All language subtitles for The.Unicorn.S01E18.No.Matter.What.the.Future.Brings.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Delia, this outfit,
does it make it look

like I'm trying
too hard?
Honey,

do you remember when my mother
thought she was the first person

to discover Bitmojis?

[laughs]: Yeah.Yeah. This is like that.

Except I can't block it.

I'm just so nervous,
you know? I...

I'm trying to get a job
at this company,

and the oldest person there
is, like,

15 years younger than I am.

You've got this.
Just breathe. Calm.

Centered.
Nobody
in the history

of humanity has ever been calmed
or centered by that gesture.

Okay.
Oh, hey,

hey, what about the beanie?

It's got a picture

of a little beanie on it.

That's meta.
Young people live for meta.

Honey, I'm sorry, but you
are really overthinking this.

Age is just a number.

It doesn't mean anything.

You just got to believe
in yourself

and your skills.

And your...

beautiful, shiny head.

[phones ring]Hmm.

FORREST [on speakerphone]:
I'm just worried

because Jill's birthday
hit Wade so hard last year.

Poor guy. Wouldn't leave
the cemetery for hours.

I would check on him, but...

I-I can't, you know,
'cause... Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Ear things down.

Ben. Hey, Ben.

Hang on, okay?
Don't hang up.

I'm gonna go ahead
and hang up now.

I will get Michelle to check in

on Wade, though. She's free.

Ben?

Ben.

MICHELLE:
Oh, I'm free? Sure.

All I've got to do is

drop off four kids,
grab Kai's cap and gown,

and decorate for his
graduation party tomorrow.

I'd check in on Wade myself,

but I have to work.

I mean...
clearly motherhood is work.

More flexible hours.

Or less.
[groans]

I should stop talking.Yes, you should.

But I'll go check on Wade.

Ben?

Ben, you there?

GRACE:
This could not be any worse! WADE: Grace.

You need to open the door.

I'm sure the dress
looks wonderful.

It's a disaster!
Justin can't see me like this.

Do you really think
Justin can see me like this?

Ican't see you like this.

Will you please
just open the door?

You-you look great.

Really? This is
what looks great,

the fact that
you can see my bra?

Is that what you're saying
looks great? That's weird.

I didn't say that.So you're saying I look great

as long as I'm standing
against a wall?

So I should just stand against
a wall the entire night tonight?

That's your solution?

Yes, that's my solution.

That is so not funny!

Grace, come on, I'm just...

She's been acting
like this all week.

Do you think she's on drugs?

Worse. She's a teenager.

Oh, my God.

Oh! My-my...

my lips are on fire.

You kissed me
right on my acne medicine.What...

Since when do you have acne?!

[groans]

♪

MICHELLE:
Wade?

Hey, hey, hey.
Come in.

Oh, am I interrupting?

No, no, not at all.

I was just
checking on you,

with Jill's birthday
and everything.

Thank you. We're...

we're doing okay.Okay, well,

when I saw the
thing on Facebook...

I know. Yeah.

I thought about closing
the account, but...

people leave such nice messages.

Oh, what are they
writing? Ooh, sorry.

I didn't mean
to look at that.

Oh, no, no, no.
That's-that's fine.

What you do when you're alone,
that's your business.

It's not porn, Michelle.

I'm bra shopping.

Okay.
For Grace.

So that she
can look good

for some horrible boy.[chuckles]

I mean, I shouldn't say that.

I'm sure he's a very nice guy.
But I hate him.

On principle.

I mean, I can't believe it.

I mean, it wasn't that long ago
that all she wanted to do

on Friday nights was curl up
on the couch with me,

eat ice cream and watch
terrible Tinker Bell movies.

Yeah. Time flies.Yeah.

Speaking of, I have to go save
some seats for Kai's graduation.

Preschool parents
are jackals.

Can someone please bring Eli
a Gatorade?

I need a urine sample from him,
and he's given me nothing.

What's going on?The rep from
Vizor Pharma

is here, and you're
blocking my view.

Okay, guys, are we in an office,

or is this a...

Oh.

That's an...
attractive man.

Can I interest any of you in
a pop socket or a stress ball?

I'll take both.
[chuckles]

How about you, Dr. Delia?

[giggles]:
You...

No, that's what
my patients call me.

You just call me Delia,
or just whatever.

Well, you know,
old habits die hard.

That's true, th-that's true,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

What... what are we...
what are we talking about?

I was your patient.

Ted Lasker.

Teddy Lasker?

Who used to put the
Hot Wheels up your...?

Yep. That was me.
Wh...

You're so...

big now.

Big.

Big boy.

[indistinct chatter]

Ah.

Oh, good.
I didn't miss anything.

You missed Kai
having a meltdown

because his robe was itchy.

Hmm.
And Kai refusing
to look at the camera

for his picture,
and Kai's slap fight

with his best friend Lucas.

Okay, I get it.
I'm sorry.

But on the upside...Hmm?

[singsongy]: ...this is
the last kid in preschool.

Meaning?

Meaning starting this fall,

they'll all be in school
seven hours a day.

Think of all the extra
time you'll have.

What's wrong?

Nothing. Just emotional
that little Kai

is about to be a graduate.

[smacks lips]
Preschoolgraduate.

[door opens]Hey, girls!

BOTH:
Hey, Dad.

Grace, I got bras.

Ten of 'em.
They had questions

that I couldn't answer, so...
I went with every possibility.

Thanks, Dad, for going
to that trouble, but, um...

I've decided
I'm not going to the dance.

What happened?Nothing happened.

I'd just rather stay at home,
have some ice cream

and watch a movie.
Is that okay?

Uh, of-of course that's okay.

Yeah,
whatever you want.Cool. Thanks.

Okay.

Awesome. What are
we gonna watch?

Um...

Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[groans] How about something
from this century?

[sighs]

And Tobin breaks free!
She heads

down the field,
goes for the kick and...

Oh!

You're supposed
to block it!

I did.
With your hands.

[groaning]You weren't paying
attention.

What's up with you?

[exhales]

I just wish I knew
what was going on

with Grace and this dance.

I know what's going on.

Justin got pink eye.

Oh. Okay. Well,

can't she just go
with her friends?

Well, she was supposed to go
with Jenna and Nika,

but then Jenna and Nika,
they have dates,

so then she felt like
she'd be the fifth wheel,

but then she couldgo
with Lexi, Claire and Maisie,

but then Lexi and Maisie
aren't talking to each other,

so Grace would have
to pick sides,

so then that leaves Audrey,
Tess and Phoebe,

but then they're like
the Three Musketeers, so...Yeah, okay, okay,

I get it, I get it-- she
doesn't have anyone to go with.

Yeah.
Okay.

[sighs]

♪

[cheering]

[choked up]: Look
at my little man.

[stifled sobs]

Forrest?

Huh?
Uh, Asher's ready
to see you now.

Great. Here I come.

Got a little beanie
on your beanie.

It's meta.
Oh. No, I know.

All right, well, let's,
get you back there.

Right. Damn it.

BEN:
So, she still wants

to watch movies with you
on the couch.

That's great!Yeah, but is it?

I mean, it's
her first dance.

I mean, she should go
to her first dance,

shouldn't she?[scoffs]

You're talking
to the wrong guy.

I just fell apart at a
five-year-old's graduation.

[grunts]

Once my little man learns
how to wipe his own butt,

I'm gonna lose it.

Ah.

[sighs]

Kid next door
still scared of you?

When I walked in on him
and Grace making out last year,

I think I made
a negative impression on him.

Mmm.

You know, he's not a bad kid.

Mr. Felton.

Don't worry, Andrew,
I come in peace.

Andrew just asked me
to the dance.

Did he? Really?

That's so nice.
I-I love Andrew.

What'd you do?

N-Nothing.

[exhales]

I was just thinking

that you don't have anybody
to go with and you like him,

and he really likes you.

Did you talk to him?!

For, like, one minute.

Did you threaten him again?

Look, I didn't threaten him
the first time, Grace. Come on.

How do you even know
he really wants to go with me?

Oh, please.

He totally likes you.
It's gross.

Shut up.

[sighs]:
I don't know.

Andrew? I mean,
it's-it's not what I expected.

No, but sometimes

unexpected can
be wonderful.

I mean, you remember
how I met your mom.

Yes, we know.
She ran up to you

at the mall like a crazy woman.

Because she found
this dirty old teddy bear.

It was a stuffed dog,
and she was worried

that some little
kid lost it, so...

I helped her look.
And after an hour

of bothering everybody in
the mall, we found the kid.

And the look on your
mother's face...

I will...That's when you knew
you had to see her again.

Yeah.

We know.
You've told us this story

a hundred times, Dad.And it makes

you and Mom
sound like huge dorks.WADE: Yeah,

well, if we
hadn't have found each other,

you two little dorks
wouldn't be here.

You know what?

I'm gonna tell Andrew yes.

Oh, my God, the dance is
in two hours!
What?

Oh, well, that's
plenty of time.

I can see from the look on
your faces that it's not.

♪

Ben, pin me.

I gotcha.

Okay, danglies or hoops?

Uh, danglies.

Smile.
WADE:
Are these the chunky,

strappy ones?

They allhad straps.

Wow.
[laughs]

Thanks, Dad.

And... thanks
for making me go tonight.

Of course.

And neither of these
are the shoes I wanted.

I'll go...Try again?

Yeah, I'll keep...
yes, keep going.
Yeah.

MICHELLE:
Come on, Grace.
Okay.
GRACE: Sorry.

Let's put on the other earring.
Hold on.

Now look over here.

Look over here.
Uh, Andrew?

Look here.Put your chin down.

Look right here,
look right here at me.

[overlapping chatter]

Guys, guys, if you let
me take a good one,

I'll e-mail it to you, okay?
All right, so...

put your hands-- ah--
straighten out your jacket,

and your shoulders, put
your shoulders up high.

Guys, guys, guys! Guys!

Forrest...
I got it!You got what?

I got the job!
I start on Monday!
Please.

BEN: Wow!Congratulations!

Yay!
Congratulations!

Can you guys just...
Can we still...

Yes! You got
the job! Yes!

I just want...
I'm just trying...

Oh, my God! Look at you!
You guys look so great!

[chatter continues]

All right, guys.
Okay, great. Just look...

Please, just look
right here really quick.[horn honks]

Uh, sorry, my mom's
getting impatient.Dad, can we please go?

Of course.

Yes, of course you can.

Go ahead. Go.Come on.

Okay. Hi. Hey. Hey.
Paparazzi.

Bye.

Okay, bye.
WADE:
Bye-bye.

[Ben and Wade sigh]

There she goes.

You did it.

We all did it.

[sighs]

You good, Wade?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

I'm just gonna go pace around
till Grace gets home.

[groans loudly][laughs]

Forrest, beer run.

I have no idea
what's going on.

Where is she going?Yeah, we got a lot
to fill you in on.

Yeah, totally.Hey, but you
got the job!

I got the job, though! Right?

I told you. I told you.[laughs]
It's good.

WADE:
To Jill on her birthday. [glasses clink]

Cheers.

DELIA:
And to my Forrest

and his new job.

Aw. Thank you, sweetie.Aw, I'm so proud of you.

Wow, what a night.

WADE: You know,
I will never forget

the first time
we walked Grace

out that door to go
to kindergarten.

And now she's
at a dance with a boy

and Natalie's got acne.[laughs]

I mean, how-how could time
move so quickly?DELIA: Wow.

FORREST:
You know what? I bought

a light bulb the other day.

And it's one of those
new ones, you know,

that's supposed
to last 15 years.

And I realized

that the next time
I change this bulb,

Addie will have graduated
from college.

DELIA:
What?Wow.

Yeah. It's like,
what is going on?MICHELLE: Tell me about it.

For the last 12 years, I've
had at least one little one

underneath me
all day long,

getting on my nerves.

Now they're gonna
all be in school

for seven hours a day.
What am I gonna do?

Are you thinking
about getting a job?MICHELLE: Job?

I haven't been in the workforce
for 12 years.

I only have
a year and a half of college.

What kind of job can I get?

BEN: You could take
some time for yourself.

Relax.

I can't relax all day.
That's stressful.

Hmm.
DELIA:
You think time

is just kind of
standing still.

You know, you're in the
same house, same office,

same doctor scale that
looks like a giraffe.

And yet little kids
that didn't know

where to park their Hot Wheels
are growing up,

having sex, getting jobs,

being hot.

MICHELLE: I'm sure
I agree with you.

DELIA:
Yeah.
But what?

[laughs]
FORREST:
And when I was unemployed,

the days just crawled by.

And now I got a weekend before
I have to go back to work.[chuckles]

You know, and I had
so many plans, too.

I was gonna take
sailing lessons.

I-I was gonna build
that model ship.

Yeah.I was gonna binge The Wire.

Oh, I hear that's such a
great show.
20 people told me

I need to watch that.
Yeah.

I still haven't even seen
Breaking Bad. FORREST: Guys,

we're not thatold.

We're not that old. Come on.

Who wants a refill?DELIA:
Oh, not me.

'Cause it's 8:15. Oh, my God!

I am a hundred years old.[laughter]

And guess what? It was Andrew.

[chuckles]

Oh, Grace was so nervous.

And I was so nervous, but...

[sighs]

We pulled it off.

I wish you could have seen her.

Oh, she was...

[sighs]
She was glowing.

Just so... so beautiful.

So grown-up.

As for me, well...

I know you were worried
about me.

But I'm doing okay.

I've been trying to get out
into the dating world, but...

but you're a tough act
to follow.

And you know what?

Maybe you were the one true love
of my life, Jill.

Maybe lightning
doesn't strike twice.

And if so,

well, I got to have you
for 20 years.

Which makes me
the luckiest guy ever.

I'm sorry
I missed your birthday.

[grunts]

I hope you like the flowers.

I love you.

[groans]

[exhales]

Let me ask you something, Ben.

Mm-hmm.Do you like college girls?

Okay, look, I don't know
what you think you saw, baby,

but you go to these sports
sites, and these windows.

They just... they just pop up.
You don't have to do anything...

Stop. I don't know
what you're talking about,

and I don't want to know.

I was looking for a sexy way
to tell you something.

Okay.Now, Kai going to school
is just the beginning.

Before we know it,
Sahai's gonna be driving.

Then Noah, God help us.

Okay, that's terrifying.
Yeah.

So I need to figure out
what's next for me.

I never finished school,
and it's about time.

I've got a mind for business,
and it's just being wasted.

Michelle Taylor, college girl.

I like the sound of that.[chuckles]

Ooh.

Walking across the quad
on a hot summer day,

book bag slung over your back.Okay.

So what are you looking at
on that computer?

They just pop up!

Forrest, are you busy?Huh? [sighs] Yes.

I'm trying to get this
finished before I start work.

And I glued the mast
to the centerboard,

and I tried to pull them
apart, and the mast got bent,

and then the centerboard got
glued to my arm and...
Okay.

Oh, great.

Now my earbuds are
glued to my fingers.Okay, Forrest.

I don't know. I'm
just... I'm distracted.

I'm trying to watch The Wire.
It's just so complicated.Okay. You know what?

Just, like, don't worry
about that right now

because I've got a new plan.

We're going to Costa Rica.

[chuckles]:
Why?

We need to live.

Time, it's just, um...

It's biting us in the ass

is what it's doing,
and we need to bite it back.

In Costa Rica?Yes!

We're gonna zip-line.

We're gonna feel the wind
through our safety harnesses.

But-but I start
work on Monday.

No, you can't.

We need to live
before it's just too late.

Deels, breathe. Calm.

Centered.

Oh, my God.
[laughs]

It is so annoying
on this end.
Yeah.

Hmm.
Hey, Delia,

the days are flying by
because we're having fun.

So we're getting
old. So what?

There is nobody
on this planet,

nobody that I would
rather grow old with.

Forrest.

You're so sweet.
[chuckling]

Oh, Delia, Delia, your arm is
glued to the hull of the...

It's...What? Oh.

Hmm.

Well...

So, do you want to watch
some of The Wire?

WOMAN:
Shh, shh, shh!

Come on. Hey. Hey.
Hey, man. Hey.

Don't... Just don't...
Stop. Stop it!

WADE: Whoa, whoa,
that-that's a...

That... That's a skunk.

Yes. Yes, it is.

His little foot is injured.

See? And he's caught up
in all that mesh.

And he keeps trying to
run toward the road.

You're gonna get run over, dude.

Uh, can I... can I help?

Yes, thank you.
God, yeah. Thanks.

Um...

I don't know. Distract
him, and I'll...

go around the back?

Oh! Oh, oh, oh.

Okay, coward!

Well, I'm coming back.

[grunting]

[clattering]

Oh. Okay.All right, here we go.
Here we go.

Okay.
Okay, uh,

so, you, uh,
you-you keep him calm.

Okay.
And, uh,

and I'm just gonna
creep up on him.
Yeah.

Right? Yeah,
unthreatening. Right?Sure. Yeah.

Not... We're not gonna
threaten him.

Okay, easy does it, baby.Okay, okay.

Easy. Easy, easy.Uh...

You're all right, just i-ignore
the man with the box.

[skunk chitters][both screaming]

Oh, God!Oh, God!

I'm hit. Oh.Oh, God, it got in my mouth.

It's in my mouth.

[both coughing]

You know it's gonna be bad,
but...I can't breathe!

It's so much worse
than I imagined.It's everywhere!

Right? Yeah, no,
it's everywhere.Oh, God!

What did we expect?
It was a skunk.

Well, I don't know about you,
but I feel like

we got nothing left to lose.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah.Right? Yeah. Okay.

All right. I'm gonna go in.All right. You go in?

Yeah. Oh, God.
Okay.

Oh, God. Oh, God.It's so bad. Okay.

Ah. Ha! Yes! Yes!
Oh, yeah!

Yeah!Yes! We have an injured skunk
under a box.

What do we do now?
We...

go to my vet.
He's, like, ten minutes away.

I can...

I can open the back of my car.

Can you flip this guy?Uh, yeah, I'll try.

Oh, it's-it's so bad.Okay. Um, okay.

Oh!

All right, it's open?

I got it.
Here we go.

And...
[grunting]

Ah! Oh, my God!

You okay?
[exhales]

Are you-you sure you
want him in your car?

I smell way worse than he does,

and I'm gonna get in there,
so...

Okay.

Oh...Uh, hey, that was, uh...

that was really nice teamwork.

[chuckles]:
Thank you. Yeah.

Thanks for being so brave
and-- ugh-- so stupid.

[both chuckle]Yeah.

I, uh...[skunk chitters]

Oh, God, he's spraying again.

I got to go. I got to go.Go, go, go.

Go, go, go. Yes.Sorry. Thank you.

[coughs]

[engine starts]

[horn honks]I got a skunk in
the car, jerk!

[kids laughing]

[dialogue inaudible]

Uh, Natalie, do you guys
have anything better to do?

Nope.

It's so weird.
Well,

it seems weird now,
but before you know it,

you girls are gonna explore
your own sexuality.

No! We're not
talking about this.
No.

No.
We can talk about it.

You're my mom!Stop it!

[overlapping chatter]Hey, everybody.

Oh, God! Oh!God!

Why do you smell like that?It's you.

I can taste it.
It's in my mouth.

Who is that?

I just got sprayed by a skunk.

It's the worst thing
I ever smelled.

MICHELLE:
Wade,

outside, please.All right. Uh, sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Uh...

Oh, God!Okay, all right.
Uh, hey, can I...?

Uh, come here.
Come on, come here.Oof.

Oh, look.

Grace brought Andrew
to the party.

Yeah, great. Back up.

[chuckles]: How did you
get sprayed by a skunk?

Is this one of those
weird country guy things?

Do you eat them?

No. No, no, no, no.
It's-it's a long story.

But, guys, I think
I may have met someone.

I-I can't stop thinking
about her.

Well, who is she?

I have no idea.

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