Original subtitles

ADULT MARK (V.O.): Halloween as a teenager...

Too old for trick-or-treating, too young for getting drunk.

What to do?

-Catwoman?

Barney?

Whatever happened to the classics?

Dracula, Frankenstein�s monster...

That�s his name, by the way.

Frankenstein�s the doctor.

-You�re too old to dress up.

I�m not dating a trick-or-treater.

-These MC Hammer pants are highly flammable.

You shouldn�t be selling those.

-You�re being MC Hammer? Cool.

-He�s not trick-or-treating.

-Me neither. I got a gig.

-On Halloween?

-Yep. Check this out.

My band sent our demo tape to the Strand Lounge,

and we got in!

We�re opening up on Halloween!

-You�re playing the Bat Dance?

That�s the biggest costume party in town.

-But you�re not 19. You can�t.

-But the other guys are.

If I don�t, they�ll kick me out of the band.

FOX: Just go. It�s dead easy to sneak in.

I go there all the time after work.

-You what? With who?

-Just some guys who work at the mall.

-Mall guys.

-I just have a Pepsi while I wait for my bus.

It�s no big deal.

-So, you�re in?

-Sneaking into a bar is a crime.

-Only if you get caught.

It�s Halloween. Just wear a costume.

It�s what you wanted.

[upbeat pop music]

?

? Ooh-la-la ?

-[French-Canadian accent] Hey.

See you after work?

-Yup.

-Cool. � plus!

? C�est toi ?

?

? C�est toi ?

RITCHE: That guy�s cool.

FOX: Stefan?

Yeah, he just moved here from Montreal.

He works at Le Ch�teau.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): A Frenchman with a job!

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

-Okay, you pack of rats.

This is our plan for the heist.

George Street.

Vegas of the East.

More booze joints per square inch

than any street this side of Vegas.

Our target...

The Strand Lounge.

Ritche. You show up for soundcheck.

The owner lets you in.

You�ll be our man on the inside.

-I dig it, daddy-o.

Sweet music.

-Foxy.

You distract the bouncers by flashin� those baby blues, dig?

-Like this?

-Save it for the show, kitty cat.

Michelangelo over here, he will supply us all with the fake IDs.

Anyone asks, you were born on January 1st, 1973.

-Say "cheese."

-Camembert. -[camera shutter clicks]

-Then I order the martinis.

This time tomorrow, gang,

we will be three sheets to the wind.

Who�s in?

?

?

Happy Halloween.

-Bonsoir.

I am French.

-[swoons]

-Foxy?

[pop music continues]

-I�m not a kid anymore.

I�ll take one fake ID, please.

?

-Okay.

Uh... $3.50.

-Frig�s sake, Mike. The boss is cuttin� throats!

-Calm down, Dick, b�y. What are you goin� on about?

-They just let Russel go.

-Russ? The young fella who hosts the overnight show?

-The boss says there�s no money no more,

so they�re goin� automated from 1:00 to 5:00!

-Automated? Like, computers? -Got a sec, Mike?

-Ah! -Frig!

-Uh, Mr. Bartlett, how can I help ya?

-I got a trip coming up to Carbonear.

How would you like to join me?

-Well, sir, it�s a busy week. I�ve gotta do

the marine forecast and the wind�s sou�west, so...

I�m sure it can wait.

-Good. I�m taking a hard look at all my assets.

I wanna get your eyes on a station out there, CHVO.

-Yes, sir, when do you wanna-?

-I�ll get the car out. I�ll meet you out front.

-It�s just a field trip, right?

-Could be. -Yeah.

-Or maybe he�s takin� the old dog out

for one last walk in the woods.

-Go away, you!

Jesus.

-Oh, God.

That�s funny. Well...

where�s my glasses?

-You�re wearing �em, dear.

Hm.

-Hm? Ah.

Well... how did they get there?

Hmm.

-I�m gonna pop down to Colemans and get some groceries.

How about you come with me, huh?

-I don�t need a babysitter.

I�m a grown man.

-Fine, I�ll go by myself.

Probably too old to help me anyway.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn�t say I couldn�t go.

-Oh.

-All right, fine.

But it�ll cost you.

-Ah.

-I want a tub of ice cream.

Walnut.

-Fine.

-Hmph. -Cool.

MARY: I like that one too.

-So, you see, Mike, I got a string of radio stations

right across the province.

CKCO, CKCM, CHCM,

they�re all spitting out the same quality programming

you hear on VOCM. It�s very cheap.

-Uh, that�s impressive, sir.

-Yeah. You know, Mike, life is like a car.

You gotta keep your foot on the gas, buddy.

Otherwise, they�ll pass ya.

And then the minute your foot comes off the gas,

the ones you passed, they�ll rear-end ya.

They will. They�ll rear-end ya.

It�s not right.

-Mr. Bartlett, sir, may I ask you

why you�re bringing me along?

-Well, I got big plans for you, Mike.

Two words: station manager.

Yes, you�re in the passing lane now, my friend.

Here, flick on the radio.

[radio static buzzes]

-Uh, we must be between stations.

-[knock on door] -[door opens]

-Whatever it is, the answer�s no.

-Do bouncers at The Strand really not check ID?

-It�s Halloween.

Yes, they�re gonna be checking everybody�s ID.

What are you at?

-Ritche�s band is playing and- -No.

There�s no way! No. I go to the Strand.

They know me.

I�m not gonna be embarrassed by...

"Max Speed," whose birthday is...

"classified"!

-Yeah, okay, but I- -No!

Okay? I�m serious. I�m taking this with me.

-[sighs]

[door closes]

[intriguing, sneaky music]

?

?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): I always wanted to be like my brother...

so why not just be him?

-Oh.

[car door closes]

Pop? Oh, jeez!

POP: Oh, oh, whoa.

Put the ice cream- put it on top of the bread.

Precious cargo.

-Did ya...? -What?

Jeez!

Christ, sakes alive!

All right...

There we go.

-Look, I was just securing the ice cream.

I wasn�t running for the border...

Mom!

[engine sputtering]

-[sighs]

Oh, come on.

[engine sputtering]

-You�ve run out of gas. -We�re not out of gas!

-[engine sputtering] -Come on, come on.

-Too much gas!

-There�s not too much-!

You have got enough cheek for two arses!

[engine sputtering]

-There you are. You�ve flooded it now!

-Argh!

[clears throat]

All right.

POP: Well...

Can you hurry up?

[car engine starts]

I mean... the ice cream�s gonna melt.

MARY: Woo, let�s give her a little...

POP: Jesus Christ.

?

-Look.

So, Mike, what do you think?

-Well, it�s just a shack next to the tower, sir.

It�s not much to look at.

-And she�s all yours!

-You mean, station manager here?

But this is just a repeater station, Mr. Bartlett.

Just swapping in local news for VOCM.

-Yes, and who knows the news better than Mike Critch?

-Well, uh, Carbonear�s a long way from home.

-Well, that�s why you�ll have to move.

-Uproot my family?

My boy is still in school.

My father, he�s not doing very well.

-I�m surprised, Mike.

I thought you�d appreciate this opportunity.

I mean, times are changing.

I need someone out here I can trust.

-Well...

-And you can live in company housing if you want,

but I get to choose where it is.

?

[thudding bass]

-Hey! Captain Newfoundland!

ADULT MARK (V.O.): A local TV station needed to fill time,

so they created a local superhero:

Captain Newfoundland!

Newfoundland�s answer to Captain America,

just without any supervillains or powers.

[laughter]

-You should�ve worn a mask.

He�s never gonna let you in like that.

-Stay close.

[tense music]

?

-Hey, Bull. What are ya at?

-She�s jammed, Fox. Go on in, b�y.

?

BOUNCER: ID?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): It was Halloween, and I was terrified.

[dramatic organ music]

[Mark muttering and breathing heavily]

-You got any ID?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): Showtime.

-Campbell? Is that you in there?

-Yep.

Mike Campbell. Magic 97.

Less talk, more music.

-I didn�t recognize you in there, b�y.

Have fun.

-Oh. Thanks, b�y.

BOUNCER: Next!

[upbeat rock music]

?

-Fox?

RITCHE: Hey! You made it in.

-Nothing to it. You?

-I just walked in carrying my guitar case

and nobody asked.

-Have you seen Fox? -She�s in line at the bar.

-At the what?!

Okay.

?

?

Can I get a rum and Coke? Hold the rum.

-So, you... want a Coke?

-Neat.

-Just order a drink, dummy. Everyone�s staring.

-Uh, uh...

Highball for me and a lowball for the lady.

Just two beers, thank you.

STEFAN: Hey, Fox! �a va?

-Bienvenue.

Je m�appelle Mark.

-Uh, this is Mark.

-Her boyfriend.

-Cool.

-Uh, nice costume.

-Oh, this is not a costume.

-Oh...

-Hey, but that reminds me...

I�m feeling devilish!

Like you.

[Fox and Stefan laugh]

[Mark chuckles awkwardly]

-Nuns.

[dramatic organ music]

Fox! Hide.

-Just chill out!

It�s Halloween, remember?

Come on.

RITCHE: Happy Halloween, people!

[crowd cheering]

RITCHE: One, two, three, four!

[playing grunge song]

? Pass me another cup of water ?

?

? I wanna drown ?

?

? I wanna drown ?

?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): None of this was going down easy.

-Can�t you go any faster?

The ice cream�s gonna melt!

-No, I can�t go any faster because we only have

one working gear. [sighs]

Maybe it�s time we sent this old girl to the junkyard.

Half this car is held together with duct tape

and the other half is rust.

[sighs]

-Maybe you should drag me off to the junkyard as you�re at it.

Get a two-for-one deal on the trade-in.

-Oh, you just settle down now.

-[clattering and sputtering] -Oh...

-Oh, dammit! Wha...?

-Oh, no.

[sighs]

-Well, we- we can�t just leave her!

I mean, there�s still a bit of life left in her.

-It�s her time, Pop.

Come on. [sighs]

[door shuts]

-Rest easy, old girl.

Uh... wha...

What about the ice cream?

-What?

-Ice cream!

-[sighs]

-? I�m shining through ?

?

? I�m shining through ?

? You ?

?

? You ?

-You want another one?

-Uh, yeah.

RITCHE: ? You ?

?

? I�m shining through... ?

-Hey. Two beers, please.

-Uh, Steven, was it?

-Uh, Stefan.

-Buying Fox a beer?

-Oh, you want one?

-No, no, I�m underage.

So is she.

And buying a beer for a kid is illegal.

Hate to see you get deported.

-I�m Qu�b�cois.

-Bon voyage.

-Kids.

?

-Where�d Stefan go?

-Oh, I think he had to go "Ch�teau."

I�m not sure. I don�t speak French, but, uh...

Would you like to dance?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): You�re only young once,

but you can stay immature forever.

-Good Lord. All the freaks are out!

-Oh...

let�s see if they�ll let us use the phone.

Yeah?

MARY: Ah... POP: [chuckles]

-Sorry to bother you...

-You�re a bit old for trick-or-treating, aren�t you?

POP: Wha... MARY: [gasps]

Rude!

-I can still see you.

-We don�t want candy! We just need to use your phone.

-And your freezer!

-What?

-What? It�s melting!

-Are you ready for the costume contest?

[crowd cheering]

-Um... robot. Right here!

[crowd cheering]

-So? -Wicked set. Yeah.

-Um, the ghost!

[crowd cheering]

-We should get out of here. We�re pushing our luck.

-I gotta pee. -Oh, come on!

-I had three Cokes! -Come on, let�s go.

EMCEE: Um...

Hey! Captain Newfoundland!

MARK: No, uh... really!

[crowd cheering]

MARK: Save yourselves! Go!

-Come on, let�s go!

-Who has the best costume, by applause?

Is it...

the ghost?

[scattered applause and cheering]

-Could it be... the robot?

[slightly louder applause and cheering]

-And what about... Captain Newfoundland?

[loud cheering and applause]

-I think we have a winner!

What�s your name?

-Uh, Mike Campbell.

-From the radio? Mike!

-You�re only as old as you feel.

And I feel terrible.

-Security.

-Look, I... please.

Okay.

-What�s your parents� number?

-I think there�s been a misunderstanding.

Well...

Nothing Sir John A can�t fix.

-I can call your parents or I can call the police.

-Oh, hey, Dad. Uh, it�s Mark.

I tried to sneak into a bar using my brother�s, uh, ID,

and I...

-Is this Mr. Critch?

This is Strand Lounge.

I need you to come pick up your son.

[dramatic organ music]

-[knocking] We just need to use the phone!

-And a spoon!

-I am gonna give you a treat, you frigger!

-Wha...?

MARY: I cannot believe...

[sighs] So rude!

-[giggles mischievously] -Wha...?

-Oh... oh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

-Oh... -[giggles]

-Right, here�s your trick...

ya cheap buggers!

Yeah! [laughs]

MARY: Woo-hoo-hoo!

Yes!

-Heh-heh. -You get it.

-Yeah, yeah, I got it.

[police siren whoops]

-What? -Oh!

-Oh, oh...

Oh...

OFFICER BUTT: Mary?

Pat!

-I feel dizzy... Where am I?

-Oh... oh! -I�m going down.

Ah... ah... oh!

[loud knock at door]

-That must be your dad.

[music thudding in background]

[door opens]

[music gets louder]

[door closes]

-How could you be so friggin� stupid?

Takin� my ID?

-Sorry, Mike, b�y. We could lose our liquor license.

-Yeah, no, of course, Paul.

Sorry, and, uh, you know what?

I�m gonna make sure that he never steps foot

in a bar again.

Come on. Let�s go. Mom and Dad are outside.

Come on. Come on!

Okay.

-Did you tell Dad? -What?

No. Why would I tell Dad?

He doesn�t need to know.

Hey, smart move pretending I was him.

-Thanks.

-I�m actually pretty impressed.

You know, I didn�t think you had it in ya.

-Really?

I guess I was tired of people seeing me as a little kid.

-Mark, you�re a lot of things.

Okay? A pain in the arse, for one.

Yeah. 100%.

-Okay...

-But I don�t see you as a kid.

-You think?

Then will you buy me a beer?

-Sure.

-I was joking!

ADULT MARK (V.O.): We�re always in a rush to grow up.

-Kinda.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): But once we�re old,

we�d give anything to feel like a kid again.

[both stifling laughter]

ADULT MARK (V.O.): There�ll be plenty of time

to feel the weight of adulthood.

[poignant music]

?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): Special moments should be savoured

like a fine wine.

Or your first beer.

?

?

?

[both chuckling]

?

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