Original subtitles

COME AGAIN.

‐BABY? ‐YEAH?

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, MAMA. I'M JUST TIRED.

I MEAN, YOU SHOULD BE THOUGH.

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING A LOT OF HOURS AROUND HERE.

WELL, I NEED TO SAVE MONEY,

AND YOU KNOW THAT SURE AIN'T EASY TO DO AROUND HERE.

YEAH.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR MAMA WILL BOUNCE CHECKS AROUND HERE

LIKE HER FINGERS MADE OF RUBBER.

I HEARD THAT. I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.

AND THIS RUBBER FIST GONE BUST YOU IN YOUR DAMN FACE.

I WISH YOUR DADDY HAD A WOBBLE.

COME ON, SIT DOWN, BEAN. SIT DOWN.

OH, YOU LOOK BAD. ‐YEAH, YOU DO.

COME ON, SIT DOWN. YOUR FEET SWOLE.

MM‐HMM.

YOUR HANDS SWOLE.

IT LOOK LIKE YOU BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD.

YEAH!

ALL THE DAY LONG.

COME ON, SON!

BABY JUST LOOK LIKE YOU SO WEARY!

YES! IN A WEARY LAND!

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WORN.

COME ON, NOW!

AND LOOK LIKE YOU TIRED!

BRING IT HOME. BRING IT HOME, SON!

AND THOSE SORE KNEES!

HEY, PHILLIP. ‐HEY, PHILLIP.

HEY, HONEY.

HEY, BABY. I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

YEAH?

THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD.

AWW. WELL, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I'M FINE.

OKAY, GOOD.

WELL, P. J. AND CAROLINE HAVE BEEN ASKING ABOUT YOU.

‐HAVE THEY? ‐MM‐HMM.

I MISS THEM.

I THINK IT'S TIME WE TELL THEM.

THAT WE'RE GETTING MARRIED?

AND THAT WE'RE HAVING A BABY.

ARE YOU SURE?

YES. TONIGHT.

OKAY.

DINNER?

‐I'LL BE THERE. ‐ALL RIGHT.

I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK, ALL RIGHT?

‐'MKAY. ‐I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU MORE.

IMPOSSIBLE.

FLOYD, MS. HATTIE.

OH.

GET BACK ON THAT GRIND.

‐FLOYD. ‐I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU MORE.

IMPOSSIBLE.

HELL NO.

WHERE YOUR HANDS BEEN?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE ‐‐

I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY HAND BEEN TODAY.

GARBAGE, MAYBE?

SHUT UP, FLOYD. LINDA!

SO ‐‐ SO LET ‐‐ LET ‐‐ LET ME MAKE SURE

I'VE GOT THIS HERE QUOTE CORRECT.

SO YOU AND PHILLIP AIN'T TOLD THEM CHILDREN ABOUT THE BABY

AND Y'ALL GETTING MARRIED?

NO.

WHY?!

I'M ON HIS TIME, MAMA. WE'LL TELL THEM TONIGHT.

OH, THIS HERE GONNA BE A MESS.

[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

ALL RIGHT.

[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

YES, SIR.

[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

UH‐HUH.

MA.

YOU PREACHIN' NOW, DUDE.

[ SINGING INDISTINCTLY ]

YES, SIR!

♪♪ WHAT YOU ♪♪

♪♪ GONNA DO WITH YOU ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WON'T DO ♪♪ ‐♪♪ WON'T DO ♪♪

♪♪ YEAH, YOU ♪♪

HA! HA!

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

♪♪♪♪

WELL, WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR YOU TO TELL THEM?

TWO MONTHS IS NOT A LONG TIME.

LINDA, TWO MONTHS IS A VERY LONG TIME.

NO, IT'S NOT, MAMA.

BABY, IN TWO MONTHS I GOT MARRIED...

BOUGHT A HOUSE, BUILT A BUSINESS...

Floyd: YEP.

...HAD MY CREDIT TORE UP.

I REPAIRED MY CREDIT AND HAD A BABY ALL IN TWO MONTHS.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YEAH, IF YOU'RE A MERE MORTAL,

BUT I'M A SUPERWOMAN.

MORE LIKE SUPERMAN.

NO, SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, SHE COULD DO THAT.

NO, SHE CAN'T.

NOW, LISTEN.

TWO MONTHS IS NOT A LONG TIME.

UNLESSEN YOU'RE ME.

YEAH, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT'S AN ETERNITY IN DOG YEARS.

ASK YOUR MAMA.

YEAH, AND THIS ROTTWEILER

'BOUT TO TEAR A HOLE INTO YOUR ASS.

NOW, SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD.

NOW, YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT, HATTIE.

SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE TOLD THEM KIDS.

THAT'S THE SAME THING I SAID!

BUT THEY'RE NOT MY CHILDREN!

WHAT?! WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

PHILLIP KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR HIS KIDS.

NOT IN THIS CASE HE DON'T.

UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE RIGHT AGAIN, HATTIE!

I KNOW!

DON'T GET COCKY, NOW, BECAUSE, I MEAN, A BROKE WATCH

IS AT LEAST RIGHT TWO TIMES DURING THE DAY.

AND FLOYD, A BROKE LEG IS BROKE UNTIL IT HEALS IN SIX WEEKS.

SO VIOLENT!

THANK YOU!

WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?

NOW, WE'RE GONNA TELL THEM TONIGHT.

NOW, PHILLIP KNOWS HIS KIDS BETTER THAN I DO,

AND UNTIL I'M OFFICIALLY THEIR NEW MOTHER,

I CAN'T CHALLENGE HIS DECISIONS.

BABY, YOU WALKING INTO A HORNET'S NEST.

NO, I'M NOT.

SEE FOR YOURSELF. YOU WILL SEE.

HE KNOWS WHAT'S BEST.

KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR WHO?

OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!

STOP IT!

I LEARNED THESE MOVES FROM YOU, MAMA.

I KNOW, BABY, BUT PUT YOUR CLAWS AWAY.

WHAT Y'ALL TALKIN' 'BOUT?

PHILLIP AND LINDA AIN'T TELL THEM CHILDREN

THEY WERE HAVING A BABY AND GETTING MARRIED.

‐YOU HAVEN'T? ‐NOPE.

WHY?

BECAUSE THEY CRAZY AS HELL.

THAT TOO.

DANNY, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THIS.

NO, THE HELL HE WON'T!

BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR SON IS SMOKING THAT NEW DUMB.

YOU CAN'T SMOKE DUMB. YOU CAN ONLY SNORT IT.

WAIT, YOU TRICKED ME.

LISTEN, BABY.

PHILLIP AND I HAVEN'T TOLD THE KIDS YET

BECAUSE HE WANTS TO WAIT UNTIL THEY'RE READY.

WHAT KIDS? I ALREADY KNOW.

BABY, I'M TALKING ABOUT TELLING HIS KIDS

ABOUT THE BABY AND THE...OKAY.

HE JUST WANTS TO BE PROTECT HIS CHILDREN,

JUST LIKE AS YOUR MOTHER,

I'VE PROTECTED YOU FROM SO MANY THINGS.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE...

Hattie Mae: THAT TIME YOU WOULDN'T STOP CRYING,

SHE LEFT YOU OUTSIDE ON THAT BACK PORCH FOR 13 DAYS

UNTIL THEM CATS BROUGHT YOU BACK, AND YOU WERE SOAKING WET,

AND THEN SHE WANTED TO DRY YOU OFF IN FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE,

AND YOU JUST GOT A NICE TAN.

MAMA!

BYGONES, BABY.

BUT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING ABOUT THIS, RIGHT?

NOT REALLY.

DANNY, STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.

FOCUS ON THE FUTURE!

HE DOESN'T GET IT. NONE OF US DO.

WELL, LOOK, LINDA...

NO, UNCLE FLOYD, I AM NOT HAVING THIS DISCUSSION

WITH YOU ALL.

TWO MONTHS IS NOT A LONG TIME!

BUT WHY SO LONG, MS. LINDA?

IT'S NOT LONG, DREW!

YEAH, IT IS A LONG TIME IN DOG YEARS.

OH!

YOU SAID THE SAME THING, FLOYD!

WE SAID THE SAME THING!

WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE, FLOYD.

NO, HELL NO.

ARE WE IN THE SAME BOOK?

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

BOOK ‐‐ BOOK CLUB?

LISTEN, Y'ALL, WE'RE TELLING THEM TONIGHT.

IT WILL BE FINE.

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN MY DAD GOT REMARRIED...

‐HOLD UP. ‐YOU GOT A DADDY?

YES! YES, I HAVE A DAD!

WHY CAN'T YOU BELIEVE THAT I CAME FROM PEOPLE?!

WHEN MY DAD GOT REMARRIED, I HATED MY STEPMOM.

WELL, HIS CHILDREN LOVE ME.

WELL, THEY LOVE YOU NOW BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MARRYING HIM.

YEAH, I'M WITH THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL ON THIS ONE.

I MEAN, LIKE, STEPKIDS CAN BE COOL

UNTIL THERE'S, LIKE, MARRIAGE AND COMMITMENT INVOLVED.

AND YOU'RE PRETTY COMMITTED.

LISTEN. HIS KIDS HAVE ALWAYS ADORED ME,

AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT!

UH, YOU WANT TO BET?

I DON'T BET, UNCLE FLOYD.

I DO.

OKAY. EVERYBODY JUST STOP IT.

WE'RE NOT GONNA BET ON MY MOM'S DEMISE.

PUT ME DOWN FOR $20, UNCLE FLOYD.

I GOT THREE ON IT. I DIDN'T GET PAID.

NOT ‐‐ NOT THIS WEEK.

WELL, Y'ALL MIGHT AS WELL THROW ME ON IN THE POT.

THAT'S A BIG‐ASS POT. OH.

WOULD Y'ALL STOP IT?

WE JUST TELLING YOU THE TRUTH, LINDA.

WELL, LISTEN.

THOSE LITTLE, PRECIOUS, ANGEL BABIES

ARE NOT GONNA TURN INTO DEMONS

JUST BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT.

[ ALL MURMUR ]

AND I'M MARRYING THEIR FATHER.

[ ALL MURMUR ]

AND I'M GONNA REPLACE THEIR DEAD MOMMY.

YEP!

AND WE DIDN'T TELL THEM WE WERE GETTING MARRIED

FOR TWO MONTHS.

AND THE BABY FOR THREE.

AND YOU SLEEPING IN HER BED.

AND YOU COOKING IN HER POTS.

AND YOU PROBABLY TESTED A COUPLE TUBES OF HER LIPSTICK.

OH, NO.

YEAH.

I THINK YOU EVEN HEARD YOURSELF, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH.

YEAH.

WE KNOW.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, SPORT.

THEY'RE GONNA HATE ME.

THIS TASTES FUNNY.

EAT IT.

I'M FULL.

BOY, YOU NEVER EAT YOUR VEGETABLES.

NOPE!

YOU WILL TODAY.

IF YOU SAY SO.

I SAY SO.

MISS LINDA, YOU'VE BEEN SO QUIET.

HAVE I?

YEAH.

OH.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

OH, YEAH! YEAH.

YOU KNOW, HONEY, I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, I'M ‐‐ I'M FINE.

OKAY, GOOD.

ALL RIGHT.

DAD, DO I HAVE TO EAT THIS?

BOY, JUST TAKE A BITE.

VERY GROSS.

YOU USED TO EAT YOUR VEGETABLES.

RIGHT!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

ONE DAY I LIKED THEM, THEN I HATED THEM.

OH, OH, OH. DOES THAT HAPPEN OFTEN?

WHAT?

I MEAN, YOU LIKE SOMETHING, AND THEN YOU JUST HATE IT?

UH, WELL, YEAH.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, CAROLINE?

WHAT?

I ‐‐ I MEAN, DOES YOUR LOVE JUST GO AWAY LIKE THAT?

NO. I'M AN ADULT.

HE'S A KID.

OH, REALLY?

EXCEPT FOR THAT TIME CARLTON BROKE YOUR HEART.

DON'T MENTION HIM.

I HATE HIM.

I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN.

WELL, YOU USED TO LOVE HIM.

WELL, NOT ANYMORE.

OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH.

THAT'S ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, I WANT YOU TWO TO CLEAR THE TABLE FOR ME, OKAY?

‐OKAY. ‐OKAY.

WAIT, DO I HAVE TO?

BOY, YES.

MISS LINDA, CAN YOU HELP ME?

NO.

UH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HER ABOUT, OKAY?

SO I WANT Y'ALL TO CLEAR THIS TABLE,

PUT THE DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER,

AND THEN COME IN THE OTHER ROOM

AND TALK TO ME AND MISS LINDA, OKAY?

‐OKAY. ‐BE RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S GOING ON?

HMM?

ARE YOU SURE WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN, LOOK AT THE KIDS.

WHAT ABOUT THEM?

WE‐‐ WE'VE WAITED SO LONG TO TELL THEM.

HUH?

I MEAN, HE HATES BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

FIRST HE LIKED THEM, THEN HE DIDN'T LIKE THEM.

DID ‐‐ I'M A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

NO, NO, NO. HONEY, NO.

HONEY, YOU'RE A LONG WAY FROM A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

AND ‐‐ AND WHAT ABOUT CAROLINE?

WHAT ABOUT HER?

HER LOVE IS SO FLEETING!

IT JUST GOES OUT THE WINDOW.

JUST ‐‐ JUST LIKE THAT,

I'M GONNA BE OUT THE WINDOW...

HONEY.

...AGAIN!

HONEY, THEY'RE JUST KIDS BEING KIDS.

SIT DOWN. RELAX. SIT DOWN.

WHAT IF ‐‐ WHAT IF...

WHAT IF WHAT?

WHAT IF THEY DON'T LIKE ME?

OH, BABY, THEY LOVE YOU.

BUT WE HAVEN'T TOLD THEM ‐‐

We're getting married.

WELL, HONEY, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

‐I DON'T KNOW, PHILLIP. ‐NO, BABY, REALLY.

DON'T THINK THAT. OKAY? THEY ADORE YOU.

BUT WE STILL HAVE NOT TOLD THEM ‐‐

Told ‐‐ told them we're getting married.

Why the hell are we whispering?

HONEY. LISTEN TO ME, BABY.

OKAY. WHAT WOULD THAT CHANGE?

IT'LL CHANGE A LOT!

I'LL SEE THEM EVERY DAY.

PHILLIP, I AM A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

DAMN, BABY.

BABY, YOU ARE NOT A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

YOU ARE A FULL‐GROWN CABBAGE!

NOW, COME ON. SIT DOWN.

IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

BUT, BABY, CABBAGE DON'T SMELL GOOD.

JUST SPRAY SOMETHING ON IT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S OKAY.

BABY, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, OKAY?

MY CHILDREN ADORE YOU.

BUT WHAT IF THEY HATE ME?

YOU HAVE MET MY CHILDREN, RIGHT?

YEAH.

AND THE LITTLE ONE HATES BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

AND I AM A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

RELAX! RELAX! RELAX!

I JUST DON'T WANT THEM TO THINK

THAT I'M TRYING TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM THEM.

THEY WON'T THINK THAT.

OR THAT I'M TRYING TO... REPLACE THEIR MOTHER.

THEY WON'T THINK THAT, EITHER.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE ‐‐

baby?

WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?

WELL, I'VE READ THAT SOMETIMES KIDS FEEL LIKE

THEY'RE BEING SQUEEZED OUT OF A FAMILY

WHEN A NEW BABY COMES INTO THE HOUSE.

HONEY, COME ON NOW. COME ON.

JUST STOP IT, OKAY?

I MEAN, YOU'RE JUST ‐‐ YOU'RE ALWAYS GETTING UPTIGHT.

WELL, I'M SCARED.

DON'T BE. HMM?

HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?

BABY, IT'S OKAY. IT REALLY IS.

IT'S OKAY. ‐IT'S NOT!

I MEAN, WE DIDN'T TELL THEM ABOUT THE...baby...

FOR THREE MONTHS,

AND WE DIDN'T TELL THEM ABOUT THE...marriage...

FOR TWO MONTHS.

NOW I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO COME HERE, KNOCK ON THE DOOR,

"HEY, LITTLE KIDS. I'M YOUR NEW MOMMY!"

I MEAN, THAT'S REALLY DIFFICULT FOR CHILDREN.

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.

I'M ‐‐ I'M TELLING YOU! WE'RE BRUSSELS SPROUTS!

SO WHAT DO WE DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST CALL IT OFF.

‐SAY WHAT? ‐YEAH.

WE'RE JUST GONNA CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF.

NO!

WELL, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

NO.

THEN WHY'D YOU SAY IT?

BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO GET YOU TO SEE

HOW RIDICULOUS YOU'RE BEING.

I'M NOT BEING RIDICULOUS, PHILLIP!

I'M A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

LINDA, YOU ARE NOT A BRUSSELS SPROUT!

KIDS!

NO, DON'T CALL THEM IN HERE NOW!

WE WEREN'T FINISHED.

THAT'S OKAY. YOU CAN FINISH LATER, OKAY?

OR NEVER.

YOU WILL FINISH.

NOW, MISS LINDA AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

OH, YOUR DAD ‐‐ DADDY HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

NO, WE HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

WHAT IS IT ALREADY?

OH, BOY. MM.

[ SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT ]

DO YOU LIKE MISS LINDA?

YEAH, WE LOVE HER!

THEN TELL HER.

WE LOVE YOU, MISS LINDA. WE THINK YOU'RE GREAT.

AWW, THANK YOU.

P.J.?

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

YOU'RE SO HELPFUL AROUND HERE SINCE MY MOM'S NOT HERE.

YOU CLEAN MY ROOM. YOU MAKE MY BED.

YOU CLEAN THE DISHES. YOU WASH THE CUPS.

YOU WIPE OFF THE TABLE.

YOU DO A LOT OF STUFF.

YOU'RE LIKE A REGULAR OLD MAID.

I THINK... [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]

Caroline: YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WOULD DO IF YOU WEREN'T HERE.

YOU'VE HELPED ME THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH TIME.

OH, THANK YOU, KIDS.

SO, WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF ME AND MISS LINDA GOT MARRIED?

BUT ‐‐ BUT ‐‐ BUT IT'S NOT CARVED INTO STONE.

IT'S NOT BRUSSELS SPROUTS OR CARLTON.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO, WE DON'T HAVE TO.

SAY WHAT?

WE'RE THINKING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

OH, WELL, I AIN'T WITH THAT BULL...

OH! OH!

BOY, IF YOU SAY IT,

YOUR CHEST GONNA BE TOUCHING YOUR BACK.

I WAS JUST KIDDING, DAD. I LOVE YOU, MISS LINDA.

WAY TO GO, DAD! ‐COME ON.

YEAH, THAT'S AWESOME!

REALLY?

YEAH. YOU MAKE MY DAD SO HAPPY.

CAN I BE THE FLOWER GIRL?

OH.

MY DANNY WAS GONNA BE FLOWER BOY.

BUT, I MEAN, I CAN TALK TO HIM.

I'M SURE I CAN GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THERE'S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT BOY.

WELL, AT LEAST HE LIKES BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

WHAT'S WITH YOU AND THESE DAMN BRUSSELS SPROUTS?

ALL RIGHT. GOOD. WELL, THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT. I'M COOL WITH ALL THIS.

NOW CAN I PLAY MY GAME?

AFTER YOU FINISH THE DISHES.

COME ON, MAN! YOU MARRYING HER!

I'M SORRY, DAD.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

BYE, BYE.

THAT IS SO COOL, GETTING MARRIED.

THANK YOU, BABY.

I LOVE YOU, GUYS.

WE LOVE YOU, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD AND FINISH THE DISHES.

SEE? I TOLD YOU.

YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.

ISN'T IT?

YEAH, BUT YOU FORGOT ONE THING.

WHAT'S THAT?

TO TELL THEM ABOUT...the baby.

DAMN!