Original subtitles

I JUST SAW TROY GETTING ON A BUS.

YOU SAW WHAT? YES.

WELL, WHERE WAS SHE GOING?

KNOWING HER, BACK HOME.

OH, HELL, NO.

THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL.

WHY YOU SMILING?

OH. WAS I?

ALL 69 OF 'EM.

SORRY.

DREW? YEAH?

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

I'M NOT SMILING.

I CRY LIKE THIS.

OH, LIKE YOU HAPPY AS HELL.

OH, YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S IT.

THEY'RE TEARS OF JOY. TEARS OF JOY.

ME, TOO. ME, TOO.

OKAY, STOP IT.

NO. STOP.

NOW, BOTH OF YOU KNOW DANNY LOVES TROY.

I KNOW.

AND HE WILL BE HEARTBROKEN.

I KNOW.

THEN WHY ARE YOU SMILING LIKE THAT?

I'M NOT SMILING BECAUSE HE'S GONNA BE HEARTBROKEN, MAMA.

THEN WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

BECAUSE THE HEIFER'S GONE!

[ LAUGHS ]

AND I NEVER LIKED HER FOR HIM.

ME, NEITHER.

THE ONLY REASON YOU SMILING

IS BECAUSE YOU WANTED DANNY FOR YOURSELF.

THERE'S NO SHAME IN MY GAME.

NOW, LINDA, Y'ALL NEED TO STOP IT.

YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT DANNY AND TROY IS MARRIED.

I KNOW.

AND YOU NEED TO LET HIS CHOICES BE HIS CHOICES.

YOU'RE RIGHT, MAMA. YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, I GUESS WE NEED TO GO FIND HER.

YEAH. RIGHT.

YEAH. THAT'S GOOD.

[ Robotic ] I FEEL SO BAD.

WAIT. THAT WAS A LITTLE ROBOTIC.

LET ME TRY AGAIN. [ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ Robotic ] I FEEL SO BAD.

I GOT NOTHING. [ LAUGHS ]

DREW, COME ON NOW.

[ Mockingly ] LET'S GO FIND TROY.

[ Mockingly ] YOU'RE RIGHT, MISS LINDA.

LET'S GO FIND HER.

AND WE'RE OFF!

Hattie: I DON'T THINK SO.

Y'ALL NEED TO QUIT WITH THAT FOOLISHNESS.

YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.

WHY, MAMA?

'CAUSE I DON'T TRUST NEITHER ONE OF Y'ALL.

MAMA. WHAT?!

I DON'T. OKAY, FINE.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO?

Y'ALL TWO NEED TO COME WITH ME.

AND, FLOYD, Y'ALL GO AND TALK TO DANNY.

WHY?

HE NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THE BEDROOM

WHEN HE GET HOME.

BUT SHE ALREADY GONE.

JUST DO WHAT THE HELL I TELL YOU TO DO, FLOYD.

FINE, FINE, SATAN.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON. LET'S DO IT.

WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING ABOUT?

Y'ALL COME BACK HERE. COME BACK HERE.

YOU LOOK JUST AS STUPID AS YOU'RE WALKING.

GET ON BACK THERE TO MY CAR.

AND HURRY THE HELL UP, TOO!

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

PBHT!

[ NEIGHS ]

WHERE'S DREW? I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S REALLY UNFAIR THAT SHE WOULDN'T COME TO HELP US.

WELL, I'M SURE SHE HAS A GOOD REASON.

NO GOOD REASON.

LUNCH WAS OVER AN HOUR AGO.

THEN WHY ARE YOUR FEET STILL PERCHED UP ON YOUR DESK?

MY LUNCH IS ALWAYS EXTENDED.

SAM. NO!

A BEAST LIKE ME NEEDS MORE REST THAN THE MERE MORTAL.

LOOK, I NEED HELP WITH THIS PROJECT.

ALL RIGHT. AFTER...

MY LUNCH IS DIGESTED.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

[ BOTH GIGGLING ]

STOP IT!

STOP IT! STOP IT!

AW, DAMN.

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

DANNY?

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

NOW WE KNOW WHY HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN HER.

UH, DANNY. HEY!

HI!

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

SEEMS LIKE YOU WERE SURPRISED TO SEE US.

YEAH...

'CAUSE YOU NEVER COME HERE.

KIND OF GLAD THAT WE DID.

WHY?

YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON? I LAID ‐‐

I PAID MAMA HATTIE.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU ABOUT TO PAY DANNY.

STOP IT!

UM, DANNY, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

IS THERE SOMEPLACE WE CAN TALK IN PRIVATE?

OH, NO! IS SHE DEAD?!

WHO? TROY?

[ GASPS ]

[ Voice breaking ] DON'T YOU SAY THAT, SAM!

OH, DANNY, I AM SO SORRY.

THEN WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

THIS IS THE WAY THAT I CRY.

HE BEEN TALKING TO DREW.

NO, NO, SHE'S ALL RIGHT. I KNOW SHE IS.

[ Sobbing ] OH, WHERE IS SHE? OH, NO, NO, MY BABY!

OOOH!

OH, NO! NO!

DANNY, NO, SHE'S NOT DEAD. AND SHE'S NOT HURT.

SHE'S JUST NOT HERE.

WELL, WE DON'T KNOW THAT.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT, EITHER!

WHAT ARE YOU, THE BUS DRIVER?

I'M ABOUT TO BE THE BUS DRIVER,

AND I'M GONNA BACK THE BUS UP OVER YOUR HEAD

IF YOU DON'T STOP IT.

DANNY DOESN'T LIKE THIS BUS RIDE. WHAT'S GOING ON?

LOOK, DANNY, IS THERE SOMEWHERE WE CAN TALK?

HEY!

WE DON'T KEEP ANY SECRETS.

THAT'S A PROBLEM.

TELL HIM, DANNY.

WHATEVER YOU NEED TO SAY TO ME, YOU CAN SAY IT IN FRONT OF SAM.

AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.

WHAT IS IT?

OKAY, UH...

DANNY, WE CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SEX.

WHAT ABOUT IT?

OKAY, LET ME SEE HOW I CAN ASK YOU THIS.

ARE YOU...

ARE YOU DOING IT OR ARE YOU NOT?

WHAT?

ARE YOU TAP, TAP, TAPPING IT?

BURYING THE GROUNDHOG?

PARKING THE CAR IN THE GARAGE?

THAT'S A VINTAGE FREAK RIGHT THERE.

WHAT?

SMACKING THAT ASS?

UNCLE FLOYD, THAT'S PERSONAL.

UM...NOT TO TROY.

WHAT?

SHE BEEN TALKING TO YOUR GRANDMAMA.

THAT'S AN OLD SCHOOL FREAK, THERE.

ABOUT SEX? YEP.

[ Voice breaking ] OH, NO!

GRANDMAMA TURNED MY WIFE INTO A HO!

YEAH.

WHY DID TROY DO THAT?

BECAUSE SHE'S NOT SATISFIED.

SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT!

YEAH, SHE DID!

STOP TRYING TO SUGARCOAT IT FOR THAT BOY.

SHE'S NOT SATISFIED WITH ME?

DANNY...

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HAVING PROBLEMS IN THAT AREA.

I'VE GOT SOME KAMA‐SAM‐TRA VIDEOS YOU CAN WATCH.

WELL, I'M NOT.

AND I'M NOT WATCHING THOSE VIDEOS AGAIN.

ACCORDING TO TROY, YOU MIGHT NEED TO DO A REVIEW.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS HAPPY.

WELL...SHE IS.

WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE LYING?!

FLOYD, LET ME HANDLE THIS.

WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON?

DANNY, SHE WANTED US TO COME AND TALK TO YOU.

YEAH. IT'S BECAUSE

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.

THAT'S WHY SHE GONE. [ GROANS ]

GONE? GONE WHERE?

DREW SAW HER GETTING ON THE BUS.

SHE COULDN'T RIDE YOU,

SO SHE RODE THAT DOG RIGHT ON OUT OF TOWN.

BIG, GRAY DOG.

IS IT TRUE? SHE'S GONE?

WE DON'T KNOW THAT.

SHE DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS UNHAPPY.

WELL, PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE WAS TELLING YOUR GRANDMAMA.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?

WELL, DANNY ‐‐ WOMEN ARE COMPLICATED.

YOU SPEND ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO FIND OUT

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM.

AND THEY FINALLY TELL YOU, THEY'RE LIKE,

[feminine] "OH, BABY, NO, IT'S NOTHING."

IT'S TERRIBLE!

TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE! IT'S TERRIBLE!

DANNY, KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY.

YEAH, I KNOW.

[ CHUCKLES ]

IT'S JUST SO SAD.

UH, YOU'RE SMILING AGAIN.

SORRY. THIS IS GRIEF UPSIDE DOWN, REMEMBER?

DANNY, WE DON'T KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT SHE'S GONE.

NO, SHE GONE. I CAN FEEL IT...

RIGHT IN MY LITTLE DANNY...HEART.

[ Baby talking ] WELL, IT'LL ‐‐ IT'LL BE OKAY.

WAIT. WHAT DID SHE SAY?

OH, IT WAS A LONG LIST.

IT WAS A LOT TO REMEMBER.

UM, WELL, THE FIRST ONE WAS

YOU WERE VERY, VERY, EXCEPTIONALLY TERRIBLE IN BED.

WHAT?!

STOP IT!

WHAT DID SHE SAY?

OKAY. SHE SAID...

WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID.

YES, WE DO.

NO, WE ‐‐

NO, WE DON'T, FLOYD.

OKAY, OKAY. HATTIE SAID ‐‐

EXACTLY!

MISS HATTIE SAID.

NOW, HOW MUCH CAN WE TRUST THAT?

YOU RIGHT. YOU RIGHT.

LOOK, I GOT TO GO FIND HER.

All: NO. NO. NO.

DON'T DO THAT. DON'T DO THAT. MNH‐MNH.

NO.

WELL, WHY NOT?

DANNY. DANNY.

♪♪ DANNY ♪♪

JUST LIKE AN R&B GROUP ‐‐ BREAKING UP.

WOMEN ARE LIKE FLOWERS.

YOU DON'T GO AFTER THEM TILL THEY'VE BEEN CUT DOWN

AND PLACED IN A VASE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

WHAT?!

VASE IS ALSO "VAZ."

BESIDES, DANNY, YOUR MOTHER AND DREW

ARE OUT LOOKING FOR HER.

OH, NO. I REALLY GOT TO GO AND FIND HER NOW.

WHY?

'CAUSE MY MAMA HATES HER, AND DREW THINKS SHE'S A MAN.

NO, YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T HATE HER.

STOP WITH THE LYING AGAIN!

SHE ‐‐ SHE DOESN'T LIKE HER.

COME ON.

BUT SHE'S WORKING ON IT.

WELL, THAT'S LINDA. DREW CAN'T STAND HER.

SHE'S HER COUSIN.

YEAH, AND HER COUSIN TOOK DANNY FROM HER.

I WAS NEVER WITH DREW.

YES, YOU WERE...

Together: ...IN HER MIND.

OKAY, GREAT. I GOT TO GO.

WHAT? WHAT?

WHO'S GONNA HELP ME FINISH THIS PROJECT?

LOOK, I'LL BE BACK, SAM.

DON'T RUN AFTER HER!

YOU'RE GONNA GIVE HER ALL THE POWER! THE FLOWER POWER!

SHUT UP, SAM!

DAMN!

YOU REALLY DIDN'T EVEN WANT HIM TO GO AFTER HER, DID YOU?

NO, I WANT HER GONE.

WHY?

I WANT THINGS TO GO BACK THE WAY THEY USED TO BE,

WHEN IT WAS JUST ME AND DANNY.

SAM, THOSE DAYS ARE OVER.

HE'S MARRIED, AND HE LOVES HER.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

HEY, LOOK, MAN, IT'LL BE OKAY.

OKAY? IT'LL BE OKAY.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

MAMA?

WE ‐‐

♪♪ PAPA HATTIE ♪♪

WE CAN'T FIND HER.

[ Over‐acting ] WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE.

ALL OVER TOWN, MAMA, AND SHE'S NOT THERE.

ARE YOU HERE, MAMA?

I DO DECLARE. TROY IS LOST AND NOT FOUND.

RIGHT.

MAMA?

[ Normal voice ] I DON'T THINK SHE'S HERE.

OOH, GIRL.

THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN. I KNOW.

YOU LIKE MY MANI?

I LOVE THE COLOR.

YEAH. IT'S SO CUTE.

MY PEDICURE WAS EVERYTHING.

OOH, YOU GOT A MASSAGE, TOO.

I DID. AND THEY DID REFLEXOLOGY ON MY FEET.

MM! I LIKE IT WHEN THEY DO THAT, RIGHT?

YES. THEY GOT ALL THE PRESSURE POINTS AND THINGS.

YEAH. MAKE YOU FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T WHY SHE WANTED US TO GO LOOK FOR THAT GIRL.

OKAY. I'M TELLING Y'ALL RIGHT NOW,

SHE GOT A LOT OF SECRETS.

LIKE WHAT? THE APPLE.

AND I AIN'T TALKING ABOUT A COMPUTER.

DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.

SO Y'ALL JUST GONNA SIT OUT HERE

AND JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT THAT GIRL LIKE THAT?

WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE, MAMA.

WE'RE SO OUT OF BREATH AND TAKEN ABACK.

WE COULDN'T ‐‐ WE COULDN'T FIND HER.

REST. YEAH.

SO, Y'ALL JUST GONNA KEEP ON GOING?

LIKE I CAN'T HEAR?

I'M RIGHT HERE.

I HEARD ABOUT THE MANICURE AND EVERYTHING.

Y'ALL KNOW DAMN WELL

Y'ALL AIN'T BEEN NOWHERE LOOKING FOR THAT GIRL.

Both: WHAT?!

I DROPPED Y'ALL OFF, AND I FOLLOWED YOU!

WHAT?!

I SEEN Y'ALL SITTING UP AT THE ICE CREAM PARLOR

AND AT THE MALL.

MAMA, YOU KNOW THAT WHEN I GET STRESSED,

I GO TO THE MALL.

YEAH, AND WHEN I'M STRESSED, I GO TO THE MALL, ALSO.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE SUCH A LAVISH WARDROBE COLLECTION.

I'M ALWAYS STRESSED OUT.

WELL, AIN'T NOW A DAMN TIME.

AND THEN, MAMA, YOU KNOW, THAT, ESPECIALLY NOW,

I GO TO THE ICE CREAM PARLOR TO GET MY SUNDAE.

OKAY, NOW THAT'S ONE THING I DON'T DO,

'CAUSE I AIN'T TRYING TO GET CALORIES.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

I'M NOT TRYING TO HAVE A BIG OL' ONE ON ME LIKE THAT.

DON'T BE SLAPPING MY DAMN GRANDBABY LIKE THAT!

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME SLAP YOU UPSIDE YOUR DAMN HEAD?

I'M SORRY. I AIN'T MEAN TO BANG YOUR BABY.

WELL, YOU TRYING TO BANG THE OTHER ONE.

WELL, YOU GOT A POINT THERE.

SHUT THE HELL UP, DREW.

I FOUND THAT GIRL ANYWAY.

YOU DID?!

YEAH, I DID.

DAMN!

WELL, WHERE WAS SHE, MAMA?

SHE WAS AT THE BUS STATION, WHERE SHE SAID SHE WAS.

WHY?

THAT GIRL WAS THERE SEEING HER MAMA.

HER MAMA HAD A LAYOVER RIGHT THERE

AND SHE JUST WENT TO SEE HER.

SHE WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT LEAVING DANNY.

OH ‐‐ OH, GOOD, GOOD.

SO, YOU GONNA SIT THERE AND ACT LIKE YOU'RE HAPPY?

OH, I ‐‐ I'M HAPPY, MAMA.

OH, REALLY, LINDA?

YEAH.

GRANDMA. HEY, BABY DANNY.

YOU LOOK SO NICE WITH YOUR PURPLE COAT.

THANKS.

YOU LOOK LIKE A COAT OF MANY COLORS.

REMIND ME OF EASTER SUNDAY.

YOU KNOW THAT'S LOUD AS HELL.

THANK YOU, GRANDMA. I NEED TO FIND TROY.

WELL, SHE AIN'T GONNA BE HARD TO SPOT YOU

WITH THAT COAT OF MANY COLORS ON.

HEY, DANNY.

HEY, DANNY! WHATEVER.

MOM, I NEED TO FIND TROY. I NEED TO TALK TO HER.

SHE BACK THERE IN THE KITCHEN.

SHE IS? YEAH, SHE BACK THERE.

GO ON AND TALK TO HER.

OKAY. UH, DANNY, BABY.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THAT JACKET OFF,

BECAUSE IT'S REAL LOUD.

UH, DANNY.

TAKE THAT DAMN JACKET OFF.

SHE GONNA NEED A HEARING AID.

YEAH, OKAY, BABY.

GO AHEAD, BABY DANNY, GO AHEAD.

HEY. HI.

SO, I HEARD YOU WERE LEAVING.

NO, THAT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING.

WHAT?

I'M SICK OF Y'ALL. I MEAN IT.

GET UP AND GET OUT, ALL THREE OF Y'ALL!

MAN, I AIN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS IN THE KITCHEN.

I HOPE SHE HEARD EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!

DON'T YOU HOLLER IN MY DAMN HOUSE.

I WILL KICK YOUR LEGS OUT FROM UNDER YOU.

TOLD YOU ABOUT LETTING THEM STRANGE MEN IN YOUR HOUSE.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, DREW?

YOU ABOUT THE STRANGEST MAN I'VE EVER LET IN HERE BEFORE.

WATCH THAT...

WATCH YOUR APPLE.

I SEE THE APPLE!

AND I AIN'T TALKING 'BOUT NO COMPUTER!

TAKE YOUR HARD DRIVE!

[ SCOFFS ]

I WAS JUST GOING TO SEE MY MOM

AT THE BUS STATION DURING HER LAYOVER.

SO, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING. NO.

OH, WELL... WHAT?

MY UNCLE SAID YOU TOLD MY GRANDMOTHER

YOU WEREN'T ATTRACTED TO ME,

AND I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU, AND THAT WE NEVER ‐‐

DANNY.

I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU. I LOVE YOU.

AND I LOVE YOU, TOO.

YOU JUST NEED SOME HELP IN THE ROMANCE DEPARTMENT.

DO I?

YES, CAPTAIN.

SORRY. I SAW THAT ON A BEER COMMERCIAL.

♪♪♪♪

SO, NO MORE ONESIES.

NO MORE EATING CEREAL IN BED.

NO MORE RUBBER DUCKIES.

BUT HE HAS ASTHMA!

NO MORE CUDDLING WITH MR. FARTS.

AND NO MORE LATE NIGHTS WITH SAM.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

YES.

OKAY.

[ Deep voice ] I CAN DO BETTER.

CAN YOU?

YES, WHY DON'T WE GO HOME RIGHT NOW,

AND I'LL SHOW YOU.

[ Deep voice ] OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

BABY, THAT WAS A LITTLE TOO DEEP.

[ Normal voice ] OKAY.

CALL ME DANIEL.

DANIEL. YEAH.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

LAST ONE IN THE CAR'S A ROTTEN EGG! [ GIGGLES ]

Hattie: BABY, JUST BEAR WITH HIM.

IT GONNA TAKE HIM A LITTLE WHILE.

HE BROKE YOUR PLATES ON THE WALL, MISS HATTIE.

I'M FINNA WHOOP ME SOME ASS.