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Original subtitles

Wow.

Welcome to Bing Bop Toys, home of the talking Teddy Bears.

This is Leah.

All right, cut the crap. You're off the clock.

Whoa, what?

What are you doing working on a weekend, you psycho?

My Manolos don't pay for themselves.

Where are you?

- I'm at... I'm at Buzz's. - Oh.

The part-time bubble soccer instructor?

He's athletic.

Is that what we're calling it these days?

He's hot.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Oh.

- Show me the room. - I'm not showing you the room.

- Show me the room. - Fine.

Ew.

Ugh. Who are you dating again?

His name is Ben.

At least I think it is.

There's been a couple this month, so it's been confusing.

Yeah, I know, you have a menagerie of Bens.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Anyway, ew, oh, okay, I'm hanging up.

Bye.

Hey.

Hey, uh...

You're on the pill, right?

Why?

Uh, you know, it's actually, it's probably fine.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Uh, what's... what's probably fine?

Okay, word. Um...

It snapped.

It snapped?

Yeah, like... pfft.

Snapped.

No, I know what that means.

In half.

- Phew. Okay, okay. - Cool.

We can go to the store.

We'll go to the store, and that's cute.

We can go to the pharmacy together.

No, I can't.

You can't?

No.

I'm getting ready for my callback, babe.

It's like a possible callback, so...

That's not how callbacks work, I'm pretty sure.

Look, you're really, really hot.

Thank you.

Like I really would like to just...

Again.

You're awesome. Like, a solid six outta 10.

Here. It's not a bad place to be.

But my career's kinda like taking off right now, you know?

And I can't have anybody getting in the way of that, so.

I mean, it wouldn't be fair, you know?

To the fans.

To your fans?

The fans from the background modeling job

that you did for Home Goods?

Those fans.

I got like 250 followers outta that gig.

I'm crushing it.

Right.

So, if you would excuse me.

I got a callback to prep for.

Running a little low over here, Tilda.

How long has it been since we lost Buddy?

It'd be five years this Saturday.

Sweet man.

Lord rest his soul.

He gave you a wonderful life, Georgia.

Don't give him all the credit.

We built that saddle company together.

- He was lovely. - He was a prince.

Unlike my scoundrel of an ex.

Screw him and the horse he rode in on.

I'm ashamed to say it might have been on one of our saddles.

I just love our little gatherings.

So, Marly is getting ready for her first baby?

And you got one marching down the aisle soon, Edith.

June 7.

Don't you forget it.

What?

What?

- Well? - Well, what?

Come on, Georgia, how's Leah?

How's my drink, Tilda?

Of course.

Excuse me.

Hi.

You, yeah.

Um hi, could I get a Baby Free.

Hmm?

Could...

Could I get a Baby Free?

A what?

A Baby Free.

What is that?

Could I get into this box, please?

I see you.

- Nice. - Okay.

- Do you have the key? - No, I don't. Uh...

I gotta get my manager for that.

Great, that'd be great.

Scarlett?

Scarlett?

What do you need Scarlett for?

Oh, she needs the Baby Free.

Oh.

That's me.

Yeah, I don't know where she's at.

No, me neither.

Well, could you call her, please.

- Oh, yeah. - Totally.

Hey, Scarlett,

got a customer that needs a Baby Free.

Can you bring up the safe sex keys for the Baby Free?

Scarlett?

It'll just be a couple of minutes.

Yeah.

Scarlett, she's in a hurry.

We gotta get the Baby Free out.

Hey, baby!

- Hi. - What's the brand you prefer?

Um I don't know if I heard correctly,

but I think she might need the Baby Free.

And I'll do the box of extra- long Platinum Ultra-Guards.

Certainly.

You can't wield a sword without a shield, now, can we?

- Uh, no. - Straight facts.

Scarlett, please.

- Oh. - Hi.

So, do you like, party, or...?

Oh my God.

Mm-hmm.

So helpful.

Congrats.

Thank you.

I'm single if you wanna hang.

I bet he's got weak swimmers.

I'll bet he doesn't.

I took Baby Free once.

Felt like I shot a cannonball from my lady bottom.

Oh, God.

God, you know, the things men will never understand.

Let's egg Buzz's car and then get you back out there.

Okay, yeah, no.

Let's just wait until after my ovaries are done arguing

like my parents used to.

- Okay. - Okay.

Babe, you should really come out tonight.

I'm meeting Ben Number 3 at that place with the sticky floors.

The sticky floors?

- Yeah. - Wow.

No, I won't be there.

He has friends.

Good for Ben Number 3.

I mean, when was the last time you went out?

Like, actually out, out?

I was just out with you the other day.

No, it's been like four months.

Okay, okay, you know what?

Maybe I'll come tonight.

- Liar. - Yeah.

Margaret, can you leave the rent check

on the counter in the morning, please?

Margaret?

Margret?

Oh, no.

I'm not moving in with you.

Did she get deported?

Is she from Canada?

I don't know, I literally never talk to her.

I don't speak to her either, clearly.

She misspelled opportunity.

And then she just left?

Yeah, she just left.

And our rent is due on Thursday, so...

How about her security deposit?

No, Mr. Smith already let us dip into that last month.

Also, he keeps asking when you'll be back, by the way.

Just get a new roommate, that's easy.

Easy? Do you know how much effort it takes

to find a sane roommate?

How about that Craigslist thingie?

Oh, that's so depressing.

What?

What's the matter with you?

Let's see, Buzz dumped me.

After he admitted that the condom broke, so.

Well, you're on the pill, aren't you?

No.

No, I haven't been on the pill.

Not since I gained 30 pounds of water weight

and Veronica Summers told me I looked like a bean bag chair.

- That's incredibly stupid. - Okay.

Besides, the right guy is gonna like you

no matter what shape you are.

News flash, love, it's extinct.

It is, it's like dial-up and the dodo bird, okay?

Do you know how marriage began?

I can tell you, marriage began by fathers trading

their daughters for the fattest pig in the county fair.

That was marriage back then.

Now, now, it is just, it is a freaking desert,

I'm telling you.

You know who survived the desert.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, Him.

I mean, after it was over, He went home for a minute,

but then He went right back out into the world.

Mm-hm. And, Gigi, did you read the rest of the story?

Because I hate to break it to you,

things didn't work out too well for Him in the end.

Well, he had a big following.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I think 40's a good number.

What, 40?

What's happening?

I'll tell you what-- I have an idea.

- Oh, God. - Okay.

You go on 40 dates

outside your apartment.

And if, after that, you have found a guy

who's totally a keeper,

I will pay your rent for a year.

Okay, or you could just loan me the money,

and I'll pay you back in interest.

No, we're not gonna do that.

You're gonna have to earn it this time.

I'm not baling you out again.

And no doubling up on these guys.

And no hanky-panky.

No hanky-panky?

- That's right. - No...?

And I guarantee you that at the end of 40 days

and 40 nights,

you will have found somebody so special

that he will have you running every red light in town

just to get a kiss.

Mm. Wow.

Okay, and then what happens, you know,

if I find my true love by date one?

Why go on 39 more?

Because it's not the deal.

You realize I'm only gonna be proving to you

that men suck?

Is it a yes?

Wow.

You can sleep on it.

No, yeah, I-I should sleep on it.

Mm-hmm.

Otherwise, there's the county fair.

Okay.

Your grandma's literally trying to pimp you out.

Yeah, she thinks I'm a hermit.

Well, you're on your way there.

I mean, at least I can pay for rent with that.

I mean, all you gotta do is swipe right on 40 randos,

be nice, and then boom.

You're pimped.

Do you wanna know the real kicker?

What?

I have to abstain.

- Ugh. Ew. - I know.

And, like, what if I meet a sociopath?

I dated a sociopath once.

Oh my God, that's right.

- Crazy Pete. - Crazy Pete.

Oh, he was sweet.

Hey, when's the last time

you really put yourself into something?

I put myself in the car every morning when I go to work.

I do.

Okay, hey, don't take this the wrong way,

but you don't really have a thing right now.

Yeah, I know. We get it, I'm single.

Even I'm trying a new thing.

- What? You have a thing? - Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me that you had a new thing?

I go again tonight. You wanna come?

Prove to Geege you're not living under a rock.

White wine or tequila?

Girl.

Water.

- Yeah, okay. - Okay.

Straight legs, straight legs, gorgeous.

Anna, not like that.

No.

Clench ladies, clench.

- Turn, spin. - I'm gonna kill her.

B?

I thought you were joking.

You should chug that.

Welcome back, Bianca!

And who's your friend?

Oh, Leah, yes, very new.

Aerial virgin. Welcome.

I am Mavis.

Okay, let's pop that cherry.

- Let's pop that cherry. - Yeah, marvelous!

Oh.

Do you not remember?

I literally had to take a special gym class

because my upper body strength was so bad.

Veronica Summers used to throw kickballs at me

and make me fall off the climbing rope.

Love, we should really unpack this with a professional.

Okay, ladies, once you are done stretching,

we'll get to climbing.

If either of you are on a juice cleanse or a detox,

please use the bathroom first before you...

We just got the mats cleaned.

- Oh my God. - Okay.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

No problem.

Hey, you're stronger than you were in high school!

You got it.

- Like that? - Yeah.

Just see yourself at the top of it.

You visualize.

- I'm just gonna run. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

At least you left the house yesterday.

I leave the house.

Yeah, for morning-after pills.

You know, her terms are completely insane.

It's like, no sex? You can't even buy a car

without driving it around the block first.

I don't know, maybe I'll do it with you.

No, really, I'll swear off sex if you do it too.

It'll be a good test for the Bens.

Wait, you would, you would really wait for me?

Not for you, with you.

Why can't we just be in love together?

Because my lower half doesn't want your lower half.

Okay.

- Scratch it. - Okay, okay.

You don't really have a thing right now.

Oh, God.

My eyes don't allow for this game.

But your liver spots are glowing.

Oh.

When do these dates start?

Tonight.

You're not worried about her going out

with all these strangers?

Ooh, what if she meets a murderer?

Well, then I'm coming off the hook for the rent.

Have a little faith, girls.

Cheers.

This is great. I'm so glad we're doing this.

I'm so glad you said yes to this.

Me too.

Have you been here before?

I've never been here before, have you?

I have, it's really, the bruschetta, actually.

That's amazing, we should get that.

- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

I always say if I could suffocate on that,

it would be a very painless death.

- That was a joke. - No, I know, you're very funny.

Oh, okay.

- Thank you. - Yeah, let's just, uh.

See what we're working...

- Ooh. Oh my God. - Okay.

Uh, bruschetta, right?

Bruschetta, yeah. Or "broo-sketta."

- Yeah. - What?

- Nothing. - Oh, okay.

- You look beautiful. - Should we-- Thank you.

Should we do the bruschetta and then--

I just wanna like, I just wanna look at you for a second.

Okay.

I'm sorry, are you cool if we go Dutch?

Dutch, as in the pancakes or split?

Split it.

- Just 'cause I... - Right.

Is that bad?

- Is that, that's bad, - No.

- That's bad, I'm sorry. - Mm-mm, mm-mm.

It's just the apps are, like, 12 bucks.

And I didn't even look at the entrees yet.

- And, uh... - Yeah, let's split it.

- Would you like another? - Yes, please.

Just give that to me. Thank you so much.

Are you gonna drink like that?

We should get a bottle if that's the case.

- I'd love a bottle. - Cheaper.

You know what else I'd love?

Let's take a photo.

Oh?

Yeah, great.

That's amazing.

Stirred, not shaken.

Why was I shaken, just...

Well, bless your heart, honey.

That's not gonna do.

- What happened? - Refill?

Oh, yes.

You know, Italian food's the best.

It sure is.

Do you know what else is the best?

Wine.

It pairs great with more wine.

You're back?

I am back, yes.

Oh...

Thank you.

Hoo.

Okay, so, how do you know Ben?

Well, we were actually roommates for a while.

And then he wanted to get a dog.

I love dogs.

And I'm just not an animal person.

Oh, yeah, right. Allergies, yeah.

You know, I get allergies too.

Yeah, I'm not allergic, I don't like animals.

You don't like any animals?

Are you a psychopath or something?

I'm working on my business, that's my focus.

Your business-- what is your business?

It's actually edible arrangements,

but it's got a twist.

Okay, so, a twist with fruit or...?

No, they have that, it's various assortments of potatoes.

- Wow. - Right?

It just hit me.

Yeah.

- Of course. - They have the fruit.

Yeah, they have that.

- Right. - Not the potatoes.

- No. - No. Could we take a photo?

- I guess. - Mm-hmm.

That's great. That's all I need.

Can I take another?

- You... - I think I messed it up.

No, you, okay, I don't really care.

Just say tater tot on three.

Tater tot.

And this is Lyle during Halloween.

He's a little dragon.

I love it he's gonna keep me safe forever.

First birthday, had a seven-layer dip.

Finished it like that.

- Wow. - Okay, he's a unicorn.

- Yes. - He identifies as a unicorn.

And you can't call him anything else

- 'cause he doesn't like that. - Got it.

It's Lyle, look at that tongue.

And then, St. Patty's,

we were just knocking them back like that.

Like, he couldn't hold his liquor, though.

He threw up a little bit.

This is Valentine's Day.

It's my sexy little beast.

I'm surrounded by pussy, you know.

- Get it? - Oh, I get it, get it.

Cats, pussy, surrounded?

Oh, Count Catula?

Get it?

Because he's...

Yes,

He's beautiful.

Then there's my bro Jonathan.

He thought it'd be a good idea to have a meeting

that could have just been an email,

just to distract Timothy from making his second-quarter quota.

You know what second quarter is, right?

I've gotta go.

No, you need to listen to me, okay?

Here's my problem.

I feel like everybody...

- What? - Okay.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Wow, that's fast.

You know, you remind me of my ex-wife,

except she had, you know, smaller boobies.

So, what made you swipe right, huh?

I just felt like your personality

is gonna be great.

Oh, boy.

Can I get another one, please?

I have to go.

You know my vibrator overheated last night.

I had to stick it in the fridge.

Wait, are we allowed to be using those?

- I am. - Shit.

You know, you should just take 20 pictures

with some random guys here and send them to Geege.

No, mm-mm, mm-mm, no.

I might be horny but I do not, I do not play dirty.

Okay.

Date number 20, what's his name?

- Who cares, doesn't matter. - I don't care.

- Doesn't matter. - I don't care.

Do you wanna climb tonight?

You can take out all this frustration on your forearms.

Yeah.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Listen, it kind of feels like leaved being tied up.

Oh God.

- Okay, we have a meeting. - That needs to stop, okay.

- All right. - Love you, bye.

Oh.

Hey, so sorry I'm late.

How'd you know I'm your date?

Funny thing happened,

I walked in, and the waiter pointed right at you.

Do I know you from somewhere?

No.

- Are you sure? - Positive.

- Huh. - Weird.

- I think I do. - You don't.

- Leah. - Steven.

Oh, but you two definitely know each other.

Yeah, no, we go way back.

About 20 dates.

- Starters? - That would be great.

Could we please get the "broo-sketta"?

Yes.

You've been here before?

Yes, it's very good.

And the little numbers on the side of the dishes,

they don't, they don't scare you?

The prices?

No, prices don't scare me.

What about clowns?

They're only allowed in the bedroom.

There she is.

Aw, I didn't know you could smile.

Wine, please, Steven.

- Got it. - Thank you, Steven.

Yes.

So, what's wrong with you?

You go on dates with men

just to figure out what's wrong with them?

No.

That sounded like a yes.

Well, it came out as a no.

Who hurt you as a child?

God, physically or emotionally?

Pick one.

Hands down, Veronica Summers.

Well, screw Veronica Summers.

- Yes. - Right?

Finally, somebody agrees with me.

Totally, yes.

- She's the worst. - The worst.

- You hate her? - Yeah, already.

- Okay, that's good. - Yeah.

What do you do?

Um...

I own a marketing company.

We specialize in 3D animation models.

So, that's your thing?

My thing?

Yeah, you know, your passion, your... thing.

No, no, I wouldn't say it's my passion.

It's just what I do.

So, you don't have a thing either?

I've got lots of things.

It's just marketing is not one of them.

Cool.

So, what about family?

What about them?

First date question, I don't know.

Okay, weird.

My mom's a workaholic. I see her sometimes.

Not really, I don't see her at all.

My Dad moved to Florida years ago,

with his, like, third wife.

And it's pretty much just me and my grandma here, Gigi.

Gigi?

Gigi.

Do you have any friends?

Excuse me?

I just...

Sorry, you just seem kind of lonely.

Lonely? Wow.

Okay, says the single 28-year-old man.

What does my age have to do with anything?

No, no, nothing, nothing.

Just that most men your age are taken by now.

They're not going on blind dating apps

and stockpiling condoms.

Baby Free Girl.

Oh my God, you're Baby Free Girl.

Okay, you can piss off now!

- Wow, aren't you a peach. - I am.

That's very nice.

- You're very nice. - Are we ready?

No, no, Steven, I'm sorry, we're not ready.

- Well, dessert? - No, Steven.

Um, I think I hit a nerve.

- You think? - Yeah, I do.

So, I'm gonna get out of here. Got an early workday anyway.

'Cause he has a thing.

Enjoy the "broo-sketta,"

and I hope you find your thing one day.

- Thank you. - Have a good night.

Geez, I mean, what a dick.

Did you hear what he said? Bruschetta, "broo-sketta."

"Broo-sketta."

- Love? - Yeah.

What are you getting out of all this?

Is free rent a good enough answer?

In this economy, my inclination is yes.

What are you really getting out of it?

Steven, do you have a thing?

Last time I checked, yes.

But it doesn't swing in your direction.

Shame, but not what I meant.

Listen, everybody has a thing.

Hey, date 20 was a bust.

Where are you?

Coming up at Jawbone, we have some new faces,

along with folks we know and love.

- What's up, bro? - Dude, thought you had a date.

I did, she was a trip. Do not ask.

I need a drink.

Yeah, hey, can we get two drinks, please?

- Hey. - Hey.

- That's for you. - Ooh, love you.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Those are for you.

All right, I gotta catch up.

- You know I'm gonna ask. - Mm-mm.

It was so bad, don't ask.

Okay, what are we doing here?

Okay, well, you followed me here.

Right.

I'm here supporting Ben Number 2's poetry project.

Oh, and Ben is gonna be with us tonight.

- Oh my God, is that him? - Yeah.

- Stick around. - Hi, Ben.

Hi.

So, what's the event tonight?

Um, my coworker said that it's open mic.

A scattered wind drifts across.

Autumn prepped to sing her song.

Such a strong song.

Have you heard this stuff before, or first time?

- First time. - Right. Got it.

...for Eve's bite.

She takes a bite. Haummm...!

Juicy.

- Eve is just as juicy... - Mm-mm.

Yeah, I thought he meant, um,

stand-up. - Mm-mm.

Adam's got beef. - Shh.

God's got beef. - You can't laugh.

- Sorry. - 'Cause you're in trouble.

I thought it was supposed to be funny.

The girls are mad.

The boys are mad.

God, wow, it's terrible.

And it's Eve's fault that we learned to sew.

- Now, it's winter. - Oh my God.

- She's here. - Oh my God.

- What? - The guy from my date.

- The guy. - Thanks for nothing, Eve.

Don't look. We're not looking.

- Who's here? - My date is here.

- How is that possible? - Where?

She's right down the bar.

That's insane.

Bro, she's hot.

Doesn't matter, she's crazy.

- Was it really that bad? - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.

- It was bad. A douche. - Ugh.

- Okay. - What's happening?

Okay, I'm gonna go over there.

- Oh. - Yeah.

I don't think that's a good idea.

No, I'm gonna go over there.

Don't worry, watch this.

Oh, she's coming.

Ah, crap.

- Hey. - Hi.

Is this your bedtime routine? Bad poetry and bar nuts?

How did you find me?

Oh, please, I didn't find you. Don't flatter yourself.

Do you have a vendetta against happiness?

No, actually, I love happiness. I breathe happiness.

Careful, bro, this one bites.

- Hi. - Hello.

You know who you remind me of?

You remind me of the kind of guy that small little kids run from,

- screaming. - No, no, no, no, no.

See, they run to me because you stole their candy

- and made them cry. - Funny.

By the way, you have some self-tanner left on your hands.

I don't use self-tanner.

Then why did you just look?

- You're childish. - You're childish.

- Oh my God. - Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Hi, hello, would you like an autograph or something?

Um... I'm Matt.

Mm. And I'm mad.

- Okay. - Okay.

You've got your hands full, buddy.

That right there is why I left.

Oh my God, don't even listen to him.

I just wanna hang out with my friend.

Yeah, okay, so, do I. See-- see her over there?

Yeah, hi. That's my bestie.

Oh, so you do have friends?

Yeah, I have plenty of friends,

and I actually don't really know why you care.

Hundreds, thousands, could fit them all in a yearbook.

I bet two people signed your yearbook:

one of them was your mom,

and one of them was your school guidance counselor.

What is wrong with you?

I don't know, plenty, apparently.

- Bye, Matt. - Bye.

That went well.

Unbelievable.

I like her.

So, number 20 was that bad, huh?

Mm-hmm, I owe that guy a new shirt.

Mm.

You got 21 lined up?

Uh-huh, I'm cleansing so I'm ready, you know?

Mm.

What about you?

You have any hot dates coming up?

As a matter of fact, I do.

His name is Frank, and I met him at swim class.

Okay, Frank, tell me more.

Well, he's deaf in one eye and blind in the other.

But other than that, he's fit as a fiddle.

Okay, changing my mind about Frank.

he sounds like a stray cat.

- Where are you going? - Well, I have to meet B.

Oh, how is the fire queen?

Okay, can you stop that.

I'm just saying, y'all out there on the porch

smoking a joint and almost burnt it down.

I know, and I've apologized many times.

- Just saying. - It was the joint. It wasn't me.

Okay, where are you going?

- Silks class. - Oh, oh!

Oh, that curtainy thing?

Yeah, yeah, you flip and stuff.

No kidding, can you flip?

No, no, I can't flip.

I'm just trying to get my feet off the mat.

That's, like, hard, but I'm doing it, you know?

It's a thing, and it's good, and I like it.

- Well, it's a goal. - It's a goal, it's a thing.

- Flipping. - Flipping.

I'm getting more flexible.

- Yeah, look at you. - Ow.

- I'm really sore. - God, you need help.

- Okay, I love you. - Bye, honey.

I'll see you.

Leah, remember, grip, step, step.

Like an inchworm ascending her destiny.

Right.

Hey, Leah, maybe you'll find love at the top.

Okay, I got this.

Veronica Summers can suck my dick.

It's okay.

Keep going, keep going.

Fudge it, oh shit.

Oh, oh, oh.

- Ow. - Are you okay?

Yeah, she's fine here.

Hey, Leah, wanna go to drag brunch?

Mimosas?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't like being fed like a baby.

Okay, no. That's okay.

- But my mother likes it. - Good for her.

Oh, oh.

Oh God, oh. Oh, okay, okay.

Okay.

That was weird. So, that's unfortunate.

Okay.

Oh, oh, I don't...

Holy shit!

- Oh. - Oh.

- Sorry, I'm so sorry. - I'm so...

- Great. - You again.

Wow, I'm really happy to see you getting the help that you need.

Are you lost? The children's section's that way.

Very funny.

You know I actually had to get that shirt dry cleaned,

so that'll be 40 bucks if you wanted to make it up to me.

I will, when you apologize.

Me apologize? No, no, no, no.

It wasn't me that was making us both miserable that night.

Look, Mason, I...

Veronica Summers.

Is that like your alter ego?

No, it's mine.

Leah Jones, as I live and breathe.

And look,

you finally filled out your training bra. Cute.

- Thank you. - Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie...

Veronica Summers?

In another life.

When Leah and I went to high school together.

Oh.

Oh, sure.

Well, at least it's not those weird comic books

you read backwards.

It's manga. You're-- you're referring to manga,

but... you knew that.

Hey, I like manga.

You know, Leah used to get in trouble all the time

for drawing her goofy little characters

instead of paying attention in class.

Well, I mean-- You know.

You totally broke the stereotypes.

Because most nerds, they make good grades.

Except my brother always said he always used to see you

in summer school.

Yeah, well, you know,

your brother and I had a lot in common, Ronnie.

- Did you? - Mm-hmm.

See, I don't recall my brother catching our daddy

in bed with his secretary.

- Whoa. - Oh, wow.

- Okay. - That's a bit much.

Oh, I'm just playing.

She and I banter like this all the time, don't we?

Yeah, yes, I've missed it.

Don't worry.

By the way, you two make a perfect couple,

so just best of luck.

Yes, and namaste.

Oh.

They should move that.

She's so cute, isn't she?

Hm.

I thought Veronica Summers

moved to like Australia or something?

Oh, yeah, well, she moved back, apparently.

- Ugh. - Yeah, I know.

Well, as much as I love to trash Veronica Summers...

Me too.

...I sort of came here for some trash reality TV.

Whoa.

- Okay, blast from the past. - I know.

- What is this? - I'm on one today.

Ohh.

Wow.

I don't know why you ever stopped.

These are good.

I don't know, I think it was after my mom left, you know?

I just sort of started freezing in class.

I hate she did that to you.

I hate it too.

- Leah... - I know.

You don't have to say it.

It's not high school anymore.

Yeah.

I need a really good dress for tonight.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Like a really good one.

That's my girl.

I'm thinking like a little side boob.

- I love side boobs. - Not too much.

- Just a little... - A tasteful side boob.

- Tasteful side boob. - Yeah.

- Classy, slutty side boob. - Hot.

Thank you.

- Hey. - Yes.

This is good.

Thank you.

Lucky number 26?

You've been counting too.

She's an artist, I see.

She is a doodler.

When I was a kid, I used to steal my sister's crop tops

and sing show tunes in the basement.

And when my dad caught me, you know what he did?

He bought me a pink karaoke machine for Christmas,

complete with a rhinestone microphone.

Hell yeah.

He never missed one recital.

It's okay to let people know you.

Holy shit.

Girl, even my panties are in a bind right now.

- Goodbye. - Welcome!

Hi, I'm Jackson, Frank's grandson.

Leah, Gigi's granddaughter.

Can we have two glasses of Veuve to start.

Hope that's okay.

I like to kick dinner off with a little champagne.

Oh, no, that's more than okay.

I actually happen to be a huge advocate

for alcoholic appetizers, so.

Oh, I can already tell you're a load of fun.

Mm.

Oh, you have no idea.

Let's hope you can keep up.

Oh, challenge accepted.

Okay.

Where have you been all this time, Leah?

I think the question is more...

where have you been all this time?

Let's get some oysters goin', huh?

Absolutely.

Welcome to Bing Bop Toys.

Home of the talking teddy bears, how may I help...

You.

Hi.

I'm here to see Bailey Wakemore.

Who I just realized is your boss.

Yeah?

Yeah, wow.

Why are you here?

I'm just pitching a few ideas for our subsidiary.

Hm.

Nice tie.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

You can have a sit, uh, in that one.

Over there, not that one,

the one that's farthest from me.

- Oh, the furthest one, right. - Yeah.

Bailey know that you are so hospitable?

Look, all complaints are actually dropped

in the empty tampon box, which is right by the water fountain.

If you need an extra pen, let me know.

Nice.

- Might take you up on that. - Perfect.

- Psst. - Oh God.

Psst?

Psst?

- Leah? - Yeah.

Oh, you did hear, okay. Um.

I just wanted to say, the,

that thing Ronnie said to you,

at the bookstore the other day.

That was not cool.

In fact, beyond not cool. It was extremely mean.

So, I'm sorry that she said that to you.

I appreciate that. Thanks.

Yeah.

I didn't. Haven't thought about it since.

- But thank you. - Yeah.

You can send him

to the conference room now, Leah.

Well, well, that is your cue.

That's my cue.

Wait.

What?

Oh, God, okay.

Take off your tie.

- What? - Your tie, take it off.

Uh, why?

Because.

Because Bailey hates ties. Like, hates ties.

This isn't a prank?

Her dad was a funeral director,

so ties make her think about dead bodies.

- Dead bodies? - So, you--

That is so dark.

I know, well, look, I didn't choose her childhood.

Wow, okay.

- That's her life, so. - Feels like a prank, but okay.

- It's not a prank. - I'll go with it, yeah.

You want the job, or you don't want the job.

- Sure. - Okay, that's good.

- Choosing to trust you. - Yeah.

All right. Better?

Oh, no, oh God, okay.

Oh, thank you.

- Appreciate that. - Why would you button this too?

- Can you breathe in them? - Not while you're choking me.

- Okay. - Thank you.

- It's like you can breathe now. - Yeah.

Better?

No, yeah, no, it's better, it's good.

You look good, you look worthy.

Worthy?

Worthy for the job.

Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?

You know, who knows?

Mercury just fell out of retrograde.

- Really? - It came back.

The Saturn returned, I don't know. Go.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- Hey. - Hey.

Celebratory drink?

You sold the design?

I did.

What? Wait.

Wait, that means I sold the design.

How did you possibly sell the design?

Because if you had worn the tie, then you--

Oh, then I would have looked like a dead body.

- Yes. - Gotcha, yeah.

- Oh, this is really exciting. - This is great for us.

We should go get a celebratory drink.

What? Oh.

Yeah, no, I'm okay, thank you.

I don't really feel like being run over by your girlfriend.

- Girlfriend? - Yeah, Veronica.

Uh, no, she's old colleague.

I was getting a second opinion over coffee, that's all.

Oh, yeah.

She looked a little hot for a coffee.

Trust me, not a date.

Did she know that?

I would say that her wife was plenty aware of it.

Yeah.

Wait, so, do you think she was mean to me

because she thought I was pretty?

Definitely.

Holy shit.

- Yeah. - That changes everything.

It's wild, huh?

- Yeah. - Yeah, mind blown.

- So, a drink? - Oh.

- Not a date. - Not a date, just a whiskey.

Okay, good, yeah, 'cause I can't,

I can't go on another date with you.

That's fine, I can't date you either.

- What? - What?

Boheme at 5:15.

See you there.

So, why can't you go on another date with me?

If we wanna call it that.

Mm.

Come on, tell me.

Come on. Okay, okay, screw it.

My grandmother, Gigi, made a bet, if you will.

She bet me a large amount of money

that I could find love in 40 consecutive dates.

- No way. - Mm-hmm.

I'm one of your 40 dates!

Ha! Yeah. I mean, if you wanna call it that.

I do wanna call it that.

Wow. What number was I?

- 20. - 20? What are we on?

27.

- Damn! - Mm-hmm.

Whoa. Are you sleeping with any of these guys?

Wow, that is none of your business.

Valid, sorry about that.

Another round?

Um... yes, but...

Hm. 27's waiting.

- Shame. - Yeah.

Before you go, open that up.

Why?

Humor me.

I case you need an emergency call

in any of your terrible dates.

Feel free to hit me up.

I took drama in high school, so my fake crying

is actually pretty on point.

Oh. But boys don't cry.

Oh, they do, it's just, it's in the shower

where no one can see it.

Got it. How much?

No, no, no, don't worry about it, I got this.

- You sure? - Yeah.

- Not a date. - Not a date.

- Not a date. - Not a date.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Ah, yes, thank you.

Aw.

27 is in good hands.

How was lucky 27?

Oh, he was lucky all right.

Oh, he was lucky?

Yeah, he was, he was a photographer.

Mm-hmm.

Photographer.

- Question for you, though. - Yeah.

Would you take photos of used underwear?

Absolutely I would.

And I'll tell you all about it over lunch.

Oh, yay.

Did you draw that?

No, no, Mason, no. The little office elves

that run around here, they actually broke in last night,

they drew this.

Leah, that's really good.

Okay, thank you.

Lunch?

As in a date?

Aww. That's cute.

It was a good try.

So, pictures of underwear, like Fruit of the Loom?

Yeah, like who's even into that, you know?

- No idea. - I wear the cute kind.

Lots of cheek, lots of lace.

Leah Jones?

- Jackson, hi! - Hey.

Oh my God.

God, you look amazing.

Oh, no, I mean, I just, like, threw this on, so.

What's up, I'm Mason.

Oh, hey, yeah, Jackson.

Look, I had a really amazing time the other night.

I'm sorry I haven't texted.

I've just been slammed volunteering

with Frank's underprivileged children's reading program

and teaching night courses for first gen

non-English speakers with disabilities.

Oh, yeah, no, I mean, I, like, love languages, so.

Let's get together soon.

Sounds amazing.

- Amazing. - Amazing.

- I'll text you. - Okay.

Big dog.

Ohh.

Did you know that you have two voices?

Huh?

You have two voices-- normal voice, secretary voice.

You totally just used your secretary voice on him.

I did not.

- You 100% did. - No, I didn't.

- Yeah, you did. - Whatever.

- Besides, you can't date him. - And why not?

- He's not your guy. - Who says?

Let's just say that your chemistry is amazing.

Shut up.

- Amazing. - Stop.

He makes me flustered.

He gives me butterflies.

He does.

- Just saying. - Come on.

How many people have you been in love with?

- It's been a few. - Great.

And?

It didn't work out, obviously.

- Obviously. - Yeah.

Look at you.

It just wasn't right.

What?

What?

No.

- What? - No.

You were about to give me the whole "she wasn't the one" talk.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Yes.

See, I don't believe in the one.

I believe that love is part nature and part decision.

And it doesn't happen overnight.

It happens over long stretches of time.

Thank you.

God, I could kiss you right now. No one ever agrees with me.

Oh, shoot, I gotta go, lunch is up.

All right, yeah.

Um...

Do I, like, really have a secretary voice?

Yeah, you sure do, and it doesn't fit you.

It's entirely too pleasant.

God.

What up, bitch, I got fries.

Oh, wow, what's...

Okay.

I'm getting fired.

What?

Yeah, no, I'm getting fired today.

No, no, no, no. Whose laptop is that?

Bailey's.

That's fine.

It's not fine.

Because I had all of the new Bing Bop designs on there.

- Right. - And I didn't,

I didn't back it up. - Okay.

And, so, now, they're gonna be gone.

- And we present on Monday. - Oh.

- So. - Monday?

- It's just like... - Yeah.

Well, that's-- it's not Monday yet.

Okay, well, here's no, no,

no, no, here's the good news, you want the good news?

I'm gonna fix it. I'm gonna fix it.

- No, you're not. - Yes, I am.

- No, you're not. - I remember

what they look like really good, by the way.

Really cute.

I can do it, this is easy. I could--

Let me do this for you.

You don't remember what they look like.

Yeah.

Come on, when have I ever lied to you?

You lie to me, like, all the time.

What?

Oh, not on the fries, it's so bad for your skin.

Hey, hey, look at me, look at me.

You need to pull yourself together.

Okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay. That was crazy. - Yeah, that was wild.

That was crazy. Thank you.

I'm gonna fix it, though.

I'm sorry for lying in the past.

It's okay.

B?

Is that right?

Yeah.

Yeah, it looks great.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Okay, you're a lifesaver. - You're good,

you can breathe now.

Ah, crap!

Mason's coming over.

You owe that guy a shirt.

Thank you, you're my hero.

You are welcome.

- Hi, Bianca, good to see you. - Hi.

So, what, no date tonight?

No, already handled.

- Yikes. - Yeah, he was a real keeper.

Oof, that's a lot.

Yeah, what are you doing, where are you going?

I have to finish this proposal.

We were gonna watch a movie.

And I have errands to run.

- So, you're in charge. - Nice.

Before you go, I emailed you some ideas that I had

when I was working on the other Bing Bops.

So, I was just wondering if you could, like--

Okay.

I can show Bailey tomorrow.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Okay.

You two have fun.

Don't die.

Love you so much.

- Love you, bye. - It's good to see you.

What was that all about?

- It is Ouija board time. - No, it's not.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not.

- No. - Stay at my house...

I make the rules.

- I was put in charge. - So...

No, you weren't.

Yep.

- That's a lot to take in. - Mm-hmm.

That's an odd visual.

- Are we done? - Nope, can't stop staring.

Okay.

Ah, there's my little spy. I need a full report.

Well, there is a boy.

Oh.

I think it could really be something.

So, there's reason for hope?

She seems... different.

Well, I'm optimistic. How are you doing?

Me?

No, the other best friend.

Yes, you.

I'm fine.

You two are like peas in a pod.

How about dinner?

I just happen to have lasagna in the oven,

and I can't eat it by myself.

Yeah, yeah, I could eat.

Yeah.

Oh, Honeysuckle!

I could never live another day without you!

Every second of every minute of every day,

I think of your rose petal lips.

Oh, Angus, how you've swept me off my feet

like a one-bedroom farmhouse in a Kansas tornado!

- Kiss me! - So stupid.

Stupid? Are you mocking their love?

- Absolutely. - Why?

Because.

Come on, stuff like that doesn't happen in real life.

Yes, it does.

Wait, wait, wait, are you saying that with all these guys,

you've... what, you haven't got, like, a text back?

Oh, no, I've received texts back.

- You've gotten texts? - Plenty of texts.

We both know why I am dating so hard.

- So. - Thank you.

Pass it on to you.

Why are you?

I'm really not.

- Oh, come on. - I'm not.

Mr. Midday Condom Retrieval.

No, no, no, no, no, see,

those were not for me.

Those were for my buddy, Matt.

Matt?

Matt's real, you met him at the bar.

Matt's not old enough to buy his own condoms?

They were a gag gift.

It's for his birthday.

But I think your ex needed one.

Oh, no.

No, no, my ex had, he had plenty.

He actually kept them,

he kept them in a fishbowl of sorts by his bed.

This is a true story, I'm not messing with you.

This is terrible.

- I know. - That's terrible.

- Yeah, it's embarrassing. - Oh, wow.

Wow, he sounds great. Real genius, that one.

Yeah, yeah, your ex was-- she was a brain surgeon?

No.

And?

Just... just happened.

Oh, no, come on, there's always a moment.

What was it?

- Okay, funny story. - Oh.

I came home from work one day,

and she'd moved everything around.

In the kitchen, the pots, the pans,

plates, silverware, everything.

It was just like, I couldn't find any of my stuff.

No.

The plates were, like, on the top shelf.

Totally out of reach.

And it didn't bother me at the time, it really didn't.

But right after that, we had started

just having, like, problem after problem.

I just, I don't know, I just, it's the beginning of the end.

Anyway, like, three weeks later, she was gone, we had broken up.

And I put everything back the way that it was,

the way it was supposed to be.

Of course.

I guess, my question that I'm still kinda like

playing with my head is what,

like if she needed like a change,

why didn't she just talk to me about it, you know?

- Why not just ask me? - Yeah.

You wanna know something a little shitty, though?

I love shitty.

- Oh, you're in luck. - Okay, hit me.

I...

It only took me about three weeks...

to forget that she had ever lived with me.

- Oh, God. - God.

- That's really bad. - Terrible.

It's even worse when I said it out loud.

But she rearranged the pots, so.

- She was asking for it. - She did?

- She did. - She was asking for it.

- Yeah, she did do that. - Yeah.

You gotta tell me something.

- What? - Tell me something...

- Tell me something real. - Okay, okay, okay.

- Okay. - Come on.

For me, I just feel like it's been a series of people

letting me down.

Not just guys,

like, my mom and my dad

and just people in general.

Yeah.

And so, I feel like I sort of just...

retreated.

Yeah.

But the last few weeks, although insane,

I feel like I've caught my breath again.

Or at least I'm...

...breathing again.

Well, that's good.

- It's good to breathe. - You have to breathe.

I do.

I mean, I'd die without it, so.

Yes, you would.

I don't know if that just made any sense.

Totally does.

I don't know, I, okay.

I guess what I'm trying to say...

is I get it.

You know, in terms of us...

putting ourselves back out there.

Thanks for the ear.

Any time.

Whatcha doing?

- Don't move. - Okay.

Okay, if you move, then I can't play my game.

Okay.

How'd you sleep?

I slept really, really good.

Good.

Do not move.

Okay.

I'm gonna be so...

I'm so sorry.

- That was so close. - I got so excited.

Do you need coffee?

I would love some coffee.

Okay.

- Get up, then. - Okay.

Let me run to the bathroom.

Toothbrushes are under the sink.

- Is that a hint? - Yeah, you're disgusting.

Any, uh, big plans for the day?

- Here's your coffee. - Oh, thank you.

Uh, yeah, actually, I am gonna over to Gigi's.

Mm.

Gigi, yeah.

- Do you want cream cheese? - Cream cheese would be great.

- Am I in the way? - Mm-hmm.

Um... I'll take you.

No, you're fine, it's like all the way across town.

I'm just gonna Uber.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

- No, it's fine, I can take you. - You don't have to take me.

You don't have a car?

I-I do have a car.

Where's your car?

Um, it's in the shop.

- In the shop? - Yeah.

What happened to your car?

Um...

- Mm, that's good. - I know.

- There was a squirrel. - There was a squirrel?

So, I swerved.

- Oh, no. - Don't judge me.

I'm not judging you, I'm waiting for you to share.

And then I hit a lamp, but it's fine.

It's a squirrel, lamp, cool.

All righty, well, I'll take you.

Okay.

You'll like her.

- I'm excited to meet her. - She's kind of crazy.

- Who's not? - That's true.

- Hey, I got that. - What?

- Yeah. - I'm strong.

No, it's nothing, really.

- Okay. - No problem.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- It's beautiful. - I know.

I don't know why I can't move in.

Oh, good, I just made cookies!

Oh, since when do you bake?

Since you've been a very good girl.

So, last week?

Around then. Who is this?

Mason Davis, ma'am. Date number 20.

Oh, oh, so, you know about our little agreement?

I do, and I find it very refreshing.

Well, that means you have a good sense of humor.

Okay, this is nice.

Mason, thank you.

You can leave now, you don't have to stay.

- That's okay. - Actually,

it would be great if he could.

I have a very long list of to-dos,

and I could use a little muscle.

She's joking. You're joking.

- I'm not. - Just tell me what to do, Gigi.

I would love to tell you what to do.

This one's helpful, but she's a little slow.

- Slow? - I'm not slow.

- You coming? - Yeah, I'm coming.

How's that, right there?

Yeah, um...

No, that's crooked.

It's not crooked, it's perfect.

No, it's crooked.

It's not crooked, you're crooked.

Step back.

Look, just a little bit crooked.

Yeah, you're right, it's crooked.

What'd you say?

I think I said something along the lines of you were right,

and it was crooked.

There we go.

How's that? - It's much better.

- What? I said you were right. - I know.

You okay?

- Yeah, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm good.

I'm so sorry.

That's okay.

- I did try to get you up. - Yeah, you did try.

You're clumsy, though. Oh, I am a bit clumsy.

Mm.

Mason, I have more dates.

Yeah, right.

- That's right. - It's just the dates.

No, it's okay, yeah.

I understand, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Please, I don't, I don't want you to be mad, okay?

I'm not, no, I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm really not.

- It's okay. - Please, I'm...

I'm really just trying to get through these dates, and, uh,

I'm trying to figure it out.

- I know. - Trying to commit to it.

Yeah.

It's good. No, you should.

- Right. - It's okay.

It's okay.

Okay.

I should get going.

- It's all good. - Okay.

What am I doing?

Hey, it was really great to meet you, I'm headed out.

Oh, Mason, before you get away,

I have a little something for ya.

Oh, um, Gigi, I--

Listen...

Leah's wasted a lot of time on a lot of jackasses.

And you, my dear, are not a jackass.

Thank you.

And thank you for this.

I hope you come.

Hope so too.

A handsome man has just stepped out the door.

Yeah, yeah, no, I know.

Plenty of fish in the sea, as mom would say, right?

I thought we weren't talking about her anymore.

Yeah, but I really don't wanna be like my mom, Gigi.

I think I might have screwed up with her a little bit.

I don't know.

Maybe I was too harsh, or... little of this, little of that.

But you know, all any of us can do is

just to try as best we can.

But I think I got it right with you.

You think?

Even though I almost burnt the porch down that one time?

Baby, you could've burnt the whole house down,

and I'd still love you.

Thank you.

- Hey. - Hey.

Hi, sorry, wait.

I, uh, I got you something.

It's a bomb!

- Whoa. - Surprise!

- Thank you. - Yeah.

I also wanted to say that I am sorry for the other day.

You could have just texted.

Yeah, no, no, I could have, I could have just texted,

but a bomb is way more fun.

So much more fun.

- Yeah. - Yeah, entirely.

I'm also really sorry for not wrapping it.

It is wrapped, it's in a box.

- Sure, yeah. - It's perfect.

- Okay. - Thank you.

Well, you should go work.

- Gotta go work. - Yeah.

- You got this. - Grip, step, step.

Grip, step, step.

Grip, step, step.

Grip, step, step.

Yes.

- Okay, okay. - Grip, step, step.

Yeah.

Let's go, let's go, yeah!

Oh my gosh.

Oh, wow, I'm so high.

I'm so high.

- Oh my God! - Holy shit, how do I get down?

What do I, wait, what do I do?

- Slide down. - Okay, okay.

Just slide down.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Yes. - Just what?

Fall down?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, hold on, hold on.

- I'm coming down. - Like a waterfall.

Okay.

- You need to slide. - Slide, slide down.

- Slide down, okay? - Okay.

- Yes. - Okay.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Yes. - You got it.

Yes.

Okay.

Oh my God. Oh, oh.

You don't look so good.

Oh, no. Oh.

Oh God, oh.

I'm totally fine.

No, no, no, no, she's not, she's not okay.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm not gonna scream.

I'm gonna walk away slowly and cry in my car.

Okay, okay.

- Hey, Mason. - Uh, hey, um...

Have you seen Leah?

Oh.

I'm sorry I have to tell you this.

What happened?

It was a long night for all of us.

Bianca, please, just tell me what happened.

She's at Gigi's.

She's at Gigi's?

Yeah, she got some really gnarly food poisoning.

You made that sound so much worse than it was.

I know.

- Oh, you did that on purpose? - Mm-hmm.

- You're funny. - Yeah.

Wow, you got me. Um... Why aren't you with her?

Because I don't do well with vomit.

Okay.

But she's accepting visitors if you wanna cheer her up.

Good to know.

- Okay, I'll see you later. - Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Ah, crap!

- Hi, there. - Hey.

How can I help you?

I heard there's a sick girl here.

Yeah, yeah, she and Gigi have seen better days.

My grandpa's here helping out as well.

Very kind. Um...

If you could just give this to her.

That'd be great.

It's an inside joke, kind of...

It's really sweet.

Yeah.

And if you could let her know I came by, that'd be great.

Mason.

- Big dog. - Yeah, that's me.

- All right. - Yeah.

- Later. - Later.

Hey, how's the patient?

The patient is dead.

Some guy just brought this over.

Mark or something.

- Mason? - Yeah, him.

He a coworker?

Um...

No, no, he's number 20.

- Ow. - Number what?

Gigi and I made a deal,

that I would go on 40 consecutive dates

and prove to her that love is a sham.

This was a long time ago?

No, this was like a month ago.

So, I was one of your dates?

Mm-hmm.

You were going out with 39 other guys?

What?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It was more like in a row.

- In a row? - Yeah.

And trust me, it was not as easy as it sounds.

No, no, no, it takes a lot of stamina.

Stamina?

What were you doing with these guys?

Oh God, what weren't we doing?

I mean it was like nonstop, you know,

it was like all over the city.

This one guy, he took me to a church.

I-I-I can't hear any more.

What?

No, don't worry, we didn't make it inside.

You did it outside of a church?

No, I ran away once he took the blindfold off.

How else am I supposed to make rent?

You have a very messed-up relationship with your family.

Okay, I was just having fun.

With 40 other guys?

Geez, ow, yeah, and?

It's been nice knowing you.

Oh God, Leah.

Hey.

Hi.

You feeling better?

No, but I have a question.

- Okay. - Um...

What was in the bag?

Why?

It suffered a casualty.

Would you just tell me?

I'm curious,

but it was just bath bombs and stuff.

All the girl stuff the store could offer.

A bomb for a bomb.

Yeah.

It's funny.

I'm glad you think so, I did too.

Get some rest.

Text me later.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Okay.

Okay, thank you, I'll be right there.

What's going on, it's good?

Uh...

Bailey wants to see me.

Okay.

- In her office. - Good.

- Right now. - Good, yeah, this is good.

- Yeah. - That is good, right?

- Yeah, I think it's good. - Yeah, yeah, good news.

Yeah, no, I don't, I haven't done anything bad.

- You haven't done anything. - I don't think I have, I mean...

- No. - No.

- There, no. - No?

- No, it's fine. - You're fine.

Yeah, you're fine, no, no, no.

don't get worried about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't freak out, don't freak out.

- I don't even know. - Confidence. Yeah, you're good.

- Okay, stay there. - Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.

- I'll be right back. - Good.

- Good vibes, good vibes. - I'm fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, chill, chill.

I'm easy.

She loved my designs.

She wants to see more of my designs.

That's awesome. Congrats.

Congrats, Leah.

Ooh.

Well, what's up?

Look, I wanna give you a second chance.

A second chance?

You know, I'll admit that sleeping with 40 other men,

it throws me a little bit.

Jackson?

I've decided to look past that

'cause I see myself as a very forgiving person.

Jackson, um...

Yeah, not that it's any of your business,

but I wasn't sleeping with any of them.

- But you said-- - If you could stop, just stop.

It's not what I said.

It's what you thought of me.

And...

yeah, you don't really know me.

No, but I want to get to know you.

You check so many of my boxes.

I'll see you later, Jackson.

So, no?

That's a hell no, baby.

What?

- Oh. - Oh my God.

- Sorry. - I'm so sorry.

Oh, hey.

You know, we really gotta stop doing that.

We're gonna get hurt. - Yeah, seriously.

Did you just crawl out of the sewer or something?

No, this is-- this is my office.

Yeah, no, that makes more sense.

- Mason, were things weird-- - Do you remember...

what you said on our first date?

About having a thing?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that thing.

Have you found a thing?

I don't think that people can find a thing in a month.

So, Jackson is...?

Jackson?

- What? - No, Mason.

Jackson's not...

in the picture.

- He's not? - No.

Okay.

Okay.

Um...

Before I met you, I had, like,

a vague idea of what I wanted.

But, Leah, now, I wake up in the morning,

and you are the first thing that I think about.

Okay, um...

Mason, we can't.

We can't have this talk right now.

The dates?

Okay.

I get it.

I get it.

He was supposed to be here at 5:30.

- What time is it now? - 6:00.

Ah.

I think Mama got stood up.

I think you're right.

Tonight was date number 40, Steven.

Ohh.

You wouldn't wanna?

- To, oh...? - Yeah.

Well, I have been waiting for this moment

for the past 39 dates.

Best date yet.

Should we take a picture?

Oh, yes, and I came prepared.

- So, I'm just gonna, yep. - Oh.

Where has this been?

Special occasions.

- Here we go, ready? - Of course.

Men of a certain age.

And straight face for grandma.

There we go.

She's gonna want me to date you.

- I'm down. - What do we do?

We eat bruschetta.

And drink copious amounts of wine.

Deal.

We'll be right back to Murders, Murders, Murders.

There she is, my little angel,

home from her 40 dates.

- Hey. - How you feeling?

A month and a half older.

Did you cash your check?

No, I lost the bet.

What are you talking about?

You didn't lose the bet.

I didn't find anybody.

I think you might have lost your mind,

but you didn't lose the bet.

I did, it's okay.

- Leah? - What?

- Leah? - What?

Are you blind?

No.

Mason...

- I don't wanna-- - Mason is crazy about you.

Do you not see how he looks at you?

Do you not know what you look like when you look at him?

What if you found out that you could never see him again?

How would you feel then?

He's the keeper, honey.

He's the keeper.

Can I borrow your car?

Mm-hmm.

Sure.

- Okay, okay, okay. - Yeah, hurry up.

Oh, shoot, I think I might have forgotten to plug it in.

- What, again? - I'm old, okay? I forgot.

Just make a run for it. I love you, thank you.

I love you. I look fine, right?

Go!

God.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, excuse me, sorry.

Hi, sorry.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, okay.

Okay, I can do this.

Mason?

Come on, I know you're awake.

Please.

Okay, look, um...

God, if you could,

if you could just please just let me in, okay?

I would really like to see you.

And talk to you.

And, uh...

I also totally get it if you don't want that.

And that's so valid. But I...

Are you out of breath?

Yeah.

Why?

I can tell you about it if you let me in.

Hi.

Hello.

Come in.

Okay, uh...

I um, I lied.

I lied the other day, and I shouldn't have.

I shouldn't have done that, and I hate that I did.

And I know that I... that I have screwed up.

A couple of times. Um...

Do you have water?

- Water? Yeah, I have water. - Yeah, yeah.

- That would be great. - Yeah.

You kind of live far away.

- Here. - Okay.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm. Mm.

- Mm. - Mm-hmm.

Wow, it's really good.

- Really good, yeah. - Really good water.

Okay, um.

Okay.

Okay.

Here's the deal. I, uh...

- I really liked our date. - Yeah, okay.

No, don't laugh, I mean...

I'm being really serious right now, okay?

I really liked it.

And then...

And then you come, here you are, you know,

you're walking on in to... to work,

and my stomach does like this really weird thing

that I've like never, like I've never felt before.

And, um, you know what I've realized?

I've realized that I don't think,

like, at all, when I'm with you.

I just... I kind of exist.

And oh, okay, yeah, I'm done.

And then I... I just kind of melt.

And look, Mason, I know that it's...

Um... I know that it sounds like an excuse,

but I... I don't know,

I think I've just been so terrified of this feeling,

the truth is I, I'm just scared of it stopping.

And, um, God... um...

So, I guess, I'm trying to say that I wanna go on...

Oh, God, I wanna go on a date with you

and have it not be for, like, a bet.

That's, yeah, that's all.

That's why I've run here to you.

God, why didn't you do that sooner?

- Oh, shut up. - Well, you should have tried

- like to move me or something. - I tried.

What do you think?

I mean, this is silly.

- This is like all mine? - Yeah.

Like forever? They're not gonna take it down?

Unless you get fired.

That won't happen.

Wait, do I have to call you boss?

- No, ew, weird. - Okay.

Look at me. Me.

Leah Jones, junior designer.

Promoted looks really good on you.

Hey, I'm proud of you.

Thanks, B. I'm proud of you.

Okay, you've got...

What's going on with you?

- Me? - You've got some like--

I don't know, I'm like totally normal.

Oh my God.

Did you?

I don't know, maybe.

Who knows? I don't know, but...

Congratulations.

Yes, a pleasure, thank you so much. Make an appointment.

- Anytime. - Anytime.

In my office.

- See me in my office. - I'll see you in my office.

Oh, okay.

Hi.

- Okay. - This is the perfect cake.

I know.

- Good choice. - Kind of killed it.

Yeah.

- Can you fix my hair? - Okay, oh, yeah.

- Wow, kind of sexy. - You look great.

- I know, let's go in. - Let's talk about that later.

Okay.

- Hey, now. - What?

Make a wish, make a wish.

Okay, um, what is your purgatory?

What do you mean?

Well, you know, like mine's being trapped in,

like, an elevator with, like, endless Christmas music playing.

Okay, okay, I'm on board, um...

stuck upside down on a roller coaster.

Yeah, no, that'd be terrible.

- Right? - Yeah, really bad.

Awful.

Okay, your idea of heaven?

Endless tacos and no traffic.

Yeah, agreed.

You?

Thunderstorms. But like, on command.

- Oh, nice, just like... - Like I'm commanding them.

Yeah.

Just like heaven, nice, okay.

Okay, you should know this:

I have a fear of ants.

- Okay. - I don't like 'em.

- It's good to know. - Mm-hmm.

For me, it's clowns.

- What the hell? - I lied to you.

I knew it.

- I freaking knew that. - I totally did.

I totally lied to you. Sorry about that.

That's okay.

- Allergies? - Douchebags.

- Naturally. - Mm-hmm.

Dating apps?

Deleted.

Weeks ago.

Nice.

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