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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,851 --> 00:00:04,021 (ominous synth music) 2 00:01:03,966 --> 00:01:06,466 (eerie music) 3 00:01:36,871 --> 00:01:40,041 (car engine rumbling) 4 00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:02,083 (sighs) 5 00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:32,240 - [Kendra] Your room's really cute right? 6 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,650 - I guess. 7 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:36,540 - [Kendra] Well, it'll be fun to go 8 00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:38,340 to school and meet new friends. 9 00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:40,460 - Maybe. 10 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,640 - All right sweetheart, I love you. 11 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:47,932 - [Jamie] Goodnight. 12 00:02:56,805 --> 00:02:59,465 (door latching) 13 00:03:26,429 --> 00:03:29,349 (ominous rumbling) 14 00:04:09,154 --> 00:04:11,904 (dramatic music) 15 00:04:18,197 --> 00:04:21,027 (switch clicking) 16 00:04:43,368 --> 00:04:45,448 Are their mice down here? 17 00:05:25,515 --> 00:05:28,425 (ghostly whispers) 18 00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:47,644 - [Teddy Bear] I love a cuddle. 19 00:06:03,679 --> 00:06:06,179 (eerie music) 20 00:06:16,287 --> 00:06:19,197 (ghostly whispers) 21 00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:36,550 (gasps) 22 00:06:36,553 --> 00:06:38,173 - What are you doing down here? 23 00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:39,420 - [Jamie] Looking for mice. 24 00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:40,620 - Mice? 25 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,300 - Yeah I thought I heard them. 26 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,490 - Oh Jamie that's so gross. 27 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:47,630 - Look at all the animals I found. 28 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:51,190 - I see, but honey they probably belong 29 00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:52,810 to the girl who lived here before us, 30 00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:54,790 so we've gotta get 'em back to her. 31 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,582 - But I found them, they're mine. 32 00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:58,990 - No honey. 33 00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:04,390 Look, how would you feel 34 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,900 if you left all your stuffed animals when we moved 35 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,660 and somebody else took them? 36 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,250 - Pissed off. 37 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,610 - Exactly, exactly. 38 00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:17,500 Hey, no language. 39 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,620 - Can I at least have one of 'em for tonight please? 40 00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:30,260 - Only one and only for tonight, okay? 41 00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:33,950 Go to bed, I love you. 42 00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:34,780 Goodnight. 43 00:07:34,783 --> 00:07:37,043 - [Man] Look we don't want 'em, we don't need 'em. 44 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,820 Anything left in the house after closing 45 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:40,160 is your property now. 46 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,020 We have no desire for you to go out of your way-- 47 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:43,300 - It's really not that big of a deal. 48 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,050 I can have it shipped to you no problem. 49 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,337 - [Man] You don't need to ship 'em to us, 50 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,100 you don't need to go stand in line for two hours 51 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,770 with those government morons 52 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,700 in order to send us something we don't want and we don't-- 53 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:54,150 - I was just trying to do the right thing, I figured-- 54 00:07:54,150 --> 00:07:55,010 - You need to listen to me right now. 55 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,410 My wife is very ill-- 56 00:07:56,414 --> 00:07:57,254 - Okay, okay. - And you're interrupting 57 00:07:57,247 --> 00:08:01,267 time together, I can't-- - Okay, whatever bye. 58 00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:02,688 Freaking asshole. 59 00:08:09,527 --> 00:08:12,027 (eerie music) 60 00:08:59,293 --> 00:09:01,293 (gasps) 61 00:09:14,405 --> 00:09:17,155 (water dripping) 62 00:09:23,371 --> 00:09:26,121 (Jamie laughing) 63 00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:32,026 - I got in the closet when I wasn't supposed to 64 00:09:32,032 --> 00:09:34,552 and I got some candy and I got so grounded. 65 00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:35,380 - Hey. 66 00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,580 Who are you talking to? 67 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:39,500 - Princess. 68 00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:42,870 - Princess? 69 00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:43,700 - Mom! 70 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,910 - Listen honey, I know you love your 71 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:58,090 princess, but if you could not mess with my wash please. 72 00:09:58,090 --> 00:09:59,070 - I didn't. 73 00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:02,610 - Okay. 74 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,060 Do you wanna watch a movie with me? 75 00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:06,890 - Yeah. 76 00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:15,460 - [Man On TV] Around my area. 77 00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:18,890 Um, it's just that it's the closest 78 00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:21,920 I've come to intimacy with a woman. 79 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:26,650 - [Therapist On TV] We all dance to the beat of our drum. 80 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,070 Her name's Emily. 81 00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:32,333 - So you really like that thing don't you? 82 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,300 - [Therapist On TV] Interested in her are you? 83 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,390 - [Man On TV] No, no. 84 00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:41,220 - Well, I guess it is pretty enough to be on a cereal box. 85 00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:43,520 - [Man On TV] I said it was the most intimate. 86 00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:46,420 I didn't say in and of itself-- 87 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,600 - Silly rabbit, it's just for kids. 88 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:49,430 - Mom. 89 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,690 - [Therapist On TV] But you have a radiating-- 90 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,595 - I thought it was funny. 91 00:10:54,598 --> 00:10:55,428 Okay. 92 00:10:55,431 --> 00:10:56,971 Okay, okay, do you want a snack? 93 00:10:56,971 --> 00:10:58,081 - [Jamie] No. 94 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,600 - Okay, T.V. off, bedtime. 95 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,230 - [Man On TV] Do you think it'd be cool if I asked her out? 96 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,390 - [Therapist On TV] Evelynn? 97 00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:07,010 - [Man On TV] Yeah, I mean I could just-- 98 00:11:07,006 --> 00:11:09,756 (dramatic music) 99 00:11:27,042 --> 00:11:29,512 (TV chiming) 100 00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:32,480 - Now this knife is so sharp it could cut through anything. 101 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,250 You could take a shoe, it'd cut through it 102 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,540 and then you could cut through fruit right after it. 103 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:36,370 It's perfect. 104 00:11:36,373 --> 00:11:37,213 Give me the Shiv. 105 00:11:37,206 --> 00:11:38,506 All right so you know I said this 106 00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:39,340 could cut through anything. 107 00:11:39,343 --> 00:11:40,323 - Anything? - Anything. 108 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,240 - [Chef's Assistant] Even bone? 109 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,810 - Bone? What are you a moron? 110 00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:44,680 Of course it can cut through bone, give me the bird. 111 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,630 Just give me the bird. 112 00:11:48,631 --> 00:11:51,151 We've got here a nice rotisserie chicken, okay? 113 00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:52,480 I'm gonna show you how the Miracle Shiv 114 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,790 can cut through the bone like it was butter. 115 00:11:54,790 --> 00:11:55,620 Ready for this? 116 00:11:57,631 --> 00:11:58,731 Now watch this. 117 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,670 I cut the whole chicken right in half. 118 00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,750 I mean look at that. 119 00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:04,580 Perfect. 120 00:12:06,249 --> 00:12:07,079 Look at how thin that chicken is. 121 00:12:07,082 --> 00:12:07,922 I mean you could basically see through that. 122 00:12:07,915 --> 00:12:09,495 You could make lingerie out of this and Victoria's Secret 123 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,820 would buy it from me, and that's how good this is. 124 00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,150 Oh my god - Yeah. 125 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,890 - All right so what we're gonna do now is numb nuts 126 00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:17,850 here is gonna cut up this pepper for us, okay? 127 00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:18,960 All right numb nuts, come on. 128 00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:22,634 Why do you have to be so mean to me? 129 00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:24,920 Judas was a better assistant than this guy. 130 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,730 Seriously, just cut-- 131 00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:28,950 - You know what, you can cut the pepper your self. 132 00:12:28,954 --> 00:12:30,294 Prick. 133 00:12:31,844 --> 00:12:35,324 - The Miracle Shiv not only will cut your chicken, 134 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,970 it'll weed the assholes out of your friendship group. 135 00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:41,455 Alright, now 136 00:12:41,463 --> 00:12:42,893 here's what I'm gonna do. 137 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:46,187 I'm gonna include two Miracle Shivs for the price of one. 138 00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:49,450 So you're gonna get not only the Miracle Shiv original-- 139 00:12:49,451 --> 00:12:52,201 (dramatic music) 140 00:12:56,537 --> 00:12:58,697 (ripping) 141 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,617 (door creaking) 142 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,861 (ghostly whispers) 143 00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:58,900 (thudding) 144 00:14:20,309 --> 00:14:25,309 (hissing) (ghostly whispers) 145 00:15:27,912 --> 00:15:28,752 - Mom. 146 00:15:29,622 --> 00:15:30,802 (groans) 147 00:15:30,802 --> 00:15:33,822 Can I please sleep with you tonight? 148 00:15:33,817 --> 00:15:35,687 - [Kendra] Why? 149 00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:37,770 - I don't wanna be alone. 150 00:15:38,908 --> 00:15:40,238 - [Kendra] Okay. 151 00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:17,916 (ghostly whispers) 152 00:16:17,923 --> 00:16:20,763 (dramatic music) 10349

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