Original subtitles

Hattie Mae: THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU, MR. CLAYTON.

[ CHUCKLES ] TELL HILARY I'LL SEE HER AT THE WAHA.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HATTIE.

FLOYD.

YOU SEE THAT WOMAN OVER THERE?

WHAT WOMAN?

THE WOMAN RIGHT THERE, DRINKING THE COFFEE.

HEY, THERE'S A LOT OF WOMEN IN HERE DRINKING COFFEE.

THAT WOMAN WITH THE COFFEE CUP IN HER HAND.

AIN'T NO WOMAN. THAT'S A DUDE.

NOT THIS ONE.

THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.

SHE LOOK REAL FAMILIAR.

SHE DO. YEAH.

THEN GO FIND OUT WHERE YOU KNOW HER FROM.

NO, NO, NO, NO. MNH‐MNH. WHY?

SHE MIGHT BE ONE OF THEM STRAYS.

WHAT?

YOU KNOW, ONE OF THEM ONES

YOU HAVE A LATE‐NIGHT RENDEZVOUS WITH,

AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, YOU WANT TO JUST, LIKE,

CUT YOUR ARM OFF TO GET AWAY FROM THEM.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH, I'VE HAD A FEW OF THEM IN MY DAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HAD A FEW?

YEAH.

DID, TOO.

YEAH, YOU THE KIND OF WOMAN

THAT A MAN WOULD CHEW HIS ARM OFF TO GET AWAY FROM.

[ MAKES CHOMPING NOISE ]

[ MAKES SNAPPING NOISE ]

YOU KNOW, I WAS SEXY BACK IN MY DAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I WAS SEXY IN MY HEYDAY.

WERE YOU NOW?

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

EITHER YOU WAS EATING IT... OR YOU WAS SMOKING IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

'CAUSE AIN'T NO WAY THAT YOU WERE AS FINE

AS THAT WOMAN RIGHT THERE.

YOU CRAZY AS HELL.

BABY, I WAS A STALLION IN MY DAY.

MORE LIKE AN OLD GOVERNMENT MULE.

SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER BE COMPARED TO.

VERY FUNNY.

YEAH, IF THEY'RE SLEEPING WITH YOU, IT IS.

LOOK AT HER. THAT GIRL IS FINE.

SHE IS BANGING.

[ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S WHY I KNOW SHE WASN'T BANGING WITH YOU.

BUT LOOK AT HER.

SHE LOOK FAMILIAR, THOUGH.

THEN GO TALK TO THE LADY.

NO, I CAN'T DO THAT.

THEN STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT HER LOOKING FAMILIAR.

FINE. SHE LOOKS SO FAMILIAR.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING HOME.

BUT IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

SO?

LAST TIME I CHECKED, MY NAME WAS ON THESE PAPERS.

AND I CAN GO HOME WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY TO.

HATTIE, REALLY. LOOK AT HER.

SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR.

NOW, I KNOW SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR TO YOU, TOO.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, ARE YOU A WHORE?

EXCUSE ME?

ARE YOU A HO?

WHAT?

ARE YOU A PROSTITUTE?

I‐I‐I‐I'M OFFENDED.

ARE YOU A TWER‐TWER‐TWER‐TWER‐TWERKER?

[ SCOFFS ] I'M OFFENDED.

YOU SEE THAT? YOU SEE THAT THERE, FLOYD?

WHAT?

THAT'S THE NATIONAL HO SIGN OF AMERICA.

SHE'S A BONA FIDE HO.

NATIONAL HO SIGN?

MM‐HMM. SHE'S A BONA FIDE HO. SHE GOT HER PAPERS.

UH...I'M SORRY, MA'AM.

PLEASE EXCUSE MY FATHER.

THAT WAS INSULTING. YEAH, I KNOW.

HE AIN'T GOT NO HOME‐TRAINING.

HE JUST LEARNED HOW TO PEE STANDING UP.

"P?" "P." "P."

UH, HATTIE, "P." P‐FLIP.

WHERE HE AT?

NO, NO, NO, NO. FLIP.

OH, YOU WANT ME TO FLIP RIGHT HERE?

NO, NO. NO, NO.

YOU BETTER MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN,

'CAUSE YOU KNOW I USED TO BE IN THE CIRCUS.

YEAH.

YOU WORKING ON MY DAMN NERVES.

BUT SERIOUSLY, UM, DO YOU KNOW A GUY BY THE NAME OF PHILIP?

YES, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND.

[ GASPS ]

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

UNCLE FLOYD. WHAT THE ‐‐

STOP. STOP IT. STOP IT.

I WILL WINDMILL YOU. I WILL ‐‐ OOH.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. SORRY.

I HATE I EVER TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO THAT.

HEY.

HEY, UH, WHERE IS SHE?

WHO? GRANDMA.

SHE AIN'T HERE.

WELL, IS SHE OKAY? YEAH, I GUESS.

IS SHE IN THE HOSPITAL?

I WISH.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, WHERE IS SHE?

I GUESS SHE'S AT HOME.

AT HOME? YOU CALLED AND SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY, MAN.

YEAH, DRAGGED US RIGHT OUT OF THE OFFICE.

I'LL SAY.

I WAS SO...BUSY.

BUSY NOT BEING BUSY.

TRUE.

WHAT'S GOING ON? NOTHING.

THEN WHY DID YOU CALL US?

I DON'T KNOW.

UNCLE FLOYD.

WHAT?!

I'M GONNA KILL HIM. I'M WINDING UP.

I'M WINDING UP.

NO, NO. NO, NO.

ME FIRST. YEAH.

UNCLE FLOYD?

WHAT?

WHY DID YOU CALL US DOWN HERE?

THINK, MAN.

OKAY, I WAS ‐‐ I WAS IN THE BATHROOM

AND MY PHONE WAS ON VIBRATE.

YOU SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.

YES, IT WAS.

WHAT WAS IT?

OH, UH, TRUE. IT W‐‐

I DON'T REMEMBER.

[ GROANS ]

AND I DON'T REMEMBER YOUR DAMN HAIRLINE.

THIS COMING FROM LACE FRONT.

STARTING HERE.

FREAKING OLD PEOPLE.

[ SCOFFS ]

HEY!

DON'T KNOCK THEM TILL YOU TRY THEM.

[ BOTH GROAN ]

IS MY MAMA HERE? NO.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

GLADLY. MM‐HMM.

WAIT.

UH, WHAT? YOU FOUND YOUR HAIRLINE?

I THINK I REMEMBER.

DID YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS ABOUT?

YEAH, IT WAS ABOUT YOUR MAMA.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT HER? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

IT WAS ABOUT YOUR MAMA, 'CAUSE, UH...UH...I DON'T REMEMBER.

UNCLE FLOYD, STOP SMOKING WEED!

THAT WAS SO LONG AGO,

SINCE EIGHT... THIS MORNING.

OOH! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

GOT IT. GOT IT. GOT IT.

WHAT?

GOT IT. GOT IT.

YEAH. I REMEMBER NOW.

I REMEMBER W‐‐ IT WAS ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.

YEAH. WE KNOW THAT.

OKAY, BUT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT

THAT WOMAN OVER THERE DRINKING COFFEE?

MM?

THAT'S A DUDE.

IT'S NOT ‐‐ IT'S NOT CONFIRMED.

NOT THAT ONE.

THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.

WHO?

THE WOMAN RIGHT THERE.

NO.

SEE, I WAS SITTING HERE EARLIER, AND I WAS THINKING,

"YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR.

SHE LOOKS SO FAMILIAR."

AND I WAS TELLING HATTIE ABOUT IT, RIGHT?

OKAY. EXCUSE ME.

DREW, WHAT ARE YOU ‐‐

HI. EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU A WHORE?

GET HER.

HUH? WHAT DO YOU SAY? [ CHUCKLES ]

COME ON.

IF SHE WAS A HO, I WOULD KNOW.

Floyd: PBHT.

SHE SAID HER NAME IS SARAH.

WO‐O‐O‐W. THAT'S...DEEP.

BUT, ANYWAY, SHE SAID SHE KNOWS PHILIP.

WHAT? YEAH.

SHE SAID HER AND PHILIP ARE ACTUALLY DATING.

NO. NO, SHE DIDN'T. MM‐HMM.

I'M SORRY, BUT PHILIP DOES NOT SEEM LIKE THAT KIND OF GUY.

WELL, SHE SEEMS TO THINK SO.

OKAY, WELL, HOW CAN YOU BE SURE THAT IT'S THE SAME PHILIP?

BECAUSE I KNOW I HAVE SEEN HER WITH HIM BEFORE.

AND BESIDES, HOW MANY BLACK PHILIPS YOU THINK SHE KNOW?

GOOD POINT. BAD POINT!

IT'S SUCH A COMMON NAME. LIKE SAM.

YEAH.

[ Chuckling ] I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME,

I CONVINCED THIS GIRL I WAS A DIFFERENT SAM ALL TOGETHER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HIT IT TWICE, SO DAMN NICE.

YOU'RE A TOOL ALTOGETHER.

PLUG ME IN AND WATCH ME WORK.

UNCLE FLOYD, ARE YOU SURE SHE SAID THAT?

YES.

THAT'S WHY I CALLED YOU OVER HERE.

I DON'T KNOW.

OKAY, WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

RIGHT. I'M GONNA GO ASK MY MAMA.

DANNY.

[ Rapping ] HIS MAMA DON'T KNOW

IF HE'S BEEN CREEPING ON THE LOW.

THE HELL?

WHAT?

IT'S HIP‐HOP SPEAK.

GET WITH IT!

NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU GET SOMETHING FOR IT.

ALL RIGHT?

AND STAY IN YOUR LANE. DON'T DO THAT NO MORE.

CAN'T BE.

DREW, DREW, DON'T DO THAT.

[ GROANS ]

HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME IF I'M A HO,

WE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM.

NO, GIRL, IT'S ALL GOOD.

I LIKE YOUR LITTLE NECKLACE. THAT'S CUTE.

CHEAP.

IS YOUR NAME SARAH?

YES, IT IS. OH, OKAY.

DID YOU USED TO DATE A GUY NAMED PHILIP?

UH, USED TO? I STILL DO.

WE HAVE A DATE TONIGHT.

OH, OKAY.

[ Singsong voice ] DATE TONIGHT. DATE TONIGHT.

THIS HO GOT A DATE TONIGHT.

AND, UH, WHO ARE YOU?

[ Normal voice ] NOBODY, GIRL. [ CHUCKLES ]

[ Singsong voice ] NOBODY.

PHILIP IS A SNAKE, AND HE IS CHEATING ON YOUR MAMA.

[ BOTH GASP ]

THAT'S THE INTERNATIONAL SIGN OF HO.

[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]

I'M COMING!

OH, HELL. THAT'S THE POLICE.

[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]

WHO YOU LOOKING FOR?

IT'S ‐‐ IT'S NOT THE POLICE. I DON'T HAVE MY COSTUME ON.

OH.

I SURE HOPE YOU'RE GONNA CHIP IN ON THE RENT THIS MONTH,

BANGING LIKE THAT.

WAIT A MINUTE!

HEY.

YEAH, YOU CAN CHIP IN. COME ON IN.

HEY, MAMA HATTIE. HEY.

HEY. HEY.

HEY.

HEY, SAM, COME ON IN.

BE MY GUEST.

OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

PUT YOUR SERVICE TO THE TEST.

UM, UH, YOU DON'T SEE ME STANDING HERE?

NO, BABY.

HOLD ON. YOU'RE TURNED SIDEWAYS.

HEY, YOU!

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU NEED A SAMMET OR SOME.

I'M SORRY. WHAT?

YOU NEED A SAMMET OR SOME.

W‐‐ OKAY, WHAT IS SHE SAYING?

SHE SAID, "YOU NEED A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING."

YEAH.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I SAID ‐‐ SAMMET OR SOME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OR A ‐‐ OR A SAM‐WICH.

YEAH, I'LL TAKE ONE OF THOSE, TOO, WITH MILK.

YOU LIKE THAT WHITE BREAD, HUH?

OOH, WATCH YOURSELF.

[ LAUGHS ]

AH, DOWN BOY. [ CHUCKLES ]

OH, LORDY. OH.

HATTIE. HMM?

OH, HATTIE, WE GOT SOME BAD NEWS.

OOH, MY BABY. NO, NO.

LORDY, MY BAB‐‐ MY BABY GO?

HATTIE. OOH, JESUS!

OOH, I TOLD THAT DOCTOR SHE HAD FLUID ON HER BRAIN.

WELL, WE ALL KNEW THAT.

OOH, YEAH.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR FOR THAT.

[ SCREAMS ]

NOT ONE OF MY BABIES.

OOH, JESUS! COME ON.

HOLD ME. HOLD ME, SAM. HOLD ME.

[ GIGGLES ]

[ SOBS ]

MAMA HATTIE, MAMA HATTIE.

MAMA HATTIE.

SHE'S NOT DEAD.

OH, SHE AIN'T?

AND SHE'S YOUR ONLY CHILD.

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING US?

HOLD ME, SAM!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

Y‐Y‐Y‐Y‐YOUR FINGERNAILS ARE GOING THROUGH MY POCKETS!

HEY, SAM, YOU KNOW YOU AND I HAVE

A LITTLE SWIRL GOING ON RIGHT HERE.

YEAH, A SWIRL OF GOOD... AND BAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

NO A SWIRL OF GOOD AND EVIL.

[ GASPS ]

UGH! I'M ABOUT TO SWIRL UP MY LUNCH IN A SECOND.

YOU KNOW YOU AIN'T ATE NO LUNCH.

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP HATING.

I AM NOT HATING. I'M HEAVING.

WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING HERE? WHAT'S GOING ON?

WE MET THIS WOMAN AT THE DINER NAMED SARAH.

SHE SAID SHE'S STILL DATING PHILIP.

WHO?

PHILIP.

WHO?

FLIP.

YOU HEARD HIM.

OH, HELL. THERE'S A MILLION FLIPS IN THE WORLD.

HE COULD BE ONE OF THEM.

MNH‐MNH. I DON'T THINK SO.

HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?

I CONFIRMED IT.

YOU DID?

YES. YOU SHO?

I'M SHO.

YOU'RE FOR SHO FOR SHO?

FOR SHO FOR SHO, DIRTY.

OH, LORD, JESUS! HOLD ME, SAM!

HOLD ME!

[ GROANING ]

THIS HERE GONNA KILL HIM.

IT'S KILLING ME!

OOH.

[ GRUNTS ]

OOH, SHE OVER THERE COOKING FOR HIM NOW.

JUST GONNA TAKE A SLAP IN THERE.

SHE GONNA JUST LAY DOWN AND BE THERE.

WELL, WHERE IS SHE?

DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT THE HELL I SAID?

I SAID THAT SHE IS.

SHE'S SURE SURE OVER THERE COOKING FOR FLIP.

COOKING?

DAMN.

OKAY, HOLD ON.

THAT ACTUALLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE,

BECAUSE THAT GIRL SARAH SAID SHE HAD A DATE WITH HIM TONIGHT.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND KEEP ON TALKING.

SHE DID SAY THAT.

WAIT A SECOND.

OKAY, ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

YE‐YAH!

W‐WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

[ CLICKS TONGUE ]

SWINGING.

[ CHUCKLES ] OH, YE‐A‐A‐A‐AH!

[ BARKS ]

I WASN'T THINKING IT,

BUT I'M TRACKING WITH YOU NOW.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEWED IT. OH.

MY MOM'S PLAYING MINIATURE GOLF. I LOVE THAT GAME.

AREN'T YOU A HOLE IN NONE?

HE'S NOT TRACKING WITH US.

NOT SINCE THE HEAD TRAUMA.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

YOUR MAMA IS A SWINGER.

[ CHUCKLES ] SHE BIG‐BODY SWINGING.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT?

DANNY.

SWINGING, W‐WHAT'S THAT?

BABY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SWANGING IS?

YEAH, I KNOW.

YOU DO?

MM‐HMM. I'LL SHOW YOU.

UH, SAY WHAT?

I'LL SHOW YOU.

THIS SURE SHOULD BE INTERESTING HERE.

BUT I'M GONNA NEED A PARTNER.

AH, NOW, AT LEAST YOU'RE STEPPING OUT ON THE RIGHT FOOT.

THAT'S COOL. I'M GLAD.

COME HERE, SAM.

HUH?

I NEED SOMEONE WITH A STRONG BUTT.

AW, DAMN.

FLOYD, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?

DANNY. WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

I'M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU WHAT SWINGING IS.

OOH, I CAN'T WATCH THIS.

NEED A BLINDFOLD.

I MEAN, I‐I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY WOULD HE CHOOSE SAM TO BE HIS PARTNER

WHEN I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE?

HEY, DREW! [ CHUCKLES ]

HE AIN'T SEE YOU. HE AIN'T SEE YOU. HE AIN'T SEE YOU.

YOU ‐‐ YOU ‐‐ YOU NEED A SAMMET OR SOME.

COME ON, SAM. LET'S SWING.

HUH? OH. YEAH?

COME ON NOW. DON'T DO THAT. UNH‐UNH.

WHOA! WHOA!

[ VOCALIZES ]

OH, NO!

GOD, NEPHEW, NO!

Y'ALL STOP THIS HERE, FLOYD.

OH, STOP IT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

OOH. OOH.

NO. YES, LET'S SWING.

NO.

STOP FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY.

DANNY, WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT SWING DANCING.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT'S WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN

AND ANOTHER MAN AND ANOTHER WOMAN

AND A COUPLE MORE MEN AND A COUPLE M‐‐

AND A COUPLE MORE WOMEN AND A COUPLE GIRAFFES ‐‐

OH, OH, SO THAT'S WHAT YOU DID IN THE CIRCUS.

YEAH. YEAH.

TELL HIM, SAM. TELL HIM.

ALL RIGHT.

SO IT'S WHEN [WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT?!

AND, UH...

WHOO!

ON ‐‐ ON PURPOSE?

YES.

NO, MY MOTHER ‐‐ MY MOTHER WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

MNH‐MNH.

HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S INTO IT.

DON'T BE TALKING MY DAMN BUSINESS.

THAT'S TWEENST ME AND YOU.

AND TWEENST ALL THE OTHERS.

I LIKE THAT, TOO.

[ GROANS ]

THERE'S, UH ‐‐ THERE'S NO MORE COBWEBS IN COBB COUNTY.

NO. MNH‐MNH.

MY MOTHER WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

Y'ALL, WE GOT TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT HERE,

'CAUSE THAT WOMAN SAID SHE'S GOT A DATE WITH FLIP.

HEY.

HEY, MAMA.

HEY! HEY.

HEY, LINDA.

HI. WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING HERE?

NOTHING. SITTING DOWN.

UM, WE JUST ALL CAME BY TO SAY, UM, HI.

HI. HI. HI.

HI. HI.

HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD.

OKAY. OKAY.

WHAT YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU WAS GOING OUT WITH FLIP.

NO, HE HAD TO CANCEL.

All: MMMMMMMM.

WHY?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU DIDN'T ASK WHY?

NO.

WHY?

I'M SURE HE JUST HAD SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.

All: MMMMMMMMMMMM.

LINDA, LINDA, LISTEN, HONEY.

LINDA, LOOKIT, HONEY.

LINDA, LINDA, LISTEN.

SHE LISTEN. NO, LISTEN.

SHE HEAR YOU. LINDA, LOOK, LINDA.

DAMN. SHE LISTENING. SHE'S LOOKING.

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

I MEAN, YOU DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE ASKING YOUR MAN

WHAT HE DOING,

OR LIKE... WHO HE DOING?

WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.

WELL, YOU SURE OVER THERE COOKING FOR HIM

LIKE Y'ALL TOGETHER.

MAMA, HE'S A GROWN MAN.

AND YOU HAVING HIS GROWN BABY.

WELL, WHATEVER HE'S DOING, I'M SURE HE'S ENJOYING HIMSELF.

YEAH, HE DOING ‐‐ HE ENJOYING HIMSELF, RIGHT?

YOU PEEPED HER, RIGHT?

'CAUSE SHE WAS LIKE "OW, BOW," OKAY?

WHOO! OOH!

[ CHUCKLES ] I JUST SURE HOPE HE AIN'T ENJOYING HISSELF TOO MUCH.

All: MMMMMMMMM...

All: ...MMMMMMMMM.

WOULD Y'ALL STOP?

MM.

WAIT. MAMA, WHAT?

NOTHING. NOTHING.

LOOK, WHAT IS GOING ON?

I SAID NOTHING.

FINE. THEN I'M GOING TO BED.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU TIE YOUR HAIR UP.

DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE.

MAKE SURE YOU GET THEM EDGES, BABE,

'CAUSE WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, GONNA POP YOUR EYE.

BE CAREFUL.

I KNOW HER DO‐RAG'S THE SIZE OF A TENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

EVERY TIME SHE TURNS OVER, I HEAR A THUD.

Y'ALL, THIS ‐‐ MAN, SHE GONNA MISS HIM.

MADE ME FEEL SO SAD.

MNH‐MNH. DON'T.

[ Voice breaking ] I JUST FEEL SO SAD.

DON'T DO YOUR FACE LIKE THAT.

OH, DANNY.

[ CRYING ]