Original subtitles

hi hon hope you had a safe flight listen can you do me a favor some of the other

groomsmen might say some things you find offensive or politically incorrect but

can you just not fight them

Compadre!

Welcome to our palace, brother.

Hang out. I'll be down in a sec, okay?

Okay.

It's all gonna be good.

Yo,

how was your flight? Long. I need a drink. I bet you fucking do.

Sorry about that. Hey, don't worry about it.

Seriously, I'm so happy you're here.

I really appreciate you coming, man. I know this isn't your scene.

Yeah, I mean, of course.

All right, man. Well, let's grab your shit, get you inside, and grab you a

brew. Sounds good.

Let's go.

I'm good, man.

Well, too bad. Rules are rules. Now get down on one knee, bitch. It's your turn.

You can fucking ice. Look, I told you, I'm not drinking anymore.

Drink it. I'm not going to drink it. I'm really not. Dude, stop being such a

bitch and let me ice you. Yo!

You guys remember my little brother Pete?

Oh, shit.

Eric's little bro. Get in here, brother.

Fuck yeah.

Dude, it's been like fucking forever since I've seen you. Yeah, it's been

like 15 years.

Fuck, that's crazy.

So Eric says you're some big shot in LA now? Oh, I don't know about that.

Dude, I am happy for you, bro.

Just watch out for the dirty Antifa fucks.

They're all over the place down there.

They don't respect this country.

Why the fuck should we respect that? You know what I'm saying?

Knock, knock, motherfuckers!

Last day of freedom!

What's up, brother?

Hey,

you remember my little brother Pete?

Hey, you good?

Yes. Sorry.

It's been a long, long drive.

I'll be right. I'll be right back.

Hi,

hon. Get gay bashed yet?

You know the OnlyFans porn star I'm obsessed with?

Cooper Bryant.

The one you give half your salary to?

Sure. I think he's here. I know he's here.

Like on Grindr in the mountains?

No, like here.

For my brother.

What?

Literally how?

I don't understand.

He looks nothing like he did in high school.

His name is Jack and he was like the meanest one growing up.

That tracks.

He was probably projecting his own internalized shit on you.

But he can't... actually be gay.

None of my brother's a proud boy-ass friend group.

So he's gay for pay?

I think that wasn't kosher anymore.

It's not kosher. It's totally exploitative.

But with those eyes, I could see the community giving him a pass.

Y'all are pathetic.

I should call him out.

Oh, fuck.

What? You don't... Think I should?

I don't think I'm overreacting.

I mean, he definitely deserves it, but your brother is not going to love this.

What he's doing is so fucked up, though.

I have to.

Gee, feeling okay, man?

Um, yeah. I just, uh, needed a second.

Okay. Well, how are you, man? What do you do? Where do you live?

I haven't seen you in years.

Yeah, I do product design for a healthcare startup in L.A.

Okay, sick.

So what do you do?

I'm a filmmaker.

Oh.

What types of films do you make?

It's a lot of experimental stuff.

A lot of material I write for myself.

So you're an actor, too.

My audience.

Likes me best when I'm also in front of the camera.

Yeah.

And who is your audience?

Me? What?

Pretty diverse, actually.

Young, old, right, left.

Um, well, do you see yourself in your audience?

What do you mean? Like, do you think that your work is contributing to, uh...

that you also belong to.

Okay, Pete.

That's enough of your little interrogation, bud. I'm just trying to

get to know your friends.

Okay, well, chill.

You're being weird.

Let's go grill these fuckers, huh?

Let's do it. Let's do it.

I'm not a liar.

I'm a gay waiter.

And it's fucked.

Ten years of my life. I know. And I'm sorry for, you know, pushing you to

drink. I didn't realize what was going on. Yeah, but just lean on us, man.

That's what we're here for. Yeah, I know. I know. Don't be afraid to do

that, all right? It's not a fucking weakness to lean on us.

Did you, um, get dumped?

Dude, this...

It's not middle school, okay?

They were engaged. They called off the wedding, all right?

Damn.

That's, I mean, that's so hard.

Engaged for three years.

Well, you just got to get out there and start worshiping some new, um, puss,

right?

No.

Jesus. What you need to do is understand that this is an opportunity to begin

your own personal growth journey.

Never mind.

No, let's hear it.

I mean, you clearly think you have us both figured out, so what's so fucking

funny? Okay, let's just push the restart button on this night, okay?

Do you guys want to do some shots?

No.

Okay, then.

Gay people are supposed to, like, get it.

Right?

Hey,

everyone.

He's lying.

Straight.

We. Got.

Played. Isn't that fucked?

He's using us.

Phony.

Phony. Looking.

Ass.

You should be ashamed.

I get what you're saying. Like, two wrongs don't make a right. But, like,

these people are angry, and I feel like they have a right to be. Of course they

do. I believe that Black Lives Matter. I just also believe that all people's

livelihoods matter, okay? And it's like, I draw the line at looting. It's

unnecessary. Oh, my God.

Enough.

Enough. The town bully's back.

What's so funny? You guys are so confusing.

Confusing? I can't... Yeah, okay. Two seconds ago, Dan's talking about

Taylor's personal growth journey, and now y'all are down here spewing some all

-lives-matter tone-deaf garbage about property rights? Like, pick one.

So what, I can't be there for my friend and also think that a small business

shouldn't be... No, you can't have it both ways. Dude, I think you're missing

the nuance. Okay, you know what? You, you're the worst one here. You're

sitting around nodding and agreeing with all the offensive shit these guys are

saying. Meanwhile, a minority community is paying all your bills.

What? Oh!

You think I don't know?

Because I, along with every other faggot in the world, knows exactly what the

inside of your asshole looks like. All right.

Guys, people pay to watch Jack get fucked by other guys.

Those are the films he's making. Okay, Pete, take it down a level. No, it's

fucked. He's fully out here as some bigot, piece of shit, straight guy,

exploiting the fantasies of gay guys for profit. I would say queer. Fuck off.

Pete, enough.

Jack is gay.

Yeah, like, super gay.

So fucking gay. Ethically gay. Okay, ethically gay. I like it. He can say the

F word, which we can't anymore.

Guilty as charged.

Card-carrying cum dump here, and I'm proud of it. And we love our cum dump!

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know. You never asked.

You just didn't think to tell your gay brother that your best friend is also

gay? Well, you hate when people are like, hey, you should meet my gay

friend. Yeah, when the friend is Phil from work, not a fucking porn star.

I don't know if I'm a star, but... You are a fucking star.

You are a star.

Petey, you never come around.

You don't respond to any of my fucking texts, ever. You're basically a ghost. I

didn't think you cared what the fuck was going on in any of our lives.

This is bullshit.

All you fuckers used to torture me, and now you're just cool with having a gay

friend?

Yeah, man.

It's called growing up.

I know for me, at least, it probably was internalized homophobia growing up.

Okay, well, thank you so much, Jack. Peace.

Look, ask anybody with an older brother, and they will tell you that their older

brother and his friends fucked with them. That's just the way it goes.

Yeah, look at this.

See that?

That's from my brother's best friend.

Best man at his wedding.

That mosquito bite?

No. Almost hit an artery.

It's an emotional scar. I had six stitches. Look at that shit. It's a

fucking big scar. It's so hard.

P, I take it you're a subscriber then?

Hey, it's all right. Your brother here is too. That's fucking right. What are

best friends for?

First comment every time.

Oh, shit.

What?

Dude, your account is blowing up. What the fuck?

People are coming to you. I've lost so many subscribers.

What the fuck?

I, uh... Might have had something to do with that.

Pete, what the fuck? I'll delete all the comments and say I was lying. Are you

fucking kidding me? I didn't know what was going on.

I think it's a little late for that. I mean, I can fix it. The damage is done,

man. I can fix it.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Mr.

Woke. coming for a sex worker's livelihood.

Yeah, Peter.

I think you kind of owe him a solid.

Yeah, I think, Peter, my boy, the only way you can right your wrong is for Jack

to hatefuck his troll on OnlyFans.

Sorry, Eric. Honestly, I think the fans would...

die for that, actually.

I don't do that.

Oh, so you're above it?

No, no, no, not that I find anything wrong with it. I mean, I think it's

super admirable what you're doing, and obviously I benefit from it. I just, you

know, I mean, I would love to do those things with you.

I mean, I hope that's okay to say. That's sweet. I mean, I just, like, I

don't feel comfortable.

Hey, it's cool.

We'll hire someone and pretend that they're a commenter.

All right?

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Your steak was burnt to shit.

Fuck you. The steak was cooked by a gay man.

How did you not know that he was gay after that steak?

I fucking hate y'all.

Yeah, well, you ate the fucking steak.

So, you know, there's candy cheesers over here.