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1
00:00:10,413 --> 00:00:12,965
Damn.
Internet's harsh.
2
00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:14,620
[computer voice]
Scrubbed 90%.
3
00:00:14,689 --> 00:00:16,620
Oh, so close.
4
00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:19,896
[Edmund]
Oh, good, you're here.
5
00:00:19,965 --> 00:00:22,206
So we're launching
Scrubr in a week.
6
00:00:22,275 --> 00:00:23,241
What?!
7
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,758
[phone chiming]Ugh, it's Tom.
8
00:00:24,827 --> 00:00:26,034
Who's Tom?!
9
00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:28,000
Our lead investor.
You met him.
10
00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:30,551
Look, he's called six times
in the last 48 hours.
11
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,034
If he calls you,
don't pick up.
12
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:33,310
Why are we launching
this in a week?
13
00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:34,827
We need more coders.
14
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:36,827
Also, it's not even
testing efficiently.
15
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:38,862
Because we're running
out of money
16
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:40,965
and I may or may not
have told the investors
17
00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:42,827
that we're 100%
ready to go
18
00:00:42,896 --> 00:00:44,758
and expecting a million
paid downloads on day one.
19
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,034
Why would you do that?
20
00:00:46,103 --> 00:00:48,000
Because that's what
we do in Silicon Valley.
21
00:00:48,068 --> 00:00:50,034
We move fast.
We break things.
22
00:00:50,103 --> 00:00:51,655
We over-promise, over-deliver.
23
00:00:51,724 --> 00:00:52,862
We fake it
till we make it.
24
00:00:52,931 --> 00:00:55,068
So conning.No, it's not conning.
25
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,793
It's not relevant
because I saved us
26
00:00:57,862 --> 00:00:59,724
by calling in a favor
from very high up,
27
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,379
and I got us a meeting
with Jerry fucking Harrison.
28
00:01:02,448 --> 00:01:04,137
No way.Yeah.
29
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:06,172
The guy with the hammer
with the big fruits?
30
00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:07,931
Comes out
with the overalls?
31
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,862
Nice ass.No, Gallagher?
32
00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:11,862
Big ol' fatty?You're horny for Gallagher?
33
00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:13,689
No, it's Jerry Harrison,
34
00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:16,448
the messiah for millennial
tech-based marketing.
35
00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:17,758
We're gonna go
meet him tonight.
36
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,172
Here's his Insta.
37
00:01:19,241 --> 00:01:21,344
Oh, cool.
He hangs out with Skrillex.
38
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:22,827
Yeah, and Martha Plimpton.
39
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,310
He's in Martha Plimpton's home.
40
00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:25,517
Villa in Turks and Caicos.
41
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,689
I thought it was
"Keikos."
42
00:01:26,758 --> 00:01:28,206
No.[phone chiming]
43
00:01:28,275 --> 00:01:29,793
Ugh, please tell me
that's not Tom.
44
00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:31,793
No, it's Daniel,
your doorman.
45
00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:34,206
Daniel? My doorman?
Why's he calling you?
46
00:01:34,275 --> 00:01:37,034
Because we recently connected.
He aged really hot.
47
00:01:37,103 --> 00:01:38,517
And I need pussy!
Get outta here!
48
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:39,827
Oh, God.
49
00:01:39,896 --> 00:01:42,586
Let me get my goddamn
game on. Shit.
50
00:01:42,655 --> 00:01:45,655
♪♪
51
00:01:51,206 --> 00:01:53,482
I mean, I like Alice.
52
00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:55,827
Just she has a lot
of breakdowns.
53
00:01:55,896 --> 00:01:57,448
I don't like it
when they cry.
54
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,172
[laughing]
55
00:01:59,241 --> 00:02:00,310
All right, I'll see you
next week.
56
00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:02,551
Oh, no, no, wait.
I made you something.
57
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,689
Wait. Oh.What?
58
00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:09,724
Oh, cool!
59
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,344
A spoon!
60
00:02:11,413 --> 00:02:12,517
No, no, no, no, no.
61
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:14,517
It's a deconstructed
mirror.
62
00:02:14,586 --> 00:02:16,758
It represents
the controlled chaos
63
00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:18,275
I see in you.
64
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:20,034
Well, thanks.
65
00:02:20,103 --> 00:02:21,068
Yeah.
66
00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:25,827
Do you wanna go
on a date sometime?
67
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,620
I'm having rectal surgery
next week.
68
00:02:30,103 --> 00:02:31,793
I'm kidding!
69
00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,172
Is that a yes or a no?Yes, of course!
70
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,275
Okay.
71
00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:38,862
♪♪
72
00:02:38,931 --> 00:02:41,517
[club music plays]
73
00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:43,172
[Jerry]
Yo, yo, what up?!
74
00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:44,758
Team Scrub-a-dub-dub
75
00:02:44,827 --> 00:02:46,655
all up in my club!
76
00:02:46,724 --> 00:02:49,068
This is business, baby!
Whoo!
77
00:02:49,137 --> 00:02:51,103
Wow.Is this his office?
78
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:55,206
Whoop, whoop!
Team Scrubr in da hey-yo!
79
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,586
Jere, thank you so much
for meeting us.
80
00:02:57,655 --> 00:03:00,758
Um, we just brought
some materials--
81
00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:02,275
branding guidelines,
rough designs, and whatnot.
82
00:03:02,344 --> 00:03:04,068
Okay, cool.
Let me see that.
83
00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:05,310
Yeah!
84
00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:06,758
[glass shattering,
electrical buzzing]
85
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:08,965
Oh...
86
00:03:09,034 --> 00:03:10,620
That's what
I think of that.
87
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:13,448
Folks, this is the future.
88
00:03:13,517 --> 00:03:15,793
Brand strategy, PR,
digital marketing--
89
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,379
none of it matters!
90
00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:20,172
Unless you have the what?
The...
91
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,137
Hair.
92
00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,551
Coping mechanism...
93
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,172
Dream, stupid.
94
00:03:25,241 --> 00:03:27,241
Dream.Dream.
95
00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:29,241
[panting, chuckling]What is that?
96
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,965
Oh, this? This is my B12
supplement, yeah.Oh.
97
00:03:32,034 --> 00:03:33,448
It's super healthy.
98
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:34,965
It's like great
for my workouts.
99
00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:36,448
It works faster
if you snort it.
100
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,310
Oh!
Oh, cool, yeah.Yeah.
101
00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:40,103
It's really good
for your fingernails.
102
00:03:40,172 --> 00:03:41,586
[snorting]
103
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:42,827
Feel that
in your hemorrhoids.
104
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:44,068
[laughing]
105
00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:45,379
Right?
106
00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:48,689
It's like almost like
a... gasoline element to it.
107
00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:49,965
Oh, my God.
Then that's my coke.
108
00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:51,172
I'm sorry.
This is my B12.
109
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:54,068
'Cause I usually use--
My bad, huh.
110
00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:55,758
Hey, Corinna,
this old lady
111
00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:57,068
just snorted half
of my coke.
112
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,827
Can I get some more?
113
00:03:58,896 --> 00:04:00,241
Why are we here,
Edmund?
114
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:01,413
I just did cocaine.
115
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:02,379
The tip of my nose
is sweatin'.
116
00:04:02,448 --> 00:04:03,793
Oh, yeah. Speeding.
117
00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:04,793
Yeah!
118
00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:06,137
Look, can you at least act
119
00:04:06,206 --> 00:04:07,896
like you've been at
a marketing meeting before?
120
00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:10,103
This guy's sleazy.
He's bullshittin' us.
121
00:04:10,172 --> 00:04:11,689
And that was real cocaine!
I gotta go.
122
00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:15,172
Oh, you're waddling.
123
00:04:15,241 --> 00:04:17,034
Hey, where'd
your aunt go?
124
00:04:17,103 --> 00:04:19,034
Why does she sound
like Danny DeVito?
125
00:04:19,103 --> 00:04:21,655
Oh, it's more of
a young Carol Channing.
126
00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:22,689
She just went
to the bathroom.
127
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:23,965
Well, that's gross.
128
00:04:24,034 --> 00:04:25,551
Um, all right, listen.
129
00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:28,379
The answer to all
your marketing needs...
130
00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:32,379
is a giant newsworthy,
history-making party
131
00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:34,310
this Saturday night.
132
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:36,206
Wait, this Saturday?Uh-huh.
133
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,551
I mean, that sounds great.
It just seems a little fast.
134
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:39,724
Let me tell you
something.
135
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:42,448
We market Scrubr
to a demographic
136
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:45,827
of-- of highly impressionable
yuppie millennials.
137
00:04:45,896 --> 00:04:47,655
Dude, we're gonna break
the fucking matrix.
138
00:04:47,724 --> 00:04:49,689
You are a genius.
139
00:04:49,758 --> 00:04:52,827
Now let's talk about
the face of our product.
140
00:04:52,896 --> 00:04:54,137
That would be Nora.
141
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,241
That's a terrible idea.
142
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:56,793
She's a hard four,
and I don't know
143
00:04:56,862 --> 00:04:57,862
how to market that shit.
144
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,379
[Nora groaning,
toilet flushing]
145
00:04:59,448 --> 00:05:01,275
Good Lord![Nora continues groaning]
146
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,448
Okay, just clean her up
for our audience.
147
00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:05,620
And yeah, the clam
is ours for the suckin'.
148
00:05:05,689 --> 00:05:07,862
You know what I mean?
[makes sucking sounds]
149
00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:13,482
Hey, Wally, do you have
any AA batteries?
150
00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:20,655
[exhales]
151
00:05:21,896 --> 00:05:23,448
What the heck?
152
00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:32,241
[camera shutter clicks]
153
00:05:43,689 --> 00:05:45,965
Lewei's so lame.
154
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,724
Okay, Jerry,
are you ready
155
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,758
to see the new Nora?
156
00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:57,103
This is truly
my best work.
157
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:58,448
Get out!
158
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:03,000
Thin-rimmed glasses,
side ponytail,
159
00:06:03,068 --> 00:06:05,000
post-post-modern
Japanese turtleneck,
160
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,862
health goth sweatpants,
and nylon-sock shoes.
161
00:06:07,931 --> 00:06:09,827
It's so tech,
it's perfect.
162
00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:11,068
Thank you.
163
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,344
[mimics Elizabeth Holmes]
Yeah, thank you.
164
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,689
Wait...
[wheezing laugh]
165
00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:16,206
Are you doing the, um...
166
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:17,758
the Elizabeth Holmes
voice?
167
00:06:17,827 --> 00:06:20,827
Ooh, my God,
that is such a great idea.
168
00:06:20,896 --> 00:06:22,931
Edmund, great job, baby.
169
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,931
You know who else
did a great job?
170
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,137
Uh, me.
171
00:06:26,206 --> 00:06:28,000
Check out
this ad I made.
172
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:31,689
Behold, the Scrubr
launch fest.
173
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:32,965
Hoo...
174
00:06:33,034 --> 00:06:34,965
Wow, cronuts.
175
00:06:35,034 --> 00:06:36,551
[Jerry]
Dronuts.
176
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,137
They're cronuts
delivered by drones.
177
00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:40,172
VIP tents and villas.
178
00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:42,689
Oh, that one looks
like the Flintstone house.
179
00:06:42,758 --> 00:06:46,206
Yeah, and all for
the small price of 45K.
180
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,655
♪♪
181
00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:51,034
A Lady Marmalade reunion?![Jerry snickering]
182
00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:53,517
Oh, my God, Jerry,
this party's gonna
be incredible.
183
00:06:53,586 --> 00:06:54,620
I know.
184
00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:58,103
♪♪
185
00:06:58,172 --> 00:06:59,965
[deep voice]
Scrubr!
186
00:07:00,034 --> 00:07:01,724
Jerry, I am so impressed,
187
00:07:01,793 --> 00:07:04,068
I just took
a mocho-choco-lata-yaya
188
00:07:04,137 --> 00:07:05,241
in my pants.
189
00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:07,448
Did you come?Not really.
190
00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,931
If we need to get this done
by Saturday, though,
191
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,586
we still have
a lot of work to do.
192
00:07:10,655 --> 00:07:12,931
You lost your octave.
193
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,068
[deep voice]
In order to accomplish
this by Saturday,
194
00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:17,689
we have a lot of work
to do to pursue our mission
195
00:07:17,758 --> 00:07:19,172
that we initially set forth.
196
00:07:19,241 --> 00:07:21,482
Good, but you blinked
like five times.
197
00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,172
Elizabeth Holmes never blinks.
198
00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:24,413
[deep voice]
I'll work on that.
199
00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:29,000
Fuck!
200
00:07:30,206 --> 00:07:31,862
[muttering]30%.
201
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:34,379
Your tag is off right there.No, it's not working!
202
00:07:34,448 --> 00:07:35,482
No...It doesn't...
203
00:07:35,551 --> 00:07:36,586
[Jerry]
Incoming!
204
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:38,482
There's my Venus,
there's my fire.
205
00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:39,620
Here I am, your desire.
206
00:07:39,689 --> 00:07:40,724
Boom!
207
00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:46,793
What do y'all think
of collapsible mansions?
208
00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:48,724
Stadium seating.
209
00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:50,137
Ice room.
210
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:52,655
Vodka luge.
211
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:55,827
Wow, Jerry,
this is fantastic.
212
00:07:55,896 --> 00:07:59,413
Um, so the code
is still rough,
213
00:07:59,482 --> 00:08:01,172
but it's getting
there and...
214
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,000
Doesn't matter, okay?
215
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:05,689
We don't get downloads
by having a perfect product.
216
00:08:05,758 --> 00:08:08,724
We get downloads
by marketing a perfect...
217
00:08:08,793 --> 00:08:10,172
Product.Product.
218
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:11,931
That's right. Thank you. Yes.[phone vibrating]
219
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,034
Edmund?[Jerry] What up, homes?
220
00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:15,344
I don't feel good
about this.
221
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:17,275
No. Stop.No, it's weird. It--
222
00:08:17,344 --> 00:08:20,655
I'm stupid, but I know,
I know enough
223
00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:23,172
that this is impossible.
224
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,482
He knows what
he's talking about.
225
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:25,862
Stop being difficult.
Look, he's wearing a Henley
226
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:28,758
and a Seersucker blazer,
he's a genius.
227
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,172
Okay, No-ra?
228
00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:31,275
It's just Nora.
229
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,620
Got you an interview
230
00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,413
with "Ferbes" magazine.
231
00:08:34,482 --> 00:08:35,758
What is "Ferbes"?
232
00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:37,758
Millennial "Forbes,"
yeah!
233
00:08:37,827 --> 00:08:39,517
It's much more "audienced."
234
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,724
Man, they don't even
have a website.
235
00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:41,862
They have a hashtag.
236
00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:43,379
So where will
the interview be posted?
237
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:44,827
Nowhere.But everywhere, yeah.
238
00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:46,448
But everywhere.
That's right.
239
00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:47,758
Come on, bring it in.
240
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,965
Here, hook me up. No.Okay.
241
00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:53,068
How are you enjoying
your...
242
00:08:53,137 --> 00:08:54,724
[deep voice]
Death by Poison?
243
00:08:54,793 --> 00:08:56,068
Yes, it's good.
It's good.
244
00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:57,517
It's got root beer in it.
245
00:08:57,586 --> 00:08:58,689
[man]
The pain!
246
00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:04,620
Oh! But then,
oh, the freedom!
247
00:09:04,689 --> 00:09:07,551
[laughing maniacally][glass shattering]
248
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:08,620
[chuckling]
249
00:09:10,689 --> 00:09:12,758
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
250
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:14,862
I thought this was
gonna be a lot more,
251
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:17,689
you know, funny-scary,
not scary-scary.Yeah.
252
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,310
You're-- you're not
having a good time.
253
00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:22,655
No, I'm having fun.
It's just...
254
00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:24,793
When I was a kid,
I got-- I got--
255
00:09:24,862 --> 00:09:27,620
I got trapped
in this haunted maze...
256
00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:30,103
[gasps]...for like 28 hours.
257
00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:32,448
So it's a little triggering.Oh, no!
258
00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:33,827
But it's okay.Maybe we could--
259
00:09:33,896 --> 00:09:35,689
[phone vibrating]Oh! Sorry.
260
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:38,620
I'm sorry, I...[phone continues vibrating]
261
00:09:38,689 --> 00:09:40,517
Oh, it's my mom.
262
00:09:40,586 --> 00:09:42,758
She's called me
like five times.
263
00:09:42,827 --> 00:09:44,448
I'm sorry, I think
I better take this.
264
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,137
Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
265
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:51,172
[phone continues vibrating]
266
00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:54,448
[creepy music plays]
267
00:09:54,517 --> 00:09:57,068
Hey, Mom, what's up?
Everything okay?
268
00:09:57,137 --> 00:09:59,000
Where are you?
269
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:02,241
I... got a business thing.
270
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,620
Ha![screaming]
271
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,034
What was that?
272
00:10:05,103 --> 00:10:06,344
Just, you know...
[nervous chuckling]
273
00:10:06,413 --> 00:10:08,655
kids playing in the park.
274
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:11,137
Yeah![crowd cheering]
275
00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:13,068
[man laughing menacingly]
276
00:10:13,137 --> 00:10:15,551
Ma, don't worry about it.
I'll be home later. Bye.
277
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,551
Yeah!
278
00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:17,689
Shit.
279
00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:20,206
[phone beeping]
280
00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:34,862
[Grandma's voice]
Winking rabbit giving
a thumbs-up sign.
281
00:10:34,931 --> 00:10:36,137
Yeah!
282
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:39,448
♪♪
283
00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:42,413
Okay, this office
is fully amazing.
284
00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:43,896
There's like
Christmas stuff up.
285
00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:45,379
There's like
sports stuff up.
286
00:10:45,448 --> 00:10:47,000
I love it, I love you.
You're dynamic.
287
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:48,241
[giggling]
288
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:49,793
I'm Justin Schultz Boudreau,
289
00:10:49,862 --> 00:10:51,793
editor-in-chief
of "Ferbes" magazine.
290
00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:53,448
The most famous people
in my phone
291
00:10:53,517 --> 00:10:55,965
is currently a tie
between Billie Eilish
292
00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:57,310
and Hillary Clinton.
[chuckles]
293
00:10:57,379 --> 00:10:58,724
I'm here with Nora Lin.
294
00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:00,310
She's gonna tell me
all about Scrubr.
295
00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:01,655
Here we go.
296
00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:05,551
[mimics Elizabeth Holmes]
Oh, hi, Justin. Um...
297
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:08,310
Let me sell you
a fantasy.
298
00:11:08,379 --> 00:11:12,137
Imagine a world
where literally everyone
299
00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:14,620
can exist free
from memes
300
00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:16,724
and online destruction.
301
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:18,379
Mm, amazing.
302
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:19,827
I love that
and I love your vision.
303
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:20,896
Thank you.
304
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,379
Let's blast it out
right now.
305
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,896
[gasps]
306
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:25,551
♪♪
307
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:26,724
Do you see it?No.
308
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:29,758
♪♪
309
00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:33,000
Whoa!
18,000 likes in an hour?!
310
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,862
Oh, this party's
gonna be awesome!
311
00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:36,758
[bubbles popping sound]
312
00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:38,241
Should be right here.
[gasps]
313
00:11:38,310 --> 00:11:40,655
[ominous music plays]
314
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:43,379
Ohh!
315
00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:44,551
[gasps]
316
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,965
We're fucked.
317
00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:50,137
[Edmund]
I need this curbside
in like 25 minutes.
318
00:11:50,206 --> 00:11:51,689
So, yeah, this is
actually plugs...
319
00:11:51,758 --> 00:11:53,275
Jerry! Jerry!...but this is real hair.
320
00:11:53,344 --> 00:11:54,482
Yeah.This is a disaster.
321
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,068
The stage isn't
even built.
322
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,827
Is Lady Marmalade
even coming?
323
00:11:57,896 --> 00:12:00,517
Trust me!
Yes, Lady Marm...
324
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:02,551
Are you thirsty?
325
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,068
I'm gonna get water.
You want water?
326
00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:05,724
No. Shit, fuck.[phone chiming]
327
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,724
Shit, fuck.
Shit, fuck, shit, fuck.
328
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:09,586
Hi, Tom.[Tom] Is everything okay?
329
00:12:09,655 --> 00:12:11,310
Yes, things are going great.
330
00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:14,000
I cannot wait
to see you... tomorrow!
331
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:18,172
So you want us to like help
you build a gazebo?
332
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:19,517
Yes, that would be great.
333
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:21,068
We need 45 along
this corridor
334
00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:22,793
and then another 65
along this corridor.
335
00:12:22,862 --> 00:12:25,206
Bruh, bruh, I couldn't build
a bear to save my life.
336
00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:26,724
Wow.Yeah, um,
337
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,620
and I just got
a mani, so...
338
00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:30,655
Thank you
and thank you.
339
00:12:30,724 --> 00:12:31,931
You know what?
340
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:34,551
For nothing!
341
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:40,310
Hey, do you wanna
go 69?
342
00:12:40,379 --> 00:12:42,206
Word?
343
00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:45,758
I'd love to.
344
00:12:47,379 --> 00:12:48,931
You didn't even
hold hands right!
345
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,172
You goddamn traitors.
346
00:12:50,241 --> 00:12:51,482
Yo, this is a mess.
347
00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:53,965
Daniel, thank you
so much for coming.
348
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,379
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No problem.
349
00:12:55,448 --> 00:12:57,379
I'm just...
Oh, my God, I'm overheating.
350
00:12:57,448 --> 00:13:00,000
Okay, all right.
Okay, just breathe.
351
00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:03,068
Um, also, by the way,
you look great.
352
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:04,344
You look really good.
353
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:05,551
Last time,
orange hair.
354
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,862
This time, you know,
turtleneck.
355
00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:08,758
Stop!Glasses, you look good.
356
00:13:08,827 --> 00:13:11,413
I look like fucking
human shit right now.
357
00:13:11,482 --> 00:13:13,724
No, you look,
you look beautiful.No.
358
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,379
[both chuckling]
359
00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:16,793
That's--
I need gazebos!
360
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,068
Uh, okay.45 along this corridor
361
00:13:19,137 --> 00:13:20,517
and then another
65 there.
362
00:13:20,586 --> 00:13:22,206
There should be directions.I got you, I got you.
363
00:13:22,275 --> 00:13:23,724
You can take your shirt--
Yeah!
364
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:26,241
What?!
365
00:13:26,310 --> 00:13:28,241
[laughing]
366
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,827
You're--
you're so bad.
367
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,482
Stop!
368
00:13:31,551 --> 00:13:34,068
[laughing]
369
00:13:34,137 --> 00:13:35,344
Ooh, okay.
370
00:13:35,413 --> 00:13:37,241
Are you gonna fuck
my doorman?
371
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,896
Shut up, Edmund!
He's right there!
372
00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:40,275
Yo, Edmund, what's up?
373
00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:41,862
Hi... Daniel.
374
00:13:41,931 --> 00:13:42,965
You got a package.
375
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:47,172
♪♪
376
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:48,862
I don't know
if you've ever
377
00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,413
had a ride
in a convertible.
378
00:13:50,482 --> 00:13:52,655
I bought one
on my 40th birthday.
379
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,275
If you ever...
380
00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:55,862
I'm allergic
to too much air.
381
00:13:55,931 --> 00:13:57,344
Yeah.
382
00:13:57,413 --> 00:13:58,827
Oh. Hi.
383
00:13:58,896 --> 00:14:00,068
Hey.
384
00:14:01,655 --> 00:14:03,620
I'm-- I'm sorry again--[Grandma] Wally!
385
00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:05,724
Ma?
386
00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,068
Is this rehab?
387
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,551
Oh, I knew
you were on drugs.
388
00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:10,793
What is it?
389
00:14:10,862 --> 00:14:13,379
Meth, shrooms...?No. Ma!
390
00:14:13,448 --> 00:14:14,413
Ice horse?Ma.
391
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:15,482
Crack dabs?
392
00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:18,034
If you say opium...What?
393
00:14:18,103 --> 00:14:19,551
...I will slap
the yellow out of you.
394
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:22,344
Ma! What are you
doing here?
395
00:14:22,413 --> 00:14:24,034
I'm glad that
you're getting help
396
00:14:24,103 --> 00:14:25,896
from all these
other losers.
397
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,068
But why didn't you
come to mefirst?
398
00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:31,310
Ma... this isn't rehab.
399
00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:34,827
It's a support group
for single parents!
400
00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:39,896
Oh, but you have
that weird spoon.
401
00:14:39,965 --> 00:14:42,275
And the other night
with all that screaming.
402
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:46,724
I was on a date, okay?
403
00:14:46,793 --> 00:14:48,241
With Brenda!
404
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:50,137
I thought we weren't
allowed to date in the group.
405
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:53,068
Oh, Toby... no.
406
00:14:53,137 --> 00:14:56,172
Ma, Brenda gave me
the spoon.
407
00:14:56,241 --> 00:14:57,655
And it's not
a spoon, all right?
408
00:14:57,724 --> 00:14:59,586
It's a deep and meaningful
art piece
409
00:14:59,655 --> 00:15:02,482
about self-expression
and quiet chaos!
410
00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:04,379
Yes, thank you.
411
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:05,551
You're welcome.
412
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,275
So you're not
on drugs?
413
00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:08,862
No.
414
00:15:08,931 --> 00:15:11,137
And I didn't tell you
about the date
415
00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:12,551
because I knew
you would go crazy.
416
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,068
I'm not
going crazy!
417
00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:15,172
Hello.
418
00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:16,689
Hi.
419
00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:18,655
Are you divorced
or is your husband dead?
420
00:15:18,724 --> 00:15:21,172
Uh...Oh, my God!
421
00:15:21,241 --> 00:15:24,310
Feel free to talk
amongst yourselves.
422
00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,413
I'm really sorry
about everything.
423
00:15:26,482 --> 00:15:28,034
No.I--
424
00:15:28,103 --> 00:15:30,724
I like you.
425
00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:32,206
I like you.
426
00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:33,862
Yeah?
427
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:37,000
I-I just want
a do-over, you know?
428
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:39,931
Let's do it, yeah.Okay.
429
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,310
The last few days
have been really hard
430
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:47,620
because my son
is on drugs!
431
00:15:47,689 --> 00:15:49,793
[sobbing hysterically]
432
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:53,206
♪♪
433
00:15:53,275 --> 00:15:54,551
What's up, fam?
434
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,931
This is absolutely
Justin S.B. from "Ferbes."
435
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,689
And we're 'bout to hit up
the Scrubr launch party.
436
00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:01,344
Okay, if you saw
this viral video,
437
00:16:01,413 --> 00:16:04,068
then you know it's gonna be
absolutely spectacular.
438
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,482
And what is this?
439
00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:09,517
[ominous music plays]
440
00:16:17,034 --> 00:16:19,241
Okay, absolutely not.
Let's go.
441
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:20,482
Torch it.
442
00:16:20,551 --> 00:16:22,448
[camera shutters clicking]
443
00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:23,931
♪♪
444
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,724
Get a photo
of that sick girl.
445
00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:28,241
Ha-ha-ha, welcome
to Scrubr!
446
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:29,758
Um, where's
the VIP tent?
447
00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:30,931
Where's the bar?
448
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,206
When do the Ladies Marmalade
go on?
449
00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:34,689
Uh-huh.
450
00:16:34,758 --> 00:16:35,862
Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry!
451
00:16:35,931 --> 00:16:37,620
Jerry! Jerry!
452
00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:40,068
Okay, so, um,
we're leaving.
453
00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:41,620
No. No-no-no.No, we're gonna turn
this around.
454
00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:43,482
We can turn this around.
Stop! We can change it.
455
00:16:43,551 --> 00:16:45,275
We can make it better.
We can make it good.
456
00:16:45,344 --> 00:16:46,827
Justin?! Please?No, no. No!
457
00:16:48,862 --> 00:16:50,413
There are no refunds!
458
00:16:50,482 --> 00:16:52,103
Burn it down!
459
00:16:52,172 --> 00:16:53,793
♪♪
460
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:56,551
[crowd screaming]
461
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,310
Edmund,
I can't do this.
462
00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,103
This isn't me.
I have to go.
463
00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:02,172
Nora, come on, we're a team.
We have to stay.
464
00:17:02,241 --> 00:17:04,689
[sobbing]
Oh, God.
465
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:06,344
Oh, God...
466
00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:09,034
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God...
467
00:17:09,103 --> 00:17:11,241
Tom!Edmund!
468
00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:13,206
What the hell
is going on?
469
00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:14,827
All right, Tom,
I'm gonna get real with you.
470
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:17,896
I never should have hired
that marketing idiot
471
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:20,931
to throw me this
bullshit launch party.
472
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,655
And I never should have
lied to you about
473
00:17:22,724 --> 00:17:26,827
the money or the subscribers
or how successful I was...
474
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:28,689
or wasn't.Don't worry.
475
00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:30,517
I still believe in you.
476
00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:31,793
Everything's gonna
be all right.
477
00:17:31,862 --> 00:17:32,827
Oh!
478
00:17:32,896 --> 00:17:34,172
[banging][Tom groaning]
479
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:36,620
♪♪
480
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:40,482
[Edmund sobbing][siren wailing]
481
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:43,103
[sobbing continues]
482
00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:47,586
♪♪
483
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,896
[Edmund sobbing]
484
00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:57,206
Oh, it's over.
485
00:17:57,275 --> 00:18:00,862
I'm done
in Silicon Valley.
486
00:18:00,931 --> 00:18:02,689
[monotone voice]
Don't say that, Edmund.
487
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:06,379
We promised
a million users.
488
00:18:06,448 --> 00:18:08,206
You know how many we got?
489
00:18:08,275 --> 00:18:09,655
Eight!
490
00:18:09,724 --> 00:18:12,620
I coded a genius app,
491
00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:15,413
and only eight people
downloaded it!
492
00:18:15,482 --> 00:18:18,413
You know, number eight
is a lucky number
493
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:19,896
for the Chinese.
494
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:22,862
Grandma,
read the room!
495
00:18:22,931 --> 00:18:25,172
We didn't make
any money.
496
00:18:25,241 --> 00:18:28,034
We're the laughing stock
of the Internet.
497
00:18:28,103 --> 00:18:30,034
My pits stink!
498
00:18:30,103 --> 00:18:34,344
And now no investor
will ever trust me ever again.
499
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,310
[theme music plays on TV]
500
00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:38,551
I'm here reporting live
from Flushing Meadows Park
501
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:41,241
from today's disastrous
launch party
502
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,931
for the new app Scrubr--[changes channel]
503
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,241
The hashtags PrayForFlushing,
FlushingStrong,
504
00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:49,586
and ScrubrDisaster began
trending almost immediately--
505
00:18:49,655 --> 00:18:52,344
[changes channel] Marketing guru Jerry Harrison
506
00:18:52,413 --> 00:18:55,172
put the blame on Scrubr
cofounders Nora Lin
507
00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:58,724
and Edmund Lin, who could not
be reached for comment.
508
00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:00,310
Of course we can't
be reached.
509
00:19:00,379 --> 00:19:01,655
We've gone into hiding
510
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,586
[muffled]
forever!
511
00:19:03,655 --> 00:19:05,413
[sobbing]Edmund?
512
00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:06,586
You're gonna have
a stroke.
513
00:19:06,655 --> 00:19:08,103
Just chill out.[groaning]
514
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:10,931
They apparently never even
secured a proper permit
515
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,137
for the event,
516
00:19:12,206 --> 00:19:14,344
leading to what
we've been told
517
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:17,931
will be thousands of dollars
in fines.
518
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,586
For New York News,
I'm Rosie Noesi.
519
00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:23,827
[dramatic music plays]
520
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,896
[speaking Chinese]
521
00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:46,793
It's happening.
522
00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:48,000
What's happening?
523
00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:50,413
Chinsent called.
They want to buy out Scrubr!
524
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,517
Dude, congrats.
Have a Kinder egg
to celebrate.
525
00:19:52,586 --> 00:19:54,827
No, listen, ya dumb.
It's not just me.
526
00:19:54,896 --> 00:19:57,034
The wanna hire us.Why?
527
00:19:57,103 --> 00:19:58,137
They saw Scrubr
on the news,
528
00:19:58,206 --> 00:19:59,827
and now they wanna
acqui-hire us--
529
00:19:59,896 --> 00:20:01,931
acquire the tech and hire us.
530
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,034
Hey, what's going on?
531
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,551
Grandma, this huge
Chinese tech company
532
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,758
wants to buy out
all our investors,
533
00:20:08,827 --> 00:20:11,827
pay all our fines,
and fly us to China,
534
00:20:11,896 --> 00:20:14,413
put us up in capital "A"
apartments,
535
00:20:14,482 --> 00:20:15,689
and then pay us more money
536
00:20:15,758 --> 00:20:17,137
than we've ever made
in our entire lives!
537
00:20:17,206 --> 00:20:18,344
Oh!
538
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:22,172
Scrubr is back,
honey! Gag!
539
00:20:22,241 --> 00:20:24,586
Ah, China!
So exciting.
540
00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:26,586
I've never even been
on a plane before.
541
00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:28,000
Yeah, well, popping
your plane hymen
542
00:20:28,068 --> 00:20:29,827
in first class
sounds pretty good, right?
543
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,448
No, that sounds
disgusting.
544
00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:32,965
But yes, yes!
545
00:20:33,034 --> 00:20:34,655
So we're gonna live there?
546
00:20:34,724 --> 00:20:36,862
Yeah, I literally
just explained it
547
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,827
to both of you.
I...
548
00:20:38,896 --> 00:20:43,448
I left my country to go
to a land of opportunity.
549
00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:45,034
Sounds like it's your turn.
550
00:20:46,137 --> 00:20:47,344
We're going to China!
551
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:52,379
[excited screaming]
552
00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:58,275
Curtain, end of act one
of "Wicked."
553
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:01,517
[inhales, then exhales]
554
00:21:01,517 --> 00:21:04,517
♪♪
555
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,482
[man]
Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina?
37380
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