Original subtitles

MORNING, MAMA.

MORNING, BABY.

I MADE SOME BREAKFAST FOR YOU.

OH, I CAN'T EAT ANYTHING.

WELL, YOU NEED TO EAT A LITTLE SOMETHING, SUG.

I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING DOWN.

YOU NEED TO KEEP SOMETHING DOWN FOR THAT BABY.

I CAN'T EAT ANYTHING, MAMA.

I BEEN IN THE DAMN KITCHEN COOKING.

YOU GONNA EAT SOMETHING FOR THAT BABY.

I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING DOWN.

BABY, YOU GONNA HAVE TO KEEP SOMETHING DOWN, LINDA.

FINE, I'LL TRY.

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

[ GASPS ]

AIN'T THAT NICE?

YES, SIR.

[ CACKLES ]

WHAT IS THAT?

SARDINE CASSEROLE.

MAMA!

WHAT?

A LITTLE PINCH OF PICKLED RADISH.

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

NO, I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP YOU AND THAT BABY HEALTHY.

HEALTHY BY WHOSE STANDARDS? DR. SEUSS?

IT WASN'T ME. I DID NOT SLEEP WITH THAT MAN.

BUT, MAMA, GREEN EGGS AND HAM?

I AIN'T NEVER EAT NO DAMN GREEN EGGS AND HAM.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU RIGHT.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE THE KIND OF MOTHER

WHO WOULD LOVE AND HUG AND CODDLE THEIR CHILDREN

AND READ THEM NURSERY RHYMES TO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

BUT YOU DON'T GET IT. BUT I GOT IT. IT'S GOOD.

I ‐‐ MY FAULT.

YOU WAIT ONE DOGGONE MINUTE, HERE.

DON'T YOU GET SPORTY WITH ME!

'CAUSE I WAS RAISED BY A WHORE.

MY MAMA WAS A WHORE.

MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS WHORES!

YOUR UNCLE WAS A WHORE,

YOUR COUSIN MARY LYNN IS A CRACKHEAD.

YOUR UNCLE DARRYN IS A PIMP.

DON'T YOU NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU COME FROM.

UH...SORRY, MAMA.

I WASN'T TRYING TO GET... SPORTY WITH YOU.

WHAT YOU THINK MY IDEA WAS?

MY IDEA WAS ‐‐ SHE'S A SUITOR.

MY IDEA WAS BONA FIDE.

I APOLOGIZE, MAMA.

ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO WAS HELP.

I'M SORRY, MAMA.

PROVE IT.

HOW? EAT.

MAMA!

EAT.

MAMA ‐‐ [ Deep voice ] EAT!

LISTEN, I HAVE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.

I'LL EAT IT... WHEN I GET BACK.

JUST, UM...WRAP IT UP.

LINDA? YES?

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH, MAMA. I'LL EAT IT.

YEAH.

OKAY, GREAT.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

OKAY, I THINK THE CLIENT'S REALLY GONNA LIKE IT

IF WE DO IT LIKE THIS. OKAY.

WELL, I THINK WE'RE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION,

BUT I DON'T KNOW.

SAM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OH, YEAH, GIRL. I LIKE IT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING, GIRL.

GIVE ME THAT.

SUP, GIRL?

[ SCOFFS ] JUST WHAT I THOUGHT.

HE'S ON A SOCIAL PAGE.

YOU'D LIKE TO PAY A SOCIAL VISIT.

UNH!

MAN, COME ON. WE REALLY HAVE TO GET THIS PROJECT DONE.

[ Whining ] WHY?

DEADLINES.

I DON'T LIKE DEADLINES!

OKAY. WELL, KEEP IT UP AND YOU'RE GONNA BE A FLATLINE.

I LIKE PANTY LINES.

HEY, PHIL.

HEY, FLOYD.

RIGHT ON. YEAH.

RIGHT ON.

WHAT YOU DOING OVER HERE?

I COME BY TO TALK TO DANNY.

REALLY? YES.

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT LINDA.

SURPRISE! [ CHUCKLES ]

[ SIGHS ]

WELL, UH, LOOK HERE ‐‐

ANYTHING YOU GOT TO ASK HIM ABOUT LINDA,

YOU CAN ASK ME, BRO.

'CAUSE THAT'S MY NIECE. I'M HER UNCLE.

OKAY.

SO, WHAT'S UP?

I'M‐A WAIT ON DANNY.

[ Indian accent ] YOU ARE STARING WISDOM

RIGHT IN THE FACE.

WISDOM DON'T LOOK TOO BRIGHT RIGHT NOW, ALL RIGHT?

[ Normal voice ] COME ON, MAN.

MM...NO.

HELL, LET'S GO ON IN THERE TOGETHER, THEN.

OKAY.

CAN I ‐‐ I GOT A KEY.

Danny: YEAH, THE PROJECT WILL BE DUE NO MATTER WHAT.

I KEEP A KEY ON ME RIGHT HERE.

HEY. IF IT ISN'T FLOYD COMING IN AGAIN WITH HIS KEY.

LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF TWINS HERE, HUH?

CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT.

WOW.

[ CHUCKLES ] YOU FINISHED?

HI, PHILIP.

HEY. HI.

OH, WOW. THAT'S NICE.

OH, WOW. THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

BUT, HEY, TOLD YOU, DANNY.

I KNEW THE OLD CROWS WOULD LOVE THIS WEBSITE ON HAIR LOSS.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT, UM,

WE'RE TRYING TO FIND WHERE OUR HAIR WENT ‐‐

AND WE FOUND IT ‐‐

ACTUALLY, HE WANTED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, DANNY.

OH, NO.

WHAT?

THIS MAN CAN'T DO ANYTHING BY HIMSELF.

HE ALWAYS HAS TO ASK DANNY FOR EVERYTHING.

I DON'T KNOW. I‐I THINK IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

I THINK IT'S WEAK.

MEN SHOULD CONQUER THEIR WOMEN.

NOT PANDER TO THE CHILD.

YEAH, SURE, OKAY.

SO, PHILIP, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, I WAS HOPING I COULD TALK TO DANNY ALONE.

NO! I WILL NOT HAVE THAT.

HE'S JUST A CHILD.

WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU.

PLUS DANNY GONNA TELL US, ANYWAY.

NO, I WON'T. YES, YOU WILL.

YEAH, HE WILL.

WILL NOT, NOT, NOT!

WILL, WILL, WILL.

WELL, LOOK, YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN ‐‐

OH, DON'T SAY "HAVING SEX!" I CAN'T TAKE IT.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO IT.

NO, WE HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THAT.

GOOD. THANK YOU! THANK YO‐‐

OH, MY.

NO, NO, NO! DON'T LET HIM THANK YOU.

IT'S NOT GOOD.

THEY SHOULD BE HAVING SEX.

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE CAN GET PREGNANT AGAIN.

UH, RIGHT?

SAM, YOU KNOW MISS LINDA IS SERIOUS ABOUT BEING CELIBATE.

WELL, SHE SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

BEFORE SHE GOT WITH JOE.

NO. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX.

THEN WHAT IS IT, MAN?

YEAH. [ Mocking ] SAY IT ALREADY, MAN.

LINDA AND I HAD THIS... FIRE BURNING WHEN WE FIRST MET.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS ‐‐ WE WERE IN SYNC.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? YOU'RE NOT INTO MY MOM ANYMORE?

NO. NO, NOT AT ALL.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.

THEN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

SHE'S NOT FEELING ME.

NO?

NO.

WELL, I'M FEELING YOU.

YOU FEELING ME?

N‐‐ WHOA!

DOWN GIRL. DOWN.

NO. SERIOUSLY, UH, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.

YEAH. YEP, IT HAPPENS.

NO, I MEAN...WH‐WHAT MAKE YOU THINK THAT?

WELL, SHE DOESN'T CALL ME MUCH ANYMORE,

WE DON'T HANG OUT, UM...

WELL, SHE IS PREGNANT.

YEAH, YEAH.

AND, YOU KNOW, JUST TAKE IT AS A GOOD SIGN.

RUN!

PHEW!

PEACE.

COME ON, SIT DOWN.

[ SIGHS ] SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

WELL, DOES SHE TALK TO YOU ABOUT ME?

[ SCOFFS ] YEAH, LIKE ALL THE ‐‐

YEAH? NOT REALLY, NO.

I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

WELL, MAYBE SHE'S ‐‐

JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

YEAH, I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

I KNOW I DO.

WHAT?

YOU GOT TO TAKE HER ON A DATE.

FLOYD, SHE'S ALREADY PREGNANT.

NO, SERIOUSLY. HEAR ME OUT.

THE REASON WHY SHE'S NOT FEELING YOU IS

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DOING THE THINGS

THAT YOU FIRST DID TO GET WITH HER

IN THE FIRST PLACE, RIGHT?

WELL, I WANT TO, BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.

OKAY.

YOU NEED TO GO HOME, GET DRESSED,

PUT ON SOME REALLY NICE‐SMELLING COLOGNE,

PICK HER UP, AND TAKE HER OUT.

YOU THINK SO?

THE SAME THINGS THAT YOU HAVE TO GET A WOMAN,

YOU GOT TO DO THOSE THINGS, AND CONTINUE TO DO THOSE THINGS,

TO KEEP THEM.

OKAY.

YOU LIKE THAT? I'LL TRY IT, YEAH.

OKAY. SOUND ADVICE?

I'LL TRY IT. YEAH.

THAT'LL BE $700.

WHAT?

"WHAT?" HELL.

YOU THOUGHT THAT CONSULTATION WAS FOR FREE?

BRO, I CHARGE BY THE HOUR.

CLEARLY YOU DON'T CHARGE BY THE ‐‐

SAY IT AND I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT.

OKAY, MAN. MAN, I ‐‐ MAN, LOOK.

I APPRECIATE YOU, FLOYD.

YEAH, YEAH. APPRECIATE ME WITH $700.

HA HA HEE.

I AIN'T GOT NO $700.

WELL, UH, I AIN'T GOT TO LET YOU OUT.

HE DON'T PAY MY $700,

I'LL TAKE $350 OFF OF EACH OF Y'ALL'S RENT.

OH, PAY HIM.

$700.

I'M SORE, AND HE TOUCHED ME.

[ CACKLING ]

YOU SURE IS STUPID!

[ LAUGHS ]

YEAH.

OOH, WATCH YOURSELF.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHO IS IT?

[ GRUNTS ]

YOU BETTER PRONOUNCE YOURSELF.

WHEN SOMEBODY SAY, "WHO IS?" YOU SAY WHATEVER YOUR NAME.

HEY, "FLOP"!

IT'S PHILIP.

SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET IN HERE.

OOH, LOOK AT YOU, PREP.

[ Chuckling ] YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?

YES, SIR, YOU CLEAN IN THIS "B".

YOU LIKE THAT?

[ CACKLES ]

COME ON IN, PHIL. COME ON IN.

OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

OOH, WATCH OUT FOR THAT KNIFE RIGHT THERE.

THANK YOU.

WELL, YOU CASKET‐CLEAN.

WHAT?

WHO DIED?

WHAT? HATTIE NEED HELP.

I AIN'T SEEN NOBODY THIS CLEAN

SINCE THEY THREW THE DIRT ON HIM.

MISS HATTIE, AIN'T NOBODY DIED.

NO ONE DIED.

OKAY, GREAT.

OKAY.

SO ‐‐ SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?

I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR LINDA.

YOU SURE?

YES. WHY ELSE WOULD I BE HERE?

OH, I DON'T KNOW. BECAUSE OF ME.

[ CHUCKLES ] [ LAUGHS ]

MISS HATTIE, YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER.

OH, YOU THINK I'M KIDDING?

I TAKE THAT BALD HEAD AND FLIP IT TO THE SIDE,

AND I'D HAVE YOU BARKING LIKE A DOG.

BIG DOG.

[ BARKING ]

OKAY. OKAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

ALL RIGHT.

IS SHE HERE?

I DON'T, UH ‐‐ I DON'T THINK SHE...

[ Quietly ] LINDA!

WHAT?

LINDA!

LINDA!

[ Normal ] SHE DIDN'T ANSWER. I DON'T THINK SHE'S HERE.

OKAY, I BETTER GO THEN.

NO, IT'S JUST ME AND YOU.

COME BACK OVER HERE.

[ LAUGHS ] [ CHUCKLES ]

I'M ‐‐ I'M, UH...

LINDA! Linda: YES?

IF YOU COULD COME DOWN HERE FOR A MOMENT, PLEASE.

MA, I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE COMING DOWNSTAIRS.

I GOT SOMETHING MAKE YOU HAVE A SUNSHINY DAY.

NO.

LINDA, BRING YOU MOUTH DOWN HERE!

[ GROANS ]

OKAY, OKAY. I TOLD YOU, I'M SICK.

YEAH. AND I DIDN'T...

FEEL LIKE...

YOU SEE?

HEY, PHILIP.

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL...

YEAH, UH, WELL ‐‐ WELL ‐‐

I REALIZED THAT, UM...

[ CLEARS THROAT ] WELL, I WAS THINKING,

I REALIZE WE DIDN'T DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT HE MEAN IS YOU GOT KNOCKED UP PREMATURELY.

SO, WHAT? YOU COMING TO PROPOSE?

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU, JESUS!

WHAT? DID YOU SAY "PROPOSE"?!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU, JESUS!

THANK YOU, JESUS!

[ POUNDING ]

IS SHE OKAY?

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU, JESUS!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

MISS HATTIE, YOU ALL RIGHT?

THANK YOU, JESUS! PHILIP, SHE'S FINE.

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

THEY MAY NOT COME FOR YOUR MONEY,

BUT YOU ALWAYS ON TOP.

ALL YOU NEED WAS THE FAITH AS A GRAIN OF THE MUSTARD SEED

AND YOU'LL GET YOU A PUMPKIN PATCH.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

PHILIP ‐‐

NO, LISTEN. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET TOO EXCITED.

I'M NOT HERE TO PROPOSE.

DAMN!

ACTUALLY, I'M ‐‐

I JUST WANTED TO COME BY AND ASK YOU OUT ON A DATE.

WHY MILK A COW WHEN YOU ALREADY DONE RODE THE BULL?!

CAN WE HAVE SOME PRIVACY, PLEASE?

OH, PARDON ME FOR MY RUDENESS.

YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE PRIVACY YOU NEED.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS HERE DAMN DOOR.

PHILIP...

LOOK, I WANTED TO ASK YOU OUT SOONER,

BUT YOU WERE DATING THAT OTHER FELLA.

WILLIAM.

THAT'S THAT BASTARD'S NAME.

MISS HATTIE, I WASN'T TRYING TO SAY THE MAN'S ‐‐

DON'T, DON'T! DON'T SAY IT, NOW.

THAT'LL BE THE THIRD TIME.

HE SHOWS UP LIKE THE CANDYMAN.

I'M SCARED OF THE CANDYMAN.

YOU EVER SEEN HIM, LINDA?

OKAY. [ CLEARS THROAT ]

I WAS THINKING.

SO, MAYBE WE COULD GO OUT, SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER,

AND HAVE S‐‐

HAVE SOME FUN, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES

FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES, RIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH, WE WILL.

OH, SORR‐‐ I WA‐‐

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY? WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?

WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME?

I CAN'T.

WHY?

I'M SO SICK.

REALLY?

I HAVE MORNING SICKNESS.

LINDA, IT'S EVENING.

YEAH, BUT I HAVE MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT,

AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,

AND EVERY DAY AND ALL‐DAY SICKNESS.

REALLY?

YEAH. I'M ‐‐ I'M SORRY.

NO. NO, NO, NO.

I'M ‐‐ I'M SORRY. SO...

WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN JUST STAY HERE,

AND YOU CAN TELL ME ALL ABOUT

THE GREAT DATE WE WERE GONNA HAVE.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FANTASTIC IDEA TO ME.

BUT WAIT!

I‐I DON'T ‐‐ I DON'T LIKE THAT DAMN IDEA THERE.

MAMA. WHAT?!

GO ON OUT ON A DAMN DATE WITH THE MAN.

MAMA, YOU KNOW I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING DOWN.

I UPCHUCK AT ANY MINUTE.

PPL.

PPL, PPL, PPL.

PT‐‐

PRAISE THE LORD? PTTL?

PERSONAL PROBLEM, LINDA.

THEN STOP TRYING TO PUSH ME TO GO OUT WITH HIM.

LINDA, YOU NEED TO BE AN O. G.!

MAN UP!

YOU GOT THIS RIGHT HERE!

[ CACKLES ]

YEAH.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

[ VOMITS ] OHH!

WOW.

I'M FITTIN' TO BUS THIS HEIFER TO THE WHITE MEAT.

HER HEAD IS SPLIT IN MY MIND.

I'M SO SORRY I THREW UP.

[ COUGHING, CLEARS THROAT ]

IT'S OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

SARDINES, HUH?

I'M ‐‐ I'M SO SORRY.

YOU DIDN'T CHEW THAT PIECE GOOD.

[ GRUNTS ]

I'M SORRY, MAMA.

YOU KNOW GOSH DARN WELL YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME

YOU WEREN'T FEELING GOOD.

I DID.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WAS SICK.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING TRASH BAGS?

NEVER CATCH ME OFF GUARD AGAIN.

I'M SORRY, MAMA.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT, LIN.

AND YOU GOT IT ALL OVER MY GOOD SHOES.

YOU MADE ME EAT THE SARDINE CASSEROLE.

DON'T MEAN I WANT MY SHOES AND MY TOES

SMELLING LIKE NO SARDINE.

I'M SORRY, MAMA.

DON'T TALK TO ME.

I'M SORRY.

[ Deep voice ] I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, "HEE HEE," HELL.

AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT GOOD FOR YOU,

YOU GONNA GET YOU SOME PLASTIC BAGS, TOO.

IF YOU HAD PLASTIC ON IN THE BEGINNING,

THEN WE WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THE PREDICAMENT.

ON MY DAMN NERVES.

WOW.

WELL, THAT'S ONE WAY TO GET RID OF HER.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY THAT MORE OFTEN.

SURE CAN.

'BOUT ONCE EVERY HOUR.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

YEAH, IT IS.

BUT THANK YOU FOR CLEANING IT UP.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T ‐‐

YOU DIDN'T GET TO THIS PLACE BY YOURSELF.

NO, I DIDN'T.

OH, LOOK. LOOK, I ALMOST ‐‐

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

I ALMOST FORGOT.

FLOWERS?

MM‐HMM.

THANK YOU.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, UM...

HOW YOU DOING?

I'LL BE FINE.

WELL, ARE WE FINE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, YOU DON'T CALL MUCH ANYMORE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT. AND MY KIDS MISS YOU.

WELL, I'M SICK, PHILIP.

YOU'RE NOT FEELING ME.

WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT INTO ME.

JUST BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT

DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA TRY TO TRAP YOU.

[ SCOFFS ]

YOU THINK THAT?

WELL?

WELL, LOOK, I THINK THAT ‐‐

OH, HOLD THAT THOUGHT.

[ GROANING ]

Hattie: AW, HELL.

DID SHE MAKE IT THAT TIME?

LINDA!

LIN!

YOU BETTER NOT THROW UP ON MY DAMN STAIRS.

LINDA!

YOU BETTER CLEAN UP 'ROUND THERE TOILET.

PHILIP!

MISS HATTIE!

DID SHE GET YOUR SHIRT AND SHOES?

NO, SHE MADE IT, MISS HATTIE.

OKAY, GREAT.

SHE SURE GOT MY SHIRT AND SHOES.

I WISH SHE WOULD TRAP ME.

'CAUSE I LOVE HER.