Original subtitles

>> [ WHISTLING ]

[ WHISTLING STOPS ]

HE'S SUCH A SLOB.

I WANTED TO READ THAT PAPER

TODAY!

AAH!

WHO ARE YOU?!

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, DON'T WORRY.

J‐JUST GRAB YOUR THINGS.

COME ON. GOT TO GO.

AND GET YOUR [Mumbling] PINK...

OUT OF HERE!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

SAM?

SAM, YOU GOT TO GO TO WORK.

SAM.

SAM, YOU GOT TO GO TO ‐‐

>> Shh.

YOU'RE GONNA WAKE THE TRIPLETS.

>> THEY AIN'T TRIPLETS!

>> I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE

TRIPLETS...

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

>> SAM, YOU GOT TO STOP THIS.

>> Shhhh!

Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh.

>> I DON'T CARE IF THEY WAKE UP!

>> NO, THE FIRST "Shh!" WAS FOR

MY HEAD.

THE SECOND "Shh!" WAS FOR THEM.

I'D LIKE TO BE GONE BEFORE THEY

WAKE UP.

>> WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BE

QUIET?

>> YES, PLEASE.

>> EVERYBODY UP!!

HEY.

NO, NO! EVERYBODY OUT!

LET'S GO!

THE PIMP IS IN THE ROOM!

HE SAID GET OUT!

LET'S GO! COME ON!

DON'T BE EYEBALLING ME.

GO!

>> I'LL SEE YOU ALL TONIGHT.

>> NO, HE WON'T.

THERE'LL BE NO PARTIES TONIGHT.

>> HE'S RIGHT!

No, he's not.

>> I AM GOING TO GO SANITIZE

MY WHOLE BODY.

>> GOOD WORK, SAM.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

>> GOOD MORNING, MY LITTLE

MUFFIN.

HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TODAY.

>> WHAT?

I WAS TALKING TO MY MUFFIN.

YOU WANT ONE?

>> OH, NO. SORRY.

>> WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?

>> [ SIGHS ] IT'S SAM!

>> DANNY, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA

LET IT GO?

EVERY DAY YOU COME IN HERE

COMPLAINING ABOUT HIM.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT.

AND I'VE DECIDED TO NOT COMPLAIN

ANYMORE.

>> OH, REALLY?

>> YES.

I'M JUST GONNA MOVE OUT OF

THERE.

>> OUT OF WHERE?

>> THE APARTMENT.

>> AND GO WHERE?

>> SOMEWHERE WHERE I'M WANTED...

WHERE THERE'S LOVE AND

APPRECIATION...

AND WHERE THE HEART IS.

>> YOU CAN'T BE TALKING ABOUT

YOUR GRANDMA'S PLACE.

>> WHY NOT?

>> BECAUSE.

WHEN YOU MOVED OUT, SHE SAID

THAT IF YOU TRIED TO MOVE BACK

IN, SHE WOULD HAVE A CASKET

WAITING FOR YOU.

>> [ Chuckling ] SHE WAS

KIDDING.

>> NO, SHE WASN'T.

SHE PUT ONE ON LAYAWAY.

>> SHE CAN DO THAT?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'LL GO.

I WAS LOOKING AT APARTMENTS

ONLINE, AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH

IT COSTS JUST TO RENT A PLACE?

>> DUH.

I RENT A PLACE.

>> HOW CAN YOU AFFORD TO RENT

SINCE YOUR ROOMMATE MOVED OUT?

>> WELL, I DON'T PARTY ALL

OF MY MONEY AWAY.

AND I'M HUNGRY MOST OF THE TIME.

>> COME ON, DREW.

JUST LET ME MOVE IN WITH YOU.

>> DANNY, IS THIS YOUR PROPOSAL?

>> NEVER MIND.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> ARE YOU SURE?

A GIRL'S GOT TO TAKE IT ANY WAY

SHE CAN GET IT.

KNOW WHAT AM I SAYING?

>> IT'S NOT A PROPOSAL.

TRUST ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN'T

HANDLE THE CHOCOLATE THUNDER.

>> F‐FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.

>> WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU DON'T TRUST ME?

>> NO.

STOP UNDRESSING ME WITH YOUR

EYES!

>> SORRY.

I WAS GENTLE.

>> STOP.

>> OKAY, FINE.

SO YOU'D RATHER LIVE WITH SAM...

WITH ALL THOSE LOOSE WOMEN

RUNNING THROUGHOUT THE

APARTMENT ‐‐ THOSE STRANGE, WILD

WOMEN ‐‐ THAN TO LIVE WITH ME?

>> YES.

>> WHY?

>> 'CAUSE THEY'RE SAFER.

>> YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

'CAUSE I'LL PUT IT ON YA.

YOU KNOW I GOT A WILD SIDE.

[ PURRING ]

[ PURRING CONTINUES ]

HEY, SAM!

HEY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> ABOUT TO ATTACK SOME

DALMATIANS...

DREW‐ELLA?

>> VERY FUNNY.

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ COUGHS ]

>> OKAY.

I TAKE IT YOU TWO BOYS

AREN'T TALKING TO EACH OTHER.

>> GUESS NOT.

HE DOESN'T SEE ME AT THE DESK.

>> I'M SORRY.

I COULDN'T SEE YOU.

YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE

AN INANIMATE OBJECT.

IF I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOU, I

MIGHT AS WELL TALK TO THE PEN.

WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?

>> WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME?

WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME?!

THE NOISE! THE PARTIES.

I CAN'T SLEEP.

I HAVE LIVED THERE FOR TWO

MONTHS, AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

>> AWW.

POOR DANNY BOY.

>> NO, YOU'RE POOR SAMMY BOY!

>> TO NOT BE TALKING TO EACH

OTHER, YOU TWO SURE ARE TALKING

TO EACH OTHER.

>> WELL, DREW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

SO, I'M DONE.

>> GOOD.

>> FINE.

>> GREAT.

>> FANTASTIC.

>> AWESOME.

>> WONDERFUL!

SORRY, I JUST WANTED TO JOIN

ON THE ADJECTIVE REINDEER GAMES.

>> I'M JUST GOING TO SAY THIS

ONE LAST THING.

>> WHAT?

>> IT IS THE FIRST, AND THE RENT

IS DUE.

>> [ SCOFFS ]

I'M NOT PAYING YOU!

YOU ARE DISRESPECTFUL.

>> HOW AM I DISRESPECTFUL?

>> I PAY HALF OF THE RENT,

AND I HAVE NO SAY.

THAT'S LIKE STEALING FROM ME!

>> I AM NOT...

STEALING FROM YOU.

>> THEN NO MORE PARTIES.

I LIVE THERE, TOO!

>> OKAY, QUIT PLAYING AROUND

AND GIVE ME THE RENT.

FLOYD WILL NEED IT TODAY.

>> NO, I'M NOT.

>> YOU'RE NOT?

>> NO.

UNTIL YOU STOP THE PARTYING,

I'M NOT PAYING THE RENT.

>> HOLD ON.

YOU'RE HOLDING MY PANTY PARTIES

RANSOM...

FOR YOUR HALF OF THE RENT?

>> I'M NOT PAYING THE RENT

UNTIL YOU AGREE TO STOP ALL

THE PARTIES.

>> I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD BE

THIS WAY.

>> WHAT WAY?

>> CRUEL AND UNUSUAL.

>> YOU'RE THE UNUSUAL ONE.

>> YOU TWO ARE STILL TALKING

TO EACH OTHER.

>> STOP KIDDING AROUND.

FLOYD WILL NEED THE RENT WHEN WE

GET BACK HOME.

>> WELL, I'M NOT GIVING YOU

THE MONEY.

>> YOU'RE NOT?

>> NO.

>> DANNY.

>> I'M NOT PAYING THE RENT

FOR A PLACE WHEN I HAVE NO SAY

IN WHAT HAPPENS.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

>> FINE.

>> FINE.

>> GOOD.

>> GOOD.

>> SUPER.

>> COOL.

>> YOU RAN OUT.

DREW...

YOU ARE LOOKING LOVELY TODAY.

>> THANK YOU.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WAIT A SECOND.

I'M NOT LOANING YOU ANY MONEY,

EITHER.

>> DID I ASK YOU FOR ANY MONEY,

YOU LITTLE S‐‐

SOUR‐DOUGH POWER BAR?

>> NO, MY LITTLE CDC‐INFECTED

SPECIMEN.

>> I AM NOT ON RECORD THERE.

>> RIGHT.

ONLY AT THE FREE CLINIC.

>> FOR YOUR INFORMATION...

I DON'T NEED ANY MONEY.

>> THEN WHAT DO YOU NEED?

>> NOTHING.

I'M JUST...BEING NICE.

>> YOU NEED THAT HALF

OF THE RENT.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

YEAH, I DO.

>> WELL...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO ASK

THE TRIPLETS?

>> THEY DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

THEY JUST PROVIDE ALL

THE MEN‐TERTAINMENT.

>> WELL, THEY NEED TO COME UP

WITH THE RENT.

>> OKAY.

SO YOU'RE GIVING ME AN

ULTIMATUM?

>> YES.

STOP THE PARTYING OR NO RENT.

>> YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT RENT,

DON'T COME BACK TO MY PLACE.

>> WHAT?

>> YOU'RE EVICTED.

>> [ GASPS ]

EVICTED?

YOUR PLACE? R‐REALLY? REALLY?!

>> YES. GOODBYE!

>> WELL, FINE!

I WON'T COME BACK!

>> GOOD.

GOOD.

HE'S DONE.

>> HEY, GRANDMA.

>> OH, HEY, BABY.

HOW YOU DOING?

>> WHAT?

>> IT'S SURE GOOD TO SEE YOU.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

>> COME ON IN HERE, SIT DOWN.

LET ME GET YOU SOME LUNCH.

COME ON IN.

FLOYD, LOOK WHO HERE.

>> I SEE.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT'S UP, YOUNG'UN?

>> HA HA!

MY GRANDBABY HERE NOW.

>> IS GRANDMA DYING?

>> DAMN IT, NO.

BUT, NO, WHY YOU ASK?

>> SHE'S NICE.

>> I KNOW.

THE DINER'S BEEN DOING REAL

WELL.

>> OH, THAT'S GREAT.

>> I MEAN, WHAT BRINGS YOU BY

TODAY, THOUGH?

YOU LOOK TIRED, BOY.

>> I AM.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU ARE A HARDWORKING MAN.

>> I'M NOT TIRED FROM THE WORK.

>> WELL, WHAT ARE YOU TIRED

FROM?

>> IT'S SAM.

HE'S KEEPING ME AWAKE AT NIGHT.

>> HOW IS SAM...

KEEPING YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT?

>> HE PARTIES LIKE HE'S CRAZY.

>> I MEAN, WELL, IF YOU CAN'T

BEAT HIM, JOIN HIM, BRO.

>> I'M NOT GONNA JOIN HIM.

I WANT TO BEAT HIM.

>> OH, HELL, DANNY.

JUST TALK TO HIM.

>> I DID TALK TO HIM.

>> AND WHAT DID HE SAY?

>> "PARTY OVER HERE! HEY!"

>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM.

THAT BOY IS FUNNY.

[ LAUGHS ]

MM.

SO SAD.

>> DO YOU THINK GRANDMA HATTIE

WOULD LET ME MOVE BACK IN

WITH HER?

[ POTS CLATTER ]

>> HELL, NO.

>> HOW DID SHE HEAR ME?

SHE'S ALL OF THE WAY IN

THE KITCHEN.

>> DOG HEARING.

>> WITH A MARKSMAN AIM.

NOW, KEEP IT UP, FLOYD.

>> LOOK, SAM DOESN'T SEEM

UNREASONABLE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TALK TO HIM?

>> I DID.

I'M JUST ‐‐ I'M GOING TO TALK

TO THE LANDLORD.

>> NOW, LOOK, NOW.

YOUR MAMA AND I AIN'T RAISED YOU

TO BE NO SNITCH.

>> WELL, UNCLE FLOYD, I GOT TO

DO SOMETHING.

'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO GET BAGS

UNDER MY EYES.

>> WOW.

THEY'RE STARTING TO MATCH YOUR

GRANDMA'S BAGS.

>> AND IT'S GONNA MATCH YOUR

BODY BAG.

SAY SOMETHING ELSE, FLOYD.

SAY ANYTHING ELSE.

>> LOOK, JUST HELP ME.

>> WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

>> I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO TELL

SAM TO STOP ALL OF THE PARTIES.

>> MAN, I CAN'T GIVE UP ALL OF

THAT FREE BEER AND MASSAGES THAT

I GET.

>> I'M ON MY OWN.

YOU ARE NO HELP.

I DON'T SEE WHY NOBODY ELSE

IN THE BUILDING COMPLAINS.

>> ALL OF THE APARTMENTS ARE

SOUNDPROOF.

THEY CAN'T HEAR THE SCREAMING.

>> RIGHT.

'CAUSE I'M SCREAMING EVERY

NIGHT.

>> THERE YOU GO, BABE.

COME ON. SIT DOWN.

GO AHEAD, SIT DOWN.

COME ON.

SIT DOWN AND EAT.

THERE YOU GO.

DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW PROUD

I AM OF YOU?

>> ARE YOU?

>> YEAH!

YOU GOT YOUR OWN APARTMENT AND

YOUR OWN JOB AND EVERYTHING.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

ABOUT THAT...

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NAH‐UNH.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT

NO PROBLEMS.

>> NOW, HATTIE, YOU JUST HEARD

THAT BOY.

HE WANTS TO MOVE BACK IN WITH

YOU.

>> OH, IS THAT WHAT HE SAID?

>> YEP.

>> OH.

SAY IT AGAIN, BABE.

GO AHEAD.

SAY IT AGAIN.

GO AHEAD.

>> SEE, UNCLE FLOYD, SHE IS

IN A GOOD MOOD.

>> SAY IT AGAIN.

SURE, GO AHEAD.

>> I WANT TO MOVE BACK IN

WITH YOU.

>> I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU

SAID.

SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

F‐FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.

>> YEAH. HA HA!

THAT WHAT I THOUGHT.

SLAP THAT MESS RIGHT OUT YOUR

MOUTH, DIDN'T I?

>> DID IT HURT?

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

SHE WAS JUST KIDDING.

I'LL ASK HER ‐‐

I'LL ASK HER AGAIN.

>> OKAY.

GO RIGHT AHEAD.

NEXT TIME, IT'S GONNA BE TWO

TO THE BODY.

PROTECT THE LOW.

>> GRANDMA?

>> YEAH, BABE?

>> I NEED TO MOVE BACK IN

FOR A WHILE.

>> OH, PRECIOUS, DID YOU

THINK THAT CHAIR GONNA PROTECT

A BULLET?

OH, YEAH, COME ON, COME ON.

YOU CAN GO ON BACK HOME.

>> I CAN COME BACK HOME?

>> YEAH.

YOU CAN GO HOME WHENEVER YOU GET

READY.

>> I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR HOUSE.

>> OH, NO, BABE.

UNH‐UNH. NO, NO, NO.

NOW, SEE, THAT'S NOT HOME FOR

YOU.

THAT'S HOME FOR ME.

AND WHENEVER THAT THERE ENTERS

YOUR MIND THAT THAT'S YOUR HOME,

I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THIS.

BABE, I WANT YOU TO BIND THAT

OUT OF YOUR MIND.

THAT'S AN EVIL DEMON.

YOU BIND THAT OUT OF YOUR PRETTY

LITTLE HEAD.

>> SO YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT

FOR US FOR LUNCH?

>> I NEEDED SOME FRESH AIR.

>> YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US WHERE

YOU WERE GOING.

>> WHY?

YOU NEVER CONSIDER THAT OR MY

FEELINGS WHEN YOU'RE PARTYING

ALL NIGHT!

>> COME ON, DANNY.

START PARTYING AND STOP ACTING

LIKE YOU'RE YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S

AGE.

>> OH, NO, NO, NO, BABY.

HE AIN'T ACTING MY AGE.

'CAUSE IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

I REMEMBER COMING TO PARTY WITH

YOU, AND YOU ENDED UP IN THE BED

WITH ME.

>> THAT DAMN WHITE LIGHTNING.

>> HEH.

>> I'M STILL TRYING TO GET OVER

THAT.

IT ALMOST KILLED ME.

>> YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE IT'S

A BAD THING, AND YOU WILL BE

KILLED.

>> I'M SORRY, GRANDMA HATTIE.

>> OH, NO, BABY.

DON'T APOLOGIZE.

'CAUSE THAT THERE WAS A...

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER.

>> I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT!

>> OH, OH, OH.

SO YOU TALKING ABOUT ALL

THE PARTYING YOU BE DOING,

AND MY GRANDBABY CAN'T SLEEP?

SAM, HE PAYS HALF OF THE RENT,

AND YOU GONNA HAVE TO LEARN

TO BE A LITTLE BIT MORE

RESPECTABLE.

>> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I TOLD

HIM, MISS HATTIE.

>> OHH.

SO YOU GET YOUR GRANDMOMMY

TO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES?

>> I FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES.

TELL HIM, GRANDMA.

>> LOOK, LOOK.

THAT ‐‐ THAT IS MY APARTMENT,

AND I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT...

I'VE LOST MY APPETITE.

>> PROBABLY ALL THAT TALK

OF SLEEPING WITH HATTIE.

>> BETTER WATCH OUT, FLOYD.

HE BE SOMEWHERE TRYING TO HIT

A HOOK SLIDE UP IN MY DOOR.

>> WHAT?!

>> I'M MOVING OUT NOW.

>> GOOD.

>> [ Grunting ] THIS BOX IS SO

HEAVY.

OH, MY GOD! I GOT TO MOVE!

>> GREAT.

>> MY GRANDMA IS GONNA BE

HAPPY TO SEE ME.

>> FANTASTIC.

>> STILL MOVING OUT WITH THIS

BOX.

>> AWESOME.

>> WISH I HAD A GOOD FRIEND

TO HELP ME WITH MOVING.

>> [ STAMMERS ]

DON'T GO.

THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS BOX.

>> WELL, IS THERE SOMETHING

YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME?

>> I'M SORRY, DANNY.

>> APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

>> THANK YOU.

AND I PROMISE TO CUT BACK

ON ALL THE PARTIES.

>> YOU SAID THAT THE LAST TIME,

AND THEY INCREASED.

WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE FOR YOU

TO JUST QUIT?

>> [ SCOFFS ] OLD AGE.

DEATH.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M OUT OF HERE.

>> NO, NO, NO!

COME ON! COME ON!

DANNY, I'M JUST ‐‐

I'M REALLY LONELY.

I LIKE HAVING PEOPLE AROUND.

>> WHAT?

LONELY?

>> YES.

>> WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST

TELL ME?

>> WILL YOU HOLD ME?

>> YOU'RE FULL OF IT.

>> FULL OF THE DESIRE OF WANTING

TO BE HELD BY HIS BRO.

>> OKAY.

>> COME ON.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> THERE YOU GO.

>> BUDDY.

>> OH, YOU ARE SO NAIVE AND

GULLIBLE!

>> DON'T CALL ME NAMES!

>> PARTY STARTS IN 20 MINUTES.

>> I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A HUG!

YOU'RE...

>> TOGA!

TOGA!

TOGA!