Original subtitles

The Skin

Looks like a radio tower up there.

I don't like this. It's kind of spooky.

I can't see anything, just grapes.

Yeah, there might be Krauts hidden in there.

I sure hope they haven't got any artillery up there.

Damn it! A good place for a sniper.

You know what? We're sitting ducks here.

This damn trip is taking forever.

Maybe it'd be better if we went home, Mark.

If the Krauts knew they had the head of the Fifth Battalion

buzzing around their...

Yes, I know there could be spies. Relax, Bob.

The Italians are a great people, but they made one fatal mistake.

They chose the wrong side.

Now, what made you people do such a damn fool thing?

Bad judgement...

Well, no matter. You're on the right side now.

Mark Cork's Fifth Battalion will be in Rome

before Christmas. I'd bet on that.

I'm sure you won't find any takers, General.

Did you know that no one in all of history

ever conquered Rome from the south?

Mother! Mother!

Cyrus!

Captain, there's something fishy here, and it isn't the Bay of Naples.

- I can hear a waltz. - What the hell are you talking about?

A waltz, you know, music... A waltz!

Wait a minute.

Hold it! Hold it!

Captain, I want you to go up that side of the street.

Sergeant, take 10 men and go up those stairs!

- Lets go! - I want to know

what the hell is going on here!

Sergeant, I want you to take some men

and go up other side of that street. And watch out for booby traps.

Do you believe this?

It could be a trap, Captain.

Okay, If anybody makes a false move,

I want you to blow their fucking head off.

Let's go!

What handsome boys! The vitamin A has arrived!

- Why "A"? - For American!

Hey, you, come over here! Move!

Yes, you! Hurry up!

Where the hell are the Germans?

He says they cleared out a few days ago, sir.

The Fascists? Where are the Fascists?

He says that there aren't any Fascists here, just anti-Fascists.

Well, tell him I want to know where the enemy is right now!

I think we have a princess on our hands, sir.

- Well, what do I say? - Say...

I think you should call the base, sir.

Ah, yes...

- And what should I tell them? - Say that...

Say that we've taken Capri.

Eagle HQ...

Operation Peanut is complete.

Today, the United States Fifth Battalion and the Allied Forces

have occupied the Gulf of Naples.

Just one further step towards our goal:

the complete liberation of Italy.

When do you expect to be in Rome, sir?

I'm not making any predictions,

but if the Germans put up any resistance,

they'll be sorry. And you can print that.

I'd like to ask Captain Malaparte a question, if I may.

Captain Malaparte? Go right ahead, soldier

but remember, it's his house.

Captain Malaparte, how do you reconcile your alliance

with the U.S. Fifth Battalion with the fact that

20 years ago, you joined the Fascist Party?

I believe it was 20 years ago that Winston Churchill

said during a visit to Italy:

"If I were Italian, I'd join join the Fascist Party."

I was Italian.

I might add that Captain Malaparte

spent a good portion of those years in Fascist prisons

and don't forget to print that. Any more questions?

Yes, sir.

General Alexander says that the British Army is...

That's it, gentlemen. 'll see you all in Naples.

All right, boys. Take your pictures.

Make it fast now.

All right, that's enough. Everyone out. Hold it there, soldier.

- Sir? - Let me see that.

The left side. Only on the left side.

What a beautiful home you have here, Malaparte.

My house is yours, General.

It's a bit far from the front, sadly.

Fronts move, the offer remains.

Thank you.

Good day.

My guest, General Mark Cork...

- Princess Consuelo Caracciolo. - Enchanted.

They say that in Naples your word is law.

- Do you know Naples, General? - No, madam.

But I expect to soon enough.

It's the oldest city in Europe.

What the princess is trying to say is that you must be patient...

if there are some things you do not understand immediately.

Very well...

- What a lovely dog! - His name is Febo.

Mine is named Pal. I found him in Northern Africa.

I nearly ran him over with a jeep.

I found him in Russia. He had been injured by the Germans.

Watch... Febo, Heil Hitler!

Be a good boy, Febo. So long.

- Will you return to Capri soon? - We'll see, Vicenzo, we'll see. Good luck.

Take my luggage to the palace.

Be good, Febo!

Look how pretty they are.

- The girls are lovely. - And what do you want?

Is there a problem? It's too early.

Go home, handsome.

Let's go.

- Poggioreale! - Poggioreale!

- Was there a massacre? - Where have you been?

There are massacres every day.

Typhus, famine, infection... there's a bit of everything.

Death has quite an imagination. I'm here all week.

Rich or poor, the funeral is free.

Are we or are we not a democracy?

What, all week? That's bullshit.

You haven't been here for 15 days.

There are only three trucks in Naples for everybody.

Weeks are now 15 days long, ma'am.

You have no respect for the dead.

What's that? No respect for the dead?

Do you expect us to carry them on our backs?

- We can't say a thing. - I told you, we only have three wagons.

Make them walk.

We've been looking at corpses for years, we can't do it anymore.

Make them walk to the cemetery.

- Of course, on foot. - Let's go.

On foot. Let's keep going.

Hello good Christians!

You can't come in here, it's off limits.

This is a restricted area, you can't come in here.

- You know, off limits. - What does off limits mean?

I don't know. Must be American slang.

Off limits.

This crap is always getting worse.

- Hello Concetta. - Look, there goes the Big Cheese

on the way to the bank.

So that's the one, huh?

Ah, my dear Mr. Eduardo. Come in!

No, closed, please, closed!

- Excuse me.

Hey...

I hear them wop pussies got spaghetti

growing around them. - Yeah, and some tomato sauce!

- Did you slip her some linguini? - Did you take it with oil and garlic?

It's closed, closed, it's over!

Hey Joe! C'mon, boys behave.

C'mon sweet, a kiss...

Ah, I understand. And how many are with you?

There are two, but they eat for six. They're right here.

Let me call her. Rosaria!

Rosaria! Rosaria. Rosaria.

- I'm over here! - Where is Rosaria?

- I'm here! - Rosaria!

- Here! - Rosaria, come here.

Since you know how to speak English

tell them to leave in ten minutes.

- I have some things to take care of. - Alright.

Come here, Eduardo.

Listen! Ten minute closed!

Ok? Ten minute closed. We're closing boys.

- Keep calm. - We're going to tear this place apart!

Hey! Shut up, shut up!

Listen, behave yourselves

or we'll kick you out like we did with the Germans, alright?

And it's going to be in two days, not four.

- Two days, alright? - Alright, alright.

Hey big mother, come down here. I got something for you.

Shush girl.

I'll have something special for you later.

- How much? - How much do you weigh?

The hat, take off the hat. How much is it?

Sixty-five kilos, you see?

That's it? You said they ate for six.

My god, Mr. Eduardo, have a little patience!

Kommen Sie! You two.

Come on, let's go.

Look at those two. They eat for six.

- But this one hardly eats anything - Doesn't want to eat?

While the residents of Naples die of hunger

he refuses to eat. Why are you refusing your pasta?

- Stomach, nicht gut, - How fresh.

Make a tagliatelle, I brought flour.

But how, when I don't know how to make tagliatelle?

Look at how your friends are nice and plump

and you're a stick. Eat, you hear me?

Eat, imagine your life depended on it.

Eat, eat.

Come on, hurry. Get in line. Move it.

Come on, let's go, let's go.

Hey, spaghetti-eater, let's get a move on.

- Let's go! Let's go! That's it. - Let's go, hurry, hurry!

Button that up. C'mon greaseball. Let's go.

C'mon, wophead. These are perfect.

Right, that's yours.

That's perfect. Don't be so goddamned choosy.

This one's got spaghetti already in the pocket.

- This has a bloodstain. - Oh a little stain, does it?

- There ya go, ginzo. Move it! Keep going! - Don't just stand there!

- Move it, let's go! - Perfect pants for you!

Come on, there's nothing wrong with that!

Let's go! Let's go.

Hurry up!

Attention!

Attention!

Order them to rest, Sergeant.

Rest.

Boys, sadly I have to leave you.

I've recieved other orders. Captain Palese

will take charge of the company.

And he wants to have a word with you.

Please.

Soldiers...

We're the first liberation unit of Italy.

We are soldiers of a new Italy.

Our aim is to fight the Germans and expel them from Italian soil.

We must take our flag and lift it high as an example

to all Italians. We will banish

the terrible shame that dominates the Italian people

and prove that we are worthy of the great role

that History has handed us.

Do you all understand what he's saying?

- You, come here - Me?

Yes, you.

Alright, repeat what the Captain said.

He says that... we have to prove

that we're worthy of the shame of Italy.

I think he understood quite well. Go back to your spot.

This is the Allied Armed Forces Radio in Europe.

That was Glenn Miller and his orchestra

transmitting directly from the Palladium

in Hollywood, California, USA.

Worried about syphilis? Venereal diseases...

can be more destructive than war.

But thanks to penicillin...

Hey Goldberg, did you hear that?

Glenn Miller is playing live 7,000 miles away...

How come you're not worried about getting the syph?

Did you really lay that Countess, Jimmy?

I already told you, Goldberg.

Well, so tell me again. It's like listening to Glenn Miller.

It just keeps getting better.

- Did she go down on you? - Listen, in Europe, that's normal.

Get it through your head...

European women are different.

Listen Goldberg, instead of lying around here jacking to those magazines...

for three lousy bucks, you can get anything you want.

Are you crazy?

Every nigger this side of the Atlantic...

has been in them wop broads.

You forget them movies about what happens

to your pecker if you get the clap?

It's better than going blind, Goldberg.

Ah...where did you hear that?

How many fingers am I holding up? You see? You're already blind, Goldberg.

Christ!

FIFTH BATTALION GENERAL HEADQUARTERS

Good day, General.

Captain Wren for the General's communications conference.

There are already two conferences back there, Captain.

I'm afraid you'll have to wait.

Good day, General.

No, not now.

Gentlemen, first the good news.

I've just talked with Alexander

and he agrees that the British Eighth Batallion

will cede to their "American cousins", as they like to call us,

and Mark Cork's Fifth Batallion will be the first to enter Rome!

- Great! - Excellent!

Now, the bad news.

I don't believe a godamn word of it.

Half of his army are pansies, and the other half

thinks that Americans are damn fools

and he's right in the middle of that. This could be as tricky as it gets.

The Fifth American Batallion was the first

to get a foothold on the European continent

and you can bet that no one, including Mr. Churchill and his gang

is going to screw this man's army

out of being the first to enter Rome!

It's a matter of principle!

Sir, General Eisenhower. It's the third time.

Bob...

Carry on, gentlemen.

Must be earth-shattering to get him up this damn early in Washington.

We'll soon find out.

Hello?

Hello, sir...

How is Italy, sir? Oh, Italy is fine.

Sir, what are you trying to say?

What?

Which senator's wife?

From Massachusetts?

Here?

Ike for Christsake, we're fighting a war

there's no time for this damn women's... lke...Not even if it's the President's wife...

No...

I'm trying to tell you that we're up to a...

I'm sorry, but what I'm trying to say...

Yes, Mr. President.

Please excuse me, Sir, but I meant what I said...

I advise against it strongly.

I understand your position, Sir

and, under these circumstances, I'll do my very best.

Mr. President, you can depend on me.

Thank you, Sir.

A godamn trick, that's what it is.

...to rob Mark Cork and his Fifth Battalion of their glory.

Massachussets. That's Senator Wyatt, isn't it?

Yes, the senator that fools all of the people all of the time.

Wyatt...yes...what do you make of it?

Well, nothing, except his wife is Deborah Wyatt.

- Exactly. - Of course, an aviator.

She was the first to cross the Pacific solo in '39.

The first woman...

...which makes it some kind of giant publicity stunt.

That's what it is.

They just made her a colonel in the Air Force...

...and she comes up with this crazy idea of supplying food by airlift

and it seems that the President is interested in it as well.

- Christ! - A bunch of bullshit.

Elections are next year and you know exactly what the President

is interested in... winning votes.

- How's it going? - Alright.

- What are you doing tonight? - Sit, please...

- Good day. - Good day.

I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait, Captain. Be patient.

Thank you.

Hey, aren't you the one from the press conference in Capri?

Yes.

- You have a beautiful home there. - Thank you.

- Go ask, go on. - Those two? Let's see.

- Mr. Mazzullo. - Sit down.

- Sit down, please. - Alright.

- Fine. - Wait, please.

- What'd she say? - She told me to sit.

So go sit.

- What's next, Lieutenant? - A meeting with the representative

of the Comittee for Civilian Necessities.

- That'd be the German prisoners, Sir. - And then?

A meeting about the front. That'd be six minutes from now, Sir.

The one responsible for civilian needs...what's his name?

Eduardo Mezzullo.

- Let's take them all at once. - Yes, Sir.

Mr. Mezzullo? Captain Malaparte? Captain Wren?

- Mr. Mezzullo... - Mazzullo, Mazzullo.

- They tell me, Mr. Mezzullo... - Ma...ma...ma.

Ma-zul-lo, Ma-zul-lo.

I understand you have a certain number of prisoners...

- of German prisoners... - 273, Mr. General. 273...

That you captured when the Germans mounted a retreat...

Mounted a what?

He said that you caught those Germans when they were retreating.

No, Mr. General. They were imprisoned by the Italian people

when they fought in Naples.

There was a great insurrection that lasted four days

with injuries and casualties...

Believe me, we suffered, Mr. General.

Yes, yes, I understand, Mr. Mezzullo.

My name is Mazzulo. Ma...Ma

Look, I wonder if we can get to the heart of the matter, if you don't mind.

You've been feeding and caring for those prisoners for weeks, right?

I understand that it must be a terrible burden on you...

with the price of food rising like it has.

And, naturally, you have the right to, shall we say, recompense.

Care to explain, Captain?

- You'll be compensated. - Yes, I understand.

The Fifth American Battalion is prepared to pay...

a thousand lires for every person...

You're a very kind man, Mr. General. I'm grateful.

But the price has changed now. We do the price by weight.

100 lires per kilo.

What?

It's 100 lires per kilo.

So a man who weighs 80 kilos would cost 8 thousand lires!?

Ah, these days it's rare to find someone who weighs 80 kilos.

Captain Malaparte, tell him that he's crazy.

- The General is a serious man. - Who are you?

Now you listen to me... Mr. Whatever your name is...

you have 24 hours to accept my offer.

After that, you'll deal with the military police.

And I assure you that with their bare hands

they'll root out every one of your 270 prisoners.

It's 273!

Alright, we'll see. Let's go.

He's a serious man, this keeper of German prisoners.

So am ll.

The US government does not fool around with

the Geneva Convention rules regarding prisoners of war!

I'm going to take them by force.

You can hide everyone in Italy in the caverns of Naples...

and never find them.

In that case, I'll just have him shot.

If you do, you'll never see those prisoners.

Why don't you let me handle this?

And you, Captain? What's your role in all of this?

Me, sir? I'm here for the communications conference.

Ah, the communcations. That's what we need around here.

Alright, Malaparte, you've got yourself a job.

- You'll go with the Captain. - But ...

What?

Nothing, Sir.

Damned Italians.

I'm Jimmy Wren.

Is this where we'll find Mr. Eduardo?

You don't find Mr. Eduardo. He finds you.

What are they arguing about?

Well, you know, the price of human flesh...

is below that for beef or pork.

A week ago, you could geta 20 year old girl for 10 dollars.

Now she'd be worth no more than four ... bones and all.

The Sicilian girls flooded the market.

They're older, so they cost less.

You know, we have a saying in Cleveland: "From behind they're all the same”.

- All of 'em except your sister, huh Jimmy? - I don't have a sister.

Though if I did, what would that have to do with anything?

Lovely, lovely American boy.

Lovely, come with me. I like you...

come, come, What lovely skin.

Come with me.

- No, thank you. - Come!

If you don't want to then don't! Go eat shit, you idiot!

- Looks like you're having luck. - Yup, some luck.

- We have something to see now. - Hey, it's five dollars!

Did you see what they did when they went by?

Come on, you have to see it to believe it.

See that? They're blonde everywhere.

What sort of Sicilians are they?

Jimmy, you think those soldiers feel like war heroes

when those women from Naples spread their legs for them?

Well, they probably feel the same thing I do.

- Which is... - I don't know.

I feel like I'm seeing Europe.

- Let's go. - Where to?

To Italy.

Good day.

- So what happened? - Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing? He's an American officer.

Yes, he's interested in Italian artistry.

- Show him what you make. - Italian artistry?

He's not interested...

Yes, yes. Are you interested?

- Yes. - Do you like what we do?

Put on the wig.

- No, you go. - Not me.

- My god! - You'll see.

Not you! Where are you going? Stay here!

What are you thinking about? Stay right here.

You're going to show off for that man.

Go on.

- What's going on? - Wait there...

Oh god, you have to be patient.

Are you sure the boy came to look at Italian art?

- Tell him I'm poor.

- He's a good man.

- A good man. - An artist,

I was a tailor, but these days...

It's ready.

What's this?

- What we did, it's wrong. - Explain it to him.,

Black soldiers like blonde women.

In Naples, it's hard to find blonde women...

We made that up.

Black soldiers like blonde girls...

In Naples, it's hard to find blond women.

- I want one. - Oh, you want one?

- Yes, how much is it? - Ten dollars.

- Is he going to pay for that? - No, no, seven...seven!

No, ten dollars! You have to be very patient.

It's a lot of work, that's for sure. A lot of work.

OK, OK, ten dollars.

A lot of patience.

This is crazy!

Jimmy, if the Americans had lost the war...

do you think the women in New York would be that creative?

They don't have to be. In New York there are enough blondes for everybody.

Upstairs.

Come in.

- Shall we go? - Where?

Mr. Eduardo has found us.

What's going on?

- What are they doing? - Leave it alone.

How did they get that tank?

- You'll see... - It's one of ours...

- Later... - It's property of the army...

Perhaps Mr. Eduardo will explain.

Good day. Wait a moment.

I don't see why I should be interested.

Atank, what am I going to do with that?

- Want a cigarette? - No, thanks.

- It's American. Authentic. - I don't smoke.

- No? Want one? - Yes, thank you.

The war's over, you know...

- Metal, metal. Lots of metal. - Ten tons of old iron.

Yes, metal.

- A cannon, a big cannon! - Yes, I know

but the cannon is just old metal.. What am I supposed to do with a cannon?

The war is over.

- A transmitter radio... - A radio.

Did the General agree to this? Does he know?

Does he know? Don't kid around, don't kid around.

I bet that this entire circus is...

to convince us to accept his conditions.

Why? Aren't you convinced?

Did you hear what that cocksucker offered for a new Sherman tank?

- I heard, I heard... - We did the right thing!

And believe me, he isn't the only wop in Naples.

We'll find someone else and get ten thousand for that...

God damn it!

Mother fuckers!

Good day.

- So then... - Very well.

- We accept your conditions. - Very good, my boy.

You've done well, I'm happy.

Until tomorrow, we need the General's authorization.

Of course, and tell the General to hurry...

because the price goes up every day.

Better said, every hour.

He wants to raise the price...

But that's not fair!

He can't raise the price, we had an agreement!

What is he saying?

- That everything's fine. - Great.

I'm satisfied. Well done boys.

- Charismatic, isn't he? - Ok, Jimmy.

- Alright, it's set. - Yeah.

You know, that looks like a girl

- that I knew in Atlanta. - Let me see, let me see.

You know, there's a name for that... pussy wig.

It's called a merkin. M-E-R-K-|-N.

- Shit is is! - You don't believe me?

- No, I don't. - He doesn't believe me!

İf anyone knows, it's Goldberg.

- He's an expert. - Easy, sailor.

Come on, relax.

Soldier! Soldier, calm down or you're headed to the pen.

- Get your motherfucking hands off her! - The hell I will!

Well, there they go again.

What the hell did we order?

Oxtail stew.

A speciality from the south.

Looks to me like they gave me the part the tail was attached to.

I'll admit it's not hummingbird hearts with truffles.

I mean look, what are we putting in our stomachs?

The part the ox used to clean its ass

dragged through grease that's like it came out of a crankcase,

seasoned with the waiter's bad breath.

Colonel, I don't think we all agree.

It's wartime and, in Naples...

good ingredients aren't always easy to come buy.

See? What did I say?

I'm not eating any more of this dago food. No offense, Captain.

No, I don't blame you. I had a terrible time eating mine.

I adore the subtle flavors of oxtail made with nutmeg,

celery, white wine...

but my first bite of this...

was unpleasantly sweet, covered with foul tasting skin...

I took a good look at the plate and what I saw wasn't oxtail,

but the first rule of good manners...

is to never never distrurb the joy of others...

So, I ate it, thinking: "My god...

look what these shortages have caused... First, a finger...

then a thumb, and then, yes an entire human hand!

Look!

In spite of my good manners, I wasn't able to eat the nails.

- Let's go have some coffee. - That's pretty good, how'd you do that?

İt wasn't easy, I can assure you...

Three coffees.

Malaparte, you're a genius! The way you arranged those bones...

I never even saw you move. How the hell did you do the nails?

Jimmy, do you think I lied?

- Oh, god! - What? Oh, shit!

Hey, paisan, you got ID?

Hey, easy soldier. This man is an officer of the Italian military.

What's the matter, Captain? The Italian Army run out of uniforms?

Forgive me, sir. We're just doing our job.

They sent us a message over the radio to take him.

You're making a mistake!

- Jimmy! - Listen, Anna.

Come here.

Buy me a drink?

Oh...sure... Two whiskeys.

I know these Yankee bluebloods like the back of my hand.

And Deborah Wyatt doesn't like men like me...

men who worked their way up from the bottom...

and she likes Italians even less.

Of course I'll do everything I can.

But if she thinks so lowly of Italians...

Ah, but you're different.

You know the Pope and that damn fool Picasso...

- And...Ice? - No.

And you can talk about Maxim's in Paris...

and who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

Those Bostons-came-over-on-the- Mayflower types get a thrill out of that.

I've only met His Holiness twice, General.

I know, I know, I know...

But I was thinking...

I would like to throw a fancy dinner for her,

Renaissance style, you know, in...

in some sort of old palace, with servants

in powdered wigs and white gloves. What do you think?

Not bad. Palazzo Toledo can be arranged.

- Great, and then... - And then it's up to me.

Exactly! Keep her out of my hair,

keep her away from me,

- keep her far away... - Yes, I understand.

Oops.

Having some fun with that dog.

He's incredible. Very good, Febo!

Fetch!

Splendid. Very good.

- Very good, Maria. - Thank you sir. Bon apettite.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Marvellous, isn't it?

Careful, that's a strong aphrodisiac.

You're scaring me.

So...?

Dear, I don't feel a thing.

Wait. This is the danger.

The effect kicks in when you least expect it.

You know, I'm discovering America.

What surprising people. They're clean and crystalline.

They believe that Christ is always on the side of the winner.

- May I say something? - Yes.

I'm starting to feel the effect.

Are you joking?

- Is it strong? - Yes, I can't take it anymore.

It's been so long, Curzio!

You're the only person that calls me Curzio.

Watch it, she's coming this way.

Is she crazy? My god!

- My god, that woman is crazy! - She's nothing but trouble!

Don't tell me she flew that plane all the way from Washington.

Sicily, but I don't doubt she'd manage it.

She had her wings before she sprouted tits.

- Ma'am... - Thank you.

I'm General Howes, General Cork's deputy.

Major Beckwith, General Cork's assistant.

The General would love to be here personally, ma'am,

but duty calls.

At least someone's fighting this war.

This is Captain Malaparte, our liason with the Italians.

It's difficult to tell...

I hope to be useful to your mission, Coronel Wyatt.

General Cork has briefed me.

General Cork has directed Captain Malaparte

to help you, Mrs. Wyatt.

Obviously, you'll have to coordinate with the local population

and Malaparte is your man.

He has a fabulous villa in Capri.

So what did you do in peace time?

I was far too young to remember.

Before this, it was Spain. Before that, Abyssinia.

You should have come to America. Our Italians fare much better.

You're right, but there were already too many organ grinders.

Are you making fun of me, Captain?

No, on the contrary, I admire your self-assurance.

You're everything we're not.

You think so?

Get away from me. I said leave me alone.

- Don't touch me. - Move along! Move out!

- Come on, let's go, come on! - Out, come on, let's go!

I'd like to help with your Moroccan troops, General, but I'm afraid I can't.

But my dear General, this is an unprecedented shame!

Incredible, a scandal!

My men are, how shall I say, hypersexual.

Yes, they were born that way. They'll stick it in anything...

in a sunflower, to be precise.

A sunflower is enough for them.

The point is, General, that depriving my troops of penicillin

IS a crime!

Syphilis is destroying their... combat strength.

Yes, one penis after another.

General, Guillaume, every month

I receive a limited supply of penicillin from America.

And what do you think my priority should be?

To save a sodomite who likes sunflowers...

or a wounded American?

- Now please excuse me. - General Cork...

it's Colonel Eliot, sir. He says it's urgent.

Be quick about it, Colonel. We're at war.

What?

No, no, that makes no sense. Let's start over from the beginning.

Right, first we want a creamy soup.

But our soup is creamy, like mud.

Tomato soup? Yes, I think that's alright.

And don't forget the bleach.

I don't know, it looks like we'll have to look after her stomach.

Anything else?

But why aren't there any fresh fish in Naples?

Colonel, you don't have to remind me I prohibited fishing.

The Bay of Naples is mined from here to Sicily.

But when Mark Cork gives a Renaissance dinner the second dish will be...

boiled fish with mayonnaise, do you hear me?

How the hell should I know?

Try the aquarium.

Soldier.

Boiled fish with mayonnaise. Jesus Christ!

You think she'll like it?

- Beats me. - I sure hope Malaparte is right.

- How much is it? - Ten lira.

Thank you.

Yes, understood.

Al right.

Thank you.

God, a real Renaissance banquet

in the middle of World War II.

Thanks to my modest contribution, we should be able to avoid

the inevitable canned pineapple in that disgusting syrup.

Oh, crap! What the hell are you doing, Sergeant?

Sorry about that Captain, but Corporal Prewitt over there

got a sudden case of Mussolini's Revenge.

And I do mean sudden !

All right. Carry on, Sergeant. But goddammit, pull over!

Damn it!

Stop! It's mined! They're gonna get themselves killed!

Oh, Jesus, Prewitt!

Let me look at him.

- Are you a medic? - No, I'm not a medic.

Then keep your wop hands off him!

Give me something to cover him with.

What's all this wasting time, Captain?

- We gotta get that boy to the hospital! - I've seen many cases like this.

If we move him, he'll die an agonizing death before we reach the hospital.

If we make him comfortable here, the pain will subside.

- He'll die in his sleep. - Like a dog!

- Shut up, Sergeant! - Go find a medic, Jimmy.

Bring morphine. I'll take full responsibility.

Him? He's Italian!

That's an American soldier lying over there, Captain!

Now you listen to me, Sergeant!

This man is a Captain with more experience than either of us.

We're going to do what he says.

I'm placing you in his command.

And I'm taking full responsibility!

We have to distract him.

Anything to keep him from realizing he's dying.

It's the only thing we can do.

Listen greaseball, if you're wrong about this

if that medic doesn't bail you out

I'm gonna tear out your yellow-livered insides, just like that boy over there.

You got it?

C'mon, Prewitt, you lucky bastard. You're going home.

Just wet his lips.

You know, I always figured you for a goldbricker, Prewitt

but this takes the cake.

That ambulance is gonne be here in a few minutes.

A few days of pretty nurses bending over

with their tits all over you

and then you're on a plane headed back to the good ol' U.S. of A.

Ain't that right, Kaminsky?

Keep talking, Sergeant.

Look at this greaseball over here.

He's stuck in this fucking guinea country.

- Eh, goombah! - Chewing gum!

- Guido! - Yankee Dollar!

Hey, fag!

Hey, C'mon Prewitt. C'mon, cut that out.

Hey, you wanna see the greaseball do a Mussolini impression?

C'mon, show him how you can do Mussolini.

Italian men!

Italian women!

For twenty centuries...

I can't...I can't do anymore.

Snap out of it Prewitt.

What are you doing here? Don't you know it's forbidden?

It's a minefield. Get out of here!

Go!

Get that little slut outta here.

Go...go!

Would you tell that slut in wop talk to get the fuck out of here!

- Beat it, cunt!

- Enough!

Did you come here to fight Germans or to insult Italians?

You're killing us.

Move back! Move back!

- Keep going. Move! - You lucky bastard. The medic's here!

A gut shot. He didn't have a chance.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Pasqualino! Pasqualino! - No!

No!

- What's her name? - Maria Concetta.

Before we continue with this simple meal

I'd like to say, Mrs. Wyatt, on behalf of all of us

that we owe you a debt of grattitude.

Your presence at this table tonight

serves as a reminder that we must win this war as soon as possible

so we can all return to the women we have left behind.

Mrs. Wyatt, it's a pleasure to have you with us.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

This place is magnificent. Who does it belong to?

The princess of Toledo.

Captain Malaparte knows all the princesses in Europe.

- Isn't that right Captain? - Not all of them, thank god.

But Captain, you must surely know

Princess Carmela Esposito.

She was my dearest classmate at Radcliffe.

- Esposito? - Princess Carmela Esposito.

Princess Carmela Esposito, Mrs. Wyatt, is an imposter.

- I beg your pardon? - There is no Princess Esposito.

"Esposito" is a name given to children

left on the doorsteps of foundling homes.

Sadly, there are more Espositos in Naples these days than ever.

Well, all I know is that my friend

Princess Carmela Esposito lives in a palace in Rome.

Our State Department tells me

she has always been anti-Fascist, and I intend to visit her when I get there.

If she's always been anti-Fascist, I'd say that that's further proof

that she's not a princess.

Well, if what you say is true, Captain

then I and many other people in Cambridge

have been greatly decieved

which doesn't reflect well on the Italian people.

In Philadelphia, our Italian community is among the finest we have.

All right, Chaplain, all right...

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to bring your attention

the next item on our menu.

Boiled fish with mayonnaise.

Colonel Elliot has been responsible for the acquisition of this treat

and the good Colonel tells me that this toothsome delicacy is called

...Si...rena.

- Do you know it, Captain? - Oh, yes. I know it very well.

Sirena. The mermaid of Naples. It's extremely rare.

But I've seen it several times.

- Where? - At the aquarium.

You can't be referring to Siren,

the temptress of Homer's Odyssey?

Fallen, low, poor things. It's just an ordinary fish in our times.

There's no such things as mermaids.

My god, it's a baby! A cooked baby!

We have to bury it!

Cover it up! Cover it up!

I assure you, it's an edible fish, General.

It's a fish, General.

- It's a fish! - believe it. Eh...It's a fish!

İt don't care what they say, Father. My god!

- Well, in Philadelphia... - Gentlemen, sit, please.

Please, Mrs. Wyatt...

Now, the Good Lord knows what Mark Cork thinks

of boiled fish and mayonnaise.

But, then, I don't like war either.

However, someone has to take command.

Serve it!

I knew all along it was a fish!

Thank you.

- Here. - Don't let anyone see, all right?

- Here, take it. - We only got it today.

That's absurd!

Let me go! Let me go!

Let me go! Bastard!

Jean Louis!

My mother told me I'd find you in Capri.

So what are you doing in this corner of the world?

It's my duty to come here for the revolution.

Ah yes, I had forgotten about Count Marx.

And I had forgotten how deep your cynicism runs.

Yours and that of your entire generation.

Come Jean Louis, you wouldn't be a student of Marx

if his blood wasn't much bluer than yours.

And where is it written that you have to be a proletariat in order to fight for justice?

You don't understand the youth of today.

You can't imagine how different they are.

You wouldn't recognize the world that will come out of this world.

The imperialists and their lackeys will be defeated.

Hey, Malaparte, Jimmy sent me to tell you he can't make it.

He was supposed to bring me a medic. Anything wrong?

No, no. Something came up.

He wants you to cover for him. We have to go.

Goodbye.

Hold it a second.

- Hey baby. How much do you charge? - Let go of me! Fuck off.

- That's what I'm asking about. - Go eat shit.

Al right.

- So what are you doing right now? - Nothing, nothing.

There's some boys that need a medic.

- Come with me. - I didn't finish my studies.

If you don't say anything then I won't either, okay?

Come.

Jimmy!

I thought you weren't coming.

We have to make a stop along the way.

Pasqualino's coming too.

Let's go!

As you can see, the interior of Vesuvius is hardly asleep.

And, by examining the seismographs, we can see that

activity has increased in recent weeks.

- Does that happen often? - Absolutely not.

This is the first time I've seen this phenomenon.

- Strange... - Yes.

Maria, we should...

Excuse me, one moment.

Maria! Where are you going? What about the picnic?

Tell my father we're going to see the nuns.

- What? - My father.

Don't tell him I was with you.

Wait, wait. 'll take you.

- No, we're going to take the tram. - When will we meet up?

In two days. In the same place as always.

Will you think about me?

I will.

I'd love to show you the youth of today.

You can't imagine how different they are.

They're better. They have revolution in their blood.

If only Trotsky and Lenin had known that.

Trotsky was a filthy traitor.

Imagine what your mother would say if she heard you talk that way

about someone you never met, and someone who has passed away, at that.

Mouth.

Sir, [ want to go to Munich.

What for? There's food here.

Doctor, my head hurts. Do you have something?

No, I'm very sorry. I don't have anything.

The Geneva Convention, prisioner.

The gentlemen will say that they're in good health.

- There's nothing to complain about. - This prisoner has appealed

- to the Geneva Convention. - He's got no case at all.

That idiot refuses to eat. He's skin and bones.

I lost money on this one.

But the price of the others went up 200 liras, right?

Mr. Eduardo, it's going to be hard to win the war this way.

Win or lose, I refuse to be trampled on.

No, absolutely not! Understand?

No, no.

They're too fat, too ugly! Too German!

On top of that, they're too goddamn expensive! Am I making myself clear?

- It's unthinkable. - Alright, I understand.

There's no need to shout. Fat is always useful.

We'll make soap out of them. Come, let's go.

They're going to turn these prisoners into soap...

Never mind that. Take a look at this.

"Queen of the Skies."

Queen of publicity hound is what she is.

- How do you like that? - Well, she's photogenic.

What did you say? That they'll turn the prisoners into soap?

There's a shortage.

Soap sells for more than 200 lira a kilo.

And God knows the Neapolitans need it.

- You must be joking. - No, General.

You're not hard to find.

Is it true what the newspapers say? That you never drive a car?

I never have to.

I thought I'd come round to see how I could help you.

As a liason officer.

Well, that should do it.

Now for the test. Care to come along?

Yes, with pleasure, but what was the problem?

Nothing much. Old age, I guess.

The damn motor was hanging by a thread when I got here.

But it ought to hold now.

Hope it fits!

Enough, enough!

General Cork sent you, didn't he, my Latin lover?

Enough!

- Didn't he? - Yes, yes! Enough!

I'm sorry. [ was cruel. I apologize.

Everyone is cruel sometimes.

Hey handsome, come here. Let's go have some fun.

Get away, you filth! Despicable animal!

Scum! Pervert!

How could they do it?

My God, how could they sell their own children?

They're hungry. It's better to sell them than to eat them.

You're a degenerate. All of Naples is degenerate.

Why did you bring me here?

So I can feel as degenerate as you?

We didn't start this war.

We don't sell our bodies for a pack of cigarettes.

A pack of cigarettes?

Ma'am, what will you give me for that?

This is a pack of cigarettes!

Food for a family of ten. Would you like some, ma'am?

- Here - Thank you.

- I brought you here because... - Because everyone can be cruel.

- Are we even now? - Even.

- Did I do something wrong, Jimmy? - No, no.

Jimmy? What did I do?

It's not my fault if things didn't go well for you today.

What's wrong with you, Jimmy?

- Here. - What's that?

Try it.

Here, like this.

Are you crazy? I already have hair.

Did you bring this filthy thing from the US?

No, not at all. It's from Naples.

- From Naples? - Yes, yes.

Every last hair.

Who gave you this? Where'd you get it, Jimmy?

Where have you been hanging out? Tell me who gave you this.

Jimmy, come here. Come here.

Padron me. Excuse me.

I'd like to... I'm looking for...

- Maria Concetta. - What is it you want?

She has a brother... Pasqualino.

There are thousands of Maria Concettas and Pasqualinos around here.

Wait, maybe he's talking about the virgin.

- Oh, the virgin? - Yes.

Her father doesn't know.

Ah, her father doesn't know.

Wait, I'll come with you. I'll come with you.

- Thank you. - Antonio, you're going?

I'll see if he'll give me a couple dollars.

- Here. - Thanks.

- Wait here, I'll be right back. - Yes.

Straight ahead. Good night!

Come on, we can't stay here.

- He says that... - What does he say?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Jimmy, you can't come here.

Never. My father... the war...

He's crazy.

I brought this for him, see?

- I see. - Yes.

- Pretty, isn't it? - Yes.

But put it away, I can't take it.

My father musn't know.

I have to go. I need to cut it off.

Wait. No, wait, listen...

I wanted to say, Jimmy, that I'm very happy when I'm with you.

- But I have to go. - No, wait.

What a lovely butt. So firm.

It's marvellous.

It's lovely, very lovely.

Come!

Come, yes, like that.

Very good.

Well, usually I start with the wine cellar.

Why don't we go directly to the bedroom?

Did you forget? I already confessed...

- Right, we're even. - This way, please.

- This is a marvellous home, Captain! - Thank you.

Did you buy it or design it yourself?

I bought it, though I designed the landscape.

I congratulate you.

The lady's bath is ready. Will she take it alone?

What did she say?

Well, she wants to know if you're taking your bath alone.

You must forgive Maria. Sometimes she gets confused in her old age.

Poor thing.

It must be difficult for her to keep track of all those communal baths.

No thank you, Maria.

Tell her I won't be swept off my feet

for at least another five minutes, I'm sure.

The lady will take a bath in five minutes, and by herself.

It's from Jean Louis.

- Urgent! - Right.

Don't tell me, it's an invitation to be a guest speaker at an orgy.

You're partially right.

What part? Orgy, guest speaker, or invitation?

The third part.

It's a party for boys only, If you know what I mean.

I can look like a boy. What do you think?

- How is Maria Concetta? - She ran away...

So you didn't get any, huh?

Yes, and you're going blind. You're even wearing glasses.

Well, the doctor says... It's just a little eyestrain.

Are you worried about syphilis?

Well, we don't want to hear that do we?

I'm not the one who has to worry about that.

Perfect! Just perfect!

Yeah, then why are you scratching?

Here we are.

Quiet!

I was waiting for you. Everything all right?

Yes, it's fine.

It's hot.

It's hot.

- Go on, push. - It hurts.

It's too hot.

Ice, get me some ice.

- Not coffee. He wants ice. - lce, [ want ice.

Impossible. Impossible.

I hope it's a girl.

Relax!

Calm down! Calm down! Stop screaming, you'll waste your strength.

Push, come on!

My god, it's a boy!

Look how pretty he is. It's a boy!

Here it is, the pasta. Let's go, let's go!

Look.

Febo! Febo!

Febo!

Didn't I tell you? I'd never been there before.

You knew you would find me here...

Are we even?

- Come with me to Capri. - No.

I believe in my marriage. Even if...

Febo, Palm... Did you find the dogs?

Not yet.

It's my fault.

- You don't seem very worried about it. - You're wrong, Mrs. Wyatt.

What's this gobbledygook about "net weight at dawn"?

What does it mean?

I insisted on that, sir. See, scientifically

dawn is when the human body weighs the least.

And "net" means they'll be weighed without their clothes after they've...

...done their morning business.

I see.

- Mr. Eduardo. - General.

I trust you realize this little transaction

is going to cost the American taxpayers

50,000 dollars in exchange for some 20 tons of enemy blubber.

You don't want to pay?

He doesn't think this price is democratic.

Isn't democratic?

It's a good thing I censor the news around here.

How is it not democratic? Officers and soldiers cost the same thing.

- The same price... - Yes, yes. I understand, I understand.

Ask him, how much would Hitler be?

- What did he say? - He's asking how much Hitler would cost.

Ah, thank you. Hitler...

Tell him that with the Fifth Battalion marching on Rome

the price is falling ever day.

With the Fifth Battalion already in Rome, the price falls everyday.

Yes, I understand.

Sir, the photographers. They're waiting outside.

Ask them to come in.

Is he signing?

Come in gentlemen.

Mr. Eduardo, a group photo.

- This way. - Yes.

- Still looking for Febo? - Yes.

And what about operation "Sky Girl"?

Tonight or never.

- A picture. - All right.

Here we are. Right here. Major Beckwith...

Antonio, come and take a picture. The poor thing's an orphan.

- A mother's a mother, General. - Yes, of course. Here.

Smile for the camera.

Lucia!

Come here, hurry up.

Here come the Americans!

It was pitch black, but I'm sure this was the street.

It's gotta be here!

Why don't you settle for one of them?

Your race is too tall anyway, Jimmy. Take one home with you.

Americans need to be brought back to reasonable proportions.

Do you ever take anything seriously?

Yes.

No, you're like all the other Italians.

- Are you going to help me or not? - No.

Hiya, Shorty. What's up?

Free tonight?

This is it!

Now you wait right there. 'll bring the old man down.

Jimmy, don't go.

I thought you were my friend. Thanks for nothing.

Ciao, Jimmy!

Hey, I'm gonna see Maria. Maria Concetta.

- Jimmy! - We'll play later, okay?

Jimmy, don't go! Jimmy!

Relax, Captain. Get in line like everybody else.

- What's going on? - It's the Virgin of Naples, ain't it?

Virgin my ass! I hear she's even making it with the Lone Ranger's horse!

- How was it? - Save your money.

Put it into war bonds.

I'd stick it anywhere if I could just find a hole.

Jesus, all that unused cunt

and you guys are still whacking off.

Confucius say: "Sweet little pussy grow into plain old twat."

Fuck off!

Out, out, out!

Let's go!

Enough, enough!

Relax...

You wanna fuck her?

Impossible.

You want to be with her?

Impossible! Because I'm her father.

Understand?

Impossible. Impossible!

I'm her father.

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

The Virgin of Naples!

Areal virgin.

You can put a finger in, if you want. It doesn't bite.

It doesn't bite. Try it.

Areal virgin.

Virgin. Stick your finger in.

Touch. Just a finger.

Pulling rank on me, Captain?

Relax!

Happy? Happy? Eh?

What did you do? Are you crazy?

Looks like you just got put out of business, paisan.

What are you doing, bastard?

You bastard! You knew the whole time!

All of you, you're all scum!

Jimmy, we lost the war.

Women and children lost it more than anyone else.

You're pigs! A city full of pigs!

- And what about you? - Shut up!

You go into houses certain you can

buy everything with chocolate and cigarettes.

I loved her!

You loved her? So, what's stopping you?

You're the pig! A pig from Cleveland!

I wanted to marry her!

Isn't that just like you, Clifton?

Always there when I need you.

I won't forget the chastity belt, Cliff ton.

At least I haven't forgotten it until now.

Worried about syphilis?

Venereal diseases can be more ravaging

than war. But, thanks to penicillin...

Yes? Captain, you're almost an hour early.

Hospital?

Yes, I'll be down right away.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you waiting, but...

No, no, I arrived early.

- Are you all right? - Well...

I'm sorry. I really...

Don't worry. Maybe there's still time. C'mon.

- Febo! - I'm awfully sorry you found him here.

We're conducting a study on extreme injuries. Like war wounds.

It is kind of an experiment.

I mean, to learn how to treat battle wounds.

These dogs are strays .

They would have been killed anyway.

Febo...

It's not allowed, but I'll put it to sleep.

It's a sweet, painless sleep.

Why this dreadful silence?

We cut their vocal cords.

Don't worry, Mrs. Wyatt, nothing will fall from the ceiling.

We eat here every day.

It is an honor to have such a young American guest with us.

Thanks.

The U.S. Army has the same stimulating aroma

as a summer rain in the forest.

Maybe it's the wilderness still in you.

And the way the wind's blowing, I'm sure.

It's the only occupying army in the history of Naples

that had the courtesy of knocking

when it came to our doors.

Oh, by the looks of all the rubble

I'm afraid we sometimes knocked a little too hard.

That, my dear, is a negligible detail.

İf one must lose a war, Mrs Wyatt

it is preferable to be conquered by an army

that has good manners, believe me.

The Duchess has yet to recover

from the descent of the barbarians onto Imperial Rome.

I'm not quite old enough to

recall that particular event,

but believe me: The poor and the noble

lost every war since then

regardless of their flag.

And women... Women have no flag.

The real Italian flag does not show three colors

but the male organ. Morality, Honor, Family,

the cult of religion are all there, between the legs.

- My God! - I disagree...

That's a bit too much.

There's only one flag...

this one.

But that is from Savoia.

Listen.

An American airplane.

I'm afraid it's German.

And why don't the Americans fight back?

The Americans are asleep. They rise early.

I heard another noise before. Listen.

There's people at the stairs.

- Let them in. - OK.

Easy. Slowly.

Come in.

She was taken by God.

Let's go out. Nunziatina, Carmela, stay here.

Bring what's needed. Quick.

Let's go into the other room.

No, I'm going to stay.

The hair brush, please.

Brush her hair.

Carmela, take the dress off.

Let's hear the news. Turn on the radio.

The Duchess is calling.

Sirs, please follow me. We are being summoned.

This is the Armed Forces Radio.

We interrupt this program to bring you an important bulletin.

The Mount Vesuvius seismograph has registered

a sudden increase in volcanic activity.

All commanding officers and the PBS must report to their bases

for further instructions.

I repeat, all commanding officers must

report to their bases.

Tonight, when I saw those people...

I have a confession to make.

It isn't easy.

Another time?

Don't be afraid, we're in Italy.

Italy is the land where confession was born.

I've been dishonest, Captain.

Dishonest.

I'm not here to help the civilian population.

No, sir. I'm here...

I'm here to help Senator Wyatt.

The President of the United States, the Women's Air Force...

No, that's a lie too.

I'm here to help myself.

Me, myself, and [!

How? I don't know.

To have my picture in the papers...

Be the first in Rome...

Shit, Malaparte, take me to Capri.

You're laughing at me!

I can't believe it, you're laughing at me!

No, no. I'm laughing at myself.

I didn't understand anything.

The destruction, hunger, violence...

All that for a photo in the papers.

You ignorant son of a bitch!

I hate your attitude, you Latin snob!

Know-it-all! All of you!

Backwards! Scummy! Oily!

Hairy, dark, greasy gigolos!

Wop! Wop!

And you're laughing at me?

You can stick your flag right between your legs,

up your ass!

Get out, get out!

It's unbelievable!

What a disgrace.

Listen, if you take me to the airport, I'll pay.

Stop! Stop!

I'll give you $50 to take me to the airport.

Get In.

What's happening?

What's this?

Vesuvius.

You've got to get dressed. You've got to get out of here!

Where to? This is my home!

No, it is dangerous! You have to leave!

Jimmy! Come, come!

Do you read me, Colonel?

I want every available man in Mark Cork's Fifth Batallion

shaved and in full uniform, helping the civilians.

Preventing panic, putting out fires...

I want them to swallow lava, if they have to.

And I want it all documented! Did you hear me?

Films, photos, radio, the whole works, all right?

Get on it!

They tell me Vesuvius hasn't erupted in 50 years.

This is goddman historic! All right, Bob...

Ok, guys. Right here, in San Sebastiano,

at the base of the volcano...

What are the orders?

All ground and air crews on duty

for civilian rescue, ma'am!

Aren't you afraid?

Fear... the only thing I'm afraid of is human stupidity.

Because, unlike everything else in the world, it knows no bounds.

Oh, how men can be idiots.

Is this the end of the world? What is this?

Don't be afraid. It's nothing. I told you.

Oh my God! It's horrible!

It's hell breaking loose!

I'll close that door. Close it!

Vesuvius is an idiot.

Not Vesuvius, you are the idiot for saying that.

- Turn on the light. - OK.

Don't blaspheme. Vesuvius is God.

- Remember. - Let there be light.

And God wanted that we, despite it all, eat a plate of spaghetti.

Maria?

Maria?

Maria?

Come with me.

Yes.

Stop, stop here.

Hey, have you seen Colonel Wyatt?

They're all out on rescue duty!

Hello, tiger...

Come here, come.

Come, closer. I've been expecting you.

Come make love.

Come, come.

Let's make love, come on.

PBS Air #3, PBS Air #3... I'm in trouble.

I'm taking her down.

Shit!

Come on, come on. Get your fucking asses in the trucks!

Come on, get your wop asses moving!

Easy, easy! There's room for everybody!

Quick!

Women and children first! Hey, you bastard, did you hear me?

Get off! This one's full. All right, Corporal, move out!

Move to the left side. Get over there, you goddamn guinea!

- They're not animals! - Are you American?

- Listen, Sergeant... - You better get in.

I'll wait for the next one.

There aint no more trucks, Ma'am.

We won't be back for a long time.

- But you told them! - Suit yourself, lady.

We're leaving.

C'mon, move. Out of the way!

Hey, stop! Stop!

Hey, gorgeous, wanna come with us?

Get a load of this Guinea's blonde hair, guys.

What do you say, guys? Let's see how blonde she really is.

Let's have a look-see.

- Not bad, eh? - Hey, not bad at all.

You want something? Chocolate? Cigarette?

Ask her if she wants some candy to suck on.

How about eight inches of sugar cane, honey?

Just let me handle it, boys.

What's your name, honey?

I like her...

- Whoa, what a wildcat! - Okay, bitch...

You asked for it.

Hey, Tom, looks like you're not her type, man.

Stop the truck! Get your paws off her, man.

You fucking bitch! You fucking... Let me go! You bitch!

You better get out of here, sister. He means it

Stop the damn truck!

You slut!

Slut!

It's over! It's over!

It's over! It's over!

It's over!

It's over!

It's over! It's over!

It's over!

It's over!

- Jimmy! - Goldberg!

- I was worried about you. - I couldn't find you!

I missed the jeep, then ... l got laid!

It was fantastic, Jimmy.

This is Zelmira, a goddess!

This is Maria Concetta.

Get that stretcher over here.

She needs a transfusion.

Take her to the ambulance right away.

Deborah? Deborah?

Doctor, come here, please.

She's hurt. Do something for her.

I've already examined her.

She's just roughed up a bit. She's in shock.

I have more urgent cases to attend to.

Deborah, come.

Can you walk?

- I don't want to stay here anymore. - I know.

- I want to go home, - You will.

Are we even now?

Yes, very even.

I don't want this here. Take it down to the road.

First Platoon, up!

Everybody in the truck!

All right, let's go! Everybody up!

Hey you, what are you doing? The picnic is over!

Let's look alive! Let's look like the Fifth Battalion!

I want to be proud of you, men.

Lets move!

Come, this is a page of history.

Come on, move!

Get up!

Let's go! It's just a short haul to Rome.

Yes, Sergeant, your platoon too.

Let's go!

The Fifth Battalion marches to Rome.

Captain, it seems we've made it without The Queen of the Skies.

- What happened? - She went back to the America.

Malaparte, you're a genius.

Is this my transport, Colonel?

Yes, General, take your seat here.

General Howes, sit on the other side.

Captain Malaparte, that's your jeep over there.

You too, Captain Wren.

And, General, that's your jeep over there.

Well, sir, that's about it.

Good job, Colonel.

General...I'd like to shake your hand.

Sic iter ad astra!

What?

"Such is the way to the stars."

Well, let's go. Tempus fugit!

Yes, Sir!

This is a page of history!

This is really Rome?

Yes, it's Rome.

I always thought Rome was a city.

Hey, Father, do you know that

some of these ruins are over 2,000 years old?

Yes, but in Philadelphia we have the Liberty Bell.

Malaparte, tomorrow 'll see the Pope.

There's one thing I want to know:

What is his favorite sport?

I don't know. Perhaps now he'll play baseball.

Very good!

Cameras, move forward!

You know, there's something sad about victory.

Everybody goes his own separate way

and nobody knows when they'll meet again.

Sometimes, when they do know, they hide.

Not us, I hope.

Let's set a date to meet

after the war in Capri.

You know, it's all set between Maria Concetta and I.

She's going back to Cleveland with me.

We're going to Capri first.

You don't believe me, do you?

I believe you, Jimmy.

No, you don't believe me. You'll see, I'll be back...

- Malaparte! - General!

What are those monuments over there?

Tombs.

Tombs of the noblest Romans.

Which ones?

That's General Silla's.

That's Cicero's.

That's Julius Caesar's.

- Julius Caesar? - Yes.

And that one?

General, that's where the Roman prostitutes come out at night.

Prostitutes? Don't tell that to the press.

Stinking Germans! Sons of whores!

Hey, Malaparte, what's going on here?

She thinks we're Germans.

Well, tell the lady we're Americans.

Americans! Americans!

Americans!

Take it easy, lady.

Thank you, thank you.

Bob, that Rome sign...

I'd like to keep it for my collection.

This one will be good. Hold on.

Hurray for the Americans!

Marco, look! It's the Americans.

Our liberators!

Look!

Son! My son, my son!

Get these civilians out of here!

Take them away!

No civilians, no civilians! Get back!

Back up! Back up!

Oh, no! Stop! Stop filming!

Cameras on the Fifth Battalion!

Turn that... thing around.

Oh, Jesus!

General, there's been a slight accident, but we're moving on.

Driver, move on.

We better go now.

I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry...We better go.

The ambulance is on its way.

You can go, Jimmy.

You are the winners.

We thank 'Ente Ville Vesuviane in Naples for its gracious cooperation

A special thank you to the inhabitants of

the streets and neighborhoods of Naples

for their spontaneous and warm

cooperation, working in the spirit of

and great respect and sympathy for

a city of history and culture.