Original subtitles

No.

Welcome back to Last Week Tonight. I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for

joining us. It has been a busy week. The U.N. General Assembly took place, the

Lieutenant Governor of New Jersey resigned amid scandal, and in the

Senate, Tommy Tuberville spoke about what he considers a grave threat to

Americans. Many airline pilots, flight attendants, and air traffic

controllers are part of the furry community.

When you walk onto a commercial flight...

It's possible that the pilot flying your plane could have a deranged fetish of

dressing up like an animal.

You can't make this up.

I think you just did.

Because first, I don't believe that there's an epidemic of furries working

as airline personnel. And frankly, if there were, Tuberville would not be the

one to break that news. I think we all know this guy would, but also, who?

Gives a shit.

There's a war going on right now. This is not a real problem. Until a plane

crashes and the cause turns out to be pilot was watching Mr. Tumnus fan cams

on mute with his hand down his pants, I think we can safely put this one on the

back burner.

Meanwhile, midterm elections are fast approaching and several polls of

Democrats with a double-digit lead on the generic ballot. One race

surprisingly in play is the one for Senate in Texas, where Republican Ken

Paxton, the man who bears a striking resemblance to a raw Mr. Potato Head...

is trailing in the polls against Democrat James Tallarico, or as Trump

refers to him... Tallafrico.

Yeah. I get it. I mean, what can you really say there? Even a rotting fruit's

still got some juice.

Tallarico leading in the polls is clearly a big deal, especially since

Paxton has Trump's endorsements, although it is not always easy to tell

that, given how Trump tends to talk about him.

You know, we have a guy named Ken Paxton, and some people...

don't like the way he dresses, or some people don't like the way he interviews

or talks.

He may not dress right, he may not talk exactly perfectly, and he may not be the

best-looking guy I've ever seen. So, Ken Paxton, you might not like the way he

dresses. And I say this. It's so insulting to him, but I might as well

say it.

You might not like the way he looks. You might not love his look.

You might not love his television interviews.

But he was the best attorney general in the country, perhaps. He was one of the

best in the entire country.

and that speaks a lot louder than the suit he's wearing that doesn't look so

great. Okay, it is tough to pick a favorite part there, but I think mine is

the sentence, it's so insulting to him, but I might as well say it. Yeah, you

definitely might as well, given it seems you've already said it 400 different

times. But Paxton's shitty suits are the least of his problems. He has a lot of

baggage. Just listen to this attack ad that was run against him earlier this

year. Crooked Ken Paxton cheated on his wife. She's divorcing him on biblical

grounds. So now Paxton's wrecking another home, sleeping around with a

married mother of seven. And remember this, Crooked Ken has increased his net

worth by as much as 7,000% since taking office. Now think of the Paxton dirty

deeds we don't know about yet.

The wife cheater and fraud, or the Texas workhorse.

That ad was run by John Cornyn, a fellow Republican, during the primary. It was

co-sponsored by the Senate Republican Campaign Committee.

And while it's pretty effective, I will say I have never wanted to do anything

less than think of the Paxton dirty deeds we don't know about.

You already just made me picture this guy having sex. I think we're good,

thanks.

The point is, to say Ken Paxton's unpopular within his own party is an

understatement, and it is not because he's not conservative enough. He sued

the Biden administration 106 times, tried to classify gender-affirming care

as child abuse, and on the day Roe v. Wade was overturned, he tweeted, I'm

closing my office and making it an annual holiday.

And what would you even call that holiday other than, you know what, I've

got it, Mandatory Labor Day.

And yet...

Many Republicans absolutely hate him. Just this week, we learned George W.

Bush was raising money for prominent Republicans, except Ken Paxton.

And during the Republican primary, this is how Senator Tom Tillis described him.

And to call Paxton ethically challenged is to call Jeffrey Dahmer separating

from an eating disorder.

Wow!

Those are some strong words.

from a member of Paxton's own party, even if he did fuck up his Dharma joke

by saying sufferating instead of suffering. If you're coming to an

interview with a prepared joke, you cannot bungle it on the delivery.

You just can't do it.

But when he said ethically challenged there, he wasn't kidding. Paxton spent

nearly nine years under indictment for securities fraud before the charges were

dropped in a deal in which he paid nearly $300,000 in restitution to his

victims and agreed to complete 100 hours of community service and 15 hours of

legal ethics education, which is just an amazing thing for a state AG to have to

do. Not just that, he was also accused of bribery and abuse of office by eight

of his own top deputies. And while he was never charged with a crime there, he

was later impeached by the Republican-controlled Texas House. Now,

the Senate later acquitted him, but by then, Paxton had fired four of the

staffers who'd reported him, which led to a lawsuit claiming he'd violated the

state's Whistleblower Act. And eventually, Texas taxpayers had to pay

over $6 million to those staffers Paxton had fired.

And while it's not strictly relevant, on top of all of that, you should know he

also once posted... this image on 9-11 to commemorate the day of the attacks.

And what the fuck is that?

It looks like a Norman Rockwell painting if he was kind of rooting for the play.

And I'm on my many issues with it. Red solo cups?

At 8.46 a.m.? Sure, they had a rough day, but not at that point.

That post.

is an incredibly bad look for Paxton, which, as Trump will happily tell you,

is a very high bar too clear. But wait, because I'm still not done. As reporting

recently emerged about the acquisition of 15 properties worth about $9 million

by Paxton and trusts associated with him. That led to claims he'd omitted

rental income and mortgages from financial disclosures, obscuring his

wealth, and that, incredibly, he also appears to have used an address where he

did not live while voting in six elections, all of which...

did throw a bit of a wrench into his efforts to present himself as a law and

order candidate at events like this one.

They've made a lot about the reports that have come out, one in the New York

Times, about you acquiring properties worth... So, Jack, can we keep this to

law enforcement today? Well, I'm giving you the opportunity to answer that

question. I'd like that, but we're here with the sheriffs. I'd like to keep

today to law enforcement.

So that's what I'm going to answer, questions about law enforcement.

OK. Grimmer, did you want to go?

Will you answer a question about why you voted in Collin County?

Clear that up. We're just going to do questions on law enforcement today

because we're joined with 22 amazing law enforcement officers.

OK, but I feel like that question was about law enforcement.

It was literally about the enforcement of laws that Ken Paxton may have broken.

It's not like that reporter just asked, hey, this is actually for any of those

guys behind Ken right now. Did you call each other this morning to decide what

to wear? Or was this all just a coincidence?

I can't leave without knowing.

Even Paxton's pettiest scandals have long haunted him. We actually showed you

this attack ad against him back in 2018, but it really is worth seeing again.

This is the Collin County Courthouse, where a Dallas attorney accidentally

left a $1,000 pen at the metal detectors. This is Ken Paxton, the

indicted Texas Attorney General, rummaging through the metal detector

trays and stealing that $1,000 pen.

And this is Ken Paxton, the indicted Texas Attorney General, walking away

with a stolen pen.

Vote Justin Nelson for Texas Attorney General.

He will fight on behalf of all Texans, and he won't steal your cat.

Yeah, that is pretty damning, isn't it? It does not look good when there is

security footage of you rooting around in the metal detector bins like a

fucking raccoon in the dumpster behind Popeyes.

But that pen story hasn't gone away to the point the Tallarico campaign

actually brought it back in an ad this year with an extra little twist at the

end. After the police got involved, Joe got his pen back.

He could have pressed charges, but he decided against it.

Because Joe's a nice guy.

He'd never take someone else's pen. But he also hasn't forgotten who took his.

Hi, I'm Joe Joplin, and I endorse James Tallarico for the United States Senate.

Vote for James Tallarico. He won't steal your pen.

They've got the owner of the pen to endorse Tallarico. Fun fact, in a recent

interview, that guy apparently said the first time he ever saw the video of Ken

Paxton stealing his pen was, and this is true, on this show, which is pretty wild

to me, given I don't usually deliver personal news to individual viewers,

though while I'm at it, Jacob R. in Bethesda, Maryland, Deborah's filing for

divorce. Apparently, you can have the dog, she won't fight you on that. And

look... I know that we have been here before. An energizing young Democrat

attempts to topple a Republican for Senate and turn Texas blue. It happened

with Colin Allred two years ago and Beto O'Rourke in 2018, both of whom

ultimately lost to Ted fucking Cruz. And maybe Paxton will come out on top here.

But I've got to say, it's going to be tough to win the people of Texas over.

The Times actually had a panel this week of Trump voters who were undecided in

this race. And when they were asked to describe Paxton, their answers were

crook, criminal crook, Crooked, bad, amoral, disgusting, morally corrupt,

disgusting, corrupt, and womanizer crook, with the kindest review he got

being controversial. There's just so many things that he's been accused of

and acquitted of, and I took a more neutral approach to your question. So

controversial, but more in a negative way.

And the thing is, they're by no means the only Texans who are feeling that

way. Take this Republican voter who spoke to PBS.

As far as Paxton goes, I will most likely not vote for Paxton.

A lot of Republicans are just not going to vote for that slot.

He's seeming kind of dirty right now, like a career politician that could

possibly be a used car salesman.

Okay. First, that dog is simply too big. He is floofy and he is perfect, but he

is too big. I didn't know dogs came in double XL sizes.

He honestly looks more like a man in a dog costume, which actually raises the

question, which airline does he fly for?

But more importantly, she is right about Paxton. He's basically a used car

salesman who's trying to sell the state a defective product. And for the good of

all Americans, I guess we can only hope that when Texans go to the polls in

November, they do not fucking buy it. And now, this.

And now, people on TV having fun with Fat Bear Week.

Well, get your brackets ready. Fat Bear Week is back, and it's bulkier than

ever. It's Fat Bear Week, and for the record, Fox 45 is not bear-shaming. This

is a contest that happens every year.

We're just reporting the news.

I always feel bad, though, when we call them Fat Bear.

You know what I'm saying? I know, but... What are you gonna do? Yeah, it's a

title.

Voting is open until next Tuesday, and honestly...

This is the kind of election that I can get excited about. Forget the midterms.

I'm disappointed that they don't have like real names. As you were kind of

flipping through them, it looked like their names were numbers. And as long as

we're insulting them by calling them all fat.

I feel like they at least deserve the dignity of having a proper name and not

just a number. Joseph, what's your criteria for Fat Bear Week? What are you

looking for? I don't know. Overall shape. Overall girth, if you will? Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Man, just what a funny thing that we do, you know? You trying to figure out how

to segue into weather right now?

Moving on. Our main story tonight concerns Brazil, home to the Amazon,

Sugarloaf Mountain, and that giant statue of Jesus doing an impression of

Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Yes, Jesus, you are flying.

Next Sunday, Brazil has a major election when 160 million voters will cast their

ballots to elect not just a president, but state governors, two-thirds of the

Senate, and every lawmaker in the lower house. And as you may recall from our

past coverage of Brazilian elections, down-ballot candidates there can be very

fun, as they often give themselves eye-catching nicknames. This year,

there's a candidate calling himself Mick Jagger, which makes sense, because he

looks like this.

There's also one who goes by Shrek, because he looks like this.

And one who goes by Frodo, because he looks like this. But it is not just...

lower-level races where things can get weird. There are also novelty candidates

for Brazil's presidency. Take this guy, a veterinarian who's produced A.I. slop

ads showing him running a race with a dog on his back, surrounded by cats, and

pushing his stroller jam-packed with a whole jellicle ball's worth of them,

while also wearing a cat-filled BabyBjorn. Now, to be fair, he also put

out a non-A.I. slop video in which he tried to explain one of his big campaign

promises.

My Botox My Life is about supplying botulinum toxin for low-income women.

Think of a woman you know who's had a hard life, who looks tired, and is even

ashamed to look in the mirror.

Self-esteem cannot be a luxury item just for rich people.

It can't be. It has to be accessible to everyone.

Tag someone in the comments who you think deserves the My Botox My Life

treatment.

Wow!

Tag a woman in the comments!

Who could benefit from botox because you think they look tired. I literally dare

you to do that See what happens Now, you may remember, we talked about Brazil's

last big election in 2022.

Back then, the country's then-president, the far-right asshole Jair Bolsonaro,

was running for re-election. He had long been a nightmare of a human being, doing

things like telling a female lawmaker, I would never rape you because you don't

deserve it. And as president, did many, many terrible things, not limited to

overseeing record destruction in the Amazon. Now, thankfully, he lost that

election to Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, also known as Lula, who'd already served

two terms as president before.

Lula is running again this year.

Jair Bolsonaro is actually banned from doing that for reasons that we will get

into. Unfortunately, though, his eldest son Flavio is running in his place

instead. And as you can see, Flavio looks a lot like his father, if that is

his father got some of that veterinarian's free Botox.

And at times, he has gone out of his way to emphasize their similarities.

They may be calmer, smile more, and appear more peaceful and moderate, but

right here runs Bolsonaro blood.

Well,

that is the opposite of reassuring, isn't it? I know I may sometimes appear

nice and normal, but don't worry, everyone, I still have the blood of an

unhinged lunatic running through my veins.

Vote for Flávio, I have all the Bolsonaro fluids in here.

The point is, yet again, Brazil finds itself having to choose between Lula and

a guy named Bolsonaro for president, and many do not seem thrilled that those are

their main choices.

Who's winning the election this year, Lula or Flavio Bolsonaro? I hope neither

of those two. Flavio Bolsonaro or Lula for president?

Neither, buddy.

I'm not voting for anyone.

Nothing changes.

Only the flies change.

The filth stays the same.

Lula or Flavio Bolsonaro?

Neither. I'd rather take a bullet to the head.

Whoa!

Well, I know you might hate both candidates, but your third option

shouldn't be taking a bullet to the head. If we've learned anything from US

elections, and we haven't, it's that your options are two candidates you

dislike, then Jill Stein, then bullet to the head.

The point is, to the extent there are strong feelings around this election,

they're mainly negative ones, as around half of Brazilians say they'd never vote

for Lula, and a similar share would never vote for Flavio. But recently,

Flavio does seem to be surging in the polls, which is worrying because that

means the world's fourth largest democracy, and the home to, not

insignificantly, the rainforest that is key to meeting the world's climate

goals, could yet again be run by a dangerous dipshit named Bolsonaro.

So given all of that, let's talk about Brazil's upcoming election. It's main

candidates and some of the extraordinary baggage that they carry. And we should

probably start with everything that's happened since...

Our last update. In 2022, Lula beat Jair Bolsonaro by less than two percentage

points. It was the narrowest margin in a Brazilian presidential vote since the

fall of the military dictatorship in 1985.

And Bolsonaro's reaction was not ideal.

He never formally acknowledged his defeat and even fled the country before

inauguration day and went to Orlando, where he was later spotted posing for

selfies with fans and waiting in line at a Publix.

Someone even caught him sitting in a KFC eating fried chicken out of a box, which

is pretty depressing, isn't it? As that image reads, less world leader and more

world's saddest Best Buy employee on his lunch break.

Meanwhile, back in Brazil, Bolsonaro supporters started protesting in droves,

asking the military to overturn the election results. And all of that fervor

culminated in this.

Tonight, democracy under attack in Brazil.

Thousands of protesters violently storming the country's presidential

offices and Congress in the capital of Brasilia in an attack eerily reminiscent

of what the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol looked like just two years ago.

Violent rioters battling with police, firing tear gas in the air as they

vandalized government offices, all claiming Bolsonaro didn't really lose

the election.

Yeah, it turns out history doesn't repeat itself, but sometimes it does get

dubbed in Portuguese.

That was basically Brazil's January 6th, which is easily the most upsetting

Brazilian version of an American idea since Vila Sessamo, its 1970s adaptation

of Sesame Street that featured a gaggle of absolute freaks like this Oscar the

Grouch knockoff with raging pervert eyes named Goo Goo, this giant elephant named

Funga Funga with a trunk I can only describe as uncircumcised.

And this giant feathery nightmare named Garibaldo.

And I have to ask, is that what our Sesame Street characters look like to

the rest of the world?

Because if so, I'm really sorry.

Well, remember, Bolsonaro was in Florida at the time inhaling poultry.

It soon came to light that he and those around him had done a little more than

just tacitly support those protests.

Bolsonaro was quickly put formally under investigation for inciting the riots.

And months later, the federal police made a huge discovery.

that Bolsonaro wasn't just inciting an insurrection. He was actually planning a

full-on military coup.

Investigators found throngs of documents and even one plan to assassinate

Moraes, to assassinate then-president-elect Lula and his vice

president, Geraldo Alckmin, was printed out in a computer within the

presidential palace by a former military aide of Bolsonaro.

Everything was very well documented and poorly disguised.

Yeah, they printed their plans out.

Which is smart, isn't it? We all know the best way to keep a military coup

plot secret is to create an unnecessary paper trail.

Now, thankfully, plans to overturn the election and overtake the Supreme Court

collapsed, mainly because the heads of two of the three armed forces refused to

take part. And I should say, Bolsonaro wasn't accused of being involved in the

assassination part of that plot, but once the broader evidence of the coup

plan came to light, Brazil's Supreme Court ordered Bolsonaro to stand trial,

found him guilty, and sentenced him to 27 years and three months in prison.

That is why he cannot run for president again.

But interestingly, he's actually not in prison right now.

for less than four months inside, he got permission to serve the rest of his

sentence under house arrest because of his failing health. And look, Bolsonaro

is no stranger to making headlines for medical issues. He famously tested

positive for COVID after railing against COVID precautions.

But on top of that, he once told the press his bladder stone was bigger than

a bean.

His doctors revealed he'd had a bowel obstruction caused by untued shrimp.

And he's been hospitalized not once, not twice, but three separate times because

of hiccups.

So... This is a guy not without medical issues, but I will say allowing him to

be under house arrest is placing an awful lot of trust in someone who

shortly prior to having to report to prison did this.

Since being convicted of attempted coup back in September, Bolsonaro has been

under house arrest.

But a midnight alert from his electronic ankle monitor triggered security teams

to come inspect the device.

And then Bolsonaro admitted on video that he had used a soldering iron to try

to open it.

Did you use anything to burn it? I stuck a hot iron on it here. A hot iron?

Out of curiosity.

What kind of iron was it? A clothes iron?

No, a soldering iron.

For soldering.

I don't know what is weirder about that. The fact that he thought he could

disable his ankle monitor, or that he thought a soldering iron was how to do

it. That is dangerous behavior for anyone, but especially someone who

history has shown could start having medical grade hiccups at any moment.

And look, if you're seeing a lot of parallels to Trump here, an

authoritarian leader who lost an election only to then go sulk in Florida

and plot his revenge, you're not alone in that.

Trump clearly sees a reflection of his own experiences in all of this, and

during Bolsonaro's trial, he even seemed to try to sway the outcome.

This morning, a major escalation in President Trump's global trade war, with

the president releasing a letter announcing a 50% tariff on imports from

Brazil starting August 1st.

Mr. Trump specifically pointing to the ongoing prosecution of one of his

longtime allies, Brazil's former president, Jair Bolsonaro.

The president calling Bolsonaro's trial before the Brazilian Supreme Court,

quote, a witch hunt that should end immediately.

Of course he called it that. Trump overuses the term witch hunt the way the

internet overuses the word iconic.

Your newborn is not iconic.

A contestant on The Traitors wearing a hat is not iconic.

The dog from Anatomy of a Fall taking a shit on the sidewalk is not instant icon

behavior. The more you use that term, the less it means.

And it wasn't just tariffs.

Trump's administration even targeted Brazilian Supreme Court judges revoking

their US visas and issuing financial sanctions. But interestingly, all those

actions may actually end up backfiring because on the campaign trail, Lula has

turned rallying against Trump into one of his biggest applause lines.

Here in Brazil, we don't accept that anyone sticks their nose into our

business, because Brazil knows how to take care of itself.

There are too many people sticking their noses into our business and trying to

lay their hands on our land. That's going to stop.

I've already told Trump over the phone, don't meddle in Brazilian elections,

because if you do, you will lose.

Yeah, that is a strong message that is only slightly undercut by the fact it's

being delivered by a man who looks like his style icon is Perry the Platypus.

But the thing is, it has worked.

Lula's actually seen a noticeable boost in popularity whenever he's denounced

Trump's tariffs as infringements on Brazilian sovereignty.

And to be honest, he could do with the help. Because if Bolsonaro is

reminiscent of Trump, Lula can unfortunately be pretty reminiscent of

Joe Biden. And not just because both men have big, I've got a Werther's Original

in my pocket energy.

Like Biden, he's a career politician who's generally governed as a center

-left pragmatist, doing things like prioritizing social programs and

supporting oil drilling in the Amazon while still curbing deforestation there.

Also, he's had to navigate real concerns over his age, although I will say he's

been a lot more proactive on that score than Biden ever was.

At 80 years old, the former factory worker is eager to show that his age is

just a number.

You can cut your healthcare costs in half if you do what nature tells you to

do. I've learned that.

That's why, my dear comrades, I'm in great shape.

His secret?

Exercise. In recent months, Lula has been sharing a steady stream of workout

videos on social media.

Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that is truly inspiring.

Specifically, it is inspiring me to stay the fuck off of Instagram.

So I don't run the risk of seeing an 80-year-old with his pits out filming

geriatric thirst traps.

And honestly, that doesn't even give you the full sense of just how weird his

workout videos are. Because imagine, scrolling social media in Brazil and

suddenly hitting this.

Very strange coming from a world leader, but I think my favorite moment there is

the thousand-yard stare he does while doing curls, as if to say, you know

what? Maybe this is actually worth it.

The problem for Lula is that many voters see him as an establishment candidate,

and even though unemployment is currently at its lowest level since

2012, affordability remains a major issue for voters there. And as you have

seen... he is now facing a significant challenge from Flavio Bolsonaro, who is

not only half his age, but who's also tried to present himself as basically

his father, but without the baggage.

He's called himself a vaccinated Bolsonaro and has even tried to counter

his dad's famous history of misogyny by running campaign ads like this.

Everyone knows my father, right? But look, my daughters, my wife, and my

mother are the ones who made me exactly the way I am.

My father worked very hard.

Always worked very hard. I spent most of my time with my mother.

She passed on her worldview, her way, her sensitivity.

Then I met Fernanda, the woman of my life.

I even refer to her as my life, my eternal girlfriend, a very competent

dentist.

I mean, it's pretty weird.

Landing on the dentist comment there.

Although I almost wish he'd kept shoehorning in his wife's professional

credentials. She's my life, my eternal girlfriend, a competent dentist.

She's my soulmate, an adept at identifying gingivitis. She's my guiding

light and has flossed thousands of strangers.

Though even as Flavio tries to present a softer side in his ads, you've already

seen him claiming his veins are full of Bolsonaro blood, which, as we all now

know, probably contains at least one untued shrimp.

And he's gone out of his way to include his dad in his rallies. Now, not

physically including him, that's impossible, as remember, he's under

house arrest, and not including him on video, as he's also been banned from

communicating with the public. Instead, he's tried this clever workaround.

What you are seeing here is not me.

This is a simulation of my image and voice made with artificial intelligence.

As everyone here knows, I am imprisoned and silenced by an unjust and arbitrary

decision based on something I never did.

Well, that is both creepy and very dumb.

Though, I will say, it is hard for me to judge A.O. Bolsonaro for looking

exhausted while complaining in a white void, as frankly, we have all been

there.

And the fact is, Flavio's similarities to his dad are pretty concerning. Like

him, he said some deeply shitty things about gay people, including being

homosexual isn't normal, and I'm very sincere when I say that I don't like

seeing two bearded men kissing. I find it disgusting, which does beg the

question... Twinks are okay, though?

He's also defended the military dictatorship that ran Brazil for 21

years, saying back then there was security, healthcare, quality education

and respect, which is a bold thing to say about a regime that killed and

tortured its political opponents.

And more recently, he's aligned himself with right-wing world leaders like

Benjamin Netanyahu and Argentina's president, Javier Mele. And on crime, he

has said the only way is to be heavy-handed and has proposed building

five new prisons based on the model adopted by El Salvador.

You know, the place with the... infamously brutal gulag where Kristi

Noem went for her fun photo shoot.

But maybe the biggest similarity between Flavio and his dad concerns their rich

history of being connected to scandals. And rather than getting into all of

them, I just want to focus on the most recent, which involves a movie called

Dark Horse.

It's basically a feature-length propaganda film about Jair Bolsonaro

centering on the incident in 2018 when he was stabbed during a rally. It stars

Jim Caviezel, who you may know as the guy from The Passion of the Christ,

Sound of Freedom... and the very real headline, Jim Caviezel emulates

Braveheart speech to cheering crowd at QAnon convention.

Here is just a taste of the trailer that leaked earlier this year.

My name is Jair Bolsonaro.

I'm father, husband, and now I'm running for president.

How about this crowd, eh? Will you have a speech?

To foreigners, to environmentalists, to Hollywood pedophiles. This country isn't

theirs. It's ours.

Our nation, Brazil, is at stake.

What's happened?

Considering the severity of the injury.

Doctor, God is with him.

Okay, so...

There is clearly a lot there. First, you'll notice that the entire movie is

in English, and yet Jim Caviezel's opting to do that accent anyway. He

is... As for him saying he was standing up to foreigners, environmentalists and

Hollywood pedophiles...

I'm not sure exactly why Hollywood pedophiles got a mention there, though

to be fair, it never hurts to toss them onto your list of enemies. It's why you

can expect promotional material for next season of this show to read, Last Week

Tonight, The Most Hated Show Among Liars, Racists, Scammers, and Hollywood

Pedophiles. Because what are you going to do? Tell me I'm wrong about that? Go

ahead, do it. In fact, any Hollywood pedophiles who are offended right now,

please sound off in the comments, like and subscribe, and as always, do

remember to tag a woman who looks tired.

The funny thing about this movie, from the fact it was made at all, to the fact

that Flavio Bolsonaro, who, remember, looks like this, is played by a guy who

looks like this, feels like a crime against cinema. But it turns out that's

not the only sort of crime it might be, as the news in Brazil has been utterly

dominated by stories covering investigations into the financing of

Dark Horse, and the movie's ties to a much larger scandal concerning Banco

Master, a failed lender now under investigation in a $10 billion bank

fraud case.

Very basically, it turns out a big chunk of the movie's financing apparently came

from a disgraced banker there named Daniel Vaccaro, who was arrested in

March on suspicion of leading the whole Banco Master fraud scheme. Think of him

as Brazil's Bernie Madoff, if Bernie Madoff was also built like a linebacker

and hot as shit.

Vaccaro apparently promised Flavio a whopping $24 million to help produce

Dark Horse, and while it's believed he ultimately forked over only half of

that, there are still understandable questions regarding where the money then

went, because based on the trailer, it sure doesn't seem like much of it made

its way onto the screen.

And while Flavio initially claimed he had no association with Vaccaro, that

didn't last long once phone messages between them started coming out.

Exchanged messages reveal that senator and presidential precandidate for the PL

party, Flavio Bolsonaro, persistently asked for money from Daniel Vorcaro,

owner of Banco Master, for a transfer of R$ 4 million to finance the biopic of

former president Jair Bolsonaro, titled Dark Horse.

Yeah, that doesn't look great, does it? Nor does it look great that the day

before Vaccaro was arrested trying to fly to Dubai, Flavio was texting him,

brother, I am and will always be with you.

Which is a weirdly intimate message to send to someone you have no association

with. Honestly, it'd be a weirdly intimate message to send to anyone at

all. I mean, I do get it, the guy's a business beefcake, but still, let's turn

it down a notch, shall we?

Now, Flavio maintains that nothing concerning the film's funding was

criminal, and that he only took Vaccaro's money because the film was

already underway, and I didn't want this work of art to be lost.

But calling this film art is stretching that term to breaking point. Now,

granted, I have not seen it, but luckily, I have read a leaked draft of

the screenplay, and it features some truly incredible dialogue, with

Bolsonaro saying lines like, same shit, new toilet, and rumors are like farts,

they come from assholes.

And the film apparently opens with a scene where a female reporter says to

Bolsonaro, you love your wife, your children, I'm sure you revere the holy

family and all the saints, get weepy at baptisms, weddings and funerals, but

underneath all of that, what are you? To which he apparently replies, something

you've never encountered, a man.

Which already feels like a line from a bad porn film before you learn that

after that line, the screenplay apparently reads, she is thrown by the

penetration of this.

And that is... That's not even a line of dialogue. That's an instruction for how

the actress should react. And I have no idea how you are even supposed to do

that. And I will remind you, that is coming from someone who has acted twice.

But reading the screenplay does make it clear.

What a shameless propaganda piece this movie was intended to be, given that it

turned Jair's stabbing, which all investigations concluded was done by a

lone individual, into a conspiracy among the elites, the Supreme Court, and a

fictional far-left party. So this suspiciously expensive movie was pretty

clearly designed to reset Jair Bolsonaro's image among Brazilians, and

in doing so, boost Flavio's campaign.

Which is what makes it so funny that amid all of the controversy, its

distributor decided to postpone the film's release until after. after the

election. So, Flavio's not gonna get any of the propaganda benefits of Dark

Horse, but he's still having to deal with the scandal around its financing,

as this story has been absolutely huge in Brazil. People have been pouring

through documents about its production and financing, which means, if nothing

else, we have learned some fun details like this.

According to the production company behind the film depicting the life of

former president Jair Bolsonaro, the wig worn by actor Jim Caviezel, who plays

Jair Bolsonaro, was rented for R$ 10,000.

The expense description reads, wig rental Jim.

In case you were wondering, that amount converts to just under $2,000.

And first, that is entirely too much for that wig. It looks like it was bought at

a Spirit Halloween on November 1st. But also, I'm sorry, rental?

Does that mean that they returned it? Is there someone in Brazil walking around

right now in that thing looking like Rachel Maddow got put through the

washing machine?

A dark horse has understandably become a punchline in Brazil. There are now

people holding up signs asking where the money spent on it went. And at one

concert by a Brazilian pop star, someone literally dressed up as a dark horse and

threw money out at the audience.

And while I'm assuming that that is a political protest, it actually might be

one of the stars of Brazilian Sesame Street. It could technically be the

Count. Nothing's off-limits. And look...

The broader Banco Master scandal is still getting bigger every day, and it's

spreading in some unexpected directions.

For instance, it emerged recently that Vaccaro may have been in contact with

this justice on Brazil's Supreme Court, who actually oversaw Jair Bolsonaro's

trial and imprisonment. And while that judge denies wrongdoing, he's widely

seen as a close ally of Lula. A fact that unfortunately, Flavio and his

supporters are now using to both sides this scandal to try and mitigate the

damage here. So despite everything that you have seen tonight, the truth is...

Flavio still has a very real chance to win this election, which is not good.

He's already vowed to pardon his father if elected, and while the Supreme

Court's ruled that pardons cannot be used to protect a political ally, it is

worth knowing that Brazil's next president will have the opportunity to

appoint at least three and maybe four of the Supreme Court's 11 justices. Look,

this is going to be...

an incredibly tight race. According to recent polling, it's likely neither

candidate ends up securing more than 50% of the votes in the first round, in

which case there will then be a runoff election on October 25th. So there is

clearly a lot at stake in Brazil right now. And I'm not just saying that

because I'm not a big fan of the Bolsonaros, which is about as much of an

understatement as me saying the movie Dark Horse probably won't win an Oscar.

But... I also think they're a family clearly out for revenge, and

unfortunately, the current US administration appears very happy to

help them get it. And I know that the only thing more annoying than me ending

a story telling you to go vote is me telling you to go vote if you are in

Brazil. Especially since voting there is actually mandatory.

So, all I'll say is, hopefully next Sunday, Lula's message of defiance and

Jim Lunges...

will end up gaining a lot more traction than Flavio's fearmongering and flagrant

daddy issues.

And we can all only hope that if the voters there do reject Flavio, the

Bolsonaro family won't just accept the results, they'll, to quote one of the

worst screenplays I've ever seen, be thrown by the penetration of it.

And now, this.

And now, Ray Kelly wants to know, have you seen this movie?

People commit crime through the ordinary male...

All the time. Who saw the movie The Firm? It's now an old one. Can you

believe it? Tom Cruise is freaked out by that Memphis law firm?

Looks like something out of that movie Carrie.

Anybody see Carrie?

The girl with telekinesis at the high school and ruins the prom? Who has seen

the movie Stripes? I love that movie with Bill Murray and the rest. Stripes,

anybody? Anybody remember the movie Trading Places?

Huh? Fantastic. Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy. And they trade places.

So good. So good.

Have you ever seen that movie, U.S. Marshals, with, oh, I don't know, the

same guy from The Fugitive. What was his name again? What was that movie?

Big and Tom Hanks got up in the car. Who saw Forrest Gump? Anybody remember that

movie? Anybody remember what happened at the Lincoln Memorial?

Everybody knows you can't swim in that thing.

And they only did it because they were madly in love and they hadn't seen each

other and Forrest was safe.

And you know what happens next.

What does happen next? Do they get married?

They have a kid! I remember that vaguely, and I think she dies.

Yeah, she dies.

That's our show. Thanks so much for watching. We'll see you next week.

Goodnight.