Original subtitles

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[Music]

room 603 Straight

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Ahead you'll have a lovely view of the

station from here

yes I

remember I can never decide whether it's

very discret or just very snarky the way

you pretend you haven't brought me to

this room about a million

times either

way I won't be

back if I can be of any assistance

please ring for me

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[Music]

go

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[Applause]

hello

Tina thank

God no I

haven't well he's not due for an hour

and a

half you're downstairs

well absolutely come up

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oh come on in I'm just checking my

messages hi hello how are

you oh yes um can I have some Beluga

please 8 oz and shall we get champagne

why not do you have tender great that's

room 603 right away thank C what did you

get show me show me uh for you art and

decadence from neferti to Emily

Dickinson and we went to the Americana

auction at saes and I got the best deal

on a fireplace set I nabbed it for 1,400

signed James Davis Boston

1798 wait a minute wait a minute listen

to this the harpies are Servants of the

furies Airborne Pirates be fouling men

with their droppings they represent the

aspect of femaleness that clutches and

kills in order to feed itself that is

disgusting you know early American brass

has absolutely gone through the ceiling

Tina I'm getting a little nervous about

this nesting Instinct of yours I mean

buying things for your

apartment reeks of spinsterism you

should be investing in clothes while

you're single buy the housewares after

you get the wedding

ring I don't want a goddamn wedding ring

I like being single I like working I

don't understand this matrimonial

Obsession of yours how many happily

married couples do you know personally I

think you've got the perfect

relationship perfect he's terrified of

commitment they all are he lives 3,000

mil away I see him once a week at best

and I don't know what he's doing in the

meantime hey my dream made is Odus off

to the wars honey be back in 20 years

distance is an idesia oh well I'm sure

that it works for him poking every

little started in Los Angeles in between

visits to New York come on you don't

know that yes I do

I have the code to his message

machine

ooh Robert this is kimbar I was so worn

out I could hardly make it through my

audition you naughty naughty

boy so what are you going to do about

this I don't know come

in I'm going to tell him this is

obviously going nowhere and I don't

think he's going to marry me and I'm

sick of being a goddamn B Coastal

concubine for Christ's sake can you put

that over there you're actually going to

say the m word well that's sort of the

point isn't it I mean I'm not getting

any younger and I'm not going to keep my

looks forever plus my alimony Runs Out

in 2 years go ahead and

laugh you're not going to keep your

looks forever you better find a husband

while you still can't you know children

would be nice excuse me you almost

killed me you did that on purpose didn't

you you know I don't have to deal with

this I'm going to talk to the manager

it's all right it's all right don't

ridiculous thank you

hello hello I'd like to speak to the

manager pleas what do you mean he's not

no you can tell him to come to room 603

immediately thank you save your energy

for Robert darling come on let's

rehearse this thing okay dry run now I'm

Robert I've just walked in I take you in

my arms I kiss you right presumably he

kisses you n SP

wait that's it that's the problem it's

like sometimes Robert is sticking his

tongue down my throat and I want to say

please I mean kissing is so intimate you

know and it's like especially if you're

not really in love with a guy you

sometimes feel like saying all right

fine go ahead go on do your thing but do

not drool all over my face and suck my

tonsils out in the process really you're

wondering how soon can I get this guy

out of my apartment so I can catch

hero this can be such a bore someday

you're going to call us up raving about

this incredible New Sensation that

you've discovered and we're going to say

now you know what we've been talking

about all this time well it's not like I

haven't given it a chance God I'll say

oh the Virgin speaks I didn't mean just

you I mean I was saying I mean we've all

been around I was

just

God um have some caviar we don't want to

leave any for

Robert you know caviar still reminds me

of speed Davis used to send me those

Vats of beluga oh you're lucky he used

to send me his poetry and we talking

serious trible I didn't know you new

speed

how come all the actors I know are

suddenly writing bad

poetry probably the same reason they're

all wearing glasses they think it makes

them look

smart but we've got news for you

guys right so back to Robert do you kiss

him no I let him kiss me but I keep my

mouth shut good he notices then what

then then he tosses his hair with his

certain way that he has and um pushes

his hair back from his eyes not because

it's actually in his eyes but because

he's really proud of his hair and he

likes to call attention to it and it's

like this sort of um gesture he must

have seen in a movie or something and he

thinks it makes him look adorably about

how fetching I know he thinks

so so then he'll say so did uh somebody

die or is it just my breath and you'll

say I'll say Robert it's the fact that

you can come up with a line like that

that makes Mak me realize I just can't

go on with this anymore come on girls

really we've got to do this

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right I don't know

um I'm just going to tell him that we

fight too much and I don't think he

loves

me I know he's not ready to make a

commitment

and I'm tired of waiting do you love him

what if he offered to marry you right

now I consider it

even though you don't love him a serious

gesture like five or six carats of

high-grade carbon might rekindle my aror

but no seriously I would probably say

too late for you Buckaroo but wait

haven't you just been telling us all

along that reason that you're getting

rid of this guy is because he won't

marry

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you I get it there's someone else isn't

there all right right who is it

well let's just say that you'll both be

very welcome to visit us in

Southampton or

Aspen or

um Houston well Houston certainly

narrows it down well they're the Bass

Brothers but aren't they spoken for

they're Dallas not Houston well there's

Toby trout but isn't he gay he's gay

give

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Tom

Walsh I sat next to him at the Whitney

benefit

and we just started talking and the next

thing you know we were on a plane to

liford key these are really very

charming and he wants to have children

and he's arriving in tomorrow from

Asin what

what what is it

give at the auction this morning we ran

into Carrie saxs and she said that

everyone in Aspen was buzzing about the

fact

that go

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on supposedly Tom and Gina price flew

from Asen Torino and got married

yesterday

H Master

honey he was telling me last

week he was he was telling me last week

that he wanted me to have his children

GE honey I'm

sorry he was going to he was going to

take me to Houston to see his

mother and

um we were going to get married at

roundhill well obviously he was was in

the marrying

mode tinina price is already

rich what does she need him for

certainly that makes Robert a little

more

attractive Robert's still a jerk well

that's what Tina always

said said

what said

what are um are we talking about Robert

my Robert it was years ago before you

knew

him I didn't know you knew

Robert I sat there and introduced you

over

lunch at Prima Vera and uh you just

pretended like you'd never laid eyes on

each other I didn't want I just didn't

think that there was any

point I don't believe this it was

nothing virtually only well hardly more

than a one night stand years before you

knew him I didn't think it was a big

deal well obviously to you it it

wasn't oh that's probably the godamn

manager can you get the door please

sure Tina hello

Robert oh uh this is

Diane hi nice to meet you oh careful

Sasha is just freshening

up sorry about that night in Santa Fe oh

wait a minute I I was just going to

apologize no I shouldn't have left

without you I left without you wait a

minute wait you mean you dumped me and I

didn't even know it you bailed on me for

who uh who's on first guys you're really

something Robert you're both really

something Robert you're really

well the plane was early and um the car

was waiting and there's no traffic

coming in

so can I use the sure go right ahead

it's uh it's your

room uh time for a graceful exit could

you just stay just for a minute please

are you sure I don't think I'm ready for

this

yet he's actually quite attractive are

you sure you want to get rid of him I I

can't believe you've never met although

I'm very

grateful I think it's time we should

go 5

minutes

by so lucky

me three girls for the price of one I

wasn't aware that you've been paying for

my

services oh [ __ ] I didn't

mean let's let's start

again did I tell you about the hair it's

nice hair

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though Tina PRT what a surprise great to

see

you

Sasha it's somebody die or is it my

[Laughter]

breath you don't smoke since when do you

smoke I smoke sometimes when I'm in the

mood what mood might that

be it's a little chilly in here do we

leave a window open you know I think

it's time for Tina and Diane to leave no

they can stay for one glass of champagne

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Robert H yeah could you sign up another

bottle of champagne Robert makeing a

magnum yeah thank you right away please

we need to talk

Robert we'll talk over a glass of

champagne in vino

veras you lost weight H A little maybe

it's called

Bia so

Robert tell us about what you're working

on he's uh got a project with Mel and

Michelle Mel and Michelle

Kevin and Kim Winona and Johnny I didn't

know about Winona and

Johnny you know some clear mornings I

wake up say to myself you don't even

make movies you make deals Robert you're

very good at what you do stop acting

like the talent it's not very

becoming room

service hello Mr Neil hi come in come

here come

in just just put it right here this

woman practically took my eye out a few

minutes ago just leave it all over she

deliberately tried to Blind me I'll take

care of it I'll take care of it she

going be such a the service here is

appalling why don't we just have a glass

of champagne and calm down actually I've

got to go no are you sure yeah I'm

already late but um call me it's a new

number 555

2121 it's listed

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okay oh come

on I collect early American brass

absolutely gone through the room we find

a topic we could all get interested

in how about a toast

okay what should we drink till old times

that sounds good it Tina could you

please leave I would like to be alone

with

my with

Robert it is getting

late to L

Sasha to L so still The Barbers On yes

well we're finally

alone Sasha there's something I want to

say I do care about you but we seem to

fight all the time and I don't think I'm

ready to make a commitment and I know

you must be tired of waiting so I think

it's probably best if we stop seeing

each

other I don't believe this

[Music]

you are such a

bastard what is it is it Kima Kima the

bimba hello Robert this is Kimba I was

so worn out I could barely make it

through my audition you naughty

boy I'm

leaving what about the trip to St Barts

I'll keep the tickets take anyone you

want after all this time I think I

deserve an explanation this is pointless

what is it is it my tits I'm my it's too

small what is it well I'll tell you one

thing they're real 100% me 100% organic

which is a hell of a lot more than you

can say for most of your 19-year-old

starlets they're very nice what is it is

it sex what is it tell me you don't like

the way I

[ __ ] if you if you want me to do

something differently I'll do it that's

not it I'll do it what is it I'll change

it what is

it am I too old that's not

it that's it isn't

it that's

it you just want to be Peter

Pan sticking your little wand into the

pubescent Fountain of Eternal youth you

want to know why you really want to know

why I'll tell

you tell me you're not a nice person

you're a

[ __ ] you got it you want me to spell it

out for you you're not nice you're a

[ __ ] b as in as in bad I as in ego

Maniac t as in Terrorist and C as

[Applause]

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in you're not walking out on me you

bastard oh no

just watch me babe

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[Applause]

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oh my

god what have you done you know what he

called

me a

[ __ ] well

no but he was going to

uh uh call a

doctor uh

could somebody send a doctor to room

um 603

please

Sasha you really hurt me Robert

I hurt

you words can really hurt a

person words you said it wasn't

nice how can you say that I'm not a nice

person that was so incredibly

cruel sometimes you can be so

callous and you're about to use the c

word you know how I feel about that word

hey if I said anything that hurt your

feelings I'm

sorry I don't want to fight

anymore me

neither do you mind we're having a

private

conversation I'll go for help no no no

no no

would you just leave thank

you oh you

poor God you poor oh God do we have any

do we have any tile and all what time is

it what time is your screen

um I got to call Peggy

on