Original subtitles

OKAY. UH, GRAB A CHAIR, BABE.

UNCLE FLOYD GONNA NEED A CHAIR.

OH. HE GONNA NEED A CHAIR.

OKAY. HERE WE GO.

OH, BABY, NO, NO, NO. WE HAVE TO?

UH...

YES, WE DO.

OKAY.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

WHAT IS THIS HERE?

LINDA AND ONE OF HER GAMES.

THAT WHY SHE KNOCKED UP NOW.

I DON'T WANNA PLAY THIS DAMN "GYME."

WHY IS IT EVERY TIME WE COME OVER HERE,

WE HAVE TO PLAY THESE "DAMN GYMES"?

UH, H‐HEY, BOO.

OH, I‐I GOT YOU, BABY. HEY, MAMA.

IS IT GAME TIME? I GOT YOU.

YES, IT IS, BABY. YEAH!

WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S TRADITION. OH!

AFTER DINNER... HEY.

...WE PLAY GAMES.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE FUN.

MM‐HMM.

NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S...NOT?

YOU JUST GOT IN THIS FAMILY.

AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN WHAT HAPPENED AT THE LAST GAME.

DON'T BLAME ME FOR THAT!

YOU AIN'T HEAR? YOU STABBED ME.

THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU WERE CHEATING!

BUT I WAS YOUR PARTNER.

WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN.

[ COUGHS ]

[ High‐pitched voice ] SEE, THAT'S WHY ‐‐

SIS‐SIS‐SOU ‐‐ [ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ Normal voice ] THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME.

UNCLE FLOYD, YOU'RE PLAYING. IT'LL BE FINE.

NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

I HID ALL THE SHARP OBJECTS.

DID YOU HIDE THEM LIPS?

THOSE ARE SHARP OBJECTS?

COME ON, MAN. THIS COULD BE FUN.

NO, THANK YOU, PHILIP.

UNCLE FLOYD, YOU'RE PLAYING.

OKAY.

AND, MAMA, YOU, TOO.

FINE.

OKAY, MAMA, WHAT'S THE GAME?

OKAY. THE GAME IS CALLED "WHO YOU KNOW."

AH. HOW DOES IT WORK?

WELL, IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW WELL WE KNOW EACH OTHER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, WE'RE GONNA BE PAIRED OFF IN TEAMS ‐‐

ME AND PHILIP, SAM AND DREW...

EH.

AND TROY AND ME.

THAT'S RIGHT, BABE.

YOU AND YOUR NEW WIFE GET TO SHOW ALL OF US

HOW WELL YOU KNOW EACH OTHER.

AND MAMA HATTIE AND UNCLE FLOYD.

HELL, NO.

ALL I KNOW IS, IF THESE TWO DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER,

THIS GAME AIN'T GONNA END WELL AT ALL.

YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT, BUT ‐‐ BUT THAT'S FOR THEM.

WELL, LET THE...BEGIN!

OKAY, FIRST QUESTION FOR LIN.

UH, IT'S ‐‐ UH, TURN IT UPS‐‐ IT'S UPSIDE DOWN.

WELL, YOU THE ONE TOLD ME TO TURN IT 'ROUND

IN THE FIRST PLACE!

YOU NEED A NEW PRESCRIPTION.

YEAH, HE'S GONNA WRITE ALL OF THEM AT ONE TIME FOR ME.

FIRST QUESTION FOR YOU, LIN.

WHAT COLOR DO PHILIP LIKE ‐‐ BLUE OR GRAY?

UH...BLUE.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT SHE WROTE DOWN ‐‐ BLUE.

THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. YOU KNOW ME. I KNOW YOU.

COME ON. LET 'EM KNOW.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, THIS ‐‐ THIS NEXT QUESTION, UH,

IS FOR, UH, SAM AND DREW.

THEY WROTE DOWN.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, DREW HAD TO ANSWER,

IF SHE HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME MAN

OR A TALL, DARK, AND EVIL MAN, WHICH WOULD SHE CHOOSE, SAM?

WELL, IT'S A TRICK QUESTION

'CAUSE IN NO UNIVERSE WOULD DREW HAVE TWO OPTIONS, LET ALONE ONE.

BUT I WROTE DOWN TALL, DARK, AND EVIL?

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. YEP.

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

I KNOW YOU, GIRL.

NO, YOU DON'T.

YEAH, I DO.

YOU LIKE 'EM "AY‐VIL."

THAT'S RIGHT.

I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO EXERCISE A FEW DEMONS.

O‐O‐OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.

UM, OKAY, SO, MY FIRST QUESTION WAS FOR DANNY AND TROY.

WE GOT THIS, BABY. YEAH.

DANNY, YOU ‐‐

WHO GAVE YOU THIS QUESTION?

THIS IS TOO EASY.

DON'T BE HATING ON ME, MOM. DON'T BE HATING ON DANIEL.

OKAY, DANIEL.

YOUR QUESTION WAS, "WHAT IS TROY'S FAVORITE COLOR?"

OH, THIS GAME WAS DEFINITELY RIGGED FOR THE NEWLYWEDS.

RIGHT.

YEAH, YOU KNOW THAT'S TOO EASY, NOW.

AND I GOT IT RIGHT.

WELL...

DANNY, YOU WROTE DOWN "PURPLE."

AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE SAID...

"BROWN."

UGH. WOW. WOW.

BROWN? WOW.

NOBODY LIKE BROWN.

BROWN?

BABY.

WHAT? PURPLE?

YOU TOLD ME PURPLE.

NO. I TOLD YOU BROWN.

BABY, BROWN IS NOBODY'S FAVORITE COLOR.

IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR.

OH, HELL, LET ME GET UP OUT OF HERE.

Floyd: MNH‐MNH. COME ON, HATTIE.

PLEASE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN MY FAVORITE COLOR, DANNY.

YES, WELL, I THOUGHT I DID.

YEAH. WELL, IT'S ALL RIGHT. WE GONNA GET THE NEXT ONE.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT 'CAUSE THE NEXT ONE'S FOR Y'ALL.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

GOOD GRACIOUS.

UM...OH, THIS IS ANOTHER EASY ONE.

THINK SO. WHAT IS IT?

ALL RIGHT.

THE QUESTION WAS,

"WHAT IS DANIEL'S FAVORITE DESSERT?"

AND YOU WROTE, "ICE CREAM."

ICE CREAM!

[ BOTH IMITATE BUZZER ]

IT'S...

Both: CARAMEL POPCORN.

HA HA!

All: EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!

EXCEPT YOU.

WHAT?

YEAH. I DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM, GIRL.

THAT STUFF TEARS MY STOMACH UP.

DANNY, YOU TOLD ME YOU LIKED ICE CREAM.

I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU THAT. YES, YOU DID.

NO, I DIDN'T. YES, YOU DID.

DANNY, I SWEAR TO GOODN‐‐ MNH! YOU TOLD ME YOU LIKE ICE CREAM.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY. WE ‐‐

I THINK WE NEED TO STOP PLAYING THIS DAMN GAME.

I'M IN AGREEMENT WITH MISS HATTIE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

NO, PHILIP. I'M HAVING FUN.

YOU THE ONLY ONE.

NO, I'M NOT.

LINDA.

WHAT?

LOOK AT THEM TWO.

ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?

YES, I AM.

ARE YOU DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

LOOK AT THEM.

THEY'RE GETTING UPSET.

IT'S JUST A GAME.

AND THE NEXT QUESTION SHOULD BE FOR ME AND PHILIP.

THAT IT IS.

WE GOT THIS. OKAY.

COME ON. IT SAYS HERE...

MM‐HMM.

....WHERE WAS THE FIRST PLACE YOU TWO KISSED

AFTER YOUR MARRIAGE?

[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S EASY, BABY.

UNDER THE OAK TREE IN THE BACKYARD.

MMM.

AT MY DAMN HOUSE?!

YES.

WHAT?

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE KNOCKED UP NOW.

I KICKED YOUR ASS OUT FROM UNDER MY TREE.

MAMA.

THAT TREE GOT ME PREGNANT MANY TIMES.

MAMA, WE MOVED INTO THAT HOUSE AFTER I WAS BORN.

I WASN'T TALKING 'BOUT YOU.

SO, MAMA, I HAVE A BROTHER OR A SISTER?

DO A TREE GOT A ROOT?

YOU GOT A FEW, THOUGH.

MAMA, STOP IT.

NOW, SAM AND DREW, IT'S YOUR TURN.

I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD PLAY THIS GAME.

THAT'S THE SAME THING I SAID!

NO, NO, NO. LET'S KEEP GOING ON.

NO. WE CAN'T.

"ISH," WHAT, NOW?

HELLO!

FINE.

OH. OH!

I THINK THIS WAS THE END OF THE GAME.

GAME OVER. WHY, MAMA?

LINDA, STOP IT!

WHAT? MAMA, LISTEN. IT'S ‐‐ IT'S JUST A GAME.

STOP IT NOW.

BUT ‐‐ BUT THE NEXT QUESTION'S SO EASY.

IT'S ‐‐ IT'S REALLY EASY.

AND IT'S FOR TROY.

TROY, UH, WHAT DID DANNY SAY

WAS HIS FAVORITE POSITION TO SLEEP IN?

[ SCOFFS ] Philip: YEAH.

DANNY WROTE IT DOWN. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

ON HIS BACK.

[ BOTH IMITATE BUZZER ]

DANNY WROTE ‐‐ ON HIS SIDE.

MNH.

AND...I KNEW THAT.

WELL, HERE ‐‐ I MEAN, MAYBE MY MAMA'S RIGHT.

MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE.

NOW YOU SEE WHAT I SAID?

DANG.

I NEED TO SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN.

YEAH, WE ‐‐ LET'S GO TO THE KITCHEN.

NO, LIKE RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU FIND THAT?

CAN YOU FIND THE KITCHEN?

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE KITCHEN IS?

I KNOW WHERE THE KITCHEN IS. OH, YEAH?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT COLOR IT IS, HUH?

IT AIN'T ‐‐ IT AIN'T BROWN.

NOBODY LIKE THAT COLOR.

IS IT PURPLE? IS IT PURPLE?

YOU KNOW IT AIN'T PURPLE.

LET'S GO IN THE KITCHEN.

OHH! UNH!

MNH!

YOU GONNA KILL ME. IS IT PURPLE?

BROWN. PURPLE.

NOBODY LIKES BROWN.

IT'S LIKE THE WORST COLOR ON THE WHEEL.

TALKING ABOUT HE SLEEP ON HIS DAMN BACK.

HE DON'T SLEEP ON HIS BACK.

DAMN. SHE'D LIKE TO PUT MY GRANDBABY'S EYE OUT THERE.

GAME NIGHT IS A SUCCESS.

NOW, YOU SEE THAT?

WHY YOU GOT TO KEEP PUSHING THE ISSUE?!

WELL ‐‐ WELL, MAMA, HOW WAS I TO KNOW IT WOULD END UP LIKE THIS?

YOU KNEW VERY WELL WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

MAMA, I HAD NO IDEA MY SON AND HIS BRAND‐NEW WIFE

DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL.

YOU DID THIS HERE ON PURPOSE.

YES, YOU DID. YOU DONE IT ON PURPOSE.

I DIDN'T. I SAY YOU DID!

I DIDN'T. SAY SOMETHING...

I KNOW YOU DID.

BABY?

I DIDN'T.

YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST PUT THE DAMN GAME UP.

NO, NO, LET'S GO ON, UNCLE FLOYD.

OHH! OHH! OHH!

OH, NOW, THAT ‐‐ THAT BOY ‐‐ OOH!

SOMEBODY'S ABOUT TO GET THEIR ASS WHUPPED.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

LEAST I DIDN'T GET THE HAIR IN THE FACE.

TROY, THIS IS DANNY.

FLOYD, THIS IS ‐‐

AH, DON'T YOU DO THAT.

Linda: YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO AHEAD AND PUT THE GAME AWAY.

YEAH. I AGREE WITH LIN.

NO. WE NEED TO REDEEM OURSELVES. RIGHT, TROY?

YES, DANNY.

SO LET'S GO FOR IT.

NOW, LOOK, DANIEL... YOU TWO DON'T HAVE TO REDEEM ‐‐

I KNOW THAT!

MAYBE THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO PROVE TO EACH OTHER.

[ CHUCKLES ] KEEP IT 100%!

NAH. BRING THEM CARDS ON. WE READY.

MM‐HMM. WE READY.

Y'ALL HEARD THE HO. DEAL 'EM! DEAL 'EM! DEAL 'EM!

OKAY, GAME OVER, FINISHED, THE END.

I SAID PLAY THE DAMN CARDS, GRANDMA!

DAMN, DANNY!

YOU AIN'T GOT TO BE SPITTING ALL OVER EVERYBODY

WITH THAT SPRINKLER SYSTEM IN YOUR THROAT!

OKAY, GREAT. I GUESS I'LL TAKE THE CARDS, PHILIP.

DANIEL'S ABOUT TO BRING OUT SOME FLASH CARDS.

O‐O‐O‐OKAY. LET'S GO ‐‐ I THINK ‐‐ OKAY.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

THIS QUESTION'S FOR YOU TWO.

WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST DATE?

MAY 7th. MM.

THEY GOT THAT RIGHT.

WELL, WHAT TIME WAS IT?

7:30. 7:30.

MM.

WHAT SEASON WAS IT?

SPRING. SPRING.

WHAT WAS THE TEMPERATURE?

78 DEGREES. 78 DEGREES.

COME ON WITH IT. COME ON WITH IT.

YES, BABY, YES. COME ON WITH IT. HUH?

DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, BABY. HATE THE GAME.

YOU PAYING ATTENTION, BABY?

OKAY.

WELL, MISS DREW, IT'S YOUR TURN.

[ IMITATES BUZZER ] WATCH YOURSELF.

SHUT IT DOWN.

BETTER GET YOUR MAN.

I DIDN'T THINK I'D LIKE THIS GAME.

WHY, MISS HATTIE? IT'S SO MUCH FUN.

GIRL, WHO YOU WINDING YOUR NECK AT?

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SO READY TO KEEP PLAYING.

YOU AIN'T GOT NO ANSWER RIGHT..."BOO‐BOO."

BUT WE'RE ABOUT TO WIN. RIGHT, DANNY?

RIGHT?!

YEAH. WE'RE GONNA TURN THIS THING AROUND.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT THE TITANIC.

WELL, I KNOW WE'RE GONNA BEAT SAM AND DREW

'CAUSE THEY'RE NOT EVEN A REAL COUPLE.

WELL, APPARENTLY NEITHER ARE YOU TWO.

Floyd: OHH.

SHADE, SHADE, SHADE, SHADE, SHADE.

WHEW.

IT'S CLOUDY IN HERE WITH ALL THIS SHADE. UM...

SO, THIS IS FOR SAM AND DREW.

AND YOU WROTE YOUR ANSWERS DOWN TO THE QUESTION,

"WHERE DID YOU LAST KISS??

I KNOW THEY'RE NOT GONNA GET THIS ONE RIGHT.

WELL, ACCORDING TO THEIR ANSWERS...

DREW WROTE "AT WORK."

AND I WILL NOW GIVE THE PLEASURE TO SAM TO ANSWER...

A‐‐ "AT WOR‐‐"

AT WORK.

OH, I'M FINNA WHUP ME SOME ASS NOW.

I WAS DRUNK. CHRISTMAS PARTY. MISTLETOE.

AND SHE FINNA BE MISSING A FEW TOES.

SANTA'S GOT NO MORE SECRETS.

AND IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!

YOU DAMN SKIPPY IT WON'T!

THAT ‐‐ THAT ‐‐ THAT IT WON'T.

YEAH, I ‐‐ WAIT. WE GOT IT RIGHT?

ACCORDING TO THE TOELESS HO, YES.

WOW.

UH...

OKAY, UH, THE LAST QUESTION.

IT'S FOR, UH ‐‐

IT'S FOR US.

WELL ‐‐

GO ON, NOW.

YOU SURE?

YES, MISS LINDA. GO ON.

CALM DOWN, "BROWNIE."

OKAY.

BOTH WROTE YOUR ANSWERS RIGHT HERE.

SO, THE QUESTION WAS, "WHAT TIME DID YOU GET MARRIED?"

AH. WE GOT THIS ONE.

WE GOT THIS.

SO YOU WOULD THINK.

UH, DANNY, BABY, YOU WROTE DOWN 11:52.

AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE WROTE 9:23.

DAMN! DAMN.

MNH.

BABY.

BABE, IT WAS 9:00.

YOU DON'T REMEMBER?

I WAS DRUNK.

TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER?

WELL...

[ IMITATING BUZZER ]

WELL, AS MUCH AS I ENJOY

WATCHING THIS IDIOTIC MARRIAGE FAIL...

I GOT TO BE HONEST, MAN.

THIS GAME IS RIGGED

BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT ARE WINNING.

ACTUALLY, NO, DREW, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU AND SAM ARE DOING REALLY WELL.

YEAH.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS SAYING ‐‐

THAT HE, LIKE, KNOWS ME OR SOMETHING?

YEP.YEP.

WELL, THAT WENT SOUTH REAL FAST.

UM, WHO'S IN THE LEAD?

WELL, I'M SURE, WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING...

I CAN TELL YOU THAT PHILIP AND I ARE.

AND THEN IT'S YOU AND ME, DREW?

YEAH. SURE, SURE.

AND THEN IT'S...

GOOD NIGHT.

[ YAWNS ] ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M SLEEPY.

I'M GOING HOME NOW.

I FEEL YA. [ YAWNS ]

I'M SLEEPY, TOO. COME ON. LET'S GO.

NOT ME. I'M ‐‐ I MEAN...

[ YAWNS ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ YAWNS ] WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

ME TOO.

[ YAWNS ]

ARE YOU SLEEPY, BABY?

HUH? SO SLEEPY. AIN'T YOU SLEEPY?

SO SLEEPY, LINDA. HE'S...

OH! SO SLEEPY.

AH ‐‐ OOH. [ YAWNS ] SO SLEEPY.

ALL RIGHT. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. LET'S ‐‐

OH, GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT. NIGHT, NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT. OKAY, GOOD NIGHT.

OKAY. NIGHT, NIGHT.

[ Yawning ] GOOD NIGHT, BABY.

COME ON, DUDE. GET YOUR DAMN CHAIR.

DREW, COME ON. COME ON.

Linda: OKAY. KEYS ARE IN MY PURSE.

KEYS ARE IN MY PURSE.

COME ON!

Philip: HEY, Y'ALL GONNA LOCK ‐‐

Y'ALL GONNA LOCK THE DOOR, RIGHT?

HUH? LOCK THE DOOR.

I'M TAKING THESE CARDS SO WE CAN'T PLAY THIS DAMN "GYME" AGAIN.

YEAH.

HEY, BABY?

YES? YOU ‐‐ YOU THINK

Y'ALL COULD LOCK UP TOGETHER?

YEAH. ON THE ‐‐ THE LOCK IS ON THE...

OKAY.

THE LOCK IS ON THE DOOR.

OKAY.

ONE OF Y'ALL MIGHT NEED TO TURN IT.

WOW.

YEAH.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THOSE QUESTIONS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, DID WE CHOKE?

NO.

BABY, I THOUGHT I KNEW YOUR FAVORITE COLOR.

AND I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT TIME WE GOT MARRIED.

I GUESS WE DON'T.

NO.

SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

WELL, TELL ME.

BABE, I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT IT MEANS

THAT WE NEED TO TAKE MORE TIME

TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER.

OKAY.

DEAL?

DEAL.

BABY, I'M IN THIS FOREVER.

YOU PROMISE? YES.

OKAY. ME TOO.

AND THIS WILL GIVE US ALL THE TIME WE NEED

FOR ME TO GET TO KNOW EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOU...

INCLUDING YOUR FAVORITE COLOR, YOUR FAVORITE SPOT ‐‐

Linda: GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!

GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! GOOD NIGHT!