Original subtitles

♪♪♪♪

OH, I LOVED THAT MOVIE.

I DID, TOO.

THANKS FOR SUGGESTING IT, TROY.

I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA LIKE IT. HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE IT HAD EVERYTHING WE LOVE ‐‐

ROMANCE, LOVE, PASSION.

Philip: YEAH, AND EVERYTHING WE HATE.

RIGHT.

WHATEVER.

WHAT?

DANNY, YOU KNOW YOU LOVED THAT MOVIE.

PSH, NO, I DIDN'T.

PSH, YES, YOU DID.

AND SO DID PHILIP.

IT WAS ALL RIGHT...

FOR A CHICK FLICK.

THAT'S REAL FUNNY HOW YOU TWO CLAIM YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT,

BUT YOU SURE DID CRY DURING THE WHOLE FILM.

WH‐‐ US? [ LAUGHS ]

NAH, NAH. PLEASE. AW, YOU TRIPPIN'.

WE WEREN'T CRYING.

NAH, WE WEREN'T CRYING. THAT AIN'T WHAT WE DO.

WE'RE MEN.

MEN DON'T CRY.

MM.

OH, YOU DON'T?

YES, HE DOES.

SO, HOW'S IT BEEN SINCE SAM MOVED OUT?

HMM, WHAT MADE YOU BRING THAT UP?

MEN CRYING.

‐SO, DID HE? ‐HMM?

DID HE CRY WHEN HE MOVED OUT?

NAH.

YES.

[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, HE DID.

CRYING.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE WOULD DO THAT.

MNH‐MNH, I WAS TALKING ABOUT DANNY.

[ GASPS ] WHAT?

DON'T YOU JUDGE ME. I'M SENSITIVE.

SO, REALLY, HOW'S IT BEEN, BABY?

IT'S BEEN GREAT!

WHY YOU RUBBING YOUR LEGS TOGETHER?

WELL, THIS IS WHAT THE CRICKETS DO WHEN THEY MATE.

RIGHT, BABY?

[ LAUGHS ] YEAH, I SEE YOU, BABY.

[ CHIRPING ]

WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT ‐‐ WHAT ‐‐ WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S THE CRICKET DANCE.

GIVE ME THIS DAMN DRINK.

TWO SIPS AND YOU'RE OUT.

GIVE ME MY BEER BACK.

MAKING US LOOK BAD, SON.

MOTHER.

AND YOUR SON'S A ‐‐

OOH, GIRL, OOH.

NO, REALLY GUYS. ALL JOKES ASIDE, IT HAS BEEN

REALLY NICE HAVING THE WHOLE APARTMENT TO OURSELVES.

MMM, YES IT HAS.

GIVES US SOME MORE TIME TO CATCH UP ‐‐

Linda: D‐D‐D‐‐ ENOUGH.

I WAS GONNA SAY CUDDLING.

YOU ‐‐ YOU BETTER ‐‐

YOU BETTER HAVE BEEN ABOUT TO SAY THAT.

I HAVE THE BEST TIME... CUDDLING.

SO, HAS SAM FOUND A PLACE YET?

YEAH, HE HAS.

OKAY.

WHERE?

NOT SURE.

OKAY. BUT HE'S REALLY HAPPY,

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO SEE IT NEXT WEEKEND.

THAT'S NICE.

WELL, THAT'S REALLY WAS GOOD OF SAM TO MOVE OUT.

CONTRARY TO WHAT I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HIM,

SEEMS LIKE HE IS A GOOD FRIEND.

MM. WELL, HE WASN'T GOING TO BE A FRIEND AT ALL

IF HE DIDN'T.

BABY.

WHAT? I'M JUST SAYING.

WELL, HE'S GONE NOW.

HE'S OUT OF THE HOUSE AND HE'S HAPPY.

YES, AND SO ARE WE.

[ SIREN WAILING, HORN HONKING ]

[ CHITTERING ]

HUH? AAH! AAH!

♪♪♪♪

HE DIDN'T LEAVE A TIP AGAIN.

I CAN'T STAND WORKING HERE.

I KNOW DAMN WELL, YOU AIN'T TALKING

ABOUT NO TIP ROUND HERE!

THE HELL YOU THINK YOU GET A TIP?

THEY HAVEN'T LEFT ME NONE IN YEARS.

ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE GONNA GET A DAMN TIP.

HATTIE.

GONNA TIP YOUR ASS ON UP OUT OF HERE.

HATTIE.

SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD!

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO TALK TO THIS MAN?!

NOW YOU GOT HIM BEHIND THE DOOR IN THE PAN ROOM.

I SEE YOU START YOUR PACE THIS MORNING.

SURE DID. YEAH, YOU TRYING TO GET THEM

ALL CLEAN AND READY FOR THE CUSTOMERS.

INQUIRE VISITS.

WELL, YOU KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DOING.

I MIGHT TIP YOU AFTER ALL.

WELL, NOW. THANK YOU!

SAM, YOU WANT ANY MORE, BABE?

NO, I'M GOOD.

YOU SURE?

YEAH!

MM‐MM‐MM‐MM‐MM‐MM‐MM.

MM‐MM, MM‐MM, MM‐MM.

[ LAUGHING ]

DAMN, THAT'S TURNING ME ON.

UGH.

HATTIE!

WHAT, FLOYD?

COME ON.

‐GET OVER HERE. ‐WHAT?

COME ON.

HE SHOULDN'T WANT NO MORE COFFEE.

THAT'S HIS 15th CUP.

YEAH, I KNOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT, HE NEEDS TO GET ON UP OUT OF HERE.

FLOYD, YOU KNOW HE AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO GO.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONAL PROBLEM TO ME.

YOU KNOW I INVITED HIM TO MY HOUSE

AND HE WOULDN'T EVEN COME.

HELL, I WOULDN'T EVEN COME EITHER.

I JUST FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM.

LOOK AT HIS TONGUE HANGING OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

HE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE SICK PUPPY.

I WOULD HAVE FELT WORSE IF HE HAD COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE.

OH, SHUT UP. YOU KNOW ME AND SAM

GO SEE FOR EACH OTHER.

WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN, HATTIE?

IN A MAN'S WORLD.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

SAM! AAH!

FLOYD!

GET YOUR ASS UP OUT OF HERE AND GO HOME.

FLOYD! NO!

NO, NO, NO. I'M SICK OF THIS.

HE'S HERE ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.

FLOYD, DON'T TALK TO SAM LIKE THAT.

HATTIE.

LOOK AWAY.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

MISS HATTIE, I DESERVE THIS.

NO, SAM, YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS.

YES, I DO. I...

I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO DANNY, AND I SHOULD HAVE FOUND A PLACE.

I ‐‐ I DESERVE TO SLEEP OUT ON THE STREETS WITH A POSSUM.

WELL, YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS SLEEP AT MY HOUSE, SAM.

NO, NO, I CAN'T.

IT'S WORSE THAN THE POSSUM.

YEAH, YOU BETTER NOT.

RIGHT? I CAN END UP PREGNANT.

YOU'LL BE CARRYING A LITTLE BABY WILDEBEEST.

UGH.

OKAY.

WELL, SUIT YOURSELF.

'CAUSE I'M GOING HOME TO A NICE, WARM BED.

AH, OH.

YEAH, YOU GOING TO BE IN A BED FULL OF BED BUGS.

OKAY, SAM.

I'M LEAVING NOW.

UH, MISS HATTIE?

DON'T DO IT.

YOU KNOW WHERE I'LL BE, SAM.

DON'T DO IT.

AAH.

I'M SO SICK.

IT'S PROBABLY THE COFFEE.

OR IT COULD BE MY LIBIDO.

YOU GO OVER TO HATTIE'S, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A LIBI‐DON'T.

FLOYD, CAN I STAY WITH YOU?

HELL NO! CRAZY.

I KNOW.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND GET A‐A‐A ROOM?

GO GET A HOTEL.

WITH WHAT MONEY?

I CAN BARELY AFFORD A HO.

CAN'T EVEN AFFORD THE ‐TEL.

WELL, LOOK. YOU JUST S‐SO OUT OF LUCK.

PLEASE, FLOYD.

LOOK, BRO, I'M ABOUT TO CLOSE UP. CAN'T DO IT.

WELL, HEY, I‐I CAN HELP.

NO!

YOU NEED TO GO ON HOME.

OKAY, OKAY.

GOOD‐BYE.

FLOYD, YOU DON'T CARE

THAT I'M GOING TO SLEEP OUT ON THE STREETS?

NO, I DON'T.

FLOYD!

BYE‐BYE.

FLOYD, THAT'S SO MEAN!

AND LOOK, DON'T GO OVER THERE AND START BOTHERING DANNY.

I WON'T.

YES, YOU WILL.

NO, NO, I'M NOT.

AND IF I CATCH YOU OVER THERE IN THAT BUILDING,

I'M WHOOPING YOUR FLAT ASS.

AS SOON AS I CAN FIND IT.

IT'S RIGHT BELOW MY LOWER BACK.

OH. MY BACK AND MY ASS ‐‐

THEY KIND OF BLEND INTO EACH OTHER.

OH, THEY CALL THAT A "BASS."

THEY DO. COPYRIGHT IT.

[ CHUCKLES ] IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

GET YOUR "BASS" UP OUT OF HERE!

WELL, YOU HAVE A "BLASS."

ARE YOU CALLING ME A "BLACK ASS"?

AAH! AAH!

♪♪♪♪

[ BELL DINGS ]

THIS PLACE IS FALLING APART WITHOUT ME.

DANNY!

DANNY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HMM?

NOTHING.

YOU'RE TRYING TO GET IN, AREN'T YOU?

NO, I'M NOT.

YES, YOU ARE. GO ON IN.

AFTER YOU GO INTO YOUR APARTMENT.

OH, I'M GONNA GO INTO MY APARTMENT,

'CAUSE I GOT AN APARTMENT.

BYE, DREW. BYE.

GOING INTO MY APARTMENT.

DANNY!

DANNY!

DANNY. DANNY.

HE'S NOT HERE. HUH?

HE'S NOT HERE. HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE I SAW THEM AT THE MOVIES EARLIER.

MOVIE ENDED.

UNH‐UNH.

I KNOW YOU AIN'T STALKING THEM.

I'M NOT.

IT'S JUST A HOODIE.

HE CHANGED THE LOCKS.

YEAH, I‐I KNOW.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO, DO YOU?

HA. YEAH, I DO.

NAH, YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T.

NAH, I DON'T, I DON'T.

DREW, CAN I STAY WITH YOU FOR ONE NIGHT?

WELL, I'VE NEVER.

I MEANT SLEEP IN YOUR PLACE.

OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT.

PLEASE? PLEASE?

PLEASE? PLEASE?

PL‐PLEASE, SIR.

REMEMBER? REMEMBER?

WE CAN SKIP THAT PART.

YOU GET ONE NIGHT.

ONE NIGHT HERE. BUT I PROMISE YOU,

IF YOU EVEN TRY TO TOUCH ME I WILL CUT YOU.

OKAY, YOU WON'T HAVE TO, BECAUSE IF I TOUCH YOU,

I WILL CUT MYSELF.

OKAY, COOL. LET'S RIDE.

YOU MEAN GO INTO YOUR APARTMENT?

YES. OH, THANK YOU.

MAKE IT FAST.

BUT WATCH YOURSELF.

SUCH A PARADOX.

[ GASPS ] WOW!

WHAT?

[ LAUGHS ]

I FORGOT HOW NICE THIS PLACE IS.

SAM, YOU WERE JUST HERE NOT TOO LONG AGO.

BUT, HEY, WHEN YOU'RE HOMELESS,

EVERYTHING MUST SEEM SO NICE.

IT'S SO TRUE.

AHH!

OHH, THAT SECOND BEDROOM.

WHICH IS USED FOR MY EXTENSIVE WARDROBE.

DREW, HOW CAN YOU AFFORD TO HAVE THIS PLACE?

I MAKE DUE.

NO, YOU CAN'T. I KNOW WHAT YOU MAKE.

NO, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MAKE.

YEAH.

I SEEN THAT CHECK.

YOU SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY

WHY I WOULD NEVER LET YOU LIVE WITH ME.

WHAT DID I DO?

YOU'RE JUST SO NOSY.

YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING THROUGH MY PERSONAL THINGS.

I'VE NEVER BEEN THROUGH YOUR PERSONALS.

RIGHT. ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HAD THE OPPORTUNITY.

YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.

YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERT.

OKAY, BUT LOOK, I ‐‐ I'M SORRY.

YOU KNOW, DANNY IS REALLY MATURE NOW.

HE'S ACTUALLY GROWING UP.

OH, BUT I ‐‐ I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!

YOU SEE?

I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE OLD PEOPLE.

OH, YOU MEAN ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

WHO HAVE JOBS AND SALARIES,

AND LLCs, AND S CORPs.

I'LL TAKE AN ESCORT.

BUT ‐‐ BUT YEAH.

BETTER YET SAM,

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

THAT HAS A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD?

YEAH!

WAIT, UH...

NO.

OKAY, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

THERE YOU GO WITH THE LAME JOKES.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO ALL THE TIME,

JUST TO THROW THE SCENT OFF

OF THE TOPIC OF YOU GROWING UP.

WELL...

I'M JUST...

YOU'RE JUST WHAT?

NOTHING.

TELL ME.

SCOOCH.

I'M...

I'M SCARED.

SCARED OF WHAT?

OF FAILING.

[ LAUGHS ]

OOH‐HOO‐HOO, THAT TICKLED ME THERE.

YOU SEE, THIS IS WHY I DON'T TELL YOU ANYTHING.

WAIT, YOU WERE SERIOUS?

YES.

SO YOU'RE SCARED OF FAILING?

YEAH.

OKAY, SAM, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDN'T TRY.

I KNOW THAT.

SO, WHY DON'T YOU?

WELL, IT ‐‐ Y‐YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

ALL MY LIFE, EVERYTHING'S JUST BEEN HANDED TO ME.

IT'S SO EASY FOR ME. AND THEN ‐‐

AND THEN I GREW UP, AND IT'S JUST SO MUCH HARDER.

EVERY LITTLE ‐‐ EVERY THING I DO ‐‐

EVERY LITTLE TINY THING

IS LIKE CARRYING A BOULDER UP A MOUNTAIN.

I'M SORRY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT

WHAT I'M GOING TO WEAR TOMORROW.

I JUST COMPLETELY ZONED OUT.

BUT, UH...

WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, BRO, I MEAN, IT SOUNDS LIKE MOST OF US.

IT DOES? YEAH.

LOOK AT ME.

IT'S HARD TO. TO LOOK AT ME?

BECAUSE OF ALL YOUR FEATURES.

THEY'RE NOT PLEASANT TO LOOK AT.

WELL, WHAT ‐‐ WHAT ABOUT YOU?

YOU'RE DOING SO WELL.

ALL MY LIFE, I HAD TO FIGHT.

ALL MY LIFE.

MY DADDY ‐‐ TONY.

TROY'S DADDY.

THAT'S MY DAMN UNCLE.

NO, BUT SERIOUSLY.

I HAD TO WORK FOR EVERYTHING, OKAY.

NOTHING WAS HANDED TO ME IN MY ADULT LIFE.

YEAH, AND YOU'RE DOING SO WELL.

WELL, YOU GOT A POINT RIGHT THERE.

YOU DEFINITELY DO.

[ SIGHS ]

YOU ‐‐ YOU ARE, TOO. YOU ARE TOO.

YOU ‐‐ YOU ARE. YOU ARE.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PLACE.

WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

[ SIGHS ] WELL, YOU DO NOW.

I DO?

YES.

[ RETCHING ]

REALLY?

YOU CAN STAY HERE.

FOR ONE NIGHT!

OKAY.

WE'LL START WITH ONE.

MAYBE I'LL LET YOU LIVE HERE,

BUT, UH, YOU GOT TO PAY YOU'RE RENT BY THE 1st.

OKAY.

AND THE 15th.

16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

MATTER OF FACT, I NEED YOU TO PAY ME EVERY DAY.

I'LL PAY YOU ON THE 1st.

AND, SAM, I DON'T WANT ANY LOOSE WOMEN IN THIS HOUSE ‐‐

NOT IN MY HOUSE.

OKAY, I'LL MAKE SURE THEY'RE ALL TIGHT.

YOU SEE?

I'M SORRY. IT JUST ‐‐

SAM.

YEAH?

IF I EVEN CATCH YOU SNIFFING MY PANTIES...

YOU GOT IT?

OKAY, DEAL.

NO DEAL, HOWIE.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS JUST A TRIAL.

THANK YOU.

♪♪♪♪

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

OH, AND, UH, HEY.

YEAH?

THANKS FOR THE TALK.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST.

HEY, UH, CAN WE GO BACK TO THE INSULTS IN THE MORNING?

THE MORNING?

SHOOT, I WAS THINKING RIGHT NOW.

OH! [LAUGHS] OKAY, COOL.

UH... MY LITTLE ALLEN WRENCH.

YOU GOT IT, MY PETRI DISH.

WE SHOULD SLEEP ON IT, RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH. I DON'T ‐‐ WE CAN DO BETTER.

WE CAN. YEAH.

WELL, HEY, UH, GOOD NIGHT.

YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

OH.

YOU GOT ON YOUR DIAPERS, RIGHT?

ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.

'CAUSE I CAN GO GET THE PLASTIC.

MY MOMMA GAVE ME A REAL NICE SET OF PLASTIC.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH.

YEAH, GET THE PLASTIC.

GOOD NIGHT, DREW. GOOD NIGHT.

HEY, IF IT GETS A LITTLE NOISY BACK HERE...

JUST TUNE IT OUT.

THANKS AGAIN.