I love it when Janey says hi 215 00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:06,925 I love it when Janey says "See you in English" 216 00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:12,973 I love following Janey to the mall 217 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:20,105 And I love collecting strands 218 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:21,857 Of Janey's hair 219 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,568 And rolling them up 220 00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:29,490 Into little Janey hairballs 221 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:45,547 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 222 00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:51,136 - I'm not sure we should be doing this. - Quiet. I hear them. 223 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:54,556 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 224 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:59,603 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen again. 225 00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:00,979 Shit, we missed it. 226 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,189 Let's keep going. 227 00:17:04,108 --> 00:17:07,111 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 228 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,118 Jackpot. 229 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:17,579 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 230 00:17:17,788 --> 00:17:18,956 I agree-gree. 231 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:23,001 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 232 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:28,924 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 233 00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:30,551 You know what I think about poetry? 234 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,891 Oh, is that amusing? 235 00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:41,645 Is that what your generation considers humor? 236 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:52,656 This make me kind of happy in pants. 237 00:17:58,620 --> 00:17:59,955 Goodness. 238 00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:03,333 That make me kind of sad in pants. 239 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,087 Shakespeare, Molière... 240 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,007 ...Oscar Wilde. 241 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,884 These were humorists. 242 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:15,804 I'm gonna be sick. 243 00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:20,517 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 244 00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:22,686 That is true comedy. 245 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:24,855 Heavens to Betsy. 246 00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:32,446 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 247 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,576 ...is merely a parade of nasty... 248 00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,162 ...filthy, vulgar... 249 00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:44,249 ...human excrement! 250 00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:00,390 Excuse me. 251 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:16,114 - Hey, Janey. What's up? - Excuse me? 252 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:20,118 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 253 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,329 Anorexic, superficial? 254 00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:24,665 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 255 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,751 Exactly. 256 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,713 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 257 00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:33,215 Be seen in public. 258 00:19:33,674 --> 00:19:37,761 - We haven't spoken in four years. - Actually, more like six. 259 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:41,348 That time when we were in line at that theater... 260 00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:44,226 ...I was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 261 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:56,029 We're down a cheerleader for Friday's game against North Compton... 262 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,407 ...and that squad always tries to bring it. 263 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,743 - Bring what, Priscilla? - Bring it. 264 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:04,496 Right, but what is "it"? 265 00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:07,332 It's just what they bring, okay? 266 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,555 New girl. 267 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:27,352 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 268 00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:30,439 Peachy. You brought a routine? 269 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,940 Oh, you bet. 270 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:35,986 Give me an H Give me a U 271 00:20:36,862 --> 00:20:40,741 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 272 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,831 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 273 00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:50,876 I don't know about her. 274 00:20:51,043 --> 00:20:55,881 Okay. Let's get one thing straight. This isn't a cheerocracy. 275 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,591 I am the cheertator. 276 00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:01,720 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 277 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:06,600 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 278 00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:08,894 Thank you. 279 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:15,525 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 280 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,322 She'll cheer do. Great. 281 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,618 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 282 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:28,288 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 283 00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:32,042 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 284 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,628 - Goddamn it! - Blue 21! Hut! 285 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,338 What the hell? 286 00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:39,007 Nobody's covering that hole! 287 00:21:39,216 --> 00:21:42,052 Goddamn it! Let's do it again! 288 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:46,390 Marty! Marty! Marty! 289 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,393 All right, Marty. 290 00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:53,897 - Get your ass in there. - You sure? 291 00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:56,525 Just go, goddamn it. 292 00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,944 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 293 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:02,447 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 294 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,036 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 295 00:22:08,245 --> 00:22:09,788 Goddamn it. 296 00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:14,418 Listen, boys. 297 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:17,087 We got time for one more play. 298 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:20,590 - I say we get the ball to Marty. - Damn. 299 00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,593 No, I'm just happy being on the field. 300 00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:28,223 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42-0. 301 00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:30,600 I don't care what coach reckons. 302 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,395 You can't go through life being scared. 303 00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:36,940 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 304 00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:41,403 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 305 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:42,863 ...that's heroic. 306 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:47,951 Guys, I appreciate this, but-- 307 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,454 That's the spirit! Ready? 308 00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,754 What are you doing? Get out of here. 309 00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:00,589 Not here. Down there. 310 00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:01,882 Over here? 311 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:04,176 What are you doing? Over here! 312 00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:05,802 Here? 313 00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:08,346 We love you, Marty! 314 00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,140 Set, hut! 315 00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:22,027 No. No. 316 00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:25,489 No, don't throw it to me. 317 00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:28,366 No! 318 00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:57,896 - Nice hands, Marty! - I did it. 319 00:23:58,772 --> 00:24:00,774 - I'm a hero! - Walk it off! 320 00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:05,695 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 321 00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:09,157 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 322 00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:12,119 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 323 00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:15,664 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 324 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:19,709 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 325 00:24:19,918 --> 00:24:24,172 ...thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 326 00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:53,034 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 327 00:24:53,243 --> 00:24:55,328 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 328 00:24:55,537 --> 00:25:01,585 Guys, guys, guys. I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 329 00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:04,004 ...right here, right now. 330 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:07,465 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 331 00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:09,885 We always make that pact. 332 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:13,013 We've been waiting for this since puberty. 333 00:25:13,221 --> 00:25:16,641 - Two weeks ago! - I just got first hair on ball. 334 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:19,769 I don't think you understand. 335 00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:23,565 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 336 00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:26,943 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused. 337 00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:30,280 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 338 00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:34,659 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 339 00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:36,953 All right, that's it. 340 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:42,709 What in God's name is going on? 341 00:25:43,668 --> 00:25:46,046 - What was that ruckus? - I no hear ruckus. 342 00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:50,425 - I heard a ruckus. - Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 343 00:25:50,634 --> 00:25:53,386 You better watch your tongue, young man! 344 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:55,472 We were just sitting here. 345 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,725 You just bought yourself another detention. 346 00:25:58,934 --> 00:26:01,770 - That's not fair. - Cry me a river, dickface. 347 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:04,856 - You bought another one. - Eat my shorts. 348 00:26:05,398 --> 00:26:06,733 What was that? 349 00:26:06,942 --> 00:26:10,153 Eat my shorts! 350 00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:13,114 - Don't mess with a bull. - I'm shaking. 351 00:26:13,323 --> 00:26:14,991 - You got another. - Good! 352 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,786 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 353 00:26:17,994 --> 00:26:19,788 - Want another one? - Yes. 354 00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:21,998 - You got it! - Good. 355 00:26:22,249 --> 00:26:24,167 - Another one. Had enough? - No. 356 00:26:24,417 --> 00:26:25,627 - Another one. - So? 357 00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:27,796 - I can keep going. - Go! 358 00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:30,173 - Eenie, meenie, minie-- - Mo. 359 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:31,675 - Your mom was a-- - Ho. 360 00:26:31,883 --> 00:26:33,510 - He was a famous clown. - Bobo. 361 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,054 Mitch, cut it out. 362 00:26:38,223 --> 00:26:40,183 - Another one. - But I was-- 363 00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:41,685 That's another one! 364 00:26:41,893 --> 00:26:44,688 - One more for Ox or for Mitch? - Another. 365 00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:47,607 - I confused. - Shut your hole, Wang Chung. 366 00:26:47,816 --> 00:26:51,736 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 367 00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:54,281 - Next time, I'm cracking skulls. - I'm cracking skulls. 368 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:14,175 How many times have I said I'm not going to Princeton? 369 00:27:14,426 --> 00:27:16,261 I'm not pressuring you. 370 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,388 Just give it four years. 371 00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:21,933 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 372 00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:24,936 I don't want your life! 373 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:26,771 That's okay, son. 374 00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:29,441 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 375 00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:31,276 The good news is... 376 00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:34,029 ...I've got the perfect rebound girl. 377 00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:35,572 Really? 378 00:27:36,865 --> 00:27:39,617 Beverly! Could you come in here? 379 00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:47,000 That's Mom! 380 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,251 What do you say, kiddo? 381 00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:52,339 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 382 00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:56,968 Make me proud, son. 383 00:27:57,677 --> 00:27:59,763 So you in love? 384 00:28:02,349 --> 00:28:06,102 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 385 00:28:06,311 --> 00:28:10,273 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 386 00:28:16,029 --> 00:28:18,531 Janey? Sweetheart? 387 00:28:21,868 --> 00:28:23,203 Hi, Daddy. 388 00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:26,081 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 389 00:28:26,623 --> 00:28:28,583 You were passed out on the table. 390 00:28:34,798 --> 00:28:36,383 Listen, honey... 391 00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:41,012 ...I may not always be coherent or conscious... 392 00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:45,392 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 393 00:28:46,059 --> 00:28:48,186 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake.... 394 00:28:48,937 --> 00:28:52,148 Oh, sweetie. 395 00:28:54,192 --> 00:28:55,944 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 396 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:58,655 No, he asked me out. 397 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:03,618 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 398 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,621 I mean, would you give him head? 399 00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:09,666 He is kind of cute, but... 400 00:29:09,874 --> 00:29:12,252 ...he's always been a total jerk. 401 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,963 It's weird that he's talking to me now. 402 00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:19,008 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 403 00:29:23,179 --> 00:29:24,973 What do you think I should do? 404 00:29:25,890 --> 00:29:27,559 Look, sweetie. 405 00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:32,313 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 406 00:29:32,522 --> 00:29:35,859 ...because you're very, very special to me. 407 00:29:36,067 --> 00:29:40,029 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 408 00:29:40,530 --> 00:29:41,990 ...well, then I'd say... 409 00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:43,950 ...go out with him. 410 00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:48,371 You could certainly use the popularity points. 411 00:29:48,788 --> 00:29:50,582 And if Jake likes you... 412 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:55,295 ...then maybe those kids will quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 413 00:30:01,509 --> 00:30:03,178 I feel better. 414 00:30:05,763 --> 00:30:07,307 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 415 00:30:09,392 --> 00:30:11,936 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 416 00:30:19,694 --> 00:30:22,780 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 417 00:30:23,239 --> 00:30:24,365 No, not that. 418 00:30:27,035 --> 00:30:29,996 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 419 00:30:30,205 --> 00:30:32,707 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 420 00:30:34,626 --> 00:30:38,171 That girl with the glasses and the ponytail? 421 00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:40,798 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 422 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:43,885 Well... 423 00:30:45,011 --> 00:30:47,764 ...it's going to be difficult. 424 00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:50,266 But I think I can help you. 425 00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:52,477 Sit. 426 00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:57,315 For a price. 427 00:30:59,484 --> 00:31:02,278 And this time, I don't want your car. 428 00:31:04,405 --> 00:31:06,115 I want you. 429 00:31:06,407 --> 00:31:09,953 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 430 00:31:10,203 --> 00:31:11,871 Only by blood. 431 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:18,461 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 432 00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:33,893 There are three things you need to do... 433 00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:36,479 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 434 00:31:38,398 --> 00:31:40,316 First, you earn her trust. 435 00:31:40,525 --> 00:31:42,068 Come on, leave him alone! 436 00:31:42,443 --> 00:31:46,823 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 437 00:31:50,201 --> 00:31:51,953 You little shit. 438 00:32:03,548 --> 00:32:05,300 Don't you guys mess with him again. 439 00:32:06,467 --> 00:32:10,847 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 440 00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:15,518 Pick a song with her name in it. That always works. 441 00:32:33,536 --> 00:32:35,580 Janey's got a gun 442 00:32:36,831 --> 00:32:38,374 Janey Briggs' got a gun 443 00:32:38,541 --> 00:32:41,419 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 444 00:32:41,878 --> 00:32:43,338 What? 445 00:32:44,922 --> 00:32:46,966 Janey Briggs' got a gun 446 00:32:47,634 --> 00:32:51,846 So run away Run away from the pain 447 00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:53,598 Take it easy, miss. 448 00:32:53,806 --> 00:32:56,267 - Wait. - Get back here! 449 00:32:56,934 --> 00:32:59,312 Run away from the pain 450 00:32:59,937 --> 00:33:01,189 Hold her down. 451 00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:07,153 - Give me your hand! - Just give us the gun, Janey. 452 00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:10,490 After you've made her feel special... 453 00:33:11,449 --> 00:33:14,452 ...it's time to put the icing on the cake. 454 00:33:14,661 --> 00:33:17,246 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 455 00:33:17,455 --> 00:33:22,251 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 456 00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:25,505 You know, I was just making a snack. 457 00:33:25,755 --> 00:33:27,465 You want one? 458 00:33:28,132 --> 00:33:32,011 - No. Listen, Jake-- - I'll be right back. 459 00:33:32,804 --> 00:33:33,846 But I-- 460 00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:10,800 Hungry? 461 00:34:13,928 --> 00:34:15,388 I don't like sundaes. 462 00:34:15,638 --> 00:34:19,058 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 463 00:34:21,686 --> 00:34:25,231 I don't like those, either. Goodbye, Jake. 464 00:34:40,455 --> 00:34:43,416 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 465 00:34:43,624 --> 00:34:46,043 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 466 00:34:46,252 --> 00:34:48,755 And remember, son: No parties. 467 00:34:49,005 --> 00:34:50,214 I know, Dad. 468 00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:52,383 Keg coming through. Hey. 469 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:54,385 What's up, man? 470 00:34:54,594 --> 00:34:56,596 We're trusting you, Preston. 471 00:34:56,804 --> 00:35:01,058 - Where do you want the speakers? - In the dining room. 472 00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:03,519 You guys should hit the road. 473 00:35:03,728 --> 00:35:06,314 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 474 00:35:06,522 --> 00:35:09,150 We'll call you later to check in. 475 00:35:09,358 --> 00:35:11,944 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 476 00:35:12,570 --> 00:35:14,363 That's my boy. 477 00:35:17,742 --> 00:35:19,994 Jake, what are you doing here? 478 00:35:20,203 --> 00:35:22,872 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 479 00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:24,540 I can't. 480 00:35:24,749 --> 00:35:28,920 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 481 00:35:29,128 --> 00:35:32,715 I'd say you're one big fucking train wreck. 482 00:35:36,803 --> 00:35:38,346 Do I know you? 483 00:35:54,237 --> 00:35:56,864 That's it. I've got it. 484 00:35:57,990 --> 00:35:59,200 What? 485 00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:02,411 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 486 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,525 That's it. 487 00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:35,528 I did it. I'm a miracle worker. 488 00:36:39,031 --> 00:36:40,658 Gentlemen... 489 00:36:40,867 --> 00:36:43,995 ...may I present to you the new and improved... 490 00:36:44,453 --> 00:36:45,538 ...Janey Briggs. 491 00:37:21,407 --> 00:37:25,578 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 492 00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:49,393 I'm okay! 493 00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:51,562 Janey? 494 00:37:53,564 --> 00:37:57,193 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 495 00:38:06,077 --> 00:38:08,955 - Got your mom's car keys? - Check. 496 00:38:11,123 --> 00:38:12,750 - Sleeping bags. - Check. 497 00:38:12,959 --> 00:38:14,001 - Condoms. - Check. 498 00:38:14,168 --> 00:38:19,340 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 499 00:38:19,548 --> 00:38:21,884 Check! Road trip! 500 00:38:37,274 --> 00:38:38,484 We here. 501 00:38:38,985 --> 00:38:42,989 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high-school party. 502 00:38:43,531 --> 00:38:46,784 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 503 00:38:46,993 --> 00:38:49,078 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 504 00:38:49,954 --> 00:38:54,125 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 505 00:38:54,333 --> 00:38:57,044 I've loved her since I first saw her. 506 00:38:58,254 --> 00:38:59,588 Welcome to the party. 507 00:38:59,797 --> 00:39:03,300 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 508 00:39:05,177 --> 00:39:09,557 - Does she go to our school? - It's not even the same person. 509 00:39:09,765 --> 00:39:12,476 Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls? 510 00:39:12,685 --> 00:39:14,937 How did you talk me into this? 511 00:39:15,146 --> 00:39:19,859 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her glasses and her ponytail. 512 00:39:20,026 --> 00:39:23,237 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 513 00:39:23,446 --> 00:39:26,323 - Hey, I'm a complete stranger. - I'm a complete stranger. 514 00:39:28,826 --> 00:39:32,329 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 515 00:39:32,872 --> 00:39:33,914 Nice turtleneck. 516 00:39:34,123 --> 00:39:36,042 What's your name? 517 00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:39,587 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag fucker! 518 00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:41,839 Who told you that? Alison? 519 00:39:42,089 --> 00:39:44,800 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 520 00:39:45,009 --> 00:39:49,513 - Completely fake. - Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 521 00:39:49,722 --> 00:39:53,893 - She's wearing the same outfit as me. - It looks much better on you. 522 00:39:54,602 --> 00:39:56,979 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 523 00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:08,365 What's going on? 524 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:14,580 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 525 00:40:19,543 --> 00:40:21,337 She took forever this time. 526 00:40:30,763 --> 00:40:32,515 What are you doing here? 527 00:40:35,226 --> 00:40:36,477 What do you mean? 528 00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:40,439 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 529 00:40:41,607 --> 00:40:45,402 - Damn. Shit. - Yeah, I know. 530 00:40:45,569 --> 00:40:46,695 - It's whack. - It's whack. 531 00:40:46,862 --> 00:40:47,905 Hey, man, my bad. 532 00:40:48,114 --> 00:40:49,907 - Take this. - Thanks. 533 00:40:50,116 --> 00:40:51,492 Do your thing. 534 00:40:52,118 --> 00:40:55,371 - Peace out, brother. - Honest mistake. 535 00:41:03,337 --> 00:41:06,090 Hi, my name is Catherine. 536 00:41:06,757 --> 00:41:11,095 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 537 00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,977 Not scoring any cock, either? 538 00:41:18,185 --> 00:41:22,231 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 539 00:41:25,442 --> 00:41:29,864 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 540 00:41:39,874 --> 00:41:44,044 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 541 00:41:44,962 --> 00:41:47,840 It's a good night for smoking. 542 00:41:48,048 --> 00:41:50,301 Ain't that right, Sausage? 543 00:41:57,933 --> 00:42:01,604 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 544 00:42:01,854 --> 00:42:05,441 - Are you for real? - Do you want to learn or not? 545 00:42:06,984 --> 00:42:08,569 I guess. 546 00:42:19,872 --> 00:42:25,211 - See? That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing. 547 00:42:26,629 --> 00:42:28,047 Okay. 548 00:42:29,173 --> 00:42:31,175 Let's try again. 549 00:42:31,884 --> 00:42:35,471 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 550 00:42:36,513 --> 00:42:41,060 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 551 00:42:41,268 --> 00:42:45,689 - And that's what first base is. - Okay. 552 00:42:45,981 --> 00:42:47,691 Eyes closed. 553 00:43:13,050 --> 00:43:15,219 That was cool. 554 00:43:17,513 --> 00:43:18,555 Now... 555 00:43:19,390 --> 00:43:21,976 ...have you ever eaten pussy before? 556 00:43:25,229 --> 00:43:28,148 You call this a party? 557 00:43:28,357 --> 00:43:30,943 I'm a golden goddess! 558 00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:34,029 - Show us how drunk you are! - Go for it! 559 00:43:40,452 --> 00:43:42,663 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 560 00:43:43,414 --> 00:43:45,291 Janey, are you all right? 561 00:43:46,208 --> 00:43:51,297 - I told you not to let me drink. - I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 562 00:43:55,759 --> 00:43:57,386 What the hell are you doing here? 563 00:43:57,594 --> 00:43:59,888 I-- I was invited. 564 00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:04,935 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytail thing... 565 00:44:05,144 --> 00:44:08,105 ...but you're still a loser. 566 00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:17,031 Look at that. Oh, my God. 567 00:44:17,281 --> 00:44:19,491 That's going to stain. 568 00:44:24,621 --> 00:44:26,790 You're not going to cry now, are you? 569 00:45:09,917 --> 00:45:14,046 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 570 00:45:14,254 --> 00:45:15,756 You gotta wait for the right moment. 571 00:45:16,215 --> 00:45:19,968 But how am I going to know when it's the right moment? 572 00:45:22,805 --> 00:45:23,972 You'll know. 573 00:45:37,069 --> 00:45:39,238 Nobody's allowed down here. 574 00:45:39,738 --> 00:45:41,448 Janey, I just thought-- 575 00:45:41,657 --> 00:45:44,910 How did you get in here? I deadbolted the door. 576 00:45:46,412 --> 00:45:48,372 There's a hole in the side of your house. 577 00:45:54,378 --> 00:45:55,421 Who's that? 578 00:45:56,505 --> 00:45:59,925 - It's my mother. - You have her eyes. 579 00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:03,595 She died when I was 6. 580 00:46:05,973 --> 00:46:07,015 I'm sorry. 581 00:46:08,058 --> 00:46:10,310 I remember it like it was yesterday. 582 00:46:11,145 --> 00:46:16,817 Christmas, 1989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 583 00:46:17,192 --> 00:46:20,070 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 584 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,489 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 585 00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:27,244 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 586 00:46:27,703 --> 00:46:32,040 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 587 00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:36,086 She said she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin... 588 00:46:37,129 --> 00:46:39,548 ...but I knew she was going to get me that present. 589 00:46:41,091 --> 00:46:45,095 It was raining really hard that night... 590 00:46:45,262 --> 00:46:48,098 ...and the roads were slippery. 591 00:46:48,599 --> 00:46:51,935 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 592 00:46:52,144 --> 00:46:54,271 No. Cancer. 593 00:46:57,983 --> 00:47:01,528 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 594 00:47:01,737 --> 00:47:05,282 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 595 00:47:05,491 --> 00:47:08,660 It's in the past. Think about your future. 596 00:47:08,869 --> 00:47:10,537 Look how talented you are. 597 00:47:11,497 --> 00:47:16,084 I have this dream of just hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 598 00:47:16,293 --> 00:47:19,296 There's an art school, but I can't afford it. 599 00:47:19,671 --> 00:47:24,051 Unless I raise $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 600 00:47:24,259 --> 00:47:29,640 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 601 00:47:29,932 --> 00:47:31,767 Really? That's amazing. 602 00:47:31,975 --> 00:47:36,313 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger painter. 603 00:47:36,522 --> 00:47:38,565 I think you'd really like her work. 604 00:47:40,192 --> 00:47:43,904 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 605 00:47:44,112 --> 00:47:47,324 ...and some guy would come and take me away. 606 00:48:11,974 --> 00:48:13,433 - I was-- My-- - Yeah-- 607 00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,980 - My eyes were shut. - And we couldn't even-- Yeah. Totally. 608 00:48:25,487 --> 00:48:27,906 I'm gonna-- I'm gonna-- 609 00:48:28,115 --> 00:48:29,950 - I'm going to go. - Okay. 610 00:48:30,867 --> 00:48:33,662 Congratulations to the men and women nominated for prom queen. 611 00:48:44,590 --> 00:48:48,635 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think again, Janey. 612 00:48:48,844 --> 00:48:52,723 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment." The "boo" in "taboo." 613 00:48:52,889 --> 00:48:55,934 And the "suck" in "liposuction." 614 00:48:59,479 --> 00:49:01,189 Is that the best you can do? 615 00:49:02,649 --> 00:49:03,817 No. 616 00:49:04,568 --> 00:49:07,529 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 617 00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:10,699 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 618 00:49:10,866 --> 00:49:15,871 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 619 00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:22,377 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 620 00:49:24,129 --> 00:49:28,925 So you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 621 00:49:29,176 --> 00:49:31,303 We resent that! 622 00:49:32,596 --> 00:49:34,473 Why don't you just drop it, Austin? 623 00:49:35,891 --> 00:49:40,812 Jake made a few paint stains in his pants thinking about Janey. 624 00:49:41,605 --> 00:49:43,690 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 625 00:49:45,025 --> 00:49:47,736 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 626 00:49:47,986 --> 00:49:50,739 ...Mr. I-Have- a-Thing-For-Ugly-Girls. 627 00:49:53,909 --> 00:49:55,410 You mean Janey? 628 00:49:55,619 --> 00:49:59,164 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 629 00:49:59,373 --> 00:50:01,083 Bling-bling. 630 00:50:03,502 --> 00:50:05,295 Janey Briggs... 631 00:50:06,088 --> 00:50:07,714 ...is hot. 632 00:50:24,815 --> 00:50:27,651 - Hey, Janey. - Hey, Jake. 633 00:50:27,859 --> 00:50:30,779 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 634 00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:34,282 ...and there's something I want to ask you. 635 00:50:35,992 --> 00:50:38,829 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 636 00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:42,207 ...so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 637 00:50:44,251 --> 00:50:46,169 Here it is. 638 00:50:48,171 --> 00:50:51,299 See, I don't like making big speeches. 639 00:50:51,550 --> 00:50:55,220 I'm a straight shooter. I call them like I see them. 640 00:50:55,679 --> 00:50:57,639 What you see is what you get. 641 00:50:58,306 --> 00:51:02,519 Ain't nobody gonna break my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down. 642 00:51:03,603 --> 00:51:06,940 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the...? 643 00:51:07,149 --> 00:51:08,191 Yeah. 644 00:51:09,484 --> 00:51:11,570 I'd love to go with you. 645 00:51:16,241 --> 00:51:18,702 Great. Great. 646 00:51:21,830 --> 00:51:23,039 I'll see you in English. 647 00:51:27,711 --> 00:51:30,464 It's time to play some football! 648 00:51:30,881 --> 00:51:35,927 The John Hughes Wasps defend their title against the North Compton Wildcats. 649 00:51:53,779 --> 00:51:55,405 Goddamn! 650 00:52:02,913 --> 00:52:05,916 That was the fastest first half of football I've ever seen. 651 00:52:10,879 --> 00:52:14,591 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 652 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:19,554 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 653 00:52:19,763 --> 00:52:20,806 That's right. 654 00:52:21,139 --> 00:52:24,100 Well, then, you better bring it. 655 00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:26,603 Oh, it's already been broughten. 656 00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:29,648 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 657 00:52:29,815 --> 00:52:33,109 We are the North Compton Wildcats 658 00:52:33,318 --> 00:52:34,986 We're black, we know it 659 00:52:35,195 --> 00:52:37,322 We shake our big booties and show it 660 00:52:37,531 --> 00:52:39,533 We ain't white We ain't white 661 00:52:39,783 --> 00:52:42,911 We definitely ain't white Break it down, niggas 662 00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:51,628 Damn, those bitches represent! 663 00:53:01,721 --> 00:53:03,682 - Reggie Ray. - I smell a bet. 664 00:53:04,808 --> 00:53:06,184 You all right? 665 00:53:06,518 --> 00:53:09,521 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 666 00:53:14,901 --> 00:53:16,653 I got to go back out on the field. 667 00:53:19,364 --> 00:53:22,367 All right. Be careful. You only have three-- 668 00:53:23,326 --> 00:53:26,830 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 669 00:53:27,038 --> 00:53:28,623 And we're back. 670 00:53:30,542 --> 00:53:32,419 Let's go, Wasps! 671 00:53:39,009 --> 00:53:40,760 Blue 33! Set! 672 00:53:43,013 --> 00:53:44,681 That's defense right there. 673 00:53:45,932 --> 00:53:48,059 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 674 00:53:50,562 --> 00:53:53,648 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 675 00:53:54,274 --> 00:53:57,319 - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! - Reggie Ray. 676 00:53:57,485 --> 00:53:59,738 You still have another concussion! 677 00:54:02,949 --> 00:54:03,992 Come on, dog! 678 00:54:04,701 --> 00:54:05,994 It doesn't look good, coach. 679 00:54:07,245 --> 00:54:09,414 - Can he play? - He's in a coma. 680 00:54:09,581 --> 00:54:12,709 Answer my question! Can he play? 681 00:54:12,918 --> 00:54:15,712 He can't breathe. We gotta get him to a hospital. 682 00:54:15,879 --> 00:54:17,088 Listen to me right now! 683 00:54:17,505 --> 00:54:22,844 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 684 00:54:34,773 --> 00:54:37,734 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 685 00:54:38,193 --> 00:54:39,486 Blue 15! 686 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:43,782 Set! Hut! 687 00:54:47,744 --> 00:54:49,871 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 688 00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:52,207 Oh, shit. 689 00:55:11,434 --> 00:55:14,479 Wham, bam! What the fuck just happened? 690 00:55:17,607 --> 00:55:22,320 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 691 00:55:23,822 --> 00:55:28,076 - I say give the ball to Marty. - I'm just happy being on the field. 692 00:55:29,035 --> 00:55:32,539 - You'll always wonder, "What if?" - I'm a hero! 693 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:37,585 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 694 00:55:37,794 --> 00:55:39,421 You're our only chance! 695 00:55:40,797 --> 00:55:44,843 - You're a pussy, Wyler! - Do it for Marty's torso! 696 00:55:48,471 --> 00:55:50,181 You got butterflies, huh? 697 00:55:50,557 --> 00:55:51,641 Who are you? 698 00:55:59,399 --> 00:56:00,567 I'm the wise janitor. 699 00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:04,320 I impart knowledge and help youngsters overcome their fears. 700 00:56:04,529 --> 00:56:06,698 I also replace the urinal cakes. 701 00:56:06,906 --> 00:56:09,617 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 702 00:56:10,410 --> 00:56:12,328 - How did you--? - I've been watching. 703 00:56:12,495 --> 00:56:17,208 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 704 00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,294 ...whipping boys with a wet towel. 705 00:56:20,295 --> 00:56:25,175 - Can tell you kind of like that. - Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 706 00:56:25,383 --> 00:56:28,136 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 707 00:56:28,303 --> 00:56:29,345 Really? 708 00:56:29,721 --> 00:56:32,807 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 709 00:56:33,016 --> 00:56:34,517 It could've happened to anybody. 710 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,980 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 711 00:56:39,189 --> 00:56:44,152 ...and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 712 00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:48,239 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 713 00:56:48,448 --> 00:56:50,533 Right. Forget what I said. 714 00:56:50,742 --> 00:56:55,413 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 715 00:56:55,747 --> 00:56:57,540 You can do it. 716 00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:04,214 I'm going out there. 717 00:57:10,970 --> 00:57:14,516 Only 25 seconds remaining, and the fate of the season... 718 00:57:14,724 --> 00:57:19,020 ...rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 719 00:57:19,229 --> 00:57:22,357 Translation: We're shit out of luck. 720 00:57:22,524 --> 00:57:24,901 - Give me a W! - W! 721 00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:27,195 - Give me a Y! - Y! 722 00:57:27,403 --> 00:57:30,657 Give me a-- Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 723 00:57:31,449 --> 00:57:34,077 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 724 00:57:38,373 --> 00:57:39,541 Blue 83! 725 00:57:39,791 --> 00:57:41,251 Blue 83! 726 00:57:42,460 --> 00:57:44,295 I reckon I'm feeling better. 727 00:57:44,546 --> 00:57:45,880 Set! Hut! 728 00:58:29,841 --> 00:58:31,509 Oh, shit. 729 00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:50,278 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 730 00:58:52,488 --> 00:58:54,449 What the hell was that? 731 00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,312 Jake? 732 00:59:26,397 --> 00:59:27,941 Jake. 733 00:59:29,567 --> 00:59:30,777 Hey. 734 00:59:31,527 --> 00:59:34,864 - You did great out there. - I blew the game, Janey. 735 00:59:35,073 --> 00:59:36,491 I let everyone down. 736 00:59:36,699 --> 00:59:41,579 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 737 00:59:42,705 --> 00:59:44,624 ...you didn't let me down. 738 00:59:45,208 --> 00:59:46,459 Really? 739 00:59:47,752 --> 00:59:50,546 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 740 00:59:50,713 --> 00:59:53,758 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 741 00:59:53,967 --> 00:59:55,843 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 742 00:59:56,719 --> 00:59:59,430 Right, you never noticed those either. 743 01:00:00,431 --> 01:00:02,976 You taught me a lot about myself too. 744 01:00:03,351 --> 01:00:07,605 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 745 01:00:07,814 --> 01:00:09,107 Jake Wyler. 746 01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:14,320 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 747 01:00:14,529 --> 01:00:18,491 - Señor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. - What do you want, Austin? 748 01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:19,784 A life. 749 01:00:21,494 --> 01:00:22,870 And payback. 750 01:00:23,288 --> 01:00:26,457 - Come on, don't do this. - No, I'll hang around. 751 01:00:26,666 --> 01:00:31,629 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P.... 752 01:00:35,049 --> 01:00:36,843 What's going on? 753 01:00:37,010 --> 01:00:38,761 Austin. 754 01:00:38,928 --> 01:00:40,013 This isn't funny! 755 01:00:41,389 --> 01:00:42,515 No. 756 01:00:44,017 --> 01:00:45,184 I don't believe it. 757 01:00:45,393 --> 01:00:50,106 I said I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 758 01:00:50,315 --> 01:00:55,111 ...the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 759 01:00:55,987 --> 01:00:58,406 Look, I made a mistake. 760 01:00:58,990 --> 01:01:02,869 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 761 01:01:06,039 --> 01:01:07,123 What bet? 762 01:01:11,085 --> 01:01:13,796 I never said anything about a bet. 763 01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:25,808 All I said was: 764 01:01:26,017 --> 01:01:27,810 "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret... 765 01:01:28,019 --> 01:01:30,063 ...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret... 766 01:01:30,229 --> 01:01:32,732 ...that will cause him to break into a hysterical confession... 767 01:01:32,899 --> 01:01:38,154 ...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 768 01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:08,101 I wish I didn't make that bet 769 01:02:08,309 --> 01:02:11,896 That's not the guy I want to be 770 01:02:12,105 --> 01:02:15,608 If I could just turn back the clock 771 01:02:15,817 --> 01:02:20,780 Then Janey would still be with me 772 01:02:23,616 --> 01:02:26,786 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 773 01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:28,454 I love this boy 774 01:02:28,621 --> 01:02:35,461 But he has been untrue 775 01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:39,382 I'll do my best to make things right 776 01:02:40,466 --> 01:02:44,095 I wish we could resolve this fight 777 01:02:44,971 --> 01:02:46,722 It could happen 778 01:02:46,889 --> 01:02:48,433 It could happen 779 01:02:48,641 --> 01:02:52,770 - At the prom tonight - At the prom tonight 780 01:02:58,359 --> 01:03:01,320 I'm getting pussy no matter what 781 01:03:01,529 --> 01:03:04,282 Even if it with dirty slut 782 01:03:04,490 --> 01:03:07,118 True love is what I want the most 783 01:03:07,326 --> 01:03:10,913 I justjerked off in your French toast 784 01:03:11,456 --> 01:03:17,211 So what if we have the same mother 785 01:03:17,378 --> 01:03:22,758 Tonight I'm going to fuck my brother 786 01:03:22,925 --> 01:03:25,761 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 787 01:03:28,681 --> 01:03:32,310 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tour in 'Nam 788 01:03:34,687 --> 01:03:38,357 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 789 01:03:40,735 --> 01:03:44,906 I'm only in the song Because I'm a black guy 790 01:03:47,783 --> 01:03:52,580 I have no money I have to make my own dress 791 01:03:54,373 --> 01:04:00,087 Look at me My breasts are perky, yes 792 01:04:00,254 --> 01:04:03,216 I'm gonna win her back No matter what it takes 793 01:04:03,424 --> 01:04:09,680 Here I go I'm gonna forget about Jake 794 01:04:11,432 --> 01:04:13,351 Prom tonight 795 01:04:15,353 --> 01:04:17,230 Prom tonight 796 01:04:18,731 --> 01:04:20,107 Prom tonight 797 01:04:25,613 --> 01:04:28,282 It's gonna happen Gonna happen 798 01:04:31,953 --> 01:04:38,751 At the prom 799 01:04:38,918 --> 01:04:39,961 Tonight 800 01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:05,194 When I was a freshman, I threw 176 touchdown passes. 801 01:05:05,444 --> 01:05:10,783 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a sprained ankle... 802 01:05:10,992 --> 01:05:15,288 ...a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and a subdermal hematoma. 803 01:05:32,388 --> 01:05:34,473 I bet she great bonk. 804 01:05:34,682 --> 01:05:38,102 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 805 01:05:38,686 --> 01:05:42,481 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 806 01:05:43,190 --> 01:05:45,401 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 807 01:05:46,068 --> 01:05:47,528 You smell her. 808 01:05:47,737 --> 01:05:49,697 You touch her gently. 809 01:05:50,114 --> 01:05:54,744 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 810 01:05:55,328 --> 01:05:59,915 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 811 01:06:02,585 --> 01:06:04,086 Go to her. 812 01:06:16,682 --> 01:06:18,726 Be strong, Mitch! 813 01:06:31,781 --> 01:06:33,240 What do you expect from me? 814 01:06:35,201 --> 01:06:39,705 - Do you think I'll have sex with you? - No! You don't understand. 815 01:06:39,914 --> 01:06:42,041 Because I am not a cheap slut. 816 01:06:42,249 --> 01:06:45,252 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 817 01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:50,174 I give them handjobs. 818 01:06:59,350 --> 01:07:02,770 - Want to dance? - Only if we're horizontal. 819 01:07:03,270 --> 01:07:05,398 I totally heard that. 820 01:07:19,495 --> 01:07:21,372 We're dancing. 821 01:07:42,643 --> 01:07:43,728 It's funny. 822 01:07:43,894 --> 01:07:47,648 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 823 01:08:02,079 --> 01:08:03,414 Oh, God. No. 824 01:08:03,622 --> 01:08:05,791 I want to do it right here on the dance floor. 825 01:08:05,958 --> 01:08:07,126 Janey. 826 01:08:07,334 --> 01:08:10,588 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 827 01:08:22,850 --> 01:08:26,979 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 828 01:08:27,188 --> 01:08:31,776 ...to turn a uniquely rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for: 829 01:08:31,942 --> 01:08:35,321 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 830 01:08:35,529 --> 01:08:38,032 This year's prom king is... 831 01:08:38,699 --> 01:08:39,742 Marty! 832 01:08:40,493 --> 01:08:41,660 ...Jake Wyler! 833 01:08:57,134 --> 01:08:58,552 Way to go, Jake! 834 01:08:59,178 --> 01:09:02,014 This year's prom queen is.... 835 01:09:02,223 --> 01:09:03,516 You got it, Priscilla! 836 01:09:03,682 --> 01:09:07,311 - It's in the bag, Priscilla. - I don't believe it. It's a tie. 837 01:09:07,812 --> 01:09:08,854 A tie? 838 01:09:09,021 --> 01:09:10,731 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God. 839 01:09:12,358 --> 01:09:14,693 Your new prom queens are... 840 01:09:16,111 --> 01:09:19,573 - ...Kara and Sara Fratelli. - Fuck. 841 01:09:20,616 --> 01:09:24,453 - Oh, my God! - They deserve it. 842 01:09:26,872 --> 01:09:28,207 Congratulations! 843 01:09:30,501 --> 01:09:34,213 There we go! Your king and queen. 844 01:09:40,219 --> 01:09:43,597 I say we make like a tree and branch... 845 01:09:44,390 --> 01:09:46,141 ...out of here. 846 01:09:47,893 --> 01:09:49,770 All right, Kara and Sara. 847 01:09:49,937 --> 01:09:53,566 Now, it is traditional for the king and queen... 848 01:09:53,774 --> 01:09:56,777 - ...to share a ceremonial dance. - Come here. 849 01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:09,373 You smell good. 850 01:10:22,928 --> 01:10:24,972 Janey. 851 01:10:29,018 --> 01:10:31,228 Do you know where Austin went? 852 01:10:31,437 --> 01:10:35,441 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 853 01:10:35,649 --> 01:10:38,819 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 854 01:10:39,862 --> 01:10:42,531 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 855 01:10:45,117 --> 01:10:46,619 That's all I know. 856 01:10:47,703 --> 01:10:48,996 Thanks, Malik. 857 01:10:50,039 --> 01:10:56,253 You know, you're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 858 01:10:58,839 --> 01:11:00,132 You really mean that, Jake? 859 01:11:00,841 --> 01:11:04,595 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss with you the repercussions-- 860 01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,680 I actually got to go. Sorry. 861 01:11:07,431 --> 01:11:08,474 Motherfucker. 862 01:11:08,682 --> 01:11:10,601 Hold it right there, mister. 863 01:11:10,935 --> 01:11:16,190 I am not going to let you hurt Janey again, okay? Besides, I love her. 864 01:11:16,398 --> 01:11:17,566 Well, so do I. 865 01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:23,197 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 866 01:11:23,405 --> 01:11:27,534 ...and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 867 01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:31,538 I'm the cool guy who's learned the error of his ways. 868 01:11:31,872 --> 01:11:35,250 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 869 01:11:37,044 --> 01:11:38,629 Damn it. That's true. 870 01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:56,522 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 871 01:12:12,079 --> 01:12:14,123 Get out of the road! 872 01:12:14,331 --> 01:12:15,749 Hey, watch it, man! 873 01:12:16,959 --> 01:12:19,253 She's not attracted to you! 874 01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:21,797 She doesn't love you! 875 01:12:22,756 --> 01:12:25,300 You'll never be more than a friend! 876 01:12:26,135 --> 01:12:28,137 Two dollars! 877 01:12:37,229 --> 01:12:39,106 Ice dispenser. 878 01:12:39,732 --> 01:12:41,358 Six. 879 01:12:41,608 --> 01:12:45,779 Oh, yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 880 01:12:45,946 --> 01:12:49,491 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 881 01:12:51,952 --> 01:12:53,620 Get off her, man! 882 01:12:54,413 --> 01:12:55,581 Priscilla. 883 01:12:55,789 --> 01:12:57,249 Don't move. 884 01:13:02,129 --> 01:13:04,923 - What's going on? - Something beautiful. 885 01:13:05,799 --> 01:13:09,011 - Where's Janey? - Miss Run-Home-To-My-Daddy... 886 01:13:09,261 --> 01:13:10,763 ...ran home to her daddy. 887 01:13:12,931 --> 01:13:16,518 - That's for taking Janey to the prom. - You put the-- 888 01:13:16,727 --> 01:13:20,272 - That's for hurting her at the party! - This is really turning me on. 889 01:13:21,774 --> 01:13:24,902 That's for being really weird. 890 01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:26,570 Thank you. 891 01:13:32,117 --> 01:13:34,078 I don't know what that was for. 892 01:13:40,584 --> 01:13:42,252 Hello. 893 01:13:43,962 --> 01:13:45,172 Why.... 894 01:13:46,632 --> 01:13:49,843 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 895 01:13:50,719 --> 01:13:55,557 ...but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 896 01:13:56,058 --> 01:13:57,893 ...who wanted more than just sex. 897 01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:03,190 That is very admirable. 898 01:14:05,859 --> 01:14:08,779 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 899 01:14:09,238 --> 01:14:11,031 I feel the same way. 900 01:14:13,158 --> 01:14:14,952 And for once... 901 01:14:16,912 --> 01:14:20,124 ...I wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 902 01:14:23,335 --> 01:14:25,170 That is appalling. 903 01:14:29,508 --> 01:14:31,468 That really upsets me. 904 01:14:32,803 --> 01:14:35,430 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 905 01:14:40,644 --> 01:14:42,229 Will you be that guy? 906 01:14:48,944 --> 01:14:52,865 It would be an honor and a privilege. 907 01:15:03,167 --> 01:15:04,668 Janey! 908 01:15:08,046 --> 01:15:09,298 Hello? 909 01:15:10,257 --> 01:15:12,092 Is anybody home? 910 01:15:12,634 --> 01:15:15,095 Get down! Enemy fire! 911 01:15:16,597 --> 01:15:18,265 Mr. Briggs? 912 01:15:18,473 --> 01:15:21,518 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 913 01:15:21,768 --> 01:15:26,231 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 914 01:15:26,732 --> 01:15:29,151 Right. Do you know where she went? 915 01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:32,154 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 916 01:15:32,362 --> 01:15:37,075 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 917 01:15:37,367 --> 01:15:39,536 Paris. Thank you, sir. 918 01:15:39,995 --> 01:15:43,707 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 919 01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:52,674 Off the road, you glasses and ponytail freak! 920 01:16:05,812 --> 01:16:07,022 Two dollars! 921 01:16:07,481 --> 01:16:09,358 - Two dollars! - Two dollars! 922 01:16:15,697 --> 01:16:17,866 Next stop, airport. 923 01:16:18,116 --> 01:16:22,663 The red zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. 924 01:16:22,871 --> 01:16:24,373 No parking. 925 01:16:24,581 --> 01:16:25,791 Attention, please. 926 01:16:25,999 --> 01:16:31,338 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 927 01:16:36,635 --> 01:16:40,180 Paris Air, Flight 805 to art school in Paris... 928 01:16:40,389 --> 01:16:42,641 ...from Gate 122, is now boarding. 929 01:16:56,071 --> 01:16:58,448 Excuse me, everyone! 930 01:16:59,074 --> 01:17:03,287 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris that I love. 931 01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:08,000 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 932 01:17:08,583 --> 01:17:10,210 ...I may never see her again. 933 01:17:15,257 --> 01:17:16,425 Go get her, son. 934 01:17:17,467 --> 01:17:18,760 Good luck, young man. 935 01:17:21,096 --> 01:17:22,931 - Go get her! - Go for it. 936 01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:26,977 Oh, hell, just go. 937 01:17:29,771 --> 01:17:30,856 Freeze, bitch! 938 01:17:41,825 --> 01:17:44,286 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 939 01:17:50,542 --> 01:17:51,585 Excuse me! 940 01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:54,046 Excuse me, everyone! 941 01:17:54,546 --> 01:18:00,344 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love and-- 942 01:18:00,510 --> 01:18:03,889 We already heard that one. Asshole. 943 01:18:05,724 --> 01:18:10,687 This is the final call for Paris Air Flight 805 to art school... 944 01:18:10,896 --> 01:18:13,148 ...departing from Gate 122. 945 01:18:13,315 --> 01:18:14,941 Janey! 946 01:18:16,068 --> 01:18:17,402 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 947 01:18:18,487 --> 01:18:19,821 Give it back! 948 01:18:20,155 --> 01:18:23,867 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 949 01:18:37,214 --> 01:18:38,673 Nice shot, Jake. 950 01:18:40,926 --> 01:18:44,054 - Jake? - Janey. Thank God I got to you in time. 951 01:18:44,221 --> 01:18:47,641 Listen to me. I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 952 01:18:48,183 --> 01:18:50,977 - This is the final call... - Why not? 953 01:18:51,186 --> 01:18:53,397 ...for flight nonstop to art school. 954 01:18:53,605 --> 01:18:59,277 If you're finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 955 01:18:59,444 --> 01:19:01,154 Janey... 956 01:19:02,531 --> 01:19:06,243 ...I made that bet before I knew you. 957 01:19:07,577 --> 01:19:09,913 Before I really knew me. 958 01:19:11,623 --> 01:19:12,916 Oh, Jake. 959 01:19:15,043 --> 01:19:16,795 Okay, hold it right there. 960 01:19:20,924 --> 01:19:24,219 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 961 01:19:26,138 --> 01:19:29,933 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 962 01:19:30,142 --> 01:19:32,561 I masturbate to that movie. 963 01:19:35,897 --> 01:19:36,982 Do you mind? 964 01:19:37,149 --> 01:19:40,360 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 965 01:19:44,030 --> 01:19:48,910 Janey, you said you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 966 01:19:49,244 --> 01:19:53,415 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 967 01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:55,667 Oh, Jake. 968 01:19:56,418 --> 01:20:00,297 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 969 01:20:00,464 --> 01:20:03,133 - That's from Pretty in Pink. - Are you sure? 970 01:20:03,925 --> 01:20:05,010 Trust me. 971 01:20:05,177 --> 01:20:10,432 - Excuse me. What are you doing? - Let me give you some advice, Jake. 972 01:20:10,599 --> 01:20:14,519 Lose the I'm-The-Cute-And-Sensitive Popular-Boy routine. 973 01:20:14,769 --> 01:20:15,854 It's pathetic. 974 01:20:16,062 --> 01:20:19,399 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 975 01:20:19,608 --> 01:20:21,276 Stop being such a little bitch. 976 01:20:22,527 --> 01:20:27,365 And you. Miss Other-Side-Of-The-Tracks Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 977 01:20:27,824 --> 01:20:32,287 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop being such a dumb-ass. 978 01:20:35,874 --> 01:20:37,292 She's right. 979 01:20:38,001 --> 01:20:40,212 - Janey.... - Yes, Jake? 980 01:20:42,881 --> 01:20:45,592 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 981 01:20:47,802 --> 01:20:51,515 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 982 01:20:51,723 --> 01:20:56,019 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 983 01:20:56,228 --> 01:20:57,479 Which is nice. 984 01:20:58,104 --> 01:21:02,609 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 985 01:21:02,817 --> 01:21:04,736 You'll find her thong and call me a slut. 986 01:21:05,028 --> 01:21:08,198 I'll call you a cocktease and we'll break up. 987 01:21:08,406 --> 01:21:12,160 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 988 01:21:15,330 --> 01:21:20,418 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 989 01:21:22,796 --> 01:21:27,467 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big of a dumb-ass do you think I am? 990 01:21:27,634 --> 01:21:30,262 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 991 01:21:30,887 --> 01:21:32,681 No, actually, I-- 992 01:21:32,973 --> 01:21:35,475 Jake, it's okay. 993 01:21:35,976 --> 01:21:37,811 I love you too. 994 01:21:37,978 --> 01:21:39,688 We all know where this is going. 995 01:21:40,355 --> 01:21:42,399 Fucking teenagers. 996 01:21:51,866 --> 01:21:53,285 This is it. 997 01:21:53,451 --> 01:21:54,953 The right moment. 998 01:22:09,676 --> 01:22:11,553 Son of a bitch! 999 01:22:30,739 --> 01:22:32,032 Betty... 1000 01:22:33,033 --> 01:22:35,160 ...meet Apollonia. 1001 01:22:35,327 --> 01:22:37,746 We're going to have a three-way. 1002 01:28:40,858 --> 01:28:43,778 Sun's burned my cornea 1003 01:28:44,445 --> 01:28:48,116 I can no longer see 1004 01:28:48,700 --> 01:28:53,746 I'm not kidding Somebody please fucking help me 1005 01:28:57,125 --> 01:28:58,835 Quick! Grab her guitar. 70943

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