All language subtitles for 05English

[¶¶¶]

[KIDS LAUGH]

[SIZZLING]

I did something really bad.

Are you gonna tell me
or do you want me to guess?

Did I ever mention
Marnie sleeps in the nude?

Not to me.
Every night

she climbs into bed naked,
just to go to sleep.

Audra never sleeps naked.

No. Audra's only naked
when she absolutely has to be.

In the shower. Or if I take
her clothes off during sex.

You wanna talk about that
or hear the bad thing I did?

I wanna hear the bad thing.

You went off on a tangent
about your wife.

I piggybacked it.
Not a tangent.

It's related.
All right.

It shouldn't come
as any surprise

that your sex life takes a major
hit once you start your family.

Since my kids were born,

we've had sex
maybe a dozen times.

Your oldest is 11.

I know how old
my fucking kids are.

Maybe it's two dozen,
maybe three dozen.

Even so, three dozen times
in 11 years.

Roughly 3.3 times a year?
Stop doing the math.

What's important is that Marnie
has zero interest in fucking me.

Do you try to get her
in the mood?

Dude, I'm so fed up
at this point.

It'd be one thing
if she got fat after the kids.

Maybe I wouldn't wanna bang her
so much, but she looks great.

Finds the time to ride
the elliptical machine.

Doesn't have time
to ride my dick.

Or the desire.
Yeah.

That's why I'm trying
to enjoy the sex with Audra now

while we're trying
to get pregnant.

Yeah. Well, enjoy it

because we used to have sex
seven nights a week.

You guys strike me
as a once-a-week couple,

so when Audra gets pregnant,

next time you're getting laid
is when the kids go to college.

I got pregnant
with my first boyfriend,

junior year of high school.
So you know it's not you.

Noel has shitty sperm.

Not necessarily. Maybe Greg
had super-sperm. I don't know.

You got pregnant
and you had an abortion.

No, I didn't get an abortion.

Before I got the nerve to
tell my parents, I miscarried.

Okay, well, that's lucky.

You didn't have a baby
junior year in high school?

Dude, you dodged a bullet.

Greg offered to marry me at 17.
My life would have been over.

Oh, he would've been
a terrible husband, father.

Noel, on the other hand,
is a wonderful husband

who'd be an amazing dad.

If he didn't have shitty sperm.
We don't know that.

How would he feel if he knew
you'd been pregnant?

Not great. That was information

that was supposed to stay
locked in the vault.

Couples need secrets.

Tell me the bad thing
you did, huh?

Last night, I make a move,
she shuts me down, per usual.

Rolls over, goes to sleep.

Now, I'm laying there
with an angry, purple hard-on,

and I just start jerking,

right there in the bed,
right next to her.

Wow.
I'm frustrated.

I'm resentful.

I'm muttering nasty shit
about her under my breath.

She doesn't wake up?
No, very heavy sleeper.

So around when
I'm about to blow,

I get up on my knees
and I unload all over her tits.

Oh, God.
I just hovered there, right?

Just looking at her.

With a big smile on my face.

Then I got up,
went to the bathroom,

I got a damp washcloth,

gave her a little kiss on
the forehead, cleaned her up.

And she has no idea it happened.

Pete, that's bad.
That's really bad.

But I enjoyed it.

I was fucking euphoric
afterwards.

My marriage today
is 100 times better

than my marriage was yesterday.

Maybe I'm a monster.
I don't know.

I defiled my wife.

Best feeling I've had in months.

[SIGHS]

Want another beer?
Yeah, at least one more.

[¶¶¶]

[BOTH GASPING]

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

Okay. Get the pillow.
Lift up.

Okay.

[BOTH BREATHING DEEPLY]

You know, I was thinking
maybe we should offer to watch

Pete and Marnie's kids sometime.

Why?

I think Marnie's happy
with their babysitter.

No, I more meant
for the weekend or something.

So they can go away
together, alone.

Did Pete say something to you?
About what?

About how much sex
they're having?

You mean, about
how little sex they're having?

About how they're
not having sex at all?

What did Marnie say?
What did Pete say?

Mm, ah, we should probably
not be discussing this.

Okay, all right.
Yeah? Okay. Well...

I think they had a lot
of sex before they had kids,

and it's probably been
a big adjustment for them.

So you're saying
that because we didn't have

that much sex to begin with,

it'll be less noticeable
when we stop having it at all?

Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly
what I'm saying.

Alrighty.

[LAUGHS]

I love you.
I love you too.

Harriet, what the heck
is going on around here?

Well, nothing's going on.

OZZIE:
Gee whiz! What's happened
to our happy home?

HARRIET:
Aren't you happy now?

Hey, Marnie, are you awake?

OZZIE:
Do you want me
to help you set the table?

Marnie?
HARRIET: I can set it.

OZZIE: Oh, what? Okay.
Marns.

I don't wanna argue about it.

HARRIET:
Oh, I'm not arguing.

OZZIE:
Neither am I. I'm just trying

to start
a normal conversation.

HARRIET:
Well, have it your way.

OZZIE:
Well, of course,
I'll have it my way.

That's the way
it's supposed to be.

The husband and father

is the head
of the household.

HARRIET:
It's been that way
since time began.

[¶¶¶]

Oh, shit.

You okay?

Yeah.

You don't look okay.

I've mentioned Holly
to you before, right?

Holly.
My college roommate.

Oh, right. Yeah, Holly.

The one you had
the falling out with,

over something stupid, right?
Over something stupid.

Is that what I said?
I think those were your words.

Is she dead?
No. Why would you say that?

I'm sorry. You have
a look on your face

like you found out
someone you were close with

but haven't spoken to in years
is, you know, dead.

There's a look for that?
You're making the look.

Or a look very similar.
That's the look.

She's alive. She just sent me
a message on Facebook.

Oh. What did she write?

"Found you a while ago.
Thought about friending you.

Decided to quietly
stalk you instead. Ha, ha.

Hope you're well.
Hope you still don't hate me.

Going to be in your neck
of the woods on business

and would love to see you.
XO, Holly."

"XO"? I mean,
doesn't sound like

there's any animosity
on her part.

We haven't spoken
in 12 years.

What was the fight about?

What, was it over a guy?
No.

She was just a little too wild
and free-spirited for me.

Are you gonna invite her over?

No. Mm-mm.

You're not curious
what became of her?

No.

I did it again.

What the fuck is wrong with you?
I don't know.

Maybe I should cheat on her
like a normal neglected husband.

Don't cheat on her
and don't jerk off on her.

That's easy for you to say.
It is easy for me to say.

It's easy for me to tell you
that there is no scenario

where it's okay to masturbate
onto your sleeping wife.

Now, most married,
if not all married men,

experience some level
of sexual frustration.

It's normal.
Yeah.

And jerking off relieves

a tiny bit of that frustration.

For some fucking reason,

jerking off onto my sleeping
wife relieves almost all of it.

Anything a married person can do
to improve the marriage...

without hurting the spouse, I
think it should be on the table.

There are some people
who'd define what you're doing

as sexual assault.
Fuck those people.

Those people don't know
what they're talking about.

She made a vow
to take, to have and to hold.

You're telling me this is
not covered by one of those?

Yeah, I'm telling you that.

[SIGHS]

Okay.

Yeah, all right, look. I know
what I'm doing is sketchy.

But those people,
they don't get to decide

what's acceptable
in my marriage.

That's for Marnie and me to say.

But Marnie doesn't know
you're cumming on her.

Exactly, and if she did,
she might be fine with it.

She might decide she prefers
that to having sex with me,

or to get a divorce
or have me cheat on her.

Yeah?
Yeah.

You ever thought
about cheating on Audra?

Thought about it like
imagined fucking another woman,

or like actually
thought about it?

I mean, thought about it.
No, never.

Maybe Marnie's cheating on me.

Maybe that's why
she's not putting out.

Might be getting all the dick
she needs. It's just not mine.

You know that's not true.
I don't know anything, man.

Seriously.

You think you know
what someone is thinking

or what they're doing
when you're not looking?

You really think that?

You don't know anything.

[¶¶¶]

Let's take a trip this weekend.

Let's drive somewhere,
or, uh, fly to Vegas.

We're gonna get pregnant,
and it's gonna make that stuff

so much harder, right?

It's a lovely idea.

I think I changed my mind.

What, about getting pregnant?

No. No. No, no, no, no, no.
Of course not.

Sorry. About seeing Holly.

Oh.
This is the weekend

that she's in town,
and I thought I would

invite her over for
a couple of hours on Saturday.

Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's great.

All right.
I'm just gonna message her.

I think you should.

"See you Saturday."

Okay. That's it.

[¶¶¶]

[WHISPERS]
Hey.

Noel, I need to talk to you.

Hey.
What?

There's something
you need to know about Holly.

What, now?
Yeah, please.

[GROANS]

All right. You want me
to turn the light on?

No, no, no. It's okay.

Okay, whew. Okay.
How do I say this?

Oh, okay.
You know how in college

people do things
that they normally wouldn't?

For the first time
you're charting your own course.

You're free to go a little...

Holly and I experimented with...

We fooled around.

Sexually. We did stuff.

Are you okay?

You had sex
with your college roommate?

It was a onetime thing.

A onetime thing.

That happened five or six times.

Wow. Really?

Wow.

So not like me.
Wow.

I don't know
who that person was.

College.

My wife had a lesbian fling.
Yeah.

Audra.
I know.

Audra had a lesbian fling.

Why are you saying it like that?

I'm just surprised, that's all.
I'm just very, very surprised.

Is she a lesbian?

Not a lesbian.
We were just two...friends.

Audra Dinwiddie.

I didn't think you had it
in you. I honestly didn't.

I kind of feel like
now I need to tell you

about the time I sucked a dick.

Except that never happened.

Undergraduate. Law school.

Seven years of college.
No dicks.

Should I tell her not to come?
Not for my sake.

Why would I not want you to see
your old friend who you...

kissed, licked, fondled,

sucked
each other's nipples, maybe?

Finger-banged,
went down on each other?

You're not expecting me
to acknowledge

the list of things we did,
are you?

I'm comfortable with as little
or as much as you wanna share.

Yeah. Let's leave it
where it is. It's in the past.

I'm sure she doesn't
even remember.

Why wouldn't she remember?

It wasn't as out of character
for her.

I'm sure there were
a lot of women after me.

She drank a lot
and took drugs.

I'm sure her memory of college
was a blur of debauchery.

Did your friendship end

because you two
kissed, licked, fondled...?

I don't--
I don't wanna dwell on it.

I just needed to tell you.

Okay?

Yeah.
Okay.

Let's just get some sleep.

Thank you.

[SIGHS]

[¶¶¶]

[SIGHS]

I just don't get it.

You know, I just can't
get my head around it.

Your problem is, is that
you're looking at it all wrong.

Hey, is he okay?
PETE: Yeah, he's fine.

He just found out his wife did
some lesbian shit in college.

Nice.

That's what I'm trying
to tell him. See?

Thank you. Appreciate it.

I don't mind that she did it.
That's not the vibe I'm getting.

It just doesn't
make sense at all,

given what I thought
I knew about her.

Audra is a very
sexually conservative woman.

Know how many times
we've had sex

in a position other
than missionary? Maybe 10 tops.

Wanna know how many times we
fucked someplace other than bed?

Uh, once in the shower,
once in my car and that's it.

That's my sex life.

I mean, how does that
unadventurous bedroom behavior

translate to girl-on-girl
college action?

Now is the time to push her
out of her comfort zone.

You just learned
her comfort zone

is bigger than
she previously let on.

What am I supposed to say?
You don't have to talk about it.

If you wanna fuck her
in the ass, you don't tell her.

Who said I wanna fuck her ass?
I didn't.

Here's what you do, right?

You get a big thing of lube,

you put it next to the bed,
arm's reach.

So you're fucking her, right?

You gotta get her humming.
She's gotta be digging it.

Now, right when she's about to
cum, you pull out. Cut her off.

You make a big show
of lubing up your dick, right?

You're not trying to hide it.
You're not being sneaky.

You're communicating
without speaking.

Your actions are saying,
"I'm getting ready

to do something different here.

Something that my dick needs
to be very slippery for."

She's gonna put
two and two together.

If she doesn't put it
together then,

she's gonna put it together

when you brush up
against her balloon knot.

Now, if she
doesn't say anything,

she doesn't stop you,
she doesn't punch you...

that's tacit consent.

That's the worst thing
I've ever heard

and there's no earthly way
I will ever do that.

Then you're never
gonna get any ass play.

I never said I wanted
any fucking ass play!

Why do you keep talking
about ass play?!

Because you would love it, okay?

Marnie used to love it.
Audra would love it.

Audra might've been doing it
before she met you.

You don't know.
Don't say that.

I don't wanna think about--
Let's talk about--

I shouldn't have even
brought it up. Fuck. Forget it.

Could we just run, please?

And don't say a fucking thing
to Marnie!

You used to eat pussy?

Oh, my God-- I told him
last night at 3 a.m.

How long do you think it's gonna
take a guy to tell his friends

that his wife used to dig clam?

I don't dig clam.
You can have an experience

with a member of the same sex
and not necessarily "dig clam."

You need to be proud of this.
You fucked a girl. Heh, heh!

I didn't give details. Anything
you heard is conjecture.

I shouldn't have told him.
Don't be mad at Noel.

I'm not mad at him.
I'm nervous about seeing Holly.

Our friendship ended badly.
I stupidly thought telling Noel

would make it
less of a big deal.

I should've known it
would make things worse.

I'm just excited you're not as
uptight as I thought you were.

Are we still coming
over for dinner?

You think Pete's gonna be
looking at me funny?

Absolutely.

He's probably spanking it

to the thought
of you and this woman.

[¶¶¶]

Wow.

What?
See Holly's Instagram?

What are you looking
at that for?

Wanted to put
a face to the story.

For chrissake.
I got to tell you,

your wife has
excellent taste in lovers.

Look at that.
Shh, shh.

I know. She's pretty hot, huh?
Yeah.

That's not a girl
that looks like a dude.

That's lipstick lesbian action.

How we looking?
Yeah! Let's eat.

Let's eat pussy.
Come on.

Fuck.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

I know that everyone knows.

I know you told Pete,
and Pete told Marnie.

I'm sorry,
what are we talking about?

It's out in the open.
You don't have to play dumb.

What the fuck, Marnie?

You were trusted
to keep the secret, not me.

I keep secrets
I was trusted with.

Common sense says
you don't tell the secret

to the person who told
the secret in the first place.

Sorry, Noel. I didn't know
my 40-something-year-old wife

doesn't know how secrets work.

Forty-something?

Oh, that's a secret?

They know you're old.

I look good, and not
just good for my age.

I just look good.
Baby, you look amazing.

Look, I didn't say you look old.
I said that you are old.

I couldn't keep it to myself.
I tried.

I swear to God, I couldn't.
I'm sorry.

So, what exactly did happen?

Because it doesn't seem
like Noel has specifics.

They're gonna deny it,
but I think I speak

for the three of us
when I say we're dying to know.

You don't wanna talk about it?
Okay.

Would you be comfortable
reenacting it

with Marnie maybe?

Sorry to disappoint.
But I've never been into women

and Audra's
not in college anymore.

Look, I wasn't into women
in college.

It was one woman.
It was an isolated incident.

One woman, yeah, but you and
Holly did do it more than once.

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh ¶

NOEL:
There's nothing you could
say that would make me hug you.

Well, women are a little more
comfortable with that stuff.

The touching and the hugs
and the kisses

and taking showers together

that aren't preceded
by athletic activity.

Which is why
it's less surprising

when they do full-on gay stuff.

You know, it's still pretty
surprising when it's your wife.

I wish Marnie was into girls.

When Holly gets here,
it's gonna be hard

for me
not to imagine them together.

Well, duh, it's gonna
be hard for me.

It's childish,
but I can't help it.

No, no, no, that's not childish.

That's just you
being a dude, okay?

Society's poisoned us to think

that dude thoughts
are childish thoughts.

But they're not.
They're dude thoughts.

Hm.

Noel.
Mm-hm?

Noel, Noel, Noel.
What?

You gonna make this happen?

Make what happen?

Audra, Holly...

you.

Shut up.
No, listen to me. Listen to me.

You have a viable
threesome opportunity

in your very near future.
You have one.

That's--

[SCOFFS]

No, I don't.

Noel!

You're
a straight-laced guy, Noel.

And I don't mean that
in a bad way.

But I think you look at people

and you think
they think like you think.

If you got under the hood,
you might be surprised

to find they're not quite
as wholesome as you are.

I'm not that wholesome.
Or straight-laced.

I'm not saying it's negative.

But I think you underestimate

how much of the population
likes to get freaky.

Just because Audra
fooled around with a girl

when she was 19 doesn't mean

she secretly wants
to get freaky.

God, you're like one of
these people who watch porn

and you think that only in porn
do people behave like that.

I'm here to tell you,
50 percent of the population

is doing things
you think happen only in porn.

Really? Fifty percent of the
population going ass-to-mouth?

Maybe not ass-to-mouth.
Maybe not 50 percent.

But I guarantee you that in our
sleepy little suburb right now,

there's somebody getting fisted,

there's someone
getting pissed on,

there's someone letting a dog
lick peanut butter

off their genitals.

Good Lord, what kind
of porn do you watch?

That is not the world
that Audra and I live in.

It is the world you live in.
You're not contributing to it.

Doesn't mean it's not
happening all around you.

What exactly is your point?

That threesomes are not a thing

that happen
only to other people.

Threesomes are
a thing that happen

to people
who try to make them happen

when they see
a viable threesome opportunity.

Threesomes are an excellent way
to ruin a marriage.

Kids are an excellent way
to ruin a marriage.

Doesn't stop us
from having them.

Listen, there is no chance

that Audra will be willing
to have a threesome.

Believe me. Even if
there is, which there isn't,

there's no reason
her college roommate

will wanna have sex with me.
So self-defeating.

You would love to have
a threesome, wouldn't you? Yeah?

Last thing I'm gonna say.

When you move in with a girl,
doesn't change anything.

Get married,
doesn't change anything.

Make money,
that doesn't change anything.

When you have kids,
that changes everything.

You're gonna get Audra pregnant,
you're gonna be a good dad.

Which means it is never gonna be
about you ever, ever again.

It's gonna be about
your wife and your kids

and your kids and your wife.

Yeah, I know that.
And it's okay.

Most of our lives are pointless
and empty. That's fine.

Because all we need are two
or three extraordinary moments

to look back on
and say, "That...

That made
all the bullshit worth it."

And if you don't make
this threesome happen,

you are letting an extraordinary
moment pass you by.

That's it. I'm done.

[BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO. 9"
PLAYING ON STEREO]

[AUDRA INHALING
AND EXHALING DEEPLY]

Morning.

Morning.

What's wrong?

Does it look like
something's wrong?

You're taking a stress bath.
You got the lavender salts.

You're doing
the breathing thing.

Uh, I'm okay.

If you're so unnerved
by Holly coming

that you have to take
a stress bath,

why don't you just text her
and cancel?

Tell her something came up.
I'm being silly.

I went on her Facebook page.

And?

She said she's in
a polyamorous relationship

with Barack and Michelle.
Ha.

She says she's now working
for the KGB.

She said that she just gave
birth to Siamese septuplets.

There's a Photoshopped photo
of her with a seven-headed baby.

Maybe she's just mocking
the social media culture.

Okay, maybe,
but normal people use Facebook

to make their life
sound better than they are.

Not to invent a fantasy life.
It's the principle.

She always just did
whatever she wanted.

Never thought rules
applied to her.

Maybe she's changed.
A lot of time has--

[DOORBELL RINGS]

She's here.

She's here.
What?

You said she was coming
in the afternoon.

Yeah, well, afternoon, 8 a.m.,

it's all the same to her.

It's probably
Pete or Marnie.

I wanted to spend
the morning cleaning.

I wanted to make
a cheese plate and a crudité.

Hey.

I'm not ready
to get out of the bath.

I'm sure it's not her.

Hi. I'm so early.

Sorry. You must be Noel.

I am, yeah. Hello, Holly.

I was so excited that I drove
straight through the night

and here I am, heh.
Hi.

I can come back later
if that's better for you.

No. Don't be silly. Come on in.
It's so nice to meet you.

Uh, Audra is, uh,
not quite ready yet.

Oh, that would be weird,

considering
how fucking early I am.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Hey, thank you
for the gift basket.

My pleasure. Noel.

Can I ask you a huge favor?

I've been driving for 30 hours

and this is not how I wanted
to look when I met you.

So would it be okay
if I took a super-fast shower

and maybe got a 20-minute nap?

[¶¶¶]

Mm-hm.

[CLATTERING]

HOLLY:
Sorry the bag's so heavy.

NOEL:
It's fine, actually. Easy.

This is a beautiful house
you have, Noel.

Oh, thank you.

Oh. It's okay.

HOLLY:
Is Audra sleeping?

Um, just making herself
presentable, I think.

Um, shower in there.

And this is the guest room.

You can lie down in here.

Oh, wow.

This is exactly how I imagined
Audra to be living.

In the suburbs.

A guest room with a daybed,

a handsome husband.

It smells amazing in here.

What is that smell?
Really?

Yeah.
Didn't realize there's a smell.

You're probably used to it.

It's the saddest thing
about human nature.

We're lucky enough
to have everything we want

and then eventually
we become immune to it.

It could be that,
or I could just have

weak olfactory receptors,
heh, heh.

That'd be the less profound,
more medical explanation.

I knew Audra would marry a guy
with a sense of humor.

[SIGHS]

[BAG UNZIPS]

So I'm quite nervous about
seeing her.

I don't wanna speak out of turn,

but I think
she's kind of nervous too.

Yeah?
She is.

Well, we were very close and...

then not very close.

So, what brings you to town?

Noel, we have
so much to catch up on,

and I cannot wait
to tell you guys everything

that's been going on
and hear all about you.

But right now
I really need to pee, okay?

Okay.

[WERNER TAUTZ'S "MANGO TANGO"
PLAYING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

She could be dead
of a heroin overdose,

in our guest room.

Do you know her to be
an intravenous drug user?

She smoked a lot of pot.
Pot.

I smoked a lot pot in college,

and I hardly ever
overdose on heroin.

Good point.

I'm gonna go check on her.

Okay.
Okay.

[¶¶¶]

Yeah, she seemed pretty tired,

so I was just gonna
let her sleep...

longer.

Okay.

Let's have sex.
[CHUCKLES] What?

Let's have sex.

Um, what are you doing?

Yeah. I think we should fuck.
Hey, hey, hey.

Can we fuck?
Where is this coming from?

It's just coming from this
strong attraction to my husband

with whom I decided
to have a baby--

Hey, hey, hey.
Holly could wake up.

Okay.

So you don't wanna--?

You don't wanna
have sex with me?

Hey. Yes, of course
I want to, but--

She could walk down
those stairs any second.

[CLEARS THROAT]

That was forced.

Okay, then we'll just sit here.
Yeah.

[PEELER SLICING]

You know
what wouldn't surprise me?

I wouldn't be surprised if
she didn't come here to see me.

If she's just stopping by
to take a shower and a nap

on her way someplace else.

Heh.
Now, it sounds like I'm joking,

but she's the kind of person
who'd eat and leave.

How were you friends with her
when you have so much hostility?

It's not hostility,
it's just jealousy.

She's been sleeping
for 11 hours.

Last time I slept for 11 fucking
hours straight, I was a toddler.

Audra, I fully support you
anytime you wanna take a nap.

Would you support me
if I wanted to be

a self-centered, manipulative,
thoughtless, careless tramp?

[CHUCKLES]
Tramp?

Like Charlie Chaplin Tramp,
like a vagabond?

Or do you mean
like Mae West tramp,

like a sexually
promiscuous woman?

I think it's both.

She's a sexually
promiscuous vagabond.

Huh.

I should just wake her up.

Okay.

[¶¶¶]

PETE:
Come on.

Ooh, yeah.

RINGTONE:
Daddy, your phone is ringing.

Daddy, your phone is ringing.

Daddy, your phone is ringing.

Daddy, your--

Hey. What's up, brother?

From the minute I saw Holly,

I can't stop thinking
about a threesome.

Well, make it happen.

How?
I don't know.

Any suggestions?

I had one threesome in
my early 20s

with a waitress
and another dude.

She initiated the whole thing.

So, no.
You know this is your fault.

Yeah, you put this idea
in my head.

Oh, I have this feeling
I haven't had since I was 15

and Renee Lovaglio
showed me her breasts.

Have either of them shown
any sign they're into it?

None whatsoever.

You need to do something.
Gotta test the waters.

Flirt with Holly.

Or just whip your dick out,

see what happens.

[SARCASTIC]
Ha, ha.

Oh, I feel like a bad husband.

Don't feel bad now. You haven't
done anything. Feel bad later.

Okay. Well, thank you
for not helping me in any way.

[SIGHS]

Holly.

Are you alive?

Uh...

I didn't mean to sleep so long.

[GROANS]

Is it still Saturday?
Barely.

It's quarter to 7.

Oh, shit.

[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

How much do you hate me?

Do you mean
for wasting my entire day

or for all the things
you did in the past?

I really wanted this visit
to go well. I'm sorry.

I am. I'm sorry for everything
that I've ever done wrong.

Hm. Apology accepted.

Huh. I didn't think
you'd let me off that easily.

It's fine.

Long time ago.
Water under the bridge.

Come closer.

[¶¶¶]

I wanna look at you.

Hi.

[CHUCKLES]

It's good to see you.

Wanna hear something sad?

You're still the best friend
I ever had.

Dinner will be ready soon.

You look beautiful.

So do you, Holly.

Can I get a hug?

[MOUTHS]
A little one.

[LAUGHS]

Dinner's great.
Thank you.

This house, Audra, it's--

It's really great.
Thank you.

Yeah, we really
love it here.

You're doing very well
for yourselves.

I always knew you would.

So you guys work together? Or--

Oh, no, no, no.

No. Um, Noel does tax law,

and I'm a trial lawyer,
criminal defense.

But I see
you're still painting, right?

Well, not as much
as I'd like to.

I always thought
she was so talented

and could've been
a professional.

I know you two fooled around.

What are you doing, Noel?

I just felt like
she should know that I knew.

Oh.
You know, to put it out there.

Oh. Oh, well, you did that.
She didn't give me details.

I just know you had
sexual contact...

You're still talking.

...on more than one occasion.

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

I won't mention it again.

I, uh...

I think I've managed to find
a career that I am suited for.

I started an edibles company.

Edibles? As in confections
made with marijuana?

That's the one.
I've always really loved baking,

and I always really enjoyed
getting stoned.

So I found a way to bring
my two passions together.

So that basket you brought,

the brownies and cookies,
that's, uh, your--

Yes, that's-- That's my company,
Holly's Good 'N Baked.

NOEL: Whoa.
Wow.

So you baked all those yourself?
Yeah.

They look delicious.
Well, thank you.

You should try one.

We don't do that.

I could never get her high.
Did you ever manage?

I don't like smoke in my lungs.
She hates smoke.

I've tried it a number of times.
Sure.

A number of times.
It is not my thing.

But that's the joy of edibles.

You don't have
to smoke anything.

But if you ate a whole cookie,
you'd be really fucked up.

We don't wanna try
any right now, thank you.

No. Yeah. Ahem. Maybe later.

Have you had any success
with this...particular venture?

No, not yet. I'm--

I'm mostly driving
to dispensaries,

trying to get them
to hold my products.

The response has been
pretty great.

Word of mouth is building,
so that's something.

It's very ambitious.
I was born on March 4th.

The perfect day
to be born, right?

It's literally
the universe telling you

to march forth
and achieve something, so...

I like that.
Yeah.

And how's your personal life,
if you don't mind my asking?

I am maybe slightly
better at relationships

since you last saw me
but not much.

Never got married?
No, uh...

Although I've been
proposed to five times.

Oh, wait, no, it's been six.
Six times.

Six now?
Oh, God.

Yeah.
There were guys lining up

to marry her in college. Mm-hm.
I believe it.

I guess I inspire that in men.
And some women.

Well, you are very approachable.

I will say that, if you don't
mind me making that observation.

Well, thank you, Noel.

What does that mean?

Approachable?
Well, you know,

some people make you immediately
feel comfortable, that's all.

And it also means
men misread your signals.

Ugh.
I had idiots hitting on me,

just because I was friendly.

Oh, I hate that.

I wanted to make
T-shirts that said:

"Just because I'm being nice
doesn't mean I wanna fuck you."

[LAUGHS]

HOLLY: Right?
Of course.

But then I often ended up

fucking quite a few of them.

So I guess that makes me
the idiot.

You never did believe in love.

I'm not the same person I was.

Okay. Sorry. I didn't mean
to imply you were.

My bad.
No, it's totally fine.

But I've actually sworn off
casual sex. Again.

You did?
You're celibate?

I wouldn't say that. I'd say
I decided to take a break.

I took a year off,
dick-free year.

And that ended a couple of weeks
ago, and since then, I've just--

Been trying to not jump
into bed with anyone,

just because
I'm like horny or whatever.

But I think I want it
to be meaningful.

Yeah, meaningful cock. Yeah.

Wow. Meaningful cock.
Yeah, I know.

Yeah, a revelation.
That's great.

I hope you-- I hope you get it.
How about you guys, though?

I'm surprised there's not
little ones running around here.

Yeah.
Well--

We're just not ready yet.

So...

I'm gonna finish the dishes,
so I don't have to worry later.

Oh, I can help.
No. Sit. You're our guest.

Won't take me long.
Okay.

[CHUCKLES]

More wine?
Yes. Thank you.

Of course.

HOLLY:
So when did you guys meet?

At law school?
At law school, Chicago.

How did you two meet?
The first day of undergrad.

Best friends
from the day we met.

Wow.
Until I fucked it up.

Huh. Yeah. Audra's never really
gone into detail about that.

Yeah, it's probably best.

Uh, I don't really come off
great in that story.

You know, I can't believe
that you two...

[CHUCKLES]

Sorry. It's so unlike her.

I guess I'm a bad influence.

Or a good one.

[CHUCKLES]

Would you excuse me
for a minute?

Absolutely.

[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]

[SIGHS]

Hey there.

Sorry, just me. It's just me.

Is everything okay?
Yeah.

Is everything okay with you?
How you feeling about Holly?

Am I being a jerk?

No.
Am I?

Well--
Be honest. Maybe?

Maybe you're not being the
friendliest version of yourself.

Oh, I knew it.

You know why I love you, Noel?

I assumed there was
more than one reason.

There are
at least three reasons.

I'm trying to give you
a compliment.

Sorry. Go ahead.

One of the infinite reasons
I love you, Noel,

is because from
the first moment I met you,

I felt completely myself
with you.

Conversely, Holly makes me
feel uptight.

And history has shown, if she
gets her way, things get...

They get out of control.

Yeah, but it's okay

if you get a little
out of control sometimes.

I know. I should drink wine
and eat a bunch of pot.

Not too much, but yeah.

Okay. I'll be cool. You're here.

She's not gonna
burn the house down.

No, no.
Hurt herself.

We're all adults here.

Nothing to be scared of.

I am not going to let her
burn the house down.

But, Audra...

maybe getting a little out
of control would be good for us.

Okay.
Okay?

Okay.

¶ She dances and I dream ¶

¶ She's not so far
As she seems ¶

¶ Of brighter meadows
Melting sunsets ¶

¶ Her hair blowing
In the breeze ¶

¶ She can't see
Me watching... ¶

Audra introduced me
to this song.

I think of her
every time I hear it.

¶ Love, love ¶

¶ Love, love ¶

¶ Love, love ¶

¶ It's bittersweet ¶

¶ More sweet than bitter ¶

¶ Bitter than sweet ¶

¶ It's a bittersweet
Surrender ¶

¶ It's bittersweet ¶

¶ More sweet than bitter ¶

¶ Bitter than sweet ¶

¶ It's a bittersweet
Surrender ¶

Yeah.
Yeah.

[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]

¶ I said I'm older now... ¶

Can I, uh--? Can I discuss
something with you?

Yeah, of course.

The thing is, I--

This might seem forward,
but you seem like

a person
I can be forward with.

Absolutely.

Audra and I, we're
a very happy couple.

I know. I can see.
That's so sweet.

Hm-hm-hm, thank you.

However, if there was anything
I could point to

as being a little disappointing,
it's the, uh, sex is-- Is not...

I mean, it's fine. No, it is.

It's-- It's just
that there's no, pbbt...

I would describe it as, um...

ordinary.
Mm-hm.

You know what? Forget it.
Forget it. This is so silly.

Noel, just-- Just say
what you need to say.

I'm just having
this stupid thought, and it's--

I need someone
to tell me it's stupid,

to slap me across the face,
tell me I'm an idiot.

What's this stupid idea
that makes you such an idiot?

I was thinking
that the three of us...

¶ More sweet than bitter ¶

That the-- That the--
That the three of--

That the three of--
That might be a fun thing to do.

A threesome?

[SUCKS TEETH]

Like I said, forget it. Wow!

Could we please go back

to before I lost
my fucking mind?

It's insane that
we're having this conversation.

We barely know each other.
Noel.

Uh-uh. Please forget
I said anything.

Noel.
It--

Does that seem like
something Audra would like?

I'm not sure.
I didn't think

she'd ever been
with a woman, so...

Hm.

Why, is that something
that you might like?

The thing with threesomes,

they're not always
two plus one equals three.

Or one plus one plus one
equals three.

Yeah. It is the math
that gets you to three.

I'm sorry, I don't--
I don't follow.

It's not just math.

You have to factor human emotion
into the equation.

Okay.
Yeah.

You're saying it's a bad idea.

I'm saying it's a bad idea

if the three of us
think it's a bad idea.

It's a good idea

if the three of us
think it's a good idea.

I think it's a good idea.

Do you think it's a good idea?

It's potentially a great idea.

I mean, potentially,
depending on Audra.

I didn't coax Audra
into bed when we were 19.

Right.
No, I-- I kissed her, and...

she hesitated because
she's cautious by nature,

but ultimately she wanted it as
much as I did, so it happened.

So if you're into this,
and it sounds like you are,

we could work together
to get Audra onboard, right?

Okay.
Really?

Okay. Okay. Good news.
How does this work?

Do I flirt with you?
Do you flirt with me?

No, you flirt with her.
There it is.

Noel.
That's a smart play.

Okay. Let's just take it easy.

See where the evening goes.

That's the plan? I don't
love it, and I'll tell you why.

Because, um,
as a young single man,

I would often use that strategy,
right? With girls.

I would just see where it goes.

Almost invariably,
didn't go anywhere.

But the guys I knew who didn't
take it easy, hear me out,

the evening would often go
where they wanted it to go.

I get that, but we are not
teenagers on a first date.

We don't want anyone
doing anything

they're going to regret.

That's important.
Okay. Great.

We have a goal, keep that
goal in mind. Play it cool.

Yup. I think that's
the best course of action.

What's the best course
of action?

Hey there. Ha, she scared me.
You scared me.

Oh, my God.

Taxes. We--
I was telling Holly

about the benefits
of an IRA account

for tax purposes, as her
business expands and grows.

Blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, totally, as a freelancer,
that-- That makes perfect sense.

Mm-hm.

Noel would like us
to have a threesome.

I'm totally into it.
How do you feel?

So-- So-- I'm sorry.
Just what--?

Excuse me.

You didn't do what we discussed.

Mm, no. I did the opposite.
Yeah. The funny thing is, it--

It was your plan, remember that?

It was yours. You just throw it
out the window the first second.

I know. But it didn't feel like
the right way to handle it.

Oh, my God. What the fuck now?

You should probably
go talk to her.

Yeah.

You asked her
to have a threesome with us?

I asked her
if she would be interested

in having a threesome,
if you wanted to.

It was about you
and what you wanted to do.

Is this something you do,
check with women,

see if they'd
come to bed with us?

Never. No. Of course not.

Because she and I had a past,

it would make sense
for us to hop into bed?

Well, there is
a certain logic in that, yeah.

It's like I don't even know you.
Okay.

On one hand, I would say,
let's not get dramatic.

And on the other hand,
I would say,

that's the exact
same reaction I had

when you told me
you slept with her.

It was like I didn't
know you for a second.

And then I realized,

it wasn't
that outrageous a thing.

That you wanna have sex
with another woman

outside of our marriage?

Inside of our marriage.
Inside, with you.

Guess I'm easier
to please than you.

I guess-- I don't know.
I love you.

I love being with you.
I love you too.

There's no question
I love the intimacy,

but that's only
one part of sex.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about
the fucking part.

You agreed it was good to get
a little out of control.

This is not at all
what I thought we meant.

I'm talking about
spreading our wings.

You're suggesting another
person in our bed with us.

You wanna put yourself
inside another woman.

It's not about another woman.
Don't get hung up on that.

It's not about Holly.
This is about us.

It's about you and me seeing
if we can step it up sexually.

I tried to fuck you
earlier on the couch.

Fair enough. Okay, yeah.

Sex with a guest
a few feet away

would seem like a step
in the right direction.

I should've accepted
the overture. That's on me.

But I was saving myself
for a potential threesome.

Really? You're admitting
that right now?

I'm trying to be as honest
as I can right now.

There's a lot
of honesty coming out.

I'm not gonna try
and stifle it.

Here it is. I had the idea
of this threesome in my head

because I saw an opportunity.

We could go big.

We could go really big,
and then after,

we could settle back
into a nice middle ground.

Oh, my...

This is a lot to digest, Noel.

It's a lot.

What do you want me to do?

You want me
to tell her to leave?

No, this isn't her fault.
This is you.

Please tell her we will not
be having a ménage a trois.

She's welcome to stay the night.
I just need a few minutes alone.

Yeah.

[QUIETLY]
Sorry.

All right, honey. Mm-hm.

How angry is she?

I wouldn't say
angry is the right word.

No, she seems dismayed. Ahem.

I changed the plan
when you lied to her.

I panicked.

Okay, I-- I'm new at this.

What was I supposed to do?

Not lie.

That's really
not the way to do this.

Want me to talk to her?

No. No, no, no.

She said she'll be down
in a minute.

So how do you wanna
handle it from here?

There's nothing to handle,
Holly.

She doesn't wanna have
a threesome, all right?

She's gonna come down
and pretend

like the last 10 minutes
never happened.

And we're gonna follow her lead.

Okay. If that's
how you wanna do it.

I'll tell you what I don't want,
I don't want my wife to hate me.

Listen, the hardest part
is over.

Now it's time for the reckoning.

Knowing Audra...

[CHUCKLES]

...deep down, she's into it.

[INDIE SONG PLAYING ON STEREO]

¶ A lifeline ¶

¶ I'm reaching out
Hold on ¶

[SIGHS]

I'm fine.
Everything's fine.

I'm gonna finish the kitchen.
I took care of it.

Thank you.

It's Noel's opinion we shouldn't
mention the threesome again.

Why would you wanna have sex
with me and my husband?

Why wouldn't you want to do it?

Is that a serious question?
Yeah.

There-- There are
a number of reasons.

I know the obvious reasons
and frankly they're boring.

You don't need to tell me them.

They're obvious
because they're universal.

Okay. I think it's safe to say

that we're all attracted
to one another.

When Noel brought up the idea
of a threesome, I was--

I was like, "Wow, this
might be the best version

of this evening
that I can imagine."

Great conversation,
a great dinner, wine.

Maybe a-- A wee brownie.

And sex with my best friend
and her husband.

"Sex with my best friend
and her husband"?

Group sex for ordinary people
isn't considered a possibility.

Well, there's nothing
ordinary about you, Audra.

Don't do that.
Don't try to compliment me.

You know what I mean.
Okay.

Just put aside all the reasons
why you think we shouldn't fuck

and just ask yourself,

on a scale of one to 10,
how much do you want to?

Noel?
Ten.

Ten out of 10,
if I'm being honest.

And I'm a 10.

In fact, the more we talk about
it, the more exciting it feels.

Wow. This is a bizarre
conversation, isn't it?

This is bizarre. Who has
conversations like this?

I certainly don't.

I would like this conversation
to be over.

Um...
Yes.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

Probably not.

Oh, big-- Big piece.

Did I--?
Did I dose myself correctly?

It's really good.

I can taste
the marijuana in it. See?

Doing drugs.

They taste amazing.

I wanna know why you still
consider me your best friend

after all these years.

Because it's not
a question of time.

Or how much it hurt

when you didn't wanna
be my friend anymore.

I know I wasn't always
the friend I should've been.

I know that.

[SIGHS]

And I miss you.

I had the most fun with you.

And you taught me more
about myself in those two years

that we were close than
I've learned before or since.

You were the right friend
at the right time.

There's nothing
more valuable than that.

So, what happened?
Did sex ruin the friendship?

Not quite.

Some people are just more
trouble than they're worth.

It's always been my problem.

It wasn't any more
your fault than it was mine.

This is the best cookie
I've ever eaten in my life.

[LAUGHS]

It's about to get better, heh.

[CHUCKLES]

[¶¶¶]

[SINGER VOCALIZING]

AUDRA:
Do you remember that time
that you convinced me

to drive 17 hours into the
desert to see a meteor shower?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Mind you, this is
two days before exams.

Any sane person
should be studying.

Hey, you wanted to go.
You were so enthusiastic.

You, like, packed
for like a week.

I'm a prepared person.
I know.

There were a lot
of Ziploc baggies.

[LAUGHS]

About 15 hours in,
out of nowhere,

we see this family
on the side of the road.

And we had to help them.

We were
in the middle of nowhere.

They could've been ax murderers.

Ax murderers?
They weren't ax murderers.

They were an adorable family,

on their way
to their quinceañera.

And this whole time,
she'd been convincing me

the meteor shower's gonna be
the most amazing thing

I had ever seen in my life.

It was going to be amazing.
Beautiful.

Instead, I found myself
with seven strangers

in the back of my Honda Civic,

driving the opposite direction
to a quinceañera.

A night to remember.
That was a good night.

Okay, I'm going swimming, so...

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

It's way too cold.

No, it's not. I'm swimming.

¶ Melting from the snow ¶

¶ Through this changing state ¶

[SQUEALS]

[LAUGHS]

Come in. It feels great.
No, it doesn't.

You have a pool
in your backyard.

When was the last time you went
skinny-dipping in your pool?

Never.

No.
Never was the last time.

Ah! No! It is too cold.
Good point. Great point.

Yes, get her!

I don't wanna go! Let me--

No! No!

[SCREAMS]

[SHRIEKS, LAUGHS]

I'm so sorry!

[AUDRA & HOLLY SCREAM]

[GASPING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[AUDRA CHUCKLING SOFTLY]

[NOEL CHUCKLES]

I don't think
I should have any more.

NOEL:
Really? All right.

Actually...
Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Mm.

Oh, my God.

This is the best brownie
I've ever eaten.

You said that about the cookie.
Because it's true.

These are all fucking delicious.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

Noel.
Yeah?

We should invest
in Holly's Good 'N Baked.

Fuck it, I'm in. Let's do it.

Um, okay, relax. You're high.

I'm good, and I'm baked.

And I wanna invest
in your company.

It's so good.
I'd be willing.

Well, thank you.
We make money.

We make stupid money.

And we're not stupid with it.

We have savings accounts

for children
that don't even exist yet.

Well, when I need investors,
you'll be the first ones I call.

Good.
Mm.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

I wasn't honest
with you earlier.

Noel and I have been
trying to get pregnant.

I've been trying for over a year
and it hasn't happened yet.

It will.

I wanted you to think
everything was perfect.

Didn't want to shatter
the illusion.

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, well, Noel
kind of did that when, uh...

he took me aside and told me

about your
not-so-great sex life.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, it's a bit, uh...
ordinary.

How was it between you?
AUDRA: Don't answer that.

Uh, well, what I can remember...

Audra was
the most amazing kisser.

Oh, yeah.
I have kissed

many men and a fair
few women, and she is--

She's, hands down,
the best kisser.

It's true. It is.

All that stuff
I said earlier,

I should've told you
what a great kisser you are.

I think it's safe to say

that Audra's just really good
with her mouth.

This one can eat pussy
like a champion, just--

Okay. Okay. Take it easy.

Well, it's true.
My God!

We don't need these anymore.

Yeah. I had a lot.
Yeah. You did.

Okay. What is this?
I'm just...

You're sitting on me.
Yeah.

Just seeing
what I can get away with.

I was thinking I could get
one of those kisses.

Noel?

[¶¶¶]

"The only way to get rid of
temptation is to yield to it."

[WHISPERS]
Oscar Wilde.

Just tell me to stop.

Mm, yeah.
Mm-hm.

Yeah, that's definitely
how I remember it.

Hm.

[HOLLY CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[SHARP KNOCKING AT DOOR]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Well, go answer it.
Okay.

He fucking came on me!
Oh, shit.

Where's your wife?

I was asleep
and he fucking came on me!

[SIGHS]

Fuck!

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

She went right to divorce.

Right to it.
Like she was waiting to say it.

She actually said that? Divorce?

She asked for divorce?
No, she didn't ask.

She was kicking me,
hitting me, berating me.

She demanded a divorce.

She didn't wanna hear
an explanation.

I'm kind of afraid to ask,
but what actually happened?

She woke up at, like,
the worst possible time.

I'm standing over her
and I'm jerking it, you know?

Mm-hm.
And I closed my eyes

because it's starting
to get close...

and right when I'm about to nut,
I open my eyes again...

she's just
fucking staring at me.

Just staring.

Okay. All right. Well--

Was she staring at you
long enough

to know that it wasn't...

I don't know,
an accident or mistake?

She could've been looking at me

trying to unload
on her for like...

30 seconds, I don't know.

I don't know what to tell you.

If she's looking
for a reason for divorce,

that's not a bad one.

I don't need an "I told you so"
right now, okay?

I'm sorry, man. You're right.

I'm sorry.

You wanna come inside,

maybe we can talk it out
with you, or...?

Isn't Holly in there?

Yeah.

Yeah, matter of fact,
I think we were

on our way to a threesome

when you masturbating on Marnie
kind of derailed it.

Get the fuck out.

No. Jesus.
Now I feel even worse.

[SIGHS]

Yeah.

What kind of animal does
something like that?

Jesus Christ!

I thought that I had
that motherfucker figured out.

But, no, I guess
he still can surprise me.

Full disclosure,
I'm stoned right now.

But what can I do?
How can I help?

Do you need some water?
Do you wanna take a shower?

Wanna stay the night?

Should I call the cops?
I can call.

We should call the cops.
You don't have to do anything.

I just needed to get out of
the house before I killed him.

It's okay.

Oh.

Okay, he's walking in.
Yeah? Okay, okay.

What were you thinking,
shithead?

All right, that's fair.

"Shithead" is fair.
I'm a shithead.

He is a shithead.
We can all agree on that.

Can I try to explain, please?

Is there a reasonable
explanation for this?

I don't know about reasonable,
but there's an explanation.

So, what were you thinking?

I'm powerless, Marnie.

You don't care
about what I want,

the kids don't care
about what I want.

I feel like my life
is over already

and there's nothing
I can do about it.

It used to be great.
Now it sucks.

Nobody cares.

And am I supposed to feel sorry
for you about that?

I mean, you basically
just described

what it is to be an adult.

Which is what I have to be
for the both of us.

I handle every bit of bullshit

that you just don't
have the patience for.

You are only concerned
with the fact

that I don't have
enough sex with you.

Yeah, because you used
to love having sex with me.

Well, I also used to love
to do cocaine. Things change.

Not doing cocaine
is not the same

as not fucking your husband.

No. But they are two things

that used to give me
a lot of pleasure

that just don't seem
to interest me anymore.

So, what am I supposed
to do about that?

I don't know.

I don't know, Pete.

But you can't fucking cum on me.

Or you know what? Maybe you can.

But if you would
fucking talk to me about it,

like just talk to me,
because who knows?

Who knows, Pete?
Maybe I like it.

I might be into it.
Are you?

No, you fucking idiot!

[YELLING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[SLAMS]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

Well, that put a real pall
on the entire evening.

[SIGHS]

If we let it.

There are terrible things

happening all over the world
all of the time,

things much worse
than a marriage unraveling.

And we can't always dwell
on that.

It's our job
to make our little...

piece of the world
as happy as possible.

That's what I think.
AUDRA: Wait.

Are you suggesting we resume?

Yeah. Absolutely.
After we watched the car wreck?

Well, we witnessed it,
but we weren't in it.

We can feel bad for them,
and we should feel bad for them

because, I mean, what the fuck?

We can still
celebrate being alive.

You know, to continue the
car wreck analogy for a second,

Pete and Marnie's marriage

has been heading toward a wall
for a long time.

Whether they survive
the crash or not,

it's not gonna
depend on anything

that we do here tonight, right?

No.

[¶¶¶]

Are we really doing this?

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Sorry. Sorry.

[CONTINUE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Oh. Yes.
You okay?

[LAUGHING]

[MOANING SOFTLY]

AUDRA:
Oh, sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

[LAUGHS]

[GASPING QUIETLY]

[GLASSES CLINKING]

Mm.

Got some water.
Thanks, honey.

In case you're...thirsty.

Whew. Wow.

That was, uh...

fun.

[CHUCKLES]

I love you, Audra.
I love you too.

Is it okay if I call my dad,
tell him what happened?

You can't call your father.

You can't tell anyone.
I'm kidding.

Sounds like you're ashamed
of what we just did.

I just have a normal, healthy
adult desire for discretion.

When we have sex,
just the two of us,

you don't make that much noise.

Can we not analyze
this right after the fact?

Sorry.
Please.

I have to say, as someone
who's done this a few times,

you guys did great.

Not just performance
but you handled it really well.

Do you grade us at the end?
Is that how this works?

No, I'm just making
an observation.

But you totally get an A.

[SHUDDERS]

This was a mistake.

Hey, why? What's wrong?

I haven't been honest
with you, Noel.

I was in love
with Holly in college.

Not "love you" like friend love.
I was in love with her.

I don't know how it happened.
We were friends.

And then I fell in love
with her.

I was as in love with her
as I've ever been with any guy.

Not as much as I love you

but more than I've ever
been in love with anyone else.

Don't you think you should've
told me before we all had sex?

You wanted this.
I never would've done it.

Being around her has this--

It does something to me.
Oh, shit.

Oh, my God.

I never told you how I felt,
but to me,

we weren't just hooking up.

To me, we were
in a relationship.

And then you started
sleeping with other people...

and made me feel so stupid.

That's why I couldn't
be your friend anymore.

You downplayed this when you
told me you'd just hooked up.

I know, I know, I know. I wasn't
ready to admit more than that.

I had all this anxiety,
thinking that I would

somehow cause a fissure
in our marriage

because I fucked another woman,
but somehow I'm jealous.

You believe that? I'm jealous.
That's how this panned out.

I was in love with you too.

Excuse me?

I hadn't loved anyone before

and I was fucking terrified.

I, um...

I knew you were
in love with me too.

I was so in love with you

and I didn't know how
to deal with it. I'm sorry.

Hi. Noel again.

Uh, you can't just run off
and become a lesbian.

You know that, right?
I'm not going anywhere.

Please don't freak out.

It's a little hard
not to at this point.

So you just
made me feel like another...

You were never
just another anything.

You've always
been special to me.

Pff, I don't know what to do.

I really don't. I mean,
do I leave you two alone?

Do I tell you to get out
of my house? I don't know.

Wait. Do you prefer having sex
with her or having sex with me?

With-- With you.

Took too long to answer.
Way too long.

It's incomparable, Noel. It's--

I can't even compare them.
It's so different.

Are you trying to steal my wife?
Is that what's going on?

[SCOFFS]
No.

Okay, this wasn't my idea.

Now, I--

I'm gonna go.

I think that's a good idea.

Bye.

Hey, hey, hey!

[SNAPS FINGERS]

What's going on here? Stop that.

It's a goodbye kiss, Noel.

You don't have to leave, Holly.
We're grown women.

This is getting intense
because old unresolved feelings

are bubbling up right now.

That's exactly
why she should go.

I know this is
a fucked-up situation.

I know that.
But you're my husband.

You make me happy.
I'm committed to you for life.

Okay. But no more of that stuff.

Honestly, you can't do that.
I draw the line.

Yeah, well, it's kind of hard.

You're like a drug to me, so...

Hey! You can't talk
to my wife like that.

Okay.
I know how you feel, Noel.

Impossible. I don't
even understand how I feel.

Why don't we all calm down and
we'll discuss how we're feeling.

We'll just have
a calm discussion.

Pff.
Yeah. Okay. I can do that. Um...

I guess I'm feeling
an overwhelming...

sexual attraction to you,

and I kind of wanna
keep fucking you.

Plan B. If those
are the feelings,

we don't talk about them.
I was being honest.

Thought that's what
we're doing. Sorry.

Well, we can't.

We can't. Can we?

No. If I have any say in the
matter, I'd rather not, Audra.

Yeah, I think it's best
we just call it a night. Um...

You have had an 11-hour nap,

but Noel and I
could use some sleep,

so you should go
to the guest room,

and we'll see you
in the morning.

Or we could sleep together.

No!

Yeah.

Night.

[SIGHS]

[¶¶¶]

[DOOR CLOSES]

¶ Day by day
Through the night ¶

¶ All hope fading ¶

¶ Every truth, every lie ¶

¶ Ends with you ¶

¶ Holding on
I can hear ¶

¶ Your heart breaking ¶

¶ Mine is too ¶

¶ Turn around ¶

¶ Don't follow me down ¶

¶ Don't follow me down
From here ¶

¶ Take a breath ¶

¶ Forgive and forget ¶

¶ I'm starting to disappear ¶

There's something else
I should tell you.

What?

Um, so I was--

I was pregnant
when I was in high school.

I miscarried,
but I was pregnant,

you know, without even trying.

So in terms of fertility, um...

[CHUCKLES]

I didn't tell you. I didn't want
you to think it was your fault.

[CHUCKLING]

What? Why are you laughing?

Well, I went to the doctor
a couple months ago

to get myself checked out.

And she told me there's
nothing wrong with my sperm.

So it's not me.

And it's not you.

It just hasn't happened yet.

But it will.

[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY]

¶ We should take ¶

¶ A minute and try again ¶

¶ Breathe ¶

¶ Before we get stuck again ¶

¶ And fall ¶

¶ So we can both rise again ¶

¶ Don't give up ¶

Good morning.

[¶¶¶]

So?

So...

Last night was...

heh, pretty crazy.

To put it mildly, yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

Holly, look,
I don't want you to think

that I'm mad
or upset or anything.

And basically, we all
got what we wanted.

Just turned out to be a little
more than I bargained for.

I made you breakfast.

NOEL:
Oh, looks great. Thank you.

Wait, there's only two plates.
You're not gonna join us?

No. I think the three of us

have done enough together
for one visit.

Actually, I should
probably get going.

Noel, is it okay
if I hug you guys goodbye?

Oh, yeah, a hug is reasonable.
Yeah.

Bye.
Bye, Holly.

Bye. Mm.
Bye, babe.

Maybe we'll do this again
in another 10 years.

[LAUGHS]

Mm.

Okay. Um, don't walk me out.

Please enjoy the food
while it's still hot.

All right.

Thank you.
Bye.

Yeah, there's, uh--

There's weed in the pancakes.
Oh.

I was debating whether
to tell you. I'm sorry.

Actually, I'm not sorry.
I'm not sorry.

The weekend's still here.
You're unbelievable.

So I've been told.

Bye. Heh.

[SNIFFS]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

So that happened.
Yes, it did.

[SIGHS]

[INDIE SONG PLAYING]

[SINGER VOCALIZING]

PETE:
The last six months
have been like, wow.

Our marriage counselor's
amazing.

The shit that comes out of her
mouth would boggle your mind.

Yeah? Like what?

Well, okay, so she looks
at Marnie, right in the eye,

and she says, "Do you want
this marriage to work?

You need to fellate
or masturbate

your husband once a week."
No, she didn't.

"Because that's
something Pete needs."

Really?
Yeah.

There's stuff I have to do

for Marnie too.

For instance,
she likes long foot rubs.

I think feet are disgusting,

but she probably
thinks that about my scrotum.

AUDRA:
You and Pete are like newlyweds.

I know. We have this, like,

newfound appreciation
of each other.

It's nice to come back together
after a couple months apart

and seeing him, like, genuinely
work on our relationship.

It unwound all these years of
resentment I had towards him.

Plus, I took a shit on him.

What?
Yeah.

I feel like, you know,

it made us even
and we needed it.

[LAUGHING]

I'm kidding.
I didn't shit on Pete.

I wanted to though.

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ There's no distance
In between ¶

¶ Darling, you and me ¶

¶ Make this thing complete ¶

¶ We go drifting out to sea ¶

¶ Making memories ¶

¶ Your honey's
O so sweet ¶

¶ You'll always hold on ¶

¶ Prayin' I won't move along ¶

¶ I'll always hold on ¶

¶ Hopin' you'll miss me
When I'm gone ¶

¶ So won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ See those shadows
In your eyes ¶

¶ You could never hide ¶

¶ The thunder deep inside ¶

¶ See, I love your passion
Dear ¶

¶ Makes it
O so clear ¶

¶ With laughter
Comes the tear ¶

¶ I'll always hold on ¶

¶ Knowin' you'll miss me
When I'm gone ¶

¶ So won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ There's no distance
In between ¶

¶ Darling, you and me ¶

¶ Make this thing complete ¶

¶ We go drifting
Out to sea ¶

¶ Making memories ¶

¶ You're always all I need ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ Follow me ¶

¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ Won't you follow me ¶

¶ So won't you follow me ¶