Original subtitles

♪♪ IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

♪♪ SAM DIDN'T PARTY THE WEEKEND AWAY ♪♪

[ SIGHS ]

[ HUMMING ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHO COULD THAT BE, BOYS AND GIRLS?

GOOD MORNING! COME ON IN!

NO. I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR WORK.

COME ON.

WE HAVE AN HOUR.

I KNOW THAT. BUT I'M NOT COMING IN THERE.

WHY? IT'S MONDAY MORNING.

AND EVERYONE KNOWS

THAT AFTER SAM HAS PARTIED ALL WEEKEND,

THAT PLACE SMELLS LIKE THE BACK OF A 1995 CADILLAC.

IT'S BEEN SITTING IN THE SUN ALL DAY.

IT'S ALL HOT AND MUSTY. THE WINDOWS ARE ALL FOGGED UP.

I KEPT SCREAMING, "NO, NO, TAKE ME TO DINNER FIRST!"

AH ‐‐

COME BACK, DREW. [ CHUCKLES ]

SORRY. FLASHBACK.

YEAH.

IT'S CLEAN.

OH. I SEE.

HE DIDN'T PARTY ALL WEEKEND.

HE DIDN'T? NO.

SO IT'S SAFE TO COME IN.

WOW.

IT IS CLEAN. [ CHUCKLES ]

TOLD YOU. [ CHUCKLES ]

[ SNIFFS ] MMM.

AND IT SMELLS GOOD, TOO.

[ EXHALES ]

YEAH, HE EVEN HELPED ME CLEAN THE APARTMENT.

GEEZ. WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO HIM?

JUST TRYING TO BEHAVE, I GUESS.

IS HE DYING?

NO.

ARE YOU DYING?

NO.

THEN THIS MAKES NO SENSE TO ME.

WHY?

BECAUSE. IT'S SAM.

SAM ONLY THINKS ABOUT HIMSELF.

HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING FOR ANYONE ELSE.

EVER.

BUT I THINK HE DID IT FOR ME.

♪♪ 'CAUSE IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

♪♪ AND SAM DIDN'T PARTY THE WEEKEND AWAY ♪♪

WELL, I SEE YOU SPENT YOUR WEEKEND

WATCHING BROADWAY MUSICALS AGAIN.

YEAH.

YOUR MOM WAS HERE?

YEAH.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

SO, LET ME GET THIS RIGHT.

HE DIDN'T PARTY ALL WEEKEND?

NO.

♪♪ IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

STOP IT!

IT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.

WHERE IS HE NOW?

STILL ASLEEP.

DANNY, GO WAKE HIM UP.

I TRIED.

WELL, TRY AGAIN.

I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR WORK.

I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR ALREADY THIS MORNING,

AND HE DIDN'T ANSWER.

WELL, I GUESS YOU BETTER GO IN THERE.

I'M NOT GOING IN THERE. YOU GO.

INTO HIS ROOM?

YEAH.

NOT WITHOUT A CLEARANCE FROM THE CDC FOR THAT ROOM.

YOU KNOW HE NASTY.

DANNY, GO WAKE HIM UP.

FINE. I'LL GO.

[ SIGHS ] [ HUMMING ]

HE'S GOT COMPANY IN THERE!

I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, COMPANY?

A GIRL.

DANNY, THIS IS SAM.

HE'S ALWAYS GETTING IT.

[ Mockingly ] STOP IT!

THAT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.

[ Normal voice ] HEY. I WAS JUST COMING TO WAKE YOU.

UM [SCOFFS] WHY ARE YOU NOT DRESSED FOR WORK?

NO DRESS.

WHAT? NO WORK.

ARE YOU OKAY?

SCRATCH THAT, 'CAUSE I KNOW HE'S NOT.

SAM, WHAT'S WRONG?

I HAVE A PROBLEM.

WELL, WE ALL KNOW THAT.

BUT A BOTTLE OF LITHIUM WILL GET YOU STRAIGHT.

TRUST ME. I KNOW.

NEVER MIND.

SAM, WHAT'S WRONG?

THIS IS BAD.

WHAT'S BAD?

YOU KNOW, DANNY TOLD ME YOU STOPPED PARTYING, BUDDY.

THIS IS GOOD.

[ SNIFFS ]

ALL GOOD.

[ Voice breaking ] NOT SO GOOD FOR ME!

WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE THIS ‐‐ THIS KIND OF THING

WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF I'D BEEN PARTYING!

OR IF IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED,

I WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER.

OH, GOD. WAS I TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

OH, I HAVE TO FIND A LAWYER!

SAM!

OH, I CAN'T FACE THIS ALONE!

OH, HE'S LOST IT.

WHAT DO I DO? THIS IS AWFUL!

SAM, ARE YOU GONNA TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON?

DO YOU GUYS LOVE ME?

NO. NO.

COME ON! THIS IS SERIOUS!

AND WE SERIOUSLY SAID NO.

DANNY!

SAM!

DO YOU LOVE ME?

WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE KIDS.

OH.

THAT STILL DOESN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!

RIGHT.

DANNY!

LOOK, HE TRIED TO LET YOU DOWN EASY, OKAY?

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'LL BE ON THE PHONE,

AND YOU'LL SAY, "I LOVE YOU,"

BUT YOU WON'T HEAR IT FROM THE OTHER SIDE.

OH, NO.

INSTEAD, YOU'LL JUST FIND OUT

THAT HE MARRIED BECKY FROM GYM CLASS!

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE GOT IN THAT CADILLAC.

DO YOU NEED YOUR MEDS? [ CHUCKLES ]

I'M SORRY.

COME ON.

HAVEN'T I ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR YOU GUYS IN TIMES OF NEED?

NO.NO.

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE?

RIGHT.

YOU'RE, LIKE, THE LAST PERSON WE CAN COUNT ON.

RIGHT?

THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

I COULD REALLY USE A FRIEND RIGHT NOW.

OKAY, SAM. WHAT IS IT?

I NEED YOU TO SWEAR THAT YOU WILL BE BY MY SIDE.

SAM. COME ON! PINKY SWEAR.

WHAT ARE WE? IN PRE‐K?

PLEASE?! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TELL YOU THIS AWFUL NEWS!

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M OVER THIS.

I AM LEAVING.

YEAH, I'M WITH YOU.

SAM, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

[ STAMMERS ]

SEE? HUH?

ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. I'LL TELL YOU, OKAY?!

PLEASE, JUST DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!

OH, THIS BEGGING THING IS KIND OF CUTE.

IS THIS HOW YOU GET THE GIRLS TO STAY?

AGAINST THEIR WILL?

YES.

[ STAMMERS ]

DANNY ‐‐

DANNY, MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD...

OKAY, TALK.

SHE'S IN THERE.

WHO'S IN THERE?

HER.

THE GIRL YOU WERE WITH LAST NIGHT?

YES.

I KNOW THAT.

SO GO WAKE HER UP SO SHE CAN GO HOME.

I WISH I COULD.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL WAKE HER UP.

HELLO?! TRAMP?!

TIME TO GO, SLUT PUPPY!

I'M SURE YOUR PIMP IS SOMEWHERE WAITING FOR YOU!

THE PANTY PARTY IS OVER!

NONE OF THAT STUFF'S GONNA WORK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

'CAUSE I TRIED IT.

SAM, JUST GO WAKE HER UP.

I CAN'T.

WHY NOT?

SHE'S DEAD.

[ STAMMERS ]

SAY THAT AGAIN!

GIRL I BROUGHT HOME LAST NIGHT IS DEAD.

HOW IS SHE DEAD?

WELL, SHE ‐‐ SHE ‐‐ [CHOKING] YOU KNOW?

[ IMITATES FLAT LINE ] DEAD! I DON'T KNOW!

SHE'S JUST DEAD!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DIED!

SHE JUST STOPPED BREATHING, MAYBE WHEN I GAVE HER

THE "SAM, SAM, THANK YOU, MA'AM" MOVE ON HER.

WHAT THE HECK IS THE "SAM, SAM, THANK YOU, MA'AM"?

I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D ASK.

THIS LITTLE MOVE I DO WITH MY HIPS.

STOP IT, SAM. SPARE ME.

ARE YOU SURE SHE'S DEAD?

YES.

AND WE HAVE TO GET RID OF THE BODY.

ARE YOU CRAZY?!

[ LOCK CLICKS ]

WE NEED A SAW.

YES, HE IS CRAZY.

A‐HA!

[ WOOD CLACKING ] AAH!

WAIT A MINUTE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS COME WITH ME?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE.

SURE, SAM.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE ON ONE SIDE OF THE PRISON BARS

AND WE'RE ON THE SIDE THAT SAYS "VISITORS."

THIS ‐‐ THIS CAN'T BE.

IT'S TRUE.

WHY DO YOU HAVE SALAD UTENSILS?

'CAUSE I WAS GONNA TOSS SALLY OUT.

HER NAME ISN'T SALLY. IT'S HEATHER.

IS THAT WHAT HER NAME IS?

YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME?

THERE'S SO MANY.

AND NO ONE REMEMBERS YOUR NAME.

THEY ALL JUST RUN TOGETHER!

THEY SHOULD ALL BE RUNNING TO THE FREE CLINIC

IF THEY'RE SLEEPING WITH YOU.

HEATHER.

STOP SCRATCHING YOUR HEAD WITH MY GOOD SALAD FORK!

SORRY.

HEATHER. HER NAME IS HEATHER?

YES.

YOU INTRODUCED ME TO HER LAST NIGHT.

I DID?

YES.

DID I LEAVE HER ALONE WITH YOU?

ONLY WHILE YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

SO, YOU SAW HER ALONE?

CAREFUL, DANNY. HE'S TRYING TO SET YOU UP.

I KNOW THAT.

[ Chuckling ] I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

[ Normal voice ] I NEED YOUR HELP, OKAY? PLEASE.

SAM ‐‐ PLEASE!

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE CAME INTO THIS HELLHOLE.

I'M IN A REAL CRISIS HERE! YOU GUYS CAN'T BE THIS CRUEL!

OKAY.

SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG WITH THIS.

[ Mumbling ] SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HIM.

I KNOW.

[ Normal voice ] JUST CALM DOWN, SAM, OKAY?

YEAH.

EASY.

Drew and Danny: ♪♪ IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

♪♪ A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪

♪♪ SAM DIDN'T PARTY THE WEEKEND AWAY ♪♪

YEAH! FEELS GOOD, HUH?

UH‐HUH.

OKAY, NOW JUST LET IT GO.

LET IT GO. LET IT GO.

OW! OW!

SPLINTERS.

NOW START FROM THE BEGINNING.

OKAY.

OKAY, I CAME HOME LAST NIGHT WITH...

RIDAR‐‐ HEATHER.

THANK YOU. UH...

AND WE HAD A FEW DRINKS, AND WE WENT TO MY ROOM,

AND SHE WANTED ME TO SEE HER NEW BOOB JOB.

AND SO, I TOOK HER BRA OFF WITH MY TEETH.

STOP IT!

SPARE ME.

OKAY, AND, YOU KNOW, WE HAD A GOOD TIME, SAM‐SAM STYLE.

AGAIN, SPARE ME.

AND SHE KEPT TELLING ME

HOW MUCH SHE LIKED ME AND SHE ENJOYED ME

AND SHE WANTED TO BE AROUND ALL NIGHT

AND HOW SHE THOUGHT I WAS SO CHARMING AND HANDSOME

AND HOW SHE REALLY LOVED MY ‐‐

IS THIS STORY GOING SOMEWHERE?

OKAY, AND I WOKE UP THIS MORNING,

AND ALL I WANTED...

WAS A LITTLE EXTRA TIME WITH HER.

AND SO,

I WAS TRYING TO WAKE HER UP WITH MY MORNING KISSES

AND DIDN'T HEAR HER HEART BEATING!

SAM, MAYBE IT WAS

THAT MORNING BREATH THAT KILLED HER!

YOU GOT IT BAD, MAN. [ CHUCKLES ]

THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

WELL, DID YOU CHECK HER PULSE?

I CHECKED HER PULSE!

AND? NO PULSE!

[ SIGHS ]

I EVEN CHECKED THE ONE ON HER WRIST.

OH, NO.

"OH, NO" IS RIGHT.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

HOW?

WELL...

DREW, YOU WENT TO NURSING SCHOOL.

GO CHECK HER.

IT WAS VETERINARIAN SCHOOL.

I WORKED WITH DOGS!

AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE NASTY BOOB JOBS!

THAT WAS A NICE VETERINARIAN SCHOOL, THEN.

'CAUSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD I GREW UP IN,

DOGS HAD NASTY BOOB JOBS.

A HEART IS A HEART, RIGHT?

YES. YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!

DANNY?

NO. I‐I CAN'T DO THAT.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WE NEED TO CALL SOMEONE.

NO, NO! DO NOT CALL THE POLICE!

WE HAVE TO CALL AN AMBULANCE.

AT LEAST ‐‐ AT LEAST CHECK ON HER FIRST!

LOOK, I'M SURE THAT SOMEONE LOVES HER!

I'M SURE THAT SOMEONE IS OUT THERE

LOOKING FOR THEIR BEAUTIFUL...

DAUGHTER, DAMAN‐‐

HEATHER!

RIGHT?

YOU ARE SO AWFUL, SAM.

WELL, I'M ‐‐ I'M...I'M...

I...

I'M ME.

YEAH, WELL, MR. ME IS GOING TO JAIL FOR MURDER.

I CAN'T GO TO JAIL!

I'M CUTE.

AND I'VE BEEN DOING BUTT LIFTS.

OH, THAT'S A BAD THING.

YEAH.

IT'S FINE.

I'M SURE YOU'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU KILL SOMEBODY!

I DIDN'T KILL ANYBODY!

[ SIGHS ] DANNY, GIVE ME THIS.

LET'S JUST GO CHECK ON HER.

PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

NO, NO! NO!

NO! NO!

DON'T MAKE ME GO IN THERE, PLEASE!

DON'T MAKE ME! DON'T MAKE ME GO!

JUST SO YOU KNOW,

YOU'VE LOST ALL YOUR COOL POINTS WITH ME.

SO SAD.

STAY HERE, YOU BIG...GIRL.

GEEZ.

AFTER YOU.

NO, YOU CAN GO.

NO, YOU GO AHEAD. NO.

I'M A GENTLEMAN.

GET IN THE ROOM!

YOU'RE SO AGGRESSIVE.

OOH, DANNY, I LIKE IT. GET IN THE ROOM.

[ MOANS ]

WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THERE?

NO, I CAN'T GO IN THERE!

I CAN RUN!

NO, I CAN'T RUN.

[ Mexican accent ] I CAN LIVE IN MEXICO!

[ Normal voice ] I CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH.

[ Iranian accent ] I CAN MOVE TO IRAN!

[ Normal voice ] NO.

NO.

SAM, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU IN MY BEDROOM.

YOU WANT TO DO THIS NOW?

NO, I NEED TO HAVE AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION

WITH YOU IN MY BEDROOM.

YEAH, "SURE."

OH, MY GOSH!

TRAMP!

GO!

LOVE THE JACKET. LOSE THE SHOES.

[ SIGHS ]

WOW.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING.

IT WAS JUST A LONG, AWKWARD HUG.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE'S DEAD.

[ Voice breaking ] OH, NO! MY LIFE IS OVER!

SO IS HERS.

WHAT DO WE DO?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN [As Sam] WHAT DO WE DO?

WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER!

[ Normal voice ] AH, AH, AH. NO, SIR.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE'RE NOT.

YOU NEED A LAWYER.

YEAH.

A LAWYER?

OH, NO! OH, NO!

OH, ENOUGH OF THIS.

NO.

LET HIM SUFFER.

FOR HOW LONG?

[ LAUGHS ]

FOR AS LONG AS WE CAN.

SHE'S GONE.

SHE HAD A MEDICAL CONDITION, BUT SHE'S FINE NOW,

AND THEN WE HAD HER IN THE ROOM, AND WE ASKED HER TO HELP US

'CAUSE WE DON'T LIKE YOU AND YOU MAKE US SAD,

SO WE TOLD HER TO... JUST GO OUTSIDE.

REALLY, SO SHE'S OKAY NOW.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SHE'S FINE?

YES, SHE'S OKAY. SHE HAD A MEDICAL CONDITION.

SHE HAD SHALLOW BREATHING, BUT SHE WAS JUST ASLEEP.

SHE'S AWAKE NOW?

YES.

WHERE IS SHE?

HER PIMP CAME AND GOT HER.

I HAVE A SWEET TOOTH.

NO.