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Downloaded from YTS.BZ

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* Oh we willing *

* We drinking cherry wine and *

* We dancing on an island *

* We go and pop the finest *

* Ya, ya, ya, mix tequila *

* Call me senorita *

* Ay papi got me dreaming *

* My legs up on the ceiling *

* Oh yeah, yeah, yeah *

* I know when he come, come he ain't ever gonna leave no *

* Hit it then I run, run that's the way I wanna be *

* So don't think I'm the one one two won't ever be enough *

* Mixing 'til I'm numb *

* Bitch I ain't the one *

* He don't want love, love, love *

* He just wanna fu, fu *

* Oh little baecation *

* Drinking 'til we naked *

* Talking with our tongue, tongue, tongues *

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

(upbeat music)

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

(upbeat music)

* We just having fu, fu, fu *

* Give a little piecy of my meat *

* Got some body *

* Touch up on my rum bum, bum craving that Bacardi *

* Got him talkin' dirty in the daylight *

* He be tryna' wife it baby no psych *

* Don't be getting stringy issa wifi *

* Hit and run like *

* I know when he come, come he ain't ever gonna leave no *

* Hit it then I run, run that's the way I wanna be *

* So don't think I'm the one one two won't ever be enough *

* Mixing 'til I'm numb *

* Bitch I ain't the one *

* He don't want love, love, love *

* He just wanna fu, fu, fu *

- Naomi, why don't you start, tell me why you're here.

- Well, okay.

So Richard and I have been together

for five years now, right?

He is the love of my life, my best friend.

And I can't wait to marry him.

It's just lately Richard has been

a little caught up in Richard.

- That's not true.

Why would you say something. - Richard,

I thought we agreed not to interrupt each other.

- You're right.

I'm sorry, my bad, right.

- Naomi, please elaborate a little bit more

about Richard being wrapped up in himself.

- Let me start with the beginning.

He used to be so attentive, affectionate,

passionate about life, about me.

Our sex life was amazing.

And recently he is consumed with work and making money.

Don't get me wrong, Richard has provided

a very comfortable life for us both.

But just, I wish we could

enjoy some of this life together, you know.

- Okay, Naomi, thank you for sharing.

Richard, the floor is yours.

- I love Naomi.

She's my Michelle Obama, my Coretta.

There's nothing that I wouldn't do for her.

The fact that I even agreed to marriage counseling,

before we were married, should speak volumes.

- I agree, most couples do think

that therapy is a waste of time, especially men.

However, there are other things.

What about time?

- Yes okay, I don't have a lot of time.

It's because I'm trying to provide a life

for my soon to be wife and eventually our children.

My father worked, I worked, his father worked.

My father always said if a man doesn't work

then he's not a man.

- I totally understand.

Most African American men grew up in a household

without a father.

And the ones that did grow up with a father in the household

are conditioned to work and provide.

- Exactly.

- Ah, however, this leaves the needs of a woman unmet.

And I caution you because that often leads to infidelity.

- But we haven't.

- I am not

having an affair. - We're not having an affair.

- Good.

Okay, so with that being said,

Richard, I challenge you

to be a little bit more spontaneous.

(Naomi laughing)

- Sorry.

Good luck with that.

(Naomi laughing)

- Okay Naomi,

I need you to be a little bit more supportive and positive.

- Thank you.

- So the holidays are coming up.

Is there something that you can do

to bring a spark in the relationship, Richard?

- The holidays are coming up and I need to work.

So I'm gonna work through Christmas Eve and.

- I'm gonna fly out to my parents

and spend Christmas there.

But Richard hasn't decided yet if he's going to join me.

- I'm working.

If I don't work, then.

Listen, this is the last quarter of the year.

We have to finish strong.

- So where's the disconnect?

- You know what, it's like she wants

to take a vacation or something or go to some remote island.

- Why not?

That sounds exactly like what the two of you need.

- What, me on a remote island,

with no internet, no phone service?

My employees need 24 access to me.

- What about me?

- I love you.

I'm 100% committed to you.

- I don't know.

How about screwing me in the middle of the day sometime.

- Whoa, you in front of her, you just.

- Richard. - I mean.

- That's so counterproductive.

This is why you don't have a job now.

- Do you see what I'm dealing with?

- [Leslie] Okay.

- I can't, I can't, I'm sorry.

I can't deal with this.

I mean, this is what I'm dealing with.

He won't even decide if.

What's more important, Richard, for Christmas?

Do you wanna spend Christmas with your employees or me?

Make a decision and let me know, okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm done, I'm sorry.

- Thank you. - Naomi.

- [Naomi] I can't.

- Doc, I'm running outta ideas here.

- Richard, did you at least buy her a Christmas gift?

- No, my assistant usually handles that.

- Richard, as a woman myself,

I challenge you to buy Naomi a Christmas gift.

Not your assistant, you.

- Okay.

- Okay, good.

So we'll reconvene after the holidays

and hopefully after that some things will have changed.

(gentle upbeat music)

If I can take off for the holidays, I'm sure you can too.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Hmm, okay.

- Okay.

- Well thank you doctor.

- Not a problem, my pleasure.

- I'll see you around.

(gentle upbeat music)

Hey.

- Hey.

- Interesting session today.

- Yeah.

- I'll leave you to it.

- Richard, do you want this to work?

- Of course I do.

I love you Na.

- I love you too.

- I tell you what,

I'll meet you at your parents in a couple days, all right.

- Okay, just be there by Christmas Eve

'cause we have Christmas dinner okay.

- Yeah, I'll have Roxanne book me a flight tomorrow.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, come on, there's no need to thank me.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

You just remember to meet me under the mistletoe.

- I will.

(both laughing)

- This it?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- I'll meet you at the car, okay.

- Yeah.

(footsteps crunching)

(birds chirping)

(alarm beeping)

- I'm late.

(gentle upbeat music)

Oh shit.

(gentle upbeat music)

Ow.

You scared the hell outta me.

- You scared the hell outta me.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm eating cereal.

- So you come to my house to eat my cereal?

- Nah, our cereal.

Come on man, you ain't gotta be like that.

- I'm pretty sure you passed at least five places

before you got here.

- Ain't nobody passed on five places.

I passed 10.

And why would I do that, it's less expensive and it's free.

- How did you get in here?

- Come on, everybody and their mama

know you predictable, man.

You go to the back door in that plant,

you gonna see the key right there.

- Damn.

- Yeah, you so predictable.

- Now you starting to sound like Naomi.

- No, you sound like you about to get robbed.

- Well, don't put that in the universe.

- I'm not, ain't nobody, I'm talking to you.

What are you talking about?

- You gotta take your cereal to go,

I'm already running late.

- Come on man.

Y'all light-skinned people need to get it together.

- You just gonna.

- 'Cause that's glass bowl.

Come on man.

You don't supposed to take no glass bowl out the house.

Hanging around white people too long, I told you.

- You gonna drink that?

- Oh yeah, you know, drink that.

We finish it.

All right.

I'ma clean that later.

(footsteps thudding)

(gentle upbeat music)

(Richard sighing)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Alvin, what are you doing?

- Getting in the car, if you unlock the door.

- Alvin, Alvin, I already told you I'm running late.

I can't do it.

- Richard, Richard, come on man.

It's impossible for you to be late, you the boss.

Come now unlock the door.

- Have you been talking to Naomi?

- You know, I don't talk to white people like that.

- I told you I can't do it, I gotta go to work.

- Okay, guess what?

I know you can't do it, but you can drop me off on the way.

- Drop you off where?

- At your business.

Now unlock the door, we about to be late.

- Get in the car.

Get in the car.

- Man, yell at me like you my daddy.

(car door thudding)

(gentle upbeat music)

(car engines revving)

(gentle upbeat music)

- All right, where do you want me to drop you?

- Just keep driving, I'll tell you when to stop.

This is nice.

When you get this?

- Thanks, I just got it a couple weeks ago.

- Oh, nice.

Yeah, you should let me drive.

(Alvin laughing)

- No.

- Come on, just down the street.

Come on cuz, I mean, just down the block.

- No.

- Man, I just wanna stump for the gram one time.

- When the last time you drove a car?

- Really, you gonna ask that?

Semantics.

- [Richard] You know what?

Get out.

- [Alvin] What?

- Get out.

I gotta go to work, I'm late.

- [Alvin] Man, what?

- [Richard] Get out the car.

Get out the car.

Wasn't nobody like you no way.

(car engine revving)

(keyboard keys clacking)

(birds chirping)

(cellphone buttons beeping)

(birds chirping)

(keyboard keys clacking)

- Damn.

Motherfucker, this is dangerous.

(gentle upbeat music)

(Alvin laughing)

Rich, what'd it do?

- Hey, I need you to meet me after work.

- Okay, cool.

Everything good?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I need you to do me a favor.

I need you to help me with something.

- Yeah, all right cool, I'll come to your house.

- Okay, cool.

Yeah, wait, why at my house?

- Because yo refrigerator one that got the food in it.

Come on man.

- Right.

Okay.

All right, I'll be there.

- Oh, by the way, what you uh,

what you cooking?

- Don't be late.

- 'Cause I'm hungry,

I'm over here eating my toenails and everything,

so I figure you can go.

Rich, hello?

Motherfucker hung up.

These motherfuckers not too bad though.

- No.

No.

Oh, no.

(gentle upbeat music)

No.

(Richard sighing)

I don't like any of these items.

(gentle upbeat music)

I hate Christmas shopping.

I hate that Naomi is so gung ho about Christmas anyway.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Ooh shit.

Get this motherfucker man.

(Alvin knocking)

(gentle upbeat music)

(Alvin knocking)

(gentle upbeat music)

- Who the damn, who is that?

- Oh shit.

(Alvin knocking)

Oh shit.

(Alvin knocking)

- Why you knocking on the door like that?

- 'Cause I ain't feel like walking to the back man.

- You're late.

- I'm not late, I had a thing.

- You had a thing?

- Yeah, you dunno what the thing is.

You know boobs at the hip,

Bada to there.

Mouth out.

You ain't never had a thing before, eh?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Look, I'm gonna hook you up

and tell you what the thing is.

But do me a favor, you cannot tell that white lady.

- Naomi.

- Same thing.

You smell that?

It's it's.

(door thudding)

It's cooking.

- What you doing?

- You don't smell to cooking?

- No, I didn't cook anything.

- Exactly.

So what are we eating?

(tongue clicking)

- So you really came over here just to eat?

What do you do? - No,

uh-uh, I came over to pick out the Christmas present

for what's her name?

- Naomi. - What's her name?

Yeah, her.

And food is just a bonus.

- Okay, I guess we could order a little seafood.

- Oh, I mean, yeah, of course I want seafood.

But you really gotta say that though.

You gotta throw the word little in there.

Look, I understand I'm the height of a kid,

but don't mean I got the appetite of one okay.

So if you get a little seafood,

make sure you get big sides.

- You can have big sides.

- Better.

Anyway, look man,

I was thinking we can kind of do,

you know, Christmas thing in here

'cause I wanna watch the game.

- My laptop's in the kitchen.

- All right, well take the TV to the kitchen.

- No.

- Cuz, don't do it like that.

Don't do it like that.

Don't do me like that.

- Take that.

No.

- Cuz

please.

Pretty please.

Pretty, pretty please.

Help me please.

(gentle upbeat music)

Ooh, that hit the spot.

You got any water, cuz?

- Yeah, check the fridge.

- Ah.

Ooh, you want one?

- Nah, you good.

- Shit, more for me then.

Closed mouth don't get fed.

Come on man.

Why you acting like that?

Like you ain't never done that shit before?

- What you talking about?

- Shopping for your girl.

- [Richard] Oh.

- You act like you ain't never bought her nothing.

- I bought her plenty of things.

- Okay, then you bought her plenty of things.

What have you bought her?

- Oh, her car, this house, just to name a few.

- Damn okay.

Well wait a minute why didn't you never

buy me nothing like that?

- I'll never buy you anything like that.

- But we family.

- Can we get to work?

- Come on man, you know what they say?

Blood thicker than what?

White people, exactly.

Watch out.

(tongue clicking)

Really?

- What?

- This this what you looking at?

- Come on man, these are great gifts, practical.

- Man, you shopping like you shopping for your grandmama.

Come on man.

- My grandmother will love these gifts.

- I know but you not shopping for your grandmamma.

If you get that for her,

you're never ever, ever, ever gonna have sex with her again.

Look in a different category.

- Okay.

Okay, hold on.

What about that?

Perfect right.

- Now you talking,

that's more than perfect.

- Yeah.

- If you get a that you definitely finna get some ass.

- That's good, because it's been a while.

- Really?

So you just gonna shake my hand like that?

Ain't no telling where your hand's been.

Come on man,

why you gotta do that?

- All right, so if that's it,

I'll order it and have it delivered.

- To my house.

Cool. - To your house, why?

- Why would you not brother?

Because guess what?

If you get it sent here, she'll get notified.

And when she get notified, guess what?

It's the spontaneity.

- It's gonna ruin the spontaneity?

- Yeah.

And you don't want, or the surprise,

same thing as surprise, same word,

I just used a bigger word.

I'm got a good study of my vocabulary words.

(both laughing)

- Okay.

All right.

So have it delivered to your house again, why?

- She get notified by it and everything.

Because think about it,

anytime you leave the house or come back,

does her phone get notified?

- Yeah.

- Okay, when the bank account clear, does she get notified?

- Yeah.

- And last but not least,

whenever you buy me something though,

does she get notified?

- I mean, no,

because I never buy you anything.

- My point exactly.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Okay.

I'll have it delivered at your house.

- Cool.

'Cause cuz come on, when have I ever steered you wrong?

(Alvin laughing)

- Are you really gonna sit here and act like that?

- What are you talking about?

I don't know, I don't know.

- You made me cut off all of my hair.

Walking around like a cancer patient.

- But, but, but, it ended up growing back.

'Cause think about it, like when you get older like,

and the stuff grow back, it's called sematics.

- Semantics.

- Same thing cuz.

Look man, you gotta let that go man.

- Let it go?

- Yeah.

Come on man, we too old for that now.

- All right, this is gonna be at your house tomorrow.

Please don't mess this up.

- I won't.

Ooh, touchdown baby.

- What you doing?

- Watching the game?

How much you pay for a TV like that anyway?

(gentle upbeat music)

- A lot.

- Oh, okay.

Cool.

But how much you know?

- You can't afford a TV like that.

- Hey man, hey you mind your business,

don't know about my pockets.

You don't know if I'm finna

borrow the money from you anyway.

- Right, of course you are.

All right.

- We ready to ride like Clyde?

- You can go home.

- I ain't, how am I?

Can you gimme a ride?

- Let's go.

(footsteps thudding)

- Oh, the,

the water.

- [Richard] Oh shit.

(wind gushing)

(birds chirping)

(gentle upbeat music)

- Ooh.

Aah.

There it go, there it go, there it go.

Ah.

(Alvin laughing)

Love you too.

Right there, the spot.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Hey.

- Hey.

It's okay.

- Yo.

- Yo.

(Alvin laughing)

- Yo.

- Yo.

Quit hitting me.

That's a little, Whoopie.

- Yo.

- Oh.

What?

Messing up a good dream I was having.

Whoopie was massaging my head.

Oprah was getting my feet.

Oh man.

- That's what you're dreaming about?

- Why not, they rich.

- Okay.

I need you to wake up.

- All right, yeah, but what time

the package supposed to be coming anyway, man?

- Around three, three to six.

- Okay, so well, I can go to sleep right now

until the package get here.

Messing up my perfectly good dream brother.

Anyway,

Whoopie where were we?

(Alvin laughing)

Oprah, you so stupid.

(Alvin laughing)

Ow.

- I need you to get up.

(Alvin moaning)

- I'm getting up.

Okay, let's go, let's go, I'm following you, come on.

- Hey, listen, if you're gonna have those kind of dreams

about those women, please don't do it here.

Do it at your own house.

- Okay, I got it.

- All right.

- [Alvin] Okay.

- I'm getting ready to go.

I need you to be on time.

I'll meet you after work.

- All right, meet you after work.

Let's go.

You see I'm getting up,

I'm getting up, I'm behind you.

You see I'm getting up.

You keep coming back.

It's follow the leader, dang.

Okay, yeah, I sat back.

See, if you come back, I sit down.

You see that?

It's straight forward what we doing?

(footsteps thudding)

I'm behind you.

Messing up a perfectly good dream.

(gentle upbeat music)

Ah, Oprah can't wait 'til you gimme some money.

(cellphone vibrating)

Phone?

(gentle upbeat music)

Let me see.

Hello.

- Alvin, I need you to wake up.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, I'm up.

Damn, don't see me behind you?

You damn blood hound.

(gentle upbeat music)

Shit.

Can't do nothing.

I guess I can't do this in peace.

Whoopie and Oprah.

(gentle upbeat music)

(footsteps crunching)

Who did that?

Ay.

Tripping me and shit.

Can't get a package on a empty stomach.

Can't get it.

(gentle upbeat music)

(cereal crunching)

(keyboard keys clacking)

- Oh.

(Richard sighing)

(chair thudding)

(gentle upbeat music)

- [Alvin] So wait, what's the name of this game again?

- "Street Fighters."

- "Street fighters" all right.

So help me pick the character.

Who is, who is that dude over there?

- That's E. Honda.

- E. Honda.

Okay.

And the other, I don't want no E. Honda.

What's the other person's name?

- Ryu.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'ma get him.

So who you getting?

- E. Honda.

- Oh, so you just gonna get the same person

who you just told me the, the fat guy.

That's why I didn't want him 'cause he big.

Don't sit on me.

Don't sit on me, you better not.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, how you punch,

how you punch, how you punch?

Which one, which one?

- This one.

- Okay, now how you kick?

- Circle.

- Gotcha.

(Alvin laughing)

That's all I'm doing.

That's all I'm doing.

Ah, hold on, how you block, how you block, how you block?

Come on man.

- I'm not telling you.

- Oh, oh, ah, man.

Come on man.

You just cheated like that.

(footsteps thudding)

- Hey baby.

- Hey.

- What's wrong?

- The car won't start.

Oh shit.

- Oh, that's strange, it's a new car.

- Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

Damn.

- Well, at least it's under warranty.

- So I gotta try to get a tow.

It's gonna be tough because

it's a couple days before Christmas.

If we gonna be honest,

I don't feel comfortable leaving it over the holiday.

- I knew you were gonna try to get out of this.

- No, I.

Yes babe, I'll be there.

- Well, I'm not gonna get my hopes up

so that when you don't come, I won't be disappointed.

Look, I gotta,

I gotta go help my mom with something.

I'll talk to you later.

- Okay.

- Bye. - I love

you.

(Richard sighing)

Three.

Oh.

Al, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.

Hey Al, hey.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Mike,

come on man.

Don't you see yourself cheating on my TV?

- Yeah, I can't even see on this TV, it's too small.

- Oh wait, hold on.

Wait, what you trying to say?

- This TV is the size of my phone screen.

- Your phone screen, you got a phone?

- Yeah.

- I thought you only eight.

- Yeah, right here.

- Oh, so you, oh, okay,

so you gonna try to call my TV small?

Yep, my TV not small, your forehead too big.

That's why your eyes is a little,

to make it seem like the TV big.

You got a big forehead, did you know that?

Okay then, all right, man.

(birds chirping)

- Al.

(tongue clicking)

Man.

- Let's make a bet on this second game.

I'm gonna still pick the Bison dude, how about that?

- And the bet is if you lose, you owe me $20.

- $20.

Okay, cool, I'll borrow some money from Richard.

If you lose, I want them shoes, okay.

- Don't crease them.

- Ain't nobody finna crease them.

Come on man, I know how to wear tennis shoes.

I wear 'em sometimes.

I don't wear 'em.

What size is them though, first?

- Maybe four.

- Oh, they too big.

But I'll make 'em work.

All right, you got a bet.

Let's get it.

(birds chirping)

- Let me just order this Uber.

(birds chirping)

Three minutes.

(Richard sighing)

(footsteps thudding)

- Come on, come on, come on man.

(Alvin screaming)

Man, you stay cheating man.

Come on man.

All right, look.

- I'm cheating, I'm cheating?

- Whatever, look, I ain't got $20 in cash.

So how you want me to pay you?

- Cash App?

- Wait, you eight-years-old, you know about Cash App?

Man, hold on, that's crazy, man wait,

when your mama coming to get you?

This is crazy.

This is crazy. - Oh the taxi's here

- You got a taxi?

(gentle upbeat music)

Hey, that's my controller.

(gentle upbeat music)

Man, I knew I should have been his daddy,

if I didn't jump out that window.

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

(upbeat music)

- Richard.

- Maslow?

- Yes, I am Maslow. - Oh good.

Ooh.

(Richard moaning)

- How we doing?

- [Richard] Oh, doing well man?

(gentle upbeat music)

* I know when he come, come *

- Whoo.

- Yo.

- Oh, what's up cuz?

It's cold out here.

- Oh.

Why didn't you answer your phone?

- What you called me?

- At least three times.

- Hold on, fit that on something.

I ain't got no missed call.

My phone must have been on silent or something.

Where your car at?

- Oh, I had to leave it at the office.

- Oh.

You ran outta gas?

(Alvin laughing)

- No, I didn't run outta gas but it wouldn't start.

- So wait, how'd you get here?

- I had to catch a Uber.

- Why didn't you call me?

- I did call you, you didn't answer.

- Put that on your mama.

- Plus you don't have a car or a license.

- See now you getting in my business.

Don't worry about me.

I'd have caught a lift.

Semantics, okay.

- Shit.

- Anyway, you got your flight booked?

- Oh shit.

- See now you ain't got no car, no license

and you haven't booked your flight.

- I forgot to tell Roxanne to book that flight.

- Okay, well let's go inside.

- Come on.

God damn.

- All right, you made it.

Sure man.

Hey, the gift came early.

It's all there.

- That's it.

- That's it my guy.

(Alvin laughing)

I'm waiting to open it.

You want me to go first?

- No, I got it.

(gentle upbeat music)

- All right, come on.

Ooh. - Oh.

(both laughing)

Stop.

- Come on man, why you ain't never bought me

nothing that nice?

Oh man. - Okay.

Lemme check these flights.

- What they looking like?

- All the flights are booked?

- No, hey, hey, hold on, it can't be.

Check again.

- What else can go wrong today?

- Oh, plenty of things could go wrong.

Think about it.

If you had an STD, that could go wrong.

If you owe Little Mike $20.

- What?

- That can go.

You know what?

Don't even worry about that.

We need to find out how to focus

and get this package to Naomi's parents' house by tomorrow.

- I could drive.

- How you gonna drive when your car can't start?

(gentle upbeat music)

- I could rent a car.

- Oh, you can rent a car

and then you thinking real dumb like me without a brain.

You just said the flight's booked up.

You know the car's gonna be booked up on Christmas too.

- You know what?

- Oh, so banging your pocket is gonna make you find it.

You know what, I'm gonna do the same thing.

- Wait, wait, wait, my wallet.

- Hold on, hold on, wait, wait, our money?

- What do you mean our money?

- We family, we share the same wallet man, come on.

Think Richard.

(Richard sighing)

How gonna get to Naomi parents' house?

You ain't got no wallet, your car won't start,

your really stink, your outfit ugly.

(person knocking)

- I don't.

You expecting someone?

- No.

(gentle upbeat music)

(person knocking)

I forgot.

Oh, Little Mike's $20.

(Alvin crying)

Oh my.

- What are you doing?

- Money, I owe Little Mike money.

- [Richard] Can I help you?

- Thank you.

- [Alvin] Hold on.

- It's me, Maslow,

- [Alvin] Who is that?

- It's the Uber driver.

- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Little Mike sent you?

What's this about?

- It's the Uber driver.

- Yes, it's me Maslow. - I don't know,

I don't know if you know how this normally works,

but I usually tip inside the app.

- Yeah, so take. - Oh no, no, no, no.

- Oh, see he got a gun.

Told you Mike sent him.

- You left it in the car.

- My wallet, it's okay, you can come out.

The Uber driver had my wallet.

- Oh, he had your wallet?

- Yeah.

- Hold on.

How he, how he get your wallet?

He robbed you?

- How did he rob me, Alvin?

- Because he finna pull that gun out.

- He doesn't have a gun, he brought me back my wallet.

- He brought you back your wallet,

your wallet got money in it?

- Yes.

- Did you check?

- No.

- You so naive.

Come on man.

- Come on man, I think he's trustworthy.

- Oh, that's the same thing rich people say,

but naive. - If I may.

- No, you may not.

- Yes.

- Thank you.

Maslow is not thief.

Maslow is a good person.

Yeah. - A good person.

(Alvin laughing)

- Hey, why is your Uber driver talking in third person?

- First person,

and I don't know.

- Same thing.

- I don't know, it looks like he a good person.

- Really?

Come on man, you only been knowing him for 22 minutes.

How you gonna say that?

- 'Cause he got good vibes.

(Richard laughing)

- Man, that's that gullible shit.

We need to focus on how are we going to get this package

to Naomi's parents' house.

- I.

- 'Cause I'd be damned if I ride the bus again.

All the flights are booked, we don't have no cars.

- I probably just gotta call her and break the news to her.

- No, no. - I can't come.

- No, no cuz.

- What else do I have?

- You can't do that.

(gentle upbeat music)

What the fuck is you smiling at?

- You got an idea?

What is it?

- You need to hire, no?

- No.

- Yes.

What's on your mind?

- I come back tomorrow and pick you up, yes?

- Oh man, I appreciate that.

But we have a really long trip tomorrow.

- Oh no, Maslow's pleasure.

My gift to you., yes.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Problem solved.

- Not so fast.

- Why not?

- Man, we do not know him.

Furthermore, he don't even know where we going.

- We could tell him.

Hey, we gotta get to my in-laws' house by tomorrow evening.

Can you do that? - Okay.

No problem.

Maslow will be here in the morning for you.

- Problem solved.

- Sketchy man.

He might be a serial killer

and might got a fetish for black people.

You don't know that.

- What?

- Come on man.

- You overreacting.

Why don't you just relax?

Hey Maslow, we'll see you

tomorrow morning. - Damn.

- I'ma relax. - Thank you.

(door thudding)

- I'ma relax.

- This is perfect.

- I'ma relax.

- I'ma get to Naomi is what's gonna happen.

- I'ma relax.

I mean, you better hope he don't have a fetish for you.

That's why he here, he here to kill you.

- Listen, you protect this gift with your life.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm going home to pack.

- Hey, I hope you don't think I'm finna take a shower.

He ain't gonna wanna feast on my dirty little ass.

I can't believe I signed up for this shit man.

Damn.

(gentle upbeat music)

Look at this damn small ass TV.

(car engines revving)

(birds chirping)

(gentle upbeat music)

* I am a little teapot short and stout *

* Here is my handle *

* Here is my *

(gentle upbeat music)

- Oh.

Alvin,

come on.

(door thudding)

Maslow should be here any minute.

(gentle upbeat music)

Alvin.

(gentle upbeat music)

(footsteps thudding)

(gentle upbeat music)

Alvin.

Oof, oh God.

Alvin, come on man.

I wanna hurry up and get on the road

before traffic gets heavy.

(gentle upbeat music)

Alvin.

(gentle upbeat music)

Hey Alvin.

Alvin come on.

We gotta get going.

Alvin, come on, we gotta get going.

(gentle upbeat music)

* Move bitch get out the way *

* Get out the way *

(Alvin speaking indistinctly)

- Okay, I know what'll wake you up.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Oh, oh.

(gentle upbeat music)

- Oh, you up?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- What's, what's the right there?

- I got thirsty.

- Oh, mm-hmm.

- You want some?

- No, I'm straight.

- Come on, we gotta go.

- Okay.

(gentle upbeat music)

Oh, hey, come on.

(gentle upbeat music)

(birds chirping)

(door thudding)

- Really?

- What?

I had to make sure I get everything out.

- That's what took you so long?

So did you?

- Did I what?

- Did you get everything out?

- Yeah.

- But Maslow should have been here by now.

- Man, I really don't trust that dude anyway, man.

He always talking to third person.

- First person.

- Same thing, first, second, third, fourth.

I mean, if you wanna ride with 'em,

then I just go with what, you know, you wanna do.

- Appreciate that.

(person knocking)

Oh, there you go.

(Alvin groaning)

You okay?

- Nah, I gotta go back.

- Don't be long.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

Maslow is ready to hit the road.

- Okay.

(door thudding)

Appreciate it.

Hey, we really appreciate you.

(gentle upbeat music)

We appreciate you doing this for us.

And. - It's no problem.

Maslow is happy to help.

(Richard giggling)

- Okay.

How would you like me to do the app?

Should I request a ride or?

- Oh, yes.

Maslow will appreciate that.

- Okay, all right.

(gentle upbeat music)

Well that's not you.

Did you wash your hands?

- Why does that matter?

- Because your hands are dirty, you just.

- We gonna be doing this all day.

- I would just.

- I got.

- But I just want to.

- But you.

- But if you could.

- I got it.

- You don't know how to use the Samsung.

Right there.

- Oh.

There we go.

- Oh yes, you request Maslow.

- But look how much you just paid for that.

I mean, we easily could have this went with me.

You know this, man blood thicker than water.

White people.

- You don't have a car or a license.

- Oh, you, you, you smell that?

You smell that?

Oh it's judgment.

Man.

Maslow, two things, man.

Pick this bag up for me, okay.

And this dumb ass hat.

- I apologize about that.

He does that to everybody.

- Oh, no worries.

We'll meet you in. - In my country

that means friendship.

- This is gonna be a long trip.

That's your car?

(gentle upbeat music)

(door thudding)

(bag wheels clanking)

(birds chirping)

(bag wheels clanking)

What took you so long?

- Had to get the gift.

All right, come on, chop, chop ladies.

What's taking so long?

(car trunk thudding)

Man, what the hell is this?

- What happened?

- Well, this dude got a pet animal in his car.

- What is that?

- Oh, that's Napoleon, yes.

- Is that a stuffed animal?

- Napoleon has been with Maslow

since Maslow was a young boy.

It's my pet dog.

Yes.

(gentle upbeat music)

(birds chirping)

Yes.

We go?

- Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, we go.

You get in the back with that damn dog.

- So you gonna do family like that?

(car door thudding)

Man, I don't need help with the damn door.

- Don't worry, Maslow will take good care of you.

Yes.

(car door thudding)

(car engines revving)

(birds chirping)

(gentle music)

- Naomi dear, what troubles are you?

Is it Richard?

Are you two having issues?

- Oh, one second, hold on.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Are you okay?

- I'm okay.

- I tried to call you but you didn't answer,

so I figured you were going through security.

- Nah, I'm okay.

- Richard.

Richard.

- Is that Richard?

Is he at the airport?

When does his flight land?

- Did you get all that?

- Yeah, loud and clear.

I'm not at the airport.

- What do you mean?

- I'm not flying in?

(Naomi sighing)

- I should have known better.

You know, why even tell me you're coming

if you're not planning on coming.

You know what?

Forget it.

- Babe.

Babe?

(car engine revving)

- Everything okay?

- He's not coming.

I mean, I don't know why I thought any different.

You can't allow man to disappoint you.

The best thing to do is to accept them for who they are.

- He promised.

- A promise is a comfort for fools.

And I didn't raise a fool.

(gentle music)

There are other ways to get him

to pay for his empty promises.

Ask your father.

(gentle music)

(Naomi sighing)

- Alvin put $40 on number four, please.

- When have you known me to have any money?

- I don't know.

Then where you going?

- Bathroom.

- You gotta do number one and number two.

- Both of 'em.

(Richard laughing)

- I'll pay for it out here.

- You got a problem bro?

What, you don't hear me talking to you?

- Look man, I don't want any trouble.

I just wanna pump my gas okay?

- How about you pump my gas while you at it?

- I said I didn't want any trouble.

- And I said, you paying for my gas.

- Maslow, just get in the car.

(car door thudding)

- How about instead of paying for my gas,

how about you run your wallet.

- Hey, how about you get back in the car motherfucker.

- How about you mind your fucking business little man.

- Okay, since I'm a little man, let's play a little game.

What's up then?

Now you get back in your car, big man.

(car engines revving)

- This ain't over, little nigga.

I see you around.

- Alvin, get in the car.

Alvin, get in the car. - And I'ma be around too.

- Alvin, get in the car.

(car door thudding)

* You on my mind a lot *

* Don't need no time watch *

* I don't know how I got *

* You in my pocket spot *

* Get it babe, use you everyday *

* You like my oxygen *

* Make a scene like the bargain *

* Got my heart no bargaining *

* From the bed, to the floor, to the couch *

* Might wake the neighbors up *

* Break you in then break you out *

* In the end, we're gonna make the job *

* Then we gonna hit the shower *

* Part two *

* We don't need no pause *

* Get romistic, we gonna get tipsy *

* We don't need a power shot *

(upbeat music)

* Copy my steal *

* Face the fact that ain't no cap, I'm real *

* Ain't no cap I'm real *

* You best take bars tryna copy my steal *

* Copy my steal *

* Face the fact that ain't no cap, I'm real *

* Ain't no cap, I'm real *

* You best take bars tryna copy my steal *

(upbeat music)

* Got my heart no *

(upbeat music)

* Got my heart no barg *

(upbeat music)

* But you lend him *

(upbeat music)

* Got my heart no *

(upbeat music)

* No for the barg *

- [Richard] Hey, Maslow.

- [Maslow] Yes.

- [Richard] Pull over into the shopping center please.

- [Maslow] Okay.

- [Richard] Gotta go to the bathroom.

* Had to 'cause now they need us *

* No they don't know me breathing still *

* I rip that gun shit *

* Yeah I got three Jesus pieces *

* Looking like they seeing yeezus *

* So conceited but I can't *

(upbeat music)

(singer vocalizing)

- There you go.

Hey guys, I'm sorry about what happened earlier.

- Are you kidding?

This is the most excitement Maslow has had

in a very long time, yes.

- Man, forget all that.

Are we there yet?

- Nah, not yet.

- Okay, well, I'm hungry, let's pick somewhere to eat.

- Yes.

Look, we go there.

- Okay.

- That's what I mean.

I eat whatever green beans, potatoes, tomatoes,

ham, lambs, hog balls, you name it.

- All right.

(car doors thudding)

(footsteps thudding)

(Alvin moaning)

- Excuse me.

- Come on, man, you can't be that hungry.

- Bathroom.

Oh, oh.

- Oh.

- That hit the spot.

- Yeah, yeah, but we gotta hurry up.

We gotta get back on the road, I gotta get to Naomi's house.

- Oh, I think I'm ready for a nap like that.

- A nap?

Come on, we gotta go.

Put on your coats.

- Can I get you guys anything else?

- Just the check?

- Nah, hold on.

Before we hit the road at least, man, let me get dessert.

What type of pies y'all got?

- We have key lime, cherry and apple.

- Wait, no sweet potato.

- No.

Sorry.

- You know what?

We'll just take the check, please.

(waitress laughing)

- I am so sorry about that.

- No, actually, you're good.

I think he's kind of cute.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Let's see here.

If you can, you can actually give this to him for me.

Make sure he calls me.

- Okay.

Yeah, sure.

- All right.

Thanks a lot.

- She was really nice.

- I don't believe that worked.

You ready?

- Yes.

- Let's get outta here.

(Alvin sighing)

(gentle upbeat music)

- Maslow.

- Yes.

- Where's your car?

- It's right here.

Where's Maslow's car?

Oh my God, Napoleon.

- Woo.

Hey, yo, that waitress back there was fine.

Man, I actually should have asked for her number.

Ooh, it's so cold out here.

Wait, what's this?

Oh, yo, yo, good looking out cuz.

Hey man, have I ever told you I appreciate you.

- Okay, I appreciate you too.

- Come on, man.

This day really can't get no better.

What a day before Christmas.

Hey, what?

Where's Maslow car?

- They took everything.

They took my dog, Napoleon.

- Thank God.

I mean, hey man, I'm so sorry for your loss of your dog.

But I mean, you got the keys though, right?

- Yes.

- All right, cool.

All right, well, we should be good.

- Maslow, what's this?

- Tickets?

Yes, the police keep inviting me to police functions,

Maslow never goes.

- This is a parking ticket.

- No, no, no, these are tickets for the police.

Yes.

- Are you kidding me?

- This is a parking's, this is a violation.

How many of these did you get?

- I don't know, quite a few.

Maslow has become very popular with the police.

Yes.

- Yeah, don't you think?

- Did you pay any of these violations?

- No, no, Maslow not rich.

He send the money back home to my mama.

- Man fuck yo.

So what we gonna do now?

- We gotta find the nearest police station

so that we can sort all this out.

- Find the nearest police station.

How we gonna get there

if we ain't got no car, Richard?

- We'll do it the same way that we found him, Uber.

- Wait through Uber.

Another serial killer who looked like Michael Jackson?

I think not.

Come on, man.

- Come on, man.

All right, they'll be here in 15 minutes.

Where you going?

- I'm gonna take a walk.

- Well, you got 15 minutes.

- I need 14.

- Is Richard still coming?

- I have no idea.

- When's the last time you spoke with him?

- Oh, earlier when I hung up on him.

- Why don't you give him a call?

- Yeah, I guess so.

Let's see what he's up to.

- Maslow is sorry.

- Don't worry about it.

We'll sort this whole thing out.

- You're a very good man.

- Oh shit.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Yeah.

- Hey, listen, I'm sorry I hung up on you earlier.

I shouldn't have done that.

- Okay.

- Richard, Richard, are you there?

- Yeah, I'm here.

- Oh, well, I mean don't let me keep you.

- No, no, no, no, no, no,

I just got a lot going on right now.

- Okay, yeah, I'll talk to you later.

All right, bye.

- Oh, what, what, what?

what is going on?

(birds chirping)

Oh.

(birds chirping)

- Oh.

- Oh yeah.

Yo, hey man.

I was thinking about the number you gave me.

II think that waiter, Diamond, when I hit her up,

she wanna unwrap my Christmas present.

(both laughing)

- Oh shit, the package. - Oh shit, the package.

- I knew I shouldn't have left that in the car.

- Man, see, I told you.

(car engines revving)

(gentle upbeat music)

- [Richard] Go.

- Can't believe we're here, man.

Got the pretty girl number.

What a day before Christmas?

- [Richard] Just gotta find an officer.

- Hopefully.

- Oh, hey sir.

Okay.

- Hello?

- Can I help you?

- Yes Mr. Police, Maslow's car is gone.

- It's gone?

Was it stolen?

- Stolen?

- Did someone take it?

- I, I. - Where'd you last park it?

- I, I don't understand.

- All right, somebody get this guy away from me

before we throw him. - All right,

excuse our friend, Officer Mason.

He doesn't speak English well.

And sometimes he can be a little.

- Annoying.

- Okay. - Full of shit.

Same thing.

- All right, all right, all right.

- Are the three of you together?

- Yes, we are.

- No, we're not.

- Yes, we are.

- Okay, was was the car stolen?

- Yes, well, not exactly.

- Not exactly.

- No, it was, it was.

- Towed, tell this motherfucker the car was towed.

The white man is trying to help us.

You see that, don't you?

- All right, what's the tag number?

- MAZDOG.

- MAZDOG.

Mike Alpha Zebra Delta Oscar Golf?

- Yes.

Did you find the car?

- Yeah, we picked that car up a couple hours ago.

- Oh gosh.

Oh, God. - Hey man,

quit with all that gay shit.

I apologize.

- Yeah, we found some interesting items

in the back of the vehicle.

- Did you find Napoleon?

- Napoleon?

- Yes.

- Is that what we're calling it?

- Yes, Napoleon was very special to Maslow.

He protects Maslow.

- Was it registered?

- No.

Napoleon has been with Maslow for a very long time.

- Please say y'all killed that dog.

- Officer Gable, can I get your help with these three?

- Okay.

So what happens now?

- All right, y'all behave.

(keys jingling)

- Why'd you leave the gun under the seat?

- I ain't leave the gun up under the seat.

It must have fell outta my bag, Richard.

- Hello, I Maslow, nice to meet you.

- Oh, this motherfucker.

Man, get your Michael Jackson looking ass friend, man.

- Maslow, come sit over here.

Why don't you sit next to us.

- Okay, Maslow will sit.

- Man, sit your ass down.

Man, you ain't got no idea where you at, do you?

- Yes, we are at the police station, yes.

(gentle upbeat music)

- What up homeboy?

- Officer.

- Sit down man, sit the fuck down.

- Chill out, man.

It ain't even that serious.

You don't even look like you belong here.

- Relax homie.

- What they got you here for,

some white collar crime or something?

(gentle upbeat music)

They with you?

- Yeah.

- I wish I was home right now.

I miss my lady.

You got a lady at home?

- Yeah.

- She good to you?

- Yeah.

- Gotta do what you gotta do to get back home to her.

Stay close man.

You don't take time to appreciate her,

somebody else will.

That phone don't work, man.

You gotta go up the hall.

- Officer.

- [Alvin] Hold on.

- I'll be right back.

- Hold on, wait, you come right back.

I need you, don't leave me.

Hold on, don't leave me.

- I'll be right back.

- Bro.

- I got it.

- What the hell?

- Boy.

- White collar, man, I got him, man he good.

- What if they kill me?

- [Officer Gabe] You gonna be all right.

- I'm gonna be all right if I die.

- You be all right.

- Don't touch me, I'm sorry, I apologize, sir.

- You like a fun size crack head.

- Man, so that don't mean nothing to me.

(people speaking indistinctly)

Hey man, leave me alone.

Quit touching my pockets, man.

- Man, what you hand for, man?

- Man, hey man, you ain't gonna believe this, but a,

a gun charge.

- Oh gun charge.

- Yeah, I said it.

Not one, two, three, four, five, six.

15 though.

Oh yeah, 15, big misdemeanor.

Yeah big.

Yeah, big misdemeanor.

- Right.

- Yeah, exactly.

On my toes.

Matter of fact, I pulled it out on my tippy toes.

- [Prisoner] Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

Get back, get back.

- We gonna let you be, man.

- Yeah, appreciate you.

- Are you okay?

- No, I'm not okay.

- These niggas are gonna kill me.

Come on, where was you at?

- Oh, I was talking to my new friends.

Yes.

- Yo, new friends, really Maslow?

- Yes.

They said we can have cookies.

- No Maslow.

Cookies, what?

- They want to have Oreos with Maslow?

- No, you know what that means?

They black you white.

They the Oreos, you about to be the cream in the middle.

(gentle upbeat music)

- I don't get it.

- Oh, you about to find out soon.

Oh, yo cookies.

Man, get your, get away from me.

I ain't finna get with.

I can't watch this here.

Oh shit.

- Mm, you got a minute all right.

Go ahead.

You strong, you can handle it.

Let's go.

- I wanted to show you what I got for mom.

- Oh yeah.

- Yeah.

What did you get her?

- Well, I can't tell you, I'll give away the secret.

Wait, hang on, wait, hang on, wait a minute.

- Is that mom?

- Gimme a second.

No, it's not, sorry.

(footsteps tapping)

(Naomi sighing)

Huh?

What?

Oh man.

All right, call Tom.

Get Tom on it right now.

Hurry up.

(footsteps tapping)

- Okay?

- Okay, I'm pretty sure

he's not gonna want me to tell you this,

but Richard and his friend have been detained.

So I've got my people on it.

They're gonna do everything they can do

to get him out as soon as possible.

And that's what I got.

- Is he okay?

- As far as I can tell, he's okay.

- Seriously?

- I just answered the phone, baby.

- Why didn't he call me?

- I don't know.

But I got it.

I got it.

No I got it.

Don't.

I got it.

I'll take care of it.

- Thank you.

This is ridiculous.

- Yeah.

It'll be all right.

It's a mix up.

It's just a mix up.

It's okay.

- Okay.

- Hey, let's get outta here guys.

- Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God.

Thank you Jesus. - Today is your lucky day.

- Man, thank God they tried to make Oreos

out your boy out there, man.

- [Officer Gabe] Come on, come on.

- Could you, could you get him please?

- No, no.

- Man, go and get him.

- Man, get your ass on.

- Bye friends.

- Hold on man.

- [Officer Gabe] Hurry up.

Calm down, sit down.

Leave him alone.

- Yo white collar,

appreciate your girl, man.

- Yeah.

You do the same.

(gentle upbeat music)

- I'm so glad we came up outta there.

- Right.

- But wait, wait before we go, how did you do it anyway?

- I called Naomi's dad.

- Oh, so you pulled I know a guy who no a guy trick.

The father-in-law thing.

(Alvin laughing)

- Man, he made one phone call, had us releases,

all charges dropped.

- That is dope.

- Oh, I handled all your parking tickets too.

- You a very good man.

- Appreciate that.

- Okay, see, look my boy look out for you.

So what you do for me?

- I just got you outta jail.

- That don't count.

- Come on.

(footsteps crunching)

(gentle upbeat music)

(car engine revving)

All right, less than an hour left.

- You didn't wanna talk to your wife?

- Hey oh no, hey, that's not his wife yet, anyway.

Hey Richard, cuz, hand me your phone.

- What, why?

- Come on man, hand me your phone.

Trust me.

Got a surprise. - Wait,

what are you doing?

- Surprising her is spontaninity, right?

- Spontaneity.

- Same thing.

At the end of the day, look, she was never convinced

you was coming, right?

- I guess not. - Okay,

so trust me on this cuz.

- Yeah. - Okay, you think about it,

when have I ever steered you wrong anyway.

(Alvin laughing)

(Maslow laughing)

Okay don't answer that, my bad.

Dang.

But think about it.

If you show up there with a package, man, you know,

it's a surprise and she gonna thank you the man.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'ma be the man.

(both laughing)

- [Alvin] Exactly.

What, what, what is it?

- Stop the car.

- What the hell? - What this is it?

- Where's the package?

We forgot the package.

- No, no you didn't, it's right here.

I put in my jacket.

- What are you doing with the package?

- I'm using it as a pillow.

- Man, gimme the package.

Thank God.

- So wait.

So what am I gonna use as a pillow now?

- Who cares?

(gentle upbeat music)

Maslow?

- Yes.

- You can go.

- [Maslow] Yes.

- We got the package.

- [Maslow] Yes.

(gentle upbeat music)

(stomach growling)

- You okay?

- No, Maslow feel sick.

I need to stop please, please.

- Maslow, listen, we gotta get to Naomi parents' house.

We gotta get there before the end of the night.

- No, no.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, I know that look.

If we don't pull over, it's about to get messy in here.

(Maslow groaning)

- Maslow is so weak.

I need to stop please, please.

Please.

- [Alvin] Oh my gosh.

(car door thudding)

(Maslow moaning)

- I'ma go check on him.

- [Alvin] Yeah, you do that

'cause I ain't trying to smell that.

(Maslow moaning)

- Maslow, I gotta get to Naomi.

Please, I've come too far to fall short now.

- I'm sorry, Maslow can't drive, Maslow very sick.

(Maslow crying)

- I can't believe this is happening to me.

(Maslow crying)

- Oh man, come on, what's the hold up?

- He can't drive.

- What a day before Christmas.

Cuz, look at me, look man,

we gotta get you there,

even if it's the last thing that we do.

'Cause we came too far to give up now.

I tell you what,

man get in the car.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey,

where you going?

- Getting us a Naomi's house.

- But you don't have a license.

- Look, just because I don't have a car

doesn't mean I don't have a license.

- When did you get a license?

- A few months back.

But I tried to tell you, if you'd listen.

I mean, well, besides, even if I had a license,

you was gonna let me drive your car?

- Nope.

- My point exactly.

Now get the serial killer and let's go.

(Maslow coughing)

- Come on, you okay?

(Maslow crying)

Oh.

(Maslow crying)

Get in.

(Maslow moaning)

I'm coming Naomi, I'm coming.

(car door thudding)

(car engines revving)

(car horns honking)

(car engines revving)

- It's beautiful tree this year, right?

- It's lovely.

- I love it. - It's lovely.

You did fabulous.

- And this is our new ornament for the year.

- I love the sparseness of it.

(Kimora laughing)

It's, you know, focused.

- It's small, but it's beautiful, right.

- Look, you can see yourself in it.

- [Kimora] Aha.

(both laughing)

Look at this one, isn't that gorgeous?

- [Claude] They threw that one in.

- [Kimora] That's the new one this year.

- [Claude] Oh good.

- [Kimora] Yeah.

- [Claude] So it's a little, okay.

- [Kimora] Yeah.

- [Claude] Pretty cool.

You can even see yourself in it.

I can see myself in it.

Can you see yourself?

- [Kimora] Yeah.

- [Claude] Hey look, we're both in there.

- Hey daddy.

- [Claude] Huh?

- Are you sure you got them out?

- Yes, baby.

They were released hours ago.

(Kimora sighing)

- Hmm, I can't believe we paid money for pine cones.

(footsteps thudding)

- How can I be so stupid?

I don't know what I was thinking.

Like, thinking I could count on him to show up.

He never does show up.

(parents laughing)

- No.

(footsteps thudding)

(Richard panting)

(gentle music)

- Guys, I think I'm gonna turn in for the night.

- We can still have our Christmas Eve tradition.

- I'm sorry.

I love you guys.

(footsteps tapping)

(person knocking)

(gentle music)

(footsteps thudding)

(person knocking)

Richard.

- Oh.

I made it.

I made it. - Oh my God.

(Richard panting)

- I made it.

Oh, it's cold.

You wouldn't believe the day that I had.

First Alvin had to help me get here.

And then I had the Uber driver and his name was Maslow

and he had like the stuffed dog.

And then we got arrested and I just.

* I'm coming home *

- You are such an idiot, Richard.

But I'm so glad you're here.

- Oh, I got you a gift.

I bought you something.

- Thank you.

(Naomi gasping)

Oh wow.

- I did good, right?

- You picked this out?

- I remember you said that you wanted it

and I just remembered it all of a sudden and.

- Thank you.

You remembered.

- Listen, you are the most important thing in my life.

And I will never put work in front of you again.

(gentle music)

I love you.

- I love you too.

(gentle music)

Thank you so much for coming.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

(both laughing)

* Oh, oh *

* I'm coming home *

- Let's get some mistletoe.

(gentle upbeat music)

* I wanna be home for the holidays *

(gentle upbeat music)

* Because home is only home when I'm with you *

(gentle upbeat music)

- Ah.

(Alvin laughing)

(Alvin speaking indistinctly)

(Alvin laughing)

* Ah *

* Ah *

Moon walk, moon walk, moon walk.

My TV big, my TV big.

I can speak only 'cause my TV big.

My TV big.

Oh, ah, oh, ah.

My TV big, my TV.

* It's Christmas *

- Hoo, I'm tired.

My TV is big.

Thank you, thank you.

* I'm thankful for the things I have, I'm feeling lucky *

* November is gone, shaving off scruffy *

* 'Tis the season, warm, tingly and puffy *

* They want toys, Xbox and a puppy *

* Love the smell of butterscotch and cinnamon *

* Ladies and gentlemen *

* The gentlemen in turtleneck, bubble vest and Timberlands *

* It's beginning to look a lot like *

* People that love to give *

* It's beginning to look a lot like *

* Things that uplift us *

* It's beginning to look like *

* The joy that we miss because *

* It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas *

* Let it snow *

* Go on, let it snow *

* Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow *

* The holidays are here *

* Holidays are here *

* Filled with joy and cheer *

* Yeah *

* A lot of love and laughter *

* A lot of love and laughter *

(gentle upbeat music)

* The holidays are here *

* The holidays are here *

* Filled with joy and cheer *

* Filled with joy and cheer *

* A lot of love and laughter *

* Hey, hey, hey *

* Go ahead and make it *

* Ain't no telling where your wish'll go *

* Or just a slow kiss below the mistletoe *

* And mama cooked some yams and some collard greens *

* Black eye peas and some ah *

* You know what I mean *

* Slick like you're locking your dice *

* Solid advice *

* Let it stick like a pot of your rice *

* Naughty or nice *

* I don't care if he checking it once, checking it twice *

* 'Cause *

* To me it's not Christmas, it's Christ-mas *

* And this is what it's come to *

* They got us waiting for the fat man *

* In a jumpsuit to come through *

* We keeping fun for our kids though *

* As long as Santa's showing up with some ho, ho, ho *

* The holidays are here *

* Holidays are here *

* Filled with joy and cheer *

* Filled with joy and cheer *

* A lot of love and laughter *

* A lot of love and laughter *

* Oh *

* The holidays are here *

* Holidays are here *

* Filled with joy and cheer *

* Filled with joy *

* A lot of love and laughter *

* A lot of love and laughter *

* Yeah *

* A lot of love, a lot love and laughter *

(gentle upbeat music)

* A lot of love, a lot love and laughter *

(gentle upbeat music)

* Holidays are here *

(upbeat music)

* Oh we willing *

* We drinking cherry wine and *

* We dancing on an island *

* We go and pop the finest *

* Ya, ya, ya, mix tequila *

* Call me senorita *

* Ay papi got me dreaming *

* My legs up on the ceiling *

* Oh yeah, yeah, yeah *

* I know when he come, come he ain't ever gonna leave no *

* Hit it then I run, run that's the way I wanna be *

* So don't think I'm the one one two won't ever be enough *

* Mixing 'til I'm numb *

* Bitch I ain't the one *

* He don't want love, love, love *

* He just wanna fu, fu *

* Oh little baecation *

* Drinking 'til we naked *

* Talking with our tongue, tongue, tongues *

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

(upbeat music)

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

(upbeat music)

* We just having fu, fu, fu *

* Give a little piecy of my meat *

* Got some body *

* Touch up on my rum bum, bum craving that Bacardi *

* Got him talkin' dirty in the daylight *

* He be tryna' wife it baby no psych *

* Don't be getting stringy issa wifi *

* Hit and run like *

* I know when he come, come he ain't ever gonna leave no *

* Hit it then I run, run that's the way I wanna be *

* So don't think I'm the one one two won't ever be enough *

* Mixing 'til I'm numb *

* Bitch I ain't the one *

* He don't want love, love, love *

* He just wanna fu, fu *

* Oh little baecation *

* Drinking 'til we naked *

* Talking with our tongue, tongue, tongues *

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

* We just having *

* We just having fu, fu, fun *

(upbeat music)