Original subtitles

(gentle bouncy music)

- Okay, we'll do the plant watering pointer first,

are you almost ready with the set up Nigel?

- Seconds away.

- And then we'll do the bit about using mayonnaise

as hair conditioner, and we'll finish with the pointer

on how to clean the cat.

- About shampooing cats, I tried it in the lab,

it's not a good idea.

- Ooh, clearly.

- Kitty tray, powder, no cat, no cat.

- Okay, how do I look?

- Wunderbar.

- Alright chaps, we'll try one.

(bell ringing)

- [Director] Okay here we go.

- And now it's time for our first Pru Pointer of the week,

this question comes from one of our big fans,

Henrietta from Houston.

Hey sweetie, tell Earl that the crew just love

the latest batch of chili.

Henrietta writes, dear Prudence, Earl and I are going

bass fishing, the cats can fend for themselves,

but I don't know how my poor plants

are going to get watered, help.

Houston, we have a solution.

Fill a bucket with water. (water splashing)

tie some cotton twine around a brick,

put the brick in the water.

Take the end of the twine and put it in the soil

of the plants.

Now the cotton sucks up the water like a straw

and provides a steady supply of water

to the (yawns) cut.

(bell ringing) - Cut.

- Speaking of sucking is this segment,

like totally tanking.

- No, not at all I --

- I agree, I think the pointers fascinating.

- Oh yeah, I get it, the pointers fine, but I'm tanking.

- That's not what I'm saying.

- Oh no there's no tankage, not at all, zero.

- That's what you're thinking.

And you know you're right, I've just been off my game

for a while.

I'm just feeling a bit, I don't know, a bit --

- Distracted. - Disconnected.

- Exhausted.

- It's that obvious.

- You work too hard, your mother was the same way

when she wrote the Pru Pointers column.

She lived to work.

- (scoffs) My mother worked to avoid living.

- If the shoe fits sweetie.

- I am not my mother Jeffrey.

- You're getting there, it's why I'm going

to have to fire you.

- Fire me.

- You're the cornerstone of my empire Prudence,

my cash cow, I can't afford to have you burn out.

Finish the segment and you're gone,

for a week.

- [Pru] Are you off your meds again?

- You leave tomorrow, take the company plane.

- To where?

- To my lodge in Wyoming.

- I'm a New Yorker, what am I gonna do in Wyoming,

stare at the bloody mountains?

- Why not, stare at the mountains, sleep, read,

start painting again.

(plane engine rumbling)

(muffled airport announcements)

(people chattering)

- Hello, I'm Prudence McCoy, and you must be Ruth.

- Yes I am, nice to meet you Miss. McCoy.

- Oh no, please call me Prudence.

- So, how was your flight?

- Torture, four hours in that plane felt like four days

and I wanted to sleep but I couldn't of course,

I had no appetite, well I never do when I fly,

and I had seen the movie the night before.

Coming down to land the plane was shaking so badly

I thought it was gonna come apart at the seams.

It's why I loathe vacations, they're nerve wracking.

(buzzer sounds)

Bags already, in New York I have to wait a week for these.

- Were there other passengers on the plane?

- No, no, I was alone.

- I know this is a ridiculous amount of luggage,

but I'm a terrible traveler,

I always have to pack everything so I can decide

what not to wear.

Hold on, those squeaky wheels are driving me nuts.

(gentle tinkling music)

- What is that?

- Olive oil, extra virgin, good for rusty metal

and sticky locks, low acidity,

delicious on salads and vegetables.

Now try it again.

Pru Pointer number 86,

I got it from an old Italian plumber.

(gentle, bright music)

The sky is just so amazing.

Living in New York it's easy to forget there is one.

- Well you should take advantage of it while you're here,

especially the sunrise and sunset.

I know a beautiful place to view that.

- Would you take me out there sometime?

- Well I'm meeting some people out there later,

I could rearrange it, then we could stop on the way.

- That seems like the perfect antidote to jet lag.

(birds chirping)

- Tassajaro's been a sacred ground to my people

since time immemorial.

- It's beautiful land.

- We come here for ceremonies, fasting.

- What's the fabric on the trees?

- Those are prayer ties.

We bundle our prayers in an offering of tobacco

to be carried to the creator by the spirits.

- Was Bart Andrews a member of your tribe?

- Oh no, no the Andrews family has owned Tassajaro

for 140 years.

- Isn't this your peoples land?

- Well yeah that's the way we look at it,

but the government decided that they owned it

and they sold most of it off to farmers and ranchers.

But when the Andrews family bought Tassajaro

they promised it would not be disturbed.

- Hmm, looks like they kept their promise.

- Yes they did, especially Bart.

He was like family to us, he loved Tassajaro

as much as we do, in fact we're holding

a commemoration of his death here next week.

(car horn beeping)

Thanks for coming early.

Jean Philippe Andrews, Doug Craig,

this is Prudence McCoy, she'll be staying at the lodge

for a few days.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- Jean Philippe is Bart's son,

and Doug's the lawyer for Andrew's Land Trust

that takes care of Tassajaro,

we're planning Bart's memorial together.

- I've got some ideas about that Ruth,

come and talk with me for a moment.

- Do you mind? - No.

- Excuse us mademoiselle.

- So if you're staying at the lodge,

you must be the Prudence McCoy.

- The only one I know.

- I met Jeff Simcox when I handled a zoning matter

out here for him.

You'd just taken over your mothers column,

he said you'd be even better then her.

- Oh, I'm not sure about that, different I hope.

- Ah, well my father was a suspenders, cigars,

single malt scotch kind of lawyer,

I always wanted to be different too.

- So you don't wear suspenders?

- Or smoke cigars.

I do however enjoy my scotch, would you like to have

a drink while your out here.

- I'd love that.

- Good.

- If I can fit it in to my days

of doing absolutely nothing.

(phone ringing)

- Excuse me, I should take this.

Excuse me, hello.

- So, Doug Craig.

- He's a nice man, he grew up here.

My son JR worked for him for a summer,

he's a long time friend of Bart Andrews,

like a son to him really, very well liked, respected,

divorced.

(both laugh)

- Was I that obvious?

- We shouldn't have stayed so long,

would you like to get something to drink?

- Oh, I'd love that, I'm so thirsty.

- Been coming to this place since the day

I turned 21, met my husband Russell here.

(diners murmuring and chattering)

Hey Gord, Kathy, Eddie.

- Hey Ruth.

- Prudence McCoy, she's staying at the lodge.

This is Eddie, he's a detective

with the police department.

I'll get us some drinks.

- Welcome to Wyoming.

- You're a Red Sox fan?

- Born in South El Paso.

- I live in New York.

- I won't even ask.

- Hmm, you're a clever man.

- Yeah, for a Red Sox fan.

- What do you shave with anyway, a chain saw?

- What are you talkin' about?

- You have a serious case of razor burn.

- And?

- Well I hate to see a man in pain.

- Relax, I'm not in pain.

- Oh right, and selling Babe Ruth

wasn't the worst mistake in the history

of professional sports.

- That's history, the curse of the Bambino is over.

- You wish.

- I don't have to wish, I've got

the World Series 2004, got the World Series in 2007.

- Have you got some oatmeal at home?

- I hate oatmeal.

- You're not gonna eat it,

you're gonna rub it on your face.

- Rub it on my face?

- That's right, three times a day,

leave it on for about 15 minutes,

razor burn will be gone in the morning.

Oh, and one more thing --

- No, that's okay, you've done enough.

- Pop for a new razor every three to four years.

(gentle bouncy music)

- I started working at the lodge when I was in high school,

it's the only real job I had,

and then when my husband passed away

I moved in full time.

- This room makes Carnegie Hall look small.

- Yeah, we call it the great room,

Mr Simcox designed it himself.

- Oh, of course he did, Jeffrey loves big,

and bigger, and biggest.

- I'll show you your room, it's right over here.

Mr Simcox wanted you to stay in this room,

he said it would be perfect for your visit.

- Well he's determined to see me relaxed.

- This lodge is wonderful for that.

- That's my mother.

- Yes this was her favorite room when she stayed here.

- She stayed here?

- Many times after your father passed on, you didn't know?

- No, but that's no surprise,

my mother was always a bit of a mystery.

I mean she never talked to me about herself,

or about anything really.

- Yeah, I always used to try to talk to my son

but he hated hearing his mother telling stories.

- I would have loved to have heard my mothers stories.

(gong chiming)

- Excuse me Prudence.

- Who is this woman Jeffrey?

Well I'm not sure that she is my mother you twit.

My mother didn't go on vacations.

I mean she hardly ever smiled,

and she definitely never had any fun,

well at least not when I was around.

And how come you never told me

that she came out here.

Well of course it's important to me.

Because she never told me.

Look forget the alien who's pretending to be my mother,

what do you know about Douglas Craig Esquire?

I just ran into him today in town.

Well is there anything I should know about him?

Girlfriend, boyfriend, ax murderer?

I don't know, I might call him, if I get bored.

Who are you, Yenta the matchmaker.

Goodbye.

(light bouncy music)

Okay, I'm officially bored.

(phone dialing)

Doug, er yeah it's Prudence.

Yes I got the flowers they're gorgeous.

Well I thought that, I mean if you want too,

I would love to have dinner with you.

- [JR On Phone] Mom, I need to talk to you

as soon as possible, you've got to stop what's going on

before it's too late.

Just remember, I'm doing this for you mom,

for you, for all of us.

I love you.

(phone beeping) (phone dialing)

- [Ruth] JR it's mom, I'm worried about you sweetie.

I want to talk to you, even if it's just for a minute,

and I want to hear your voice, just call me back,

please. (phone beeping)

- Prudence it's none of your business,

stare at the mountains, read a book, get a life.

Ruth, you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

- Ruth you're not fine.

- It's my son.

- [JR On Phone] Mom, I'm working on this magazine article,

and it's turned into an amazing story.

I need to talk to you as soon as possible,

you've got to stop what's going on before it's too late.

Just remember, I'm doing this for you mom,

for you, for all of us, I love you.

- You know anything about the article he was writing?

- No he never talked to me about his work.

Moved away to a cabin, traveled a lot, wouldn't call.

- You could drive out to his cabin,

make sure he's alright.

- No, I can't leave the lodge and my guests.

- Yes you can, I mean this is about family.

Besides your guests would like to see some Wyoming.

And don't worry about the lodge, we'll just lock the door.

- When he was younger,

I thought I knew what was best for him

we argued about everything.

Could you come in for a moment,

just to help me break the ice?

- Of course.

(knocking on door)

- JR.

(knocking on door)

JR it's mom.

JR.

Chains on the door, cars here, he must be home.

- Maybe he's asleep.

- Let's try the mud room.

JR, it's mom.

He's not here.

- Would you like to wait?

- No but I think I'll straighten up his room,

he's got a month of dirty clothes up there, do you mind?

- No, of course not.

So there I was with this humongous blob

of bubblegum stuck in my hair and I was convinced

I was going to have to get my head shaved.

But my mother asked Mr Forsythe, the man who ran her lab

to see if he could find a way to get the gum out,

and he discovered peanut butter did the trick.

Smooth, not chunky mercifully.

- You know Jeff Simcox was right.

- About what?

- About everything.

He said you were charming, you'd make me laugh.

- When did you talk to Jeffrey?

- As soon as I got back to the office.

I hadn't talked to him for years,

but he was kind enough to take my call.

- Well that must have been after I called him,

and picked his brain about you.

- Ah, and you decided to have drinks with my anyway.

- I like to live on the wild side.

- Wyoming's a great place to do that.

- This is incredible, I have seen you twice in one day,

I've become a very lucky man,

but not as lucky as you mon ami.

- Not even close.

- My fiancee loves your program mademoiselle.

She threatened to call of the wedding

if I didn't somehow get your autograph.

I know it's tres gauche, but could you?

- Of course.

- You've made me a hero, at least for tonight.

Merci beaucoup.

- When exactly did men stop kissing women's hands, and why?

I mean it's so perfectly civilized.

- Well Jean Philippe is from France,

he likes to be tres cosmopolitan,

especially with beautiful women.

- Bart's son was born in France?

- Oh yes, see Jean Philippe's mother, Jean Vieve

was Bart's French mistress.

When he broke off the affair, rather badly I'm afraid,

she didn't tell him she was pregnant.

And even when Bart found out he had a son,

she wouldn't let him see him.

- That must have been very hard for him.

- Yeah, Jean Philippe was his only child,

it broke his heart, but six months before Bart died

of lung cancer, Jean Vieve died in a car accident

and he sent me over to France to bring his boy home,

and that, that meant everything to Bart.

To have his son beside him when he died.

- Speaking of sons, you know Ruth's son don't you?

- JR yeah, I've known him for years.

- Nice kid?

- Yeah, JR's got a good heart.

He's made some stupid choices that have landed him

in hot water more then once, but we kept his record clean.

Why do you ask?

- He's just dropped out of sight,

he's not returning his mothers calls.

- No idea where he is?

- None.

Is there anything you know that she should

be concerned about?

- I haven't spoken to JR in months,

I was hoping he'd cleaned up his act.

- That hot water you mentioned, how hot was it?

- Very.

(gentle tinkling music)

- Oh good this is the police station.

- Ma'am.

- In New York most police stations look like bomb shelters.

This building looked so quaint

I thought it might be another boutique or something.

- How can I help you ma'am?

- Sorry, right, I know it's late

but I'm worried about the son of a friend of mine.

Well actually we just met today,

but I feel connected on a woman to woman level,

if you know what I mean.

Probably not, which is probably a good thing.

But what's important is that she can't locate the boy.

- Well if it's her son, why isn't she here,

instead of you?

- Oh, she doesn't know that I came.

- But a relative or a spouse has to file

a missing person report.

- Well here's the rub, we don't know

if he really is missing.

- Then why are you here?

- Because he might be missing.

- Ma'am I can't file a might be missing person report.

- Isn't there someone else here

that I could talk too about this?

- The only officer on duty is --

- Saying sayonara.

- It's you, you can't leave.

- Watch me.

- I, I need to talk to you.

It's about Ruth's son JR,

I don't know but I think he might have been murdered.

- Murdered? - Murdered?

- Murdered.

At first I thought it was a wine stain on the rug

so I pulled out a can of shaving cream.

- Shaving cream?

- It's great for getting stains out, magic.

Sort of like oatmeal for razor burn.

Anyway, when I was down there on the floor

I noticed this on the table leg.

- And this is?

- Blood.

- Alleged blood.

- Oh it's blood.

Which tells me that the stain on the rug was blood as well.

- I'll probably regret this but okay I'll bite,

who's blood do you think this is?

- JR's, he's the only one who lives there so.

- Maybe he cut himself shaving.

- No, somebody bashed him on the head with a candlestick.

- A candlestick.

- I saw it at the house, it was wooden,

heavy, sharp edges, I mean it could do as much damage

as falling off a motorcycle.

You don't really ride those do you?

- I really do.

- You don't have children I hope.

- Look, can we stay focused here.

Who would this someone be?

- The same person that rubbed shoe polish

on the candlestick.

When the candlestick hit JR's head,

the impact made gouges in the candlestick.

Someone used shoe polish to conceal the gouges.

- Why not just take the candlestick?

- Because if someone noticed it was missing,

they might start asking why.

Better to leave it in plain sight,

so it looks like nothing ever happened.

That's why the kitchen was neat as a pin.

- The kitchen was neat, and this is important?

- The murderer didn't want it to look like

someone had been killed there.

- So the alleged murderer cleared the table,

and washed the dishes, after he allegedly

killed the kid with the candlestick.

- You're catching on. (clicks fingers)

Except for the alleged part, but we'll work on that.

- Why kill JR in the first place?

- Oh, he had a little trouble when he was younger,

hot water.

- What makes you think that?

- I have a source.

- A source.

You've been here 12 hours, and you have a source.

- Fine, don't believe me.

(gentle tinkling music)

- Let's see what JR's got on his rap sheet.

At 10 he got busted for breaking

Christmas lights at the YMCA.

14, he pinched a kids bike and took it for a joyride.

16, he lit a bag of dog crap on fire

on the principles front porch.

Wow, public enemy number one.

- Maybe he had a good lawyer,

who kept the hot water off his record.

- JR lives outside city limits,

the County Sheriff handles everything out there.

- Well then why don't you call the County Sheriff?

- And what am I gonna say,

yo, I got this kid, he doesn't call home,

I'm think he got whacked by a candlestick.

You got a body, evidence, leads, motive, anything?

Well I'm a little light on details,

but I do know that the murderer

was a heck of a house cleaner.

I'm dyin' to make that call.

- Fine I'll make it, I'm not shy.

- Really, I hadn't noticed.

Leave the red stuff.

- The blood.

- Whatever, I'll have the lab check it out,

if it is JR's blood, maybe I'll have something

to talk to the Sheriffs office about.

- Hmm.

Someone should be arrested for making coffee this bad.

- We had to fire our barista, budget cuts.

- Just add some salt and some nutmeg

before you brew the coffee, take all the bitterness out.

- We like bitter, it keeps us mean.

You haven't mentioned this to Ruth have you?

- No I didn't want to upset her.

- Me either, you're on vacation up here, so vacation.

Sleep, shop, work on your tan.

- Should I get my nails done as well, manipedi.

- Yeah, that works, just don't try to be a cop.

- Oh, absolutely not, wouldn't dream of it,

not for a nano.

(phone dialing) (gentle tinkling music)

(phone ringing)

- Nigel Forsythe the third.

- Nigel it's me.

- Oh hey me, it's me too.

Well actually it's me three isn't it,

because I am the third after all.

- It's the middle of the night, what are you doing?

- I'm working, you know me,

nose to the old grindstone 24/7.

- Working on what?

- A Pru Pointer on vodka that we talked about.

I had no idea, it turns out,

that vodka is one of the wonders of the world.

It's, it's, it's just amazing what it can do.

Did, did you know that it's a great facial cleaner.

You just, you just rub it on your face

and squeaky clean pores bingo.

- You silly twit, you're absorbing the alcohol

through your skin, you're as drunk as a loon.

- How drunk do loons get?

- Never mind, look, I want you to come to Wyoming.

- You're on vacation, what do you need me for?

- I miss you.

- Oh come on, you don't miss anyone.

- Whatever, take three aspirin, pack a bag,

and get on a plane.

- Do I have too?

I'd hate to interrupt this very, very important research.

Oh, did you know that vodka is excellent

for cleaning the hair off your tongue?

- Good morning Prudence.

- Good morning.

- Ready for some breakfast?

- Yes I am, did JR call?

- No.

- Ruth I'm curious, when my mother came to stay here

did you ever have a chance to talk to her?

- A little, when she wasn't too busy.

- Of course, her work.

- No, she hardly worked when she was here.

- Really, what did she do?

- I think she enjoyed herself.

- Enjoyed herself.

All I ever remember is her working.

I mean, I knew what she was, a columnist,

a sort of celebrity but I never really knew who she was,

not as a woman really.

- I didn't know her that well, but I do remember this.

When she was happy, everybody around her was happy too.

- What made her happy?

- Just a moment.

This belonged to your mother,

she wanted it kept here at the lodge,

even after she was gone.

- Why?

- I'm not sure, maybe it's because the lodge

held so many fond memories for her.

(gentle music)

- There are dozens of letters in this box Ruth.

Written by someone who had to have been her lover.

I mean they're so beautiful and romantic.

My mother had a lover, my God.

I mean, do you have any idea who wrote these?

- No, she didn't talk to me about such things.

(gong chiming) Excuse me.

(Ruth screaming)

(somber music)

- Ruth?

- JR.

- I'm detective Jilson, County Sheriffs department.

Some hikers found Mrs Vigil's son

out at Diablo Canyon, he'd er, fallen from a hiking trail

near the summit.

- (crying) He, he's dead Prudence.

JR's dead.

Hikers found this suicide note on the mountain.

- Oh my God.

- Doesn't make sense.

JR had his ups and downs just like anybody else.

He loved his life, he wouldn't have wasted it,

especially not like this.

- What do you mean?

- JR was terrified of heights, he hated to fly,

he wouldn't even ride in an elevator.

Why would he climb a mountain too --

- I have no clue.

- Well aren't you suspicious?

I mean this doesn't make sense.

- Most of life doesn't make sense,

starting with the big bang.

- JR didn't jump.

- A lot of people think he did.

- Is the coroner going to do an autopsy?

- Coroners don't usually do autopsies on suicides,

especially where the cause of death is obvious.

- Where is Diablo Canyon?

- West of town, why?

- We should start our investigation there.

- What investigation?

- Find out who murdered Ruth's son.

- We went over this already.

- We did.

- We did, but read my lips again,

this is out of my jurisdiction.

- Guess what I don't have a jurisdiction,

I'll go there myself.

- No you won't you go out there by yourself,

you'll get lost, you'll die.

Your bones will be picked clean by vultures.

- Hmm, sounds like an after Christmas sale in New York.

- Even worse, I'll have to write the whole sordid mess up.

- Why, the sordid mess won't be in your jurisdiction?

- (sighs) I'll get the Sheriffs report off the internet

and drive you.

- Not on that I hope.

- You ever been on a bike?

- Never, I'm just not that keen to be an organ donor.

- Then you haven't lived.

- If I rode a motorcycle I'd be living?

- Well it would be a start.

I'll get the car, you'll need some decent hiking shoes.

- Oh these are fine, I'm a New Yorker,

we walk anywhere.

Besides we need to be at the airport in 20 minutes.

- Why?

- Come on.

(equipment clattering)

- Oh there he is, hello Nigel.

- This is like a gag right?

- No gag, that's Nigel.

- Why is he rubbing his head with a lemon?

- It cures headaches.

I'm afraid he has a wicked hangover.

- This guy actually works for you?

- He runs my lab.

He'll be a lot of help in the investigation.

He's very talented.

- At what?

(Pru panting heavily)

- I feel like a bloody mountain goat,

why can't we drive up here?

- You need four wheel drive,

and I thought New Yorkers like to walk.

- This isn't a walk, it's a death march.

- We're almost there.

- You're enjoying this aren't you?

(Pru grunting and panting)

(river running)

- This is where the hikers found JR's suicide note.

- Okay.

- He came down the hillside right there,

crossed to the edge, and jumped from here.

Yellow police tape at the bottom of the cliff

is where the hikers found the body.

- He was terrified of heights,

he would never have tried to commit suicide

by jumping off a mountain.

- He left a suicide note here,

they found the body down there, connect the dots.

- Did you see the note?

- No.

- Well I did, it was typed.

I mean who types a suicide note.

- Methodical, organized people.

- If that's where they found the body,

he didn't jump from here.

- How'd he get there, fly?

- He was pushed, or he was unconscious,

or you know worse he was dropped over the edge.

- What are you talkin' about?

- If he'd jumped out from the cliff

then he would have missed that rock outcropping completely

and he would have landed, right there by that tree.

But if he'd been pushed or dumped,

then he would have hit the outcropping

which would have altered the trajectory of his fall,

and he would have landed you know, duh duh duh,

right where they found the body.

- Nigel you're brilliant, didn't I tell you

he was brilliant.

- Too many times.

Look, if the kid was afraid of heights,

I'm guessing he didn't just come take a swan dive

from the cliff.

He probably inched out to the edge, took a deep breath,

looked out, said a hail Mary and dropped.

Hit the rock outcropping on the way down,

and landed right where he was found.

- Not bad, but wrong.

- Wrong, I've been a detective for, I don't know,

25 years, you've been a detective for lets see,

for never.

- Prudence, look at this.

- What did you find?

- Boot prints, someone came down this hill

and then walked back up again,

and it looks like they were wearing cowboy boots.

- Nigel found cowboy boot prints.

- Cowboy boots in Wyoming, wow the kids hot.

- The prints coming down the hill

are an average 57% deeper, and 33% wider

than the boot prints going back up the hill.

- So someone was heavier coming down the hill,

then going back up, so what?

- Well apart from the incredible crash diet,

how else would you explain the sudden weight loss?

- This is a camping area, someone came down

carrying something heavy like a backpack

full of food, water, fishing gear --

- Or a body that they pushed,

or dumped off the cliff,

and then they walked right back up the hill.

- Limped, the boot prints indicate a limp,

favoring the right leg.

- Those prints disappear way before

you get to the cliff.

- Because there's rock there, not mud.

- Fine, but whoever came down the hill

could have gone anywhere from there.

- Not with a body, dead weight is very difficult to carry.

- (laughs) Whatever, we're done here.

Go on up to the top of the hill,

I'll get the car and meet yah.

- The car, I thought you told me

you couldn't drive up here.

- I said we needed four wheel drive,

I have four wheel drive.

(phone rings)

- I can't believe this, he made us walk

all the way up here just because I wouldn't

follow his advice and change my shoes.

I mean it's just so bloody childish isn't it.

- Your feet must be killing you,

why didn't you just change your shoes?

- Because I didn't want to, did I.

- Wow, now that is totally childish.

- Mind your own beeswax Nigel.

- The lab results on your blood sample came back.

- And?

- You were right, it's blood.

- Yes, I knew it, I could feel it.

I had this sixth sense, you know what I mean.

Detectives, the really good ones,

they must have that sort of feeling all the time.

- It wasn't JR's blood type.

His is AB negative, the blood in his house is O positive.

- The murderers, JR resisted, he got cut.

- Assuming there is a murderer.

Which means 35% of the entire population

are now suspects, this pig doesn't have wings.

- Pardon. - Doesn't fly.

(gentle somber music)

- I'm sorry.

- I know how this sounds but,

I don't think JR committed suicide.

- What are you talking about?

- I think somebody killed him,

and tried to make it look like a suicide.

- Who'd do that, why?

- I don't know.

- Have you told the police?

- A detective here in town, he doesn't take me seriously.

- Do you have any proof, any evidence?

- Some, but not enough to convince the police, not yet.

- You haven't told any of this to Ruth have yah?

- No, no, I didn't want to upset her.

- Listen I have some contacts at the Sheriffs office,

I'll make a few calls discreetly and see what I can find.

- That's fantastic.

- And if you find anything run it past me

and I'll make sure those police don't brush you off okay.

- Absolutely. - Alright.

Listen you're very kind to be concerned about Ruth and JR.

- So are you, thank you.

(car engine revving)

- Is it really necessary that I'm here?

- Of course, I'm working, you're my assistant aren't you?

- Well yeah, granted, but work doesn't usually involve

tryin' to solve murders.

(he laughs)

- Ah, shoe polish, my grandfather developed

that pointer for your mom.

- Forsythe the first was brilliant.

- The first solved household problems like

Mozart wrote symphonies, I stand humbly on the shoulders

of that giant.

Okay, okay, what are we looking for?

- Something that might tell us what happened to JR.

- I'll check the bedroom.

- Okay.

(bouncy tinkling music)

(laughs) Eureka.

- What did you find?

- It's in French.

- I'm sorry I'm fluent in three languages,

can read another four, but French is

(speaking foreign language).

- What?

- It's German for, French is a boring language

spoken by arrogant fools.

- The only French I know should never be spoken

outside of the bedroom.

You know what petite moi means?

- No, no and knowing you I don't wanna know, not ever.

- You're blushing.

- No I'm not.

- You're going red as a beet, that's so adorable.

- Can we move on please.

Just look at these pictures, there's photos

of a county map.

Maybe JR had an office somewhere.

- Hey, check out the window reflected in this mirror.

You see the edge of that sign, TET.

We find that sign and we find this room.

- And you'll find it.

- Yavol.

- Tassajaro, that's strange.

- Strange good, or strange bad?

- I don't know, anyway we've got a map,

we have a French document and we have the lead on an office.

We're on a roll Nigel.

- Oh great, any idea what direction we're rolling in?

- We'll go to the Sheriffs office.

- Drop me off at the lodge, I've had my outing for the day.

- What are you afraid off?

- You arguing with the Sheriff, me going to jail.

(light dramatic music)

- That's a candlestick Miss McCoy.

- And a murder weapon.

- JR Vigil wasn't murdered.

- Well there's a growing body of evidence,

that says that he was.

- Body of evidence.

- Well, maybe not a body but,

there are a lot of people who believe that he was murdered,

professionals.

- What sort of professionals?

- Well a prominent lawyer in town,

and Detective Duncan.

- Duncan buys this candlestick idea?

- Detective Duncan's very intrigued.

See the gouges.

- And?

- I know Ruth Vigil asked that an autopsy

be performed on her son.

- Yes ma'am she did.

- All you have to do is examine the coroners report.

If there was trauma to JR's head.

- The boy fell 300 feet down the side of a mountain.

There's head trauma, a lot of it.

- The forensic experts will see that the head wounds

could only have been caused by this candlestick.

- You seem pretty sure about this.

- I am.

If I'm wrong I'll give your wife Corki

an autographed Pru Pointers t-shirt.

- Pru Pointer, you're, you're that Prudence.

- That's right.

(bangs desk) (laughs)

your wife's one of my biggest fans.

- Yeah, yeah.

- So how's the snoring problem?

- My, (laughs) cured.

That tennis ball you had Corki sew into my pajamas,

keeps me from rolling over.

- Nigel my assistant came up with that one.

- Well he's a damn genius.

Alright, I'll have forensics check out the candlestick.

- Fantastic.

- But I've got one other little problem.

My hunting dog, Rufus.

- Ah. - He's got gas,

bad gas, we've had to fumigate the house twice.

We really need your help on this one,

you got any ideas?

- Put half a cup of plain yogurt in Rufus' dog food,

twice daily, it'll deflate him.

- (laughs) Yogurt? - Hmm.

- That works, you might have just saved my marriage.

I thought I was gonna have to choose between Corki

and Rufus.

- Would that have been hard to do?

- Well,

Rufus is a damn good bird dog.

(light bouncy music)

- I just faxed it to you, a document of some kind.

No, don't fly out Francoise,

I just want you to translate it and call me.

Yeah, I miss you too, kiss kiss.

Headache? - A killer.

Eddie was here, he talked to Jilson about your visit,

he's not a happy camper.

- No, gee I'm so sorry about that.

- He said he want's you to chill.

- Chill, what am I a bottle of chardonnay,

he has a bloody nerve.

- Please, just don't start, I think I found the room.

Here, the lettering looked commercial

So I searched local business names,

all with the letters T, E and T in them in that order.

I turned up with like dozens of them,

all with the word teton in them.

- Why teton?

- Oh because the Grand Tetons, the mountains were named

by the French explorers who called the three highest peaks

of the range le trois Teton, the three breasts, or nipples.

You know, depending on the translation.

So I figured that if JR kept some sort of secret hideaway

that he wouldn't choose an auto mechanic or a dry cleaners.

- A motel.

- Oh no, no actually I think he would choose a motel.

- That's what I mean, do you have a name, address?

- Naturally, there's only one motel with the name

that matches the letters in that photo,

the Teton Chalet Motel.

- Well it's definitely the same sign.

- Hmm, okay, now we just find a window

that looks out on the sign at the same angle.

There's only three, piece of cake.

No.

(car engine rumbles)

(light, bouncy music)

- I think that worked.

We can't look suspicious.

- (laughs) You don't think that that, that,

- It's called a kiss.

- Moment, just made us look totally suspicious.

I mean what kind of people just kiss each other like that

in the middle of the day.

- People who come to places like this.

- Oh.

This is the same window as in the picture.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, absolutely, yeah it's basic euclidean geometry,

the cosine of the angle formed by the sine in the window

frame in conjunction with the slope of the shadows

cast by the setting sun and --

- You're making all this up right?

- Pretty much.

- So how are you sure this is the same window?

- You can see the map on the wall.

- Liquid dish washing detergent.

Nigel, dish washing detergent.

Hair pins.

Pencil.

Straw, now cover me.

(lock clicks open)

Bingo.

Nigel, check out the laptop.

There's the sign, and the map to Tassajaro.

- This is JR's computer, the case has his name

and address on it.

- Why would JR have a map of Tassajaro?

And I wonder what those X's on the map mean.

(car door slams shut)

- JR flew to Paris last month.

- Well that explains the French document,

see what else you can find, take the computer,

I'll check upstairs.

(dramatic music)

(knocking on door) (doorknob rattling)

- No housekeeping, thanks.

(muffled gunshot)

Prudence.

(banging on door) - Go out the back.

(muffled gunshot)

- There's no way out!

- Get the table lamp.

(Nigel screams)

Hit him.

(Man groaning in pain)

Stay down you plonker.

(car engine revving) (tires squealing)

(both breathing heavily)

Why can't I ever remember that bloody mantra

when I need it?

- Just forget your mantra, just call the police

and report an attempted murder.

- Are you daft Nigel, we can't call the police.

- Why not?

- Because I'm not interested in being arrested

for the several serious crimes we just committed.

- Serious crimes, what are you --

- Breaking and entering, larceny,

assault and battery.

- Oh God.

- Although I'd certainly argue

bashing that wanker was in self defense.

- Of course it was self defense,

he was trying to kill us.

What makes you think he won't try it again?

- I don't, he could.

(phone ringing)

Hello, Jeffrey, oh, what are we doing?

Well I mean a lot of things, relaxing,

reading, meeting people, having adventures.

(Nigel groans)

For example, someone just tried to kill Nigel and me,

there were bullets flying, glass shattering.

- [Jeffrey] What are you talking about,

who tried to kill you?

What in God's name are you doing out there,

you're supposed to be on vacation.

(police siren wailing)

You're supposed to rest and relax, not get shot at.

- Gotta run love, we're being pulled over by the police.

I'll call you if I need a solicitor.

Just shove everything under the seat,

and don't open your mouth.

(suspenseful music)

- Ma'am.

- Hello detective, so how are things at home?

- Well Corki has loaded up on yogurt,

so we'll keep our fingers crossed.

But things aren't nearly as promising

out at the Teton Chalet Motel.

Someone shot up one of the units real bad.

You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would yah?

- Goodness no, no, I'm terrified of guns.

- Maid saw a car leaving the scene,

she didn't get a license plate but your car

matches her description.

- Oh, that's impossible detective,

we've been out admiring your gorgeous mountains,

haven't we Nigel?

Bloody massive your Tetons.

- I got the forensics back on your candlestick.

- And?

- The gouges match the head trauma on the victim,

and the wood splinters that we found in the head wounds

match the candlestick.

- So he was murdered?

- It's a little early to say for sure,

but it looks that way.

Now if you have any information.

- Actually --

- We don't have a thing, but if the candlestick helped

we're delighted to have made a contribution

towards the preservation of law and order in Wyoming.

Aren't we Nigel.

- Ah, yeah, we're thrilled.

- When are you folks headin' home?

- As soon as possible.

- That's probably a real good idea, ma'am.

- Ah, oh, that hurts so much, why did you pinch me?

- I told you not to talk,

you're lucky I didn't cut your tongue out.

(Nigel groans in pain)

(light suspenseful music)

- JR put those marking on the map for a reason,

call me crazy but I want to know why.

(grunting in pain)

- Oh no, look I'm really flattered really I am,

but - Shut up.

- I'd feel terrible if we did anything

to jeopardize our professional relationship.

- How would you feel if we were killed?

- Really bad, why?

- There's two guys over there, I don't want them to see us.

You see that truck up there,

I want to get a closer look at it.

- I've got some binoculars.

- No, not from up here, from down there.

- How did I know you were gonna say that.

We've broken so many laws already I'm getting confused.

Is this breaking and entering, or trespassing?

- It's being nosy, it's not against the law,

so watch my back.

(metal clanking)

- Okay leave it, leave it, those guys are coming back.

Come on, come on, come on.

(car engine rumbling)

(alarm beeping)

- Nigel come here.

These holes match the markings on JR's map.

Now for some reason they were important to JR,

and to those two guys.

I mean they were trying to hide every one of them.

Here what do you think this is?

- It's trip wire for dynamite,

that's what caused all these holes.

- Who'd want to explode dynamite out here?

- Someone who's looking for oil.

Look I went online, I Googled Blacks International,

it's an oil exploration company, oil geologists.

They drill shot holes, stuff dynamite into them,

blow it up and then use the reflected sound waves

to map the subterranean structure.

- Okay is this real or is this more of your

euclidean cosine nonsense?

- No, no, that's how it's done, Google again.

JR obviously knew someone was looking for oil out here.

- My guess is someone wasn't very happy

that he knew about it.

(keyboard clicking)

- Alright fine, just play hard to get,

it's just a matter of time, can't keep me out forever.

- Nigel you've gotta hear this one.

I hated to see the night end, I wanted to be with you

warm and soft in my arms until the end of time.

Till the end of time, I mean who writes

such pathetic poppycock.

- Someone who adores your mother.

How many letters are there?

- Oh, dozens and dozens, they're so saccharin,

they make my teeth ache.

- Are you okay?

- I'm fine, splendid.

- That's such a lie, you're crying.

- Oh no, no, no, these are my allergies.

- Allergies, what allergies.

(phone ringing)

- Hello, oh hello.

Um, not much, just solving the worlds hunger crisis

and fighting global warming.

Tonight, no, I'm booked up.

Let me check, um, I'm sorry that's tomorrow night,

tonight I'm free, yes, yes, I can.

I'll see you there.

- Who was that?

- Oh, what's his name, the detective.

- Jilson?

- No, no the other one, Eddie.

- Eddie asked you out.

- For a talk and a drink.

- Oh so this is why it's like a date right.

- No, no this is not a date.

- A drink and a talk, hello that is totally a date.

- He's a bloody detective Nigel.

(crickets chirping) (owl hooting)

Any luck?

- I'll be in JR's computer by the time you get back.

Meanwhile, I managed to hack into the County land records.

Now except for Tassajaro, every parcel of land

on JR's map has been sold in the last five years.

- In the middle of nowhere, who bought them?

- A dozen different companies, but it gets interesting.

Every single one of them is owned by

a company called JDT Enterprises,

incorporated in Gran Cayman's.

- Sounds like some sort of shell company.

- Aren't they all in the Cayman's.

- See what you can find out about JDT.

- I am already on it.

- I've got to run.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't go out like that.

- The outfit, too dressy.

- The eyes, they're too red, too puffy.

- Oh God you're right, how horrible.

What have you got for the lizard eyes?

- Cold teaspoons, slices of cucumbers, wet teabags.

- All the old standards, not a good look at a bar.

Have you got something a bit more subtle?

- You want subtle, I have got subtle.

Here rub some of this on your eyes, repeat as needed.

Don't get any on your lips.

- What is this stuff?

- It's hemorrhoid cream.

(romantic piano music)

(audience applauds)

- You're early, I wanted to finish my set

before you got here.

- I didn't know what traffic would be like.

- Good call, moose in the middle of the road

would hold up traffic for hours.

- Exactly what I was worried about.

- Look just so you know, I tracked down the hikers

that found JR's body.

- Really?

- They saw an old truck on the bluff where JR jumped.

- Allegedly.

- They also saw a guy walking to the truck,

he had a limp.

- Told you.

- Yes, you did.

Hot sauce for silverware.

- Hmm, takes the tarnish out.

- Do you have a solution for every single problem?

- Well there are a few I haven't figured out.

Why did you want to finish the set before I came?

- I didn't think you'd be into jazz.

- Well frankly, I never have been before,

tonight was the first time.

- Why tonight?

- I like watching you play,

and you looked like you were totally absorbed in the music.

I can see why people like jazz.

- Well it sneaks up on yah.

Before you realize it's happening, it's got yah.

(gentle romantic music)

- I see what you mean.

- Maybe I better finish my set.

Want to stick around for a while?

- Why not, I'm on vacation.

(crickets chirping) (wolf howling)

(trash cans rattling outside)

(light dramatic music)

(slippers squeaking as Nigel walks)

(trash cans rattling outside)

(door knob rattling) (Nigel gasps)

(Nigel screams)

What are you doing?

- There was, there was someone outside on the deck,

tell me it was you please, please.

- I just got here.

- It was the guy from the motel, he's trying to kill us,

again, why you know, what have we ever done to him.

You know, we don't even know him.

How does he know about us, you know,

I mean who are we, you know,

we're just two nosy people that should just

mind their own business and this,

I can't, I can't die yet, you know,

I haven't even lived, I want to fly like an eagle.

Did you see anything?

- Yes, he's still out there, it's frightening.

- What's he doing?

- He's going through the garbage.

- Why?

- It's a raccoon, looking for a midnight snack.

Did I hear you say fly like an eagle?

- I'm a huge Steve Miller fan.

- Oh yes, of course you are.

Any luck with the computer?

- Oh yeah, of course, that's not the problem.

Each one of the files is encrypted.

- Which means?

- It won't be easy.

- Damn. - However,

one of the biggest files was labeled JDT.

- The company that bought the land around Tassajaro.

- With an office in town, and yes I have an address.

2020, Bison Boulevard.

Bison Boulevard, only in Wyoming.

- You're brilliant.

First thing in the morning we'll go

and check out that office.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, did you lock the door?

(key clicks in the lock)

- There.

Do you want me to tuck you in too.

(Nigel chuckles nervously)

(suspenseful music)

- Door to door, 17 minutes.

- Oh my God.

- I'm very good with directions.

- Not you Nigel, that blue truck.

It's the same truck I saw outside the motel,

I'm sure of it.

- You know what, I think I did too.

- Eddie told me the hikers that found JR at Diablo Canyon,

saw a truck parked there, the driver had a limp.

- The killers here, at JDT, why?

- That's what I'd like to know.

We need to see what's going on inside there.

- Are you crazy, he tried to kill us.

He obviously knows what Prudence McCoy looks like.

- Maybe we can see something inside one of those windows.

- Bad idea, one more move and we will be eating hot lead.

- Eating hot lead?

- Whatever, look, look, you can't do this, I'll go in.

- You? - Yeah, me.

When I'm with you, no one ever pays any attention to me,

he'll never recognize me.

- Well, if you see anything interesting, record it.

You're very brave Nigel.

- (chuckles) Brave, I'm so scared I could vomit.

- Well just to be on the safe side

we need to get you a cover of some kind.

- You're right a cover, what kind of cover?

(light bouncy music)

- May I help you?

- Oh, I'm delivering flowers.

- I can see that, they're awesome, who are they for?

- Who are they for?

That's a good question, who do you think they're for?

- Oh my gosh, he remembered my birthday.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did, he did remember.

- He totally acted like he forgot this morning.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, he just you know,

he wanted to surprise you.

- He did, is there a card?

- No, no, there's no card, none, notta,

he said that he wants to tell you in person.

- He is so sweet.

- Isn't he, totally.

- Just, just a second okay, don't go anywhere.

(phone ringing)

- They're beautiful.

The flowers, would you stop, I'm serious.

(muffled conversations)

He so funny, he kept pretending

like he didn't send anything.

- (chuckles) Really.

- But I so knew it was him.

I hate it when he teases me like that,

he's such a brat.

- But a sweet brat, happy Birthday.

- Wait, wait, wait, where are you going.

You're hot.

- I am?

- Totally, call me, maybe you could help me

blow out my Birthday candles.

- But what about the brat that sent you the flowers?

- My dad, what about him?

(light bouncy music)

- Well did you get anything?

- I got a tip and a phone number.

- I mean did you see anything?

(car engine rumbling)

That map on the wall, that's the same one

JR had isn't it?

- Yeah, I think it is.

- [Male] They aren't dead.

- [Male] That happens sometimes.

- And there's that limper.

Who's this other guy?

- [Male] You're supposed to be the best.

- [Male] I am.

- [Male] You're wasting my time.

- [Male] I'm paying for your time.

- No way, turn around (gasps),

Nigel it's Jean Philippe Andrews.

I can't believe you two can eat at a time like this.

- This is lunch, this is not a time like this,

whatever that means.

- What it means is we know who's doing what,

we know why, we have a victim, we have a videotape.

- And as I said before, we can't prove anything, not yet.

- There must be something we can do.

- We can question the shooter,

but if he's a pro he won't crack,

and besides he's just a hired gun.

- Why don't we go after Andrews?

- What's his motive, he owns Tassajaro,

he can do anything on that land he wants to do

that's not illegal, including drilling for oil.

- Why have JR killed, it makes no sense.

The worse thing he could have done

is write an embarrassing expose.

- The Andrews name means a lot round here,

maybe Jean Philippe just felt he couldn't afford an expose.

What can I say, people are weird.

- Now we're missing something,

there's a piece of the puzzle we haven't found.

- You haven't said a word, not one.

I hate it when you're not talking,

it means you're thinking, which is never good

because if you don't figure out whatever it is

you're trying to figure out then you just

start obsessing and festering you know,

and then the pressure, it just builds and builds,

and builds and builds and then kaboom, you know.

You're like Mount Vesuvius erupting

and then blowing hot ash and rock miles into the air

and burying thousands of innocent people

in your molten lava, like me for instance.

- Nigel, if you keep distracting me

I'm going to sew your lips together.

- It could be 100 million dollars, this isn't about money.

Jean Philippe has broken his families sacred oath.

Start calling, the ceremonies tomorrow.

- What's wrong, what's Jean Philippe doing?

- His office sent this letter out to all the elders,

he's selling Tassajaro.

- To JDT.

- But he is JDT, that doesn't make any sense.

- Why sell it, he should give that land to us,

that's what Bart had always intended to do.

- Until he found Jean Philippe, his only heir.

The missing piece Nigel.

(phone dialing)

Francoise, it's Prudence, that document that I faxed to you,

I need to know what it says right now.

- Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for coming.

I'm Jean Philippe Andrews, I've invited you here today

to remember my father Harvey Andrews,

and to celebrate the future of Tassajaro,

a future that my father and generations

of the Andrews family would embrace.

Over the past 160 years, the Andrews family has

protected and preserved Tassajaro --

(Jean Philippe continues speaking in the distance)

- I'll be right there.

(knocking on window)

- Yeah, I'll call you back.

Well well, what a pleasant surprise.

- Oh I'm sure it's a surprise but it won't be pleasant.

- Why what's happened?

- Bart Andrews son died in the same crash

that killed his mother.

- What are you talking about?

- Of course you learnt about this

when you heard about Jean Vieve,

but you didn't tell Bart that when he sent you

to try and find his son, did you?

- That's ridiculous.

- Is it, Bart was dying,

and you weren't a member of the family,

so you weren't going to get a penny.

So you found a boy the same age as Jean Philippe in France,

you made a deal with him, and you created a son for Bart

that would be your key to the family fortune.

- You know what this is Prudence, it's a sick fantasy.

You need professional help.

- Actually you're the one that needs help,

a good defense lawyer, and it's not a fantasy.

It's the real thing.

- How much do you want for it?

- Er, how does a billion dollars sound?

- Something tells me they're not gonna

accept that offer Prudence.

- Don't be stupid Doug, you really think

we didn't tell the police everything we know.

- Oh, I know you didn't,

otherwise they'd be here instead of you two.

- Freeze, drop the gun.

Don't think, drop it.

Hands behind your head, both of yah.

Drop to your knees.

Cross your ankles.

(police siren wailing)

- On behalf of the Andrews family

I'm pleased to announce that every penny of this

five million dollars will be donated

to the Native American Tribal Council.

- We don't want money, you won't destroy our history

and heritage.

- I assure you we're not destroying anything.

We're transferring stewardship to a company

that will continue the tradition of my family.

- You said your family.

- Yes, we've owned this land since 140 --

- No the Andrews have owned this land,

and you're not a member of that family,

you're a pretender, a liar and a fraud.

Not only that he's planning to drill for oil

under Tassajaro, and desecrate this sacred ground.

- What do you think you're doing?

- Yanking your cover.

- Can we have security up here please right now.

- It's not necessary the police are already here.

This is a French death certificate,

that's proof that Bart Andrews son died three years ago

in Paris, whoever he is, he's not Bart's heir.

He doesn't own Tassajaro, and he's not selling anything

but a lie.

(crowd cheers and applauds)

(light bright music)

Jeffery it's Prudence.

- [Jeffrey] How was your vacation?

- Perfect, just what I needed.

But that's not why I'm calling.

- [Jeffrey] Is anything wrong?

Please don't tell me you've been arrested.

- Who was my mothers lover?

- [Jeffrey] Oh you've read the letters.

- You knew about those.

- I've known about them for years,

I asked Ruth to give them to you.

- Why?

- I wanted you to know how much someone loved her,

and how much she loved him back.

- My God, Jeffrey you and my mother.

- Were dear friends for 30 years,

lovers after your father died.

- Well why are you telling me this now?

- Because I think you need to know about this now.

- About you and my mother.

- No, about your mother, she waited too long

to start living the life that she wanted.

I know she wouldn't want you to make the same mistake.

- Um, I've got to go, when I get back to New York,

we've got to talk.

- Of course.

(motorcycle roaring)

- Cool motorcycle, thanks for the ride.

- Take a cab next time, hitch hiking is dangerous.

- I know, I just wanted to get here, like really quickly.

Is Nigel here?

- He's been up since dawn getting ready.

- Oh he has not.

- Oh yes he has, trust me.

- (laughs) Oh my God, he's so adorable.

- Well whatever threads your needle sweetie,

he's in the house, you'll probably have to

scrape him off the ceiling.

- Ooh, yummy.

- I'm glad you called, surprised but glad.

- Me too.

- Surprised or glad?

- Both.

- You sure you're ready for this?

- Well I'm not sure but I am ready.

- Your first time right?

- My first time, be gentle.

- It's my middle name, hold on.

- To what, where are the handles?

- I'm the handles.

Tighter.

(motorcycle engine roaring)

(bright cheerful music)

(electronic whooshing)