Original subtitles

Buying scrap metal!

Run!

No more!

Quick!

Let's go back.

Get in, quick.

Fal

Open the door!

Grandpa, open the door!

Open the door! Grandpa, open the door!

Open the door!

Come in quickly!

Any opium?

Firearms?

They're clear!

Master miu, wut-yau cheung and wife from the next village

took 300 sets of firecracker from us

but haven't paid yet.

- What about their daughter? - Right.

Don't you remember?

They paid off their last debt with their daughter.

Seize their shop!

- Your hat! Take this! - Your wife!

Drink!

Fine...

Amazing!

- Hi. - Hi, this way.

Bravo!

Bravo!

"Love in a sweet dream"

"we sing a duet of Harmony"

"now I am drunk in this beautiful love"

"I wish for this love to be everlasting”

"let us know and captivate each other"

"and love for an eternity"

"like a pair of swallows"

"that fly blissfully in the sky"

"what is there to worry or think about"

"love is as sweet as honey and sugar”

Hey.

Come down, all of you.

Go.

Mind your step, master.

Go in. Quick.

Go in already!

W ait.

Master wants an a capella performance today. Stand and wait here.

Too much meat gives you piles.

Then why are you eating?

Quitting meat won't make my piles disappear.

40 buns and 20 bowls of noodles.

What a glutton!

Geez. Why did you ruin it for me?

- Ruin what? - My flirting.

How come I couldn't tell?

Shut up and eat!

Diel

Strip.

Sir, please spare us!

Strip.

Brother cheung!

Hey!

Do you want to take it off quick and painless?

I do.

- Let me help you. - Okay.

Hi priests.

That gentleman there,

is the famous master miu of macheung town.

What brought you over at this hour?

Well,

my master has a playboy little brother,

who fools around too much.

He even contracted leprosy!

We're not physicians.

That doesn't matter anymore. He passed away last night.

We don't want the word to get out.

Leprosy is unlike other diseases.

If the word gets out,

my master's reputation will be ruined.

We want you to

take his corpse with you when you leave town.

We can't do that.

Yes, we can't do that. It's difficult.

Don't say that. I know it's just a piece of cake to you.

Just take him along when you leave.

We can't...

As you know,

we hold an official pass and we've rules to follow.

We can't break the rules for you.

My little brother is right outside. I'll leave him to you.

This is bad. How do we do this?

How would we know if we don't try?

I don't think it's just leprosy.

I agree.

- Is that so? - Right.

Unwrap him and we'll know.

Can I say no?

Can you shut up, then?

Now we've got an extra corpse.

If we get caught at the gate,

we'll turn into real corpses ourselves!

I told you this isn't the right business for us.

What else can you do?

Hey!

A fake one can follow the sound of a bell.

But this one's real, how will it jump?

I have an idea.

When we get to the gate,

we'll position the corpse between yuenbo and chubby.

How come there's another one?

We just accepted another one.

What a coincidence?

Have you ever seen Tibetan ants?

They can kill a man with one bite.

No one can die twice, right?

Go!

Come.

Catch all the ants.

Here.

Let's take a break.

Yuenbo,

don't leave it like that.

What are you doing?

There are ants.

- Lend me a hand. - Okay.

Something doesn't feel right.

Run!

If 1 kill this one, it'll be my 100th.

100th what?

Flies.

It's too dark for us to walk on.

Don't worry. Just remember that

the black parts are mud, the white parts are rocks,

and reflective part is water.

- So don't step on that. - Okay.

What about the yellow part that smells like sulfur?

- How would I know? - Now I know!

Help!

Help!

Give me a rope! Hurry!

Hand us a rope!

You're such a burden!

Shut up and help out.

- Help out! - Give me that!

What's going on?

He wants his ear back.

That's reasonable.

Right.

Let's give it to him.

Ying.

- What? - Come here.

Come here!

For greater good, bear with it.

A little sacrifice, brother.

Come closer.

One?

Two!

Forgive me.

Let's go.

Hey.

This sulfur pond is so deep.

The body's gone for good.

Forget about it. Let's go.

Here are the buns and stuff you asked for.

Thank you.

You came so late today.

Yes. It's been a long day.

Come. Cheers!

Hi.

You pray so much. What are you afraid of?

I don't pray and I'm not even afraid.

Why didn't you go earlier?

You'll get sick from holding it in.

Brother, it's so dark, and I'm alone.

What if something happens?

Go back before someone sees you.

You know what?

I've never seen a woman in a bathtub,

with neat and perfect hair like yours.

I've never seen any deaths like this.

- Where's captain? - Captain?

Let's look for him.

Open the door.

Who's that?

I'm your husband.

What? I'm bathing!

I know.

I want to watch you bathe.

- Why? - Just open the door.

Open the door!

- I want to bathe you. - Go away.

- No. You're so annoying. - Where's my wine?

Hey!

What's the matter?

I'm just teasing you.

That's enough!

We've been married for so long,

I didn't know

you have such hairy legs!

Let me shave your legs for you.

Sure...

Look. It's smooth now, right?

Let's go.

What are you guys doing here?

Big song is dead. Someone even twisted his neck.

I don't think it was done by our rivals.

The opium is still with him.

Let's get back in first.

We need to hide the corpse though.

Ying, I'll leave it to you.

Go.

Hey. We're friends, right?

Hey! Let's go.

My disciple took the zombie to the toilet last night.

I'm sorry we startled you.

Zombies pee too?

They didn't get to pee before they died.

- Do you have a death wish? - Hello. Have a seat.

Don't be so dishonest.

Look. You call this 10 catties of pork?

Come and eat.

Madam, I'll never cheat you.

For some reason,

two of my pigs died last night.

Even my fattest sow went missing.

You know what?

The two pigs that died had their blood sucked dry

and they reek of sulfur.

- Go see. - What?

I said, "go see".

You youngsters have never seen these things before.

Burn them already!

- Evil beings will come. - Okay, granny.

I know what to do. Don't be so superstitious.

Brother, what's going on?

The granny said the pigs were attacked by a vampire last night.

Hey, let's go.

Look over here.

Go see.

Go check!

Look.

Should we leave?

Leave? Why?

What should we do now?

There are only three ways to deal with a vampire.

Talisman, net and a boys' urine.

- Let's go! - Hurry!

Don't be so naughty!

- Come. - Line up.

Come.

You're here again?

- Come. - I'm not drinking it!

- Be a good boy. - No!

- Listen to mom and drink it. - No way!

- Be a good boy. Drink it. - No!

Drink it!

No...

Go faster.

Better than nothing.

Line up.

Come...

Mom, I've got no pee.

Never mind.

Wait, little girl!

We can't have a girl's pee in there!

Go get a snack.

You almost ruined it.

You'll get paid. Hurry!

It's so dark. Why don't we go back?

No way.

If people learn that it got away from us,

we'll lose our undertaker's license,

get searched and arrested.

Let's split into three groups.

Ying and yuenbo,

bookworm and chubby,

doggy and I.

If you discover something,

signal the rest with our secret code.

What's our secret code?

The sound of a toad.

Try and do it.

What does a toad sound like?

Aren't you knowledgeable?

That's right.

Your turn.

Okay.

You?

Whatever.

Let's move.

Me?

Go up.

Ying!

- Remember the secret code. - Alright.

Be careful!

Stay still!

Come here.

Hurry.

Go die!

I saw that thing.

Yes.

Let's go down and check. Let's go.

Hey!

Give me some boys' urine.

Give it to me.

Go.

Where's captain?

- Jump down! - Just jump!

- Don't be afraid! Jump! - Jump!

- Jump! - Just jump!

Hey.

That way.

There's a cave in front!

- What's wrong, master? - Master!

- What happened? - What happened, master?

Master, are you okay?

What happened, master miu?

Hire a priest for me!

Yes, master.

Here. You go first.

Be careful.

Oh, no!

We're out of boys' urine.

Let's make do with virgin men's urine.

What are you looking at?

We're all horny guys. There are no virgin men here.

Don't assume we're all the same.

- So you're not horny? - I'm not!

- You've never slept with a woman? - Never!

What a big find!

This is an emperor's tomb!

Don't go over there!

We'll we run faster if we drink this?

Get rid of them!

Let's get out!

Go, yuenbo.

Go help out, yuenbo!

- Go! - Come help out!

Give it to me.

Hey.

Why don't we just leave?

Nobody knows anyway. Let's go.

There are two paths over there. Let's split up.

Look after him.

Let's go.

Help! Help me!

Help!

Help! Anybody here? Help me!

I'm doomed!

Help!

Help! Please come!

Hold onto me! Don't let go!

Don't let go!

Bookworm!

Help! Anybody here?

Help me...

I'm doomed!

Help me!

Help me! I'm going to die!

Help!

Help!

Help...

Yuenbo!

Help!

Captain! Pull me up!

Help! Hurry!

That thing is down there!

Don't worry!

Help! Hurry! Pull me up!

I'm doomed! Hurry! Pull faster!

Pull faster!

Hurry...

I'm here.

Don't worry!

Give me your hand!

Quick...

Now what should we do?

What a funny question.

You two took the corpse.

Why are you asking me?

He'll come back for revenge.

They're brothers.

Of course he'll come back to my master, right?

Scarecrows, get ready!

The mahogany swords!

Use the mahogany swords!

Release the scarecrows!

- Master! - Are you okay?

His wrath is too strong. You guys are innocent.

Run now...

He's turning back.

Go get the rooster.

Get the rooster!

Rooster, please crow.

He's back. Please help us.

- Brother rooster, please crow. - Crow!

Crow!

- Please crow! - Crow!

Louder! Crow!

Please crow!

Please crow loudly!

Go on.

Crow!

I didn't mean to...

Kill you and your wife.

I didn't mean to drown you to death.

Your... your wife killed herself.

Please... please spare me!

I'll give you everything!

What should we demand for?

You've got some guts.

You killed the couple and tried to make use of us.

What do you guys want?

This is a huge crime.

20 gold bars should be fair.

I'm fine with that.

As for what you just heard...

What did you hear?

What?

Let me see.

Why are you the one carrying them?

Then who's supposed to carry them?

Who's going to pay me if you get into trouble?

This is your share.

I've learned from working with you.

Hey!

What's the problem?

You're the problem!

- Walk faster. Faster... - Okay.

Put it here carefully.

Be careful.

Catch.

The reunion of the lovebirds later

will be so touching and emotional.

You'll have a good view from here.

Let's go.

I shouldn't have worked with you.

That wasn't what you said when you got your share of money.

Hey.

Since we're both going to die,

would you be honest with me?

About what?

Are you really a virgin?

Yes!

Such a shame to die now.

Hang in there! Just a bit more!

Hang in there! Just a bit more!

Hang in there! Just hang in there a bit!

Just a bit more! Not yet...

It's clamping my belly!

Let go!

I'm safe now!

Stop right there!

You traitor!

You know I can't swim! How dare you abandon me!

Come back!

Come back!

Traitor!

The rod isn't long enough! Sorry!

Go die!

- Go out and check. - Yes.

Chi?

Help me!

Chi!

What are you doing, chi?

What happened?

Chi is...

The water...

I hate being called a traitor!

Traitor? I wouldn't come back if I were a traitor!

- Why didn't you die? - Move!

What?

"No man is perfect"

"doesn't that make sense"

"carried far away by the winds"

"serendipity drifts around"

"right and wrong, happiness and sorrow"

"ll cannot help reminiscing”

"hiding from you the pain in my heart"

"I don't want to think of you, and I hate leaving you"

"when can I meet you again in a sea of people”

"ll can't seem to see the day coming"

"I can't forget the time we were together"

Hurry up.

Captain, let's quit

this job once and for all.

Come on.

Give me your hand.

You still want to work? My gold alone is enough for...

My gold alone is enough for half a lifetime.

Of course not.

You gave me rocks?

- I thought you might run away. - Run away?

Bastard! How dare you trick me with rocks!

- Take this! - Let me explain!

- Stop right there! Take this! - You're my underling!

- You know I take you for granted! - Take this!

"I gave you my friendship I gave you my love"

"I gave myself to you"

"don't be cold to me don't cast me aside..."

"Please love me well"

"don't be hesitant"

"I've given you my heart"

"please love me well don't be hesitant"

"this love is yours"

"please love me well don't..."

"Be hesitant"

"this love is yours"

"please love me well don't be hesitant"

"this love is..."

What's the matter?

- Is it too tight? - What? Right

get up. It's time to work.

Where's breakfast?

Food is all you care about.

Take this. We're still jobless.

Gosh. It's so hot.

No wonder my wallet's so empty too.

Priests, please save my daughter.

Exorcism is easy.

- But this will take time. - Yes.

That'll speed things up.

Okay.

You can wait downstairs.

Hey. Hurry up.

Slow down! Wait for me!

Are you just trying to skip school?

Be cooperative.

- Are you ready? - Yes.

Which is the one for exorcism?

Any will do.

Found it.

Holy virgin Mary...

Say your line.

Will save you!

- Jesus Christ... - Will save you!

Lie down!

Save you!

God the father, god the son and god the holy spirit...

Will save you!

Save you!

Bad girl...