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1
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,641
[ LAUGHING ]
2
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,643
WHOO! THAT WAS GOOD!
THAT WAS GOOD.
3
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:13,146
YEAH. YOU KNOW,
I ENJOYED MYSELF THIS EVENING.
4
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:15,782
I DID, TOO, HATTIE.
VERY, VERY MUCH.
5
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,651
YEAH.
THAT MOVIE WAS SCARY.
6
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,119
I KNOW.
7
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,654
I DON'T
LIKE SCARY MOVIES!
8
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,589
BUT I DO.
9
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,691
WELL, WHY WERE YOU JUMPING
EVERY FIVE MINUTES?
10
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,094
I WAS
HOPING TO SCARE YOU.
11
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,296
WHY WOULD YOU
WANT TO DO THAT?
12
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,799
SO YOU WOULD JUMP
INTO MY ARMS.
13
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:34,134
[ CHUCKLES ]
14
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,470
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SCARE ME TO JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS.
15
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,774
ALL YOU GOT TO DO
IS ASK ME.
16
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:44,444
HMM, I WAS JUST THINKING
THAT WAS A BETTER WAY.
17
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,947
AW, HELL,
I'M FROM THE HOOD!
18
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:50,116
JASON DON'T SCARE ME!
19
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:53,319
IT TYRONE AND LEROY
I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT.
20
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:58,959
YOU SO FUNNY, HATTIE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
21
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,334
I KNOW.
22
00:01:02,969 --> 00:01:05,972
AND YOU CUTE, TOO.
MM‐HMM.
23
00:01:05,972 --> 00:01:07,307
I KNOW THAT, TOO.
24
00:01:07,307 --> 00:01:09,475
MMMM‐HMM.
25
00:01:09,475 --> 00:01:11,477
[ CHUCKLES ]
26
00:01:11,477 --> 00:01:12,746
COME ON IN HERE
AWHILE.
27
00:01:12,746 --> 00:01:14,414
[ LAUGHS ]
28
00:01:14,414 --> 00:01:17,317
YEAH, YOU COME ON IN HERE
AND TAKE A LOAD OFF.
29
00:01:17,317 --> 00:01:18,819
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
HATTIE.
30
00:01:18,819 --> 00:01:21,822
YEAH, YOU COME ON IN HERE
AND TAKE A LOAD OFF YOURSELF.
31
00:01:21,822 --> 00:01:23,156
DON'T MIND IF I DO.
32
00:01:23,156 --> 00:01:25,659
[ CHUCKLES ]
DAMN!
33
00:01:25,659 --> 00:01:27,828
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK!
34
00:01:27,828 --> 00:01:29,429
I'M GROWN!
35
00:01:29,429 --> 00:01:31,898
WELL, YOU COULD HAVE
AT LEAST CALLED.
36
00:01:31,898 --> 00:01:34,067
THE LAST TIME I CHECKED,
I WAS YOUR MAMA.
37
00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:37,437
YOU AIN'T NONE OF MINE.
38
00:01:37,437 --> 00:01:39,506
WELL, I DON'T LIKE THIS, MAMA.
AND WHO ARE YOU?
39
00:01:39,506 --> 00:01:40,774
I'M WALLY.
40
00:01:40,774 --> 00:01:42,676
WHAT'S A WALLY?
41
00:01:43,844 --> 00:01:46,246
GO GET SOMEWHERE!
42
00:01:46,246 --> 00:01:48,448
GET TO WHERE?
IT'S 11:33.
43
00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:50,784
RIGHT. ON A SATURDAY NIGHT ‐‐
YOU SHOULD HAVE A DATE.
44
00:01:50,784 --> 00:01:54,487
LEGS UP IN THE AIR,
HEAD BANGING ‐‐ DOING SOMETHING!
45
00:01:56,122 --> 00:01:58,024
WELL, I DON'T.
46
00:01:58,024 --> 00:02:01,401
AND THAT'S
THE PROBLEM.
47
00:02:01,401 --> 00:02:04,237
WELL, YOU'RE TOO OLD
TO HAVE ONE.
48
00:02:04,237 --> 00:02:06,573
N‐O‐O‐O, NO.
49
00:02:07,908 --> 00:02:09,743
SHE AIN'T TOO OLD.
50
00:02:09,743 --> 00:02:12,078
BAM!
51
00:02:12,078 --> 00:02:13,413
BAM!
52
00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:15,816
BAM!
53
00:02:15,816 --> 00:02:17,584
UGH! DISGUSTING.
54
00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:20,587
WALLY, WOULD YOU
GIVE ME A MOMENT
55
00:02:20,587 --> 00:02:22,589
TO TALK TO MY DAUGHTER,
PLEASE?
56
00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:25,325
MM.
YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?
57
00:02:25,325 --> 00:02:27,293
UH, THANK YOU!
58
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:28,629
THIS IS WORSE
THAN DATING THOSE WOMEN
59
00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:30,964
OVER AT THE NURSING HOME!
60
00:02:30,964 --> 00:02:34,134
AS A MATTER OF FACT, HATTIE,
YOUR DAUGHTER ‐‐
61
00:02:34,134 --> 00:02:38,104
SHE'S WORSE THAN THOSE NURSES
OVER THERE. [ CHUCKLES ]
62
00:02:38,104 --> 00:02:40,440
WELL, YOU GONNA NEED
ONE OF THOSE NURSES OVER THERE
63
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,776
IF YOU COME OVER HERE
AGAIN THIS LATE.
64
00:02:42,776 --> 00:02:44,678
BYE, HATTIE.
65
00:02:44,678 --> 00:02:46,346
BYE! BAM! BAM!
66
00:02:46,346 --> 00:02:47,447
BAM.
67
00:02:48,982 --> 00:02:51,317
NOW, LINDA,
YOU GONNA HAVE TO LEARN
68
00:02:51,317 --> 00:02:52,653
TO MIND
YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
69
00:02:52,653 --> 00:02:54,821
AND FROM NOW ON,
FRIDAYS AND SATURDAY NIGHTS,
70
00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:58,491
YOU ARE BANNED FROM MY HOUSE,
YOU GOT ME?!
71
00:02:58,491 --> 00:02:59,993
WHERE AM I
SUPPOSED TO GO, MAMA?
72
00:02:59,993 --> 00:03:03,670
I WOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN!
LICK BRICKS FOR A LIVING!
73
00:03:03,670 --> 00:03:06,673
BUT GO ANYWHERE
BUT HERE!
74
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:09,209
DAMN!
75
00:03:11,712 --> 00:03:13,213
KEEP PLOPPING DOWN
ON THAT COUCH LIKE THAT,
76
00:03:13,213 --> 00:03:15,549
YOU GONNA KNOCK THAT HIP
OUT OF SOCKET AGAIN.
77
00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:18,880
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO!
78
00:03:40,073 --> 00:03:42,108
I'M MAD AS HELL.
79
00:03:44,878 --> 00:03:47,413
HATTIE,
YOU ALWAYS MAD.
80
00:03:48,882 --> 00:03:51,552
AND GRUMPY.
81
00:03:51,552 --> 00:03:53,286
AND DOPEY.
82
00:03:54,521 --> 00:03:56,523
AND SLEAZY.
83
00:03:56,523 --> 00:04:00,493
DON'T CALL
MY GRANDMOTHER SLEAZY.
84
00:04:00,493 --> 00:04:03,436
WELL,
SHE SLEAZED ME.
85
00:04:03,436 --> 00:04:04,971
YOU KNOW, SAM IS RIGHT.
86
00:04:05,739 --> 00:04:07,140
SHE IS SLEAZY.
87
00:04:08,742 --> 00:04:11,945
YOU MUST BE
TALKING ABOUT YOUR MAMA.
88
00:04:11,945 --> 00:04:16,282
NO, I'M PRETTY SURE
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU.
89
00:04:16,282 --> 00:04:18,451
YEAH, I SLEAZED YOU.
90
00:04:18,451 --> 00:04:19,452
UGH!
91
00:04:19,452 --> 00:04:21,321
[ BLOWS ]
UGH!
92
00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:26,126
WELL,
WHAT HAPPENED, THEN?
93
00:04:26,126 --> 00:04:27,460
IT'S LINDA!
94
00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,295
WHAT DID MY MOTHER
DO NOW?
95
00:04:29,295 --> 00:04:31,798
SHE'S SO...SO...
96
00:04:31,798 --> 00:04:35,101
S‐SO LINDA‐ISH!
97
00:04:35,101 --> 00:04:37,771
W‐W‐WELL, WHAT DID ‐‐
WHAT HAPPENED?
98
00:04:37,771 --> 00:04:39,706
I HAD A MAN AT MY HOUSE
LAST NIGHT.
99
00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:42,876
OH,
STOP IT RIGHT THERE.
100
00:04:42,876 --> 00:04:44,244
A MAN FOR WHAT?
101
00:04:45,579 --> 00:04:48,615
TO TAKE CARE
OF MY NEEDS.
102
00:04:48,615 --> 00:04:50,283
UGH! WHY?
103
00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:53,086
[ BLOWS ]
WHY?
104
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:55,088
I'M GONNA BE SICK
WITH YOU.
105
00:04:56,456 --> 00:04:58,959
GRANDMA, PLEASE SPARE US
THE DETAILS.
106
00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,493
WHAT DID MY MOTHER DO?
107
00:05:00,493 --> 00:05:03,236
SHE'S JUST THERE!
108
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,507
UH, SHE LIVES THERE.
109
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:10,343
YOU SHUT THE HELL UP,
FLOYD!
110
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,445
SHE'S THERE
ALL THE TIME!
111
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:13,914
WELL,
SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER.
112
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:17,417
WELL, SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT
AND GET A DATE OR SOMETHING!
113
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,419
YOU KNOW
HOW MY MOTHER IS WITH MEN.
114
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,254
SHE SHOULDN'T DATE.
115
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,757
YOUR MOM IS A BEAUTIFUL,
YOUNG WOMAN.
116
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,158
[ LAUGHS ]
117
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,829
SHE SHOULD DATE.
118
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,964
NO, SHE SHOULDN'T!
119
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,268
TAKE IT FROM ME,
SHE SHOULD.
120
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,771
ANYTHING THAT KEEPS HER
AWAY FROM OUR PLACE,
121
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:38,972
SHE SHOULD DO.
122
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,307
NO.
123
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:46,847
WELL, SHE NEEDS TO
IF SHE WANTS TO KEEP BREATHING.
124
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:52,185
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SET HER UP
ON ONE OF THOSE ONLINE SITES.
125
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,521
[ SCOFFS ]
ARE YOU CRAZY?
126
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,256
THERE'S NO WAY MY MOTHER'S
GONNA BE ON THE INTERNET,
127
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,323
LOOKING LIKE
A LONELY WOMAN.
128
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,834
I'M ON ONE.
[ LAUGHS ]
129
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,203
NOT HELPING YOUR CASE.
130
00:06:05,706 --> 00:06:08,374
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
131
00:06:08,374 --> 00:06:09,710
THERE'S NO WAY!
132
00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:13,647
NO WAY AT ALL MY MOTHER'S
GOING TO BE ONLINE DATING.
133
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:16,917
TELL ME MORE
ABOUT THAT "LINE‐ON" THING?
134
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:20,086
OKAY, WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
IT'S "ONLINE."
135
00:06:20,086 --> 00:06:21,354
[ LAUGHS ]
136
00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:22,989
[ LAUGHS MOCKINGLY ]
137
00:06:22,989 --> 00:06:24,691
WELCOME!
138
00:06:24,691 --> 00:06:29,395
WELCOME, MISS HATTIE,
TO THE 21st CENTURY.
139
00:06:29,395 --> 00:06:31,397
LOOK, I‐IT'S
A DATING SITE, OKAY?
140
00:06:31,397 --> 00:06:32,733
SEE?
141
00:06:32,733 --> 00:06:35,902
OH,
LOOK AT ALL THEM MEN.
142
00:06:35,902 --> 00:06:37,871
THEY'RE MODELS.
143
00:06:37,871 --> 00:06:40,006
HOW YOU KNOW?
144
00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:42,008
BECAUSE THEY WANTED ME
TO MODEL.
145
00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:45,612
BUT I COULDN'T GET OUT
OF MY CONTRACT WITH OkStupid.
146
00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:48,048
[ LAUGHS ]
147
00:06:48,048 --> 00:06:51,752
TOLD THEM I WAS BIZ‐AY.
148
00:06:51,752 --> 00:06:54,254
OOH,
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
149
00:06:54,254 --> 00:06:56,957
ENOUGH. THERE'S NO WAY
MY MOTHER'S DOING THIS.
150
00:06:56,957 --> 00:06:58,625
DOING WHAT?
151
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,293
ONLINE DATING.
152
00:07:00,293 --> 00:07:03,069
FOR WHO?
153
00:07:03,069 --> 00:07:05,772
YOU!
154
00:07:05,772 --> 00:07:08,008
ARE YOU CRAZY?
THERE IS NO WAY.
155
00:07:08,008 --> 00:07:10,343
I TOLD THEM THAT.
156
00:07:10,343 --> 00:07:15,616
[ SCOFFS ] O‐M‐G,
I'VE MET MEN ONLINE BEFORE.
157
00:07:15,616 --> 00:07:18,952
L‐O‐L.
BUT YOU'RE SINGLE.
158
00:07:18,952 --> 00:07:21,287
SMILEY FACE.
159
00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:24,791
AS IF.
I WASN'T ALWAYS.
160
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:27,961
WAIT A MINUTE. DIDN'T YOU
HAVE TO PUT A RESTRAINING ORDER
161
00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:30,797
ON SOMEBODY ONLINE?
162
00:07:30,797 --> 00:07:33,233
MINOR DETAIL.
163
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:38,404
GIRL, HE WAS FROM PRISON.
[ CHUCKLES ]
164
00:07:38,404 --> 00:07:41,575
WHAT CAN I SAY?
I LIKE 'EM ROUGH.
165
00:07:41,575 --> 00:07:44,410
YOU SEE?
I'M NOT DOING THAT.
166
00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:46,346
THANK YOU, MOM.
167
00:07:46,346 --> 00:07:47,514
NO PROBLEM, BABY.
168
00:07:47,514 --> 00:07:48,782
NOW, AREN'T Y'ALL
GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK?
169
00:07:48,782 --> 00:07:50,283
OH.
YEAH, WE BETTER GO.
170
00:07:50,283 --> 00:07:52,452
I'M TAKING THAT BURGER.
DREW, YOU GOT US.
171
00:07:52,452 --> 00:07:54,621
YOU DON'T
WANT A TO‐GO BAG?
172
00:07:54,621 --> 00:07:56,790
NO, I'M GOOD.
I AM A TO‐GO BAG.
173
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:57,924
[ SIGHS ]
174
00:07:57,924 --> 00:08:01,467
I ‐‐ I, UH ‐‐ DREW!
YOU FORGOT YOUR PIE!
175
00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:03,469
[ SCOFFS ]
MISS HATTIE, PLEASE.
176
00:08:03,469 --> 00:08:05,471
THIS FIGURE, THAT PIE?
STOP IT.
177
00:08:05,471 --> 00:08:08,975
NO, YOU NEED TO
START IT.
178
00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:10,143
SHUT THE HELL UP!
COME ON!
179
00:08:10,143 --> 00:08:13,279
LET'S SET HER UP
ON THAT "LINE‐ON" THING.
180
00:08:13,279 --> 00:08:17,117
OKAY, AGAIN, MISS HATTIE,
IT'S "ONLINE."
181
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:20,153
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.
JUST DO IT!
182
00:08:22,188 --> 00:08:24,490
ALL RIGHT, WELL, UM...
WE'LL NEED A PICTURE OF HER.
183
00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:26,793
OH, I GOT PLENTY OF THEM
IN MY POCKETBOOK.
184
00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:28,529
DON'T DO IT.
185
00:08:28,529 --> 00:08:31,031
WHOO!
186
00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:33,033
THAT'S NOT YOUR PURSE.
187
00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:34,535
OH, SHUT THE HELL UP,
FLOYD.
188
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:36,703
MY PURSE AIN'T
NEVER BEEN THAT SMALL.
189
00:08:40,674 --> 00:08:43,343
OH, THAT AIN'T IT.
190
00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:47,514
HMM. OH, HERE.
THAT AIN'T IT, NEITHER.
191
00:08:49,015 --> 00:08:51,685
OH. OOH, THERE IT IS.
THAT ONE.
192
00:08:51,685 --> 00:08:52,686
OOH.
193
00:08:52,686 --> 00:08:55,188
HOLD ON.
YOU CAN'T USE THAT.
194
00:08:55,188 --> 00:08:57,524
SHE WAS 25 YEARS OLD
ON THAT PICTURE.
195
00:08:57,524 --> 00:08:59,693
SEE, I HATE WHEN PEOPLE PUT
THEY PROFILE PICTURES UP THERE
196
00:08:59,693 --> 00:09:00,894
AND THEN YOU
SEE THEM IN PERSON
197
00:09:00,894 --> 00:09:03,236
AND THEN SHE END UP
LOOKING LIKE A MAN.
198
00:09:03,236 --> 00:09:04,738
LORD!
I MEAN, DUDE CAME UP ‐‐
199
00:09:04,738 --> 00:09:07,240
FLOYD!
200
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,275
MY BAD.
201
00:09:11,878 --> 00:09:13,547
DO IT.
OKAY.
202
00:09:13,547 --> 00:09:16,049
IT'S SUPER‐EASY.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
203
00:09:16,049 --> 00:09:17,383
I'LL CREATE
AN E‐MAIL ACCOUNT.
204
00:09:17,383 --> 00:09:18,785
THAT WAY,
THEY CAN CONTACT HER.
205
00:09:18,785 --> 00:09:21,454
OH, NOW,
DON'T MAIL NO E's.
206
00:09:21,454 --> 00:09:23,056
MNH‐MNH.
207
00:09:23,056 --> 00:09:25,291
JUST HAVE THEM
COME HERE.
208
00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:29,229
UH...O‐OKAY,
WELL, WHICH ONE?
209
00:09:29,229 --> 00:09:32,733
ALL OF THEM.
210
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:35,902
ARE YOU CRAZY?
211
00:09:35,902 --> 00:09:38,872
I'M SORRY.
DON'T EVEN ANSWER THAT.
212
00:09:38,872 --> 00:09:42,709
WHAT IF SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE
ARE CRAZY?
213
00:09:42,709 --> 00:09:44,044
UGH. YOU KNOW,
FLOYD'S GOT A POINT.
214
00:09:44,044 --> 00:09:46,880
I TRIED TO HAVE THESE GUYS
MEET ME AT MY HOUSE ONCE.
215
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,884
THAT'S HOW I ENDED UP IN
THE BACKSEAT OF THAT CADILLAC.
216
00:09:50,884 --> 00:09:53,286
I‐IT WAS
A TOTAL NIGHTMARE.
217
00:09:53,286 --> 00:09:56,790
SHUT THE HELL UP
AND DO IT.
218
00:09:56,790 --> 00:09:59,993
[ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT.
I'LL DO IT.
219
00:09:59,993 --> 00:10:01,602
DON'T DO IT.
220
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,604
OH, UH, MISS HATTIE ‐‐
221
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,772
HOW ABOUT THAT PIE I ORDERED?
[ CHUCKLES ]
222
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,275
GIRL, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
YOU DIDN'T ORDER NO PIE!
223
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,445
YOU NEED TO
EAT SOMETHING.
224
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,481
SUE THOSE LEGS
FOR NON‐SUPPORT.
225
00:10:23,524 --> 00:10:25,526
HERE YOU GO.
226
00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:28,194
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
227
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,031
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
228
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,668
[ SIGHS ] WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THAT, UNCLE FLOYD?
229
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,604
THAT MAN LEFT
AND DIDN'T LEAVE A TIP AGAIN.
230
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,005
WELL, THE NEXT TIME
HE COMES HERE,
231
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,306
YOU TELL HIM
ABOUT IT YOURSELF.
232
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,475
I WILL.
233
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:46,246
ORDERING COFFEE.
GET REFILL AFTER REFILL.
234
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,749
AND THEN
DON'T LEAVE NO TIP?
235
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:53,419
WHY ARE ALL THESE MEN
LOOKING AT ME?
236
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,155
THEY'RE ALL HERE
FOR YOU, BABY!
237
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,658
WHAT?
238
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,293
I SET YOU UP
ON THAT "LINE‐ON" THING.
239
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,803
MAMA!
240
00:11:04,337 --> 00:11:06,840
TAKE YOUR PICK!
ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR ME.
241
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,742
ONE FOR YOU,
ONE FOR ME.
242
00:11:08,742 --> 00:11:10,577
ONE FOR HER,
ONE FOR ME.
243
00:11:10,577 --> 00:11:12,979
ONE FOR ME,
AND THREE FOR ME.
244
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:28,261
MAMA, WHO ARE
ALL THESE MEN?
245
00:11:28,261 --> 00:11:30,897
THEY'RE ALL HERE
FOR YOU!
246
00:11:30,897 --> 00:11:33,066
I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.
247
00:11:33,066 --> 00:11:36,436
WE SET YOU UP ONLINE,
GIRL.
248
00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:38,605
[ CHUCKLES ]
SEE? TAKE A LOOK.
249
00:11:38,605 --> 00:11:40,440
THAT PICTURE'S
FROM WHEN I WAS 25.
250
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,609
I MEAN [CHUCKLES]
I STILL LOOK LIKE THAT.
251
00:11:42,609 --> 00:11:44,578
[ LAUGHS ]
252
00:11:46,513 --> 00:11:51,184
THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH
TESTOSTERONE IN HERE.
253
00:11:51,184 --> 00:11:54,955
WELL,
IT JUST DROPPED.
254
00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:56,523
WHAT'S GOING ON?
255
00:11:56,523 --> 00:11:58,458
YOUR GRANDMA'S
TRYING TO FIX ME UP.
256
00:11:58,458 --> 00:11:59,459
WHAT?
257
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:00,961
THIS IS INSANE.
258
00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,636
THIS WILL BE FUN.
YOU'LL SPEED‐DATE.
259
00:12:02,636 --> 00:12:03,804
COME ON. SIT HERE.
260
00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:05,972
UNH‐UNH! MY MAMA'S NOT
SPEED‐DATING OR NOTHING!
261
00:12:05,972 --> 00:12:08,642
TSS!
262
00:12:08,642 --> 00:12:10,143
BOY, IF YOU DON'T
GET THE HELL UP,
263
00:12:10,143 --> 00:12:12,946
YOU'RE GONNA BE ONE OF THEM
ENTREES ON THAT MENU!
264
00:12:12,946 --> 00:12:14,781
GRANDMA!
265
00:12:14,781 --> 00:12:15,849
I'M NOT DOING THIS.
266
00:12:15,849 --> 00:12:18,819
YES, YOU ARE! NOW, SIT DOWN!
WHO FIRST?!
267
00:12:51,718 --> 00:12:55,155
OKAY,
I'M DONE WITH THIS.
268
00:12:55,155 --> 00:12:58,825
GIRL,
YOU BETTER SIT DOWN!
269
00:12:58,825 --> 00:13:00,293
YOU STILL
AIN'T GOT NO MAN!
270
00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:02,235
AND YOU GONNA SIT THERE
TILL HE COME.
271
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:06,006
MAMA, EVERYBODY'S GONE.
272
00:13:06,006 --> 00:13:07,508
WELL, WAIT ON GOD.
273
00:13:09,743 --> 00:13:11,745
IS THIS GOD?
274
00:13:11,745 --> 00:13:13,914
HI. I'M WILL.
275
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:16,883
LOOK AT GOD.
276
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,619
WELL, MAYBE I HAVE TIME
FOR ONE MORE.
277
00:13:18,619 --> 00:13:20,787
OH, HEY.
278
00:13:20,787 --> 00:13:21,888
UH, MAMA,
WE NEED TO, UH ‐‐
279
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:25,058
BOY, YOU SHUT UP!
280
00:13:25,058 --> 00:13:26,560
HI. I'M LINDA.
281
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:27,628
WILL.
282
00:13:27,628 --> 00:13:30,831
I THINK HE THE ONE.
283
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:34,801
I DON'T LIKE HIM.
284
00:13:34,801 --> 00:13:36,803
YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW HIM.
285
00:13:36,803 --> 00:13:38,505
THAT MAN IS TROUBLE.
286
00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,442
DANNY,
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
287
00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:43,777
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DANNY MIGHT BE RIGHT.
288
00:13:43,777 --> 00:13:46,446
NOW, HATTIE, YOU KNOW
LINDA ALWAYS CHOOSES TROUBLE.
289
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:49,282
SHUT THE HELL UP,
FLOYD!
290
00:13:49,282 --> 00:13:51,284
IT MIGHT BE DIFFERENT,
THIS TIME.
291
00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:53,186
WE'LL SEE.
292
00:13:54,287 --> 00:13:57,290
HOW LONG
ARE THEY GONNA TALK?!
293
00:13:57,290 --> 00:14:00,293
IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO GO HOME.
294
00:14:00,293 --> 00:14:01,467
NO.
295
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:02,803
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE,
BOY! NOW!
296
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,671
COME ON, DANNY.
297
00:14:08,809 --> 00:14:10,977
I TOLD YOU, WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE EVEN COME OVER HERE.
298
00:14:10,977 --> 00:14:12,178
THEN YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE TOLD ME
299
00:14:12,178 --> 00:14:14,114
SHE WAS GOING OUT WITH THIS...
CLOWN TONIGHT.
300
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,782
MOM...
301
00:14:15,782 --> 00:14:17,951
UNH‐UNH, HEY!
LET THIS GO.
302
00:14:17,951 --> 00:14:19,285
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
303
00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:24,490
ABOUT TO GET TWO TO THE BODY
IF HE DON'T LEARN HOW TO KNOCK.
304
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:26,760
MOM, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
DO WHAT, BABY?
305
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,128
UNCLE FLOYD TOLD ME
YOU WERE GOING OUT
306
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,263
WITH A MAN YOU JUST MET!
YOU CAN'T!
307
00:14:30,263 --> 00:14:31,497
WHY NOT?!
308
00:14:31,497 --> 00:14:33,299
YOU DON'T KNOW THIS MAN.
309
00:14:33,299 --> 00:14:34,467
AND SHE WOULD NEVER
KNOW A MAN
310
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:38,371
IF SHE KEEP LISTENING
TO YOU AND YOUR FOOLISHNESS.
311
00:14:38,371 --> 00:14:40,541
LET IT GO, DANNY.
312
00:14:40,541 --> 00:14:42,543
YOUR MOTHER'S GOT TO MAKE
HER OWN DECISIONS.
313
00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:45,011
RIGHT?
SHE'S AN ADULT.
314
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:46,346
ESPECIALLY SINCE
YOUR GRANDMOTHER
315
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:50,784
DOESN'T WANT HER HERE
ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS.
316
00:14:50,784 --> 00:14:52,052
GRANDMA, YOU SHOULDN'T
BE SO MEAN.
317
00:14:52,052 --> 00:14:53,219
AND, MOM, YOU'RE WELCOME
TO COME TO OUR APARTMENT ‐‐
318
00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:54,220
DANNY!
319
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:55,889
[ GROANS ]
[ LAUGHING ]
320
00:14:55,889 --> 00:14:57,057
OW!
321
00:14:57,057 --> 00:14:58,424
MOM, OUR APARTMENT.
322
00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:00,794
DANNY!
323
00:15:00,794 --> 00:15:03,570
DANNY, REMEMBER HOW HARD IT WAS
TO GET RID OF HER BEFORE?
324
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,371
YOU'RE RIGHT.
325
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:08,208
SHE WAS THERE A LOT.
326
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,576
[ SIGHS ]
327
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,812
THEY LOOK COMFORTABLE.
328
00:15:11,812 --> 00:15:12,813
THIS IS WEIRD.
329
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:14,548
YEAH.
YEAH. WE SHOULD STAND.
330
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:15,549
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
331
00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:17,551
OKAY, EVERYBODY.
LET'S ALL RELAX.
332
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:18,685
[ CHUCKLES ]
333
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,254
IT'S JUST
A DAMN DATE!
334
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,856
WHAT ABOUT
THE HEALTH INSPECTOR?
335
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,558
YOU DIDN'T LIKE HIM,
EITHER.
336
00:15:24,558 --> 00:15:28,294
WE WEREN'T COMPATIBLE.
BUT HE WAS FINE.
337
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,030
AND HE USED TO ‐‐
338
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,365
NO, HE'S NOT.
339
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,668
AND NO LITTLE DANNYS
AROUND HERE.
340
00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:38,071
[ Laughing ]
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL
341
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,741
YOUR MAMA
CAN'T HAVE NO BABIES.
342
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:42,743
DANNYS!
343
00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:45,746
I'M ONLY 40, FLOYD.
I COULD STILL HAVE A BABY.
344
00:15:45,746 --> 00:15:49,049
THAT'S A OLD 40,
THOUGH.
345
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,384
HOW DID WE GET ON THIS,
ANYWAY? I'M CELIBATE.
346
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,786
STAY THAT WAY.
347
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,521
AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM!
348
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,958
YEAH, IT IS.
349
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,967
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK DANNY'S RIGHT.
350
00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:02,268
I'M GONNA CALL AND CANCEL.
351
00:16:02,268 --> 00:16:03,870
THE HELL YOU IS!
352
00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:06,707
YOU'RE GOING
ON THIS DATE.
353
00:16:06,707 --> 00:16:09,543
MY MAN'S
ON HIS WAY OVER HERE.
354
00:16:09,543 --> 00:16:11,712
WELL, I DON'T HAVE TO
GO OUT WITH THIS MAN,
355
00:16:11,712 --> 00:16:13,213
I CAN SPEND TIME
WITH MY FAMILY.
356
00:16:13,213 --> 00:16:14,715
UNCLE FLOYD,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
357
00:16:14,715 --> 00:16:16,349
YES, JESUS?!
358
00:16:18,384 --> 00:16:21,722
IGNORE HER?
359
00:16:21,722 --> 00:16:24,390
LEAVE NOW?
360
00:16:24,390 --> 00:16:27,594
YOUR WILL, FATHER.
YOUR WILL.
361
00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:29,495
FINE. DREW?
362
00:16:29,495 --> 00:16:30,496
GIRL, I'M BUSY.
363
00:16:30,496 --> 00:16:32,165
I...I GOT TO FIND
A MAN OF MY OWN.
364
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,800
DANNY?
365
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,137
WELL, DANNY'S FOUND A MAN ‐‐
RIGHT HERE!
366
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,806
WE DID HAVE PLANS, MAMA.
NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, SAM!
367
00:16:41,942 --> 00:16:44,611
THEN THAT SETTLES IT ‐‐
YOU'RE GOING ON THIS DATE!
368
00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:46,279
I GUESS
IT IS JUST A MOVIE.
369
00:16:46,279 --> 00:16:49,950
YEAH, MAKE SURE
YOU WATCH A SCARY ONE.
370
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:52,986
I'M LOOKING AT
A SCARY ONE RIGHT NOW.
371
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:55,956
YOU KNOW WHAT?
372
00:16:55,956 --> 00:16:58,692
IT'S TIME FOR ALL Y'ALL
TO GET UP OUT MY HOUSE.
373
00:16:58,692 --> 00:17:00,326
MY MAN IS
ON THE WAY OVER HERE!
374
00:17:00,326 --> 00:17:03,203
NOW, SEE ‐‐
THAT'S JUST WRONG.
375
00:17:03,203 --> 00:17:06,773
I KNOW.
EVEN MISS HATTIE GOT A MAN.
376
00:17:06,773 --> 00:17:09,109
WHICHEVER WAY YOU WANT TO STEP,
DON'T MAKE ME NO DIFFERENCE,
377
00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:11,377
BUT YOU GOT TO
GET UP OUT OF HERE.
378
00:17:11,377 --> 00:17:14,147
FINE.
379
00:17:14,147 --> 00:17:15,982
BYE.
380
00:17:19,152 --> 00:17:22,989
[ CHUCKLES ] BYE.
381
00:17:22,989 --> 00:17:24,691
[ SIGHS ]
382
00:17:31,497 --> 00:17:33,499
[ CHUCKLING ]
"GET OFF MY PINKY TOE!"
383
00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:35,836
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
384
00:17:35,836 --> 00:17:38,171
WELL, I REALLY HAD
A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.
385
00:17:38,171 --> 00:17:39,673
REALLY DID.
386
00:17:39,673 --> 00:17:41,575
SO DID I.
387
00:17:41,575 --> 00:17:43,744
AND, UH...REALLY,
THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT.
388
00:17:43,744 --> 00:17:45,746
MY PLEASURE.
389
00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:48,248
THANK YOU FOR...
WALKING ME TO THE DOOR.
390
00:17:48,248 --> 00:17:52,085
HA HA,
WELL, I AM A GENTLEMAN.
391
00:17:52,085 --> 00:17:53,419
YOUR MOTHER
TAUGHT YOU WELL.
392
00:17:53,419 --> 00:17:55,388
YES, SHE DID.
393
00:17:55,388 --> 00:17:57,924
MM‐KAY, WELL, THANKS.
GOOD NIGHT.
394
00:17:57,924 --> 00:17:59,092
UH...UH, WAIT, WAIT.
395
00:17:59,092 --> 00:18:01,267
WH‐WHAT?
WHAT?
396
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:03,203
WAIT?
WAIT FOR WHAT?
397
00:18:03,203 --> 00:18:04,871
WAIT SO YOU COULD COME IN?
WAIT FOR YOU ‐‐
398
00:18:04,871 --> 00:18:07,207
YOU TAKE ME TO THE MOVIE,
YOU THINK YOU GONNA GET SOME,
399
00:18:07,207 --> 00:18:08,374
BECAUSE YOU TOOK ME
TO THE MOVIES?
400
00:18:08,374 --> 00:18:10,243
THAT I'M THAT CHEAP
FOR YOU?
401
00:18:10,243 --> 00:18:11,745
A‐A MOVIE, SOME POPCORN,
AND A SLUSHY?!
402
00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:13,747
WHOA! WHOA!
403
00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:14,848
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
404
00:18:14,848 --> 00:18:17,851
I JUST WANTED TO
GO OUT WITH YOU AGAIN.
405
00:18:17,851 --> 00:18:20,521
OH.
406
00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:23,524
MY BAD.
407
00:18:23,524 --> 00:18:28,194
I GOT SOME...ISSUES
FROM SOME...PAST SITUATIONS.
408
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,696
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
409
00:18:29,696 --> 00:18:31,532
LITTLE ‐‐
LITTLE ON EDGE.
410
00:18:31,532 --> 00:18:33,700
OKAY, I ‐‐
LOOK ‐‐ I UNDERSTAND.
411
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,969
BUT NOT TO GIVE ME
A SECOND CHANCE
412
00:18:35,969 --> 00:18:37,403
BECAUSE OF THE OTHERS?
413
00:18:37,403 --> 00:18:38,905
[ SIGHS ]
414
00:18:38,905 --> 00:18:40,741
IT'S...
I‐IT'S NOT THAT, WILL.
415
00:18:40,741 --> 00:18:42,242
I HAD A GOOD TIME,
BUT...
416
00:18:42,242 --> 00:18:47,914
I'M JUST REALLY IN THE MIDST
OF A TRANSITION...
417
00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:50,316
IN MY LIFE...RIGHT NOW.
418
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:52,653
OKAY.
419
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,721
MAYBE I'M A PART
OF THAT TRANSITION.
420
00:18:54,721 --> 00:18:59,560
MM. I LIKE THAT.
421
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,603
YOU BE...
PART OF MY TRANSITION.
422
00:19:02,603 --> 00:19:04,605
[ CHUCKLES ]
423
00:19:04,605 --> 00:19:05,772
THAT'S ‐‐ NO.
424
00:19:05,772 --> 00:19:07,440
MM. MM, LINDA.
425
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,442
Think.
426
00:19:09,442 --> 00:19:13,479
UH...
YOU GONNA GO IN?
427
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:19,920
GOOD NIGHT, WILL.
428
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,456
[ CHUCKLES ]
OKAY, GOOD NIGHT.
429
00:19:31,331 --> 00:19:32,833
THANK YOU.
430
00:19:32,833 --> 00:19:34,635
HMM.
431
00:19:36,269 --> 00:19:38,104
GOOD NIGHT, WILL.
432
00:19:38,104 --> 00:19:39,139
GOOD NIGHT.
433
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,285
YOU W‐‐ N‐NO.
434
00:19:52,285 --> 00:19:53,620
GOOD NIGHT, WILL.
435
00:19:58,825 --> 00:20:02,302
WHY YOU AIN'T STICK YOUR TONGUE
DOWN THAT MAN'S THROAT?
436
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,804
I KNEW YOU WERE
IN HERE LISTENING.
437
00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:06,139
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOUR COMPANY STILL HERE?
438
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,641
OH, GIRL,
I AIN'T HAD NO COMPANY.
439
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,643
I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET YOU
OUT OF HERE ON THAT DATE.
440
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,812
[ SCOFFS ]
441
00:20:11,812 --> 00:20:14,080
[ SIGHS ]
I KNEW IT, MAMA.
442
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,516
HOW DID IT GO?
443
00:20:15,516 --> 00:20:17,150
IT WAS NICE.
444
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:19,385
AIN'T THAT NICE?
445
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,856
♪♪ GONNA GET YOU SOME,
BAM, TCH, TCH‐TCH ♪♪
446
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:26,793
♪♪ YOU GONNA GET YOU SOME,
BAM, TCH‐TCH, TCH ♪♪
447
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,128
♪♪ OH, WAIT A MINUTE ♪♪
448
00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:29,362
MAMA!
449
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,664
STOP IT.
450
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,165
WELL, YOU STARTED IT.
451
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,768
[ CHUCKLES ]
452
00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:37,771
I TICKLED
MY OWN SELF THERE.
453
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:40,140
MAMA...
HUH?
454
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:42,475
THANK YOU FOR THAT.
455
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,977
EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE,
456
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:48,081
YOU ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TO SAY
TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
457
00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:54,621
THAT'S 'CAUSE...
I LOVE YOU.
458
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,691
OHH, MAMA.
30676
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