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1
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:13,482
- Previously on "Bigger..."
2
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:15,071
- Your whole,
"Look at me, V!
3
00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:16,277
I'm handlin' two guys,
just like you."
4
00:00:16,344 --> 00:00:17,724
No, you're not.
5
00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,143
- I mean,
if you was just keepin' it 100
6
00:00:19,206 --> 00:00:20,446
you would go ahead
7
00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:21,517
and tell Layne you smashin' her cousin.
8
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,276
- Wait, what?
9
00:00:23,344 --> 00:00:25,174
- Look man, you don't have
to impress us, only Layne.
10
00:00:25,241 --> 00:00:26,861
- My bad, I just wanna make
sure that everything's right.
11
00:00:26,931 --> 00:00:28,761
You know, Layne's not
giving me any feedback.
12
00:00:28,827 --> 00:00:30,307
- On that show
they control my image,
13
00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:32,069
but as a influencer,
I'm in control.
14
00:00:32,137 --> 00:00:34,827
Now talk shit, bitch!
Now talk--
15
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:36,166
- We're Layne's family,
16
00:00:36,241 --> 00:00:37,831
so she's happier
when we're together.
17
00:00:37,896 --> 00:00:39,446
- I look at you guys
like my brothers.
18
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:40,587
- Real talk--
you're pretty much family now.
19
00:00:40,655 --> 00:00:43,065
[knocking on door]
20
00:00:43,137 --> 00:00:44,857
- Oh, oh, ouch!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
21
00:00:44,931 --> 00:00:46,791
- Okay, where are we going?
- Don't worry about it.
22
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:47,902
- Here they come. Be quiet!
- [shushing]
23
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,065
[door clicks shut]
24
00:00:49,137 --> 00:00:50,277
- This better not
be another sex shop,
25
00:00:50,344 --> 00:00:52,724
because my vagina's
still sore--
26
00:00:52,793 --> 00:00:53,833
- [shushing]
27
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,475
Surprise! [chuckles]
- Oh, shit.
28
00:00:58,551 --> 00:00:59,901
[scattered applause]
29
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:01,095
- Guys, come on!
30
00:01:01,172 --> 00:01:02,452
Surprise!
31
00:01:02,517 --> 00:01:03,927
[applause]
32
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,380
- She seems like a freak.
33
00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:07,338
- Mm, no, she didn't.
- What kind of shit is this?
34
00:01:07,413 --> 00:01:08,863
- You all got me...
35
00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:11,281
so good!
[laughter]
36
00:01:11,344 --> 00:01:12,934
Yeah!
37
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,240
[mouths words]
38
00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:18,240
[upbeat hip-hop music]
39
00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:23,410
♪ ♪
40
00:01:23,482 --> 00:01:24,902
- I hate all of you.
41
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:26,445
- We don't wanna
be here, either.
42
00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,237
- I've been standing
in the dark for 15 minutes
43
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:29,240
waitin' on your ass.
44
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,590
- Greg's uncle Alfred
45
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,965
has touched me inappropriately
six times.
46
00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:33,974
- You, too?
47
00:01:34,034 --> 00:01:35,794
- Oh.
- Nigga.
48
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,792
- Let's just figure out
a way to end this shit early.
49
00:01:37,862 --> 00:01:39,792
- We can get Vince
to fake choke on some shrimp.
50
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:42,932
- The last time he tried to
fake choke, he really choked.
51
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,550
- He's very bad
at fake choking.
52
00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:45,590
- Fake choking is
harder than it looks, y'all.
53
00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:46,655
- Yeah.
54
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:47,834
- [clears throat]
55
00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:49,756
- Layne, I couldn't be happier.
56
00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:52,997
I always wanted a daughter.
- [chuckles]
57
00:01:53,068 --> 00:01:54,278
- That would be really sweet
58
00:01:54,344 --> 00:01:55,904
if she didn't
already have a daughter.
59
00:01:55,965 --> 00:01:57,585
- Well, Mom here,
60
00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:58,925
she said if you're
gonna be a part of the family,
61
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,000
tradition's tradition.
- [chuckles]
62
00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:01,998
[inhales sharply]
63
00:02:02,068 --> 00:02:03,658
- Ta-da!
- Twinsies!
64
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,974
- [dorky laughter]
65
00:02:05,034 --> 00:02:06,284
- He must be out
his black fuckin' mind
66
00:02:06,344 --> 00:02:07,524
if he thinks I'm gonna wear
67
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:08,716
this dumbass-lookin' shit
anywhere.
68
00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:11,793
- Come on, Layne.
Try it on.
69
00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:14,382
Uh, uh, okay--
thank you.
70
00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:15,758
I am speechless.
71
00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:17,237
[awkwardly restrained laughter]
72
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:18,930
- [whispers]
- Oh, excuse us.
73
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,240
- Bye.
74
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,310
[chuckling]
75
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:23,929
- Oh shit,
you just joined a cult.
76
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,340
I can't wait to see this.
77
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,243
We not leavin'.
We are not leavin'.
78
00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:29,000
- Yeah, like those videos
of supermodels
79
00:02:29,068 --> 00:02:30,338
wiping out on the runway.
80
00:02:30,413 --> 00:02:32,663
- Mmm, so satisfying!
81
00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:33,764
- I do love a good train wreck.
82
00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:35,027
- Okay, I hate you all again.
83
00:02:36,344 --> 00:02:38,034
- Um, guys?
84
00:02:38,103 --> 00:02:39,973
[eerie percussive music]
85
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,454
♪ ♪
86
00:02:42,517 --> 00:02:43,447
[laughs awkwardly]
87
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:46,167
♪ ♪
88
00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:48,411
- That's just Karen,
Greg's sister.
89
00:02:48,482 --> 00:02:49,932
- But didn't his mom
just say that--
90
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,520
- Don't ask any questions.
91
00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:54,895
- [whispering]
Wow.
92
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,863
- Okay.
93
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,931
[jazzy piano music]
94
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,790
- Oh. My. God.
Tracy!
95
00:03:04,862 --> 00:03:06,792
You are my favorite
Basketball Ex!
96
00:03:06,862 --> 00:03:09,592
- [laughs]
Thank you, thank you!
97
00:03:09,655 --> 00:03:11,065
- Which is exactly why
98
00:03:11,137 --> 00:03:12,757
I'm not postin', taggin',
likin' or retweetin'
99
00:03:12,827 --> 00:03:15,277
none of the memes of you
on social media right now.
100
00:03:15,344 --> 00:03:16,554
- Wait, what?
101
00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:18,480
- Oh, you ain't seen it.
102
00:03:18,551 --> 00:03:21,481
- ♪ I never saw it coming ♪
103
00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:24,481
[audience "ooh"s]
104
00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:26,901
- [gasps]
What the fuck?
105
00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:28,685
I got in at least three full
bitch smacks
106
00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:30,238
before that ho did anything.
107
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,860
They gonna act like
they ain't see those!
108
00:03:31,931 --> 00:03:33,071
This is what I'm talkin' about,
this corny-ass--
109
00:03:33,137 --> 00:03:34,587
- Sure.
110
00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:35,855
- Her publicist is probably
behind all that.
111
00:03:35,931 --> 00:03:37,001
They do that corny shit,
you know!
112
00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:37,998
And they corny, ain't they?
113
00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,068
Ain't they corny?
114
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,377
- But you got beat up.
But--
115
00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:41,688
- No, I--
- It's okay!
116
00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:43,278
It's okay,
it was nice to meet you.
117
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:45,174
- ♪ Heaven can be
a lonely place ♪
118
00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:46,171
- But what's your name?
119
00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:47,171
You ain't tell me your name.
120
00:03:47,241 --> 00:03:49,031
- It's okay.
121
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:53,903
- They better have some
hard liquor in here today.
122
00:03:53,965 --> 00:03:55,965
- But that one time we had
a cookout at Layne's crib.
123
00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:57,764
- Y'all disappeared for, like,
an hour.
124
00:03:57,827 --> 00:03:59,167
- Said y'all was
goin' to get buns.
125
00:03:59,241 --> 00:04:00,861
- But you came back
with straws.
126
00:04:00,931 --> 00:04:02,211
[ominous music]
127
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:03,205
- Were y'all doin' it?
128
00:04:03,275 --> 00:04:05,405
[phone buzzes]
129
00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:07,282
- Yay, this is the contractor
130
00:04:07,344 --> 00:04:09,284
telling me how much money
I'm wasting on this building.
131
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:10,344
- Why is it a yay?
132
00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:11,383
- Because I can do this.
133
00:04:11,448 --> 00:04:12,378
Buh-bye!
134
00:04:12,448 --> 00:04:13,588
Hello?
135
00:04:13,655 --> 00:04:15,655
No, no, this
is the perfect time.
136
00:04:15,724 --> 00:04:17,794
- Y'all know y'all are
immature as hell, right?
137
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:19,002
- We know.
- We do.
138
00:04:19,068 --> 00:04:20,658
- Okay.
139
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,590
- They doin' it.
- Yep, they doin' it.
140
00:04:25,655 --> 00:04:27,585
- ♪ Anything is possible ♪
141
00:04:27,655 --> 00:04:29,065
♪ ♪
142
00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:30,897
- What you think
their electricity bill is?
143
00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:32,235
- I don't know.
144
00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:33,550
How much you think
this house is?
145
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:35,900
- I finally get
to meet Greg's homies!
146
00:04:35,965 --> 00:04:37,095
[laughs]
147
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:39,102
He's told me all about ya!
[laughs]
148
00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:40,482
- [chuckles]
Really?
149
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:41,591
'Cause we're
pretty much strangers
150
00:04:41,655 --> 00:04:42,545
and know nothing about him.
151
00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:43,790
- [stammers]
152
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,452
This one, huh?
- [laughs]
153
00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:47,687
- We--we love Greg.
He's--he's--he's our boy.
154
00:04:47,758 --> 00:04:51,098
- Ah, you boys!
You know, y'all warm my heart.
155
00:04:51,172 --> 00:04:53,282
I know this might
come as a shock, but--
156
00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:55,214
Greg's never had
a lot of friends.
157
00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,965
- That is shocking.
158
00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:58,284
You raised one hell
of a young man, Mr. Washington.
159
00:04:58,344 --> 00:04:59,904
- Mr. Washington?
160
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,755
Mr. Washington is my dad.
You better call me Greg!
161
00:05:02,827 --> 00:05:04,137
- Uh-oh!
Watch out! Watch out!
162
00:05:04,206 --> 00:05:05,616
- [laughs intensely]
163
00:05:05,689 --> 00:05:06,719
- You don't have to
say it like that!
164
00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:07,693
- The Gregs, that's confusing.
165
00:05:07,758 --> 00:05:08,858
That's confusing.
166
00:05:08,931 --> 00:05:10,171
- You know what?
167
00:05:10,241 --> 00:05:11,791
Since you boys are
practically family now,
168
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:12,972
how 'bout a tour?
169
00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:14,694
- Mm-hmm!
- Yes, please!
170
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:16,618
- All right!
Come on, come on!
171
00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:17,999
- Let's roll!
172
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,688
- ♪ Baby, you'll see ♪
173
00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:21,378
♪ ♪
174
00:05:21,448 --> 00:05:22,658
- Bro, come on!
175
00:05:22,724 --> 00:05:24,624
- ♪ Anything is possible ♪
176
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,309
- [laughs]
177
00:05:26,379 --> 00:05:27,659
- Yeah, you know,
178
00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:29,174
my dad made
quite a name for himself
179
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,621
in the field of gynecology.
180
00:05:30,689 --> 00:05:32,449
- Delivering babies
is our bread and butter.
181
00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:34,307
- When Layne and I
have our own Greg, well,
182
00:05:34,379 --> 00:05:35,899
he'll take over
the family business, too.
183
00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,895
- And what if you and Layne
have a daughter?
184
00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:41,825
And she wants to play lead
guitar in an indie rock band?
185
00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:46,206
[laughter]
186
00:05:47,241 --> 00:05:48,861
- This guy!
[laughs]
187
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,211
- Ah, a rock band!
[chuckles]
188
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,995
Oh, and that
is my dad's pride and joy.
189
00:05:54,068 --> 00:05:55,028
- Funny, kinda looks like a--
190
00:05:55,103 --> 00:05:56,033
- A vagina?
191
00:05:56,103 --> 00:05:57,103
'Cause it is.
192
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:58,452
- Or as I like to call it,
193
00:05:58,517 --> 00:06:00,277
the golden pussy!
194
00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:01,764
- Gregory!
195
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,720
- Brenda finds that
inappropriate.
196
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,523
- She's not alone.
197
00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:09,966
- Well, my dad won that
from his extensive research
198
00:06:10,034 --> 00:06:12,904
in vaginal laser treatment.
199
00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:15,275
- I can't lie,
I am slightly aroused.
200
00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:17,934
- Yeah, lasers can fix
just about anything.
201
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,380
From vaginal discomfort
to dryness to burning
202
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:24,718
to urinary incontinence to--
oh, vaginal atrophy!
203
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,523
- It's gone.
204
00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:30,895
- Here you go, man.
- Thank you, Greg Junior.
205
00:06:30,965 --> 00:06:33,755
- Aw, stop!
- [chuckles]
206
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:36,095
D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
207
00:06:36,172 --> 00:06:37,102
d-damn.
208
00:06:37,172 --> 00:06:38,622
Eat your oatmeal.
209
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:39,969
- C'mon, man,
get yo' ass out of here.
210
00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:42,144
[mellow percussive music]
211
00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:43,716
- There she is,
behind the tree.
212
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,413
- Damn, how you keep
findin' her before me?
213
00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:47,412
- 'Cause your vain ass
refuses to wear glasses.
214
00:06:47,482 --> 00:06:48,692
- Found her. Fountain.
- Okay, yeah.
215
00:06:48,758 --> 00:06:51,788
Oh, oh, elephant!
[laughs]
216
00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:54,382
- Okay, no,
why is Karen always hidin'?
217
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,758
- Hmm, maybe she
knows something we don't.
218
00:06:56,827 --> 00:06:59,207
- Okay, this dog gotta be,
like, 100 years old.
219
00:06:59,275 --> 00:07:01,755
It is in every single photo
since Greg was a baby.
220
00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:04,587
- Girl, please.
Dogs don't live that long.
221
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:05,585
- See?
222
00:07:05,655 --> 00:07:07,655
Same dog, 30 years later.
223
00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:09,724
- What in the world?
224
00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:11,383
- You don't think
225
00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:13,208
they're just buying
the same dog over and over--
226
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:15,515
[sinister notes]
227
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:16,616
- Oh my God.
228
00:07:16,689 --> 00:07:17,829
Oh, girl!
229
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,996
♪ ♪
230
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:22,588
Girl, did you know the dog
on all the Christmas cards
231
00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:23,685
is dead?
232
00:07:24,758 --> 00:07:26,338
- Look what I found!
233
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,793
Thought it was weird,
234
00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:29,722
looked like it
fell behind the chair.
235
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:30,933
- Wow.
236
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,240
That is weird!
Oh, my goodness.
237
00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:34,660
- Why don't you put it on?
238
00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:37,934
- Yeah,
what are you waiting for?
239
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,450
- [exasperated chuckle]
240
00:07:39,517 --> 00:07:43,337
I am--I'm not, you know,
waiting per se,
241
00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:45,103
but I am waiting
until after dinner
242
00:07:45,172 --> 00:07:47,002
because I don't want
to get anything on this.
243
00:07:47,068 --> 00:07:48,448
You know how clumsy I can be!
244
00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:50,857
- [obviously fake laughter]
245
00:07:50,931 --> 00:07:53,481
[people conversing quietly]
246
00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:55,211
- Hey, what color is this?
247
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,615
What you have up here is
very pretty, is it off-shell--
248
00:07:56,689 --> 00:07:58,999
- Why don't you come
help me in the kitchen?
249
00:07:59,068 --> 00:08:01,968
- I would love to.
[stilted laughter]
250
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,070
- [imitating Brenda]
Layne!
251
00:08:04,137 --> 00:08:05,407
Don't forget your sweater!
252
00:08:06,931 --> 00:08:08,211
Layne.
253
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:13,143
- They don't have
no African art?
254
00:08:13,206 --> 00:08:14,546
They got all this
expensive stuff,
255
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,860
but they don't have
no African art.
256
00:08:15,931 --> 00:08:17,411
- I'm gonna grab me one--
257
00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:18,832
[eerie whoosh]
258
00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:20,066
- Careful!
259
00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:21,587
- What is goin' on?
260
00:08:21,655 --> 00:08:23,445
- Don't look at me,
she called this meeting.
261
00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:24,547
Oh my goodness,
262
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,140
hand-crafted porcelain tub.
263
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,996
Okay, I see you, Washingtons.
264
00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:29,518
- As fun as it is
to watch Layne
265
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:30,516
sweat her way
through this party, y'all,
266
00:08:30,586 --> 00:08:32,206
we gotta help her,
267
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:33,755
or at least tell her
how crazy these people are.
268
00:08:33,827 --> 00:08:35,657
- I like 'em.
together: Of course you do.
269
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,214
- And this is
the dude you're fucking?
270
00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:38,585
My cousin is a big girl,
271
00:08:38,655 --> 00:08:40,475
she doesn't need our help
or opinions.
272
00:08:40,551 --> 00:08:41,971
- And honestly, she's spent
more time around these freaks
273
00:08:42,034 --> 00:08:43,144
than we have.
274
00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:46,026
- Natural Italian marble sink,
275
00:08:46,103 --> 00:08:48,663
solid grout lines,
I mean, the labor alone--
276
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:49,664
[knock at door]
277
00:08:49,724 --> 00:08:50,834
- Somebody's in here!
278
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:52,546
No, we're her best friends
279
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,030
and we promised to always
keep it 100 with each other.
280
00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:56,033
- [groans]
281
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,723
In that case...
282
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,213
it's time to let go
of LeBron James' hair line.
283
00:08:59,275 --> 00:09:00,715
Ain't no shame
in rockin' a baldy.
284
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:02,623
- [imitates buzzer]
Wrong, I meant with Layne.
285
00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:05,169
Anytime my honest ass
tries to say anything,
286
00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:06,591
y'all get your
little feelings hurt.
287
00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:07,585
I ain't sayin' shit.
288
00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:08,585
- I second that.
289
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:09,585
We're overreactin'.
290
00:09:09,655 --> 00:09:10,685
[knock at door]
291
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:11,998
- She said someone in here!
292
00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:13,408
- So we just gonna
sit here smilin'
293
00:09:13,482 --> 00:09:14,522
and be fake supportive?
294
00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:15,616
- Absolutely.
- Yeah.
295
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:16,899
- Absolutely.
- Wow.
296
00:09:16,965 --> 00:09:17,995
Fine.
297
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,073
[clicks tongue]
298
00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:22,137
I'm gonna need
some more alcohol.
299
00:09:24,517 --> 00:09:25,587
- It's not what you think,
300
00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:28,275
we were just having oral sex.
301
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:31,284
[eerie percussive music]
302
00:09:31,344 --> 00:09:33,074
♪ ♪
303
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,827
- How did you know
that I wanted
304
00:09:34,896 --> 00:09:36,856
an 18-year single malt scotch
with three ice cubes?
305
00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:37,971
[laughs]
306
00:09:38,034 --> 00:09:39,414
So I'm just...
307
00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:41,142
supposed to accept
this strange drink
308
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,446
from some strange person,
no questions asked?
309
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,687
♪ ♪
310
00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:46,998
Well played.
311
00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:51,138
♪ ♪
312
00:09:51,206 --> 00:09:52,446
Mmm.
313
00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:54,587
It's smooth.
314
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,065
Just like I like...
315
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,137
it.
316
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,656
♪ ♪
317
00:10:00,724 --> 00:10:03,414
- I hear you laid
the stone in the bathroom.
318
00:10:03,482 --> 00:10:04,412
- I did.
319
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:05,522
- Mm-hmm.
320
00:10:05,586 --> 00:10:07,716
Yeah, high-grade marble.
321
00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:11,173
Minimal veins and inclusions.
322
00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:13,761
I'm not mad at your work.
323
00:10:13,827 --> 00:10:15,547
- Well, maybe I can
hook you up sometime.
324
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,240
- Oh, okay!
325
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:21,070
Well, if that hookup comes
with a discount, I'll take it.
326
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:22,477
[knocking on window]
327
00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:24,661
- I'd be real careful
if I was you.
328
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,484
You see that crazy-lookin'
brother right there?
329
00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:28,927
Yup!
330
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,450
That's her boo,
and he get real jealous.
331
00:10:31,517 --> 00:10:32,967
Now, don't let the height
fool you.
332
00:10:33,034 --> 00:10:33,974
He can scrap!
333
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,034
Okay, bye.
334
00:10:35,655 --> 00:10:36,825
- Uh...
335
00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:38,336
yeah, I gotta
check my schedule.
336
00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:39,623
- Mm.
337
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:42,209
Damn it!
338
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:45,855
- You know,
I can't even eat deviled eggs.
339
00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:47,311
- Really?
- Mm.
340
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:49,929
- I'm on a strict diabetic diet
341
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,000
and Greg hates
low fat mayonnaise.
342
00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:54,658
Says it tastes funny.
343
00:10:54,724 --> 00:10:58,664
But, I still like to cook
all the things he likes.
344
00:10:58,724 --> 00:10:59,834
- So you're working this hard
345
00:10:59,896 --> 00:11:01,586
on something
you can't even eat.
346
00:11:01,655 --> 00:11:04,685
- The key to a happy marriage
is sacrifice.
347
00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:07,238
You have to do what you need to
for the people you love.
348
00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:09,000
[chuckles]
349
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:12,998
Greg told me that you remodeled
your vintage shop.
350
00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:14,208
- It's coming along.
351
00:11:14,275 --> 00:11:16,135
- I can only imagine
what it takes
352
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:18,546
to be a successful
businesswoman these days.
353
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,790
- It is all-encompassing, like,
354
00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:22,592
dealing with vendors,
anticipating trends,
355
00:11:22,655 --> 00:11:24,135
you make one wrong move,
356
00:11:24,206 --> 00:11:25,896
you end up with five boxes
of plaid suspenders.
357
00:11:25,965 --> 00:11:29,275
- But it wouldn't be a success
without all your hard work.
358
00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:31,484
It's gotta make you proud.
359
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:32,971
- It does.
360
00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,624
- [inhales]
As long
361
00:11:34,689 --> 00:11:36,999
as it doesn't
distract from what's important.
362
00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:38,858
[jazz scale ascends]
363
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,101
- Wait, what?
364
00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:41,662
- Well, I work hard, too.
365
00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:44,214
To be the wind
beneath my Greg's wings.
366
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:47,205
He wouldn't be the successful
doctor he is without me.
367
00:11:47,275 --> 00:11:48,205
[chuckles]
368
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,685
- So, who's your wind?
369
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:52,168
- Oh, I get my joy
from what do for him.
370
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:56,071
And now it's your turn
to do that for your Greg.
371
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,067
[sinister notes]
372
00:11:57,137 --> 00:11:58,477
- I don't know
373
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,141
what kinda fucked up
"Handmaid's Tale"
374
00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:01,786
you're livin' in,
375
00:12:01,862 --> 00:12:03,832
but I'd rather be dead
than give up my dreams
376
00:12:03,896 --> 00:12:06,376
to be wind beneath
some ashy negro's wings.
377
00:12:06,448 --> 00:12:07,408
Fuck you,
378
00:12:07,482 --> 00:12:09,002
and fuck your food.
379
00:12:09,965 --> 00:12:11,545
Ugh, wait, wait, wait.
380
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,210
My mother raised me
better than this.
381
00:12:15,827 --> 00:12:18,717
Thank you for that advice.
382
00:12:18,793 --> 00:12:20,033
I'm gonna keep that in mind.
383
00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:21,243
[chuckling]
384
00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:22,240
- [giggles]
385
00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:23,830
- Oh!
386
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:24,926
- Jesus!
387
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,860
Not the potato salad!
388
00:12:26,931 --> 00:12:29,381
It's The Gregs'
favorite dish!
389
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:30,448
- I--I am sorry.
390
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,407
I can fix this, I can help.
391
00:12:34,482 --> 00:12:36,142
Thank you for fixing this.
392
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:39,066
- Well, since yo' ass
can't even cook a Pop-Tart.
393
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:41,857
- Hey, the settings
on my toaster are inconsistent.
394
00:12:41,931 --> 00:12:43,411
[upbeat R&B music]
395
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:45,172
- Okay, I gotta give her
props on her kitchen.
396
00:12:45,241 --> 00:12:46,721
Bitch is 'bout her seasonin's.
397
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:48,663
Hello, pink Himalayan
rock salt.
398
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,214
I just don't understand
399
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:52,275
how you makin' potato salad
with no potatoes.
400
00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:54,284
- [sighs]
Well, a good cook improvises.
401
00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:56,214
I'm usin' steamed cauliflower,
402
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,545
boiled eggs, celery.
403
00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,240
[groans]
Mm-mm.
404
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:00,620
And...
405
00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:02,479
onions.
406
00:13:02,551 --> 00:13:04,861
Just as soon as Layne's
slow ass gets done choppin' em.
407
00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:07,521
- Hey, man, cuttin' onions
makes my eyes tear up.
408
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,476
- Move.
[laughter]
409
00:13:09,551 --> 00:13:10,691
- What's wrong with you?
410
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:16,758
♪ ♪
411
00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,587
Y'all bein' weird.
412
00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:20,305
Why are you so quiet?
413
00:13:20,379 --> 00:13:21,859
It's making me uncomfortable.
414
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,521
♪ ♪
415
00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:24,516
- [clears throat]
416
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,546
♪ ♪
417
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:27,760
- Just say it.
418
00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:29,307
They're weird.
419
00:13:29,379 --> 00:13:30,999
- I don't know what
you're talkin' about.
420
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,338
- Okay, they're just quirky.
421
00:13:32,413 --> 00:13:33,483
And I'm the queen of quirk.
422
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,101
Even me saying that was quirky.
423
00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:36,902
- So, you know,
if you like 'em, we love 'em!
424
00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:39,165
I ain't sayin' shit.
425
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:42,141
- Heh, I'll drink to that!
426
00:13:42,206 --> 00:13:46,236
♪ ♪
427
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,900
- Ooh.
428
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,825
- Secret ingredient.
429
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:56,306
- And, drum roll, please!
430
00:13:56,379 --> 00:13:57,759
New potato salad.
431
00:13:57,827 --> 00:13:59,997
- Ah, very impressive.
432
00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,928
And how did you make it
with no potatoes?
433
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,900
- You know, there was, like,
some, um, uh, rutabaga,
434
00:14:04,965 --> 00:14:06,925
and um, eggplants?
- Nope, nope, nope!
435
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,760
A good cook never reveals
her secrets!
436
00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:09,757
[laughs]
437
00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:11,167
Just know...
438
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,971
that my girl cannot burn
in the kitchen.
439
00:14:14,034 --> 00:14:16,594
- What she said is correct
and about me.
440
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:17,585
That's a true statement.
441
00:14:17,655 --> 00:14:19,335
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.
442
00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:22,235
- Then let's eat.
Mm-hmm.
443
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:23,900
- All right!
[laughs]
444
00:14:23,965 --> 00:14:25,235
- Careful.
445
00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:29,205
[Sunshine Anderson's
"Heard It All Before"]
446
00:14:29,275 --> 00:14:30,515
♪ ♪
447
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:32,026
- Here you go!
448
00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:34,033
- Oh, thank you!
But I already have a plate.
449
00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:35,723
- That's for Greg.
450
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:39,173
And remember, he doesn't like
his food to touch.
451
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:41,861
♪ ♪
452
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:43,861
- Is that why
all the men are sittin' down?
453
00:14:43,931 --> 00:14:46,001
I just thought they was
lettin' the ladies go first.
454
00:14:46,068 --> 00:14:47,588
- This place freaky as hell.
455
00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:49,475
- You know, the day I make
some dude a plate
456
00:14:49,551 --> 00:14:51,071
is the day I lose my
Phenomenal Woman card.
457
00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:52,547
- Okurrr!
[laughter]
458
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,210
- I ain't sayin' shit.
459
00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:55,995
- Mm-mm.
460
00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:58,588
♪ ♪
461
00:14:58,655 --> 00:15:00,585
- You not gonna make a plate
for your boo?
462
00:15:00,655 --> 00:15:01,785
- [chuckles]
463
00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:02,932
Excuse me, you know what?
464
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,170
Let me--let me go over there.
465
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:06,411
♪ ♪
466
00:15:11,896 --> 00:15:12,826
- Oop!
467
00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:13,826
[glass clinking]
468
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:15,136
Attention!
469
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,616
I want everyone
to hear the words
470
00:15:16,689 --> 00:15:18,589
that are coming
out of my mouth, okay?
471
00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:22,655
Me and that man
are not in a relationship.
472
00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:23,934
We're just fuckin'.
473
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,480
[attendees gasp politely]
474
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:27,931
Thank you!
475
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,760
Just fuckin'.
476
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,617
- ♪ I was your fool ♪
477
00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,789
♪ I believed in you ♪
478
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:36,312
♪ Yes, I did,
yes, I did ♪
479
00:15:36,379 --> 00:15:37,759
♪ Your lies ain't working ♪
480
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:38,967
♪ Lies ain't working now ♪
481
00:15:39,034 --> 00:15:40,554
♪ Look who's hurtin' now ♪
482
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:44,480
- May, uh, God bless this food
483
00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:47,071
for the nourishment
of our bodies.
484
00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:48,207
Amen.
485
00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:49,205
- Amen.
486
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:50,205
- Amen.
487
00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:52,335
[others say "Amen"]
488
00:15:52,413 --> 00:15:56,523
- ♪ In our bed you must have
fell and bumped your head ♪
489
00:15:56,586 --> 00:15:58,026
♪ ♪
490
00:15:58,103 --> 00:16:00,523
- Anytime, um,
Monday through Friday.
491
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:01,856
Hi.
492
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:03,311
- Here you go.
493
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,619
- Oh, great.
494
00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:06,829
All the food is touching.
495
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,476
- There you go.
496
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,451
- Great.
[clears throat]
497
00:16:09,517 --> 00:16:10,927
Thank you.
498
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,070
Oh, before I forget,
I have something for you.
499
00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:14,997
Yeah.
500
00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:15,998
Another surprise.
501
00:16:16,068 --> 00:16:17,378
- [laughs]
502
00:16:17,448 --> 00:16:18,898
Oh, it just has
a mind of its own!
503
00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:20,685
- Mm-hmm.
- Weird.
504
00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:23,408
- What's even weirder is that
I heard it was, like,
505
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,172
tucked behind
the guest bathroom toilet.
506
00:16:25,241 --> 00:16:26,831
- Oh, you know what?
- What's that about?
507
00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:28,406
- You know what?
Let me tell you something.
508
00:16:28,482 --> 00:16:30,792
This is not gonna
get away from me this time.
509
00:16:30,862 --> 00:16:31,932
- Oh.
510
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,280
- Okay, it goes one, and two.
511
00:16:33,344 --> 00:16:34,414
Tied up!
- Indeed.
512
00:16:34,482 --> 00:16:36,592
- [laughs]
513
00:16:38,172 --> 00:16:40,932
[soft R&B music]
514
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,690
- [chuckles]
515
00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:44,688
I would've paid money to watch
Veronica make your plate.
516
00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:46,278
- Miss Independent?
517
00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:47,694
Would'a sent her moral compass
into shock.
518
00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:49,338
- [laughs]
519
00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:50,693
Remember when she changed
the voice on her navigation
520
00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:52,518
to a woman?
521
00:16:52,586 --> 00:16:53,786
- 'Cause she didn't want a man
telling her what to do?
522
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:55,722
- Hoo!
523
00:16:55,793 --> 00:16:58,453
How come you never
told me about you two?
524
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,097
- I just don't wanna put her
business out there
525
00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:01,762
like that, you know?
526
00:17:01,827 --> 00:17:03,307
- Yeah, 'cause you know,
we start cross-pollinatin',
527
00:17:03,379 --> 00:17:06,589
it's gonna throw our whole
group friendship vibe off.
528
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,445
I mean, did it?
529
00:17:08,517 --> 00:17:10,237
- Did what?
530
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,070
- Mess up the friendship
between you two?
531
00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:13,407
- Nuh-uh, we grown.
532
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:15,592
We knew what it was
when it started.
533
00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:18,685
[phone buzzes]
534
00:17:19,965 --> 00:17:21,375
Greg says,
"Come to the wine cellar."
535
00:17:21,448 --> 00:17:23,378
- Cool, let's go!
- All right.
536
00:17:23,448 --> 00:17:25,548
♪ ♪
537
00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:26,900
Nigga.
538
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:29,615
♪ ♪
539
00:17:29,689 --> 00:17:30,689
- [chuckles]
But so,
540
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,238
my dad has this new hobby,
541
00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:33,970
and, well, he wants
to show off a little bit.
542
00:17:34,034 --> 00:17:35,034
- Dope, what is it?
543
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:36,243
- [clicks tongue]
Um--
544
00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:38,030
- [snaps fingers]
A train set.
545
00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:40,033
- No.
- Oh, a stamp collection.
546
00:17:40,103 --> 00:17:41,453
- What?
547
00:17:41,517 --> 00:17:44,547
- [gasps]
I got it--a proctology trophy.
548
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:47,240
[bassy hip hop]
549
00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:49,382
- Welcome to my grow room!
550
00:17:49,448 --> 00:17:51,098
[chuckles]
551
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:53,592
- This was not my next guess.
552
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,825
- ♪ Light it up, dog ♪
553
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,516
- You got a bomb-ass dad.
554
00:17:56,586 --> 00:18:00,096
- I've had a few missteps,
but I finally figured out
555
00:18:00,172 --> 00:18:03,382
the right balance of
light, water, and fertilizer.
556
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:04,928
[chuckles]
557
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,480
- Oh, you one of those
"doctor" doctors.
558
00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:08,241
- Doctor Feelgood.
559
00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:09,900
- So much of a doctor
that my dad actually believes
560
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:13,135
in the medical benefits
of, well, cannabis.
561
00:18:13,206 --> 00:18:15,306
- And it's just fun
to get high!
562
00:18:15,379 --> 00:18:18,309
[laughter]
563
00:18:18,379 --> 00:18:20,209
- Nah, I'm good.
564
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:22,715
Job drug tests, and frankly,
I don't know y'all like that.
565
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:26,073
- I, on the other hand,
have a substance-friendly job
566
00:18:26,137 --> 00:18:28,337
and I already feel like I'm
very much part of the family.
567
00:18:28,413 --> 00:18:30,313
Thank you, sir!
- [sarcastic giggle]
568
00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:31,829
- I'd like it even better if
I could light both of these.
569
00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:32,826
- Boom!
570
00:18:32,896 --> 00:18:34,996
- Pow!
[laughs]
571
00:18:35,068 --> 00:18:37,168
Light 'em up!
[laughs]
572
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,621
- So, the women get to
cook, serve, and clean.
573
00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:43,409
What kinda "Leave It
To Beaver," Stone Age,
574
00:18:43,482 --> 00:18:45,242
barefoot and pregnant mess
is this?
575
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:46,590
- Okay,
can we please go back
576
00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:47,585
to when you weren't
sayin' shit?
577
00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:48,615
- And how you gonna clean up
578
00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:49,829
at your own engagement party?
579
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:50,896
You know what, girl?
580
00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:51,995
Just--I got it.
Sit down.
581
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:53,828
I got this.
582
00:18:55,862 --> 00:18:57,342
You know what?
583
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:58,413
As a matter of fact,
stand yo' ass back up.
584
00:18:58,482 --> 00:18:59,412
- What?
Like, why?
585
00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:00,662
- Okay?
586
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:02,864
It's yo' fault I'm even here!
587
00:19:02,931 --> 00:19:04,481
I got better shit I could do,
588
00:19:04,551 --> 00:19:07,831
I could be at home
foam rolling my cellulite.
589
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,406
Here.
590
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,722
- You know what?
Let them clown me on Instagram.
591
00:19:10,793 --> 00:19:12,243
Y'know, I'm a classy bitch.
592
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:15,690
They don't know
no real Tracy Davis.
593
00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:17,898
[eerie percussive music]
594
00:19:17,965 --> 00:19:19,925
You know,
you're real easy to talk to.
595
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,240
♪ ♪
596
00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:23,620
- [rings glass]
Everyone!
597
00:19:23,689 --> 00:19:25,719
Can I get your attention,
please?
598
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:27,523
Ah, sweetheart.
Come up here, please.
599
00:19:27,586 --> 00:19:29,686
Um, I just want
to take a second
600
00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:31,858
to thank everyone for tonight.
601
00:19:31,931 --> 00:19:34,281
It means so much to us
602
00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:37,034
to be surrounded
by people that we love.
603
00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:38,383
Oh!
Real quick,
604
00:19:38,448 --> 00:19:39,828
I wanted to give
a special shout-out
605
00:19:39,896 --> 00:19:41,786
to my new best friend,
606
00:19:41,862 --> 00:19:43,552
Deon!
Yeah, man.
607
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:46,170
Deon, it was your words
the other day
608
00:19:46,241 --> 00:19:49,311
that encouraged me to plan
this whole thing for Layne.
609
00:19:49,379 --> 00:19:52,999
Thank you for reminding me
what brings family--
610
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,208
and friends,
who are also like family--
611
00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:56,205
together.
612
00:19:56,275 --> 00:19:57,655
- [stammers]
613
00:19:57,724 --> 00:19:59,074
I didn't say all that.
614
00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:00,167
- To Deon, guys.
615
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,481
together: To Deon!
616
00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:03,341
- But tonight,
[clears throat]
617
00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:05,173
tonight is about my soulmate.
618
00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:07,691
And I would like to present her
with a symbol of my love
619
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,338
right here, right now.
620
00:20:10,413 --> 00:20:11,933
Sweetheart...
621
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,550
let's make this official.
622
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,830
[attendees murmur]
623
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:16,516
- Hey, hey,
if she don't--
624
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:18,616
she don't wanna marry you,
I'll marry you, Greg.
625
00:20:18,689 --> 00:20:20,759
That wasn't an open invite,
Uncle Al.
626
00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:22,377
- On a scale of one
to Bobby Brown,
627
00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:23,518
how high are you?
628
00:20:23,586 --> 00:20:25,096
- What's wrong with you?
- Psh, psh.
629
00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:26,412
- Well, it is a ring!
630
00:20:26,482 --> 00:20:27,932
- It is a ring.
- It's a ring.
631
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,830
- Boom.
[chuckles]
632
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:30,996
Wow!
633
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:31,998
[cheers and applause]
634
00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:32,998
Yes!
635
00:20:33,068 --> 00:20:34,408
- Speech!
- Speech!
636
00:20:34,482 --> 00:20:35,522
[others shouting "Speech!"]
637
00:20:35,586 --> 00:20:37,026
- Oh--guys, no.
638
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,103
Well, if you want to,
sweetheart.
639
00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:49,071
- Well, you know, love is...
640
00:20:49,137 --> 00:20:50,477
♪ It's a battlef-- ♪
641
00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:52,721
Uh, um, uh,
642
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,973
love is a battlefield, yeah.
643
00:20:55,034 --> 00:20:57,104
And, um, you know,
644
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,862
I'm willin' to hunker down
and fight that fight with you.
645
00:20:59,931 --> 00:21:02,381
- Yeah.
- Against the world.
646
00:21:02,448 --> 00:21:03,758
Us and you.
647
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,137
Hunkerin' down,
fightin' the good fight.
648
00:21:05,206 --> 00:21:06,376
Um...
649
00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:07,758
because, you know,
650
00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:09,717
love is not patient...
or kind,
651
00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:11,103
like the thing they say
652
00:21:11,172 --> 00:21:12,382
when you get married
at a wedding.
653
00:21:12,448 --> 00:21:15,168
Um, it is, um, it's hard.
654
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,141
It's really hard.
655
00:21:17,206 --> 00:21:21,166
It requires a lot of time
and focus and money
656
00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:23,761
and sacrifices,
and it's suffering!
657
00:21:23,827 --> 00:21:25,067
[stammers]
658
00:21:25,137 --> 00:21:26,067
There, I said it,
it's suffering.
659
00:21:26,137 --> 00:21:27,757
You guys are thinking it,
660
00:21:27,827 --> 00:21:28,927
you're lookin' at me
thinkin' it,
661
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,100
I'm saying it, it's suffering.
662
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:31,452
So that is what we're gonna do.
663
00:21:31,517 --> 00:21:33,447
We're gonna suffer together,
yes!
664
00:21:33,517 --> 00:21:36,407
And get sick and,
you know, probably die.
665
00:21:36,482 --> 00:21:38,522
And end up in the
cold, cold ground,
666
00:21:38,586 --> 00:21:40,616
and I'm willin'
to fight for that.
667
00:21:40,689 --> 00:21:43,899
That's what this ring means,
so, yeah.
668
00:21:43,965 --> 00:21:46,615
I love him,
if that's what love means.
669
00:21:46,689 --> 00:21:48,339
Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
670
00:21:48,413 --> 00:21:49,593
- Yes.
671
00:21:49,655 --> 00:21:50,895
- Cheers!
together: Cheers!
672
00:21:50,965 --> 00:21:52,025
[applause]
673
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:53,073
- Shalom!
- Right.
674
00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,207
- Beautiful!
675
00:21:54,275 --> 00:21:56,065
- Here's to love!
- Yeah.
676
00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:59,137
[crickets chirping]
677
00:22:03,206 --> 00:22:05,066
Oh!
678
00:22:05,137 --> 00:22:06,787
- What the hell is your plan?
- What are you talking about?
679
00:22:06,862 --> 00:22:08,102
- Uh, unless you start
taking this seriously,
680
00:22:08,172 --> 00:22:09,832
you're gonna end up
in Alpharetta
681
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:11,376
poppin' out doctor babies
with a man that don't even know
682
00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:13,448
that you hate surprise parties
and matching sweaters.
683
00:22:13,517 --> 00:22:14,717
- Is this because
you feel guilty
684
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:16,073
for planning this entire party?
685
00:22:16,137 --> 00:22:17,617
- I don't feel guilty!
686
00:22:17,689 --> 00:22:19,029
I didn't organize it,
687
00:22:19,103 --> 00:22:20,663
your man hears
what he wants to hear.
688
00:22:20,724 --> 00:22:22,314
- Okay, why are you so mad?
689
00:22:22,379 --> 00:22:24,409
- Because I'm a friend,
and friends speak up.
690
00:22:24,482 --> 00:22:26,142
We don't just sit here
and watch this go on.
691
00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:28,856
- Maybe starry-eyed passion
692
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,211
and mind-blowing orgasms
are overrated.
693
00:22:31,275 --> 00:22:32,715
Maybe at the end of the day,
694
00:22:32,793 --> 00:22:33,903
you just want somebody
to grow old with.
695
00:22:33,965 --> 00:22:35,405
- Is that
what'll make you happy?
696
00:22:35,482 --> 00:22:37,172
- Everyone in our friend group
is single
697
00:22:37,241 --> 00:22:38,661
and pretty messed up.
698
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:40,244
Are any of us happy?
699
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:41,550
[knock at door]
700
00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:42,720
- I just thought
I'd check on you, sis.
701
00:22:42,793 --> 00:22:44,763
- Oh, well thank you for that.
702
00:22:48,172 --> 00:22:50,212
- Damn!
703
00:22:50,275 --> 00:22:52,515
How can I get in
on this rotation?
704
00:22:52,586 --> 00:22:54,306
I'm sayin'!
705
00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:55,999
[crickets chirping]
706
00:22:56,068 --> 00:22:58,138
- [exhales]
707
00:22:58,206 --> 00:23:00,306
Why you got
your high glasses on?
708
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,929
- Because I'm high.
709
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,240
- [laughs]
What'd you smoke?
710
00:23:05,310 --> 00:23:06,790
- I don't know.
711
00:23:06,862 --> 00:23:09,102
It's supposed to have
some kinda energizing effect
712
00:23:09,172 --> 00:23:11,142
to prevent arthritis.
713
00:23:11,206 --> 00:23:14,826
- Your party experience was
way more fun than mine.
714
00:23:14,896 --> 00:23:16,446
[chuckling]
715
00:23:16,517 --> 00:23:18,067
- So we're done, right?
716
00:23:18,137 --> 00:23:19,717
- Absolutely.
717
00:23:19,793 --> 00:23:21,793
Now that everybody knows.
718
00:23:21,862 --> 00:23:23,312
- It's not as fun anymore.
719
00:23:23,379 --> 00:23:25,859
- Well, I was gonna say
boring as hell.
720
00:23:25,931 --> 00:23:28,971
[chuckling]
721
00:23:30,517 --> 00:23:31,857
You want a drink?
722
00:23:31,931 --> 00:23:33,551
- Yeah, sure.
723
00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:35,280
- Okay, good.
724
00:23:35,344 --> 00:23:36,764
Get me one too, homey.
725
00:23:36,827 --> 00:23:38,477
- Oh!
726
00:23:38,551 --> 00:23:41,281
Nope, that only worked
when we was fuckin', homey.
727
00:23:41,344 --> 00:23:42,384
Mm.
728
00:23:47,448 --> 00:23:50,378
[R&B music]
729
00:23:50,448 --> 00:23:56,858
♪ ♪
730
00:24:00,310 --> 00:24:02,930
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪
731
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:09,140
[indistinct singing]
732
00:24:09,206 --> 00:24:11,656
♪ And don't really mean it ♪
733
00:24:11,724 --> 00:24:13,484
♪ ♪
734
00:24:13,551 --> 00:24:16,241
- So, this happened.
735
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,170
And I don't know
how your mom pulled it off,
736
00:24:18,241 --> 00:24:20,141
but it fits perfectly.
737
00:24:20,206 --> 00:24:22,516
♪ ♪
738
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,446
- ♪ I'm committed ♪
739
00:24:24,517 --> 00:24:25,967
♪ ♪
740
00:24:26,034 --> 00:24:27,214
- Is everything okay?
741
00:24:27,275 --> 00:24:29,305
- ♪ Oh, woman ♪
742
00:24:29,379 --> 00:24:32,659
♪ ♪
743
00:24:32,724 --> 00:24:34,664
- Sometimes my patients...
744
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:39,174
they get so frustrated
when they can't get pregnant.
745
00:24:39,241 --> 00:24:41,171
I mean,
people have babies every day,
746
00:24:41,241 --> 00:24:45,381
so they can't really figure out
why something so simple...
747
00:24:45,448 --> 00:24:47,338
is so damn hard.
748
00:24:47,413 --> 00:24:48,833
♪ ♪
749
00:24:48,896 --> 00:24:50,446
- Why you talkin' about babies?
750
00:24:50,517 --> 00:24:52,167
♪ ♪
751
00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:56,141
- Not one bridal magazine,
not one Instagram post,
752
00:24:56,206 --> 00:24:58,476
no talk of a fall
or summer wedding,
753
00:24:58,551 --> 00:25:00,001
church, or destination.
754
00:25:00,068 --> 00:25:03,618
Hell, you couldn't even
pick out a ring.
755
00:25:03,689 --> 00:25:05,239
And then that speech?
756
00:25:05,310 --> 00:25:06,240
- [exasperated sigh]
757
00:25:06,310 --> 00:25:07,520
Okay, well,
758
00:25:07,586 --> 00:25:09,376
you know I need,
like, bullet points.
759
00:25:09,448 --> 00:25:12,208
- [inhales]
Know what the kicker is?
760
00:25:12,275 --> 00:25:13,205
[exhales]
761
00:25:13,275 --> 00:25:15,205
I called your mom.
762
00:25:15,275 --> 00:25:17,515
I wanted to send her a picture
of the engagement ring
763
00:25:17,586 --> 00:25:19,136
so she'd feel included.
764
00:25:19,206 --> 00:25:21,756
- ♪ How'd you feel? ♪
765
00:25:21,827 --> 00:25:23,377
- Fuck.
766
00:25:23,448 --> 00:25:26,278
- She didn't even know
that we were engaged.
767
00:25:26,344 --> 00:25:28,414
♪ ♪
768
00:25:28,482 --> 00:25:30,032
- Greg, I...
769
00:25:30,103 --> 00:25:31,523
I...
770
00:25:31,586 --> 00:25:34,716
- You know,
the signs were all there.
771
00:25:34,793 --> 00:25:37,103
And I just chose
not to see them.
772
00:25:37,172 --> 00:25:42,522
[man singing indistinctly]
773
00:25:42,586 --> 00:25:44,376
- So, I had my doubts.
774
00:25:44,448 --> 00:25:46,758
But I...
775
00:25:46,827 --> 00:25:50,207
am all in.
776
00:25:50,275 --> 00:25:53,065
And now with both feet
and arms.
777
00:25:53,137 --> 00:25:56,207
- [takes deep breath]
And sometimes...
778
00:25:56,275 --> 00:26:02,965
when something is so simple,
and too damn hard,
779
00:26:03,034 --> 00:26:07,454
maybe it's just because
it wasn't meant to be.
780
00:26:07,517 --> 00:26:08,927
[music fades]
781
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,720
Layne, you don't have
to pretend any more.
782
00:26:12,793 --> 00:26:15,453
It's over.
783
00:26:15,517 --> 00:26:18,447
- Get in here, love birds!
You're up next!
784
00:26:19,172 --> 00:26:20,172
- Coming!
785
00:26:36,137 --> 00:26:37,377
- Queued up your song
and everything!
786
00:26:37,448 --> 00:26:38,378
[chuckles]
787
00:26:38,448 --> 00:26:39,378
- Thank you!
788
00:26:39,448 --> 00:26:40,658
- Great.
789
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:44,484
Dad, um, why don't we,
uh, sing?
790
00:26:44,551 --> 00:26:46,341
- Okay.
[chuckles]
791
00:26:46,413 --> 00:26:48,283
["You're The One That I Want"
from "Grease" plays]
792
00:26:48,344 --> 00:26:50,144
[her singing, him speaking]
♪ The one that I want ♪
793
00:26:50,206 --> 00:26:51,276
- ♪ You are the one I want ♪
- You are the one, not.
794
00:26:51,344 --> 00:26:52,624
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
795
00:26:52,689 --> 00:26:54,479
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
796
00:26:54,551 --> 00:26:55,621
- ♪ You are the one I want ♪
- You are the one, not.
797
00:26:55,689 --> 00:26:57,239
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
798
00:26:57,310 --> 00:26:59,100
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
799
00:26:59,172 --> 00:27:00,212
♪ You are the one I want ♪
- You are the one, not.
800
00:27:00,275 --> 00:27:01,685
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
801
00:27:01,758 --> 00:27:03,308
- [deadpanning]
The one that I need.
802
00:27:03,379 --> 00:27:06,659
- ♪ Oh, yes indeed ♪
- Oh, yes, indeed.
803
00:27:06,724 --> 00:27:09,034
- They're actually perfect
for each other.
804
00:27:09,103 --> 00:27:10,033
[laughs]
805
00:27:10,103 --> 00:27:11,343
- Mm, or somethin'.
806
00:27:14,448 --> 00:27:16,028
[loud hip hop music]
807
00:27:16,103 --> 00:27:17,523
- Hey, sexy ass.
808
00:27:17,586 --> 00:27:18,996
This is a pleasant surprise.
809
00:27:19,068 --> 00:27:20,658
Your doctor on call?
810
00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:21,794
- [bawls]
811
00:27:21,862 --> 00:27:23,282
- Whoa, what's happenin' now?
812
00:27:23,344 --> 00:27:24,724
- [sobs]
813
00:27:24,793 --> 00:27:27,903
I don't know,
and it is not sexy!
814
00:27:27,965 --> 00:27:30,375
[sobs]
815
00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:32,828
My doctor--my fiancé,
he left me!
816
00:27:32,896 --> 00:27:34,686
- Okay, cool.
817
00:27:34,758 --> 00:27:37,338
Um, I'm sorry, I'm not really
a good shoulder to cry on,
818
00:27:37,413 --> 00:27:39,213
but you know, if you need
a hard dick to sit on,
819
00:27:39,275 --> 00:27:41,065
I got that for you,
you know what I'm saying?
820
00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:43,207
- Can we just talk?
821
00:27:43,275 --> 00:27:45,065
- Talk?
822
00:27:45,137 --> 00:27:47,407
Yeah, I'm not really
good at that.
823
00:27:47,482 --> 00:27:50,172
Um, you're really cool,
you know what I'm saying?
824
00:27:50,241 --> 00:27:52,001
Like, real, real cool.
825
00:27:52,068 --> 00:27:54,208
Um, a'ight, good luck.
826
00:27:56,275 --> 00:27:59,275
- [sobbing]
827
00:28:01,241 --> 00:28:03,591
[TLC's
"What About Your Friends"]
828
00:28:03,655 --> 00:28:06,025
- ♪ What about your friends? ♪
829
00:28:06,103 --> 00:28:08,103
♪ Will they
stand their ground? ♪
830
00:28:08,172 --> 00:28:10,382
♪ Will they let you down? ♪
831
00:28:10,448 --> 00:28:11,928
♪ And ♪
832
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,070
♪ Oh, what about
your friends? ♪
833
00:28:15,137 --> 00:28:17,337
♪ Will they be all down? ♪
834
00:28:17,413 --> 00:28:19,723
♪ Will they ever be around? ♪
835
00:28:19,793 --> 00:28:21,383
♪ ♪
836
00:28:21,448 --> 00:28:26,658
♪ Or will they turn
their backs on you? ♪
837
00:28:26,724 --> 00:28:28,834
- The Lambdas are the hottest
frat boys on campus,
838
00:28:28,896 --> 00:28:30,586
and right now,
they hold the key to my dreams.
839
00:28:30,655 --> 00:28:32,685
- Please!
We have everything we need.
840
00:28:32,758 --> 00:28:34,998
Damn, he's so cute!
841
00:28:35,068 --> 00:28:36,788
- Nah, different is cool.
842
00:28:36,862 --> 00:28:38,862
Don't let the Lambdas
or anybody else change you.
843
00:28:38,931 --> 00:28:40,791
- You're good!
- I know.
844
00:28:40,862 --> 00:28:43,212
- I didn't know
he was your cousin!
845
00:28:43,275 --> 00:28:44,545
- What are you doing?
846
00:28:44,620 --> 00:28:45,790
- Stop trying
to fuck my friend!
847
00:28:47,034 --> 00:28:48,904
- So what's really good
with your boy, Deon?
848
00:28:48,965 --> 00:28:53,025
- He's more like a friend
who is a boy, not a boyfriend.
849
00:28:53,103 --> 00:28:54,103
Yeah.
850
00:29:01,379 --> 00:29:03,759
- ♪ Light it up, dog ♪
851
00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:06,207
♪ Put it in the air ♪
852
00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:07,825
♪ What you waitin' for? ♪
853
00:29:07,896 --> 00:29:09,096
- ♪ What you waitin' for,
nigga? ♪
854
00:29:09,172 --> 00:29:11,212
- ♪ My nigga, you scared? ♪
855
00:29:11,275 --> 00:29:13,995
♪ I'm tryna get lifted ♪
- ♪ Lifted] ♪
856
00:29:14,068 --> 00:29:16,138
- ♪ Know what I mean? ♪
857
00:29:16,206 --> 00:29:18,026
♪ Bustin' out for this shit ♪
858
00:29:18,103 --> 00:29:19,173
- ♪ Right here ♪
859
00:29:19,241 --> 00:29:21,141
- ♪ Tryna get it? ♪
860
00:29:21,206 --> 00:29:22,546
♪ Light it up, dog ♪
861
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:23,760
- ♪ Light it up, dog ♪
862
00:29:23,827 --> 00:29:25,587
- ♪ Put it in the air ♪
863
00:29:25,655 --> 00:29:26,855
- ♪ Yeah ♪
864
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:28,381
- ♪ What you waitin' for? ♪
58413
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