Original subtitles

? A new day dawns in the wild wild west ?

? When a school will discover Who will be the best ?

? And you know when the going gets tough ?

? Mikey's gonna dig down And use the right stuff ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? Then you gotta give it your all ?

? Come on ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? You gotta think big, not small ?

? If you wanna play handball ?

? Then you gotta play hardball ?

[ominous music]

Sorry I'm late bro Sir.

Couldn't find my helmet

You must enter the maze.

Choice. One time my dad--

Save it, if you want to fit in on the Colossal 5 Billion,

- Huh? - This spaceship.

Oh.

You'll need this.

This would look sweet on a Christmas tree.

Your mission, find the Queen.

So does the Queen have a name tag?

No.

- Crown? - No.

Talk in a posh accent?

Hello Mikey, I'm the Queen.

No.

Oh.

Now, go.

[uptempo techno music]

Stop right there.

Okay, okay, stopping bro.

This area is out of bounds.

I'm looking for the Queen, do you know her?

I'm her protector, sort of.

Minion actually.

Step aside bro, I need to find her.

I really wish I could but--

I'm on a mission.

The only way you could get pass me is to tag me with that.

Then what happens?

It will freeze me.

Oops, I probably shouldn't have said that.

[uptempo electronic music]

Sorry bro, nice hair.

[uptempo electronic music]

I've been waiting for you�

Noob.

[dramatic music]

Oh, that makes sense.

What?

Nothing, do I have to tag you?

Not if I tag you first, okay.

[dramatic music]

Holy-heck, what's going on?

Buckle up.

- Ready? - I guess.

Let's go.

[tires screeching]

[uptempo rock music]

[Mikey] Hair done.

Sort of.

Lunch.

Aww.

Oh.

[uptempo rock music]

Oh, my leg's stuck.

With a minute to spare.

Nice work, Auntie.

[uptempo instrumental music]

Yoghurt please.

Vanilla.

Got it.

Spoon.

Anything else?

Just my toastie but that's toasting.

[sizzling]

There are three SASI-WESTS spots.

Why can't one be yours?

Coz I got the coordination of a baby wallaby.

Cheese, pineapple, vegemite toasties, no butter.

Ah, it's not for me.

- It's for Jerry. - That's what they all say love.

Enjoy.

[uptempo guitar music]

I reckon you'd make the top three easy peasy.

- What have you got to lose? - My time.

You don't need time, you're a natural.

Tiff's really good but--

But you're great.

Fine, if it will get you off my back.

Salwa Zara.

Cute, I'll need a warm up.

In your dreams.

In my not dreams.

So, like in reality?

Shut it, noob.

Watch it.

What are you gonna do? Turn me into baklava?

Yum.

No, it's not Lance.

It's yuck, okay.

What's happening?

Tiff's a teacher's pet too scared to play me.

I am not chicken.

You said it, not me.

I'm not.

Then why don't you ever play me?

'Cause you've never asked.

I can remember at least six times.

Well, I can remember at least six times

I've wanted to tell you to can it Jerry.

[Salwa clucks like a chicken]

- I am not chicken. - Are too.

- Am not. Am not. - Are too.

- Are too. - Am not.

- Prove it, let's do a death rally. - Fine.

Death rally!

? Hey oh ?

[uptempo instrumental music]

Death rally, first to miss or make an error is out.

I want a clean fight.

No body shots. No lines-favours

and absolutely no, replays. Got it?

Play.

This is more intense than watching the All Blacks

play the Wallabies with my uncle.

Ahh.

[whistle blows]

[suspenseful music]

Out.

- [students applauding] - Game to Salwa Zara.

[students applauding]

Good game.

Whatever, it was only a death rally, okay.

Only the most accurate way to determine a champion.

It wasn't official.

I'd rather eat hummus and I hate garlic.

Garlic's a choice and great for the immune system.

Garlic's dumb and that's the truth, okay.

[bell ringing]

[uptempo guitar music]

What say you ditch training and kick back tonight?

I'll cook your favorite.

Bubble and Squeak.

[slow pop music]

Bye.

[students speaking]

5B, there was an urgent principal elect matter

which required my full attention.

That a Bullfrog scarf?

I might have watched the odd game.

Sick!

Mz Crah-per, I'm so sorry.

There was an old lady I was helping at the library.

I just had to make sure she got to the bus stop safely okay.

You never cease to amaze me Tiffany.

The rest of you should strive to be so compassionate.

Surface area.

Real world examples.

Discuss.

Construction?

One of my uncle's was a builder.

He's always calculating.

There are bigger fish to fry.

What if you're trying to figure out

how much water to put in a swimming pool?

Please, by the way, that's volume, not surface area.

Or maybe you're like a pizza chef

and you're trying to figure out how much pepperoni you put on the pizza.

Salwa, will you be training for SASI-WESTS-HAT?

- You must. - Maybe.

- Why maybe? - 'Coz.

- 'Coz? - 'Coz why?

'Coz, I don't have time for games.

I've got cousins to visit, rice to cook

and Sweet Yummy to run.

Sweet whatty?

The sweet shop dummy.

Are we talking about surface area?

[Students] Yes Miss.

Well, would you like to share with the class?

What do we do?

Follow my lead.

Salwa, be my hands.

Okay.

[whimsical music]

May we present surface area.

An exploration into shorter handball lines.

As you know, the upcoming Battle of Block Street will decide

the three students representing our school

at SASI-WESTS-HAT.

What?

The handball tournament.

Lame name.

Anyway, I predict there will be a lot more of us

wanting to practice and hopefully gain a spot on the team.

Now, the standard court size is four meters by four meters.

Ding.

If we divide this by four, we get four equal squares.

Each two meters by two meters.

If we divide again.

- What? - Draw two more lines down.

- Okay. - We'll get eight rectangles.

Making the game not for four but eight.

There.

[students laughing]

So in conclusion, surface area is a choice way

to get more game time.

Thank you.

Be seated.

One problem with your equation.

It's called four square, okay.

[bell rings]

[phones chiming]

[students laughing]

[Miss Crapper] Salwa Zara, come to my office right now.

I didn't do it.

We know that but it was sent from your account, not a good look.

Someone got my password.

I mean, who does that?

Only the lowest of the low.

- Who? - I think we all know who.

Tiffany.

I'm 89% sure it was her but without proof,

the crapper won't believe it.

It's gotta be her!

She's scared I'm gonna beat her.

[Miss Crapper] Salwa!

Give me your phone.

What? Trust me.

[Miss Crapper] Salwa Zara!

[suspenseful music]

Please explain.

[Miss Crapper] You've been busy, haven't you?

Vamoose.

Intense� so how are we gonna prove it?

I know a guy� but it's complicated.

[uptempo techno music]

[doorbell buzzing]

Speak.

Hello Kevin.

What do you want?

I need help.

Oh, like I did last night when you pulled out of

our online gaming hour of power?

I had homework.

More like lamework.

Please, open the door.

[doorbell buzzing]

Well, well, well now the tables have turned.

Sweet set-up bro.

Who's your pal?

[slurping noise]

Mi--

[slurping noise]

Mi--

[slurping noise]

Enough!

His name is Michael Mahaki.

What do you want?

Can you trace the school networking post?

Is a hot chocolate always improved by a single pink marshmallow?

Touch�.

[computerized music]

[laughing]

Whilst the post was sent from Salwa's account,

it was not sent from Salwa's phone.

Salwa did not post the video.

Can you prove who did?

Yes, but it'll take time

and two family sized packs of preservative free snakes

minus the orange ones.

They make me gassy.

Fine.

Now, be gone.

Oh, and PS, Dad's got Pilates 'til six

so you'll have to walk home.

[slurping noise]

He's your big bro?

And a pain in my you-know-what.

Let's tell Miss the video wasn't sent from Salwa's phone.

Cool your jets.

We need to prove Tiff hacked Salwa's account first.

[Tiff giggling]

[Mikey and Jerry giggling]

Can I help you?

Hello?

What's so funny, okay?

What's so funny is how lazy the real criminal was.

What?

Salwa didn't send the video out.

Yes, she did.

Right, Lily?

She totes did.

Right Lance?

Tiff didn't hack Salwa's account.

We never said she did.

You know, every device leaves a digital footprint.

A what print?

Jerry told me to say that, no idea what it means.

Be careful Tiff.

Big Brother's watching.

Oh, I'm so scared.

Me too.

I'm not.

I'm actually really inspired by your quest for the truth.

Oh no, yeah, me three.

Anyways, it doesn't matter.

Salwa's toast.

You haven't heard?

She got sent home.

Banned from handball at school.

I mean, she can still try out for SASI-WESTS-HAT

but without any practice, good luck.

It's a real shame.

I know how much she wanted it.

? Yeah ?

That girl really grinds my gears.

Meet me after school Mahaki.

Why?

Salwa needs this back.

[bell ringing]

[bell ringing]

- Mahaki. - Sorry bro.

- Mahaki. - Sorry bro.

What are you doing?

No!

What are you doing!

[dramatic music]

[uptempo middle eastern music]

She's out back.

- Hi. - Hey.

Hey.

Sorry you got banned.

You prove it was Tiffany?

No, but Big Brother's on the case.

The Crapper's been waiting to come down on me.

Tiff has the motive.

She'll take any advantage she can

to guarantee a place in the top three.

This is so soft.

She may have won this battle

but it doesn't mean she has to win the war.

Salwa, how do you get this off?

You're a natural but not being able to train at school

decreases your chance of participating in SASI-WESTS-HAT

by at least 38%.

Is this dough or glue?

In the event you don't make it,

we need a new challenger that can show Tiff

bullies won't be tolerated.

Mikey, be the back-up.

[Salwa laughing]

Mikey?

He's played like once.

And I missed the shot.

That's why you and I need to train him.

I've seen it.

He's a wild stallion.

I'm not sure about that bro.

You just need to be trained.

I dunno Jerry.

I know what I saw.

It was a fluke.

There are no flukes, only facts.

That's beginner's luck bro.

Do it again.

Serious?

- Hit it. - Nah.

Hit it Mahaki!

[uptempo guitar music]

[phone beeps]

Auntie's here.

Is there somewhere I could, ah?

Mmm, yeah.

[uptempo guitar music]

[uptempo techno music]

[horn beeps]

Auntie.

And you are?

The name's Jerry.

Please to meet you Auntie Mahaki.

What happened to your legs boy?

Cerebral Palsy happened.

Need a lift?

No, I live around the corner

and I haven't reached my step target for the day.

Think about it Mahaki.

[uptempo pop music]

What was that Jerry fella talking about?

It's a long story.

Just give me the short version.

Well, there's a handball tournament at the end of the term a

and Jerry thinks if Salwa, my new friend, doesn't get in, the school bully might win

so I need to enter because I'm a wild stallion.

Neigh.

I mean, I got power, but zero skill.

You know this car?

- Yeah. - It's got a big fuel tank.

Take a match to that tank, it explodes.

Woah.

But with a tuned engine, that raw fuel

can be turned into energy that moves us at a constant 50 clicks per hour.

I think that makes sense in her head.

It's an automatic, right?

Yeah but I'll teach you how to drive some other time.

[uptempo pop music]

[chuckles]

That's coach Connor McCann. He can do 70 push ups in one minute.

How many can you do, Daddy?

72.

Choice.

Pass me my shake?

Hey Daddy, if you had the chance to help your friends

but it meant doing something you didn't want to do,

would you do it?

Making friends already?

I think so.

Adda-boy� so this thing you need to do,

is it illegal?

No way!

Friends, family, it's all we got in the end.

[Daddy farts]

You need to cut back on those shakes.

Nah, coach says I need to bulk up.

But you're massive.

Part of being a man boy, is doing things you don't wanna do.

You know what I mean?

Why is everybody being so cryptic today?

[slow guitar music]

[Daddy farts]

Again?

Sorry boy, sweet dreams.

[bell chiming music]

[Mikey farts]

[laughing] - Good one boy!

Thanks, Daddy!

[phone chiming]

[uptempo techno music]

Why was Max sad?

Too many problems.

? Hardball ?

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