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1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:08,474
Hattie: OH, YES,
SIR, AIN'T THIS A BEAUTIF‐‐
2
00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:10,443
WHAT THE HELL?
3
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:11,778
GOOD MORNING.
4
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,980
MORNING?
5
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,449
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
6
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:20,420
MMM!
THIS IS MUY DELICIOSO.
7
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:24,190
THAT MEANS DELICIOUS
IN SPANISH.
8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,027
THIS IS MUY ‐‐
9
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,196
MA MA SE, MA MA SA
10
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:33,099
MA MA COO SA.
11
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:37,504
THAT MEANS WHAT THE HELL
ARE Y'ALL DOING IN MY HOUSE?
12
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,105
MISS LINDA
INVITED US OVER.
13
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,306
MM‐HMM.
14
00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,275
WHY?!
15
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,778
I WANTED THEM
TO HAVE BREAKFAST.
16
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:49,115
SO YOU DO KNOW
I OWN A DINER, RIGHT?
17
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:57,157
DO YOU KNOW I WOULD LIKE
FOR THEM TO PAY, RIGHT?
18
00:00:58,424 --> 00:01:01,134
SO WHAT ARE THEY DOING
IN MY HOUSE?
19
00:01:01,134 --> 00:01:03,303
THIS IS FREE.
20
00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:06,973
Together: RIGHT?!
21
00:01:06,973 --> 00:01:12,278
YOU DO KNOW SAM AND I
HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT, RIGHT?
22
00:01:12,278 --> 00:01:16,016
SO HE'S NOT ALLOWED
TO EAT HERE.
23
00:01:16,016 --> 00:01:17,250
MAMA HATTIE.
24
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,720
GET OUT.
25
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,321
GET UP AND GET OUT.
26
00:01:21,321 --> 00:01:23,289
OH, GRANDMA.
[ SCOFFS ]
27
00:01:25,191 --> 00:01:28,394
DREW, STEP AWAY
FROM THE PANCAKES.
28
00:01:28,394 --> 00:01:31,197
MAMA HATTIE!
29
00:01:31,197 --> 00:01:34,968
SAM, I SEEN YOU TRY
TO STEAL THAT SAUSAGE.
30
00:01:34,968 --> 00:01:39,139
THAT'S NOT A SAUSAGE.
31
00:01:39,139 --> 00:01:41,542
WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU
WALKING AROUND HERE WITH,
32
00:01:41,542 --> 00:01:45,311
YOU NEED TO BE MAD
AT YOUR MAKER.
33
00:01:45,311 --> 00:01:46,713
GET OUT.
34
00:01:46,713 --> 00:01:49,182
IT WAS A SAUSAGE!
[ LAUGHS ]
35
00:01:49,182 --> 00:01:50,984
GET UP AND GET OUT.
36
00:01:53,153 --> 00:01:55,656
FINE.
37
00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:58,324
OH, YOU GONNA TAKE YOUR TIME.
NOW, GET FLIPPED, HEAR?
38
00:01:58,324 --> 00:01:59,526
HMM!
39
00:02:04,571 --> 00:02:06,640
MAMA,
WHY'D YOU DO THAT?
40
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,709
WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO FEED EVERYBODY?
41
00:02:10,811 --> 00:02:12,345
NO REASON.
42
00:02:12,345 --> 00:02:15,015
LINDA, SPILL IT.
43
00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:17,717
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE
MY COOKING'S GOOD ENOUGH
FOR PHILIP.
44
00:02:17,717 --> 00:02:19,953
WHY ARE YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN
WORRIED ABOUT YOUR COOKING?
45
00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:21,454
WELL...
46
00:02:21,454 --> 00:02:23,824
THEY SAY THE WAY
TO A MAN'S HEART
47
00:02:23,824 --> 00:02:26,492
IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH.
48
00:02:26,492 --> 00:02:28,028
NO, BABY.
49
00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:31,898
THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART ‐‐
DON'T!
50
00:02:31,898 --> 00:02:33,800
...IS IN THE BEDROOM.
51
00:02:39,873 --> 00:02:42,208
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
52
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:46,212
OH, I HAD
MY OWN IMAGINARY FAN.
53
00:02:46,212 --> 00:02:49,282
LIKE YONCE.
54
00:02:49,282 --> 00:02:51,351
STOP IT, MAMA.
55
00:02:51,351 --> 00:02:52,986
LINDA...
56
00:02:52,986 --> 00:02:55,321
WHAT IS GOING ON?
57
00:02:55,321 --> 00:02:56,723
I'M COOKING DINNER
FOR PHILIP TONIGHT,
58
00:02:56,723 --> 00:02:59,225
AND I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
HE ‐‐ HE LIKED IT.
59
00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:01,434
BUT YOU'VE ALREADY COOKED
FOR HIM.
60
00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:02,603
I KNOW,
61
00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:04,871
BUT I WANTED TO MAKE SURE
HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH
62
00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:08,509
ABOUT LIKING IT,
SO I GOT A FEW OTHER OPINIONS.
63
00:03:08,509 --> 00:03:10,410
IF YOU SAY SO.
64
00:03:10,410 --> 00:03:13,313
AND THEY LOVED IT.
65
00:03:13,313 --> 00:03:16,116
AND THEY LIED TO YOU.
66
00:03:32,966 --> 00:03:34,434
Hattie: HMM!
67
00:03:34,434 --> 00:03:36,570
OOH, [ CHUCKLES ]
68
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,971
HEY, BABY.
69
00:03:37,971 --> 00:03:40,006
COME ON OVER HERE
AND LET ME SIT DOWN.
70
00:03:40,006 --> 00:03:41,975
I MEAN LET YOU SIT DOWN.
71
00:03:41,975 --> 00:03:44,778
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
72
00:03:44,778 --> 00:03:47,981
SIT DOWN,
LET ME TALK AT YOU A MINUTE.
73
00:03:47,981 --> 00:03:51,585
LINDA, WHY YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN
WORRIED ABOUT YOUR COOKING?
74
00:03:51,585 --> 00:03:53,787
MAMA, HE LOVES ME.
I KNOW HE LOVES YOU.
75
00:03:53,787 --> 00:03:56,256
HE GOT TO LOVE YOU
TO EAT THAT FOOLISHNESS.
76
00:03:58,391 --> 00:04:02,936
LINDA, WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED
ABOUT YOUR COOKING?
77
00:04:02,936 --> 00:04:05,271
OH, YOU WANT TO KILL HIM.
78
00:04:05,271 --> 00:04:07,340
DON'T DO IT, BABY.
DON'T DO IT!
79
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:08,542
DON'T KILL HIM.
80
00:04:08,542 --> 00:04:09,810
DON'T KILL HIM.
81
00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:11,377
NO, MAMA.
82
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,479
I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE
TO BE ALL HE NEEDS.
83
00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:16,049
BUT YOU ARE ALL
THAT HE NEEDS, LINDA.
84
00:04:16,049 --> 00:04:19,352
YOU THINK SO?
I KNOW SO.
85
00:04:19,352 --> 00:04:21,454
THANK YOU, MAMA.
YEAH.
86
00:04:21,454 --> 00:04:23,056
LINDA?
87
00:04:23,056 --> 00:04:25,225
BABY,
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?
88
00:04:25,225 --> 00:04:26,259
NOTHING.
89
00:04:26,259 --> 00:04:29,395
IS HE BEATING ON YOU?
90
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:30,463
NO, MAMA.
91
00:04:30,463 --> 00:04:31,732
YOU SURE?
92
00:04:31,732 --> 00:04:33,499
YES.
93
00:04:33,499 --> 00:04:36,402
'CAUSE I DROP THAT THING
ON HIM IF HE IS.
94
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:39,238
THIS AIN'T WHAT HE WANT
RIGHT HERE.
95
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,741
I'D DROP MY OWN THING
ON HIM.
96
00:04:40,741 --> 00:04:43,710
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU SURE DID!
97
00:04:45,812 --> 00:04:49,415
OH, YEAH,
THAT'S HOW YOU GOT KNOCKED UP.
98
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:52,653
WAY YOU DROPPED THAT THING
ON HIM WAS SCANDALOUS.
99
00:04:52,653 --> 00:04:54,688
I MEANT, MAMA, I WOULDN'T
STAND FOR HIM HITTING ME,
100
00:04:54,688 --> 00:04:56,523
AND HE WOULDN'T DO
THAT ANYWAY.
101
00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:58,024
YOU SURE?
102
00:04:58,024 --> 00:05:00,360
BYE, MAMA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
103
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,202
WHY YOU KEEP TALKING
ABOUT COOKING
104
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,537
AND YOUR WEIGHT
AND EVERYTHING.
105
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,138
OOH, OOH.
106
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,943
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT MY WEIGHT.
107
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,878
I SAID COOKING ‐‐
MY COOKING.
108
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,880
OH, OH.
109
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,883
MY BAD, MY BAD, MY BAD.
110
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:20,453
I ‐‐ I JUST NOTICED
THE NECK AREA HAD GOT ‐‐
111
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:24,157
A LITTLE BIT BIG,
AND I THOUGHT YOU...
112
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,593
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE WANTED
TO WORK ON THAT.
113
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,562
MY BAD, MY BAD.
114
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,797
I TAKE THAT, I TAKE THAT.
115
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,132
LISTEN, MAMA.
116
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,834
MM‐HMM?
117
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,201
I LOVE HIM.
118
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,303
AND I JUST WANT TO DO MY BEST
TO MAKE HIM HAPPY.
119
00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:40,073
BUT YOU DO MAKE HIM HAPPY!
120
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,875
I KNOW.
121
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,013
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
122
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,650
ALL RIGHT,
I AIN'T GONNA PRESS THE ISSUE.
123
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:53,453
BUT YOU LET ME KNOW
IF SOMETHING GOES DOWN.
124
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,855
'CAUSE I'LL DROP
THAT THING ON HIM.
125
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,322
[ CHUCKLES ]
126
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:59,693
YEAH, YOU KNOW I WAS A GANGSTER
IN MY DAY, BABY.
127
00:06:04,771 --> 00:06:06,406
I TOLD YOU
128
00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:08,074
HUH.
129
00:06:08,074 --> 00:06:11,244
UH, WHO DID
YOU STEAL IT FROM?
130
00:06:11,244 --> 00:06:13,547
I DIDN'T STEAL IT,
IT'S MY DESIGN.
131
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,516
SOME GUYS BENCH PRESS,
132
00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:17,584
I WORD PRESS.
133
00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:19,152
I SAW HIM.
134
00:06:19,152 --> 00:06:21,087
HE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
WORKING ON IT.
135
00:06:21,087 --> 00:06:23,156
HE DIDN'T STEAL IT.
I SURE DIDN'T.
136
00:06:23,156 --> 00:06:28,161
NO HOS, JUST COMPUTOS.
137
00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:30,330
WELL, I AM SHOCKED.
138
00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:33,233
WELL, THERE'S MORE SHOCK
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
139
00:06:35,168 --> 00:06:39,405
TOUCH ME
AND YOU'LL DIE.
140
00:06:39,405 --> 00:06:41,207
YOU PROMISE?
141
00:06:47,614 --> 00:06:48,649
HEY.
142
00:06:48,649 --> 00:06:50,551
HEY ‐‐ OH, NO!
143
00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:52,452
WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?
144
00:06:53,987 --> 00:06:55,055
I DON'T KNOW.
145
00:06:55,055 --> 00:06:57,758
GRANDMA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
146
00:06:57,758 --> 00:07:01,234
[ LOUDLY ]
HI, MR. HATTIE!
147
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:04,337
YOU NEVER COME HERE!
148
00:07:04,337 --> 00:07:06,006
IS HER THING TURNED UP?
149
00:07:06,006 --> 00:07:08,074
CAN SHE?
150
00:07:08,074 --> 00:07:13,814
MR. HATTIE, DID YOU GET
YOUR MEDICATION CONFUSED AGAIN?!
151
00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:18,118
ARE YOU LOST, HON‐BUN?
152
00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:21,187
AND YOUR MEDICINE
IS IN THIS PURSE.
153
00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:23,824
DID YOU HEAR THAT,
HONEY TRAMP?!
154
00:07:26,226 --> 00:07:28,361
WHAT'S GOING ON?
155
00:07:28,361 --> 00:07:31,632
YOUR MOTHER'S GOT ME
A LITTLE BIT WORRIED.
156
00:07:31,632 --> 00:07:32,899
WHY?
157
00:07:32,899 --> 00:07:37,370
SHE TALKING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT
AND EVERYTHING.
158
00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:39,039
LOSING WEIGHT,
GAINING WEIGHT,
159
00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:41,441
I MEAN,
ALL WOMEN DO THAT.
160
00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:44,377
IS THAT WHY
YOU DON'T EAT?
161
00:07:44,377 --> 00:07:45,912
I EAT.
162
00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:50,150
I AIN'T TALKING
ABOUT NO DAMN CELERY, LETTUCE.
163
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:55,355
I'M TALKING ABOUT A STEAK
OR HAMBURGER MEAT ‐‐ FOOD!
164
00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:57,791
GRANDMA, MY MOM IS ALWAYS TRYING
TO LOSE A FEW POUNDS.
165
00:07:57,791 --> 00:07:59,860
YEAH,
BUT SHE'S COOKING NOW.
166
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:03,870
AND WE
ARE ENJOYING IT NOW.
167
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:07,407
YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG THIS HEIFER HERE.
168
00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:09,676
BUT, BABY, THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOUR MAMA, TOO, NOW.
169
00:08:09,676 --> 00:08:11,177
NOW, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
170
00:08:11,177 --> 00:08:13,880
WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE
GOES TRYING TO FEED THESE MEN,
171
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,549
SHE GETS CAUGHT UP IN THAT MODE,
172
00:08:15,549 --> 00:08:18,084
AND YOU KNOW EVERY TIME SHE GETS
CAUGHT UP IN THAT MODE,
173
00:08:18,084 --> 00:08:20,821
THE SAME THING
GO DOWN EVERY TIME.
174
00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:23,023
YEAH.
WITH HER TRYING TO PLEASE THEM.
175
00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:24,891
REMEMBER HOW DEPRESSED SHE WAS
AFTER LIONEL?
176
00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:26,326
YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT.
177
00:08:26,326 --> 00:08:28,161
HOW BAD IT WAS
WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH WILL.
178
00:08:28,161 --> 00:08:30,496
YEAH, WE ALMOST HAD
TO RESUSCITATE HER THEN.
179
00:08:30,496 --> 00:08:32,298
MM‐HMM.
180
00:08:32,298 --> 00:08:33,867
I KNOW
WHAT WE NEED TO DO.
181
00:08:33,867 --> 00:08:36,637
WE JUST NEED TO SHOW HER
THAT SHE'S GREAT ‐‐
182
00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:39,205
JUST THE WAY SHE IS.
183
00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:41,074
I THINK
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
184
00:08:41,074 --> 00:08:42,843
YOU KNOW WHAT.
185
00:08:42,843 --> 00:08:45,612
THAT'S
AN EXCELLENT IDEA THERE.
186
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,681
I'M SO GLAD I THOUGHT
OF THAT.
187
00:08:50,751 --> 00:08:52,619
SO HOW DO WE DO IT?
188
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,888
MEET ME AT MY HOUSE AT 8:00.
189
00:08:54,888 --> 00:08:56,189
I GOT AN IDEA.
190
00:08:56,189 --> 00:08:58,058
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
191
00:09:01,334 --> 00:09:02,368
ALL RIGHT.
192
00:09:02,368 --> 00:09:04,037
OKAY.
193
00:09:04,037 --> 00:09:05,972
OKAY, THEN.
194
00:09:05,972 --> 00:09:08,174
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
195
00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:09,510
OKAY, THEN.
196
00:09:09,510 --> 00:09:11,144
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
197
00:09:11,144 --> 00:09:12,513
BYE.
198
00:09:12,513 --> 00:09:16,249
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
LOOK, UH...
199
00:09:16,249 --> 00:09:18,819
OKAY, OKAY, THEN!
200
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,386
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
201
00:09:20,386 --> 00:09:22,155
BYE, DEAR.
202
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:27,293
WHO WAS THAT ON THE PHONE,
HATTIE?
203
00:09:27,293 --> 00:09:28,562
THAT ‐‐ THAT'S THE REV.
204
00:09:28,562 --> 00:09:31,598
HE SURE LIKE TO PREACH.
HELL!
205
00:09:31,598 --> 00:09:32,666
WELL, LOOK HERE.
206
00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:34,067
HERE'S THE RECEIPTS
AND EVERYTHING.
207
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,602
I'M STILL SURPRISED
YOU CAN EVEN GET
208
00:09:35,602 --> 00:09:38,639
THAT ROTARY‐DIAL PHONE
TO WORK.
209
00:09:38,639 --> 00:09:41,875
BABY, EVERYTHING
UP IN THIS HERE HOUSE WORKS ‐‐
210
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:44,377
INCLUDING ME.
211
00:09:44,377 --> 00:09:45,512
[ CHUCKLES ]
212
00:09:45,512 --> 00:09:46,813
WELL, THERE ARE YOUR RECEIPTS,
HONEY.
213
00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:49,249
ALL RIGHT, SO ‐‐
SO LINDA'S LOCKING UP THE PLACE?
214
00:09:49,249 --> 00:09:51,351
YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
DID SHE ASK ANY QUESTIONS?
215
00:09:51,351 --> 00:09:53,253
NO, NO, NO.
OKAY, OKAY, GOOD.
216
00:09:53,253 --> 00:09:55,288
WHAT'S GOING ON,
AND WHAT'S ALL THIS HERE?
217
00:09:55,288 --> 00:09:57,758
THIS HERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL
I GOT PLANNED FOR LINDA.
218
00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:58,959
WHAT?
219
00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:01,167
I JUST WANT HER TO KNOW
HOW SPECIAL SHE IS.
220
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,904
SHE IS?
221
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,640
YEAH, SHE IS!
222
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,008
WAIT.
223
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,442
IS SHE DYING?
224
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,978
NO, FOOL!
225
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,114
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE BABY?
226
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,349
NO, FLOYD!
227
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,052
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH YOU?
228
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,854
HELL NO.
229
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,356
BUT THERE'S GONNA BE
SOMETHING OTHER WRONG WITH YOU
230
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,425
IN A MINUTE.
231
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:29,630
NOW, YOU KNOW YOU AIN'T NEVER
BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF LINDA BEFORE.
232
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,732
YES, I HAVE!
233
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,800
WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT,
HATTIE?
234
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,336
I TOLD YOU, I W‐‐
YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL SEE.
235
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,238
OKAY.
236
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,206
I GOT
ALL THE DECORATIONS.
237
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,876
[ HONKS NOISEMAKER ]
238
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,446
AND THEY WERE NOT CHEAP ‐‐
LIKE DREW.
239
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,883
WELL,
MINE WEREN'T EXPENSIVE.
240
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,652
I JUST THROW THE GUY
MY SMILE,
241
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:56,356
AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU CAN HAVE
WHATEVER YOU LIKE."
242
00:10:56,356 --> 00:11:01,367
PROBABLY BECAUSE HE THOUGHT
YOU WERE A GUY.
243
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,369
YOU KNOW, I'M ‐‐
I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF ANYONE
244
00:11:03,369 --> 00:11:05,606
COULD EVER MISTAKE EITHER OF US
FOR A GUY.
245
00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:08,274
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
246
00:11:08,274 --> 00:11:11,477
SNAP!
247
00:11:11,477 --> 00:11:13,680
GRANDMA, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO WITH THESE?
248
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,016
JUST TAKE THEM
AND PUT THEM EVERYWHERE.
249
00:11:16,016 --> 00:11:17,618
JUST SET THEM EVERYWHERE.
PUT THEM EVERYWHERE.
250
00:11:17,618 --> 00:11:20,754
OKAY, COME ON, SAM,
HELP ME.
251
00:11:20,754 --> 00:11:22,055
SURE.
252
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:25,491
ALL RIGHT, SO WHILE
THOSE TWO CREEPS DO THAT,
253
00:11:25,491 --> 00:11:27,360
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO?
254
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,696
GO AND HELP THEM CREEPS.
255
00:11:32,298 --> 00:11:34,868
WELL, HELL,
WHY AM I HERE?
256
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,738
'CAUSE YOU'RE A CREEP!
257
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,806
THIS COMING
FROM THE CRYPT KEEPER.
258
00:11:42,108 --> 00:11:44,477
FINE, FINE.
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
259
00:11:44,477 --> 00:11:48,181
GO AND CALL PHILIP AND MAKE SURE
HE COMES OVER HERE,
260
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:50,383
'CAUSE I WANT HIM TO KNOW
HOW SPECIAL SHE IS, TOO.
261
00:11:50,383 --> 00:11:52,252
WHY?
262
00:11:52,252 --> 00:11:53,754
FLOYD...
263
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,756
OH!
264
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,224
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE
WITH THE REVEREND,
265
00:11:58,224 --> 00:12:01,802
AND I'M TRYING
TO BE REAL PATIENT.
266
00:12:01,802 --> 00:12:02,969
FINE, I'LL CALL HIM,
267
00:12:02,969 --> 00:12:04,905
I'LL CALL HIM.
268
00:12:04,905 --> 00:12:08,174
HE REALLY SAVED HIMSELF
AN ASS‐WHUPPING THEN.
269
00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:11,512
SHE GET ON MY DAMN NERVES.
270
00:12:19,653 --> 00:12:21,522
[ NOISEMAKERS HONK ]
271
00:12:21,522 --> 00:12:24,024
SURPRISE!
272
00:12:24,024 --> 00:12:26,860
WHAT THE...
273
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:30,997
I'M YOUR CHILD.
YOU'RE LUCKY I WASN'T PACKING.
274
00:12:30,997 --> 00:12:33,399
COME ON IN.
SIT DOWN, HONEY.
275
00:12:33,399 --> 00:12:34,768
WHAT IS THIS?
276
00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:37,437
IT'S SOMETHING SPECIAL
FOR YOU.
277
00:12:37,437 --> 00:12:39,039
OH, BABY,
IS THIS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
278
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:41,508
I DON'T THINK SO.
279
00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:45,045
HE DON'T KNOW
HER DAMN BIRTHDAY?
280
00:12:45,045 --> 00:12:46,780
UH, NO.
281
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:47,948
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
282
00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:50,717
IT'S THIS
"YOU ARE SO SPECIAL" DAY ‐‐
283
00:12:50,717 --> 00:12:52,218
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
284
00:12:52,218 --> 00:12:54,755
[ HONKS NOISEMAKER ]
285
00:12:54,755 --> 00:12:56,456
OH, MAMA.
286
00:12:56,456 --> 00:12:59,693
YEAH.
AND WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU.
287
00:12:59,693 --> 00:13:02,368
WHO ‐‐ WHO ‐‐ WHO ALL?
288
00:13:02,368 --> 00:13:04,004
WHAT AM I,
CHOPPED LIVER?
289
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:06,206
I'M HERE, TOO.
290
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:08,875
YOU ‐‐
TURN TO THE SIDE.
291
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,210
THERE SHE GO!
SHE DID, SHE DID!
292
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,212
SHE DID SEE YOU!
293
00:13:12,212 --> 00:13:14,715
HEY, DREW.
I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.
294
00:13:14,715 --> 00:13:18,451
EAT A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING.
295
00:13:18,451 --> 00:13:20,486
[ NOISEMAKERS HONK ]
296
00:13:23,389 --> 00:13:25,526
AND SO AM I.
297
00:13:25,526 --> 00:13:28,562
NOT BECAUSE I SLEPT OVER,
EITHER.
298
00:13:28,562 --> 00:13:30,330
YEAH, ME, TOO.
299
00:13:36,469 --> 00:13:39,673
OKAY.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?
300
00:13:39,673 --> 00:13:43,476
IT'S ‐‐ IT'S SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU YOU'RE SPECIAL.
301
00:13:43,476 --> 00:13:45,111
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN COOKING
302
00:13:45,111 --> 00:13:48,982
AND EVERYTHING AND TRYING
TO DRESS UP TO IMPRESS THAT MAN.
303
00:13:48,982 --> 00:13:50,651
BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ‐‐
304
00:13:50,651 --> 00:13:53,854
BUT, MOM...
305
00:13:53,854 --> 00:13:55,221
MMM!
306
00:13:55,221 --> 00:13:57,057
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
307
00:13:59,726 --> 00:14:02,836
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
ABOUT HIM BEING RIGHT THERE.
308
00:14:02,836 --> 00:14:07,608
I WANT HIM TO KNOW
HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE, TOO.
309
00:14:07,608 --> 00:14:10,310
WE ALL WANT YOU
TO KNOW, MAMA.
310
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:11,612
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
311
00:14:11,612 --> 00:14:13,947
SIT DOWN.
312
00:14:13,947 --> 00:14:16,883
I GOT SOMETHING I WANT
TO SAY.
313
00:14:16,883 --> 00:14:19,986
HELP A LADY TO THE STAGE,
FLOYD.
314
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:23,990
OH, I'M SO SORRY,
SIR.
315
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:26,226
SIT.
316
00:14:26,226 --> 00:14:28,161
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
317
00:14:28,161 --> 00:14:31,598
THANK YOU.
318
00:14:31,598 --> 00:14:34,635
HONEY, I JUST WANT YOU
TO KNOW...
319
00:14:34,635 --> 00:14:38,672
♪♪ THAT WHEN YOU WERE BORN ♪♪
320
00:14:38,672 --> 00:14:42,342
♪♪ I WAS SO PROUD ♪♪
321
00:14:42,342 --> 00:14:45,145
♪♪ TO BE CALLED YOU MOTHER ♪♪
322
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:49,349
♪♪ AND WHEN YOU WERE BORN ♪♪
323
00:14:49,349 --> 00:14:53,086
♪♪ YOU WERE THE LIGHT
OF MY WORLD ♪♪
324
00:14:53,086 --> 00:14:57,558
♪♪ AND WHEN YOU WERE BORN ♪♪
325
00:14:57,558 --> 00:14:59,693
♪♪ I WAS JUST... ♪♪
326
00:14:59,693 --> 00:15:02,736
♪♪ HAPPY TO HAVE MY OWN BUSINESS,
'CAUSE IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, ♪♪
327
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,938
♪♪ I WOULDN'T HAVE ONE ♪♪
328
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:08,709
♪♪ AND ‐‐
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW ♪♪
329
00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:13,580
♪♪ THAT YOU ARE THE WIND ♪♪
330
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,951
♪♪ I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU ARE THE... ♪♪
331
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,285
[ BLOWS ]
OH!
332
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:23,023
♪♪ ...THE WIND BENEATH MY... ♪♪
333
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,826
♪♪ ...MY... ♪♪
STAY WITH IT.
334
00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:28,394
♪♪ ...MY WINGS ♪♪
335
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:31,497
MAN!
WHOO!
336
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,366
GOOD JOB.
OH, MOM.
337
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,736
GET UP, GET UP THERE.
GET UP.
338
00:15:35,736 --> 00:15:37,270
YOU DID THAT.
OH, MAMA.
339
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,139
YOU DID THAT.
Danny: OKAY.
340
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:42,375
MAMA!
341
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,443
ALL RIGHT,
NOW IT'S MY TURN.
342
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,545
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
343
00:15:44,545 --> 00:15:46,112
WHOO, DANNY!
GO, DANNY!
344
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,914
MAMA...
345
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,283
♪♪ I LOVE YOU ♪♪
346
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,353
DANNY, UH‐UH, BABY,
STAY IN YOUR LANE.
347
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,356
I'M DRIVING THAT CAR.
348
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,392
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
349
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,935
MAMA, WHAT CAN I SAY?
350
00:16:01,935 --> 00:16:04,571
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME,
AND YOU LOVE ME.
351
00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:06,039
EVEN THOUGH
MY DADDY WASN'T THERE,
352
00:16:06,039 --> 00:16:07,440
YOU ALWAYS GAVE ME HOPE.
353
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,176
AND YOU KEPT ME STRONG,
YOU KEPT ME HUMBLE.
354
00:16:10,176 --> 00:16:13,647
YOU'D ALWAYS SAY, "BABY,
YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA MAKE IT."
355
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:15,549
AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
356
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:17,818
OH, DANNY!
357
00:16:20,053 --> 00:16:22,322
Floyd: OH, WHOA!
NICE DISMOUNT.
358
00:16:25,391 --> 00:16:27,628
UH, SIR...
359
00:16:29,663 --> 00:16:31,497
YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO OLD
FOR THAT NOW, ALL RIGHT?
360
00:16:31,497 --> 00:16:34,300
ALL RIGHT,
THERE.
361
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,937
[ SNORING ]
362
00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:39,439
FLOYD?
363
00:16:39,439 --> 00:16:41,508
I PAID YOU IN CASH,
WOMAN!
364
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:45,812
HUH? OH.
I'M SORRY.
365
00:16:45,812 --> 00:16:47,413
UM...
366
00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:52,318
DEAR LINDA,
YOU MAKE ME SO...
367
00:16:52,318 --> 00:16:54,187
PROUD.
368
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,523
EVER SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR DOG
FROM THAT WOMAN
369
00:16:56,523 --> 00:16:59,159
THAT TOOK THE DOG FROM YOU
AND STOMPED A MUD HOLE
370
00:16:59,159 --> 00:17:01,401
IN HER BEHIND RIGHT THERE
IN THE STREET,
371
00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:02,836
I WAS SO PROUD
OF THAT MOMENT.
372
00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:06,106
MMM. I DIDN'T DO THAT,
UNCLE FLOYD.
373
00:17:06,106 --> 00:17:07,608
IT WASN'T YOU?
374
00:17:07,608 --> 00:17:10,110
UNH‐UNH.
375
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:11,812
OH!
376
00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:16,983
I'M STILL VERY PROUD OF YOU
WHEN YOU TOOK YOUR DOLLS
377
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:20,486
AND YOUR TOYS, SAID YOU WEREN'T
GONNA LET NOBODY PLAY WITH THEM.
378
00:17:20,486 --> 00:17:21,822
NO, NO.
NO?
379
00:17:21,822 --> 00:17:24,825
SHE TOOK MY DOLL AND I TOLD HER
IF SHE GAVE IT BACK,
380
00:17:24,825 --> 00:17:26,560
SHE COULD PLAY
WITH MY TOYS.
381
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,962
WELL, HELL, YOU WAS THERE,
YOU ALREADY KNOW THE STORY.
382
00:17:31,698 --> 00:17:33,934
TOOK YOUR DAMN TOYS.
383
00:17:35,836 --> 00:17:37,103
ALL RIGHT.
384
00:17:37,103 --> 00:17:40,106
OH.
385
00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:42,042
FIRST OFF,
I WANT TO START BY SAYING
386
00:17:42,042 --> 00:17:45,846
THAT I LOOK ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS.
387
00:17:45,846 --> 00:17:47,413
SECOND OF ALL,
388
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:50,450
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT ALL OF US
389
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:54,287
THAT EVEN WHEN WE MAKE MISTAKES,
WE MAY FALL,
390
00:17:54,287 --> 00:17:58,559
BUT WE CAN GET BACK UP
AND DUST OURSELVES OFF.
391
00:17:58,559 --> 00:18:03,236
NOW, YOU ARE FAR MORE DUSTIER
THAN THE REST OF US.
392
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,707
[ BLOWS ]
[ COUGHS ]
393
00:18:06,707 --> 00:18:08,742
COME ON,
I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE!
394
00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:10,511
[ COUGHS ]
395
00:18:10,511 --> 00:18:13,413
BUT THE POINT IS
THAT WE LOVE YOU,
396
00:18:13,413 --> 00:18:19,152
AND I AM SO PROUD AND SO HONORED
TO CALL YOU MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW.
397
00:18:21,287 --> 00:18:23,924
MESSAGE!
398
00:18:23,924 --> 00:18:26,527
UH...
UM, UM, DREW?
399
00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:29,429
OKAY, MAYBE THAT LAST PART
WAS OVEREXAGGERATED,
400
00:18:29,429 --> 00:18:33,634
BUT, UM, EVERYTHING ELSE
WAS DEAD ON.
401
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:37,370
IT'S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG
WITH HER, YEAH.
402
00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:39,940
OKAY.[ CHUCKLES ]
403
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:41,141
SO...
404
00:18:41,141 --> 00:18:43,910
I JUST WANT TO CONFESS
I HAVEN'T ENGAGED
405
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:46,446
IN A SEXUAL ACT IN OVER AN HOUR.
406
00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,417
UGH!
407
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:53,687
MISS LINDA...
408
00:18:53,687 --> 00:18:55,922
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR...
409
00:18:58,091 --> 00:19:00,961
FOR RAISING DANNY.
410
00:19:00,961 --> 00:19:03,504
I WAS RAISED
BY A PACK OF WOLVES.
411
00:19:06,139 --> 00:19:10,010
A PACK OF WHORISH WOLVES.
412
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:12,045
AND HE'S SUCH A GREAT GUY,
413
00:19:12,045 --> 00:19:15,716
AND YOU MAKE ME WANT
TO BE A BETTER GUY EVERY DAY.
414
00:19:15,716 --> 00:19:18,118
DO I?
415
00:19:18,118 --> 00:19:19,620
YEAH.
416
00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,187
YOU DO.
417
00:19:21,187 --> 00:19:22,589
OH!
418
00:19:22,589 --> 00:19:24,725
DAMN!
419
00:19:24,725 --> 00:19:26,126
OH!
420
00:19:26,126 --> 00:19:27,628
OH!
421
00:19:27,628 --> 00:19:30,764
Floyd: FELLAS, FELLAS,
YOU'RE IN PUBLIC.
422
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,801
THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY.
423
00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:39,806
TWO MEN
CAN'T SHOW AFFECTION.
424
00:19:39,806 --> 00:19:40,974
OKAY.
425
00:19:40,974 --> 00:19:42,543
KEEP IT UP.
426
00:19:42,543 --> 00:19:44,310
KEEP IT UP.
427
00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:52,519
OH, OKAY.
428
00:19:52,519 --> 00:19:54,555
UM...COME ON.
429
00:19:54,555 --> 00:19:55,822
COME WITH ME.
GO AHEAD.
430
00:19:55,822 --> 00:19:57,290
GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
431
00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:58,324
GO AHEAD.
432
00:19:58,324 --> 00:20:00,934
PULL
YOUR SHIRT DOWN.
433
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,468
COVER
ALL YOUR GLORY.
434
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:07,874
UM...
435
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,244
WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS, BUT...
436
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:14,815
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
TO IMPRESS ME.
437
00:20:14,815 --> 00:20:18,284
THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO
IS JUST BE WHO YOU ARE.
438
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:24,024
'CAUSE YOUR SMILE,
YOUR PERSONALITY...
439
00:20:24,024 --> 00:20:26,827
AND YOUR BODY...
440
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:28,461
IT ALL TURNS ME ON.
441
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:32,332
WAIT
A DAMN MINUTE HERE!
442
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,234
AND ALTHOUGH YOU'RE HAVING
MY CHILD
443
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,369
AND THIS MAY SEEM
A LITTLE BACKWARDS,
444
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,404
BUT...
445
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:42,208
I CAN'T SEE MY LIFE
WITHOUT YOU.
446
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,945
I LOVE YOU.
447
00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:47,180
MY KIDS LOVE YOU.
448
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,917
AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
449
00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:01,802
‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐
www.vitac.com
450
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,805
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
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