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MOSFILM
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CREATIVE SOCIETY FOR TV FILMS
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ORDER FOR THE FILM PLACED BY THE STATE
COMMITTEE OF THE USSR FOR TV AND RADIO
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Comic fantasy about life, love and
death of the famous baron Munchhausen
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who lived in Germany in the 18th century
and became the hero of many
merry books and legends.
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And that is not all.
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- It isn't?
- No.
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We held out and struck at the flank.
I lead the dragoons across the mire.
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But my horse made a false step and we began
sinking. It was a desperate situation.
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I had to make a choice:
either die or find a way of rescue.
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So what did you choose?
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Have a guess.
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I decided to save myself. But how?
There was no rope, no pole, nothing.
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And then it dawned on me. My head!
The head is always handy, gentlemen.
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I grabbed my own hair
and pulled with all my might.
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And I do have a lot of power in my arms,
thank God, and my head is clever enough!
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So I yanked
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And pulled myself from the mire.
And the horse too.
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You maintain that a man
can lift himself by the hair?
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Absolutely.
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A clever man absolutely has
to do it from time to time.
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Nonsense! It is impossible.
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Where is the proof?
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Am I alive?
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That is it.
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- You speak about hunting.
- Do I?
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Well, you did not say it, you thought.
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Just imagine, a year ago somewhere
here I ran into a deer.
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I took aim and just remembered that
I had no bullets! Nothing but cherry.
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I loaded my gun with a cherry stone
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shot and hit the deer in the forehead.
It ran away.
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Just imagine, this spring
at the same place
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I met my beautiful deer
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who had a marvellous cherry tree
growing on his head.
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How do you mean a cherry tree?
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A tree? Growing on the deer's head?
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Why not a cherry orchard!
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If it were an orchard
I would say an orchard.
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But since it was a tree
why should I lie?
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I always tell the truth.
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The truth?
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"THAT VERY MUNCHHAUSEN"
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WRITTEN BY GRIGORIY GORIN
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DIRECTED BY MARK ZAHAROV
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DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
VLADIMIR NAHABTSEV
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PRODUCTION DESIGNER
GEORGY KOLGANOV
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COMPOSER ALEXEI RYBNIKOV
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SOUND BY YURIY RABINOVICH, CONDUCTOR
SERGEI SKRIPKA, LYRICS BY YURIY ENTIN
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DIRECTOR LEONID CHERTOK
CAMERAMAN SERGEI ARMAND
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COSTUME DESIGNER N.FIRSOVA, FILM EDITING
I.TSEKAVAYA, MAKE-UP N.MINAYEVA
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SPECIAL PHOTOGRAPHY: DIRECTOR
V.YAKUBOVICH, DESIGNER I.IVANOVA
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GENERAL EDITOR I.VINOGRADOV
MUSICAL EDITOR A.LAPISOV
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PRODUCTION MANAGER LAZAR MILKIS
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CAST
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BARON MUNCHHAUSEN - OLEG YANKOVSKY
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JAKOBINA MUNCHHAUSEN - INNA CHURIKOVA
MARTA - YELENA KORENEVA
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BURGOMASTER - IGOR KVASHA,
RAMKOPF - ALEKSANDR ABDULOV,
THEOPHIL - LEONID YARMOLNIK,
THOMAS - YURI KATIN-YARTSEV
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PASTOR - VLADIMIR DOLINSKY,
DUKE - LEONID BRONEVOY,
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF - SEMYON FARADA,
JUDGE - VSEVOLOD LARIONOV
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EXTRAS: A. AMASPYURYANTS, A.MYULSTEDT
G.OSHKOLUP, N.PALLADINA, O.SOKOLOV,
K.YU.STEIMAN, V.IANOVSKIS, I.YASULOVICH
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Oh
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Sure, we all know how to pull.
There's a door handle, why not pull at it?
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People sweat fixing it
But we don't care,
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Everyone is eager to demonstrate his
strength. Just can't keep his hands off it.
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Get hold of it quietly, pull lightly.
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Not at all! Jerk it with all your might.
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You won't go jerking like that at home,
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But while it is some one else's house everything
is all right, whatever gets in the way.
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You will never get them to drive in
a new hook or to change the ring, no.
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As for writing silly things on the walls,
that's something we are pretty good at.
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OK, now it looks right.
You can ring the bell.
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Oh!
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Now that's different.
Pastor, please.
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The baron is expecting you. He has been
working in his study since morning.
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He locked himself up and every now and then
he asks: "Thomas, has the pastor come yet?"
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I say: "Not yet". And he says "That's just
as well". He is very eager to see you.
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I say now, is your master
the very Munchhausen?
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Yes, the very Munchhausen.
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- Are those his hunting trophies?
- They are.
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Once the baron
went hunting to the wood.
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A bear attacked him. And since
the baron had no gun...
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Why wasn't he carrying a gun?
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- I have all ready told you he went
hunting. - Ah... Well, well.
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So. When the bear attacked him.
The baron...
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caught it by his front paws
and held them until the animal died.
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- What caused the death?
- Hunger.
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As is well known, the bear
feeds by sucking at his paw.
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And since the baron denied him
this possibility...
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I see. And do you
believe all that?
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Of course, pastor.
You saw yourself how thin he is.
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- Who?
- The bear.
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- What bear?
- The one that you saw.
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Do you mind... after the walk...
just a little?
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What do you mean?
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To warm the soul... before dinner
just a bit... Do you mind?
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No, I don't.
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Would you like a fuge, a sonata
or something stronger?
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- Something... for me.
- Whatever you like.
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Frau Martha, I didn't hear,
what time it is?
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The clock struck 3,
the baron struck 2
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Which makes 5.
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- Then I start frying the duck.
- Yes, it's time.
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00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:06,800
You've been waiting for me, darling?
Sorry, Newton held me up.
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00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,120
Who is that?
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An Englishman, a very clever man.
I must absolutely introduce you to him.
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00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,720
It's 6 o'clock, though. Dinner time.
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00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,560
You are wrong, Karl. It's 5.
You fired only twice.
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Really?
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00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,280
But I am hungry.
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00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,040
OK, let's add an hour.
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- A misfire.
- Damn, that makes half past five.
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Wine is spilt for luck.
Don't mind the dress.
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00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,960
We have guests, Karl.
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Please forgive us, Pastor.
We didn't notice you.
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00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,680
Glad to see you in my house,
Pastor.
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I am glad to see you too, Baron.
I came here on your request.
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It's so kind of you!
How was the trip from Hanover?
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Thank you. First there was fog,
then clouds gathered...
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Yes, yes. Then I dispersed them all.
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We shan't digress though.
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00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,800
I want you to meet my wife.
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- This is Martha.
- Very glad, baroness.
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00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,240
Unfortunately she is not a baroness.
She is just my wife.
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00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,480
We are not wed. That is why
I asked you to come to my place.
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00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,960
Would you agree to perform
this sacred ceremony for us?
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- Right now?
- No, certainly after dinner.
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Then I shall go hurry Thomas up
while you entertain our guest.
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Yes, certainly. Would you like
to see my library, pastor?
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00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,720
- With pleasure.
- Please.
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I've already noticed, baron.
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00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,640
- You've got rare books.
- Yes, many of them are autographed.
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00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,520
- It must be so pleasant.
- Sophocles for example.
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00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,760
- Who?
- Sophocles.
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00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,760
This is his best tragedy
"Oedipus Rex" with an inscription.
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00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,120
- For whom?
- For me, naturally.
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00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:17,680
Here. "To dear Karl from his loving
Sophocles to be warmly remembered."
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00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,720
Can you read ancient Greek?
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00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,120
Dinner is ready! I hope you
were not bored here, pastor?
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00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,840
No. I showed the parchment
to the Pastor.
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00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,680
- The one that Sophocles presented
to you? - That very one.
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00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,600
My God, where am I?
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00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,920
You are in a marvellous house.
It's fun here.
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Don't get upset. Some time I'll take you with
me to the ancient Athens. You won't regret it.
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And now before dinner offer a sip for me
and our guest. Just to raise the spirit.
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00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,480
Greens, ham, fish!
Where is the duck, Thomas?
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00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,880
- Not ready yet, baron.
- What!? Still not ready?
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00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,880
You can't trust any one.
Got to do everything myself.
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00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:19,160
Thomas, look, are they flying?
Are they?
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They are, baron!
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Right now they'll fly over our house.
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00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,640
We will fire through the chimney.
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Ready... Fire!
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00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,440
So?
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00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,400
I got it. A duck. With apples.
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00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,600
It seems well fried.
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00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,640
It seems to have dipped into gravy
on its way.
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00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,480
Oh? How very considerate of it.
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00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,400
Sit down to table, please!
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00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,960
Thank you. I don't have
the appetite any more.
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00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:23,240
And then I am in a hurry. Explain
to me what you request is, baron.
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00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,760
The request is simple. I want to be
wed to the woman I love.
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00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,240
To my dear Martha. The most beautiful,
sensitive and trustful woman.
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00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,720
Oh, my! Why am I telling you this,
you can see her yourself.
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Yes, yes, sure. But still, why
does your locale pastor refuse
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00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,040
to wed you?
- He says I am married.
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- Married?
- Married.
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00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,040
The thing is that the baron did
have a wife, but she left him.
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00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,640
She deserted me two years ago.
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00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:54,120
To tell you the truth, baron,
I would do the same in her place.
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00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,800
That is why I am no going
to marry you but Martha.
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00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:02,240
So! Sorry, baron, but I can't be
of any help to you.
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00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,160
Why not?
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00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,760
Because while your fife is alive
you can't get married a second time.
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00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,960
- You say, while she is alive?
- While she is alive.
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00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,400
- Are you suggesting that I should kill her?
- My God! God save you, Baron!
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00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,280
We believed there was a way out. Karl
has filed a divorce request to the Duke,
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00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,120
but the Duke won't sign the request until
he gets the approval of the church.
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00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,760
The church is opposed to divorce.
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00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,160
But you do allow kings
to get divorced.
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00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,040
Well, as an exception kings get the
permission under exclusive circumstances.
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00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,000
When it is necessary to give
birth to a scion.
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00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,480
Totally different things are necessary
to give birth to a scion.
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00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,040
Well! Baron, allow me to leave.
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00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:44,120
But don't you see, because of these silly
conventionalities 2 good humans suffer.
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00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,440
- The church must bless love.
- Legitimate love!
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00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,480
- Any love is legitimate if it is love.
- That's your point of view!
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00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,520
- I wouldn't agree with you.
- What do you advise?
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00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,120
There's nothing to advise.
Go on living as before.
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00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,800
But according to civil and
ecclesiastical law the wife who
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00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,040
is no longer your wife will be
considered your wife.
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00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,520
Nonsense! How can you, a servant
of the church, advise me to live lying?
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00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,720
He was the fourth, Karl.
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00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,520
Don't care!
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00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,520
We shall invite a fifth, a sixth,
a tenth, a twentieth.
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00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,800
The twentieth will come just
in time for my funeral, Karl.
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00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,240
Let's talk about something else.
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00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,360
Is it worth spoiling
such a nice evening?
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00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,080
- Is it evening now?
- Of course!
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00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,800
Look at the moon, the stars!
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00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,040
I am coming to you, my darling!
200
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,000
So!
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00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,440
Coming!
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00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,360
Perhaps you shouldn't have started
with Sophocles?
203
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:59,040
And this time you overdid it
with the duck too.
204
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,920
I wanted to make him laugh.
205
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,880
They said "a clever man".
206
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,840
People say strange things.
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00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,360
I can't keep changing to suit
every fool can I?
208
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,720
Not forever!
209
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,280
Just for a time, Karl.
210
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,360
Pretend. Become like everyone else.
211
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,480
Become like everyone else, Karl.
I implore you!
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00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,920
Everyone else?
213
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,440
What are you saying?
214
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,400
Like everyone else...
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00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,480
Everyone else.
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00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,880
Everyone else.
217
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,840
Not to fly on cannon-balls....
218
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,360
Not to hunt mammoths,
not to write letters to Shakespeare.
219
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,920
- Why invite trouble, Karl?
- Dinner is ready.
220
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,480
No, darling. I am tired.
221
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,000
All right, dear, sleep.
222
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,360
I'll make it night for you.
223
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,680
Night!
224
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,040
Baron...
225
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,800
What do you mean by shouting at night?
226
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,600
- Is it night?
- Night.
227
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,560
- Since when?
- Since evening. Look at the clock.
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00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,120
Oh!
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00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,400
- Anything else?
- I meant to say the duck is ready.
230
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:27,440
Let it loose. Let it fly!
231
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,200
OK.
232
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,840
Right! Did you see that?
233
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,320
Get up, get up!
234
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,680
Let's continue. Well, well.
235
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,920
Well. What is it?
236
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:12,000
Are you all right, Theo? Good.
Take yourself in hand. Let's continue.
237
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,600
No, no, that's all.
I am not up to it today.
238
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,280
Stop cutting the air, mother!
You can't go on waiting like this
239
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,000
because in the long run he will
get married to this girl
240
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,800
I am sick and tired of your hysterics!
Take yourself in hand.
241
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,840
What can I do?
242
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,040
What can I do?
243
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:36,040
The burgomaster will be back any minute
now. He went to the Duke's chancellery.
244
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,520
What can people at the office do, mother?
We must act ourselves!
245
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,760
Mr.Ramkopf.
246
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,280
Well?
247
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,400
That is something already.
248
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,320
- Good boy, Henrik!
- So!
249
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,560
Mr. Ramkopf, you are a fried of our family
you have done so much for us.
250
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,880
- Take one more step!
- Anything I can.
251
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,680
- Challenge my father to a duel.
- Never.
252
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,440
- But why? - First of all
he will kill me. And secondly...
253
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,480
Number one is enough.
Calm down Theo.
254
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,800
I can't mother!
He is the cause of all my misfortune.
255
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,120
I am 19, but I am still only
a cornet with nothing ahead!
256
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,840
- They didn't even let me participate
in manovres! - Manoeuvres.
257
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,160
Participate in manoeuvres!
The Colonel said
258
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,360
he refused to receive reports
from Baron Munchhausen.
259
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,480
What is it... What is all
this nonsense?
260
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,920
Do you mean to hang this daub
in the house again?
261
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,480
- What do you have against it?
- It infuriates me!
262
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,360
- Cut it to pieces!
- Don't you dare!
263
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,320
He maintains it is
a Rembrandt.
264
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,120
- A who?
- A Rembrandt.
265
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,000
- This one?
- Yes.
266
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,040
Nonsense. A lie!
267
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,840
Of course a lie. But at the auction they
offer 20 thousand for it.
268
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,160
20?. Then sell it.
269
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,720
Selling means acknowledging
that it is true.
270
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,280
A duel! Only a duel!
271
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,320
- Burgomaster. - Good afternoon.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
272
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,200
Oh baroness, you look great
in this Amazon suit!
273
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:13,400
Ramkopf, you are charming as always.
274
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,520
How's life, cornet?
I can see you are all right!
275
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,080
Judging by the amount of compliments
You've brought bad news.
276
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,840
Not too bad. I must admit, though,
that the judge says
277
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,680
so far there is not sufficient ground
to confiscate the baron's estate.
278
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,800
and hand it over to the custody
of the inheritor.
279
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,320
Not sufficient ground? The man
ruined his family, threw his wife
and child into the street.
280
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,280
- What child? I am an officer!
- A wife and officer.
281
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,600
As far as I know they left
of their own free will.
282
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,800
- Very well, but who could live
with such a man? - Frau Martha can.
283
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,040
But she is his lover!
Let's make it clear.
284
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,440
If you have a lover, it's your own
business. Nowadays everyone has a lover.
285
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,840
But you can't get married to them.
That's immoral.
286
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,840
Well. Now we approach the
saddest part of the story.
287
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,360
The thing is that the Duke has said "yes"
to the baron's request for divorce.
288
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,160
So.
289
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,000
So!
290
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,960
- That can't be.
- Unfortunately.
291
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,920
- Is it a fact?
- No, it is not.
292
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,120
- It is not a fact?
- No, it isn't a fact,
293
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,760
it's much more than a fact.
That's what really happened.
294
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,480
The thing is that of late
our beloved duke
295
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,520
has been in a sort of confrontation
with our beloved duchess.
296
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,960
- So what?
- An awful boy. Takes after his father.
297
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,760
Yes. So. They say she caught him
with a maid of honour.
298
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,400
- It was horrible! It was...
- So what?
299
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:44,200
In a state of a certain overexcitement
the Duke gathered and signed
300
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:48,160
some requests for divorce repeating
over and over "Liberty! Liberty to all!"
301
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,000
So. Now you've done it. A duel!
Mr. Ramkopf,
302
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,520
you are an old friend of our family
you have done so much for us.
303
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,880
- No, no, no.
- Do one more thing. Be my second.
304
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,520
- Never!
- But why?
305
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,480
- In the first place he will kill
the second too. - Yes.
306
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,840
- A murderer!
- To the Duke, this minute!
307
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,840
This minute! Mr. Burgomaster,
please accompany me.
308
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,800
A duel! Only a duel!
309
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,640
Murderers!
310
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,160
That's impossible! That's incredible!
That's unacceptable! No way!
311
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,880
His highness is busy with
the most important affairs of state!
312
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,440
He is holding an urgent meeting!
He is not there at all!
313
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,960
Your highness, perhaps the answer
is the left wing? It is unreliable.
314
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,120
The centre troubles me too.
315
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,000
Perhaps in this case it will be
wise to lift the top
316
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,080
and lower the bottom?
- We'll do so.
317
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,760
2 rows of tucks on the left,
2 on the right.
318
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,280
The answer is the waist. What do you say?
Where shall we make the waist?
319
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,600
- At the chest level.
- Superb.
320
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,720
- Superb like everything that's true.
- Exactly at the chest level. 66.
321
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,480
I won't allow to lower the
waist line to the hips. 155.
322
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,760
We after all are the centre of Europe,
323
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,640
and I won't let some Spaniards
set conditions for us.
324
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,680
Should you want a cap sleeve,
very well.
325
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,720
Want a plisse skirt with tucks?
I won't object.
326
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,920
But I won't allow
to lower the waist line.
327
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,640
Your highness! Your highness!
Baroness Jakobina von Munchhausen.
328
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,480
- I am busy.
- I told her so.
329
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,120
I even told her that you were out.
But she entreats.
330
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,480
Damn! I absolutely can't concentrate.
331
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,760
OK. Ask her in.
332
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,680
Your highness! Please forgive me for
intervening with important affairs of the state
333
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,560
but an incredible thing has happened!
- What is it this time?
334
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,480
Did you sign baron Minchhausen's
request for divorce?
335
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,080
Who did? I did?
336
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,920
- Yes, I signed it. - Which means
he can get married to Martha?
337
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:41,800
Why get married?
338
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,480
- Yes, he can get married.
- Yes, but he can't get married!
339
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:54,440
Madmen can't get married.
It is illegal and inhuman.
340
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,240
- And I hope, your highness, you will
revoke your decision. - Why should I?
341
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,240
Because Baron Munchhausen is mad.
342
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,560
How do you mean?
343
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,440
Baroness, we can understand you anger,
344
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:10,520
but it needs serious arguments
to pronounce somebody mad.
345
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,520
Very well. I'll acquaint you
with a certain document
346
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:20,120
and you will see for yourself if the
person who wrote it was sane or not.
347
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,920
May I ask my lawyer
to read the document.
348
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,360
"Timetable"
349
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,560
"Timetable of baron Karl Friedrich
Hieronymus von Munchhausen
350
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,840
for May the 30th 1779"
351
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,400
- Interesting.
- Very.
352
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,440
"Get up - 6 o'clock"
353
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,320
Legal.
354
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,040
Yes! Meaning no! Meaning I agree.
355
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,960
Getting up at such an early our is
unnatural for a person of your class.
356
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,920
Read on, Henrikh.
357
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,640
"7 o'clock - disperse the clouds,
make good weather"
358
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,480
What? What? Let me see.
359
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,560
As my luck would have it
the sky is clear today.
360
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,800
That is, it was foggy in the morning
but later on it cleared away.
361
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,680
You mean to say we owe it to him?
362
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,840
I don't mean to say anything,
baroness.
363
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,160
I merely state that
the weather is remarkable today.
364
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,680
But we have no reason to assume that
it was he who dispersed the clouds.
365
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,760
Neither can we say that
he didn't disperse the clouds.
366
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,960
This statement would contradict
the evidence of our eyes.
367
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,200
Do you laugh at me?
Go on, Henrikh.
368
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,400
"8 till 10 in the morning -
a heroic deed".
369
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,480
What does it mean?
370
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,520
It means that from 8 to 10 in the morning
he plans to do a heroic deed.
371
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:51,960
Well? What would you, Mr. Burgomaster,
say about a man
372
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,560
who plans to do a heroic deed every day
just like we plan to go to work?
373
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,560
I go to work myself, madam.
374
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:04,520
Every day at 9 in the morning I've
got to be at the magistrate.
375
00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:09,240
I won't call it a feat, but surely
there is something heroic about it.
376
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,680
Are you making fun of me?!
377
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,120
Calm down, baroness. I am only
trying to be impartial.
378
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,160
- To hell with you impartiality!
- Quiet, quiet, quiet.
379
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,600
Now, gentlemen, we've come
to a most interesting point.
380
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,760
"16:00 - war with England".
381
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,520
- With whom?!
- With England.
382
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,160
My God, what harm has
England done to him?
383
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,880
Where is it? Where, answer me.
384
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:37,680
- Who?
- England.
385
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,160
Just a moment, your highness. Here.
386
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,000
- And where are we?
- We are... here.
387
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,600
That is pretty close! Outrageous.
388
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:58,640
War is no poker! You can't
declare war when you like.
389
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,440
A war is...
390
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,240
...a war.
391
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,280
My orders are: to immediately find
and seize baron Munchhausen!
392
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,000
Use force in case
of resistance!
393
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,000
- I want to see the commander-in-chief!
- Yes.
394
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,160
War!
395
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,040
Order to the army:
general mobilization!
396
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,960
- Where is the commander-in-chief?
- I am here!
397
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,280
Call back all those transferred
to the reserve, revoke all leaves,
398
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,720
draw up the guard on the central square.
Full summer uniform:
399
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,600
Blue uniform with golden edging,
cap sleeves, wide lapels.
400
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:51,080
Waistline 10 centimetres lower
than in peacetime.
401
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:52,920
- Lower?
- Meaning higher.
402
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,560
- And the chest?
- What about the chest?
403
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,720
- Leave it in place?
- No, take it with us.
404
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,240
- Where is my military uniform?
- Here it is, your highness, please.
405
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,560
What?! I'll never wear this!
A single-breasted uniform!
406
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:09,240
Don't you know that nowadays nobody goes
to war in a single-breasted uniform?
407
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,960
What a disgrace! War is about
to begin and we are not prepared.
408
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,480
No, no we are not ready for war.
409
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,440
Take no prisoners!
410
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,760
Officers!
411
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,320
Check the time! What time is it now?
412
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,960
- 15:00!
- 15 and a quarter!
413
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,440
- More precisely?
- Plus 22!
414
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,000
Everyone stay in place!
415
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,800
- Can I do anything for you?
- Today's evening paper.
416
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,160
Good.
417
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,880
Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus
von Munchhausen
I have orders to put you under arrest.
418
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,360
- If resistance is offered force
is to be used. - By whom?
419
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,360
- What do you mean by whom? - Who is to
use force in case of resistance? You or me?
420
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,360
- I didn't get you. - Perhaps you
should send a messenger to inquire?
421
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:41,240
- Impossible. - Right. Let's both
fulfil the orders. Right?
422
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,120
Good. Just a moment.
423
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,960
So. It must be done like this.
424
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,040
So!
425
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,960
Step aside, gentlemen.
And you better go away altogether.
426
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,080
And certainly...
427
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,880
And dancing! This is a pub after all.
428
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,560
How much more time can it take?
429
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:33,760
Can't you put one single man
under arrest?.. The horse is tired!
430
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,200
Everything is under control, you highness!
Baron Munchhausen will be
arrested any minute now.
431
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,600
Any minute. He asked me to beg
you all not to go away.
432
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,800
Well, what impudence!
433
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,160
Your highness, when he is concerned,
everything goes amiss.
434
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,440
Your highness, probably he has started
writing something again.
435
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,520
But why? Eh.
436
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,040
What is he writing?
437
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,760
- Something about the hunting, probably.
- Yes, yes. It's such an interesting story.
438
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,400
Yes, you know, your highness,
he once went to the wood unarmed...
439
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,680
- How do you mean unarmed?
- I mean to hunt a bear.
440
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:31,120
It was not a bear but a mammoth.
But he did use a gun.
441
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:35,680
- A gun?
- Yes, loaded with a cherry stone.
442
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,280
It was sweet cherry.
443
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,720
First of all, it was not sweet cherry,
but current
444
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,360
And he fired when they
flew over his house.
445
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,360
- The bears.
- Do you think it was mammoths?
446
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:51,720
Then why did all that grow
on the deer's head?
447
00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:58,120
You highness, let me start
from the very beginning.
448
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:01,280
On no account!
Stop it this minute!
449
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,640
In 20 minutes a war
with England will begin.
450
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,160
What about England? It is just
a habit. Always England.
451
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,160
Stop chattering! ln 20 minutes...
452
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,720
...in 20 minutes...
453
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,720
- Now what is that?
- The man under arrest.
454
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,040
Why is the orchestra playing?
455
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,280
Your highness, at first we were
getting ready for holidays
456
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:38,440
then for arrests,
then we decided to combine the two.
457
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,560
Where is our guard?
Where is the guard?
458
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,600
Evidently it is flanking the place.
459
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,240
Flanking whom?
460
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:55,040
Everyone.
461
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,400
- Baron.
- Your highness.
462
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,040
- How are things at home? ls everyone
all right? - Yes, thank you.
463
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,320
- Is it true?
- What?
464
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:23,080
Well, I don't know how to put it.
Well, in general...
465
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:30,440
Well, they say, that you...
that you declared war on England.
466
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:32,280
- I did not.
- You didn't?
467
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:36,160
Not yet. War shall begin
at 4 o'clock.
468
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,280
Unless England accepts the terms
of the ultimatum.
469
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,720
- The ultimatum?
- I sent them the ultimatum.
470
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,560
- To whom? - To the King of England
and members of the British Parliament.
471
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,760
I suggested that England
should stop the senseless war
472
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,040
with North American colonies
and acknowledge their independence.
473
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,360
The ultimatum gives them
the time till 16:00.
474
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,200
If my conditions are not accepted
I personally shall unleash the war.
475
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,680
- You will start the war?
- I will.
476
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,960
Where is the commander in chief?.. Ah?
477
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:11,120
So, in sending the ultimatum
to the King, the baron,
478
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,720
overstepped the mark.
A war is... Well, you know.
479
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,840
- I remember, your highness, when this...
- That will do.
480
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,280
Hand in you spear.
481
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:26,440
Your highness, don't go
against your conscience.
482
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,760
I know you are a noble man and in your
heart are opposed to England too.
483
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,640
- Yes, in my heart I am opposed.
Yes, I don't like it... - Yes.
484
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,800
- But I keep silent.
- A war is...
485
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,560
Wait! To cut a long story short
you are under arrest, baron.
486
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:40,920
Hand in your spear. I am waiting!
487
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,120
Hand it in, quick.
No discipline at all!
488
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:45,560
Whoever wants to, declares a war. Whoever
doesn't want to, doesn't declare war.
489
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:53,560
Baron, Baron, you wanted to see
the evening paper! Here it is!
490
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,920
- Please.
- Yes.
491
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,840
- "Typhoo in Sicily"
- Above.
492
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,680
"Where to take your family"
493
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:11,800
- Above.
- Here.
494
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,240
Ah, yes. "News from abroad:
495
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:19,320
...England acknowledged
American independence".
496
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,240
So!
497
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:30,360
10 to 4. Just in time. They are lucky.
498
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,360
Farewell.
499
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:51,280
- Incredible! He let him go!
- What could he do?
500
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,120
But that is a monstrous coincidence!
Can't you see?
501
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:59,080
He is not a duke. He is a softy!
502
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:03,680
Madam, what do you expect of him?
England capitulated.
503
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:22,880
Why does the war continue?
You mean they don't read newspapers?
504
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,640
Now I remember! He did shoot a deer.
But through the chimney.
505
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:15,080
Bravo! You look great
in this wedding dress.
506
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,320
- Every woman does.
- You look particularly good!
507
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,360
- It's a pity we wear it once a year.
- You will wear it every day.
508
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:22,920
We shall get married every day.
Do you like the idea?
509
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,200
Very much! But first you must
get the divorce.
510
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,440
Do you remember that the divorce
proceedings start in half an hour?
511
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,720
They started long ago.
The moment I saw you.
512
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,080
If you only knew what present
I have prepared for you!
513
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,440
- How many day are there in a year?
- 365...
514
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,640
Take your time.
515
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:54,760
It's difficult to speak when so many
sympathetic eyes are watching you.
516
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:01,360
Divorce is disgusting not only
because it parts the spouses
517
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:07,880
but also because afterwards they call
the man free and the woman dumped.
518
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,200
No! No need to pity me, gentlemen.
519
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,560
Don't humiliate me with pity,
pity yourselves instead.
520
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:29,520
Gentlemen, my husband
is a dangerous man!
521
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:33,760
20 years of my life
were devoted to him!
522
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:41,040
20 years I tried to keep him under control
to keep him in the family!
523
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:46,280
And thus I saved many lives, your lives
I protected society from him!
524
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:50,920
But you sever these ties
with your own hands.
525
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,840
You have no one but yourselves to blame.
That's all right...
526
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,920
That's al right that I am dumped.
That's all right.
527
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,960
It is not all right that he is free!
528
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,360
Think about it, gentlemen of the jury!
529
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,640
- What is she talking about?
- Denouncing the baron.
530
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,560
- What does she say?
- She says he is a bastard, naturally.
531
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:19,080
- A madman, a liar.
- What does she want?
532
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:23,400
- That he doesn't leave her, naturally.
- Logical.
533
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,600
...He must be watched either
by the state or by his family!
534
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,800
I believe the family is better!
535
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,720
- Karl, but why are you so late?
- I believe it is early, not all foolish
things have been said.
536
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:33,800
- Oh Karl, please.
- I understand! Not a word more.
537
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,080
- By the way, I made a remarkable
discovery. - Not again?!
538
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,440
You'll be amazed! It'll change
our life in this town.
539
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:41,120
Baron, I beg you, I just beg you,
please not today!
540
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:44,280
Answer just one question:
How many days are there in a year?
541
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,480
365.
542
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,440
OK. The rest will come later.
543
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,600
Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus
von Munchhausen!
544
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:57,400
I am here, gentlemen.
545
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:01,480
Baron, what comments can you make to the
jury concerning the essence of your case?
546
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:05,680
- That depends on what you consider
the essence. - That's evident.
Why are you asking for divorce?
547
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,280
That is strange, you lived peacefully
for 20 years and all of a sudden
you ask for divorce.
548
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,720
Forgive me, Mr.Judge, but it was
the tragedy that lasted for 20 years
549
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,240
only now everything is going to be
all right. - Explain in more detail.
550
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:18,160
Here are the details.
The Jury, ladies and gentlemen!
551
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:22,560
There are couples born for love.
We were born for divorce.
552
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,560
Strange as it may seem, our marriage
began long before we were born.
553
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,440
The Munchhausens had always wanted
to be related to the von Duttens
554
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,840
and so when a daughter
was born to them,
555
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,880
I was born not merely a boy,
but a husband.
556
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,840
Jakobina hated me since childhood
and managed to
557
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,600
evoke similar feelings in my soul.
558
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,480
When the priest asked us if we
wanted to become husband and wife
559
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,600
we unhesitatingly answered "no"
and were immediately wed.
560
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,800
After the wedding we went
for a wedding trip.
561
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,800
I went to Turkey, my wife chose
Switzerland. For three years we
lived there in love and consent.
562
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,120
I protest! You are
insulting my client!
563
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,280
One can't insult anyone
by telling the truth.
564
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,320
On the whole, I believe you view
on life is a bit narrow
565
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,760
Mr.Ramkopf. Divorce is one of
the greatest achievements of humanity!
566
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:09,800
A minute is enough
to fall in love
567
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,800
But it sometimes takes 20 years
of married life to get divorced.
568
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,120
Those 20 years were hard
But I have no regrets!
569
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,840
Socrates once said to me:
get married by all means.
570
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:27,120
If you get a good wife
you'll be happy,
571
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:31,640
if you get a bad wife you'll become a
philosopher. I can't say which is better.
572
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,360
In any case - I thank you, Jakobina
573
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,000
for having become
what I am now.
574
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,760
And long live the divorce, gentlemen!
575
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,760
It eliminates lies that
I hate so much.
576
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:52,320
Great God, let
everything be all right.
577
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,240
Dear God, help us,
we love each other so much.
578
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,400
And don't be mad at Karl, dear God.
579
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,320
He is insolent, he will often argue
with you. But you are older, dear God,
580
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,000
You are wiser, you must concede.
Concede, my Lord!
581
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,920
You have suffered so long,
Have a little more patience.
582
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,280
Patience, gentlemen! Patience!
Our session is coming to a close.
583
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,440
Silence! We are starting
the divorce procedure.
584
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:17,320
Baron, baroness, please come up to me
585
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,960
and take a look at divorce documents.
586
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,520
Sign them please.
587
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,520
Put the date.
588
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,800
Mr. Pastor, please.
589
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:38,480
In the name of the holy consistory
I proclaim you free of each other.
590
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:42,480
Wait! Stop! Our proceedings were
Turned into an ugly farce.
591
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,320
Mr. Judge, please read once again
592
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,040
thought Baron Munchhausen's
divorce paper.
593
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,600
- I, Baron Karl von Munchhausen...
- Look at the date!
594
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:56,440
The year of 1779, May the 32nd.
595
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,520
How is it possible?
596
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:08,240
Baron, you are mistaken, this date
does not exist. - It does!
597
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:12,960
- Well, if yesterday it was the 31st of May
then what date is it today? - The 32nd.
598
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:16,760
I discovered this date. It is my
present to the town of my birth.
599
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,840
- I'll explain everything to you!
- Gentlemen, gentlemen!
600
00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:23,560
I'll explain everything to you!
601
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:30,240
It can't be, it can't be!
602
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,720
Bravo.
603
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,000
- The 30 what?
- The thirty second, your highness.
604
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:41,880
Where is he proposing to insert it?
605
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,600
Right here.
606
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:49,040
- the 29th, the 30th, the 31st...
- the 32nd.
607
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:51,320
But there is no space here.
608
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,000
That is why the jury considered
themselves deeply offended!
609
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,960
We ask you to revoke the
divorce decision.
610
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:03,000
The 29th, the 30th, the 31st...
611
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,400
And so on.
612
00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:26,840
I begged you! Why couldn't you
wait till tomorrow?
613
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,520
Oh but why, why? I begged you so!
614
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,040
Because I could not.
Because it is today!
615
00:53:32,240 --> 00:53:35,600
- Because it is already today! I have
discovered a new date. - Ah, yes, yes.
616
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,440
- I'll explain everything to you. - Don't
bother, don't! I am an old, sick man.
617
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:41,240
I have a weak heart, the doctors
told me not to get excited.
618
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,320
- In the first place you are
a clever man. - I am foolish.
619
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:44,760
- Clever.
- Foolish.
620
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,640
- Please. You must understand. - No, I am
foolish! I don't want to understand anything.
621
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:49,440
- How many days are there in a year?
- I don't know!
622
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,520
- 365.
- I am not sure!
623
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,720
Right. A usual year lasts
365 days and 6 hours.
624
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,080
These 6 hours are summed up
and make a new day.
625
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:03,040
So that every 4th year is
a leap year.
626
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:07,160
But I got curious if there were exactly
365 days and 6 hours in a year.
627
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,480
As t turned out it was not so!
628
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:15,080
The usual year lasts for 365 days,
6 hours and 3 seconds! 3!
629
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,240
Every astronomer can tell you that.
630
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:22,280
It is enough to go up to the stars
with a chronometer
631
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,720
to watch the movement of the Earth.
632
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:30,120
I did it more than once.
Martha can tell you.
633
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:33,520
3 unregistered seconds!
634
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:39,200
For some reason 3 seconds are
not taken into account. Why?
635
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,040
My darling, we have extra seconds at our
disposal, but nobody pays attention to them.
636
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,240
Years pass and these seconds make up
minutes, in several hundreds
of years they make up hours.
637
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,040
So now, my dear friends since
the time our town was founded
638
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:56,520
we now have an extra day
the 32nd of May!
639
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:58,400
- Is that all?
- It is!
640
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:02,680
Well. And you couldn't think of a better
time to announce your discovery?
641
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:05,960
The court has got nothing to do with it.
It was important for me to let
people know and that's what I did.
642
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,600
Did you expect them to believe you?
643
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,400
One cannot ignore facts.
We are not idiots after all
644
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,160
to refuse to accept
an extra day in a year.
645
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,920
Thomas! Thomas!
646
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:23,920
Thomas! Are you happy that we
now have the 32nd of May?
647
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:33,520
Not quite, Baron.
648
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,720
On the 1st of June I get my wages.
649
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:47,480
You didn't understand.
650
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,800
Are you happy to have a new day?
651
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,400
That depends on what day
of the week it is.
652
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,960
If it is Sunday, it is a pity.
653
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:08,000
And if it is Monday, then what
do we need two Mondays for?
654
00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:10,240
Get out!
655
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:26,960
And you, Martha?
656
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,680
You do understand that I am right,
don't you?
657
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:45,080
Sorry Karl. I am all mixed up.
658
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:50,480
Probably you are right.
I am no good at calculations.
659
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:55,360
But we won't be wed now.
That's what I do understand.
660
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,880
I am leaving. Don't be mad
at me, darling.
661
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:01,120
I am tired.
662
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,720
I love you.
663
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,200
I love you.
664
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:31,400
I love you. Don't, please.
665
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,560
I know, darling.
666
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,640
But even for my sake you
won't make any concessions.
667
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:44,280
Do you remember, when we met
Shakespeare, he said:
668
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:49,120
"All people in love swear
to do more than they can,
669
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,720
but don't do even what is possible".
670
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:59,040
Well... He said it in a bad mood
671
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:04,200
He didn't mean it.
- Who? Shakespeare?
672
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:08,520
Then he added: "Difficulties only
673
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:12,360
make love stronger".
674
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:19,720
We have more than enough
of difficulties.
675
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,800
I can't cope with them.
676
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:31,320
Oh God, why didn't you
get married to Joan of Arc?
677
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,320
She agreed.
678
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:39,920
I knew I would meet Martha.
679
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,120
But I am only a woman.
680
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,600
Don't ask of me more
than I can do.
681
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:04,560
I am not fit for the 32nd of May.
682
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:13,320
I say, dear Baron, you can't stretch
a woman's patience in this way.
683
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,880
Can't you agree - for her sake,
for the sake of your family -
684
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:19,480
that today is exactly the same date
that the calendar indicates?
685
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:22,560
- How could I?
- Yes, you can, my dear! You can.
686
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:26,640
You are no better then the rest!
I'll be quite frank with you:
687
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:31,240
I am not happy with a lot of things,
I don't agree with a lot of things.
688
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:35,400
Yes, yes! ln particular
689
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:38,800
I am not happy with our calendar.
690
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,160
And not for the first year.
691
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,960
But I won't let myself
do anything rush!
692
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:53,720
One must know how to
chose the right moment.
693
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:57,120
- But I told the truth.
- Damn the truth!
694
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:01,360
Sometimes a lie is necessary.
You understand, a lie.
695
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,200
My God!
696
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:09,240
Just think of it! I have to explain these
Self-evident things to Baron Munchhausen.
697
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,640
You'll drive me mad! Really.
698
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,560
Do you think so too?..
No, don't say a word!
699
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:21,040
I'll do it myself.
700
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:23,960
Myself.
701
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:28,720
All right. Good.
702
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,840
Let it be your way.
703
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:46,600
What shall I do now?
704
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,720
Well? Are you going to keep silent?
705
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:33,240
I am tired of explaining the same
thing over and over again.
706
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:38,760
I was naive enough to believe
that an extra Spring day...
707
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:45,960
One more sunset, one more sunrise.
708
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,280
Midday at last.
709
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,120
No, no, let's leave midday as it is.
710
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:56,080
Whether we like it or not, there is
a certain order of things:
711
01:01:56,280 --> 01:02:00,400
...one day comes after another.
We can't change the passage of time.
712
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:04,360
- That's not good.
- That's unacceptable!
713
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:07,680
People won't know holidays
from week-days any more.
714
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:10,760
Worst of all, my dear,
715
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:15,520
parishioners won't know for sure
when it is Christmas and when Easter.
716
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:22,680
They will be at a loss what to put on.
A business frock-coat or
a holiday dinner jacket?
717
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:26,480
Mr. Judge, your highness,
The baron has realized his mistake.
718
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:31,800
Yes, of course he spoke without
proper thinking. Now he is sorry!
719
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:36,040
So you are prepared to acknowledge
that today is the 1st of June?
720
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:45,320
Be it even the 10th.
721
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:49,720
Not the 10th but the 1st.
And don't do favours to us.
722
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:53,400
So what date is it today?
723
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:05,360
The 1st.
724
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:08,440
Louder, please. For everybody.
725
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,520
The 1st.
726
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,960
Now! You see how simple it is.
727
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:20,800
Baron, you are a reasonable man.
728
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:24,680
I have always liked you.
729
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:29,040
I respected you way of thought.
730
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:34,160
Free shoulder line, tight trousers.
731
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:40,600
You could become an example
for the youth.
732
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:45,360
They need one badly.
733
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,240
If you could only find
peace with yourself
734
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,560
I am sure our dear pastor
735
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:57,080
There he is! He was wise
to stay behind.
736
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:00,680
He will wed you and your beloved.
737
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:07,360
Won't you, father? Won't you?
738
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:12,080
I will, but on one condition:
the baron must disavow everything.
739
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:15,600
- Everything? - Yes, yes, every one
of your unholy fantasies.
740
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,920
You must acknowledge
that they are all lies!
741
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:21,880
I insist that it be done in writing.
742
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:29,480
- In writing? - Yes. You lied in writing
and you must disavow in writing.
743
01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:31,880
It should be an official document.
744
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:35,160
"I baron such and such state
that I am a common man"
745
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,160
"That I didn't fly to the Moon,
then...
746
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,080
...didn't pull myself by the hair out of
the bog, didn't ride on cannon-balls".
747
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:42,360
"Did not let fried ducks loose"
748
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,200
"Did not grow a cherry tree
on the deer's head"
749
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,400
Yes, yes. And thus on every point.
750
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:51,040
And also in family life, baron,
let's do away with fantasies.
751
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:54,320
Yes, yes, yes. Let's do away
with fantasies.
752
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,200
Everything remains the same
only no fantasies.
753
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:02,400
All right. I will sign everything.
754
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:08,440
Since nobody needs a new day,
let it be your way.
755
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:13,640
That's good. And don't look
so tragic, my dear.
756
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:20,200
Take it with your traditional
sense of humour.
757
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,160
Humour!
758
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:27,960
After all, Galileo disavowed
his ideas too.
759
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:34,920
That's why I always preferred
Giordano Bruno.
760
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:37,440
Well, well. Don't complicate matters.
761
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:41,600
Baron, you still can secretly believe.
762
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:48,560
I can't do anything secretly.
763
01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:52,040
I can do things only openly.
764
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,520
Well, well...
765
01:06:58,080 --> 01:06:59,600
My dear!
766
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:11,560
"I, Baron Munchhausen,
am a common man".
767
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:15,480
Sounds like the first lines
of a romance.
768
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:22,960
"I never flew to the Moon".
All right. I didn't.
769
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,240
But
770
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:35,040
my dear friends, if you only
knew how beautiful it is.
771
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:42,280
White mountains and red stones
in the rays of sunset.
772
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:47,400
All right. I didn't ride
the cannon-ball either
773
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:51,760
in that terrible battle with the Turks
when half of my regiment perished.
774
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:55,600
They drove us into the damned mire,
but we held out!
775
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:02,280
We held out and struck at the flanks.
776
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:06,160
At that moment my horse took
a false step and began to drown.
777
01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:11,320
Then I grabbed my own hair and
pulled with all my might
778
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:17,240
I pulled and we rose over the sedge!
779
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:26,200
I will sign, I will!
780
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:32,840
Why invite trouble.
781
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:40,200
Since nobody needs
an extra Spring day
782
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:42,680
Iet's forget it.
783
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:46,960
On such a day it is hard
to live but easy to die.
784
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:54,600
In five minutes, dear friends,
Baron Munchhausen will be no more.
785
01:09:01,480 --> 01:09:05,240
Baron, my dear, there is a
bright side to everything!
786
01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:09,080
At least the town will cease
laughing at you.
787
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:11,280
A pity!
788
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:18,560
I was not afraid to seem funny.
Not every one can afford it.
789
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:23,800
Before we part I have one more idea.
You will all laugh.
790
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:30,880
Karl. Please, Karl.
791
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:32,680
Karl!
792
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:38,520
- Don't!
- Karl! Baron!
793
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:41,680
- I beg you, Karl!
- Baron! Baron!
794
01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:44,360
END OF EPISODE ONE
66709
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