Original subtitles

? A new day dawns in the wild wild west ?

? When a school will discover Who will be the best ?

? And you know when the going gets tough ?

? Mikey's going to dig down And use the right stuff ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? Then you've gotta give it your all ?

[hip hop music]

? Come on ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? You've gotta think big not small ?

? If you wanna play handball ?

? Then you've gotta play hardball ?

That's a pretty skux song, eh?

Let's do it again. Hit it

[ringing bell]

? A new day dawns in the wild wild west ?

? When a school will discover Who will be the best ?

? And you know when the going gets tough ?

? Mikey's going to dig down And use the right stuff ?

[hip hop music]

? Now I wanted to play But you know I got banned ?

? Which is totally crap because I'm handball's biggest fan ?

? By helping train Mikey Making him all that ?

? He can be the deadly at ?

? SASI-WESTS-HAT ?

? 'Cause it's the battle of Block Street ?

? Where the best in the school meet ?

? It's the battle of Block Stree t ?

? The one who wins is gonna be sweet ?

? So I'm not really sure If I'm any good but ?

? I'm trying to be smoking Like burning firewood ?

? Salwa and Jerry want me to play ?

? But if I had my own way ?

You know, I'd probably just stay at home

because this handball battle is really intimidating

and I'm not a very competitive kid.

[chirping crickets]

? But remember Howie the handball hero ?

? Wherever you are that's where he goes ?

? You got power like a big thunderstorm ?

? Plus don't forget I made These matching uniforms ?

Nice uniforms, not.

What are you supposed to be, homeless Olympians?

Good one, Tiff

That's offensive to my handiwork, to homeless people and to Olympians.

Well done, you've achieved the insult trinity.

- What he said. - I was being funny, obvi.

So funny we forgot to laugh.

That was actually really witty, okay?

Just because something's witty doesn't mean it's okay to be cruel.

Whatever. Good luck today, Mikey.

- You're gonna need it. - Good luck to you too.

May the best person win.

Super thoughtful.

Zip it, Lance.

[bell ringing]

[slow ticking]

I'm well aware that today is your little handball tournament to decide the�

athletes that will represent our fine school.

[group chattering]

Silence

It's not just a little handball tournament.

It's the Battle of Block Street,

where 20 kids battle it out for three spots

at SASI-WESTS-HAT.

I'm more nervous than�

I'm so nervous, I can't even think of a nervous thing

Despite today's activities I expect you to maintain focus,

learn and retain.

What are you wearing?

Uniforms for the battle, Miss.

But Salwa's banned.

I'm his trainer.

Tiffany, what is our dress code?

- Students are to wear the school uniform

during school hours, while traveling to and from school

and when engaged in any school activity.

Word perfect

Is that a school uniform?

No, Miss.

Off, now.

Good.

Spelling bee.

Yes.

[group grumble]

M-A-G-I-C-I A-N.

- Magician - Correct.

I'm gonna be the magic man and make school disappear.

T-R-A I-T-A.

Traita

Incorrect

T-R-A-I-T-O-R.

Traitor.

Sit

A-N-X-I-O-U-S, anxious.

The word was volcano.

Yeah, right, H-A-N-D-B-A-double L. Handball.

- [group giggle] - Again, the word was volcano.

V-O-L-C-A-N-O.

Sit.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y.

[whispers] Victory.

Perfect.

[bell rings]

[knuckles crack]

[microphone squeal]

Testing, I'm Bao, testing.

I don't think I can do this, bro.

Mahaki, when I was a boy,

You are a boy.

A younger boy.

A lot of people wanted to wrap me in cotton wool

but my father, Bruce, bless him,

did the opposite and taught me that fear's fine.

It means you care.

And he made me, the man I am today.

Touching story, bro, but, again, you are a boy.

Mahaki, you were made for this.

Hurry, the game's starting.

Quick, lift up your sleeve.

Eimoh?

Howie. I believe in you, Mahaki.

Skux, I've always wanted some ink.

[whistle blows]

[dramatic music]

Let's get ready for handball.

Tiffany's gonna trash talk you to psyche you out.

You have power.

- Focus on precision. - Noted

This is the largest battle Block Street's ever seen.

We have 20 brave players.

You've been given a number based on the order of your registration

- What number am I? - 20

Who are the top three?

We are.

[dramatic music]

[music stops]

Thank you for joining us.

Pleasure, Prisha.

Of course, Prisha

You're welcome, Prishaaaaaa [singing]

Thank you for the pre-show entertainment.

You're welcome.

To your squares, in five, four

Move it, Mikey

Three, two.

[whistle blows]

This is fully sick, It's like we're on telly.

Can I have a turn?

No way, I'm the star.

You're like the support.

Now, the rules.

No body shots. No lines.

No line favours.

No replays, no in toes, no poison.

No footsies. No tree tops.

No made-up rules. This is pure elmo's.

Elmo's is for eliminations.

Got no idea what the others are.

The game ends when we have three players left.

They will be going to SASI-WESTS-HAT.

I'm the referee.

The final say, right here. Any questions?

- Can I go to the toilet? - Do you wanna play?

- Yes. - Then no.

Warm up

[Selwa] Oi, Tiffany.

Mikey's gonna get ya'.

Ref, she's being annoying.

Serve

[suspenseful music]

Okay, we've got Tiff in position one, serving.

[dramatic music]

Out.

Sick. It's like Friday Night Footy

- It's daytime. - Bao

And it's Wednesday.

Mate, you're full on.

Support, don't sabotage.

[dramatic music]

Out.

Out.

Out.

Sweet start.

Very sweet.

Oi, stay focused.

Sorry.

[dramatic music]

Out.

Out.

Smell ya' later

So funny, smell instead of see.

Thanks, brao.

Only nine left, it's like the highlights.

[dramatic slow music]

Mahaki, she's coming for you.

Can we press pause? I'm feeling a lot of pressure.

Pressure makes diamonds, Mikey.

- Learn to love it. - I like diamonds.

- Shiny as. - No, the pressure.

- Wait, what? - Forget it. Focus Mahaki.

[dramatic music]

Lance, gross, I hate boogers, okay?

Yuk.

Soz.

[bell rings ball whirling]

Oh, you egg.

Out.

Are you the referee?

No, but he it all the way to China, okay?

He hit the ball after the bell, he's safe.

He's out.

I served it before the bell.

But the contact came after the bell, he's safe.

What?

I can't believe this!

Argh!

Saved by the bell.

That was the first hit I had and I smashed it.

You're in the top nine.

Oh, wow.

Well, what a dramatic end to the first half.

Top nine, rest up.

This battle ends at lunchtime.

Yes, it does.

What's happening at lunchtime?

[upbeat music]

Okay, now let's see add some cheese.

Oh, oh, not too much, just a sprinkle.

Mwah.

And finally some basil.

I'm gonna eat you so hard, Mr Pizza.

Um, weird much?

- Miss? - Yes?

The margarita pizza was created in Naples in 1898.

Hmmm, random fact.

- Thank you, Tiffany. - Welcome.

Hey Miss Bahm?

Imagine if your first name was itchy?

Never gets old, Mustafa.

Okay chefs, bring your pizzas up.

So, what shall we do while they're cooking?

Drool, Miss?

They look choice as.

No, we don't drool, Mikey.

We clean.

Okay, come and get some.

Miss, we're short on plates.

- Really? - Yep.

Okay, I'll go and grab some more from the store room.

Can we start?

Your pizzas look amaze, Miss.

Okay, but just be careful 'cause they're really hot.

Of course.

Listen up, okay?

Pizza eating comp.

I've got four dollars 25 cents for the winner.

I don't eat pizza.

Thanks for the info.

It makes me bloated.

Great, any takers?

Up the price, I'll give it a go.

Revised offer.

Nine dollars 30 cents and a button.

Thanks Lance.

- I'm in. - Same.

Okay Mikey, Mustafa, the entire slice must be eaten,

including the crusts.

Questions?

Great.

Three, two,

one, go.

[upbeat electronic music]

20 seconds.

[stomach gurgles]

Oh no.

Out. Congratulations Mikey.

Good job, woo hoo.

Hungry hippos.

So delish, Miss.

Well I guess you don't need these plates then?

Okay, let's just finish with our cleaning, hey?

Hey Mikey, you did really, really well.

Ooh, a little shaky.

You know, for my seventh birthday my Dads

took to me to the most amazing pizzeria.

It was so good, okay?

I ate so much I could barely move.

I think I went into a carb coma.

[echoing] carb coma, carb coma, carb coma

Took days to feel better.

- [stomach gurgles] - [bell rings]

Well, see you on the court.

Mikey?

[growling]

[Mahaki Voiceover] Mahaki, you in there?

Unicorn, bananas, Tuesday.

Oh, Tiff's gotta pay.

Oh.

What's that?

I get this at my cousin's.

They shove so much food down my throat my blood sugar goes mental.

You gotta fight to stay focused.

I'm on the train to Vom Town, population� me.

Toot, toot

Sniff.

- What is that? - Koala food.

Fuzzy and cute.

Mahaki.

Kia-kaha.

- Kia- [gurgling]

Kaha. Let's go.

[uplifting music]

Ooh, ow, oh.

Welcome to the Wild Bao Show.

Today you'll be with me, Bao,

and our special guest, Pizza Guy.

- I'm gonna vomit. - Great!

[gurgling and rumbling]

[whistle blows]

Let the game begin.

I feel sea sick.

[dramatic music]

Watch out.

Out.

Oh close.

Stay sharp.

Goodbye, you were the weakest chain.

It's link.

[laughing ] So funny, Pizza Guy.

Don't get too comfy, big butt.

I like big butts, I cannot lie.

Out.

Out.

Out.

[kids cheering]

Mikey, you're going down.

So down, you'll be in the abyss.

So down, you'll find molten lava.

So down, you'll be�

deep.

I'm still standing.

Out.

Lines.

The call is out.

You cannot be serious, it was lines.

You can see the chalk.

- Come on. - Out.

- Intoes - Out.

- Poison. - Out.

Replay. Come on, replays always tell the truth.

Hack it.

[group chant] Hack it.

And then there were four.

Boys and girls, the next person out will decide the team

for SASI-WESTS-HAT.

[dramatic music]

Mahaki, we don't all get these moments.

I'm hurting, bro.

Just stay away from the ball.

Not hitting it's working for you.

Hope you've had fun fluking it this far Mikey,

but there's no room for you in the final three.

Tiff, you've got a booger.

Out.

Sorry.

Goodness gracious. That was epic.

Hey Tiffany, I've just had a Tepiphany.

I'm still standing.

[kids cheering]

- Yes. - Hey guys.

Aaargh

Ah, no.

What's up?

Are you okay?

[vomiting]

Um, I'm not cleaning that up.

No.

Congratulations to our final three.

Up you come.

[class clapping]

Well done.

At SASI-WESTS-HAT one of you may be crowned

the best in the West,

but all of you will have an opportunity

to represent our school a positive light.

Tiffany, a few words on behalf of your delightful dads?

Signed by your parents and delivered to my

dad's office by 4pm tomorrow, or you're not playing.

- Where's their office? - Look it up.

Okay.

[class clapping]

[upbeat music]

Smells good, Auntie

Yeah.

Kind of burnt that one though.

- No. - But it looks good, thank you.

Not sure they were worth the carb coma, but still.

Thanks for the new jerseys, Mahaki.

Don't worry bro, still got yours.

Please, these are at least 300 per cent better.

- Feel good, play good. - [Daddy] Alright.

Mahaki Senior, you would've been so proud of your boy today.

Always proud of my boy. Boom

I didn't even hit it, but.

You're like the ice skater that won the gold medal

at the Olympics because everyone fell over.

Still, a gold medal is a gold medal.

Tiff says I fluked it.

Who cares about Tiff?

You kept your chin up and played by the rules.

Doesn't matter how you won, boy, you won.

She said I had a big bum.

Your bum is big.

So what?

Pass your rego form boy.

A big bum's a sign of strength.

Ah, sweet. Good to know.

Your Dad's got a big bum.

Where my power comes from.

Lot of bum talk happening.

My ex had a big bum, used to call him Mr Big Bum.

Not quite sure what to say now.

What's wrong, boy?

Crap attack.

What?

My form's at school.

What?

[upbeat theme song]

What sound does echidnas make when they hug?

Ouch!

? Hardball ?

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