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0
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Greetings from Martin's Comedy Movies
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Hey, take it easy will ya!
2
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Hey, who's the big birthday girl, huh?
3
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- Me!
- Oh boy, hey how old are you?
4
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I'm this!
5
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Well call me when you're this, okay.
6
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All right here we go now.
7
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You got it straight, okay?
Hold it there.
8
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Hey, beautiful, beautiful! Okay!
9
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Hey, what happened here?
What's the matter, huh?
10
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Johnny hit me. He don't like me anymore.
11
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:17,577
Oh, I know what you're
goin' through, ya know.
12
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You gave him the best three
months of your life, huh?
13
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Then he left you for a pail and shovel.
14
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What do you see in him, anyway?
What are you in love with?
15
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He's not in your class. He's afraid
of the dark. He wets his pants.
16
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When he eats, he gets food all
over his face. He's a mama's boy.
17
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,929
What are you, in nursery school now?
18
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I guarantee you, by the time
you get to kindergarten,
19
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you'll forget all about him, okay?
20
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Hey, look who's here!
Show time! Bobby Bunny, huh?
21
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Here we go, kids, let's go here.
Bobby Bunny's here...
22
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- What's that?
- Oh, nothing, nothing.
23
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,969
Bobby Bunny just dropped
a few carrots, that's all.
24
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,944
Well, let's go over today's schedule.
25
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,197
It is exactly 6:33.
26
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It is exactly 6:34.
27
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,327
At 7:00, we're meeting with the
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head of the furniture department
regarding inventory.
29
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Postpone the meeting.
Double-check the inventory,
30
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and fire the cleaning staff.
31
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,088
7:20, you will crush the hopes
of the loading dock workers
32
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,173
regarding better working conditions.
33
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,175
Cancel the meeting,
and send out a memorandum
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that the working conditions
at the loading dock
35
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will remain as they have for
the past 35 years.
36
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Mm-hmm.
37
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,184
At 7:30, we'll be meeting
with the accountants
38
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regarding donations and
charitable contributions.
39
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,399
Cancel that meeting,
and cancel my check to Boy's Town.
40
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,235
What time is Scrappleton coming?
41
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:05,114
Uh, 7:50, with the legal
papers you requested.
42
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As soon as you finish with Scrappleton,
we leave for New Dorp, Staten Island
43
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to attend your granddaughter
Allison's wedding.
44
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,249
Well, I hope she's made a better choice
45
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than her mother did!
46
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Jesus! Rose!
47
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,716
How did you talk me into this?
48
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,845
You should use Allison.
She's the one who has to wear it.
49
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:31,349
It's unlucky for the bride to wear
her gown before the wedding day.
50
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,434
How unlucky can she get,
look who she's marrying.
51
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,353
Come on dear,
you shouldn't talk like that.
52
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Julio's a good boy.
Come on, Rose, will ya?
53
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,941
See the guy for what he is.
He belongs to a gang.
54
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It's a good boy's gang.
They help people.
55
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- Ooh, take it easy, will ya?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Where'd I get you?
56
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If I show you where you got me
we'll never get outta here.
57
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,495
All right, hold still.
I've gotta finish this.
58
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,623
You gotta pick up the cake,
and mother will be here soon.
59
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Your mother.
60
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,254
I gotta go to the john.
Monty! Oh, the dress!
61
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,883
- No, you're wonderful.
- Allison, I need the phone.
62
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,719
- I'm in here!
- Come on, get outta there!
63
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,889
- Get off, will ya?
- I am so hung up on you.
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Good idea. I'll see you in church.
65
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Daddy!
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Don't worry, you won't
lose him, all right.
67
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,730
Belinda, let's go.
68
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,401
Someday I'll be out of your life.
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00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,986
Yeah, right now get outta
the bathroom, all right.
70
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,963
The best thing about having daughters.
71
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,647
Nicky boy, it's Monty.
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Close the door.
73
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,654
Yeah?
74
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,865
Nicky, Rose's mother,
she's on her way over.
75
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,868
So? What do you want from me?
76
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,203
I need the truck.
I gotta pick up the wedding cake.
77
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,997
What am I supposed to be, Allied Vans?
78
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,999
You really know how to push
a friendship, you know?
79
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,084
When's the last time
you did something for me?
80
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:23,961
Hey Monty you got a
short memory, you know?
81
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,504
Who drove all the way
down to Atlantic City
82
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,339
to bail you out when you owed $400?
83
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,467
At Belmont, you had
four losers in a row.
84
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,843
Who gave you the winner in the fifth?
85
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,970
The cake's for your godchild,
you ungrateful bastard you!
86
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,056
All right, all right.
Give me a chance. I'm comin'.
87
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,988
- Where's my stuff?
- By the front door. What's the rush?
88
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,282
I gotta go to work.
I got a wedding to pay for.
89
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Don't forget the cake.
90
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,824
How many years you know me?
Did I ever forget anything?
91
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,624
Nicky, just in time. Beautiful!
92
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,419
I don't wanna see her fucking... mother!
93
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,717
- Was it Nicky?
- No, no. It's not Nicky. No.
94
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,846
- Oh, it's mother!
- Leave him, dear.
95
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,140
Just simply walk out on him.
96
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His entire body is bloodshot.
He'll never change.
97
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,146
Nice to see you too.
98
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,607
It's gonna be so much
fun having everyone here.
99
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,692
Yeah, a lot of fun, a lot of fun.
100
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,861
Well, if it isn't my favorite relative.
101
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,072
Oh, don't start that bullshit, all right.
102
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,866
Monty, please bring
mother's luggage upstairs.
103
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,746
- Well what's Clive, a footstool?
- No, no, Monty, let me get this.
104
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:47,169
- How can you stand him?
- You've gotta get to know him.
105
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The wedding is gonna be wonderful.
106
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We never get to see you.
107
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,593
The store takes up all my time.
108
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,806
Mother, why do you push
yourself so hard?
109
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,558
The money doesn't matter.
110
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,687
When your father was alive,
he ran Monahan's like a tyrant.
111
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,689
He paid the help next to nothing.
112
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,733
- He drove them like sled dogs.
- Wonderful man.
113
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:14,113
Wonderful! Now that he's gone,
I carry on his work.
114
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Rose,
115
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:20,744
I don't know how you can
live with that man.
116
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,247
We're happy just the way we are.
117
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,293
Happy? Yeah, we were
until a few minutes ago.
118
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,212
And we don't want a dime from you.
You understand?
119
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No offense.
120
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,342
No offense?
121
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,136
No offense?
122
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,722
You are an offense!
123
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,725
Why, you can barely walk erect.
124
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,353
You pollute the air with your smoking.
125
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,731
You reek of liquor and
God knows what else.
126
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,274
You're an ecological menace!
127
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,693
Yeah, well you were the
inspiration for twin beds.
128
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,486
And I'll tell you something else...
129
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,196
Monty, don't start with mother.
130
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,198
I'm not startin' nothin'.
It never ended.
131
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,785
And to think of who you could
have married. Pat Flannigan.
132
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:02,828
Do me a favor, will ya,
133
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,289
don't start throwing up the
guys she could've married.
134
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,999
He started out as a bricklayer.
135
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,668
Now he owns his own
construction company.
136
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,254
And what about Tom O'Rourke?
He started as a busboy.
137
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,673
Today he has his own restaurant.
138
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,761
Oh, yeah, I started out as a baby.
Today I'm a baby photographer.
139
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,137
I'll see you later.
140
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,307
And I'm sure you're gonna
talk about me when I'm gone.
141
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,988
Where do you live, in Vermont?
What took you so long?
142
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,543
Why do you let her mother get to you?
143
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,796
Forget about her, will ya?
144
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,049
She never wanted Rose
to marry me. Never.
145
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,555
She says I drink too much,
I smoke too much, I gamble.
146
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,641
She's right, but what am I gonna do?
147
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,059
I can't control myself.
148
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:10,354
I got no, uh, what's the word
I'm looking for, I got no...
149
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,480
Class.
150
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,108
Nah, we know I got class, no.
151
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,901
It's a certain word I'm looking' for.
152
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,529
What's the word for someone
who can't say "no"?
153
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,073
- Sonya.
- Not Sonya. No, not Sonya.
154
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,158
No, I got no...
155
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,953
Willpower! That's the word
I'm lookin' for.
156
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,122
Willpower, I got no willpower.
That's what it is.
157
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,540
Yeah, willpower.
158
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,084
Make a left on Elm. I got a quick shoot.
159
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,086
What shoot? You didn't say
anything about a shoot.
160
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,588
Leave me alone. I got enough
problems. Just take a left on Elm.
161
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,091
I got a quick shoot. I'll be quick.
You can help me, all right.
162
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,634
Oh, I can help you. Well, thanks.
163
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,220
You really think I got no class?
164
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,514
No, I don't think you got no class.
165
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:49,518
I'm gonna be sad. Mmmmm.
Very good, okay!
166
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:52,224
Now, I'm gonna be a monster.
Watch this, okay.
167
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,399
Now the big one. Okay, the big one.
168
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,151
Can you be happy?
169
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,154
That's a good one! Okay, be happy.
170
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,656
Okay, here we are. Smile pretty.
171
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,950
Beautiful! There we go, we got it.
172
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,126
The other door. The other door!
173
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,128
- I got it, I got it.
- The other door!
174
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:31,101
- Get outta here.
- Oooh! Oh!
175
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,233
The cake, the cake!
176
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,867
- Watch out for the top.
- I'm watching, I'm watching.
177
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,370
It's not gonna slide
around in there, is it?
178
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,456
No, I got it wedged against a toilet.
179
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,549
This is just great.
My favorite system a lock.
180
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,676
And I got Monty in the truck
with a wedding cake.
181
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,762
I gotta pick up my mother,
take her to the beauty parlor.
182
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,599
- What's the tip?
- Big Boy in the fifth.
183
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,685
Forget it! The fifth goes off at 3:00.
184
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:17,689
- We goin' to the track?
- I can't go. I got a bar to run.
185
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,233
This here's a sure thing.
186
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,236
- It's forty to one.
- Hey!
187
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,614
- Wake up, we're closing up.
- I didn't finish my drink yet.
188
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,243
You're finished now. Get outta here.
Here's your dollar.
189
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:36,625
Come on, come on will ya.
We've got five minutes to post.
190
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,092
Hey! Get the hell out of there!
191
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,011
Slow down, will ya, slow down.
They're kids.
192
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,682
Nicky, take care of it.
193
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,090
What're you doing?
194
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,822
Sixty seconds to post time.
195
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,784
Are you gonna place a bet or what?
196
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:15,414
Oh, yes, yes. I'd like the
number seven horse please.
197
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,875
Thirty seconds to post time.
198
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:23,380
I'd like to put two dollars to win,
and two dollars to place
199
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,384
- and two dollars to show.
- Okay, buddy, good luck.
200
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:32,389
The next time you bet,
remember, instead of saying
201
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,516
two dollars to win,
two dollars to place,
202
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,895
two dollars to show, just say,
"two across the board."
203
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,106
- Gee, you mean instead of saying...
- What are you buyin', a house?
204
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,399
Two dollars to place...
205
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,902
Let's go while we're young.
206
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,904
We're gonna get shut out!
207
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,364
Yes, I have a friend
that wants to bet the
208
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,991
number seven horse.
209
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,078
Number six horse. Six horse.
210
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,080
No more bets.
211
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,335
And they're off!
212
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:09,009
Nicky, come on. We're goin' to the rail.
213
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,429
Big Boy making up lots
of ground on the outside,
214
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,723
moving to the fourth spot.
215
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,935
Here comes Big Boy with a rush
on the extreme outside.
216
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,312
How's he doin'? How's he doin'?
217
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,231
- Gettin' farther ahead all the time.
- Gimme those things.
218
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,235
Five lengths ahead!
219
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,363
Fifty bucks at forty to one!
220
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,616
That's two grand apiece!
Two grand apiece!
221
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,747
You dragged me out here,
you bastards, I love ya, I love ya!
222
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,876
That's two grand apiece! Two G's!
223
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,807
I'm goin' to Hawaii!
I'm goin' to Hawaii!
224
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,935
- He's fallin' back.
- I'm not goin' to Hawaii!
225
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,648
He's too far ahead to lose.
226
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,367
Look at him!
He thinks he's water skiing!
227
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,205
- We were in. What happened?
- Yeah, there's our winner.
228
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,625
I closed my bar! Get outta here!
229
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,628
I'll kill you.
230
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:29,131
I'll kill you, Bosco!
231
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,134
I'll kill him. I'll kill you!
232
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:35,721
There was supposed to be a fix. Crooks!
233
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:39,099
I was gonna buy a new neon sign.
234
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,522
Yeah, that's it. Step on his face!
235
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,882
That son of a bitch!
236
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,494
Go get him, Nicky!
237
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,581
My bridesmaids' dresses are lime green.
238
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,084
And my maid of honor
is wearing lime green.
239
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,754
The maid of honor's dress should
always be in contrast
240
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:09,796
to the bridesmaids.
241
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:14,176
This is, um, delicious!
What do you call it?
242
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,302
Chicken!
243
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,929
I know it's chicken, dear,
but what kind?
244
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,306
There's Kiev, there's Florentine...
245
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,808
Shake & bake!
246
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,810
Mother, I'm glad you could come.
247
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,813
I've always been sorry
you missed my wedding.
248
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,607
You know I couldn't go to your wedding.
249
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:29,816
That's cause Daddy was there.
250
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,194
Where is your father tonight, dear?
251
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,528
He's taking baby pictures.
252
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:38,408
Ha! What kind of a baby is it
that's still up at 9 at night?
253
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,839
Sweetheart, watch out for this guy.
254
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,842
He'll buy you a bottle of beer,
and squeeze the "schlitz" outta ya.
255
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,677
Who is this guy?
256
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,347
He's my friend. Don't worry about him.
257
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,351
Excuse me, miss. I don't mean
to interrupt while you're working.
258
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,105
I was wondering if you could
come over to the house
259
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,358
Sunday for dinner and meet my mother?
260
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,860
- Do you wanna go home?
- He's kiddin' around.
261
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,364
Excuse me, pal. You got a problem here?
This is my friend.
262
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,908
- Who are you?
- Who am I?
263
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,827
I'm the guy that put
the bathrooms in this joint.
264
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:22,619
That's who I am.
265
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,663
Now I know why the place
stinks, okay, pal?
266
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,168
Break it up, will ya? What's the matter?
267
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,673
Take it easy, will ya?
268
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,969
- Ma?
- Hmm?
269
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,388
Am I pretty?
270
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,974
Oh, you're beautiful, sweetheart.
271
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,393
Julio's a very lucky boy.
272
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,896
I wanna make him happy.
273
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,898
But there's so much I don't know.
274
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,402
- Like what?
- Like about, you know.
275
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,488
- I know what?
- You know!
276
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,950
Oh, that.
277
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,452
Didn't your father tell you
everything you need to know?
278
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,956
He keeps starting,
but he never finishes.
279
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,625
What do you wanna know?
280
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,005
Foreplay. Have you
ever heard of foreplay?
281
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,924
No, not with your father.
282
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,927
It's nice we can have
these little talks.
283
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,679
Let's go help Belinda pour the coffee.
284
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,430
Wait, Mom.
285
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,515
How did you know that
you really loved Daddy?
286
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,519
We were at Coney Island
on the ferris wheel.
287
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,938
We got caught at the top.
288
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,024
Later on, I found out
289
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,944
he paid the man a dollar
to stop the ride.
290
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,447
Your father said things to me
291
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,534
that were so sweet, so romantic.
292
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:49,539
I said to myself,
"Here's a sensitive man."
293
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,209
Just once, a fuckin' four!
294
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,212
Four! Got a four!
295
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,214
Gimme the dice, I'm hot. Gimme the dice.
296
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,217
Hold it, hold it! You won, right?
297
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,719
We're ahead.
We can leave winners right now.
298
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,221
Okay, so we go. Let's go.
299
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,224
Double or nothin'. Come on, here we go.
300
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,310
Oh, Monty!
301
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,791
You did it again, huh?
302
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,836
We were winners.
We could've walked away.
303
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,674
That's how I am.
Once I get goin', I can't stop.
304
00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:54,354
Come on. Forget about it.
It's history. Let's go.
305
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:03,280
Good stuff. It oughta be.
I got it off a cop.
306
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:07,450
- I'm starvin'.
- Let's go to Lucky's. He's open late.
307
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,258
He's closed.
308
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,386
Come on, Pop's inside. He'll let us in.
309
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,818
Pop's last dish.
310
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,778
We're drivin' a half hour.
311
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:46,197
The closest we came to food,
we almost hit a deer.
312
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,991
Hey, there's a place.
313
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,048
I'm so hungry, I could eat the waitress.
314
00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:21,441
No, no! No! It's wrong.
Nicky, it's wrong.
315
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,361
- I just wanna see what...
- It's wrong!
316
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,865
It's wedding cake flavor.
I love wedding cake.
317
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,784
Why don't you get married?
318
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,997
Let me just lick the bride.
319
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,875
That's my daughter!
320
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:42,921
It's a little plastic thing.
It's not your daughter.
321
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,885
Only one little flower each.
322
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,888
There's a lot of little flowers.
Nobody will know the difference.
323
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,391
Forget about it. Let's get outta here.
324
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,976
And don't drive fast. You're drunk.
325
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,979
Don't worry about it.
I drive better when I'm drunk.
326
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,404
You got a weird sense of humor.
You know that?
327
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,781
You laugh at everything.
Weather reports, car chase.
328
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,449
You laugh at everything.
329
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:13,952
Keep it straight, will ya?
You're swerving all over the place.
330
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:16,830
I'm goin' straight.
I'm on the yellow line, I told ya.
331
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:19,165
Move over to one side.
The other side! What are ya doin?
332
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,543
You're on the other side! Get over here!
333
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,670
- Keep to the right!
- Get your hands off the wheel!
334
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,338
Nicky look out!
335
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,912
My head! I hit my head!
336
00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:36,141
What's so funny?
Everything's funny to you.
337
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,058
You laugh and laugh.
338
00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,561
Watch the road, will ya?
Will you watch the road?
339
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:44,607
I lost my joint. Where's my joint?
340
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,418
Just watch the road, asshole.
341
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,197
Move the car, Nicky, the car!
342
00:25:13,921 --> 00:25:15,805
You got some aspirin?
343
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,829
I'm sorry. It was an emergency.
344
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,944
- You sure this is a good idea?
- Daddy.
345
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,446
Isn't she beautiful?
346
00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:17,033
Yeah, but who's that with her?
347
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:22,330
What do you see in this guy?
348
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:25,291
He has everything I ever wanted.
349
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,252
You don't ask for much, do you?
350
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:30,296
Did your mother tell you
everything you need to know?
351
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:31,965
She taught me how to fry bananas.
352
00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:33,049
Oh, beautiful!
353
00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:36,386
You'll end up working
in a Spanish restaurant.
354
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,355
You're not pregnant, are you?
355
00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:50,066
Daddy! The way you brought me up?
356
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:51,859
All right.
357
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:10,044
Welcome, Allison. Welcome, Julio.
358
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:21,306
Julio Vidal O'Campo,
will you have Allison
359
00:27:22,725 --> 00:27:26,060
Juliana Capuletti, to be your wife,
360
00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:28,813
to live together in the
covenant of marriage?
361
00:27:29,023 --> 00:27:30,648
Shhh!
362
00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:34,277
Will you love her, comfort her,
honor her and keep her
363
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,779
in sickness and in health,
364
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,532
and foresaking all others,
be faithful to her
365
00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:41,284
for as long as you both shall live?
366
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:42,827
I do.
367
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:47,248
Where's your father?
He's directing traffic.
368
00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:51,252
Please, let's go. Get outta here.
Come on, towards me.
369
00:27:51,462 --> 00:27:56,758
Back up, back up!
Turn the wheel to the right. The wheel!
370
00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,676
Where're you goin',
what's happening here?
371
00:27:58,886 --> 00:27:59,761
We gotta get outta here.
372
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:03,348
Hold it, will ya, he ain't goin' nowhere.
What's your problem?
373
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:17,153
Hey!
374
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,155
Whoo!
375
00:28:19,406 --> 00:28:20,615
Hey!
376
00:28:24,328 --> 00:28:25,662
Whoo!
377
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:35,213
Why didn't he fix the walk?
It's been this way for months!
378
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,459
Why can't you make everybody happy
and shake hands with this kid?
379
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,461
- Not me.
- Shake hands with him.
380
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,547
Go ahead.
381
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:21,217
Look at him, look at him.
382
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,553
If I look at him, I won't shake hands!
383
00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:26,013
Look at him. Go ahead.
384
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,727
Now look, Julio.
We're family now, all right?
385
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:33,730
Just do the right thing.
Make Allison happy.
386
00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:35,690
She's a great girl.
387
00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:39,318
I know, I lived with her for 18 years.
388
00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:42,363
Can I call you dad?
389
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:48,828
Oh, it's wonderful to
see you two get along.
390
00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:59,213
Good-bye, honey!
391
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:12,351
Hey, what are we doin' here,
my glass is empty.
392
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,228
Come on, will ya?
393
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,749
Wow.
394
00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:37,668
This is it.
395
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:41,005
Yeah, our first motel room.
396
00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:16,690
Okay, let's get the guy up here
who paid for this shindig.
397
00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:29,804
Hold it, hold it. Let him talk.
398
00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:33,224
- I got nothin' to say, Nicky.
- Then sing a song. I sang.
399
00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:36,810
- I can't sing. Are you kiddin'?
- Sing "La Consonetta."
400
00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:41,861
I'm no Sinatra, but here it goes. Okay?
401
00:31:47,865 --> 00:31:51,826
Some think the world was
made for fun and frolic
402
00:31:52,369 --> 00:31:55,413
And so do I and so do I
403
00:31:55,873 --> 00:31:59,834
Some think it's right
to be so melancholic
404
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:03,337
They'll pine and sigh
they'll pine and sigh
405
00:32:03,881 --> 00:32:07,884
But I, I like to spend
my time a-singing
406
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:11,470
Some joyous song some joyous song
407
00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:15,892
To set the air with music ever ringing
408
00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,896
Is far from wrong is far from wrong
409
00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:23,482
Hark it, hark it music from afar
410
00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:26,611
Hark it, hark it with a happy heart
411
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:31,449
Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula
412
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,827
Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula
413
00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:38,497
Hark it, hark it music from afar
414
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:41,792
Hark it, hark it with a happy heart
415
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:46,923
Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula
416
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:50,343
Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula
417
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:53,930
Hark it, hark it music from afar
418
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:57,350
Hark it, hark it with a happy heart
419
00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:01,938
Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula
420
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:09,028
Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula
421
00:34:07,129 --> 00:34:08,754
How do I look?
422
00:34:12,134 --> 00:34:13,843
You look beautiful.
423
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,660
I always dreamed about my wedding day.
424
00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,622
I guess I never thought about the night.
425
00:35:07,189 --> 00:35:09,023
Be gentle with me.
426
00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:22,620
Julio!
427
00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:25,122
This is foreplay.
428
00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:29,585
- I have a headache.
- I don't wanna touch your head.
429
00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:32,588
Please, Julio, I've never
been with a man before.
430
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:34,590
Neither have I!
431
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,258
Julio!
432
00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:44,475
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't know what to do.
433
00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:49,105
- I brought a book.
- A book?
434
00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:57,113
"El Joyo de Sexo."
435
00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,157
- It's in Spanish.
- I'm gonna translate it for you.
436
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,702
It has a very happy ending.
You're gonna love it.
437
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,172
Allison?
438
00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:18,092
What do you want from me, Julio?
439
00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:21,428
I never seen anything like that.
440
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,141
Try to understand.
441
00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:28,144
I keep hearing my father say, "Don't."
442
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:31,188
He meant before you were married.
443
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:38,737
I'm not so sure.
You don't know my father.
444
00:36:42,284 --> 00:36:44,243
Allison,
445
00:36:46,288 --> 00:36:47,997
listen to me.
446
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:54,128
My cousin once knew a guy,
447
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,175
and the guy went out with a virgin
448
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:01,385
for six months.
449
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:07,683
And on their wedding night,
when they got married,
450
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:11,270
and they wanted to consummate
the marriage,
451
00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:15,024
the woman wouldn't let him.
452
00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:20,696
And in the morning,
453
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:23,240
they found the guy dead
454
00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:27,786
in the bed next to her.
455
00:37:30,332 --> 00:37:33,250
- Oh.
- Allison?
456
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,630
I don't wanna die.
457
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:45,221
- You're my wife.
- Yeah.
458
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:48,807
- I love you.
- Yeah.
459
00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:51,268
We're all alone.
460
00:37:52,938 --> 00:37:55,231
And your father,
461
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,016
he is a million miles away.
462
00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,784
Hello?
463
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:12,248
Julio, I just wanna say
good night to my little baby.
464
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:14,291
My father!
465
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:22,258
You hung up on my father?
I wouldn't hang up on your father.
466
00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:24,677
You wouldn't understand my father.
467
00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:28,264
Yeah, well, I'm not so sure
I understand you either.
468
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:32,351
Well then why don't you go spend your
wedding night with your father then?
469
00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:37,856
Okay, I will!
470
00:38:48,285 --> 00:38:50,744
Monty, don't forget to fix the walk.
471
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:51,996
Yeah.
472
00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:10,097
Watch it, watch it!
Watch where you're goin'!
473
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,851
My air mail!
474
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,644
Oh, my air mail!
475
00:39:28,408 --> 00:39:30,868
Listen to me. I want my wife back.
476
00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:32,870
Well, look who's here. Don Juan.
477
00:39:33,079 --> 00:39:36,332
- It's your fault she left me, man.
- What, am I responsible?
478
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:39,293
When Eddie Fisher broke up with Debbie,
you blame me for that too, huh?
479
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:40,627
She don't wanna see ya.
480
00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:42,880
You gotta help me, man.
You gotta help me.
481
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:46,383
Give her time.
She'll come back when she's ready.
482
00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:48,969
You oughta give her a few drinks.
483
00:39:49,179 --> 00:39:51,096
That's how I got her mother ready.
484
00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:00,773
I'm in.
485
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:03,859
- It's up to you, Paddy.
- Yeah.
486
00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:08,364
- What the hell is that you got on?
- This? This used to be a shirt.
487
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,407
You know Rose.
She don't throw nothin' out.
488
00:40:10,617 --> 00:40:11,909
She keeps lookin' at the cuffs.
489
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:14,411
Soon as they get frayed,
it becomes a short-sleeve shirt.
490
00:40:14,621 --> 00:40:16,914
When the collar goes,
I end up with a pajama top.
491
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:19,875
Right now I got 23
short-sleeve pajama tops.
492
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:23,379
You know what I found in the closet?
A hundred 1978 calendars.
493
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:25,381
That's Rose!
494
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:28,425
I tell ya, if 1978 ever comes back,
we're in great shape, ya know.
495
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,928
Hey, are we gonna talk
or we gonna play cards?
496
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,641
He'll talk.
497
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,897
Nicky, take it easy.
498
00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:44,983
Take it easy, Nicky. He didn't mean it.
499
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,197
Monty, the phone.
500
00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:53,492
Hello? Hello?
501
00:40:54,536 --> 00:40:56,995
Monty, you have to pick it up.
502
00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,881
You got the wrong number.
There's nobody home. We're asleep.
503
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:11,009
Mr. Capuletti?
504
00:41:12,554 --> 00:41:16,014
- Are you there?
- Monty, who is it, Monty?
505
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:27,609
Hello, hello! Anyone there?
506
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:36,243
Who know a Scrappleton?
507
00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:38,787
That's mother's lawyer.
508
00:41:44,294 --> 00:41:47,212
Yeah. Yeah?
509
00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:49,882
That's awful!
510
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:54,720
No, no. I'm sorry. I'll tell her.
511
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,805
I'll tell her. I'm sorry.
512
00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:00,184
Monty, what happened?
513
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:06,648
Rose, you better sit down for this.
514
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:14,823
Is it mother?
515
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,160
Rose, there was a plane crash.
516
00:42:19,496 --> 00:42:23,290
Your mother earned her wings.
517
00:42:24,334 --> 00:42:28,795
It's all right. It's all right, baby.
518
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,882
"And to my nephew Clive,
519
00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:34,384
"son of my beloved departed brother,
520
00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:37,888
"whom I've undertaken to
raise as a son of my own,
521
00:42:38,097 --> 00:42:41,892
"in as much as he has always
led a simple, virtuous life,
522
00:42:42,101 --> 00:42:45,395
"and because it is my wish
that he continue to do so,
523
00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:50,442
"I bequeath to him an additional
income of $5,000 a year
524
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:52,486
for the rest of his life."
525
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,989
Ah there must be some mistake, Dan.
526
00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:59,952
- There must be some more zeroes.
- No.
527
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:01,954
Um, a comma?
528
00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:03,956
No.
529
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,500
"To my beloved daughter, Rose,
530
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:10,671
"burdened as she is with
cares and responsibilities,
531
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,757
"I bequeath the remainder of my estate,
532
00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:16,593
"which includes
Monahan's Department Store,
533
00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:19,179
estimated worth, $10 million."
534
00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:21,181
Oh!
535
00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:24,184
"If, and only if, her husband Monty
536
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,186
can reform himself in one year."
537
00:43:26,396 --> 00:43:29,147
What kind of reform you talking' about?
538
00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:32,734
There is a codicil attached
to the will, Mr. Capalooti.
539
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:35,612
- That's Capuletti.
- Mr. Capuletti.
540
00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:39,741
Which lists the activities
which are to be proscribed:
541
00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:44,788
That is, the things
you must refrain from.
542
00:43:52,338 --> 00:43:54,715
- No smoking.
- No philandering.
543
00:43:54,924 --> 00:43:56,925
- No gambling.
- No drugs.
544
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:58,135
No alcohol.
545
00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:00,804
No alcohol? Does that go for beer too?
546
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,222
Certainly.
547
00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:06,268
And you must weigh not more
than 175 pounds.
548
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:07,728
Uh, question?
549
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,773
Assuming Monty can't reform,
perish the thought...
550
00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:14,776
Oh, then you get the money.
551
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:16,820
I do?
552
00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:32,252
- Forget about it. I'm not doin' it.
- You're right, forget it.
553
00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:37,341
Daddy, come on, you can do it!
It's $10 million!
554
00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:40,761
Oh, and Mr. Capalooti,
555
00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:43,764
should you decide to accept these terms,
556
00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:47,351
remember we'll be watching you.
557
00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:53,857
I need a drink and a cigarette
so I can think this over, ya know.
558
00:44:55,777 --> 00:44:58,153
Twelve months? Forget about it.
559
00:44:58,363 --> 00:45:00,656
You can do that standing on your head.
560
00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:02,240
It's easy money.
561
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:04,451
Hey, that's a lot of money, Monty.
562
00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:06,953
That could parlay
into a fortune for you.
563
00:45:08,164 --> 00:45:11,458
I couldn't care less,
Monty, but think of the kids.
564
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:15,462
- Think about mommy.
- Think of your wife, and your kids.
565
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,510
Think of me, ya bum!
566
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,977
Monty, breakfast is ready.
567
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:15,105
Oh, breakfast. Beautiful.
568
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:17,649
I stopped smoking. I'm starvin'.
569
00:46:17,859 --> 00:46:20,235
- Dad, pass the syrup.
- Here, here.
570
00:46:22,238 --> 00:46:24,489
Rose, you gave me the wrong plate.
571
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:26,992
Where's the rest of my eggs
and my home fries?
572
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:30,662
These are the rest of your eggs,
these are your home fries,
573
00:46:30,872 --> 00:46:33,707
and this is applesauce.
574
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:42,132
Belinda, I can't eat all my home fries.
Want some home fries?
575
00:46:42,341 --> 00:46:44,134
No, thanks.
576
00:46:44,343 --> 00:46:47,846
Here, Monty.
Oohhh, pass them to Belinda.
577
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,307
If you wanna lose weight,
you should start now.
578
00:46:53,770 --> 00:46:55,645
Ooh, food.
579
00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:58,690
- It's a tough give-up.
- Allison, eat.
580
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,735
Allison, you gotta eat.
581
00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:03,737
I know marriage is rough.
582
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,199
It's not all moonlight and canoes.
That's in the movies.
583
00:47:07,408 --> 00:47:10,202
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- What's the matter with you?
584
00:47:10,411 --> 00:47:13,747
You don't eat. You don't talk to no one.
585
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:16,666
You lock yourself in
your room all night.
586
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,503
The way you're carrying on,
you'll never meet another guy.
587
00:47:27,136 --> 00:47:28,428
What'd I say?
588
00:47:28,638 --> 00:47:30,430
"You'll never meet another guy."
589
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,349
Take out the garbage.
590
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:36,186
Take out the garbage.
591
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:39,648
I didn't even eat,
I gotta take out the garbage.
592
00:47:42,819 --> 00:47:44,778
Hi.
593
00:47:56,833 --> 00:47:59,292
She ain't worth $10 million.
594
00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:05,423
$5 million, maybe.
595
00:49:02,148 --> 00:49:04,566
Hey, not here! Not here!
596
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:07,569
I'm your new neighbor, Bill Jones.
You can call me Bill.
597
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:10,530
Not here! Why don't you take
him on your property, huh?
598
00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:12,949
Take it easy, you interrupt
King's business he gets very upset.
599
00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,577
What makes you think I wanna
inherit his business?
600
00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,579
If you feel so bad, I'll clean it up.
601
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,538
Sure.
602
00:49:18,748 --> 00:49:22,167
So you're Monty Capuletti.
Congratulations on your daughter's wedding.
603
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:25,962
Some party, I heard about.
What am I telling you for, you were there.
604
00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:29,549
Look, I'm your next door neighbor now,
so we gotta get to be good buddies.
605
00:49:29,759 --> 00:49:32,969
I wanna have a relationship. Most important
thing for us, we gotta have a good rapport.
606
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:35,055
Wait till you meet Ginger.
She's my better half.
607
00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:38,558
I already saw your better half.
In fact, I saw more than half.
608
00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:41,561
She's a dynamite girl. I met her
in Vegas a couple of years ago.
609
00:49:41,771 --> 00:49:44,606
Oh, man, she's a loving,
caring, sharing person.
610
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:46,483
Someone maybe one day you
can become friendly with.
611
00:49:46,692 --> 00:49:48,652
I needed you two to move in next door.
612
00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:51,363
I'm nervous enough this morning.
Are you kiddin'?
613
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:54,115
Nervous, maybe you need a little smoke.
614
00:49:54,325 --> 00:49:57,118
Little ups, little downs, little something.
I got anything you need.
615
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,828
What are you talkin' to
me about drugs for?
616
00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,622
I got my daughter here.
She's 12 years old.
617
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:03,583
Look, you got a connection in
the family already, stick with it.
618
00:50:03,793 --> 00:50:07,003
But just this once, I'll tell you what,
my friend. Let me be Santa Claus.
619
00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:10,674
There's one, two, from me to you.
We'll take a hike. Come on pouchy.
620
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:32,946
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
621
00:50:35,658 --> 00:50:39,202
Two, four, six, eight, ten.
Two, four, six, eight, ten.
622
00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:51,756
This is ridiculous.
623
00:50:51,966 --> 00:50:54,259
But daddy, jogging's good for you.
624
00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:58,805
Thanks to jogging, more people than
ever are dropping dead in perfect health.
625
00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:12,861
Five more.
626
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:20,201
- Celebrity Pizza.
- Send over the usual. Eight pies.
627
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:23,788
Two Lollo Brigidas, two
Jerry Vales, two Pavarottis,
628
00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:25,749
one Caruso and a Frank Nitti.
629
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:29,044
- Monty, is that you?
- Yeah. I got a cold.
630
00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:37,761
Stay right there. I'll get some money.
631
00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:40,013
C'mon, what am I asking for?
632
00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:42,265
One slice.
You can stay up late, all right?
633
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:48,980
The top one had anchovies.
634
00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:55,278
All right, who's in?
635
00:51:58,491 --> 00:52:00,909
Come on, pick the date he blows it.
636
00:52:09,919 --> 00:52:11,836
Great guy you are, you know that?
637
00:52:12,046 --> 00:52:15,340
Can't wait till he blows it, huh?
Bettin' on it and everything.
638
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:17,884
Listen to you.
What, are you some kind of altar boy?
639
00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:20,178
Huh? You're some influence.
640
00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:22,806
You gamble in front of him,
you drink in front of him.
641
00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:25,266
Hey, Monty see, Monty do, you know.
642
00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:35,360
Hector, Hector. Don't push me.
643
00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:38,363
Listen to me. It's gonna work.
644
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,365
See these pennies?
645
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:44,869
You take these pennies, you throw 'em
at the window, and I'll be in the bush.
646
00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,330
I saw it in a movie once.
It's gonna work perfect.
647
00:52:47,540 --> 00:52:50,750
If you need any help, just listen
to what I'm gonna tell you to say.
648
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,378
Go on. Go get 'em.
649
00:52:53,587 --> 00:52:56,881
- Where you going?
- I'll be in the bush.
650
00:52:57,091 --> 00:52:58,883
Throw the pennies.
651
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,011
- You're gonna be behind the bush?
- I'll be right here.
652
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:15,900
Who's there?
653
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,992
Hey. How are you?
654
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,163
I was just, uh...
655
00:53:29,081 --> 00:53:30,874
I was in the neighborhood,
656
00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:34,919
and thought I'd stop by,
see what's cooking.
657
00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:38,464
- That Julio?
- Yeah.
658
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:43,928
- What do I say?
- Tell her to come down.
659
00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:46,347
Prove to her you're the man.
660
00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:51,227
Come down. I'm the man.
661
00:53:51,437 --> 00:53:53,938
Get tough. Tell her you're bad.
662
00:53:54,148 --> 00:53:55,815
- I'm bad.
- Like you mean it.
663
00:53:56,025 --> 00:54:00,028
Allison! I'm bad.
664
00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,947
No, no, no!
665
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:04,782
Jump up and down.
666
00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:09,078
- I am so bad! I am so bad!
- Be angry.
667
00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:12,916
- Who are you talking to?
- Julio and the hedge.
668
00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:15,960
I'm so bad, I should be in detention.
669
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,504
No, no. Be mean.
670
00:54:19,048 --> 00:54:21,549
Wave your arms.
Make believe you're angry.
671
00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,468
Listen to me.
672
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:25,303
I'm not that kind of guy
673
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,973
that's gonna start playing around
in the driveway of a tract house!
674
00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:33,061
I'm not gonna lose my temper
in front of the woman that I love!
675
00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:38,483
Get on your knees. Beg her.
676
00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,569
Tell her you're thinking
of killing yourself.
677
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:48,076
No. I don't talk like that.
678
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:52,288
Do you hear me? I don't talk like that.
679
00:54:53,582 --> 00:54:57,961
If you know so much about women,
you talk to her.
680
00:54:58,212 --> 00:55:00,505
The hedge, Allison Capuletti.
681
00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:03,967
Allison, the hedge has
a few words to say to you.
682
00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:08,513
- I don't know what to say.
- Oh, now you don't know what to say!
683
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:12,517
Allison, Julio's very unhappy.
684
00:55:12,726 --> 00:55:16,771
- You made a fool out of me!
- Get off of my ear! Let go of my leg!
685
00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:25,530
Saturday lunch.
I can have a piece of fruit, citrus,
686
00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,532
or four ounces of fish.
687
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:29,534
I think I'll have the fruit.
688
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:31,744
Sometimes with the fish,
these guys go over.
689
00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,037
What'll you have, buddy?
690
00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:36,499
- Two with sauerkraut and a Yoo-Hoo.
- Got it.
691
00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:41,045
Two with sauerkraut. Yoo-Hoo.
692
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:44,590
- What do you want, buddy?
- Nothin'. I'll just smell his.
693
00:55:52,141 --> 00:55:54,058
You know why I'm going
through this whole thing, Nicky?
694
00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:56,060
For my kids, that's why.
695
00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:59,063
That's the greatest love in the world,
your kids. You can't beat it.
696
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:02,567
That's why you do things.
That's love, for your kids.
697
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:05,069
See what I mean, see that man
over there with his kid?
698
00:56:05,279 --> 00:56:09,073
That's love. Look at the way he loves
the kid, bouncing him on his knee.
699
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:11,159
That's love, baby, I'll tell you that.
700
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:14,579
There he is!
Thank goodness he's all right!
701
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,457
What's going on? I'm sitting here minding
my business, he jumped on my lap.
702
00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,459
- Get away from my kid!
- Everybody calm down.
703
00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:21,586
- Do you have some identification, sir?
- It's in my other raincoat.
704
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,297
Didn't I tell you to never wander
away from mommy again?
705
00:56:24,506 --> 00:56:26,674
Spit that out right now!
706
00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:36,392
Come on.
707
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,690
It's all ready. Come on, give it a shot.
708
00:56:47,738 --> 00:56:50,198
You gotta go 30 miles an hour
709
00:56:50,491 --> 00:56:52,992
for 15 minutes for it to do anything.
710
00:56:54,370 --> 00:56:56,954
Come on, faster, faster. Come on.
711
00:56:57,164 --> 00:56:59,499
Faster. You gotta get it up to speed.
712
00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:02,568
Faster, faster, faster!
713
00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:07,006
Faster. 30 miles. Faster. Faster.
714
00:57:07,216 --> 00:57:11,803
- Oh, my!
- Oh, no! Oh.
715
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,229
Come on. Keep quiet.
Keep your head down.
716
00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:23,648
- Is my hair too flat?
- No.
717
00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:25,775
You look great. Come on.
718
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:30,655
Come on, Julio. Okay. Gimme that.
719
00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,617
It's locked.
Let's go play Space Invaders.
720
00:57:34,910 --> 00:57:37,161
No. We'll go up the drain pipe.
721
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:40,123
Don't worry about it.
Everything's gonna be all right.
722
00:57:40,332 --> 00:57:44,043
- I will not. I won't go up that way.
- All you gotta do is climb up.
723
00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:46,170
Come on. Come on.
724
00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:48,589
You can do it! You bad!
725
00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:53,761
I had to hook up with
the only virgin in New York.
726
00:57:53,971 --> 00:57:56,639
Didn't they teach this at school?
727
00:57:56,849 --> 00:57:59,684
They taught math at your school,
but you can't divide.
728
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:01,811
At least I can multiply.
729
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,690
You sure this is Allison's bedroom?
730
00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:08,776
I know this place like
the back of my hand.
731
00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:20,163
What happened?
732
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:23,749
I got the back of my
hand stuck in the toilet.
733
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:35,386
Listen to me. You gotta be quiet.
734
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,638
We gotta be quiet.
735
00:58:40,434 --> 00:58:42,810
- Where's the light?
- Shh!
736
00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:46,355
That isn't a light.
737
00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:50,359
That's not the light.
And this is not the light.
738
00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,947
That's the water pik.
739
00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:03,706
Here's the plan.
740
00:59:03,916 --> 00:59:06,209
I'm gonna go talk to Allison.
741
00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:09,003
When I leave the room, you...
742
00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:15,676
We're in here.
743
00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,857
Just be calm.
744
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,818
Just be calm, and get out the window.
745
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,370
Ow!
746
00:59:43,914 --> 00:59:45,748
- I'll meet you down by the car.
- Yeah.
747
00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:48,751
I'll be all right. Don't worry about it.
748
00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:54,298
Julio!
749
00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,842
Julio!
750
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:21,075
I'll have a number three
with flour tortillas.
751
01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:23,661
Mmm. Two of them.
752
01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:30,626
Um, I'll have the special. Number one.
753
01:00:33,672 --> 01:00:37,508
I'll have a junior salad. No dressing.
754
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,598
Why don't you stop carryin' on,
huh Monty?
755
01:00:43,807 --> 01:00:46,726
Rate you're goin', I'll bet you a hundred
bucks you're not gonna make it.
756
01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:51,230
If I bet you, then I won't make it.
757
01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:56,110
Just remember: when the going gets
tough, the tough get going.
758
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,862
What if you're not tough?
759
01:00:58,822 --> 01:01:00,615
You gotta be strong like me.
760
01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,617
Look. What is this? Nothin'.
761
01:01:02,826 --> 01:01:06,078
Put it right out.
It's not gonna be my master.
762
01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:11,167
Gimme a light, Lou.
763
01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:19,133
Mmm, Monty, you gotta have discilton.
764
01:01:19,343 --> 01:01:21,093
Discipline.
765
01:01:23,722 --> 01:01:27,642
- Can I have your olive?
- You got extra olives?
766
01:01:27,851 --> 01:01:30,144
You want the black one or the green one?
767
01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:33,731
- Which one you want?
- It's up to you. Take the green one.
768
01:01:37,778 --> 01:01:42,156
Just a minute Okay, you gotta
stay still. Okay, kid?
769
01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:45,159
You gotta stay still.
Kid, you gotta stay still.
770
01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:47,578
Monty, have you ever seen
a face like that before?
771
01:01:47,788 --> 01:01:49,622
No. If I did, I'd remember it.
772
01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:53,376
Okay, I'm gonna get a real
good picture now. Okay?
773
01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:57,755
- Look at him! He's got my eyes.
- He's got my nose.
774
01:01:57,964 --> 01:02:00,758
And my sympathy. All right.
775
01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,843
We want some wallet-size pictures too.
776
01:02:03,845 --> 01:02:06,055
This kid won't fit in a wallet-size.
777
01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:09,183
Make 'em good pictures.
My wife's very particular.
778
01:02:09,393 --> 01:02:12,561
What about you, John?
He's very particular too.
779
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:15,064
I'm surprised you married each other.
780
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,566
All right. Look, kid.
781
01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:21,862
I'm tired of telling you the same thing.
You gotta stay still. I'll tell you what.
782
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,448
Anthony, I'm gonna make a deal with you.
783
01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:25,950
Anthony, pay attention.
784
01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:27,993
You gotta stay still.
785
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:30,287
If we wanna get a good picture,
we gotta stay still.
786
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,957
We wanna get a good picture, Anthony.
787
01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:37,044
Stay still. Stay still.
Help that kid out, will ya?
788
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:40,047
- Talk to him, grandma.
- Here we go, Anthony.
789
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:43,467
Be quiet.
790
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:47,012
Stay still. Quiet, will ya!
791
01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:50,975
Blanche, John, grandma,
talk to him, will ya? Stay quiet!
792
01:02:51,184 --> 01:02:54,478
Hey, kid, be quiet, will ya?
793
01:02:54,688 --> 01:02:58,023
Somebody! Will you shut
the fat little bastard up?
794
01:02:58,233 --> 01:03:00,109
What is the law?
795
01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:04,113
Not to go on all fours.
796
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:07,116
- That is the law.
- What is the law?
797
01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,619
Not to shed blood.
798
01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:14,581
His prices are insane!
799
01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:19,086
All we need is one pin, Rodney.
800
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:22,089
Now, back to "Lost Weekend."
801
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:26,677
He who breaks the law must
go to the house of pain.
802
01:03:26,887 --> 01:03:28,596
Back to the pain!
803
01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:34,226
Monty.
804
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:44,153
Monty, it's 3:00 in the morning.
805
01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:48,157
Come to bed. You haven't had
a decent night's sleep in weeks.
806
01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:53,078
I don't know how to sleep.
I know how to pass out.
807
01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:01,629
Maybe you should see a doctor.
808
01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:03,380
If I see a doctor,
I'll blow the whole thing.
809
01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:05,633
They give you sleeping pills.
810
01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:08,677
You know what I do when I can't sleep?
811
01:04:08,887 --> 01:04:11,514
- What?
- I knit.
812
01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:15,684
Maybe I'll knit myself a beer.
813
01:04:15,894 --> 01:04:18,771
How about some hot milk?
It'll do you good.
814
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,774
I'll try anything.
815
01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:27,780
- Hot milk.
- Come on.
816
01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:41,669
Monty, I know what you're going through.
817
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:44,255
Do you wanna talk about it?
818
01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:54,723
You know your friend Blanche Genaro?
819
01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:55,724
Uh-huh.
820
01:04:55,934 --> 01:05:00,739
Her kid Anthony,
I called him a fat little bastard.
821
01:05:03,859 --> 01:05:07,236
Very funny. We're laughin'
and I'm out of a job.
822
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,822
Monty, you're a great photographer.
823
01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:18,706
- You'll get another job.
- Yeah, when?
824
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,708
Meanwhile, I got nothing to do.
825
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:23,711
What do people do when
they're not getting loaded?
826
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:27,131
What you have to do
is change your habits.
827
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:29,216
Yeah? Who you been talking to?
828
01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,760
Mrs. Dugan. She's an expert.
829
01:05:31,970 --> 01:05:35,431
She had three husbands.
They all died of alcohol.
830
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,017
She's no expert, she's a carrier.
831
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,734
You know what I was
thinking about today?
832
01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:50,779
Coney Island. When the kids were small?
833
01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,700
Remember the time
you put Allison on the pony
834
01:05:54,910 --> 01:05:57,786
and you tried to make the pony
smile to make Allison smile?
835
01:05:58,330 --> 01:06:02,249
- I never laughed so hard.
- That was the good old days.
836
01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:05,085
If I make it through this,
I'll buy you Coney Island.
837
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:09,840
I don't need Coney Island. I need you.
838
01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:03,602
- Hi, Nicky.
- Hi, Rose.
839
01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,856
- Hey, kid.
- Oh, yo, nick.
840
01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:11,360
- What are you playing, Mozart?
- Scales.
841
01:07:11,569 --> 01:07:13,562
Scales? Never heard of him.
842
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:20,786
Rose! Rose! Rose!
843
01:07:20,996 --> 01:07:23,330
Hey, whoa! What are you doin'?
844
01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:25,332
What's going on?
What, are you crackin' up?
845
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:28,419
I tell you, Nicky,
it's rough. It's rough.
846
01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:33,424
What's the matter with you?
What is this?
847
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,426
Rose told me I need hobbies.
848
01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:37,928
I'm making a plane.
It's a messerschmitt.
849
01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,434
It's a nice job.
850
01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:45,769
I tell ya, I'm fed up with everything.
851
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:48,647
I wanna go to sleep and wake up four
months from now when it's all over.
852
01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:51,942
You know what your problem is?
This whole thing ain't real to you.
853
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:53,777
You don't know what you're coming into.
854
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:55,404
Did you ever see
Monahan's Department Store?
855
01:07:55,613 --> 01:07:57,906
Once from the outside
when I dropped Rose off.
856
01:07:58,116 --> 01:07:59,575
Why don't we go see it from the inside?
857
01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:01,410
What do you say, come on.
We'll have a few laughs.
858
01:08:01,619 --> 01:08:04,204
Huh? Come on. I need a new shirt anyway.
859
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:11,378
Rose, there's a messerschmitt in
the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?
860
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:25,059
Some joint, huh?
861
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:29,188
When you take over, let me
fix the bathrooms here.
862
01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:35,110
They don't go to the bathroom here.
863
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:38,155
See this?
864
01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:51,502
Could somebody help us here?
865
01:08:52,796 --> 01:08:54,630
I don't think so.
866
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:59,093
I tell ya, my friend here, he's look...
867
01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:01,637
I tell ya, my friend here,
he's lookin' for a shirt.
868
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:04,681
Yeah. You have something
in a dark black?
869
01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:08,602
He wants something he can
wear four, five days in a row.
870
01:09:11,731 --> 01:09:14,108
You have any men's shirts for men?
871
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,693
Have you tried the Army/Navy store?
872
01:09:17,237 --> 01:09:21,115
Very funny. One more word
out of you, and he gets it.
873
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:23,700
Come on.
874
01:09:24,244 --> 01:09:27,663
Why don't you two put your heads together,
make an ass out of yourselves?
875
01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:34,253
Where're you goin'?
876
01:09:34,462 --> 01:09:36,171
It says, "Come In And Browse."
877
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:43,345
- May I help you?
- No, thank you. Just browsing.
878
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:46,640
What have they got in
this place, antiques?
879
01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:49,143
No, those are the customers.
880
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:53,147
- May I help you?
- No, thanks. Just browsing.
881
01:09:53,356 --> 01:09:56,650
How long do you intend to browse?
882
01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,571
That lady, you didn't ask her
how long she intends to browse.
883
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,739
How come you're asking us
how long we intend to browse?
884
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:04,658
You don't look like browsers.
885
01:10:04,868 --> 01:10:08,036
- What do browsers look like?
- Maybe I'm half browser.
886
01:10:08,288 --> 01:10:09,371
On his father's side.
887
01:10:09,581 --> 01:10:12,624
Nevertheless, I prefer that you
do not browse any longer.
888
01:10:12,834 --> 01:10:14,334
Yeah, well it's a free country.
889
01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,545
Yeah, if these people can browse,
we can browse.
890
01:10:16,754 --> 01:10:19,173
Nicky, let's show the
lady we're browsers, huh?
891
01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:21,675
Hey, look at us. We're browsing.
892
01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:26,680
- Hey, ducks in heat.
- Please! That's 18th century.
893
01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:29,183
Folks, better keep browsing
or she'll kick you out of here.
894
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:33,187
- Look at us. We're browsing.
- Is this an odd or an end?
895
01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:36,732
Hey lady, if I buy two odds,
will you show us your end?
896
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:38,525
Ohh!
897
01:10:40,028 --> 01:10:43,780
Security. Security! Security!
898
01:10:47,619 --> 01:10:50,495
- Yes?
- Mr. Barlow, please.
899
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:54,791
- What is it?
- Do you know a Monty Capuletti?
900
01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:57,294
- Yes.
- Well, he's on his way upstairs.
901
01:10:57,503 --> 01:10:59,379
Is he?
902
01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:10,349
Gentlemen, let's shelve these
petty matters for the moment.
903
01:11:10,558 --> 01:11:13,852
The son-in-law of our late, beloved
president is on his way to join us,
904
01:11:14,062 --> 01:11:17,689
so let's just sit around
and smoke and drink.
905
01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:19,691
Brent, Brice!
906
01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:24,494
Make up your mind.
Which one of us do you like?
907
01:11:25,823 --> 01:11:27,532
Down the hatch.
908
01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:34,748
Mr. Barlow, this joker
says he knows you.
909
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:37,834
This joker is part of
the Monahan family, Gus.
910
01:11:38,044 --> 01:11:40,420
Oh, sorry, sir.
911
01:11:42,966 --> 01:11:46,760
People, this is Monty Capuletti
and his friend, Nick Marino.
912
01:11:46,970 --> 01:11:50,889
- No need to stand.
- Monty, what brings you here?
913
01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,892
Nicky was lookin' to get a shirt,
but we couldn't find any.
914
01:11:54,102 --> 01:11:55,894
You got nothin' in this
store nobody wants to buy.
915
01:11:56,104 --> 01:11:58,772
Monahan's has an upscale clientele.
916
01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:02,276
All our gentlemen customers
are very conscious of style.
917
01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:04,403
Men don't have style.
918
01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:07,489
Men wear clothes. Women have style.
919
01:12:08,491 --> 01:12:10,409
What sort of shirt were you looking for?
920
01:12:10,618 --> 01:12:12,411
A regular shirt.
921
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,871
See this shirt? Every guy on
our block's got one of these.
922
01:12:15,081 --> 01:12:17,374
You guys don't dress regular.
923
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:19,376
You got on vests. It's hot as hell here.
924
01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:22,879
These gentlemen and ladies were
handpicked to work for me
925
01:12:23,089 --> 01:12:25,181
and dress accordingly.
926
01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:28,599
Where'd you find these guys, Noah's Ark?
927
01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:33,473
And you. There's a lot of
trouble finding your fly.
928
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:36,935
I really must apologize.
929
01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:38,687
Monty, I've made a mistake.
930
01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:41,940
I didn't realize what
your true talents were.
931
01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:47,446
- Oh, no.
- You have such fashion sense.
932
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,282
Everything we've been buying, wrong.
All wrong.
933
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:51,450
Tell us more.
934
01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:53,785
- Your pants.
- Our pants.
935
01:12:53,995 --> 01:12:55,829
You gotta have pants with lots of room
936
01:12:56,039 --> 01:12:57,914
so when you sit down, they don't split.
937
01:12:58,124 --> 01:13:00,083
And zippers that work
easy so you can fix your shorts.
938
01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:01,335
Know what I mean?
939
01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:05,380
Les slacks blousants avec le zip.
940
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:06,798
Whatever you say.
941
01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:07,799
What about shoes?
942
01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:09,426
Well, you need shoes
that go on and off easy.
943
01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,971
You know, no shoe horn.
And no laces. They slow you up.
944
01:13:13,181 --> 01:13:14,973
Yes, I see that.
945
01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:21,480
Chunky, black mailman oxfords,
with adorable little white cotton socks.
946
01:13:21,689 --> 01:13:24,483
Big blousy bowling shirts.
947
01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:27,861
"Mel. The regular guy look."
948
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:29,154
What?
949
01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:32,491
You can't be this crazy.
He looks like a rummage sale.
950
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:33,784
I know what I'm doing.
951
01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:36,495
This is just the opportunity
I've been waiting for.
952
01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:39,873
You know, the boredom of unemployment
could really drive a man to drink.
953
01:13:40,083 --> 01:13:40,957
Yeah, so could you too.
954
01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:42,959
Hey, take it easy, Nicky, will ya?
Take it easy.
955
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:45,045
Monty, we need a mind like yours.
956
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:50,050
I'd like to offer you a position
as fashion consultant to Monahan's.
957
01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:51,134
Who me?
958
01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:54,678
I'm no fashion consultant.
What's the matter with you?
959
01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:56,390
Take the job. Take the job.
960
01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,517
The first thing we do is
we fire that broad downstairs
961
01:13:58,726 --> 01:14:01,029
that stopped us from browsing.
962
01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,023
Get me Sergio. Track down Alfonso.
Draw up a budget for Mr. Capuletti.
963
01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:07,567
Let's leak the story to the press.
964
01:14:17,245 --> 01:14:18,036
Hello.
965
01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:20,956
- Mr. Capuletti, please.
- It's for you. It's your wife.
966
01:14:24,043 --> 01:14:25,919
Hey Rose, they took all my clothes!
967
01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:28,004
When are you coming home?
968
01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:30,298
How can I come home?
I got nothing to wear.
969
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,759
I'll call you later. Here, take this.
970
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,303
- Turn away, please.
- Next shirt.
971
01:14:35,513 --> 01:14:37,305
Take it easy, honey. I got no good side.
972
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:39,933
Could you please turn away?
973
01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:43,311
Scrape all the gum off the
soles and analyze the shoes.
974
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:46,815
- Should these shorts be duplicated?
- Yes, duplicated and fumigated.
975
01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,317
Mr. Barlow, I have the
blacks for the shirts.
976
01:14:49,527 --> 01:14:51,903
That's Mr. Capuletti's department now.
977
01:14:53,948 --> 01:14:57,325
I have midnight black,
raven black, licorice black...
978
01:14:57,535 --> 01:14:59,619
If Nicky was here,
you'd have black-and-blue black.
979
01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:01,663
Twelve inches.
980
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:04,082
Boy, you're way off.
981
01:15:12,049 --> 01:15:15,469
Ladies and gentlemen.
Compliments of Monty Capuletti,
982
01:15:15,678 --> 01:15:18,972
invitations to the premiere of
Monahan's "The Regular Guy Look."
983
01:15:19,182 --> 01:15:20,974
Barkeeper, I'll have
a Perrier with a twist.
984
01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:23,977
I'm sorry. I only have Perrier on draft.
985
01:15:24,187 --> 01:15:26,396
Nicholas, Patrick,
how good to see you again.
986
01:15:26,606 --> 01:15:29,483
I know what you're thinking.
Why am I slumming?
987
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:33,487
Well, I'm here to hand-deliver
these invitations to you.
988
01:15:33,696 --> 01:15:36,031
But I'm not sure if you should attend.
989
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:39,075
We're his friends.
We'll be there. Gimme.
990
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,369
Well, it's your decision
and I'm sure your
991
01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:44,039
intentions are the best,
but think about it.
992
01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:46,708
It's not good for Monty to associate
993
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:49,461
with people who do what he used to do.
994
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:53,006
- We would protect him from that.
- He's talking about us.
995
01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:56,009
If you really are Monty's friends,
you'll stop making it hard for him.
996
01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:58,512
Look at you. You're smoking, drinking.
997
01:15:58,721 --> 01:16:01,014
We're in a bar.
What do you expect us to do?
998
01:16:01,224 --> 01:16:03,016
You must think I'm stupid or something.
999
01:16:03,226 --> 01:16:05,018
I look like I just got off a boat?
1000
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:06,686
I know what you're trying to do.
1001
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,022
Go ahead, get out of here you half
a sissy before I give you a slap.
1002
01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:10,941
Hey Nicky, take it easy, will ya?
1003
01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:16,613
Nick, you do want Monty to
have the money, don't you?
1004
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,078
Hey, what do you let it get to you for?
1005
01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:24,704
He just wants the money.
1006
01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:27,832
But what bothers me is he's right.
1007
01:16:28,042 --> 01:16:29,251
So he's right.
1008
01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:32,546
Think he's right?
I mean, Nicky's his coach.
1009
01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:35,549
He tells him eat fruit,
tells him to exercise.
1010
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:39,886
It's not what he says, it's what we do.
It's peer pressure.
1011
01:16:41,264 --> 01:16:44,099
Oh, yeah. Our lives are attractive.
1012
01:16:57,071 --> 01:16:59,197
I guess Nicky and Paddy won't show.
1013
01:17:01,534 --> 01:17:03,451
They didn't call, either, huh?
1014
01:17:03,661 --> 01:17:05,870
- No.
- Tonight, we present
1015
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,415
our tribute to the American silhouette.
1016
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:12,519
Ladies and gentlemen,
"The Regular Guy Look."
1017
01:17:16,591 --> 01:17:20,468
Jonathan and Billy are wearing
the regular guy leisure look for fall.
1018
01:17:20,678 --> 01:17:23,471
Bold print, double-knit polyester pants
1019
01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:27,017
with totally
non-coordinated print shirts.
1020
01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:32,822
Pie is wearing the Italian
restaurant look.
1021
01:17:34,609 --> 01:17:37,319
Perfect for picnics where you
can be your own tablecloth.
1022
01:17:37,528 --> 01:17:40,989
Tie has the bowling alley sportif look.
1023
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:43,992
Next up is Peter, wearing
1024
01:17:44,201 --> 01:17:47,454
the regular guy lounge look in black
1025
01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:49,664
on black, on black.
1026
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:55,045
I think they like it.
Everyone's smiling.
1027
01:17:58,132 --> 01:18:02,510
You like to gamble, take a chance
on the regular guy robe.
1028
01:18:10,895 --> 01:18:14,564
American classic,
iridescent blue sharkskin.
1029
01:18:20,154 --> 01:18:22,530
That suit. Look at that suit.
1030
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,616
Have you seen the suit...
1031
01:18:27,453 --> 01:18:28,536
And now...
1032
01:18:28,746 --> 01:18:32,916
I'd like to introduce the man
responsible for this evening.
1033
01:18:33,125 --> 01:18:36,002
Mr. Monty Capuletti!
1034
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:38,288
Take a bow, Monty.
1035
01:19:00,152 --> 01:19:02,570
Fatty. Eating again, fatty, fatty?
1036
01:19:02,780 --> 01:19:05,573
Fatty, fatty. Eating
again, fatty, fatty?
1037
01:19:05,783 --> 01:19:09,077
Fatty, fatty, fatty...
1038
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:11,538
- Who put this in here?
- I was only trying to help.
1039
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:12,914
Well don't help.
1040
01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:15,166
I'm tired of people trying to help me.
1041
01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:20,547
- Monty, calm down.
- What are you lookin' at?
1042
01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:22,549
Go upstairs and clean your room.
It's a pigsty.
1043
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,551
Leave me alone!
1044
01:19:25,261 --> 01:19:29,097
- I know what you're thinkin' too.
- Oh, god.
1045
01:19:29,306 --> 01:19:31,474
All I ever wanted was a happy family.
1046
01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:34,102
That's all I ever asked for,
a happy family.
1047
01:19:34,311 --> 01:19:38,148
A family that loved each other.
I never cared about anything else.
1048
01:19:40,651 --> 01:19:43,153
Stop it, will ya.
I can't take it no more.
1049
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,489
Money caused all this.
1050
01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:51,119
I don't wanna be rich.
We're not supposed to be rich.
1051
01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:54,497
We don't look rich, we don't
talk rich, we don't smell rich!
1052
01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:58,626
No more rich! I want our house
to be the way it was.
1053
01:20:04,216 --> 01:20:07,510
Hey, fatty, fatty.
1054
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,388
- Monty, where are you going?
- I'll be at Louie's.
1055
01:20:11,307 --> 01:20:12,265
Gettin' drunk!
1056
01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:14,392
Take this, Julio. Go and get her.
1057
01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:16,311
She's your wife. Go ahead, go get her.
1058
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:17,896
Right, she's my wife.
1059
01:20:18,105 --> 01:20:19,898
A gun. I don't want a gun.
1060
01:20:20,107 --> 01:20:21,733
Go back and get her, Julio.
1061
01:20:21,942 --> 01:20:23,067
Go back and get her.
1062
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,403
I must've been nuts to do this for...
1063
01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:27,405
Oh, look who's here.
1064
01:20:27,615 --> 01:20:30,200
I want her back, man. She's mine.
1065
01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:32,285
Put that thing away.
You'll hurt yourself, will ya.
1066
01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:33,912
Look, I'm in no mood for you.
1067
01:20:34,079 --> 01:20:35,705
In fact, there is no mood for you.
1068
01:20:44,924 --> 01:20:47,509
Nurse! Where is she?
1069
01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,053
They're never here when you need 'em.
1070
01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:55,850
Boy, oh, boy.
1071
01:20:57,102 --> 01:21:00,313
Oh, nurse, you're here.
Where were you, huh?
1072
01:21:00,523 --> 01:21:02,899
Three hundred and fifty
bucks a day, where are ya?
1073
01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:04,400
Where are ya?
1074
01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:08,363
Look at this. I'm dying of thirst here.
1075
01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:09,781
Hey, how ya doin'?
1076
01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:11,825
I heard about your unfortunate incident.
1077
01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:13,785
Where were you when I needed you?
1078
01:21:14,537 --> 01:21:16,287
I came to make up. I'm sorry.
1079
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:19,332
All right, Nicky, we're friends.
We're friends, all right?
1080
01:21:20,918 --> 01:21:22,877
It must be tough eatin', huh?
1081
01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:26,381
Eatin'. You should see me
go to the bathroom.
1082
01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:31,344
- Monty! Hi, Nicky. We're back.
- Rose, you're here.
1083
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:36,349
How's our patient today?
Oh, he looks much better.
1084
01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:37,600
How did you sleep?
1085
01:21:37,810 --> 01:21:39,853
Are you kiddin'? I was up all night.
1086
01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:42,188
Well, let's look at the chart.
1087
01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:46,359
He was hit in the fleshy
area of the gluteus maximus.
1088
01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:48,862
Ah, you're wrong. He got me in the ass.
1089
01:21:49,071 --> 01:21:51,865
No vital areas were damaged.
1090
01:21:52,074 --> 01:21:55,243
- No doubt he'll recover.
- How long do I have to be here?
1091
01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:58,913
Let me see now. Perhaps we
might have to keep you here
1092
01:21:59,123 --> 01:22:02,417
for four, maybe five weeks.
1093
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:04,878
Rose, I'm not hangin'
here for five weeks.
1094
01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:06,880
At least I know you're
gonna be all right.
1095
01:22:07,089 --> 01:22:09,257
I gotta pick up my mother
at the beauty parlor, all right.
1096
01:22:09,466 --> 01:22:10,884
So long, Nicky.
1097
01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:16,180
How are you feeling today?
1098
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,433
You're looking good.
1099
01:22:21,228 --> 01:22:23,354
Oh, daddy!
1100
01:22:25,024 --> 01:22:28,234
I never realized how
much Julio loved me.
1101
01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:32,906
It was the most romantic
moment of my life
1102
01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:35,783
when he almost killed you.
1103
01:22:36,744 --> 01:22:38,912
Can I call you "dad" now?
1104
01:22:39,872 --> 01:22:41,080
Take it easy!
1105
01:22:41,290 --> 01:22:43,625
These are new stitches, you know.
1106
01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:46,127
Why can't you forgive and forget?
1107
01:22:46,337 --> 01:22:49,631
How could I forget?
Every time I sit down, I'll think of him.
1108
01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:51,799
Monty, how are you?
1109
01:22:52,343 --> 01:22:55,219
What an insensitive question.
You've been shot.
1110
01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:58,097
Well, this'll cheer you up. We're a hit.
1111
01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,600
What are you talking about?
They all laughed at me.
1112
01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:03,603
But we're laughing now,
all the way to my bank.
1113
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,688
Look at this. What?
1114
01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,652
We put the clothes in the window,
and the kids went crazy for it.
1115
01:23:10,861 --> 01:23:14,155
I don't understand it,
but, well, who cares?
1116
01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:16,658
The regular guy look is a big success.
1117
01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:18,326
You did the regular guy look?
1118
01:23:18,535 --> 01:23:21,120
I just bought two of your
short-sleeve pajama tops.
1119
01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:25,124
- Rose, I gotta get out of here.
- Daddy, this is great!
1120
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:28,628
By the time you get out of the hospital,
we'll have the money.
1121
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:30,630
And you'll lose weight too.
1122
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:34,634
I saw the food. Monty, she's right.
Your ship's come in.
1123
01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:37,053
But my pier collapsed.
1124
01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:40,640
All right, everyone out.
Visiting hours are over. Please!
1125
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:44,227
We have sick men in here.
You too, doctor. Please.
1126
01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:47,130
Excuse me, the two of you.
1127
01:23:47,456 --> 01:23:50,650
This is a hospital.
Hey, come on, let's go.
1128
01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:55,697
My good... Excuse me.
Will you get out? Let's go, let's go!
1129
01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:56,864
Daddy!
1130
01:23:57,408 --> 01:23:59,742
- How are you, Mr. Manucci?
- Bye, Monty.
1131
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:01,953
Martha's gonna take
good care of you today.
1132
01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:03,663
How was your lunch?
1133
01:24:03,872 --> 01:24:07,000
I see you haven't eaten much of it.
I don't blame you, honey.
1134
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:08,376
They're trying to make
everybody up here sicker...
1135
01:24:08,585 --> 01:24:11,129
While I'm up here, check my oil.
1136
01:24:32,693 --> 01:24:33,651
Jesus.
1137
01:24:33,861 --> 01:24:36,279
We trust you had a pleasant swim, sir.
1138
01:24:36,488 --> 01:24:37,196
Your shirt.
1139
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:39,115
I don't want that shirt.
Are you kiddin'?
1140
01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:41,159
But sir, you should be
dressed to your station.
1141
01:24:41,368 --> 01:24:42,827
I don't want to wear
that shirt, all right!
1142
01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:48,916
Yes? This is Mr. Capuletti's
business advisor.
1143
01:24:49,460 --> 01:24:53,421
What can I do for you?
Better yet, what can you do for me?
1144
01:24:54,548 --> 01:24:55,590
Silver is down?
1145
01:24:55,799 --> 01:24:58,548
Call the Lone Ranger.
He'll cheer him up.
1146
01:25:00,304 --> 01:25:01,846
Hello.
1147
01:25:02,056 --> 01:25:04,432
Oil wells? Very interesting.
1148
01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:08,936
Meatballs, sir? No.
1149
01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:14,067
- Madam?
- No.
1150
01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:22,325
Meatball, sir?
1151
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,327
Where's the pistachio nuts?
1152
01:25:24,536 --> 01:25:26,370
There's too much trouble
with the shells.
1153
01:25:26,580 --> 01:25:29,373
Oh, yeah? I like the shells.
1154
01:25:29,583 --> 01:25:31,459
Hmm.
1155
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:37,423
You got any salami or provolone?
1156
01:25:38,092 --> 01:25:40,468
Salami, salami. Provolone.
1157
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:41,886
Give it to him.
1158
01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:45,389
Why don't you get some sun
and come back next week?
1159
01:25:46,100 --> 01:25:48,059
Julio?
1160
01:25:49,019 --> 01:25:50,603
Julio?
1161
01:25:53,524 --> 01:25:55,316
Julio.
1162
01:25:57,027 --> 01:25:59,028
Julio.
1163
01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:04,450
Oh, you bad boy.
You were hiding from me.
1164
01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,994
- No.
- I found you now.
1165
01:26:08,038 --> 01:26:10,915
- You gonna play with me?
- Not again.
1166
01:26:11,125 --> 01:26:14,919
- Look what I wore just for you.
- Allison, I'm exhausted.
1167
01:26:15,129 --> 01:26:16,921
Chapter six, "El Joyo."
1168
01:26:17,131 --> 01:26:19,924
- You hired a captain?
- Yep. Everything's taken care of.
1169
01:26:20,134 --> 01:26:23,427
- He know how to get to Coney Island?
- Yeah, I told him. It's easy.
1170
01:26:24,388 --> 01:26:26,013
Here, I'll show you.
1171
01:26:31,562 --> 01:26:34,981
You go north up the Atlantic,
west into the Hudson.
1172
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:37,483
Come to the statue of that
broad, you hang a right.
1173
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:40,486
Takes 20 minutes,
a half hour with traffic.
1174
01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:44,365
Tell him to shove off as soon as I
sign those papers with Scrappleton.
1175
01:26:47,098 --> 01:26:48,494
What's that, a fire drill?
1176
01:26:48,704 --> 01:26:52,248
- It's lunch. Come on.
- I'm starving. Let's go.
1177
01:26:57,588 --> 01:27:00,423
Oh, daddy, I just saw
the cutest little dingy.
1178
01:27:00,966 --> 01:27:03,176
Allison, you're married to Julio.
1179
01:27:04,636 --> 01:27:05,887
This is the life, huh?
1180
01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:08,347
And they say money can't buy happiness.
1181
01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,933
At least you can pick
your own kind of misery.
1182
01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:15,855
Clive, you're the only one
who hasn't seen my stitches.
1183
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:17,440
Want to take a look?
1184
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:34,540
Excuse me.
1185
01:27:36,960 --> 01:27:39,629
Mr. Daniel Scrappleton, sir.
1186
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:42,632
Hey, Scrappy, show me
that dotted line, huh?
1187
01:27:42,841 --> 01:27:45,134
And Mrs. Kathleen Monahan.
1188
01:27:46,345 --> 01:27:48,221
Oh, no!
1189
01:27:50,307 --> 01:27:51,724
My god! It's mother.
1190
01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:55,061
She's back from the dead.
She's better than Houdini.
1191
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:57,647
I've never felt better in my life!
1192
01:27:57,856 --> 01:27:59,565
Grandma, did you bring me anything?
1193
01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:01,150
A hat just like mine.
1194
01:28:01,401 --> 01:28:04,570
You never felt better?
You were in a plane crash.
1195
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:07,698
- There was no crash.
- I made up the whole thing.
1196
01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:08,866
Why?
1197
01:28:09,076 --> 01:28:11,702
Rose, I did it for you
and the grandchildren.
1198
01:28:11,912 --> 01:28:15,039
Someone had to stop Monty's debauchery.
1199
01:28:15,249 --> 01:28:17,166
He was going to hell in a hand basket.
1200
01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:18,167
Yes, quite true.
1201
01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:20,169
- And to test you as well.
- You failed!
1202
01:28:20,379 --> 01:28:23,172
- I'll kill her. I'll kill her!
- Take it easy.
1203
01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:25,258
I'll kill her! I'll kill her!
1204
01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:27,260
I'll kill her! Let me go!
1205
01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:31,055
Boy, you got some
nerve still being alive.
1206
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:33,557
I went through this
whole thing for nothin'?
1207
01:28:33,767 --> 01:28:38,646
No, not for nothing, Monty.
You proved yourself to me.
1208
01:28:40,691 --> 01:28:44,110
And to make sure that you stay
on the straight and narrow,
1209
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:47,196
I'm moving in with you.
1210
01:29:05,215 --> 01:29:08,092
- What's for dessert?
- Spumoni, miss.
1211
01:29:08,719 --> 01:29:10,594
Your favorite, Monty.
1212
01:29:10,804 --> 01:29:14,098
Shrimpton, none for Mr. Capuletti.
1213
01:29:14,308 --> 01:29:16,600
- Right, mom.
- And Shrimpton.
1214
01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:19,145
Mr. Capuletti is
skipping the coffee too.
1215
01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:21,689
It'll keep me awake, right, mom?
1216
01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,024
Right, dear.
1217
01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:27,653
And Shrimpton, I noticed a bottle
of beer in the refrigerator.
1218
01:29:27,863 --> 01:29:30,448
- Get rid of it.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.
1219
01:29:31,533 --> 01:29:33,034
Right again, mom.
1220
01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,121
Well, I guess that's it for me.
1221
01:29:37,331 --> 01:29:41,208
I think I'll go out and walk
off all these vegetables.
1222
01:29:41,752 --> 01:29:46,213
And after that it's bedtime.
1223
01:29:47,257 --> 01:29:49,759
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, sweetheart.
1224
01:29:51,261 --> 01:29:53,637
- And Shrimpton?
- Yes, sir.
1225
01:29:53,847 --> 01:29:56,640
You better get rid of that
glazed fruit too. It's fattening.
1226
01:29:56,850 --> 01:29:58,517
Certainly, sir.
1227
01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:02,688
- Good night, Belinda.
- Good night, daddy.
1228
01:30:04,274 --> 01:30:05,649
Good night, mom.
1229
01:30:08,320 --> 01:30:12,782
Hey, mom. That perfume
is driving me crazy.
1230
01:30:14,826 --> 01:30:17,745
I think I married Rose
to get to you, huh?
1231
01:30:24,294 --> 01:30:26,253
Good night, all.
1232
01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:32,218
Rose, he's a changed man.
1233
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:37,098
- Finally, you've got a good marriage.
- We had a good marriage before.
1234
01:30:37,307 --> 01:30:41,310
Yes, but now you're married
to a human being.
1235
01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:45,731
I don't mind telling you,
I'm proud of what I did.
1236
01:30:46,441 --> 01:30:48,234
It wasn't easy,
1237
01:30:48,443 --> 01:30:51,904
but now I've got him under control!
1238
01:30:52,864 --> 01:30:54,657
Where's the pizza? I'm starving!
1239
01:30:54,866 --> 01:30:57,701
- Monty, where you been?
- We're keeping it warm for you.
1240
01:30:58,870 --> 01:31:01,580
Wait a minute.
Don't get grease on the cards.
1241
01:31:03,834 --> 01:31:05,793
Gimme the red pepper, will you?
1242
01:31:07,337 --> 01:31:08,754
Gimme a napkin.
1243
01:31:08,964 --> 01:31:11,799
- So what'd you tell her tonight?
- Tonight?
1244
01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:15,305
I told her her perfume
is driving me crazy.
1245
01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:20,808
Then I told her I married
Rose to get to her.
1246
01:31:22,894 --> 01:31:24,770
Gimme a beer.
1247
01:31:24,980 --> 01:31:27,982
My mother-in-law.
For years I wouldn't kiss her face,
1248
01:31:28,191 --> 01:31:30,511
I ended up kissin' her ass.96649
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