Original subtitles

FUNNY DIRTY LITTLE WAR

EVITA LIVES

Ladies, on Monday the thrifty Argentine Store begins its end of season...

clearance sale.

Horacio Guarani in person... appearing tomorrow, Saturday

at 10 PM and midnight in the Colonel Soriano Social & Sports Club.

El Santo Seed Store, balanced nutrient, best of the market,

coddles the calf, fattens it in pasture, turns it into the finest beef.

THE STORY TAKES PLACE IN AN INDEFINITE ARGENTINE PROVINCE IN AUTUMN 1974.

- See you Monday, Ignacio. - Until Monday, Juanita.

- There won't be any problems. - I don't know.

The people like Fuentes.

So we don't take on Fuentes first.

We start with Mateo.

- That doesn't make sense. - Why not?

Who's gonna believe Mateo is...

Look, your job is to arrange the strike.

How much down payment?

How much down payment?

No down payment.

Look... there...

Miguel, we're on strike.

Everyone back to the yard.

- Something wrong, buddy? - Take them all back.

Long live Peron!

- They're with Fuentes. - Leave them to me.

Hey, Suprino!

What did the bosses say in San Jose?

- Later. - But we're getting our cut, aren't we?

- But the project's stalled! - I'll see you later.

Look, am I the town delegate or not?

Then I'm the last one to know.

My wife's waiting for the refrigerator.

What a wise guy! You got a refrigerator...

Hey, you still owe me for the truck!

See you on payday.

How's it doing? The truck, I mean.

Oh, yeah, it runs like a bullet.

- The order comes from San Jose. - Quit horsing around, Suprino.

- Gotta clean out this town. - But everything's okay.

- Fuentes is a good guy. - It's not against him.

- The problem is Mateo. - The office clerk?

- Him? - He's a Marxist.

I'll be damned! Well, they can fire him.

It's more complicated than that. Gotta clean out town hall...

Orders from above.

Did you mention my request?

It looks favourable.

I don't know... if this turns out okay...

But will they transfer me or not?

Take it easy, Llanos.

I'll arrange it with the party. No problem.

Peron, Peron, you're so great...

They've gone!

Brothers!

Let's get rid of treason in town hall!

With our trade union and people's police...

We'll smash the power exploiting our town Colonia Vela

What's all this, Suprino!

Brothers!

It got out of hand, sir.

Throw out the Marxist Mateo Guastavino!

Rise up! Support the secretary general of the Peronist movement,

Let's see.

Brother Suprino!

How's the situation?

We're low on ammo.

- What? - What's happening, Reinaldo?

We're gonna get the Marxists.

But tomorrow's my sale!

We can't resist much longer, right?

We'll finish this business today.

- I'll have no advertising! - Let's go.

Where are the people? Those who voted for me?

Don Ignacio...

White flag! The Mayor.

Fuentes, this is D. Cuglielmini.

- Where's Llanos? - In the patio, I think.

- What're you doing? They're finished. - Leave to me.

What are you doing?

Gotta blast them.

With the journalists arriving?

The chief wants the flag... a celebration...

- Gotta blast'em. - Come out!

Celebration my ass!

Come out!

...to get rid of... the traitors' enemy...

Ignacio Fuentes!

...to get rid of... the traitors' enemy...

We're all Argentines. Let's talk.

who has infiltrated... into Colonia Vela.

Praise the Lord!

The town of Colonia Vela accuses you of being a subversive infiltrator.

Our Mission... today more than ever...

What can we do? Your mandate is terminated.

Ruben, come here.

That's democracy.

Surrender and be tried by the Party's court.

Don't give me orders, Ignacio.

- I'm the town delegate! - And I'm the Chief of Police!

Peron or death!

Son of a bitch! Mateo!

Wait in my office.

Come here and write.

You bring Comini.

Put two patrolmen at the town hall door.

Don't let anyone in or out.

So they want to shit on Don Ignacio...

- What are you doing here? - You said...

Watch! Gimme a drink, Juan.

Go shut yourself up, in jail!

Yes, sir.

Come on.

You've got infiltrators!

- Infiltrators? - In the town hall.

The only guy I've got there is Mateo.

He's an infiltrator!

- Where'd you get that?

Let's go, little old Torito... Up and away... Here, Juan.

- The normalizer. - The what?

Suprino. Orders from San Jose.

We've got to normalize.

But Suprino's a friend!

And he owes me for the truck.

He has orders to normalize.

But goddamnit, "normalize", what?

Tell me. You're not reading too many papers, are you?

Mateo is a Marxist communist.

- Oh, knock it off! - Fire him!

Take it, you read it!

Guglielmini.

I'm telling you...

Come on... out loud.

Are you threatening me?

Go to fucking hell! Peron or death!

He curses me...

They stole my bicycle while...

You stare into space!

That's Cervino, the crop-duster. Good guy.

Peronist.

FUENTES TRAITOR

Everything ready?

Bring me the shotgun.

What are you going to do?

Get ready for them.

Are you nuts? They'll kill you.

Those stinking cowards. Who're they gonna kill?

- I'll call Ruben - Hold it! Ruben.

He's the son of a bitch I'm gonna fight!

The Air Force is here!

Not have a son by my side.

Long live Peron!

It's just shaggy old Cervino.

Come on, Fuentes!

Ignacio!

You forgot them.

The cap? You didn't bring it.

- I'll get it for you. - No.

Go inside, don't let anyone in,

Understand? No one!

Look, look. Didn't I say we'd have fun?

Hey, cops!

Hey, you cops!

A miracle, a miracle.

Here, you jerks, at the corner!

- Can't go in, sir. - Says who?

This is not serious, Surpino. Toto!

- The chief. - He's not here.

- Who's in charge? - Sub-Inspector Rossi.

Not here either. Who's in charge?

I'm in charge, goddamnit! Attention!

Patrolman Garcia, I promote you to corporal.

What's your salary?

A hundred and four, with allowances, sir.

- It's now a hundred and fifty. - Thank you, sir.

- Corporal Garcia! - At your orders, sir!

Send Comini to find Moyano. Right away!

- Patrolman Comini! - Yes, Corporal.

Go find that loafer Moyano.

Quickly!

That's the one.

So you bombed the Labor Federation?

Don Ignacio! They want us out!

- No, I was here. - Shitty Leftist.

Take this, if they attack, we'll resist.

Why? What's happening, Don Ignacio?

You three, inside!

- They say we're Lefties - Lefties?

I was always a Peronist, I never got into politics.

- What's going on? - Pick it up.

Prepare an order making Garcia a Corporal.

Please, no.

Put yesterday's date on it.

- Corporal Garcia. - At your orders!

We must defend town hall. Watch!

Yes, Don Ignacio!

It's getting late, Cervino. What'll we do?

Don Ignacio, want to sign?

It's going to rain, huh?

Don't you worry. Go to town, tell the people.

Take this, Garcia.

When they hear the plane, turn the lights on!

If General Peron could see me!

You're going to fly at night? You're crazy.

- Go on... - You're going to kill yourself.

Get me, San Jose, the Mayor.

Go on, go on. And tell Don Ignacio...

to turn on the town hall lights too.

I'm taking a siesta, Fuentes.

- I have problems, sir. - Yes, I heard.

But the city doesn't meddle.

Solve them yourselves.

But you're the Mayor.

I was told that you're all part of that group...

like those guys.

What guys, sir?

Peronist youth types,

they hang out in your office.

They're good kids. Eager, and Peronists.

Peronists! Shit!

- What about us? - Julia.

You coming with me?

- How much do you make, Moyano? - 83 pesos.

I name you park director at 120.

Thanks, Don Ignacio, I really needed it!

Comini, give him the weapon.

The weapon, hand it over.

The journalists arrived. They're at the school.

Here, take it.

- Shall we go? - Vicente's wounded.

- What's this for? - To defend the town,

Go and stay by the window.

Terrific!

Go... Go...

Take him into the press conference, let's go.

Our life for Peron!

Who the hell ever sent me...

Goddamn you! You startled me.

You're supposed to be in jail.

I escaped. With all this hassle, nobody noticed.

You're going back,

but I'll work you over first.

Hold it, Ricardito, right there.

Wait, corporal. Juan's one of us.

He's a prisoner.

- What're you... - Prisoner of war.

We need people.

- What war? - This one.

- He's drunk. - I said he's with us.

Go up on the roof.

Uh, gimme a pea-shooter, Don Ignacio.

Here...

don't use it until I tell you.

Here.

Mateo, go with him.

Corporal!

You really got ahead fast!

Don't let him move, hear?

And remember... wait until five o'clock.

- Patrolman Garcia! - Oh, shit! The Chief!

- Come out, Garcia. - You too, Comini.

Excuse me. I want to take photographs, and talk with Ignacio Fuentes.

That's an order, goddamnit!

I'm getting out.

Nobody leaves home.

They'll lock us up. We better go.

You can't.

Wait! Who made you a corporal?

Security reasons. Your own security.

But they'll beat us up.

Sure, because I was elected delegate.

The situation's tough.

Comini!

Come out!

We'll take care of ourselves.

- I'm shoving off. - You're not leaving.

- Let's go, buddy. - One moment, sir.

They make me a corporal.

It's not in the budget.

- No budget. - Give me that.

The Mayor's coming, gentlemen. Go right in.

- Lock him in the bathroom. - Go on.

What are you doing, buddy?

"Buddy"! Get him! Move it!

- Don't ride me, chief! - Get in!

- Hey, aren't you Prudencio Guzman? - Yes.

How does this work?

I'm Rizzi.

- Rizzi? Beto! - Sure.

How long since we worked together?

It's been years.

How we fought over Peron!

Sergeant...

You were really anti-Peronist!

tell Rossi to bring the truck.

Yes, but then Peron became democratic!

Very well, sir.

I don't like this. Better call San Jose.

and it's a plot by international exploiters...

No, I'll get it squared away.

Make the announcement, Reinaldo.

who has taken Colonia Vela as a center of a criminal designs.

Brothers!

We men of Colonia Vega are launching a battle...

Any questions?

for freedom!

That's enough for me.

Fuentes, Communist chief in a Peronist shirt.

Yes, why so much police violence?

Mateo Guastavino, Marxist Leftist infiltrator.

There is no "police violence".

The Marxists attacked the peace officers.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Even a heroic Peronist brother, you see?

They are enemies of the people.

Excuse me, how were you wounded?

Drag them from their lair!

Long live the fatherland!

I was passing by...

Long live Colonia Vela!

Long live General Peron!

- Well, gentlemen... - Pardon me...

Will the Army have to intervene?

Long live Don Ignacio Fuentes!

Please, what country do you think we're in?

- What's going on, Duran? - Nothing,

You can return to San Jose.

Nothing ever happens in this country.

Press release tomorrow.

- What's that smell of DDT? - A tank exploded.

Suprino, they won't ruin my sale, will they?

- But DDT doesn't explode. - This time it did.

- Go ahead, make an announcement. - Please, friend.

Tomorrow, Saturday.

At seven p. m. sharp. In the office of Prudencio Guzman & Company.

What're we waiting for?

We'll be here all night.

My girl's going to kill me.

Brothers! Brothers!

Beware of what's happening.

Don't, that's only crazy Pelaez.

Behind all this is the Sorcerer.

Hello.

Don Ignacio. Here's brother Moran.

- The light... let there be light. - What're you doing here?

Brother Fuentes!

The Peronist youth are with you.

Christ is with us.

Fewer words and come fight, goddamnit!

Christ? You damn idiot. Shut up.

We're discussing it.

When we decide, we'll come.

Close the windows, they may throw tear gas.

They don't have tear gas.

Close them anyway. You too, Moyanito.

Moyanito...

I could resign... No!

Our lives for Peron!

Yes, but Peron is in Buenos Aires.

Moyanito...

Fuentes, Mateo, this is Suprino.

You killed him, you're the devil.

To be judged by the Party's court.

- What are you saying? - Wait, Garcia.

How about paying for the truck?

Mr. Fuentes. The light...

When the plane comes, turn the light on.

Okay, smart asses!

What, what?

He said it's a secret,

Come out or we'll blast you out!

Llanos! Stupid, big-moustached cuckold!

- Just for Don Ignacio. - Okay, but who told you?

Juan...

Aim...

No, wasn't Juan... It was Christ!

What a jerk, sending a message with this nut!

- Fuentes, you son of a bitch, give up! - Come get me, you fat bastard!

Ricardito, put that toy down, will you?

Take that, you Commie!

Juan, fire!

You could share...

Well done, fellows!

Make barricades with those boxes!

This isn't my fight!

- Back off! - Let's go, let's go.

Ricardito... You're grown up now...

Not long ago you were playing cowboys... now look at you.

Fuentes and Peron, two hearts that beat as one!

You could untie me, just to smoke.

The guys from the gang!

Shoot goddamnit!

Okay, but don't think I'm stupid.

I can use this.

Let's move!

Jeez, I really appreciate it.

Fuentes and Peron, two hearts that beat as one!

Okay...

He let it go... Seems like hail...

Ricardito, what happens at five o' clock?

The girl said to wait until 5.

For what?

To shoot you.

If no counter order comes, I shoot you at five.

It's confirmed. Reinaldo was in the union center.

They recognized him by his key chain.

Idiots!

They didn't check whether anyone was inside.

Poor kid.

He must have gone in for some papers.

He was very meticulous.

And Llanos...

Blessed Saint Barbara!

could he have been there, too?

Juan, fire!

Moyano, fire!

May I come in?

- What are you doing here? - A message...

The Peronist youth have the chief...

You withdraw or they'll kill him.

This is getting ugly.

I'm gonna talk to San Jose.

- Sons of bitches! - Take it easy, brother...

Chief.

You see what subversion is...

Rossi, prepare to attack.

- Chief, I'm wounded. - Wounded.

- Yes, I caught fire. - You ran away.

Sub-Inspector Rossi, you're now in command.

- No, I was the rear guard. - You're still gonna attack.

OK, I'll just put on some salve.

Guzman, why not invite the reporter...

Some salve first.

for a drink? It's all wet. Careful.

We're going to prepare a general offensive.

Chief Llanos!

I'd rather stay, it's a good story.

What do you want?

We'll keep you informed. Please...

The Peronist youth issued a communique.

- Communique my ass! Arrest them. - Yes, sir.

Well, then, we negotiate.

No, wait, calm down.

We'll beat the crap out of them. We've got Fuentes' wife.

Llanos, your mother's a whore!

We get the chief or we mess up Fuentes' wife!

Right. Should we announce it?

Shitty Communists! Arrest them, goddamnit!

And broadcast it so everyone finds out?

We have the right to do it.

Peron, Peron, Peron!

Go on, Rossi, do your duty.

Let's see if they blasted the chief...

Don Ignacio, here they come. Fire!

Chief Llanos is a patriot.

What time is it?

Five after two.

Jeez, how the time flies.

Ricardito... What do you people mean...

by "Socialist fatherland"? I never understood that.

Cease fire!

It's Benitez, the deaf guy.

FOR A PERONIST, THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN ANOTHER PERONIST.

I was bathing Suprino.

They've turned off the street lights.

What?

What jackasses!

All right, I'll take charge.

DANGER EXPLOSIVES

They're coming with all they've got!

- Something wrong? - No, no, nothing.

What's going on, chief?

The Lefties occupied town hall.

Fire!

- Don't shoot till I say to. - Now... Fire!

Heretics! Heretics! They killed Moyanito.

Cease fire!

Stop!

Suprino!

Fuentes is dead, we give up!

Give up, Fuentes.

What a jerk! Coming out to die like a hero.

Doctor Guglielmini,

Fuentes is dead!

How many are still inside?

What's going on, Don Ignacio?

Mateo and Garcia, I think.

The goons from San Jose. We'd better surrender.

They're nothing, ask them to surrender.

You started this, Suprino.

Let me out... Don Ignacio, let me out.

You finish it.

Don Ignacio.

What's going on?

- They're armed! - You wouldn't listen.

Mateo!

This screw-up is your own affair.

Garcia! Ignacio Fuentes is dead.

Don't fight in vain.

If they give up, they won't get hurt.

They confused me with nutsy.

Don't shoot, I'm Gimpy Duran.

Garcia! We'll confirm your grade of corporal.

You have three minutes!

Come out or we'll raze the building with the bulldozer.

Long live the Radicals!

San Jose says something else.

And we'll shoot you, goddamnit!

Who'd have thought Fuentes...

It's already screwed up.

Llanos, send a couple of men forward, mine will cover them.

I can keep my rank.

Rossi!

- I promote you to Sergeant! - Sergeant!

- From Patrolman to sergeant in only one day! - But what'll we do, Don Ignacio?

Careful, fella!

This situation is getting bad.

Let them think I'm dead.

Send three patrolmen forward,

these guys will cover the rearguard.

Tell them we'll talk.

Talk?

We can cover...

Bring the propane tank and the kerosene.

Do as I say!

And make sure they're well placed.

Chief Llanos! Chief Llanos!

I'm Sub-Inspector Rossi in command. Who are you?

- Sergeant Garcia! - Sergeant who?

Sergeant Garcia, Oscar Benito!

Garcia, don't be an ass, come on out!

They're coming with everything.

Get down!

- Tell them you're gonna give up. - Who?

- All of you. - I do as you say, Don Ignacio.

After all this?

Before, you wanted to surrender.

But now I'm a sergeant.

Fuentes! Surrender or we'll blow you to bits!

Mateo can surrender.

- Go outside, Mateo. Go ahead. - Take care, Don Ignacio.

Sure... go on.

Dirty bastards!

I'm Mateo! I'm coming out!

Come out with your hands up.

Poor Moyanito.

Better give up, Don Ignacio.

Don Ignacio, please.

I didn't want to stay but...

- We're ready. - Hey, we've got air power.

- I'll blast you, you son of a bitch! - Easy!

Knock it off.

- Shut up or I'll toast you! - All right!

Leave it to me, Don Ignacio, OK?

I'm the authority here! This man's mine.

This is over.

No, I'll show you how to treat this kind...

No, don't kill me!

Fuentes is alive... It was crazy Pelaez they killed.

Brother Mayor!

You see? They're laughing in our faces!

Send in the bulldozers.

Smash them to pieces!

Forward! All units, full power!

- What do we do with that? - Blast!

- Me? - Yes, you.

I brought dynamite.

Are you OK?

Dynamite!

Those fascists. We'll shove it up their asses!

- Fuentes? - He's caught.

They've got him in the school.

Then it was all for nothing.

We'll get him out.

But first you.

Gotta send the boys to the Capital...

They'd better disappear for a while.

The Buenos Aires newspapers will raise a stink.

Hey, you drunk, your package!

Thanks, Don Suprino...

Thank you.

Why don't they turn on the lights?

No, Torito, no, little one... don't fail me now.

That's the way, Torito...

Torito, you little old bull!

Let's go, attack!

Attack, Torito!

It's shit! They're dumping shit on us!

Come on, Torito, old Boy!

That's really crapping on them.

Hey, Garcia... Garcia!

Come here!

- Who is it? - Moran...

Get down. I'm gonna blow the wall.

What do you want?

Get down, I'm blasting the wall...

You'll kill me, goddamnit!

C'mon, there's not much time.

Wait.

Imagine me freeing a cop!

Come here, Garcia.

- What's the matter? - Too much wind. You light it.

We'll meet in Gandolfo's warehouse.

What're you doing down there, Garcia?

Sleeping, Comini.

Get out of there or...

If the General could see me...

I saw him, he must be there.

C'mon, man, let's go.

Freeze. Corporal, you son of a bitch...

Did I scare you, Juan?

- Careful, they got me. - Let me see.

It's nothing.

- Why not? Gonna keep fighting like that? - How?

With your finger? Never mind, let's find Cervino...

and blast those goons.

- First call me sergeant. - Don't bug me.

- Shitty drunk. - Precious little cop.

Raise your hands and get down!

Go to hell, you motherfucker!

Drag him out.

- What are you gonna do? - Get down.

What, did I dirty up the town?

Don't get smart-ass with me. You clown!

- Get down! - No, no,

If you're gonna kill me, better do it here.

Hold it, shorty... Who gives you orders?

Me? Nobody.

I don't take orders. Never.

That's why I'm always up there.

- Why defend him? - Who?

That guy, the delegate.

Fuentes?

Because he's a Peronist and a good guy.

Peronist!

Give us a name, save yourself!

- A name? - Who do you hang out with?

Who do you talk politics with?

Who's your best friend?

- Where is he? - Here.

Good ol'Torito.

Five thousand hours of flying, not a cough.

You're a jerk,

getting yourself killed.

Waste him, shorty.

- Stinking goon! - Shut up!

Fine boy, arrogant and stuck up.

Long live Peron!

- What time is it? - Five...

One minute to five.

Is your watch right?

Ricardito... remember... When you were little...

you'd sing: "Cop, slop, get the hop!"

You were little...

and I'd pretend to be upset with you.

Such a little rascal you were.

They've blown up the police station too.

What'll we do, sir?

Call the Army?

We'd better get out of here.

Leave the country.

You're nuts!

We fight the Lefties, don't we?

Fight the Lefties?

Fuentes...

This is Mayor Guglielmini... you hear me?

Listen to me. You and I don't see eye to eye...

but we're both old Peronists after all.

Understand?

The important thing now is to save the movement.

You agree? Can you talk?

Yes.

Accept responsibility for everything.

Say you started all this...

and that you'll make a public confession.

Come on, say it...

Say it!

You know what you have to do...

The repercussion of events in Colonia Vela...

which we'll discuss again, later in the day...

Now we'll listen to the Zorzal criollo with one of his famous songs.

See, Guzman? The Army's coming.

The Army? We're saved!

My dear old Buenos Aires, when I see you again...

There'll be no more regrets or pain.

Long trip, eh?

Will they listen?

The Colonel's a friend of mine.

It was a big mess.

The military don't like civilians shooting things up...

without their permission.

- What're you gonna tell them? - Look, Suprino...

remember our motto: the Fatherland first,

then the movement, and the people last.

So?

Your role wasn't exactly brilliant...

And after all, it was your idea, wasn't it?

Somebody must take responsibility, Suprino.

What're you doing? What're you doing?

Open up, you son of a bitch!

I'll have you shot, you son of a bitch!

I'm gonna have you shot!

Stop, stop! Goddamn you!

I'm gonna have you shot, you son of a bitch!

I'll find you and have you shot!

What're you doing? Stop, stop!

They killed him! The dirty bastards!

Not yet, little brother.

Old buddy, buddy.

Hand me the bottle... I can't see.

What happened to you?

They were... waiting... for me.

You smeared them with shit.

- So Don Ignacio won? - Sure, the goon's took off like rabbits.

Lousy break, to die just now.

Give me a hand, Garcia...

No, no. Leave me here with Torito.

So we covered them with shit!

You there, fellows.

Tell Don Ignacio, not to give in...

Look, you guys. If you talk to Peron someday...

tell him... about me.

Hey, Juan. You think he'll come?

- Who? - Peron.

Why not? And if not, we can bring him.

- You crazy? - No, why?

We'll tell him about Ignacio... and Mateo... and Cervino...

How they died for him.

When the old man hears about that, he'll be touched.

He'll speak from the balcony.

The goons will be shitting their pants.

Hey, Sarge...

Beautiful day today.

Yeah... a Peronist day.