Original subtitles

[ SIGHS ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

MM.

MM. MM, MM, MM.

WOW!

THAT'S ONE HELL OF A RING TONE!

HELLO? [ RINGING CONTINUES ]

OH, YEAH.

HI.

YES. MAY I SAY WHO'S CALLING?

WELL, THIS IS SAM.

WELL, WHO IS THIS?

‐SAM. ‐YEAH!

‐SAM? ‐YEAH?

IS THAT MY PHONE?

I DON'T KNOW. IS THAT YOUR PURSE?

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME LAY HANDS ON YOU.

‐WHAT? ‐GIVE ME MY PHONE.

OKAY. OKAY.

NOW.

HERE.

HELLO?

OH, THAT WAS NOBODY.

YEAH. MM‐HMM.

SURE. OKAY.

"YEAH. MM‐HMM.

SURE. OKAY"?

DANNY!

DAN! DAN!

YEAH? WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT IS IT?

‐YOU GOT A PROBLEM, MAN. ‐WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, I CAME OUT HERE,

AND I ANSWERED A PHONE, AND IT WAS TROY'S.

BUT DON'T MIND THAT PART, OKAY?

AND GUESS WHAT. ‐WHAT?

SHE WAS TALKING TO A MAN!

AND?

I DIDN'T REALLY THINK THIS ONE OUT.

THAT'S AS FAR AS I GOT.

WAIT A MINUTE, SAM.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE WAS TALKING TO A MAN?

'CAUSE I ANSWERED HER PHONE.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ANSWER HER PHONE.

COME ON. I ANSWER YOURS ALL THE TIME.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T MIND IT.

YEAH. AND YOU KNOW THE REASON YOU DON'T MIND IT?

WHY?

'CAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.

AND NEITHER DOES SHE.

THEN WHY WAS SHE TALKING TO A MAN?

WELL, SAM, LOOK. I'M SURE IT'S HER OWN PERSONAL BUSINESS.

HEY.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT?

A WOMAN DOESN'T HAVE ANY PERSONAL BUSINESS

AFTER SHE GETS MARRIED.

SAM, JUST LEAVE IT ALONE AND DON'T ANSWER HER PHONE AGAIN.

YOU GOT IT?

I WAS JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, BIG, LITTLE BUDDY.

DON'T LOOK OUT FOR ME AT ALL, MY LITTLE, BIG BUDDY.

YOU AND YOUR LITTLE RED SHIRT.

OH, YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. I WON'T.

BUT I WILL FIND OUT WHO WAS ON THAT PHONE.

AND I DON'T MEAN TROY.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH MY PHONE AGAIN.

HEY! WHOA!

IS ALL MY MONEY IN HERE? DID YOU STEAL ANYTHING?

THERE WAS MONEY IN THERE?

AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY FEMININE PRODUCTS?

WHAT? I'M GONNA TAKE ONE FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

‐SAM. ‐OKAY, OKAY. I'M SORRY.

‐NO, YOU'RE NOT. ‐NO, I'M NOT.

YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

THANK YOU.

MOST LADIES THINK SO.

AND A FEW MEN, I'M SURE.

‐YEAH. ‐MM‐HMM.

THEY THINK YOU'RE A JERK, I BET.

OH, YEAH.

YEAH, THEY THINK THAT TOO.

SO WHO WAS ON THE PHONE?

NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

TURNS ME ON.

HEY.

I'M ONLY ASKING FOR DANNY.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YEAH, I'M TELLING YOU, HE WANTS TO KNOW TOO.

‐NO, HE DOES NOT. ‐YES, HE DOES.

DIDN'T YOU SEE HIM COME IN HERE AND ASK ME,

"WHO'S ON THE PHONE, SAM?"

HOW THE HELL WOULD I SEE THAT IF I'M OUT IN THE HALLWAY?

‐THAT'S A GOOD POINT. ‐UH‐HUH.

YEAH, WELL, HE DID ASK ME WHILE YOU WERE TALKING.

NO, HE DIDN'T.

‐YEAH, HE DID. ‐MM‐KAY.

SO WHO WAS IT?

SAM, IT WAS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS,

LIKE I SAID THE FIRST TIME.

HEY, IF YOU WANT TO BE A FREAKIN',

SELLIN' ON THE WEEKEND, THEN IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

BUT YOU'RE TALKING TO A MAN. I'M TELLING YOU, HE ASKED.

‐NO, HE DID NOT. ‐YOU'LL SEE.

OH, YEAH, WE GONNA SEE.

DANNY? ‐NO, HE DON'T LISTEN TO YOU.

HE LISTEN TO ME.

DANNY.

♪♪ DANNY ♪♪

♪♪ DANNY ♪♪

♪♪ DAN, DANNY ♪♪

WHAT?

HEY, HEY, HEY.

THAT NOTE WAS A LOT FLATTER THAN YOU.

AIN'T NOTHING FLAT ON THIS.

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S SAM.

WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?

NOTHING.

LOOK.

BABY, I TOLD HIM NOT TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE ANYMORE.

THANK YOU.

But I won't listen.

DANNY.

SAM, YOU'RE MAKING THIS REALLY DIFFICULT FOR ME.

YES, HE IS.

‐I'M SORRY. ‐DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

‐OKAY. OKAY. ‐THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW HE'S GONNA DO IT AGAIN.

BABY.

NO, DANNY. YOU ALWAYS DO THIS.

YOU ALWAYS MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM.

‐NO, I DON'T. ‐YES, YOU DO.

‐LOOK. HE'S JUST A LITTLE ‐‐ ‐SEE?

YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE ONE RIGHT NOW.

TROY, LOOK. HE'S JUST A LITTLE ‐‐

‐WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? ‐TROY.

LOOK AT WHAT? WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

‐STOP. ‐WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

LET ME FINISH.

FINE. FINISH WHATEVER YOU GOTS TO SAY.

GO ON.

WHAT? WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY?

WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY, DANNY? ‐I AIN'T SAID IT YET.

‐GO ON. ‐I'MA SAY IT ‐‐

‐GO. ‐IF YOU LET ME.

WAITING. WAITING.

HE WAS MY ROOMMATE BEFORE YOU MOVED IN.

UH‐HUH.

AND BEFORE YOU FOUND A PLACE.

PSST. PSST.

NOT HELPING.

I'M SORRY.

‐TROY, LOOK. HE WAS ‐‐ ‐YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE YOU AND HIM NEED TO JUST LIVE TOGETHER

THEN BY YOUR DAMN SELVES.

‐TROY. ‐NO.

NO, THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.

‐NO, IT'S NOT. ‐YES, IT IS.

LOOK, IT'S 'CAUSE YOU WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A MAN.

WHAT?

UH‐UH.

YOU HEARD ME.

WHAT YOU TRYING TO SAY, DANNY?

YOU POSTIN' UP?

WHOEVER THAT MAN WAS ON THE PHONE,

YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME WHO IT IS.

SO NOW, YOU'RE STARTING THIS FIGHT.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME WHO IT IS,

YOU KNOW, YOU AIN'T GOT TO SAY IT.

OH‐OHHH!

YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT! ‐TROY.

THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.

‐WAIT. WHERE YOU GOING? ‐AWAY FROM YOU.

‐TROY. ‐BYE.

BABE, HEY.

YOU BETTER COME IN THIS HERE. I KNOW YOU HEAR ME.

HEY.

SAY SHE'S COMING BACK.

MNH‐MNH.

LET HER GO, DANNY. ‐SHUT UP, SAM.

NO. SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO TELL YOU

THAT SHE WAS TALKING TO SOME MAN ON THE PHONE.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. ‐NO, I DIDN'T.

YES, YOU DID.

SAM, YOU KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT THING WOULD BE TO DO RIGHT NOW?

‐WHAT'S THAT, BUDDY? ‐PUNCHING YOU OUT!

AH! AH!

NO. NO, DON'T WINDMILL.

‐YOU AIN'T READY. ‐DON'T WINDMILL.

NO ONE WANTS THAT RENEWABLE ENERGY.

‐SHUT UP, SAM. ‐WHAT?

‐NO. JUST SHUT UP. I MEAN IT. ‐DAN‐‐

DANNY, WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU? ‐I'M SICK OF YOU, SAM!

I MEAN IT! NOW JUST MOVE!

LET ME PUNCH AND WINDMILL AND THIS STUFF.

YOU SEE HOW TIGHT THIS SHIRT IS?

SWEATING IN PLACES I CAN'T EVEN MENTION AT PARTIES.

WHY WOULD YOU BE TALKING ABOUT WHERE YOU SWEAT AT PARTIES?

BUT I WILL FIND OUT WHO'S ON THAT PHONE.

THE PERSON THAT WASN'T TROY.

Drew: YES, HONEY, 'CAUSE I GOT A DATE TONIGHT.

OKAY. YOU CAN'T TELL ME MY GOD AIN'T GOOD.

BETTER STOP TALKING TO MYSELF.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

OH, HIM HERE EARLY.

HE A PROMPT MAN.

OH, NOW, GIRL, GET IT RIGHT.

OH, NOW, THAT'S TOO MUCH. [ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]

YOU ALWAYS DOING TOO MUCH. ONE STEP AT A TIME.

HEY.

HO. A'IGHT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, PERVERT?

I JUST NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE.

WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, YOUR THERAPIST?

I'M BUSY.

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T TRY TO TALK TO YOU.

I MEANT TALKING TO A PERSON, NOT A WITCH.

YOU KNOW, I WISH I WAS A WITCH.

I DO BECAUSE, THEN, I'D TURN YOU INTO THE TOAD THAT YOU ARE.

THAT'S GREAT. JUST KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN, WHY DON'T YOU?

HEY! STOP ‐‐ STOP IT.

‐ISN'T THIS FUN? ‐NO!

IT'S THE MOST FUN WE'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME.

I'M ON A SOCCER TEAM. YOU WANT TO DO SOCCER LATER?

OH, HOW ABOUT KICKBALL? I CAN AIM HIGHER.

THAT'S THE CLOSEST YOU'LL EVER GET TO THEM.

‐WHAT DO YOU WANT? ‐HAVE YOU SEEN DANNY?

NO, I HAVE NOT. NOW GO.

‐OR TROY? ‐NO. LEAVE!

OH, THEY KIND OF GOT INTO A FIGHT.

OH, ABOUT?

WELL, HAVE A SEAT, MAKE YOURSELF COMFY.

WE'VE GOT BUSINESS TO DISCUSS.

‐THIS IS NICE. ‐MM‐HMM.

HOUNDSTOOTH.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UM, I KIND OF ANSWERED HER PHONE.

HOW DO YOU ‐‐ HOW DO YOU KIND OF ANSWER SOMEONE'S PHONE?

WELL, IT WAS RINGING.

AND I DIDN'T PLAN ON ANSWERING IT.

IT JUST KIND OF ORGANICALLY HAPPENED.

AGAIN, YOU ANSWERED HER PHONE?

YES.

AND WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

BECAUSE.

BECAUSE...

YOU WERE BEING THE BUTT THAT YOU ARE.

‐NO, I WASN'T. ‐YES, YOU WERE.

ADMIT IT. ‐OKAY, OKAY.

I WAS BEING A BUTT.

IT'S KIND OF FUN SOMETIMES.

‐WE'RE CUTE. ‐YEAH, WE'RE REAL CUTE.

‐YEAH. ‐OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH.

GET ON OUT. ‐NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WAIT. SHE WAS TALKING TO A MAN NAMED TONY.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, TELL ME MORE, YOU IDIOT.

YEAH. AND ‐‐ AND DANNY DIDN'T CARE.

SO I TOLD HIM TO ASK HER WHO'S ON THE PHONE.

AND THAT KIND OF STARTED THE FIGHT.

HMM. WELL, DANNY SHOULDN'T CARE

IF SHE WAS TALKING TO A MAN NAMED TONY.

YES, HE SHOULD.

NO, HE SHOULDN'T BECAUSE TONY IS MY FATHER.

YEAH. ALL R‐‐ WAIT.

SHE'S CHEATING WITH YOUR DAD?

NO, YOU DISGUSTING PERVERT.

THAT'S HER DAMN UNCLE!

THEY TALK ALL THE TIME.

SHE'S GOT A LOT OF INSE‐‐ INSECURITIES.

‐THAT EXPLAINS A LOT. ‐RIGHT.

DOESN'T EXPLAIN ONE THING, THOUGH.

‐WHAT? ‐YOU KNOW.

WELL, WE GOT PAST THE ACNE AND THE BRACES.

‐MM‐HMM. ‐RIGHT?

BUT SEE, WE JUST COULDN'T GET THAT FOREHEAD RIGHT.

I MEAN, WE TRIED TO LAY HANDS ON IT.

WE PRAYED. WE PRAYED. YES, WE DID, FATHER.

YES, WE DID.

AND THEN, WE TRIED TO GET HER BANGS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

BUT HER HAIRLINE WAS JUST WAY TOO FAR BACK.

‐YEAH. ‐EVEN THE BANGS WAS LIKE,

"HELL NO. I'M NOT GOING DOWN TO HERE."

‐YEAH, THAT'S A CUL‐DE‐SAC. ‐"I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT."

‐RIGHT. ‐GET OUT OF HERE.

‐AH! ‐TRAFFIC DOESN'T COME THROUGH.

REALLY AWKWARD SITUATION.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

YEAH.

SO YOU'RE SAYING I, UH...

MAN, I CAUSED THIS BIG MESS.

I'M GONNA DRAMATICALLY GET UP TOO.

YES.

JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

WELL, I GOT TO FIX THIS.

NO, YOU'RE ONLY GONNA MAKE IT WORSE.

BUT I'M REALLY

SORRY. ‐SORRY. EW.

OH, MY GOD. OH! YOU'RE A FUNGUS.

GET IT OFF ME. GET OUT. GET OUT. YOU'RE GROWING ON ME.

‐WHAT? ‐YOU'RE GROWING ON ME.

I DON'T WANT TO LIKE YOU.

GO ON OUT. SEE YOURSELF OUT.

‐OKAY. OKAY. ‐SEE YOURSELF OUT.

I GOT A DATE. OKAY?

YEAH, RIGHT.

I DON'T WANT DANNY.

AND LOOK AT THAT, THAT ONE THERE.

THAT WAS HER WHEN SHE WAS 5 YEARS OLD.

MAMA!

DON'T SHOW HIM THAT.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.

THAT'S HOW YOUR BABY HEAD GONNA LOOK.

STOP IT, UNCLE.

‐HI. ‐HEY.

‐WHAT YOU DOING HERE? ‐NOT KNOCKING.

I'M LOOKING FOR DANNY AND TROY.

WELL, THEY'RE NOT HERE.

OH, OKAY.

WHAT WRONG WITH YOU?

NOTHING.

YEAH. DANNY AND TROY TOLD US WHAT YOU DID.

YEAH, THEY DID.

LOOK, YOU REALLY NEED TO STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS.

‐WELL, I ‐‐ ‐"WELL, I" NOTHING.

STAY OUT THE MIDDLE OF THEM.

DON'T YOU KNOW THEY MARRIED AND IN LOVE NOW?

STOP IT. JUST STOP IT.

I WAS JUST LOOKING OUT FOR DANNY.

WE ALL ARE, SAM.

BUT DANNY'S GROWING UP.

YES, HE IS.

BUT DID YOU JUST SAY THAT, LINDA?

‐STOP IT, UNCLE FLOYD. ‐NO, I'M JUST SAYING, I MEAN,

YOU ARE REALLY GROWING UP AND OUT.

YOU UNDERSTAND, SAM?

YES.

MAN LIKE YOU NEED HIS OWN PLACE.

YOU REALLY THINK I NEED TO MOVE OUT?

‐HELL YEAH. ‐HELL YEAH.

OKAY. OKAY.

I GET THE PICTURE.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS MOVE IN HERE WITH ME, SAM.

NO, NO, NO!

I'M GONNA TELL THEM THAT I'M GONNA LOOK

FOR A PLACE AND MOVE OUT.

YEAH, SO I CAN COME OVER THERE AND VISIT SOME.

‐MNH‐MNH. ‐OH.

WE'RE GONNA SWING FROM THE CHANDELIERS.

I'LL INSTALL ONE. BYE, EVERYONE.

‐ALL RIGHT. ‐BYE, SAM.

HEY.

LOOK, BABY. I'M SORRY.

IT'S OKAY.

I WAS TALKING TO MY UNCLE, DREW'S FATHER.

YEAH. YOU DIDN'T NEED TO SAY THAT.

YES, THE HELL I DID

'CAUSE IF YOU EVER FIX YOUR LIPS

TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN,

IT'S GONNA BE A PROBLEM, I PROMISE.

PLEASE STOP HANGING WITH GRANDMA.

HER SPIRIT JUST ALL OVER YOU.

GET OUT OF HERE, GRANDMA.

WHAT? ‐ARE YOU JEALOUS?

NO, I'M NOT. IT'S JUST SAM.

BABE, I SWEAR HE A PROBLEM.

MM! ‐OKAY.

YEAH, I KNOW HE IS.

YEAH, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

LOOK. I KNOW. I KNOW.

AND SOON AS HE GETS HOME, I'M GONNA TELL HIM

HE NEEDS TO MOVE SOONER THAN LATER.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW I HAVE NO SECRETS FROM YOU, RIGHT?

AND I DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS FROM YOU.

OKAY. SO IF I'M TALKING ON THE PHONE,

YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME.

I'D NEVER BETRAY YOU.

AND I WOULDN'T BETRAY YOU.

OKAY. SO YOUR PRIVACY IS YOUR PRIVACY?

‐YES, IT IS. ‐AND MY PRIVACY IS MY PRIVACY?

WELL...

"WELL..." WHAT?

I DO HAVE A SECRET.

THIS ONE TIME, MY GRANDMA GAVE ME SOME WHITE LIGHTNING.

AND THEN, I WENT DOWN TO MEXICO.

AND I GOT A SOMBRERO. [ CHUCKLES ]

MM‐HMM.

AND I WAS ON A MULE.

MM‐HMM.

IT WAS NEXT TO A SEÑORITA.

AND THEN WHAT?

I HAVE A SON.

AND HIS NAME IS CONQUISTADOR.

‐DANNY. ‐AND THERE HE IS.

HOLA.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M ‐‐ ‐NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO?

YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA GO TO WORK. BUT NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOU WORK.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GO DO?

YO' MAMA.

WELL PLAYED.

I JUST CAME TO...

I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.

UH, APOLOGY, UH...

WHAT?

APOLOGY ACCEPTED!

I JUST WANTED TO SAY

THAT I'M ALSO GONNA LOOK FOR A PLACE,

AND I'M ‐‐ I'M GONNA MOVE.

GOOD.

YEAH, SOON.

NOT SOON ENOUGH, HUH?

‐BABY! ‐WHAT?

YOU TALK TO HIM.

♪♪♪♪

SAM, LOOK. MY LIFE HAS CHANGED NOW.

YEAH. I KNOW THAT.

AND MY WIFE, SHE COMES FIRST.

I KNOW THAT TOO.

AND I'M SORRY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO ME.

I'M PROUD OF YOU, DANNY.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE THE KIND OF MAN THAT I WISH I COULD BE.

AW, SAM. YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

YEAH, I DO.

THANK YOU.

‐SO CAN I STAY? ‐NO, YOU MOVING,

STILL GETTING THE HELL OUT.

OKAY. OKAY.

MM‐HMM.

SAM.

THAT'S ‐‐ THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

IT USED TO.

THINGS HAVE CHANGED NOW.

[ SIGHS ]

NOT FOR ME.

I THINK YOU LOOK GREAT IN YOUR LITTLE RED SHIRT.

WELL, YOU LOOK GREAT IN YOUR TEALISH, GREEN SHIRT.

JEANETTA SAID IT WAS THE NEXT GREAT THING IN FASHION.

[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S TRUE. LOOKS LIKE A BEACH PARTY.

I WISH I WAS INVITED.

YOU'RE MOVING.

YEAH.