Original subtitles

Reporter: It's 9:45 New York News Time.

There's been a rash of break-ins and robberies

in the Pine Hill section of Queens this week.

Houses were cleaned out and ransacked while the occupants were away.

Police have no leads and there are no witnesses to the robberies.

Negotiations are expected to resume at the nurses' strike

at the Park Hill Hospital in Queens.

An autopsy is being performed to determine the cause of death

of a robbery victim that died this morning

after he was beaten and robbed while buying doughnuts.

A man jogging was beaten and robbed last night

in the Park Hill section of Queens.

Police have no leads

and there are no witnesses to the attack.

Police are investigating reports of extortion

involving street gangs and local businesses

in the Park Hill section of Queens.

Store owners are alleged to be threatened into paying protection money

and some were beaten when they refused.

Victims are reluctant to talk because of fear of reprisals.

Police have no leads

and there are no witnesses to the attacks.

On Wall Street, the Dow Jones is up three points in active trading.

New York weather says a mix of clouds and sunshine,

breezy and mild this afternoon.

Partly cloudy, brisk, and cold tonight.

Sunny to partly cloudy, windy for tomorrow.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch it with that. I don't want her chipped.

Be very careful with that. That was my mother's.

Oh, that goes right near the kitchen up there.

Anything without a label, just leave it in the hall.

Honey, those are my cups. Billy, be careful with that, all right?

Oh, that-- oh, watch out with that, please.

Honey, Billy.

Now, come on. We got to get this done here.

- Man: I'll take that. - Man #2: Thank you.

- Woman: Yes. Those are my cups. - Man: I know, I know.

Woman: All right, now just try to be more careful.

Sweetie, where are we going to put that--

not that chair, but the one behind you.

- We want this though, right? - Yes, it goes with the other one as a set.

Now, really, seriously, these are my plates and my--

this is the wedding stuff.

- I know, honey, please. - That guy over there--

that guy-- he should take a picture--

he should help if he's going to watch, it's not a show.

Wait! Now come on. This is my stuff.

You care about that. Now, you--

- Man: I have it, B. Don't worry. - Tell them.

Now this shouldn't be right on there. Look, what--

could you-- thank you.

Wait, wait, look how are you holding that. How are you--

This-- I-- this is driving me crazy.

Honey, honey. Look, you've got to make sure

- these guys hold it-- - Oh, I'll take the stereo equipment, okay?

Please, please.

Just slow it up. I mean, you're going to break--

now those are my figurines--

- All right. I know. I know. - Now watch out.

Are you sure I can-- I'm sorry, I can't help honey,

- but you know I'm so bloated. - Don't worry about it.

- B, will you make up your mind, please? - This is important.

I don't want to make any rash decisions.

I know, it's heavy.

- Oh, try it over against the side wall. - Sure.

No, no, no, wait. Then where would the lounge chair go?

- Ah-- - What about under the window?

- What do you think? - Oh!

All right. Okay. Leave it where it is.

[ groans ]

Hey, Tweeter.

Howie, how are you today, huh?

Looking a little pale, Howie.

The candy dish goes to the right.

Man: Boss, new people moved in on Garden Street today.

They got all kinds of shit.

Yeah. Hoochie, told me really expensive shit, too, man.

They got a wall unit, black screen TV,

very nice VCR videos.

They've got "Gone with the Wind," it's a classic, man.

It's-- you want me to stop that, right?

We could fence this stuff for thousands.

Svatchi said that he'd give us cash on the line for it.

The stereo alone is worth a grand, I think.

What the fuck are you doing?

- It's still wrapped. - It's crunchier that way.

- Your brain is crunchier. - Where the fuck is the Tabasco sauce?

You stupid.

Man: We hit 'em tonight.

Shh! No, get down.

Candy.

[ door shuts ]

[ banging ]

Wake up.

Honey, wake up.

There's somebody downstairs.

- What? - There's somebody downstairs.

Why? Who would be down--

Shh. Listen.

Oh, look, Jimi Hendrix.

Jimi.

Take 'em.

[ grunts ]

Oh, they're taking everything.

[ grunts ]

Look, call the police.

- I can't. - Well, just be very quiet.

I can't, the phone's not hooked up yet.

- What? - The guy couldn't come today.

But you told me the phone would be in today.

He couldn't come today, he could come tomorrow.

You mean, we haven't had a phone all day?

No, we haven't had a phone all day.

I know this would happen.

I told you to call the guy last week.

But, no, you said it was too early.

- Right, so crucify me. - God, no wonder we haven't been getting any calls.

- Who are you expecting a call from? - What are we going to do?

[ sighs ] I don't know.

Maybe I could scare them.

They're probably just kids.

Don't be stupid. They may be dangerous.

Well, I could tell them I've got a gun.

You're not really the intimidating type.

You're right.

You go.

Freeze.

All right. I've got a gun.

Now get out of my house before I use it, okay?

So, uh, show us your gun, Cagney.

I'm warning you.

He thinks he's fucking Jimmy Cagney over here.

Come on, guys.

You dirty rat.

- [ screams ] - Come on.

[ grunts ]

- Get up. - Hold him up.

Come on. Your turn.

All right.

- [ grunts ] - My turn.

[ man laughing ]

Yeah.

- Oh. - All right. All right.

Leave him alone and get out of the house now.

I called the police.

Oh, Mrs. Cagney, I presume.

B, get back.

So you called the cops, huh?

Well, that upsets me deeply.

But, you know, fellas, I was wondering

how she could have called the cops

when their phone lines aren't hooked up yet.

We checked, baby.

Look at this.

[ groans ]

[ grunting ]

[ screams ] No. No. No, help!

[ screaming ]

First night here and they're already throwing parties?

[ screaming ]

I don't know, grab some sheets, use your imagination.

Don't worry, I'll find something to tie her down with.

Come here.

[ both screaming ]

[ man howling ]

Hey, what you got over there,

Lon Chaney?

Keep it down!

[ howling continues ]

I want this party stopped right now.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

Please, come in. I'll take care of it right away.

[ grunts ]

How's that?

Pretty spunky bitch you got there, pal.

If she gave you half the trouble she gave me,

you're better off this way.

Well, I got to go.

Hey, thanks for the stuff.

[ laughing ]

[ strained ] B. B--

Paul: You have no idea who killed my wife?

Well, there are no solid leads,

but we are making some progress.

Paul: Well, how can you not have solid leads?

What about all those questions I answered at the hospital

and I gave you descriptions.

It's been six weeks. You must have some idea who did this.

We're checking it out now. [ coughing ]

What-- you got dust in here.

Look, don't you know, like, a place

where any of these dangerous type characters hang out?

We can't book somebody for being

a dangerous type character or hanging out.

We're doing the best we can.

No one actually saw your wife get stabbed.

We don't even know if she was murdered.

Oh, yeah, right.

She was probably scratching her back

with a switchblade and it slipped

and plunged into her heart four times.

We're exploring all the possibilities.

[ door opens, closes ]

[ sighs ]

Who is it?

Woman: Oh, I'm your neighbor from across the street.

My name's Sally, Sally Phillips.

Yes?

Well, I just wanted to give you something

and offer my condolences.

Oh, uh,

I'm not accepting any condolences today.

- Thanks, anyway. - I understand,

but I just wanted you to know that--

oh.

I am so sorry for the loss that you have suffered

and if there is anything,

anything at all that I can do for you...

I just live right across the street

and you don't hesitate to call, okay?

- Thank you very much. - Yeah.

What's in the bag?

- What? - The bag?

Oh.

It's a marshmallow casserole.

I made it myself.

It's my own recipe.

I got it from a book.

- I hope it was a cookbook. - Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my.

You really cleaned up the place

in a hurry since you've been back.

- Yeah, I wish. - Listen, I really got to be getting home.

But if there's anything that I can do,

you just give a call, okay?

- Thank you. - Bye.

Yes, thank you.

My body's not even cold yet.

[ screams ]

No, it's the concussion, that's all.

It's a concussion, all right.

The one you're about to get. Who was that?

I'm just going to sit here and relax.

I'll be fine.

Honey, answer me when I ask you a question.

Who was the blonde?

A neighbor.

I don't want you seeing her again, is that clear?

[ breathes heavily ]

We're going to need a lot of Pledge here.

[ breathing heavily ]

Look at you, would you get a grip?

I've got to get back to the hospital.

- They said this might happen-- - Hey!

[ screams ]

You're going nowhere. Now we have work to do.

You're not here. See, this can't be you. You're dead!

Now me, I'm losing my mind.

But I'll be okay, I just need some rest and some Valium.

I must get some Valium.

Rest.

I'm the one who can't rest.

My soul cannot rest

until those animals have been dealt with.

Animals? What animals?

Are you not listening? Would you look at me when I'm talking to you?

- Sure. - Now, what they did--

[ screams ]

Oh, look at my face.

A wreck. You, you were down here.

You didn't see what they were doing to me.

One of them takes out big knife--

I don't want to hear the details, please.

Now, look, I know I'm cracking up,

so I'll just stay here and do that

and you do whatever you have to do and then leave.

Please, go back to your grave.

I'm not going back to any grave.

Not that I have one I can lie in comfortably.

Why? What's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it? A grave sounds to you like a good place to be?

It's a box, you're dead, you're in the ground, there's nothing,

there's no one, no phone, it's cold.

I thought dying was bad,

but death is-- it's like a nightmare.

Oh, God.

But the actual coffin, though,

was it okay?

I couldn't look, you know,

but did they put that pink satin all the around the--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good, good because-- who am I talking to?

There's nobody here. There's nobody here.

Honey, listen to me. I'm here.

You're not losing your mind. I'm no vision.

I don't know how, but I do know why.

And you are the only one who can help me.

Me?

Oh.

[ sighs ]

Look at this-- look at this place. They took everything.

Where's Tweeter and Howie?

- Gone. They took them. - Gone. They took them.

You are incredible, you know that?

You not only let them come in here and take everything we own,

but you let them kill me and take the fish?

I did not let them kill you, B.

Don't say-- there was nothing I could do.

Why didn't you stay in the bedroom and lock the door?

Oh, well, look, that is one of the main differences between you and me.

I cannot stand by while someone else is being hurt.

I did not exactly "stand by."

And hey, look, this past six weeks was no vacation, either.

I've been in the hospital, you know,

while you were out there being dead or buried or--

Speaking of which, whatever possessed you

to bury me in the blue dress with the sequins?

- I look like a hooker. - No, you didn't.

You always loved that dress.

Yeah, I loved it at a night club or a party,

but at a funeral, I was the loudest thing there.

You made a lovely corpse.

Even the funeral director said you looked good.

And while we're on the subject,

why did you let him put the green eye shadow on me?

It totally clashed with that dress.

No, it didn't. Green goes with blue.

Green goes with blue, what, are you colorblind?

Now don't start, it looked fine.

Then why didn't you go through my stuff?

You could've found like a-- like a dark blue,

- at least then I would've matched. - You did match.

- I did not. - You did, too.

- Did not. - Did, too.

- Did not. - Who cares?

It's over with. Forget about it.

I can't believe I'm having this conversation.

[ sighs ]

I'm hungry.

What is there to eat?

Eat? You can eat?

You're dead, remember? I mean, your stomach doesn't work, right?

Does it? I mean, does anything work here

except your mouth?

- Excuse me? - I'm sorry. Forget it.

It's just this-- this is hard, you know.

This whole thing, it-- I've never-- who expected?

I-- there's-- I don't know.

Oh, candy dish to the right, sure.

Look, now, things are going to be different around here, kiddo.

First, we are going to fix up this house,

then...

the neighborhood.

Neighborhood...

[ man vocalizing ]

Paul: You're not there, you know what I'm saying?

I've had a couple of bad hits on the head here.

You know, maybe, you know, I'm not--

it's nothing personal about you.

I mean, I love what...

Well, the guy must be going loony, talking to a furniture.

Paul: You know what I'm saying, it's like I could be insane

and you could be a figment of my imagination.

You know, it's a worrisome thing.

And, you know, my medication and everything,

it's just, you know--

Perfect.

Everything is back to normal.

We have a home again.

Now-- now our real work begins tonight.

I'll see you later.

- Where are you going? - I can't be here all the time.

- I have stuff to do. - Like what?

Shopping. And I don't want you seeing that blonde, you hear me?

But I thought now we could talk?

Talk to the dummy.

Don't even think about it.

- Oh, no. - [ gasps ]

- No, no, no, no. - B.

You're not wearing that shirt with those pants.

- Huh? - Come on now. Take off the shirt.

Why? I like this shirt.

Why? Because it doesn't go with those pants, that's why.

- Wear the blue shirt. - The blue? Come on, I hate that shirt.

- It makes me itch. - I cannot let you leave the house

- wearing a green shirt with blue pants. - Why not?

Because people will think you're a hippie, that's why not.

- You're doing it. - What?

Yup, you are just like your mother.

You leave my mother out of this.

No. You remember?

When you-- when you told me to tell you?

- Well, I'm telling you. - Change the shirt.

Look, where do you think I'm going, B? A garden party?

I want to be comfortable. I'm wearing this shirt.

- No, you're not. - Yes, I am.

- No, you're not. - Yes, I am!

B, I'm wearing this shirt and that's that.

Damn shirt.

Hey, neighbor, there's a better way than that.

- Huh, what? - That trash.

That's a terrible waste of space.

You ought to look into the Garbotron 1192 Trash Compactor.

- Oh. - It comes equipped

with a deodorizing unit that perfumes each bag.

- Uh-huh. - And you could put the same amount of trash

into a bag one-tenth that size.

- Okay. - Keep this under your hat,

this information has not been released yet.

The Garbotron 1192

is going to be equipped

with a mulching/ shredding device

that fits right on the top.

A friend of mine who works at the company told me.

Well, gee, thanks. I won't tell a soul.

- Make sure you ask for the 1192. - Okay.

Hi, honey.

Seventy-five for a half and half.

What?

Oh, I'm sorry. No. No.

Look, maybe some other time.

No, but say, could you tell me where I'd find, like, a real nasty--

- Beatrice: What are you asking her for?- I'm talking here. Do you mind?

- What? - Yes, I do mind. You have no time

- to talk to hookers. - Give me a break.

I'm sorry. No sliding scale. The first time is--

- No. - --the price is the price.

Yeah, sure. I wasn't talking to you.

She can't see me. Can we go?

- What's the rush? - Who's rushing?

- I'll go slow as you like. - No, I don't mean you.

- I mean her. - I got a name.

No offense, honey.

Hey, Meat. Meat! Loony here.

- What's the matter? - Can we go now?

- We got work to do. - Get off my case!

- I'm doing my best, okay? - He's having a conversation with himself.

You got a problem, pal?

- Excuse me? - Look what we started now here.

- I didn't start anything. - He's bugging me, Meat.

- I was just talking to her, I swear. - I know what you're after.

- You're not fooling anybody here. - I'm not after anything!

You're scaring customers.

Look, it's not me, it's her.

- Who? - My wife?

It will cost you extra if your wife watches.

No, I don't want to buy anything.

Oh, now he expects it for free.

- I expect nothing. Believe me. - Good, 'cause that's exactly--

Will you stay out of this?

You know, I want more money if I got to sleep with lunatics.

Look, pal. I've had about enough of this, okay?

- No-- - Why don't you just take it down the street?

- Okay. - Talk to the fire hydrant or something.

- Okay? Okay? - Yes. Yes.

I'm sorry. Yes, yes. Good idea.

Are you happy now? They think I'm crazy.

And they're not completely wrong, either.

- God damn shirt. - Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.

Here are some possibilities.

These guys? I don't know, B.

This whole thing is wrong. I can't do it, I'm telling you.

Would you let me worry about what's right and wrong?

Yes, it's them. That's one of them right there.

- What, you recognize him? - Yes.

Well, how do you know it's him?

Do think that I could forget them?

- Come on. - Well--

- Well? - I just don't know about this, B.

- Oh. - Wait.

I can't do this. Please.

Take out your wallet.

Oh, shit, man. I just remembered.

I got to stop off at Pickle Digs for a minute.

Hey, listen, you take this, all right?

I'll meet you back at the house later, all right?

No. Look, I don't want to do it.

- [ screams ] - Good. Good.

- Now, pull him back in. Get him off the sidewalk. - Okay, okay.

Come on, honey.

- Go. Go. Go. Go. - Oh, God, he's heavy.

- Okay. Now we can go home. - No. Home? What are you talking about?

- We're not finished. - Well, what do you want me to do?

- Kill him. - Kill him?

- What do you mean kill him? - With your hands.

Wrap them around his throat and kill the son of a bitch.

Wrap him-- you kill him.

Don't you think I would if I could?

But B, I can't kill him. He's defenseless.

So was I when they were killing me.

Look, B, look, he's unarmed.

- He's unconscious. - He's not unarmed. Look at this.

- Look, he's-- now, kill him. - No. B, no.

What do you want me to do?

You want me to lift him up and lunge him at you?

- Will that help? - No, it won't.

Well, what do you want me to do?

- I want to go home. - Oh, you, you, you.

You know, that's all I hear about.

Mr. Selfish. What you want. What about me, huh?

All I'm asking you to do is one little thing.

It's not one little thing, B.

It's murder.

Don't use that tone with me.

There is no need to get ugly about this.

You're the one who wants to strangle this man.

You know something?

I have never seen this side of you before and frankly, I don't like it.

- Fine. - No.

We are both civilized adults here,

and if we can't talk to one another

in civilized adult tones,

then perhaps we shouldn't talk at all.

B, I will not kill this person.

Is that civilized enough for you?

[ screaming ]

Go again! Go again!

Give him a shot for me!

[ grunting ]

Oh, my God. Is he dead?

Oh, deader than I am.

Look, his skull is all smooshed in.

Look, what are we going to do? We can't leave him here.

Well, go. You go get the car and I'll wait here with him.

No, but what are we gonna do?

Oh, let me worry about that.

- Will you get the car? Someone might come. - Okay.

Paul: The Acme Landfill?

B, this is a public dump.

Beatrice: Trust me.

[ man humming ]

Man: Officer at location,

Sherman Bloom.

[ vocalizing ]

[ splash ]

[ bell dings ]

Late with trash and without appointment.

Why doesn't he get himself a Garbotron 1192?

Hey, I know that car.

That's the guy from next door.

There. Are you happy?

We've got our justice. Thank God it's over.

- Over? - [ gasps ]

Nothing's over. You think one is going to make a difference?

You've got your revenge, didn't you?

Look, I'm not a killer, B. I'm an electrician.

People who kill people have regular jobs, too.

You think everyone just starts out as a killer?

That's not gonna work, B.

You know, ever since you died,

you've been pretty miserable, let me tell you.

Well, you're no day at the beach yourself.

And I didn't die, I was killed.

And until my killers have been punished,

we're not finished with anything.

I can't do it, B. I won't.

Look, I'm not what you want me to be here, I'm sorry.

If you don't do this one thing for me,

- I'm going to have to haunt you. - Wha--

Now, I don't want to argue, but I swear to you,

you will never know a moment's peace.

And when you're old and you pass away,

I'll just have to haunt you for all eternity.

Now, I want you to think about that for a moment.

No. I won't do it. I won't.

Forget it. So haunt away.

Okay. So be it.

B? Beatrice.

Beatrice.

Honey.

[ overlapping chatter ]

B? I'm sorry.

I guess, I didn't realize

how much this means to you.

I'll-- I'll do it.

I'll kill-- I'll try.

I'll really try.

Okay?

Listen, you want to play some Gin?

[ bells jingling ]

Paul: Hey, Bob.

Hey, Paulie.

- How are you doing, man? - So, so.

Yeah. I wasn't expecting you in for a while yet.

Look, I told you to take

a couple of months off and I meant it.

Look, your job is here whenever you're ready.

- No. - There's no rush.

I'm fine, though. I'd rather work.

It'll give me something to do.

Is that all right?

- Yeah? - Yeah.

You sure you're okay?

Okay. All right. Your desk is ready.

Just-- you're going to do whatever you want

and take your time.

Hey, I'm not a mental case, okay?

So please don't treat me any different.

I'm fine or I wouldn't be here.

So, what do you want done?

All right. We got two CB's, a stereo, and a TV.

Think you can have them done by 4:00?

No, by 3:00.

- All right. Go for it. - Great.

Reporter: Forty-eight degrees in midtown.

Getting cold tonight with an expected drop to the teens.

Wind chill is nine percent.

Now, for the local news.

An unidentified body was found washed up on shore

at the Acme Landfill in Park Hill, Queens this morning.

The body, wrapped in a large trash bag,

was reportedly a homicide victim.

Bob, where's the solder?

Bob: It's in the upper left drawer,

the parts cabinet.

- Beatrice: Take it. - Jesus, B!

Take it. It's what we need.

No, that's stealing.

Then just borrow it for a while.

What do you want to do, bludgeon all of these guys?

[ exhales ]

Woman: All units, all units, please respond to a riot.

[ knocking ]

Who could that be?

Look, you better get in the closet.

Who's there?

Man: It's me, Detective Brophy.

I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Go ahead.

Can you open the door first?

Can I come in?

Oh, yeah. Did you find the killers?

Where were you last night?

Me? Well, I was here. Home.

You were home? Alone, I presume, right?

No. I was with my wife.

[ chuckles ]

What's this about, Detective?

A gang member from the neighborhood

was bludgeoned to death last night,

and an eyewitness to the attack

describes someone who resembles you at the scene.

Me? Well, that's impossible.

I was here. Home, all night.

Yeah. I know, so you said.

Listen, I'm warning you, if you're involved in this somehow,

I'm going to come down hard on you.

- Don't take that from him. - Who does he think he is anyway?

- Just be quiet. - What?

Tell him to shut up. You can't be bullied.

You've made your point, now be quiet.

I will not be quiet and I'm not gonna have you--

No, no, no. I didn't mean-- never mind.

Tell him you're the victim and not the criminal.

Hey, you know, I'm the victim here, not the criminal.

And he should spend his energy

trying to find the guys that killed me.

And you should spend your energies

trying to find the guy that killed me.

- What? - I mean her. My wife.

Now, throw the bum out.

Now, throw the bum-- will you cut it out?

Listen. I don't know what the hell is going on around here,

but I'm warning you, I'll be watching.

Hey, Brophy.

Any leads on the incident last night?

Are you questioning any suspects about that?

Oh, maybe we shouldn't go out tonight.

Oh, why do you want to ruin the moment for?

You're finally act like a man.

Now, you want to slither off into your hole--

- All right. - like a giant sea slug.

All right. I'll go.

Can I just finish my dinner first?

[ knocking ]

Look, get back in the closet.

Why? No one could see me.

Oh, right. Well, just get back in the closet.

You distract me.

Yes?

I noticed that you was down dumping some garbo last night.

Yeah, I saw your car down by the landfill.

I don't know-- what are you talking about?

That was your car, wasn't it?

No, not at all. I wasn't anywhere near there.

Oh, that's funny.

It certainly looked like your car.

It was a blue Subaru?

Are you sure that wasn't you?

I was home last night.

All night, watching TV.

All alone. Now, see,

my dinner's getting cold, so I--

[ chuckles ]

- If you don't mind. - Okay.

What is there, a neon sign on the roof?

How can we go out now?

We've got the cops, the next door snoop.

Who's next? Geraldo Rivera?

Oh, would you relax?

We got a weapon, it'll go much smoother tonight.

- You'll see. - We got a weapon.

- Man: Please leave me alone. - Wait.

I recognize one of these guys.

Yes. It's him. That's one of them.

Are you sure?

- Positive. - How can you be sure?

Okay. Just don't look at me like that.

[ screaming ]

I don't have anything.

Please, please leave me alone.

I don't have anything more.

- Please. - Fuck you.

Anything I find, I keep.

Thought you didn't have anything, Abdul?

I'm gonna fuck you up the next time

you don't give me what you've got.

Hey, guys, I think you should pay for those goods.

What are you looking at, fuck face?

No. Really. I mean, it.

I-- you should probably just give that money back, too.

You know, you stole that.

I think this guy needs to be taught a lesson.

Waste him.

Say goodbye to life.

No! Wait till they get closer.

- Huh? - Shit. He's got a gun.

Hey, guys. No, no, no! Come back. Come back.

- Shoot! - Which one?

That one. That's definitely him.

- [ screaming ] - [ gunshot ]

Oh, my God.

Here.

If you just waited,

we could have gotten all of them.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm new at this, okay?

I've never actually shot a man in the back before.

I got confused. Oh, my God. Look.

Help with the body here.

B?

What, now you got qualms?

You get me to shoot this guy in cold blood in the back

and now you got qualms about helping with the body?

Beatrice: I have low impact, okay?

Do you know how much energy it takes just for me to be visible?

Oh, great. Well, you're fine in the audible department, let me tell you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Smarty Pants.

It is very difficult for me

to be audible and visual when I'm dead. Do you--

how many dead people do you know that are audible and--

B, I'll move the body.

- Oh, God. - What's all this "say goodbye to life" stuff?

You know, you got to have something to say before you shoot them.

It's a-- it's a thing. You know, Clint Eastwood.

Oh, it's good. Keep it. It's good.

Yeah. But look, I just--

Oh, look. Do you think you could--

Forget it. I know just how you feel.

[ radio playing ]

[ water splashes ]

[ car accelerates ]

Damn it. I knew it.

Howdy, neighbor. [ chuckles ]

You know, unexpected garbo turned up last night.

Everything's been taken care off

quite efficiently, if you get my meaning.

Uh-huh.

Great. Thanks.

Man: You've got something for me?

Get my TV, yeah?

Hey, Paulie, that set ready yet?

Paul: No, about 15 minutes.

Hurry it up, will you?

A little 15 minutes--

You're a little light here.

Yeah. Well, I--

Come on, spit it out.

Look, I just didn't make enough this week.

You got to give me a break.

I mean, I-- I can't even pay my bills here.

Is that all? I mean, is that all?

I mean, why didn't you tell me?

'Cause, you know, I can understand that.

I mean, it's certainly no problem at all.

What I'll do is I'll go back

and I'll tell Mr. Svatchi,

"Hey, he don't have the money."

And I'm sure he's going to understand.

- Oh, you can do that? - Oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, man, that'd be great.

- Really, I appreciate that. - Yeah, yeah, you're right.

That would be great.

- Stop it. Come on. - Look at this.

Do something.

[ thud ]

Hey, I'm getting the cops.

[ grunts ]

[ grunting ]

You little weasel.

If it wasn't for Svatchi, you wouldn't have a business.

Now, I want the rest of that money by tomorrow morning

or there just might be a little barbecue around here--

a human barbecue.

Oh, yeah.

My set better be ready.

[ thud ]

Phil: Are you all right?

Bob: Oh, animals.

Svatchi's going to ruin my life.

Listen, Bob, is there anything I can do?

Do you want me to take a cut in pay or something?

No, no. That wouldn't make any difference.

Look, don't worry about it.

I'll make a few phone calls.

I'll raise the money, all right?

Maybe there's a better way.

Svatchi: Some psycho is killing our guys.

The cops don't give a damn.

To hell with them.

We're not gonna let our guys disappear without a war.

We're dealing with a sick, sick individual.

We got to take this guy out.

Svatchi says if we let him get away with this stuff,

we're going to start to lose our turf.

I say we shake up the Packman.

He must know him.

And we got to get some guns, man.

This guy has got a tank on him.

Svatchi says he can get us some guns, big ones.

And when we find this guy,

when I find him,

I am personally going to remove

his duodenal intestine.

[ grunting ]

Svatchi: Who was it? You know who it was.

He was there to protect you.

[ grunts ]

- Who? - No, please.

I don't know anything.

I swear I never saw him before in my life.

[ music plays on TV ]

Man: Isn't there any hope for him, Doc?

Doctor: I'm afraid not. He's just too weak.

Reporter: And now the news.

Good evening, ladies and gentleman.

Tonight, because of your lack of enthusiasm,

we are preempting this show

to bring you this crime update.

This isn't gonna work, B.

Two nights in a row is enough.

What are you doing in there anyway?

Take a look.

Maybe next time you'll listen to me.

Our lead story for the night.

No. Look, B, don't. Please.

[ thumping ]

Come on.

Stop, come on, stop.

[ grunts ]

Don't do this. Stop it.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this could've been avoided

but someone refused to go out tonight.

He wanted the day off.

Just another example of the indifference

and apathy in our society today.

[ exhaling ]

B, damn you! Take it off!

Look, this isn't my fault, you know.

You're the one who made me go there in the first place.

All I wanted was his money.

They never would've done this except for you.

Damn you, B! Damn you.

It's not my fault.

I said turn it off!

[ glass breaks ]

Your show has just been cancelled.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

That's not fair, B.

That's just not fair.

Reporter: Police are investigating the brutal torture murder

of a store owner last night.

I found a problem with that guy's TV.

Two of the boards, you know,

they're going to need a lot of work.

- It'll take a while. - Oh, boy.

- He's gonna be here in 30 minutes. - Yeah.

There's no way that it'll hold up?

No. If he picks it up and takes it home,

you know, and they blow, they'll be back right?

Yeah, okay. All right.

- But I need it by 4:00, all right? - I'll try.

Beatrice: Now, you're showing a little initiative.

Don't worry, I'm here.

[ sighs ]

So this is more your style, huh?

You know, so long as it gets the job done.

It's not about style, B.

Do you think I was a violinist?

Beatrice: How are you working this?

Well, I got it fixed so that the set shorts out,

you know, when he turns it on.

And then 15 seconds later,

this boost will activate.

See, and it sends like 2000 extra amps

through the channel selector.

It should be a pretty electrifying show.

You think you can put this on the air tonight?

Well, I just want to see if it works.

[ drumming the counter ]

I'll see if it's ready. I'll be right back.

There you go.

Well, where there's a will,

there's a way. [ chuckles ]

Look, you got to speak to Svatchi for me.

It can't go on like this.

I mean, I'm gonna be run out of business.

It's Mr. Svatchi to you.

And save your song and dance for a musical.

- Where's my set? - Phil: Good as new.

This is the best repair man I've ever had.

All right. Let me check it out.

Plug it in.

- Huh? - Plug it in.

Uh-huh. Yeah. You, you know, this--

back to work.

He's a little eccentric, you know,

but that's the price you pay for talent.

- Yeah. - Hey, what happened?

Phil: Uh, circuit breaker, I guess.

Be careful back there. Come on.

All right. All right. Just give me the set. Give me the set

and I'll tell you something,

it better work.

- Hi, honey. - Yo, grandma.

I don't want to miss Cosby, pickle-dick.

Will you just relax, Grandma?

I'll turn it on in a minute, okay?

[ television clicks on ]

[ static ]

Oh, dear, how am I going to watch this?

I'm not sure I want to watch this.

Oh, come on, it's going to be great.

No, no, no, don't touch.

Grandma! Leave it alone.

You don't know what you're doing.

- [ sighs ] - [ exhales ]

- [ electric buzz ] - [ screaming ]

See?

With a positive attitude, you can do anything.

[ sighs ]

- You ready? - Ready for what?

- To go out. - Out?

Are you-- did you see that?

I'm not going anywhere.

- Honey - Now, don't try that either.

- What? - Sex.

- What? - And that won't work either.

- What? - That, right there.

What are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking about. I'm not going.

- Yes, you are. - No, we aren't.

♪ I've been dreading this moment since it began ♪

♪ Over my shoulder, I hear you closing in ♪

♪ It ain't easy--

Honey, where are you getting all these outfits?

There's this mall for people in limbo.

A mall?

You know, where you can get outfits.

Huh? What?

For roaming the earth in.

It's the only advantage to this thing, believe me.

Are you kidding me?

[ woman screaming ]

Come on, it's from over there.

[ screaming ]

Help me!

Help me!

All right. All right. This is them.

Let's do it.

Oh, I don't know. There's too many of them.

It's too dangerous.

God damn it! Now, honey,

you got an excuse for everything.

Now, just take out your gun and use it.

Hey, guys, you want to say goodbye to life?

[ gunshot ]

- Come on. - Get them.

Get them. Get them.

[ guns firing ]

Get them. Get them. Go, now!

Stop. Stop. All right.

Now, you fucking dickweed.

Now you're gonna curse the day

your mother gave you birth.

B. Beatrice, where are you?

- Honey, what can I do? - B.

Just shut your eyes and think of happier times.

That's what I did.

Oh, thanks! Great advice!

Man, who the fuck are you talking to?

[ guns firing ]

[ screaming ]

Come on, hop in.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Sherman.

[ guns firing ]

Hey hey, hey!

That's what I call collecting trash.

- Thanks for nothing. - What?

I just saved your life.

Oh, no, no. Not you.

Yes, of course, thank you.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Bloom: You can't keep dumping bodies in the water.

That's how the cops found the other one.

It washed right up on shore with the tide.

I retrieved the last one

and I disposed of 'em in the proper fashion.

- Proper fashion? - Yeah.

This is a landfill.

We have a dozen ways to dispose of trash

and that is what we are talking about, really, isn't it?

Why, trash is my life.

This is my promised landfill.

Look, over here is where we make re-fabricated bricks.

Now, instead of destroying the neighborhood,

he could help rebuild it.

Do you know that Jimmy Hoffa

is holding up a condo in Cleveland?

Efficient trash disposal is-- it's the American way.

You know, honey, he may have a point.

What? You mean we should-- oh, my God.

Look at-- how weird.

He's got two different colored eyes,

a blue one and a brown one.

- What? - I didn't say nothing.

I want them. Honey, take him for me.

- Are you out of your mind? - No.

It's the only logical way to do it.

- Yeah, yeah. - I just want a souvenir.

- I'll buy you a pendant. - I don't want a pendant.

No, look-- I'm not going to start mutilating bodies for your entertainment.

Who said anything about mutilating bodies?

Couldn't you just poke them out?

- No, I won't. - Then what are you gonna do?

You're going to dump him in the water?

The cops are gonna find him.

Look, again, I'm not talking to you.

- Honey. - No.

- Why not? - Please?

Look, you're right. Absolute-- you just go and do it.

- Yes, yes. - How about the eyes.

- No. - Yes?

No. No, no, no, no.

Okay. Just sit back, relax,

and let the good 'ol US of A technology do the rest.

See, no body, no crime, no fuss, no muss.

I did the same thing with the last one.

He's right over there.

[ chuckles ] Don't worry about that. It'll never show up.

We have been dumping all kinds of shit

into that river for years.

The fish are beginning to grow wings.

How do you stand the smell?

What smell?

What's going on here?

He was calling right over here.

He started talking to himself.

He was calling for someone

but there was no one there.

And he was getting awful upset,

and then out of nowhere--

Talking to himself.

You got an extra cigarette, pal?

Garbotron 1192, you can't go wrong.

Yeah, I hear it deodorizes the bags.

Listen, I was thinking about last night,

that gun business, that ain't gonna work.

That's too dangerous. You can't rely on that stuff.

You work for a repair shop, right?

- Huh? Huh? - Yeah.

I mean, you're good with your hands, right?

You fix gadgets, you mend doodads and things?

- Sure. - Huh? Well, I was thinking--

[ whispering ]

You're going to like this, B.

[ laughs ]

All right.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What do you think?

Sheesh! You'll get a close shave.

- Put that on. - Yeah.

Slip onto the back, open and close.

- [ squeaking ] - Oh, so you just reach for that, okay.

- Exactly. - Yeah.

[ whirring ]

Put two up whatever goes, you know, pass--

Certainly, puts it up and it regurgitates it right out.

- Sure. - Into the vac.

- So I need to fit it in here? - Into the vac.

- [ sizzling ] - Beatrice: Hey!

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, I'm sorry. Jeez, I was just testing it out.

- Relax. - I am relaxed.

Man: An incident occurred

which was destined to startle the civilized world.

[ knocking ]

- Uh, yes? - Woman: Oh, excuse me.

Oh, I am-- I'm so sorry to bother you

but I was wondering, you see,

the lights have gone out in my house

and I know that you happen to work in a repair shop.

- Right. - And so I was wondering--

well, could you come take a look at my fuse box?

- Sure. - Okay.

- I'll just get a jacket. - Okay. Good.

B? I'm just gonna check out her fuse box,

all right? I'll be right back.

- Can you get-- - Oh, here, let me-- sure.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, there's your problem.

- The main circuit is blown. - Uh-huh.

Do you have any spare fuses?

Oh, I don't know.

My husband used to keep everything in here.

He-- since he left, I don't know

where anything is anymore.

You know, it's so difficult

not having a man around the house.

Were any of these any good?

This one's fine.

- [ laughs ] - Okay.

- [ electricity whirring ] - There you go.

[ laughs ]

- Thank you so much. - No problem.

You-- I don't know what I would've done

- if you weren't around. - Please--

Can I make you something to eat?

I'd like to. Let me make you a steak.

It only takes a minute.

I really should be getting home. Don't bother.

Please. It's no bother. I'd like to.

Been so long since I've cooked for someone other than myself.

You've been so helpful with the lights.

Come on, come and join me.

♪ Please stay with me tonight ♪

♪ Hold me till the morning comes and I won't ever-- ♪

Woman: Get your hands off me.

Now, I know you're insane.

That's become an obsession with you.

Man: Still young enough to have a fighting chance.

Did you enjoy your little date?

It wasn't a date.

She needed help, I fixed her fuse.

- That's all. - You fixed her fuse.

I know what you're doing.

You think you can just drop me like that?

- You bigamist. - Really!

B, it was nothing. I swear--

I've never seen you this jealous before, even when you were alive.

- And I don't like this Bloom character. - Why? What's wrong with him?

He's troubled. He's-- he's taken over everything.

- Who made him the boss all of a sudden? - He's not the boss.

It's just, you know, he's got some good ideas

and I'll feel better with a partner out on the street.

I'm your partner. What about me?

Yes, you're my partner

but I need someone who can actually help me, you know,

not just give advice like,

"Close your eyes and think of happier times."

Honey, that's not what I'd call help.

- What are you looking at? - Nothing.

- What-- - No, nothing, hon.

You think it's easy keeping yourself together, huh?

I know I'm falling apart, I know.

You look great, honey.

Maybe I could use like a really strong moisturizer.

Reporter: This just in-- fire fighters are battling

a raging fire in Bob's TV repair shop on Maple Street.

So far the fire has been confined to the shop

which is surrounded by stores on each side.

The owner of the shop Bob, was reported trapped inside

and fire fighters were unable to save him

because of the flames and heat.

Police suspect arson is the cause of the fire.

Fire commissioners reported a kerosene odor coming from the shop.

Police are questioning neighbors and residents

but right now there are no leads and no witnesses.

Did you hear the news?

Let's get rolling, partner.

All right. See you.

Let's find the bastard.

All right. Let's split up.

I'll take the three, you follow these two.

We'll meet back later, dispose of the trash.

B? Beatrice? Where are you?

B? You're not still mad about that--

look, honey, I will never see her again, okay?

Never. B?

Look, you got to stick with me on this thing, okay?

It's your idea, remember?

Oh, no, where did they go?

I was fixing her fuse.

I swear, there was nothing going on.

Look, I'm doing this for you.

You can't just leave. Not now. B?

- [ gasps ] - Hey, look, it's him.

No, no, it's not. It's not him.

You're coming with us, pal. Svatchi wants to have a chat.

- B? Beatrice! - Shut up.

Look at this. A water pistol.

[ screaming ]

[ whirring ]

[ screaming ]

All right.

Yo, trash!

What the--

[ gunshots ]

[ screaming ]

[ gunshot ]

[ screaming ]

[ gunshots ]

Paul: Please, B.

Look at you. You can't just leave me.

Look, I'm doing what you want me to do, aren't I?

B, don't be mad. I need you.

Why don't you get your girlfriend to help you?

[ screaming ]

Why did you do that? Why?

I don't ever want you seeing her again.

I told you I wouldn't and I won't.

Keep it that way. Promise?

I just don't want to lose you.

You're not going to lose me.

How could you even think that?

But you got to be a little less neurotic, honey.

You didn't take the body to the landfill.

- Bloom will be disappointed. - Are you kidding?

You're lucky I didn't have a heart attack. Don't ever do that again.

Welcome home, Mr. Bailey.

Look, "It's a Wonderful Life."

Mary, Mary, where did you-- what?

♪ I love you truly

- ♪ Truly, dear - ♪ Truly, dear

Reporter: Police are investigating a bizarre murder

in the Park Hill section of Queens last night.

A reported headless body was found

lying in the warehouse district by a night watchman

who came upon it while inspecting the alarm system.

There has been no identification

and police have no leads or witnesses to the attack.

- Hi. - Hi.

- What, are you trying to kill me? - What happened?

Nothing worked. I was almost insinuated by my own weapons.

Oh, God. I guess I haven't worked out all the bugs yet.

Yes.

So how did it go for you?

I had some trouble, too.

[ scoffs ] Look, this ain't going to work.

I mean, stalking them on the streets.

We get them in one position

- and we dispose of 'em at the same time. - Yeah.

Dispatcher: All units, all units, please respond to a 5-14--

Oh, damn. Oh, it's Brophy.

- What does he want? - I don't know.

But we're going to have to be more careful from now on.

You should go out through the back.

I'll see you tonight.

♪ The only way I know

[ door closes ]

♪ What can I do to make--

[ door open chiming ]

It will all work tonight. I guarantee it.

Yes. I hope so.

[ knocks at door ]

It's Brophy. What am I gonna tell him?

Well, let's see.

Tell him you're enlarging the kitchen.

I always want to add another room anyway.

All right. That's good.

- What is? - You stay out of sight.

I know what's been going on.

Hello, Detective Brophy.

Come right in. What can I do for you?

What the hell happened here?

Oh, the mess.

I have to apologize for that.

I'm adding a new room under the kitchen

and I kind of got carried away.

Well, you know, with my wife gone,

it's so hard to keep things clean.

Oh, I'd say you got carried away with a lot of things.

- Oh? - I know it's you.

I know what you've been doing.

Brophy: What do you think? Because you've been victimized

you can get away with anything?

You're wrong.

It's just a matter of time. Believe me.

I'll see you again.

Bloom: Hey, Brophy.

I'm surprised that you still have a job

with all the crap that's been going on.

- Isn't it obvious-- - Why is he provoking him?

He can't help himself. It's fun.

That way, you can help the trash.

[ tapping on window ]

I still don't see how going to a topless bar

fits into this strategy.

Don't worry. I just hope Bloom is ready.

I got a plan.

[ door slamming ]

Hey, hey, hey. We're closed.

- Get out of here. - I'll have a beer

and a scotch and soda for my wife.

- Do you know where you are? - Yeah.

Earth, isn't it?

Unless, I made a wrong turn some--

Listen, hey, do you have a beer?

- Yeah. We have beer. - Oh, good.

'Cause I'd really, really like one.

Yeah. Fine. Coming up.

- There you go. - Yeah. Here.

And a scotch and soda.

For my wife, remember?

- Yeah. - Good.

Did you tell him we were closed?

- Yeah. - There you go.

- Keep the change. - Thanks.

Hi, guys. Say, do you mind?

You're standing in front of my beautiful wife.

He's a fucking nutcase.

Yo, shit for brains, get the fuck out of here.

Sure, fellas. As soon as I finish my beer here.

Is that okay with you, honey?

What's going on out here?

Dumb fucking nut don't want to leave, Svatch.

Well, throw the fucker out.

Svatch. Are you Svatchi?

Jeez. I never expected you to be such a fat, disgusting pig.

- This guy is enormous. - Get him out of here!

- And is that his real hair? - And kick this fucking ass!

What happened? You were doing so good there for a while.

Look, it's part of my strategy.

See, now, I got their attention.

Well, what is your plan?

You go in there, get beat up and thrown out.

- Right. - And now what?

You go back in again?

Well, yeah. I mean, when you put it like that,

it loses some of its, you know,

its majesty, but just, look, come on.

Hi, guys.

Hi, guys. Remember me?

It's him. The guy from the house.

After them!

Dispatcher: All units, all units, please respond

to a 5-14 in progress.

Officer needs assistance. It's at 321 Clinton Avenue.

Repeat-- 321 Clinton Avenue.

All units in the vicinity, please--

[ gunshots ]

[ shouting ]

Okay. Go.

Break it in!

Oh.

- [ guns firing ] - [ laughing ]

Hey! Try this.

[ tires screeching ]

Svatch: You fucking moron!

Damn! That was crystal.

You can always move the pieces to the right.

Now I'm never going to get this place clean.

I've been hit...

by a fork.

[ grunting ]

The hell with this,

let's beat it out of here.

Come back here, you fucking cowards!

Come back!

We have to make one final assault

and go out in a blaze of disposable glory.

Man: Let's go.

You know, for so long, my life had been empty.

No meaning. No purpose.

These last few days have been the greatest time of my life,

even greater than the Korean police action.

It's like a déjà vu all over again.

I see it, Paulie. I see it.

They got a trash problem up in heaven

and they're calling me to straighten that out.

I've been saving these since Panmunjom.

I always knew they'd come in handy.

[ thumping and clattering ]

Okay. You go upstairs while you still got time.

I'll hold them here as long as I can.

No. That's crazy. It's not over yet.

Hey, come on. There's so many of them.

Now, you go on up there while you still got time.

No, Sherm, I can't do that. You should come too.

[ thumping ]

Private, you get your butt up those stairs

and take the howitzer now. That's an order.

I guess I misjudged the man. I'm sorry.

[ thumping ]

[ explosion ]

Drive!

[ engine starting ]

Svatchi, you are the biggest fucking coward of 'em all!

Could you watch your language?

There are children in this neighborhood.

[ gunshot ]

I'm not gonna let this fuck go.

Yeah, hello, operator. I'm having trouble getting 911.

Could you connect me with the police?

[ door slams ]

You barbarian!

[ whispers ] It's pretty quiet.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Maybe I should take a look.

[ gun firing ]

So much for that idea.

- Let me see. - [ winces ]

Oh, it went straight through.

You'll be all right.

I can feel you.

[ Razorface grunts ]

Oh, get back.

This is him. This is the one who killed me.

I don't want you to go down without a fight, you hear me?

Don't worry. I won't. This is it, though, right?

I mean, this is the one that when he's gone, it's over, right?

- Then I can rest in peace. - [ grunts ]

You know, none of this would have happened

if we just got that beach house.

Yeah. But I could have been happy here.

This place had a lot of potential.

Well, you take care of yourself then, okay?

Get a good rest and I'll see you in about 40 or 50 years.

Oh, you better take care of the matter at hand

- or you'll be seeing me a lot sooner. - Right.

I appreciate your concern, but don't worry.

I'm going to get a very good rest.

In the meantime, I need to borrow something from you

for a friend of mine.

You see, he needs a pair of eyes

because some psycho cut them out his--

right out of his freaking head.

You know what I mean?

You freaking scuzzface pus-headed slime ball.

- He seems upset. - Yeah.

I'd say he's pretty upset. Yeah.

Shut up, you psycho!

- Your craziness will make me enjoy this even more. - [ screaming ]

Beatrice: No, no, honey! Don't let him do that.

[ screaming ]

[ thud ]

[ sneers ]

What, are you gonna wash up before I carve out your face?

Maybe do some dishes,

you wussy piece of maggot crud.

Now, come to papa.

- [ whirring ] - What the--

[ screaming ]

[ panting ]

Beatrice: Now, get out of here, Paul.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Dispatcher: Calling car 11, car 11,

please proceed to a B&E

at the Concord Diner, 552 Roy Street.

That's 552 Roy Street.

What the hell?

Reporter: Still no leads in the psycho killing spree

that police were so close to breaking at one point.

And this report from last night,

police are investigating a bizarre murder

on the South Jersey Shore.

The remains of small time mobster

Vito Svatchi's body were found--

Hey, neighbor, still plenty of trash

just waiting to be disposed of.

Well, we'll get right to work, the both of us,

cleaning up every neighborhood and city in the country.

Invent all new ways of doing it, too.

All right.

Have you seen that new trash line 4500 automatic mulching device?

That is a beaut. Why, with a little alteration,

we could get that machine running this way, that way, all around the town,

eating out of the palms of our hands if we want to, Paulie.

Paulie?

[ jazz music playing ]

[ rock music playing ]

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Uh-huh

♪ I can't believe what I'm seeing ♪

♪ I must be losing my mind

♪ They say that seeing is believing ♪

♪ But baby, not this time

♪ She was on the train bound for heaven ♪

♪ But somewhere, somehow, it slipped off the tracks ♪

- ♪ And now, she's back - ♪ Well, she's back

- ♪ And now, she's back - ♪ Well, she's back

- ♪ And now, she's back - ♪ Well, she's back

- ♪ And now, she's back - ♪ Ooh

♪ I can't believe what I'm doing ♪

♪ She made a killer of me

♪ The life of crime I'm pursuing ♪

♪ Now it just don't agree

♪ She was on the train bound for heaven ♪

♪ But somewhere, somehow it slipped off the tracks ♪

- ♪ And now, she's back - ♪ Well, she's back

- ♪ And now, she's back - ♪ Well, she's back

♪ And now, she's back.