Original subtitles

♪♪♪♪

OH, I AM SAMISHED.

AWWWW!

[ CHUCKLES ]

MANCAKES?

AND THERE'S A NOTE!

"TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE."

THANK YOU, BABY.

OH! DAFFODILS!

THAT'S OUR FRAGRANCE.

MMM.

MMM.

MMM! MMM!

‐MM. ‐SAM?

[ COUGHS ]

YEAH?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

I'M EATING BREAKFAST.

YEAH, THAT'S NOT FOR YOU.

UH, YEAH, IT IS.

NO, IT'S NOT.

THERE'S A NOTE.

DID YOU READ THE NOTE?

YES!

AND WHAT DID IT SAY, SAM?

[ SIGHS ]

"TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE."

AND DO YOU HAVE A LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS APARTMENT?

YEAH.

WHO?

WHO?!

[ CHUCKLES ] DANNY.

WHAT THE...

DANNY.

HE MADE THIS FOR ME.

DANNY DID NOT MAKE THAT FOR YOU.

YEAH.

HE ALWAYS DOES THESE KIND OF ‐‐

I DON'T KNOW ‐‐ [ CHUCKLES ]

SWEET THINGS.

HE DOES?

YEAH.

WELL, I MADE THAT FOR HIM.

OH, IT'S DISGUSTING. IT'S BITTER.

IT'S POISONED.

IT TASTES AWFUL.

SAM, I SWEAR...

WHAT? OKAY, I'M...

[ Muffled ] I'M SORRY.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YES, I AM.

‐NO, YOU'RE NOT. ‐TROY!

SAM, I SWEAR TO...

YOU SWEAR WHAT? WHAT?

‐NOTHING. ‐JUST SAY IT.

‐YOU KNOW WHAT? ‐I'M RIGHT HERE.

‐NO. ‐I'M GOOD LOOKING?

I'M WELL‐ENDOWED? ‐NONE OF THE ABOVE.

HEY. HEY, BABY.

HI!

TALKING TO MY WIFE.

WELL, SOMEBODY THINKS THEY'RE YOUR BABY.

WHAT?

YEAH, AND HE ATE YOUR BREAKFAST.

SAM!

WHAT?

I THOUGHT YOU MADE IT FOR ME.

WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?

BECAUSE THERE'S ‐‐

THERE'S A NOTE.

[ SIGHS ] "TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE."

[ SNIFFS ] AND IT SMELLS LIKE DAFFODILS!

THAT'S OUR FLOWER.

JUST STOP IT.

DANNY, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE.

SURE.

NOW.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW OUR FLOWER IS A LILY.

[ SNIFFS ]

DANNY, WE NEED TO TALK WHEN I GET BACK HOME.

‐ABOUT... ‐HIM.

‐TROY? ‐I MEAN IT.

I'M SERIOUS. ‐OKAY, BUT...

ALL RIGHT, BYE.

TROY.

[ SMOOCHES ] [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

LOVE YOU, TOO.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

SAM, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO UPSET HER?

MM. MMM.

WHO WE TALKING ABOUT?

TROY, MY WIFE.

OH, YEAH.

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO MARRY HER?

YOU'RE MAKING THIS REALLY DIFFICULT FOR ME.

‐NO, I'M NOT. ‐YES, YOU ARE.

LOOK, SHE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO FIT IN,

'CAUSE THIS WAS OUR PLACE BEFORE IT WAS HERS.

WELL, SHE'S HERE NOW, SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN

TO ADJUST TO HAVING HER HERE.

OH, I AM...

...ADJUSTING.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YES, I AM.

HOW? GIVE ME ONE EXAMPLE OF YOU LEARNING.

‐[ MUTTERING ] ‐HUH? WHAT'S THAT?

SPIT IT OUT, BUDDY.

DANNY!

WHAT?

WHAT ARE THESE?

HUH?

‐GIVE ME THOSE. ‐WHAT?

IT'S JUST US HAVING FUN TOGETHER, HUH?

‐GIVE ME THOSE! ‐NO!

WHY DO YOU HAVE MY WIFE'S PANTIES?

WHY WERE THEY IN THE WASHING MACHINE?

'CAUSE NORMAL PEOPLE WASH THEIR UNDERWEAR.

THEY'RE MY WIFE'S!

[ LAUGHS ]

IT'S SO FUNNY WHEN YOU SAY THAT.

"MY WIFE'S!"

SUCH CONVICTION.

‐GIVE THEM TO ME. ‐NO.

‐GIVE THEM TO ME NOW. ‐NO.

‐GIVE ME THOSE! ‐OH, OH!

GIVE ME ‐‐ I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH ME.

‐GIVE ME ‐‐ ‐COME AND GET THEM, HUH?

COME GET THEM. COME ‐‐ COME ‐‐ COME HERE!

GIVE ME THAT!

MAKE A WISH.

I AM SO SORRY.

THESE WERE MY FAVORITE!

WELL, NOT ANYMORE.

DAMN!

NO, NO, NO!

HEY, NO! ‐OW!

WE NEED TO TALK.

‐ABOUT? ‐TROY.

WHAT ABOUT HER?

DON'T YOU REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD?

BEFORE SHE CAME AROUND?

‐GOOD TIMES? ‐YEAH.

YOU AND ME, HAVING...

TIMES...

IN THIS APAR‐‐ APARTMENT.

FUN.

WELL, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO HAVE MORE GOOD TIMES WITH HER.

NO.

SAM?

‐YO, GET RID OF THE BI‐‐ ‐HEY!

WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

I'M ANGRY GUY!

ARE YOU CRAZY?

‐NO, YOU ARE! ‐NO, I'M NOT.

YOU MUST BE.

'CAUSE YOU MARRIED HER, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER.

I LOVE HER, OKAY?

AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

‐WHAT? BUT, DANNY. ‐NO BUTs, SAM.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS BUTT?

NO BUTs, SAM.

‐BUT ‐‐ BUT ‐‐ ‐NO.

‐B‐B‐B‐B‐BUT ‐‐ ‐NO.

BUT I MISS YOU, BUDDY.

NOW WHO ARE YOU BEING?

REALLY DESPERATE FRIENDSHIP GUY?

GIVE ME YOUR OTHER HALF OF THE PANTIES RIGHT NOW.

NO.

GIVE ME THE PANTIES RIGHT NOW.

I WANT A LITTLE SOUVENIR.

GIVE ME THE PANTIES, SAM.

FINE.

NO MORE PLAYING AROUND WITH THEM, AND I MEAN IT.

OKAY.

OKAY, I WON'T.

AND LOOK AT YOU, HUH?

LOOK AT YOU!

ALL GROWN UP.

ALL HUFFY SINCE YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED.

NOW WHO ARE YOU BEING?

I'M JUST A SOUTHERN BELLE.

I DO DECLARE.

FLOWERS FOR ME?

YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS ANY EASIER, YOU JERK!

GOOD MORNING!

YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET YOUR LOCKS CHANGED.

HI.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

SAM!

WHAT DID HE DO NOW?

LOOK.

OH!

HIM STILL WEARING PANTIES?

‐THIS ISN'T FUNNY. ‐I'LL SAY.

WE NEEDS TO GET HIM SOME HELPS.

HE'S DRIVING TROY CRAZY.

OH?

DREW.

I MEAN, OH, NO.

OH, NO?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TROY.

AND I KNOW SAM DOESN'T LIKE TROY.

NEITHER DOES YOUR MAMA.

DREW?

OR THE MAILMAN OR THE TRASH MAN.

DREW.

OR THE NEIGHBORS IN 307.

YOU KNOW, THEY JUST HAD A BABY.

DREW.

THE BABY DON'T LIKE HER EITHER.

AND YOU KNOW THEY GOT A DOG. ‐GOT IT.

AND EVERY TIME SHE GOT ON THE ELEVATOR,

HE JUST LOSE IT.

[ BARKING ]

HE THINK ONE OF HIS FRIENDS IS IN THE BUILDING.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

‐YOU GOT IT? ‐YEAH.

LONG AS YOU GOT IT.

WELL, SOMEBODY BETTER TALK TO HIM,

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA MOVE OUT OF HERE, AND I MEAN IT.

DANNY.

I MEAN IT.

WOW, DANNY, IS IT THAT SERIOUS?

YEAH. LOOK AT MY DAMN FACE.

OKAY, OKAY, I SEE THE FACE.

THESE WERE MY FAVORITE PANTIES!

REALLY?

SO, TROY WEAR GRANNY PANTIES?

I GUESS SHE NEED ROOM SO SHE CAN TUCK IT.

CHECK THE APPLE, BRO.

CHECK THE APPLE.

YOU JUST GO TOO FAR.

I'LL SEE YOU CREEPS AT WORK, MAN.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

‐THANK YOU. ‐IT'S HOT, NOW.

TICKET UP.

YOU DO KNOW THAT THAT AIN'T FREE, DON'T YOU?

YES, MISS HATTIE. I KNOW.

OKAY, GOOD ‐‐ JUST 'CAUSE YOU KIN PEOPLE

DON'T MEAN YOU GET EVERYTHING FREE 'ROUND HERE.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

OKAY, GREAT.

HEY.

HEY, BABY, YOU READY TO GO?

‐YEAH, I'M READY. ‐HEY, WHERE Y'ALL GOING?

TO THE DOCTOR.

OH, CHECK ON THE BABY?

YEAH.

WELL, SAVE YOURSELF ANOTHER TRIP

AND, UM, GET YOUR HEAD CHECKED OUT WHILE YOU'RE THERE.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HEAD, UNCLE FLOYD.

HEY, DREW.

WHAT UP, BIG HEAD?

WHERE'S THE CREW, DREW?

[ SIGHS ]

THEY'RE AT WORK.

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

WELL, IT'S DANNY AND SAM.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

MNH‐MNH!

WELL, WHAT ABOUT DANNY AND SAM?

‐TROY. ‐OH, TIME TO GO!

OKAY, BABY, WE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE DOCTOR.

‐WHAT THE HELL? ‐OKAY, HOLD UP.

‐I GOT TO HEAR THIS. ‐COME ON, BABY.

‐WE GOT TO GO. ‐NO, NO, NO, PHILIP.

I GOT TO HEAR THIS.

DON'T YOU START NO MESS, DREW.

WHAT DID SHE DO? DID SHE BREAK HIS HEART?

‐NO. ‐DID SHE STOMP ON IT?

‐NOT YET. ‐OH!

PHILIP, JUST GET GOING ALONG TO THE DOCTOR, NOW.

NO, MAMA!

I ‐‐ TELL ME.

OKAY, WELL, DANNY AND SAM ARE FIGHTING,

AND OF COURSE, YOU KNOW IT'S BECAUSE OF HER.

OOH, I KNEW SHE WAS THAT DIVIDE‐AND‐CONQUER

KIND OF HUSSY.

‐LINDA! ‐NO!

GET ON UP OUT OF HERE AND GO ON TO THE DOCTOR!

COME ON, BABY, WE GONNA BE LATE.

GET HER ON UP OUT OF HERE, FLIP!

CALL ME LATER.

AND YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING!

EVERY ‐‐ EVERYTHING! ‐OKAY.

‐EVERYTHING! ‐I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING.

‐YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING. ‐EVERYTHING.

‐EVERYTHING! ‐EVERYTHING!

‐DREW! ‐TOO STRONG. COME ON.

‐COME ON, BABY. ‐EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING!

AND YOU BETTER NOT CALL HER AND TELL HER NOTHING A THING.

[ CHUCKLES ] I'M SORRY, Y'ALL.

SHE THINK SHE PAY MY PHONE BILL.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I TELL YOU ONE THING.

IF YOU CALL HER,

I'M GONNA BREAK THEM VEINS YOU CALL LEGS.

'CAUSE THERE DAMN SURE AIN'T NO BONES IN THEM.

WATCH IT, OLD LADY.

YOU LOOK DUSTY.

YOUR HIPS ARE UNEVEN.

YOU KNOW, IF I WERE TO PUSH YOU,

YOU'D FALL, AND THEN YOU'D DIE.

‐[ CHUCKLES ] ‐[ CHUCKLES ]

[ As Hattie Mae ] OOH.

I GUESS YOU BETTER PUT ON YOUR LITTLE "JASKETJALL" SHOES.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU SO DAMN FUNNY.

YOU SEE THESE?

OHH.

THESE ARE INFLATABLE AIR BAGS.

AND WHEN I FALL,

I BOUNCE BACK UP.

AND WHEN I BOUNCE UP, I BOUNCE UP BLASTING.

YOU GOT ME?

BIATCH.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[ Normal voice] OKAY, WELL, APPARENTLY, SAM HAS PANTIES.

‐OOH. ‐OR MAYBE DANNY HAD THE PANTIES.

MM.

ACTUALLY, I THINK THEY TROY'S PANTIES.

‐OH. ‐I LIKE SAYING THAT WORD, Y'ALL.

PANTIES, PANTIES, PANTIES.

I JUST LIKE PANTIES.

TROY'S PANTIES? ‐YES.

I THINK HE WISH HE HAD A PAIR OF PANTIES.

WELL, THROW THEM RIGHT ON MY HEAD.

SAM RUINED TROY'S PANTIES.

WHAT THE...

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OVER THERE?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU TELL ME.

AND THEN I GUESS TROY MADE DANNY SOME BREAKFAST,

AND THEN SAM ATE IT.

BUT THAT'S KIND OF HILARIOUS.

YEAH, THAT'S ‐‐

THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING SAM WOULD DO, RIGHT?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

ALL I KNOW IS...

THIS ISN'T GONNA BE GOOD.

NOT AT ALL.

THAT'S IT!

I'M GOING OVER THERE TO TALK TO SAM.

AND SAY WHAT?

I'M GOING TO GIVE SAM A PIECE...

MNH‐MNH.

...OF MY MIND!

[ SIGHS ]

♪♪♪♪

OH!

OH!

MY HAND.

HMM.

YOU JUST WHO I COME HERE TO SEE.

MISS HATTIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

[ CHUCKLES ]

I CAME TO TALK TO YOU, SAM.

ACTUALLY, THIS DESK ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH

TO HOLD US BOTH.

WHERE THE HELL DANNY AT?

OH, HE'S OUT TO LUNCH.

HE...WENT TO LUNCH.

WITH HER.

AND WHO IS HER, SAM?

TROY.

DON'T YOU MEAN HIS WIFE?

[ LAUGHS ]

DON'T YOU THINK IT SOUNDS KIND OF FUNNY WHEN YOU SAY THAT?

I DON'T SEE A DAMN THING FUNNY ABOUT THAT, SAM.

I SEE A LOT OF DAMN THINGS FUNNY ABOUT IT.

HIS ‐‐ HIS ‐‐ HIS WIFE.

AND WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT, SAM?

WELL, 'CAUSE LAST MONTH, HIS WIFE WAS IN THE CLOSET.

WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN BY "IN THE CLOSET?"

IN A PLASTIC BIN

NEXT TO AN ELECTRICAL AIR PUMP.

YEAH.

BLOW‐UP STYLE.

[ BLOWING ]

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

OH.

COME ON, MISS HATTIE.

WHERE WE GOING, SAM?

WHAT?

YOU GONNA TAKE ME?

NO!

NO, NO! NO!

I'M JUST SAYING THAT...DANNY...

HE'S NOT REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER.

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH HER?

WELL, 'CAUSE DANNY'S ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE NAIVE.

AW, HELL, WE ALL KNOW DANNY IS A LITTLE SLOW.

THIS GIRL ‐‐ I‐I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE SEES IN HER,

‐BUT I ‐‐ IT'S ‐‐ ‐BUT...

BUT WHAT, SAM?

I THINK SHE'S HIS FIRST.

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'S HIS FIRST?

WELL, 'CAUSE SOMETIMES,

WHEN ‐‐ WHEN IT'S YOUR FIRST,

YOU THINK YOUR FIRST IS, YOU KNOW...

[ GRUNTING ]

YOU THINK IT'S THE BEST, BUT...

[ CHUCKLES ] OH!

IT'S NOT.

‐UH, SAM? ‐MM‐HMM.

IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY...

I WAS YOUR FIRST.

OLD WOMAN.

[ GROANS ]

YEAH, BUT DIDN'T I SHOW YOU THINGS?

WEARING CLOTHES.

OOH, DIAMONDS.

I TAUGHT YOU THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW, SAM.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I NEVER KNEW HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER.

YEAH, I MADE YOU WET THE BED.

IT WAS AN OLD BED.

IT WAS AN OLD GIRL.

GO ON MAKE ME FEEL GOOD.

[ GROANS ]

YOU KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD, SAM.

BUT YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO ‐‐

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD.

[ Voice breaking ] YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD.

A LITTLE GOOD, BUT MAINLY BAD.

I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!

SAM.

WHAT?

YOU NEED TO LEAVE THEM CHILDREN ALONE.

LET THEM BE TOGETHER.

YEAH, BUT...

WHAT IF HE MAKES A MISTAKE?

THEN THAT'S HIS MISTAKE TO MAKE.

HE'S SUCH A NICE GUY.

WE ALL KNOW THAT.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM GET HURT.

SAM, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT HIM GETTING HURT...

OR YOU?

WHAT?

STOP IT.

GET OUT THE WAY AND LET THEM BE TOGETHER.

AND WHATEVER MISTAKES HE MAKE,

LET THEM MAKE THEM TOGETHER.

CAN YOU DO THAT? ‐YEAH.

I‐I‐I CAN DO THAT.

YOU'LL TRY?

OKAY, HATTIE. I WILL TRY.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET ON UP OUT OF HERE.

OKAY.

OH, OH, SAM?

BABE, I FORGOT.

ONE MORE THING I COME OVER HERE FOR.

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO PAY YOUR TAB.

NO, NO, NO, MAMA HATTIE!

NO! [ WHIMPERS ]

OH, ACTUALLY, I HAVE CASH.

NO, BABY.

I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO PAY AN UNSECURE DEPOSIT.

YOU CAN LOOK AT MY FACE, TOO.

I HAVE A FACE.

I'M NOT JUST ONE THING FOR YOU.

RIGHT NOW, SAM, YOU MY STRIPPER.

MAGIC SAM!

CAN YOU GIVE ME AN... [ IMITATES DRUM MACHINE ]

GOTCHA.

[ IMITATES DRUM MACHINE ]

NO, NO, NO, NO. NOT THE R&B.

THE HOUSE MIX.

OH.

[ IMITATING DRUM MACHINE ]

IT ALL COMES BACK, HUH?

YEAH, SAM, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT!

GET YOURSELF ‐‐ OW!

WHOO!

WRONG PANTS. ‐YEAH.