Original subtitles

Well, there it is. Our first house.

Isn't it beautiful?

Yeah, but you know, it's going to be a lot of hard work and high payments

before it's really ours.

Well, I'm going to get that second job we talked about, and with both of our

paychecks, it should be no problem making the payments.

We're going to move in, and we're going to live wonderful lives here, and

everything's going to be perfect.

I have a really good feeling about this.

Well, I know you're probably right, but you know me. I worry about it.

What if something goes wrong?

It's about to be the first day in our new house. I think we should go inside

and celebrate. Let's have some champagne, right? Yeah.

All right, let's go.

Don't worry about it.

It's good luck to spill champagne on the carpet of a new house. Are you sure?

That's a warm, just the way I like it.

You know, I think we did the right thing.

Yes, we did.

Everything is going to be wonderful.

You know, I hear that there's something else that's good luck in a new house.

You just made that up. I know you did.

Honey, I'm going to spa on the couch.

Your hands are cold!

Can I

have a seat here?

I'm cold, I want to put my shirt on.

I don't have the heat turned on yet.

When you're done moving, you can burn all the cardboard boxes.

Yeah, that's how the fireplace works.

Let me see my big hooters.

We have to break it.

Geez, honey, they've got some really high ceilings here.

That thing just came back.

Okay. Whoa.

They're pretty high ceilings.

There?

Almost forgot why I married you.

You have such a great head.

Not because I'm cute?

Oh, that too.

Better not be because of the way I paint house.

You'll be leaving me.

Spending all those cards right now.

Big time.

Good. Shall we go to the kitchen next?

Yes. Absolutely.

I am so beat.

All that shit to organize.

Well, tonight we get a good night's sleep.

And tomorrow, we have even more to do.

Oh, joy.

I'll work all week long.

Then I come home and work on this house all weekend long.

You know what I'd like for you to do right now?

What?

Go to the kitchen and get me some vodka.

Anything else, Master?

No, that'll be it for now. Thanks.

Thank you.

um um

Thank you.

uh

um um

No!

You know, it's a good thing I wasn't that thirsty last night.

Those drinks took forever.

What do you mean?

I fell asleep waiting for you.

You did?

Yeah.

I don't even remember going back to bed.

Didn't I wake you?

Uh-uh. I was out like a light.

So, uh, how many glasses of vodka did you say you had before you seen them?

This is not funny.

Look, here's where the glasses broke. I dropped them there last night when I saw

them. And what'd you say they were doing?

They were having sex.

They were having sex?

Two female ghosts having sex?

Well, that's something you don't see every day.

I wouldn't mind seeing that for myself, actually.

I'm glad you find this so amusing.

We need to call a professional.

Honey, come on, please, huh?

There's no such thing as ghosts.

You know that.

What I know is what I saw. We need to call somebody.

Who are you gonna call?

Oh, yes,

ma'am. This house is all... This house is clean.

You had a poltergeist all right. A real nasty one.

But your house is clean.

I promise.

Are you sure they're gone if we get? Oh yeah.

They're about to come on your face.

Suck, suck.

oh yeah oh yeah

Canister. Uh-huh.

Okay.

Okay.

All right. Well, I'll be there in an hour.

Got it. Bye.

Hi, Frank Canister.

You called me?

No, I didn't call you. My wife did.

She's in the living room. Come on in.

My husband thinks that I'm nuts, and he thinks that you're a con artist, Mr.

Canister.

You're not crazy, Miss Woodman.

Not crazy.

Not crazy at all.

There are ghosts here.

You can tell all that just by walking around and breathing the air, right?

Not exactly.

I can feel them.

It's one of my many talents.

Sure.

But, uh, I don't know. I've got kind of like a sixth sense about these kind of

things. Always have, even as a child.

Really? It must have been very horrifying to see and feel ghosts at

such a young age.

Yeah, I always thought they were imaginary friends, so my parents always

told me.

That was before I found out what they really were.

Yeah, what's that?

You've got ghosts.

A whole bunch of ghosts.

See, I told you. Oh, brother.

Look, I know it makes you feel better, but do we have to invite the guy to stay

overnight to observe the phenomenon?

This is nonsense.

We don't know this guy.

He could be a serial killer, an axe murderer, a thief. Look, you didn't see

it, okay?

I saw it.

I don't feel safe here. And if I can't feel safe here, I don't want to stay

here.

Look at it this way. If this guy can do what he says he can, then he'll get rid

of these creatures or whatever it is that I saw.

And if I'm just nuts, then it doesn't matter anyway, okay? So would you please

indulge me?

What choice do I have anyways?

Thank you.

Thank you.

You see, drinking all my scotch is taking it along on what I expected.

So did you catch any ghouls or ectoplasms lately?

Don't forget, don't cross those beams.

You and I need to talk.

Is my wife nuts?

Morning.

Morning. So what happened? Did you find anything?

Actually, I did encounter one of them last night.

Come on, man. Stop pulling a chain like that.

I'm not.

I'm dead serious.

Alex, stop it.

Just let me explain.

Alex, let him explain.

Shut up. I don't want to hear anything about ghosts anymore.

There ain't no such thing as ghosts. Beat it.

Send me a bill.

Why won't you believe me?

You can't understand.

Oh, fuck.

Oh.

Hey, Anister.

Hey, it's Alex.

I need to talk to you.

You saw them, didn't you?

Yes. I don't know what to do.

All right. I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Idiot.

In the bedroom.

On the bed.

Julie just disappeared.

Yeah, and she had no recollection of what happened the next morning.

Myself, it took me quite some time to figure it all out too.

This is what I was trying to tell you yesterday.

These ghosts aren't evil.

These ghosts are lonely.

These ghosts need human contact.

They're attracted to us like a butterfly would be to a bright light.

You know, you're starting to sound a lot like that fat chick from Poltergeist.

Listen, what you need to do is to protect these ghosts.

Not to kick them out like Julie wants us to.

You have to show Julie that these ghosts are beneficial.

After last night, I'm sure you'd agree.

Well, yeah, I mean, last night was very cool and all, but how are you going to

convince Julie to go along with it?

What's going on, guys?

Julie, there's something we've got to tell you.

What?

Julie, something's going to happen later on here tonight, and we just don't want

you to be afraid.

You're just going to have to trust us.

Trust you?

What's going on?

Well, it turns out you were right.

I don't want to believe you, but now I do.

I saw them.

But you were wrong about one thing.

And that is, they're not bad or evil.

They frighten me.

There's no reason to be frightened.

They're good souls.

They've just lost their way to the other side.

Something has prevented them from crossing over. I don't know if they

refuse to die.

They might not even know what they are yet.

But there is one thing that they're coming to us for, and that's...

They need human contact.

They need the feeling of touch, which is the essence of life which we possess and

they have lost.

I think they just want the feeling of being alive again.

You know, you sound like the fat woman in Poltergeist.

I get that a lot.

So how do you know they're not dangerous?

Well, I think something would have happened by now.

All they need is human contact and we can give that to them.

Just gonna have to trust us.

Okay, how do we start?

Just really lie.

This is so cool.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Yes.

Yes.

You just want to come.

Come on there. Come.

Yeah. Come.

You want more pussy?

wrap it around

Okay.

Oh yeah, taste it.

Oh, God.

Yeah, look at that.

You don't feel like the fat in it pulled your wrist?

Yeah, twist it. Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah, pound it.

Yeah. Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you nasty girl.

Oh.

In the years that followed those events, Julie and Alex kept living with those

strange friends, and I would come to visit once in a while.

Then the ghosts left, one by one.

They probably found their way back to the other side, got tired of us.

Maybe the physical touch reminded them too much of the fact that they were no

longer human.

And that must have been painful.

I'll never know.

And that's what really bothers me.

After they were gone, things were never the same.

I stopped going to the house.

It had lost its life.

Strange to think that the soul of the place was, in fact, a departed one.

Then Alex and Julie sold the house, moved to another town.

I've never heard from him since.

At night, I take the boulevard to go from the office to my apartment.

And sometimes, I catch myself taking the long way home.

That long way past the street where they lived.

I'd slow down in front of the house.

Sometimes, I can still catch a glimpse of the blue light in the windows.