Original subtitles

OH, LET IT BE ON.

OH, YEAH.

"SWEETIE PIE" ON.

I BE BACK, MISS ROBBIE.

♪♪ GOT THE BLUE IN THE MORNING, GOT THE BLUE IN THE NIGHT ♪♪

♪♪ GOT THE BLUES ♪♪

♪♪ I'M GONNA POUR ME A POT OF COFFEE ♪♪

♪♪ AND IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪♪

[ POT CLANKS, COFFEE TRICKLES ]

ALL RIGHT, DAUGHTER. I WAS WATCHING THAT.

I KNOW, BUT THE NEWS IS COMING ON, AND IT'S SO DEPRESSING.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS DEPRESSING?

WHAT?

A FUNERAL.

'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GONNA BE ATTENDING

IF YOU TOUCH MY TV AGAIN.

FINE, WE'LL WATCH THE DEPRESSING NEWS

WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG IN THE WORLD.

THE ECONOMY'S BAD, THERE'S A WAR GOING ON SOMEWHERE.

THERE'S GONNA BE ONE TWIXT ME AND YOU.

NOT TO MENTION SOMEBODY'S GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.

A DIVORCE.

HERE I AM GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.

HOW DID I GET HERE?

YOU KNOW, I WONDERED THE SAME THING.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU, I WAS SO SAD.

I WAS DEPRESSED.

BUT I HAD A DREAM!

I DREAMED THAT YOU LEFT.

I ALSO DREAMED THAT I WOULD GROW OLD ENOUGH

TO CAUSE YOU THE SAME HELL THAT YOU CAUSED ME.

AND HOW DID YOU GET BACK IN MY HOUSE, ANYHOW?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

UH, I DON'T KNOW. GET A JOB?

YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST STARTED WORKING, I WAS ‐‐

7 YEARS OLD. I KNOW, I KNOW.

THAT'S RIGHT.

MY MAMA HAD ME IN THE FIELD, PICKING BEANS ‐‐

20,000 POUNDS FOR THREE CENTS A POUND.

AND AFTER GOING TO SCHOOL ALL NIGHT,

GOT ME 15 MINUTES OF SLEEP, GOT UP,

AND DONE THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN.

AND ALL OF THAT AT 7?

GIRL, YEAH.

I DONE MORE BEFORE I WAS 7 YEARS OLD

THAN THESE CHILDREN WILL DO IN A LIFETIME.

AND LOOK AT YOU, SITTING HERE ON THIS HERE SOFA

AND AIN'T MOVED ALL DAY.

YOU REMIND ME OF YOUR SON WHEN HE WAS HERE.

WELL, NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS GOING THROUGH.

DID YOU EVEN GET UP AND LOOK FOR A JOB?

YEAH. I CIRCLED THESE ADS.

"MARINE MAMMAL EXPERT WANTED."

"C.E.O. OF A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY NEEDED."

GIRL, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

YOU LOOKING IN THE WRONG SECTION.

HERE, LOOK IN THE WHOLE SECTION.

"GO‐GO DANCERS WANTED."

[ CHUCKLES ] GO‐GO WILL GET YOU THE DOUGH‐DOUGH.

DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY.

[ SIGHS ] MAMA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

I CAN'T GET IT IN GEAR.

I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

YOU NEED TO GET UP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

YOU KNOW, GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE IS LIKE GRIEVING.

I WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT,

'CAUSE IF ANY ONE OF MY MEN HAD LEFT ME, I'D KILL 'EM DEAD.

[ SIGHS ] WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

STOP ALL THAT WHINING.

AND TAKE THAT DOGGONE TEDDY BEAR NIGHTGOWN OFF.

THEM LITTLE THINGS ON THERE

MAKE ME WANT TO CHOKE THE HELL OUT OF THEM.

I LIKE IT. IT'S COZY.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS COZY?

A COMA.

AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU GONNA BE IN

IF I COME THROUGH THAT DOOR ONE MORE AGAIN

AND CATCH YOU LAID UP ON THAT SOFA

AND AIN'T MOVED ALL DAY.

TURNING OFF MY "SWEETIE PIE."

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

THIS LOOKS SO GOOD, DANNY.

THANK YOU.

[ Mockingly ] THIS LOOKS SO GOOD, DANNY.

DON'T BE MAD BECAUSE HIS DESIGNS ARE BETTER THAN YOURS.

WELL, HE WORKS ON THEM ALL NIGHT.

WHICH IS NOT EASY, SEEING AS HOW THE PARTY NEVER STOPS.

PARTY? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

A PARTY? LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT A PARTY IS.

LOUD MUSIC, DRINKING, DIFFERENT WOMEN EVERY NIGHT.

THAT'S A PARTY.

SOUNDS LIKE A TRIP TO THE FREE CLINIC, TO ME.

IS THAT PORN?

OH, MY LITTLE DEPRIVED VILLAGERS.

I'M LIVING THE LIFE.

I'M HAVING FUN.

NOT A PARTY.

IF THAT'S NOT A PARTY,

THEN YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT A PARTY IS.

YOU AND I NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION

ABOUT WHAT A PARTY IS.

THIS ALREADY SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE RIDICULOUS.

AH‐AH. OKAY.

TELL ME.

I JUST HAVE A FEW FRIENDS OVER FOR DRINKS ON THE WEEKEND.

[ SCOFFS ] SAM, A FEW FRIENDS?

YES.

OVER THE WEEKEND? YES.

THERE WERE 18 PEOPLE AT THE APARTMENT LAST NIGHT.

YES.

AND WHY ARE YOU COUNTING?

HE WHO COUNTS IS A LONELY SOUL.

THEY KEPT ASKING ME TO MOVE OVER IN MY BED SO THEY COULD DO IT.

ALL 18 OF THEM.

OH, GOD, THAT IS AWFUL.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

OKAY, OKAY.

SO, MY FRIENDS ARE A LITTLE ECCENTRIC.

THEY'RE NASTY.

YEAH, I LOVE IT.

[ SIGHS ] BUT LISTEN, I‐I‐I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M POPULAR.

A FEW FRIENDS TO YOU IS, LIKE, ONE OR TWO.

A FEW FRIENDS TO ME IS, LIKE ‐‐

A FOOTBALL TEAM.

ONLY IF THEY'RE FEMALES.

WELL, THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME...

YOU STOP IT.

THAT WAS A DARE...

THAT I HAVE HAD NIGHTMARES ABOUT EVER SINCE.

AND WHAT'S THIS ABOUT WEEKENDS ONLY?

WHAT? THE WEEKENDS?

YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER EVERY NIGHT.

OH, RIGHT.

MY WEEKENDS AREN'T DIVIDED BY THE END OF THE WORK WEEK

LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.

OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

YOU ASKED.

DON'T YOU CALL HER AN ASS.

I SAID, "YOU ASKED," YOU ASS.

ENOUGH ABOUT MY LITTLE ASS ALREADY.

EVEN THOUGH IT'S REALLY, REALLY CUTE.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM? WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL US?

HOW ARE YOUR WEEKENDS "DIVIDED"?

THANK YOU.

MY WEEKENDS ARE DIVIDED BY THE END OF THE WORK DAY.

NOW, I ADD UP ALL THOSE HOURS,

AND MY WEEKENDS ARE LONGER THAN YOU POOR FOLKS.

YOU GUYS GET TWO DAYS, AND I GET FIVE.

SEE?

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED.

WELL, YOU NEED TO STOP IT 'CAUSE IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHAT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY?

[ SCOFFS ] WHAT?

I'M A GREAT ROOMMATE.

YES, YOU ARE...

EXCEPT FOR YOUR MOM.

WHAT ABOUT MY MAMA?

SHE'S BEEN COMING OVER EVERY SINGLE DAY.

SHE DOES? OH, DANNY, THAT'S SO SWEET.

NO.

ONCE A WEEK IS SWEET, NOT THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.

WELL, SAM, MAYBE HER WEEK IS DIVIDED BY ‐‐

YOU STOP IT.

THERE WAS A DARE.

A DARE!

DOES SHE COME OVER OFTEN?

NO.

YES.

SHE ONLY COMES OVER, LIKE, EVERY OTHER DAY.

POPPING UP LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A TOASTER!

SHE'S GOING THROUGH A LOT WITH HER DIVORCE.

ALL RIGHT, SHE'S LONELY AND SHE'S...

HERE.

HEY, SON.

TOAST IS READY.

MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME TO TAKE YOU TO LUNCH,

BUT WE'LL HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE INEXPENSIVE.

YOU KNOW I'M ON A BUDGET.

UH, I ALREADY HAD LUNCH,

AND I'M WORKING ON A HUGE PROJECT,

AND I CAN'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. I REALLY WANTED TO SEE YOU.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?

UH...

UH...A HUGE, HUGE...

HUGE PROJECT.

YEAH, WELL, DANNY, WE, UH, WE BETTER GET GOING.

YES. THAT'S RIGHT. WE ‐‐ WE BETTER GET ON THAT.

HI. I'M DREW.

LINDA. NICE TO MEET YOU.

I WANT TO HAVE YOUR GRANDBABIES.

I GUESS I'LL LET YOU GUYS GET BACK TO WORK.

OKAY.

I'M ONLY A PHONE CALL AWAY IF YOU NEED ME, BABY.

WATCH HER.

BYE, MOM. LOVE YOU.

THE BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

I HEAR THEY PARTY THERE.

GRANDMA, LOOK, YOU GOT TO HELP ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SHE'S ALWAYS OVER AT THE HOUSE, AND IT'S JUST TOO MUCH.

BRO, I TOLD YOUR GRANDMAMA SHE NEED TO TALK TO YOUR MAMA.

BUT THAT'S ALL I'VE BEEN DOING.

AND YOU KNOW HOW PATIENT I CAN BE.

WHAT? YOU ABOUT AS PATIENT AS A NERVOUS POODLE WAITING TO PEE.

WELL, YOU TALK TO HER, THEN.

NO, YOU TALK TO HER.

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO TALK TO HER 'CAUSE SHE'S ‐‐ THERE!

WAS THAT DANNY?

NO.

UNH‐UNH.

NO, THAT'S ANOTHER CUSTOMER LOOKED JUST LIKE HIM

NAMED FLASH.

UH, BABY, I SEE YOU STILL GOT THEM DAMN PAJAMAS ON.

NO.

THIS IS A DRESS.

WOW.

WELL, IT STILL GOT THEM TEDDY BEARS ON THERE.

YOU LIKE IT?

YEAH, FOR A 5 YEAR OLD...

...WHO LOOK LIKE SHE'S IN A ONESIE. [ LAUGHS ]

UNH‐UNH, HATTIE. SHE TOO BIG FOR A ONESIE.

THAT'S A 16‐SIE.

OH, GEE! [ LAUGHS ]

UH, LINDA, YOU START LOOKING FOR A JOB YET?

YES. WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP ASKING ME THAT?

[ Mockingly ] BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO PRE‐K.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T NEED THIS.

I'M GOING TO BE WITH MY SON AT HIS APARTMENT

BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS ME AND ENJOYS BEING WITH ME.

HE LOVES ME.

UH, PRECIOUS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SHE ABOUT TO GET THAT ASS DISAPPOINTED.

[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]

OH.

NO.

WHO'S THAT KNOCKING?

SHH! SHH!

[ MUFFLED MUMBLING ]

CAN'T HEAR YOU.

YOU NEED TO STOP TREATING WOMEN THIS WAY.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH THEM,

THEN JUST LET THEM KNOW IT, AND WHAT WAS ON YOUR HAND?

HAIR GEL?

[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]

WOW, SHE IS NOT GOING AWAY.

EVENTUALLY, SHE WILL.

HER KNUCKLES ONLY HAVE SO MUCH MORE SKIN BEFORE THEY GIVE OUT.

TRUST ME, I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.

DANNY, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, DON'T ANSWER THAT DOOR.

WHO IS IT?

THAT'S YOUR MOM.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

NO, NO! WAIT. LISTEN TO ME.

IF YOU ANSWER THAT DOOR, SHE WILL BE HERE ALL NIGHT.

ALL NIGHT.

I DON'T CARE. THAT'S MY MAMA. YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

HAVE I EVER LED YOU WRONG?

ALL THE TIME.

BUT I DO NEED TO GET THIS PROJECT DONE TONIGHT.

AND IF SHE'S HERE, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO.

[ SIGHS ]

RIGHT.

OFFICER, NO!

OH.

IT'S YOU.

HEY, LINDA, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT EARLIER, OKAY?

FORGET ABOUT IT.

NOBODY SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH,

EXCEPT FOR MY SON.

I WISH HE WAS HOME.

HE IS HOME. NO, HE'S NOT.

I'VE BEEN KNOCKING FOR A LONG TIME.

I'M TELLING YOU, I SAW HIM GO IN.

OH. WELL, FLOYD, YOU SHOULD OPEN THE DOOR.

MAYBE SOMETHING'S WRONG.

NO, I DON'T TYPICALLY DO THAT.

UNCLE FLOYD, I KNOW MY SON. OPEN THE DOOR.

I'M TELLING YOU ‐‐ OPEN THE DOOR, UNCLE FLOYD!

SO MUCH LIKE YOUR MAMA.

JESUS. DAMN.

COME ON.

YOU FIGURE OUT WHICH KEY IT IS, THEN.

NOW, LINDA, THIS IS ILLEGAL STALKING

UNLESS YOU'RE IN ALABAMA AND YOU GOT A PERMIT FOR THE GOAT.

REALLY?

DANNY, YOU WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME?

MAMA, I'M SO SORRY.

MY SON. MY SON.

MAMA, WAIT. [ SIGHS ]

SHAME ON YOU. SHAME ON YOU, BOY.

YOU WOULDN'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR OWN MAMA.

'CAUSE SHE'S DRIVING US CRAZY.

BUT IT WAS FUNNY, THOUGH.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I KNOW, RIGHT? YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN Y'ALL.

Y'ALL WERE LIKE TWO DEER IN A HEADLIGHT.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

THAT'S MY MOTHER YOU GUYS ARE LAUGHING AT.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I'M SORRY.

GREAT. LOOK, I NEED TO GO AFTER HER.

NO, DON'T. COME ON, MAN.

LOOK, SHE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

LOOK, ALL THIS MEANS IS THAT HER ONLY BEGOTTEN SON

JUST LEFT HIS MAMA OUT THERE JUST KNOCKING AND BANGING

ON THE DOGGONE DOOR,

TAKING THE SKIN OFF OF HER KNUCKLES...

...SKIN RUBBED ALL OFF.

SEE, I TOLD YOU.

BLOOD ALL ON THE DOOR.

YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, SHE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

I'M GONNA GO FIND HER.

NO, NO! COME ON, DUDE!

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN. SHE'LL COME BACK.

Floyd: RIGHT.

SHE ALWAYS DOES.

OVER AND OVER AND [Laughing] OVER AGAIN.

WHEN DO YOU STOP? NEVER.

HE WON'T STOP IT.

YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD YOU TWO ARE FINDING THIS SO FUNNY.

YEAH, WE ARE. IT'S HILARIOUS.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO HELL.

OH, NO, NO, NO.

YOU THE ONE THAT LEFT YOUR MAMA OUT THERE KNOCKING.

YOU GONNA BE FIRST IN LINE.

WAIT, WAIT. WAIT.

WAIT.

[ KNOCKS ]

HELLO, IN THERE?

WHO IS IT?

YO MAMA!

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

THAT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU GONNA GET AWAY WITH THAT.

IT'S TRUE.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]

WHO IS IT? WE CLOSED.

IT'S ME, GRANDMA. OPEN THE DOOR.

COMING ON THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT.

WHY DOESN'T MY KEY WORK?

'CAUSE SOMEBODY BEEN WALKING OUT OF HERE WITH MY MEAT

ON THE REGULAR, AND I WANTS TO KNOW WHO DOING IT.

THERE'S A MILLION JOKES TO GO ALONG WITH THAT,

BUT I'M GONNA LET YOU SLIDE.

HEY, BABY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

GRANDMA, HAVE YOU SEEN MY MOTHER?

AM I HER KEEPER?

SHE STORMED OUT OF MY APARTMENT.

OOH, THAT SURE SOUND GOOD TO ME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THIS IS ‐‐ THIS IS SO SAD.

NO, YOUR APARTMENT.

PRAISE GOD FOR YOU AND YOUR APARTMENT.

GRANDMA, I'M TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER.

WHAT HAS YOU DONE NOW?

HE WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER

WHEN SHE WAS KNOCKING OUTSIDE HIS APARTMENT.

IT WAS SAD. [ CHUCKLES ]

YOU WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR OWN MOTHER?!

THE SAME MAMA THAT WAS IN LABOR WITH YOU FOR 15 HOURS?

THE SAME ONE THAT GOT PREGNANT WITH YOU

WHEN SHE WAS 16 YEARS OLD AND WAS SCARED TO TELL ME?

THE SAME ONE THAT ABANDONED SCHOOL

SO YOU CAN HAVE SOMEBODY TO STAY HOME WITH YOU?

AND YOU WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR OWN MOTHER?!

NO. HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

YEAH, SHE COME BY HERE, BUT I WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WELL, WHERE'D SHE SAY SHE WAS GOING?

I DON'T KNOW. SHE MAD AT ME, TOO.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO?

I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER.

I FEEL SO BAD.

IT'S MY FAULT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE LISTENED TO YOU. I NEVER DO ANYWAYS.

RIGHT? SO, WHY DID YOU START NOW?

SAM.

I'M SORRY.

YOU BOTH OUGHT TO JUST BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

NO. SHE COULD DRIVE A BAT CRAZY.

THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

KEEP GOING, FLOYD.

DO YOU THINK SHE WENT BACK TO LIONEL?

IF SHE DID, SHE A FOOL.

LOOK, I'M GONNA GO FIND HER.

BOY, YOUR MAMA A GROWN WOMAN.

SHE KNOW WHEN SHE WANT TO COME HOME.

BELIEVE ME.

SHE DOES.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU GO AND STOP IT.

[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]

[ GASPS ]

NO!

WHO IS THAT? IS THAT MY MAMA?

SHH! SHH! SHH!

NO, YOU GET THEM NASTY HANDS AWAY FROM ME.

IS THAT HER? IS THAT MY MOTHER?

IT'S YOUR MOM.

GET OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE.

MAMA. I AM SO SORRY.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE. I COULDN'T FIND YOU, THOUGH.

DANNY, I JUST CAME TO SAY IF I WAS BOTHERING YOU,

YOU JUST SHOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING.

[ Singsong voice ] SOMETHING.

[ Normal voice ] OR NOTHING.

LOOK, I LOVE YOU,

BUT EVER SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH THIS DIVORCE,

YOU'VE BEEN OVER...A LOT.

ALL THE TIME.

AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

AT HOME.

AND I'M HERE FOR YOU WHENEVER YOU NEED ME.

BUT CALL FIRST.

I'M SORRY.

I UNDERSTAND.

MY LITTLE MAN'S GROWING UP.

[ CHUCKLES ] WELL, HE'S NOT THAT GROWN UP.

HE'S, LIKE... BELOW MY STERNUM.

IF YOU NEED ME, I'M JUST A CALL AWAY.

MAMA, YOU WANT TO STAY FOR DINNER?

NO!

NO?

THAT'S OKAY, BABY.

MAMA, Y‐Y‐YOU NOT MAD, ARE YOU?

NO. I'M FINE. LOVE YOU.

[ DOOR CLOSES ] LOVE YOU.

YEAH, SHE'S REAL MAD.

SAM, STOP.

BRING BACK THE BOX.