Original subtitles

♪♪♪♪

Linda: BABE! Philip: OOH, YEAH.

[ BABY CRIES ] GET UP.

OKAY. OKAY.

I NEED YOU TO GO HEAT UP HER BOTTLE.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I'M UP.

PHILIP! YEAH! YEAH!

GET UP NOW.

BABY, I'M UP. OKAY!

YOU'RE NOT MOVING.

I AM MOVING.

[ THUD ]

DAMN!

BABE, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PUSH ME OUT THE BED!

GET YOUR ASS UP AND GO HEAT UP HER BOTTLE!

NOW YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR MAMA.

GEEZ, OKAY, I'M GOING.

MAN. GOD!

BABY, LOVE YOU!

TELLING ME, "I LOVE YOU." I LOVE YOU, TOO.

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

PHILIP!

OH, HEY, BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

WARMING UP THE BOTTLE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE SLEEPING.

NO, I WASN'T. SEE?

I WAS WARMING THE BOTTLE.

YES, YOU ARE. NO, I'M NOT.

I'M WARMING THE BOTTLE, SEE? LOOK. SEE?

THIS IS COLD, PHILIP.

IT'S ‐‐ IT'S NOT COLD.

YES, IT IS.

HONEY, I WARMED THE BOTTLE.

BOY, YOU TOUCH ME! MNH‐MNH!

TOUCH ME, AND EVERYTHING OVER HERE

WILL BE COLD FOR YOU FOREVER.

YOU PROMISE?

WHAT?

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT GOT US IN THIS SITUATION.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?

BABY, YOU KNOW I'M HALF‐ASLEEP.

YEAH, OKAY. KEEP TALKING, PHILIP.

I'M SOR‐‐ I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SORRY YET, PHILIP!

DAMN!

IS THAT BREAST MILK?

YEP.

THAT'S BREAST MILK.

OKAY! I'M UP! I'M UP!

YOU KNOW WHAT, PHILIP? NEVER MIND. I GOT IT, OKAY?

I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE, SO I GOT IT.

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?

BABY, I CAME DOWNSTAIRS TO WARM THE BOTTLE.

YOU CAME DOWNSTAIRS TO TAKE A NAP.

WELL, HELL, YOU WON'T LET ME DO THAT, EITHER.

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

THAT'S BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT,

I DON'T NEED YOU TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL.

WELL, YOU DO IT YOURSELF, THEN.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?

I'M GOING TO BED.

GO UP THEM STAIRS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, PHILIP.

GO UP THEM STAIRS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, PHILIP.

NIGHT‐NIGHT.

OKAY. OKAY.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

♪♪♪♪

Linda: PHILIP.

Philip: PHILIP IS ASLEEP.

I SEE THAT.

THEN LET HIM SLEEP!

I JUST SPENT THREE HOURS PUTTING THE BABY DOWN.

AWW!

YOU'RE SO SWEET AND WONDERFUL

AND AMAZING WIFE AND MOTHER. THANK YOU.

PHILIP. WHAT, LINDA?

WE NEED TO TALK.

BABY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YES, I'M ASLEEP, THAT'S WHAT!

OH, OKAY, SEE? SEE, YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?

OKAY, YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?

ALL RIGHT, I PUT HER DOWN. I'M ABOUT TO GET YOU UP.

YEAH, MM‐HMM.

YOU SAID YOU'RE TIRED, YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP ME,

YOU GOT STUFF TO DO.

YOU GOT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING,

YOU GOT TO WORK. 'CAUSE I DON'T ‐‐

'CAUSE I DON'T WORK. I DON'T WORK.

YOU GOT TO WORK, AND I DON'T WORK.

YOU GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP, OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT

TO HAVE AN ALARM CLOCK FROM HELL.

ALL RIGHT, MISTER GOT TO SLEEP,

GOT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING, GOT TO GO TO WORK.

[ WATER SPLASHING ] LINDA!

GET UP. WHAT THE HELL?!

YOU WAKE THAT BABY UP,

AND YOU'RE GONNA PUT HER BACK TO SLEEP.

WHAT THE HELL?!

OH, HELL, NO.

OOH, THIS FOOL. OOH. OOH.

OOH.

OOH.

OOH.

WHAT THE HELL?!

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!

WE NEED TO TALK.

IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!

NO, IT AIN'T. IT'S 'FORE DAY IN THE MORNING.

LINDA, I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP.

OKAY, GO BACK TO SLEEP.

I WILL.

OKAY, GREAT.

AWW, DAMN!

THE BED'S WET.

UNH‐UNH. NO, YOU DON'T.

LINDA, I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP.

AND I DON'T, PHILIP?

YOU WAS SLEEPING!

WHEN?!

WHEN YOU WAS UP THERE SNORING!

I DON'T SNORE, PHILIP. YOU SNORE LIKE A BEAR.

YOU SNORE LIKE A BEAR.

[ GROWLS ]

PHILIP!

BABY, I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

YOU WERE...HEARING... YOUR...SELF SNORE.

WHATEVER, BABY. I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP.

AND I DON'T?

JUST, BABY, TELL ‐‐

TELL ME ‐‐ WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU, PHILIP.

YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

LINDA?

YOU POURED A BUCKET OF WATER ON ME.

MY BAD.

OOPS.

THIS AIN'T RIGHT. THIS JUST AIN'T RIGHT.

IT'S RIGHT IN MY EYES.

HOW YOU FIGURE?

BECAUSE I'M THE ONE DOING EVERYTHING

TO TAKE CARE OF OUR ‐‐ OF OUR BABY.

IT'S JUST A BABY.

WHAT? IT'S A BABY.

THE BABY CAN'T MOVE.

EXACTLY, PHILIP. SHE IS HELPLESS!

SHE NEEDS US FOR EVERYTHING, NOT JUST ME!

OOH, LINDA, OOH.

OOH, OOH? OOH, YEAH!

LINDA, I WORK 12 HOURS A DAY.

OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH! SHE IS HELPLESS, PHILIP!

SHE NEEDS US FOR EVERYTHING!

NOT JUST ME!

I WORK, TOO!

NOT JUST YOU!

BUT I WORK 12 HOURS.

AND I DON'T? WELL...

WHAT'S A "WELL," PHILIP?

LET'S JUST DROP IT.

LIKE I DROPPED THIS POT OF WATER ON YOU?

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU MIGHT NOT THOUGHT ABOUT THIS,

BUT THE SAME BED YOU POURED WATER ON,

YOU SLEEP IN, TOO.

I DIDN'T POUR IT ON MY SIDE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? THE BABY'S KEEPING ME UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT, PHILIP?

I POURED IT ON YOUR SIDE

BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME YOU GO TO SLEEP

OR YOU TRY TO GO TO SLEEP,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE REMINDER THERE

THAT I NEED YOUR HELP, TOO.

LINDA, I'M HELPING! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ‐‐

HOW ARE YOU HELPING WHEN I ASK YOU

TO COME DOWN AND HEAT UP THE BOTTLE,

AND YOU COME DOWN TO TAKE A FLIPPING NAP?!

LINDA, THE BABY'S KEEPING ME UP.

US, PHILIP.

SHE IS KEEPING US UP.

OKAY, THE BABY IS KEEPING US UP.

THANK YOU!

BUT I GOT TO BE AT WORK IN THREE HOURS.

AND I DON'T?

LINDA, YOU DON'T WORK EVERY DAY.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID, "BABY..."

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

SAY WHAT YOU SAID, PHILIP.

LINDA... NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU MEANT WHAT YOU SAID 'CAUSE YOU WOULDN'T SAID IT

IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT, SO SAY WHAT YOU SAID.

LINDA, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT ‐‐ OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

YOU MEAN IT 'CAUSE YOU SAID IT, SO SAY WHAT YOU SAID, PHILIP.

NO, LINDA. I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE IT SOUNDED.

NO, NO, SAY WHAT YOU SAID, PHILIP, 'CAUSE YOU MEANT IT.

I DIDN'T ‐‐ LINDA, I DIDN'T MEAN ‐‐

YOU GONNA WAKE THAT BABY UP CALLING MY NAME.

I'M NOT TRYING TO WAKE THE BABY UP CALLING YOUR NAME.

THEN SAY WHAT YOU SAID.

LINDA, I DIDN'T MEAN IT, OKAY? OKAY, WELL, WAIT, LOOK.

YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE IT SOUNDED WHEN I HEARD IT?

I HEARD IT LIKE IT SOUNDED.

LINDA! NOW ‐‐

FINISH SAYING WHAT YOU WERE SAYING, PHILIP.

OKAY, WE'RE BOTH SLEEP‐DEPRIVED.

SOME OF US MORE THAN OTHERS.

LINDA, COME ON, BABY, OKAY?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO ‐‐ YEAH.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT. YOU MEANT IT, PHILIP.

I'M SORRY, HONEY. I'M SORRY.

FOR WHAT?

WHAT YOU SORRY FOR, PHILIP?

OOH.

OOH.

WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?

I'M SORRY FOR SUGGESTING

THAT MY WORK IS HARDER THAN YOURS.

BUT HERE'S THE THING.

YOU DIDN'T SUGGEST IT, YOU SAID IT.

I'M SORRY.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

SO, YOU DON'T THINK WHAT I DO IS HARD WORK.

NO, I DIDN'T ‐‐ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU DON'T THINK TAKING CARE OF A NEWBORN LIFE IS HARD WORK.

IT IS! IT IS!

YOU KNOW WHAT? HOW ABOUT THIS?

I HAVE POURED MILK ENOUGH FOR THE DAY.

I HAVE CHANGED HER DIAPER.

SHE HAS CLEAN CLOTHES.

YOU KNOW HOW TO FEED HER, YOU KNOW HOW TO CHANGE HER,

AND YOU KNOW HOW TO SWADDLE HER.

I'MMA CHANGE MY CLOTHES, AND I'M OUT.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

HA, HA, IT'S 'FORE DAY IN THE MORNING.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS I'MMA LEAVE YOU TODAY

TO SHOW ME HOW HARD IT IS NOT.

I GOT TO GO TO WORK.

THEN YOU GOT TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

LINDA!

LINDA, WHERE YOU GOING?!

LINDA!

LINDA!

OOH!

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

I GOT THIS.

I'M THE MAN.

HUH? AND I'MMA DO THIS.

I'MMA SHOW YOU I COULD DO THIS!

'CAUSE I'M A ‐‐ [ DOOR SLAMS ]

[ BABY CRYING ]

AW, DAMN.

I'M COMING, BABY! I'M COMING.

♪♪♪♪

DANNY?

DANNY! YOU ARE TAKING ‐‐ OOH!

YOU ARE TAKING FOREVER. YOU ARE JUST LIKE A WOMAN.

DANNY, COME ON, NOW.

HOW MANY TIMES YOU GONNA BRUSH YOUR HAIR?

THANK YOU.

I ONLY BRUSHED IT ONCE.

BABY, YOU LIKE THIS DRESS?

YEAH, I LOVE IT. THANK YOU.

IT'S 'CAUSE I PICKED IT OUT.

MM.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS TIE, THOUGH.

WHEN I GAVE YOU THAT TIE, YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT.

OH, YEAH, I LOVE THIS TIE!

HMM.

BUT I‐I MEANT THE SUIT.

I GAVE YOU THAT, TOO.

OH, YEAH! LOVE THIS SUIT.

MM.

BUT I MEANT MY SHOES.

I GAVE YOU THOSE SHOES, DANNY.

THE SHIRT?

THAT WAS FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.

WE AIN'T BEEN MARRIED THAT LONG.

YOU KNOW WHAT? AND IF YOU KEEP THIS UP,

WE WON'T BE. TRUST ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT, BABY, REALLY,

YOU NEED TO STOP BUYING ME EVERY DAMN THING.

I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DRESS MYSELF.

MM‐HMM.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT BIG BOYS DO.

BUT I MEANT I DIDN'T LIKE THE DRAWERS.

I BOUGHT YOU THEM DAMN DRAWERS, TOO.

BABY, I'M NOT A BOXER MAN.

YOU NEED TO BE BECAUSE I WAS SICK

OF SEEING YOU IN THOSE BRIEFS.

SO TIRED OF THOSE DAMN TIGHTY WHITEYS.

LOOKING LIKE A LITTLE BUNDLE OF GRAPES.

PEOPLE LOVE GRAPES.

IT'S MY FAVORITE FRUIT, ESPECIALLY IN SMOOTHIES.

LET'S GO. COME ON. COME ON.

[ CHUCKLES ] MY FAVORITE.

ARE YOU CONCEALING ANY WEAPONS?

OH, MAYBE.

OH, HEY! HEY! HEY.

‐HEY. ‐HI, GUYS. ‐HI.

YOU GUYS READY TO CARPOOL?!

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] YEAH.

YOU KNOW IT!

Both: VIVA EARTH!

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

UH, GIRL, YOUR LIPSTICK IS ALL MESSED UP.

[ AS THE JOKER ] WHY SO SERIOUS?

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

AND YOUR DRESS?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?

IT'S UP IN THE BACK.

YEAH, YOUR BOOTY PADS ARE SHOWING.

OH, ALL RIGHT, LET ME ‐‐ LET ME FIX THAT.

THERE WE GO. WE GOOD, RIGHT? IT'S GOOD?

NOPE. OH, DAMN, I'M SLIPPING.

AND SAM, YOUR FLY'S UNZIPPED.

WHY YOU LOOKING AT IT?

I'M NOT! THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW?

JUST ZIP IT! YEAH, ZIP IT, SAM!

ALL RIGHT. [ GASPS ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN

LOOKING REALLY UNKEMPT LATELY

COMING OUT OF THE APARTMENT.

RIGHT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

NOTHING!

OH, I KNOW WHAT'S UP. WHAT'S UP?

NO, YOU DON'T.

MM‐HMM. HE'S BEEN KEEPING YOU UP ALL NIGHT.

TO SAY THE LEAST.

YEAH, DOING A WHOLE LOT OF PARTYING

WITH A WHOLE LOT OF WOMEN, HUH?

NO. ONLY ONE.

OH!

SO, YOU FINALLY FOUND A FOOL?

WELL, WHY SHE GOT TO BE A FOOL?

YOU KNOW SAM.

YEAH, I‐I DO.

SO, YOU KNOW SHE'S A HO.

I WILL BUST YOUR ‐‐

HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

HEY! HEY!

OKAY, OKAY, WE'RE OFF TO WORK!

OKAY. LET'S DO IT.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

YEAH, I'LL TAKE MY PURSE. THANK YOU. I GOT IT.

BYE.

LINDA: Danny. HEY, MAMA.

CAN YOU COME BY MY HOUSE ON YOUR WAY TO WORK?

SURE CAN. GOT THE WHOLE GANG WITH ME.

NO, NO, BABY, JUST YOU. OH, OKAY.

Okay, great. Thank you.

HEY, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

YEAH, IT'S ‐‐ IT'S FINE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW.

OKAY, GREAT. OKAY.

LOVE YOU! MEAN IT! ONE, TWO, THREE, KISSES!

YEAH, OKAY. MM. BYE, BABY.

LOVE DOING THAT.

DO YOU LIKE MY TIE?

UHH...

UHH...

♪♪♪♪

[ Line ringing ]

HATTIE: Hey! Hello?

MAMA. Hey, babe.

What's going on? FLOYD: Hey!

OH, GOOD, UNCLE FLOYD'S THERE.

Yeah, unfortunately.

I NEED YOU TWO TO COME BY THE HOUSE.

Okay, what do you need me for, babe?

I‐I JUST NEED YOU.

Okay, you gonna maybe pay me?

MAMA, I JUST NEED YOU TO COME BY THE HOUSE.

Okay, great, and I'm just gonna need a little money.

MAMA!

Well, I'mma need you put a little something in on it

for me to come over there!

OKAY, MAMA, I GOT FIVE ON IT.

No, precious, I'm gonna need at least one Tubman.

I need two Tubmans. Just give me two Tubmans.

OKAY, GREAT, MAMA, I GOT TWO TUBMANS. I GOT YOU.

Okay, then. Great.

AND BRING UNCLE FLOYD, TOO, THOUGH, OKAY?

You gonna maybe put a little something in it for him, too?

MAMA, JUST COME ON!

I'mma need about $400 worth of Tubmans for my trouble.

OKAY, FINE, MAMA, JUST COME ON.

Okay, yeah, I'll be there.

Give me a good chance to see my grandbaby!

You know that baby's so ‐‐ that baby looks just like me!

Quit lying.

JUST COME ON, MAMA.

All right, I'll see you, precious.

OKAY, GREAT. THANKS.

Okay, great. Bye. BYE.

♪♪♪♪

UH, MAMA?

HEY. HEY, BABY. HEY, BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

I'M TEACHING PHILIP A LESSON!

WHAT KIND OF LESSON?

IS IT SOMETHING SEXUAL?

WELL... [ CLICKS TONGUE ]

THAT LIP POP, THAT'S HOW ME AND MY SISTER GOT HERE.

THAT'S HOW IT STARTS.

WELL...

HEY!

OH, OH, OH, OH, OH.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY, HOW YOU DOING? HEY, HEY.

HEY, Y'ALL.

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

PHILIP IS INSIDE WITH THE BABY BY HIMSELF.

OKAY, GREAT?

AND HE PUT YOU OUT?

NO, MAMA, I LEFT.

WHY?! WE'RE WHISPERING.

BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK

TAKING CARE OF THE BABY WAS HARD WORK,

SO I LEFT HIM IN THERE WITH HER ALL DAY...BY HIMSELF.

AND YOU'VE BEEN OUT HERE ALL THIS TIME?

YEAH, I WASN'T GONNA GO THAT FAR WITH HIM

WITH MY BABY BY HIMSELF.

AND WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?

I JUST NEED Y'ALL TO GO IN THERE, ONE BY ONE,

AND JUST CHECK ON HIM.

I AIN'T DOING THAT! SHH, MAMA!

HEY, I GOT THINGS TO DO.

AND I GOT TO GO TO WORK!

ME, TOO, MAMA, I GOT TO GO TO WORK.

LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN!

I WILL PAY Y'ALL. TUBMANS ALL AROUND.

OKAY.

OKAY, ME, FIRST.

I WAS FIRST. I'M HER SON.

LOOK, SHE GOT MONEY OFF OF ME FOR GAS.

WELL, I HAD THE HO,

SO Y'ALL AIN'T GETTING NOTHING.

GRANDMA!

SHE GOT A POINT. MM.