Original subtitles

It's said that the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

The other person always has more fun, less pain, more money, greater respect.

But is that grass really any greener? The only way you can find out is to jump

the fence and get down amongst it.

And why not?

After all, climbing the fence has got to be a lot easier than fixing up the

problems in your own backyard.

Or is that idea twisted?

How can I help you, sir?

Well, this turbulence will be good. We should be through it soon, sir.

Sure.

Gin and tonic, no ice.

It's a pleasure, sir.

We should be through it soon.

Your gin and soda, sir. No ice.

I'm sorry, what is this?

Your gin and soda, sir. No ice.

Unbelievable. I said gin and tonic.

Tonic? I'm going to print it up for you.

Gin and tonic.

What's your name?

Excuse me?

Your name?

Melody. Melody Christian.

Well, Miss Christian, don't make it sound like you're doing me a favour when

really it's just your glorified waitressing duty.

Can I help?

Oh, great. Let's get your big sister in on the air.

If there's anything I can do... Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. Listen, I only

fly your crummy little airline for one reason.

Mm-hm?

Bonus mileage.

So let's cut the Yankee crap and watch this. I want a gin and tonic, no ice.

Please.

Certainly, sir.

Working late?

Attempting to.

Is this seat free?

No seat on any airline's free.

Interesting.

Electronics.

On your way home to Sydney?

Melbourne.

Melbourne.

Jay Condor.

I'm a collector.

Harry Chisholm, Cybermind Computers International sales engineer.

Where are you seated?

7D. I needed to stretch the legs.

Wouldn't you stretch them better up there in first class?

And find some company.

So, you're a collector.

Debt collector?

Garbage collector?

No, I collect items.

Trinkets. Old-fashioned valuables.

Collectibles. Very nice.

You don't like flying, do you?

Nope.

Hell of a lot safer on Qantas than this bucket of nails.

Just don't know how to get a drink order right.

So tell me, who pays you to find things?

Usually people with more money than they know what to do with.

I've been looking for a Russian Tsar's bracelet for the past year.

To complete a set.

Wouldn't happen to have one.

Oh, not in this life.

You get a lot of work?

I pick and choose.

Very exclusive clients.

Well done, Miss Christian.

Very enticing.

Thank you.

I'm going to drink that stuff.

You'll get used to it.

Tell me, are you married?

She's beautiful.

Can't stand her. Keep the photo for business purposes.

Japanese love families.

We're only staying together because of Josh. Trying to avoid having a

dysfunctional kid and all that.

He must miss you. Me? No, my wallet.

Absolutely.

You certainly have a challenging life, Harry.

And there's perks.

Company pays for the travel.

I get to keep all the bonus mileage points.

Bonus mileage?

Oh, frequent flyer points.

I can go anywhere.

Where will you go?

Who cares? It's free.

Are you reasonably well off, Harry?

Excuse me?

I don't mean to be rude.

We can always use the few extra dollars, can't we?

Ah, I get it.

You're in network marketing.

Look, I might travel an economy. It doesn't mean that I'm in need of a few

extra dollars. I didn't intend to be... Let's just leave things the way they

are, shall we? You shuffle off back to first class and I'll stay here with the

business.

I'm sorry if I offended you. I've got work to do.

I'll leave you my card.

Sure.

Good luck, Harry.

You're as good a candidate as they come.

This button doesn't work.

Can I get some damn service?

Who's supposed to be getting me my drink?

He's been out for hours.

He's coming around.

You took quite a fall, Mr. Condor.

Can I help you back to your seat now, sir?

What?

Can I help you back to your seat now, sir?

Now, what did you call me?

Mr. Condor.

The name's Chisholm.

Harry Chisholm.

Your damned airline just scored itself a lawsuit.

Oh, take it easy, sir.

Are you on any medication, Mr. Condor?

It's Chisholm, Harry Chisholm.

I can assure you, you registered as Mr. J.

Condor.

Mr. Condor, we need to know, are you on any medication?

Sir?

They're off your head.

8, 9, 30, 31.

Can I help you?

Get out of my seat.

Excuse us, sir. We have a slight problem. Oh, yes, indeed we do.

This man is J. Condor. I'm telling you, he's a crook, and he's in my seat.

I don't understand.

That's it. Get the captain.

How did you get my clothes?

Condor, if you continue, I'm going to have to report you to airport security

when we land. Is there any way I can help? You can get out of my seat and my

suit and my face.

I'm Captain Onslow. Can I help?

Mr. Condor, this is not going to help.

We are about to land and I need you to sit down.

Mr. Condor!

You're as good a candidate as they come.

Can I take you back to your seat now, Mr. Condor?

Thanks, everybody.

Mr. Condor, you can come out now. We've landed.

Mr. Condor, open the door and we can help you.

We don't want to hurt you. Just open the door and let's talk.

I found my medication.

I sometimes lose all track of time on planes, and when I do, all hell breaks

loose.

You're okay?

I'm fine.

Really fine.

Sorry about the trouble.

Mr. Condor.

Sir. Sir. Mr. Condor. Sir.

I've collected your luggage, sir.

Difficult flight, sir. Let me take your bag.

Our transport, sir.

This way.

Where are we going?

Home, sir.

Home?

Home, sir.

I'll just take your luggage to your room, sir.

Good luck Harry.

You're as good a candidate as they come.

I had a visit this morning.

Detective Hudson said he wanted to speak to you. Do you know anything?

Good.

Because he'll be around here later with a warrant to examine the house.

Peace offering.

You wouldn't have a gin and tonic, would you?

Jay, I am leaving tomorrow.

The girls know this time we won't be back.

Does this phone actually work?

I can't take this anymore.

These mood swings.

Just when I think I've figured you out, wham, you change.

The girls and I will be staying here tonight, Jay, but that's it.

Okay.

The police will be here soon.

Just don't drag us into this.

Hello? Laura, it's Harry.

Who? Harry.

Harry who?

Harry, your husband.

Thank you, darling.

I'll handle this.

Harry?

Harry Chisholm.

Who's this?

Harry Chisholm.

The recently acquired Harry Chisholm. Gondor, what the hell's going on?

I had a life I didn't like.

You had one that was fractionally enticing.

So I swapped.

Please, there you get it.

I'm going to get you, you phony. Come on, Harry. I bet you were delighted when

you realized you had a new life. It's not over yet.

In fact, it is, Harry.

Vanessa's a blessing.

But I don't think you'd be spending very many nights with her. I'm coming around

there to kill you, Condor.

Terrible idea, Harry.

The police already want you for theft.

I've inherited all your bonus mileage.

I can go anywhere.

It's the card, isn't it?

It's a shocker.

I'm not the first.

No, I'm sorry, you're not the first, nor was I.

Why do I get the feeling you won't be the last?

I want my life back.

Can't help you there, Harry. No round trip.

We've got to move on.

And quickly, I'd imagine.

How?

Find your mirror image, Harry.

and offer the card.

Good luck. Stick on door.

What are you doing?

Jane.

I've always loved you.

Sorry.

I've got to go.

I've got to get to the airport.

Chauffeurs, there you are.

Right.

Let's go, let's go. Make it quick.

Quick. Everyone wants quick. Have you seen the traffic out there?

Yeah, let's help with the traffic.

Pretty thick.

Come on, come on.

I can try.

What I wouldn't do to toss money around like you guys.

Cost me a seatbelt.

That's your wife.

Girlfriend. Why?

She's beautiful.

Beautiful? Not to Chloe, you know what I mean.

Oh, yeah.

Where's Jay Condor?

You earn a good wage.

I do all right if I keep the mileage up.

Oh, man, the car.

I haven't introduced myself. My name is Jay Condor. I'm a collector.

Jay Condor, step out of the car.

Hands behind your head.

Right, Drew. Silence. Anything you say will be taken down and used against your

inhabitants.

It's been a long time coming, but it's worth the wait.

Cuff him.

Bastard. Huh?

Sorry about that, mate.

How much do you owe you?

Let's just call it even, shall we?

Officer?

Hey, what's this, man?

It's my taxi over there.

Hey, this is a mistake. Let me go.

What is this?

I'm a cab driver.

You're the wrong guy.