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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,367 --> 00:00:04,492 Douglas! 2 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,773 Douglas! 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,625 Douglas! 4 00:00:09,650 --> 00:00:10,804 What? 5 00:00:11,014 --> 00:00:11,953 Come here 6 00:00:12,056 --> 00:00:13,390 I'm busy! 7 00:00:13,884 --> 00:00:14,983 You're dizzy? 8 00:00:17,716 --> 00:00:19,804 I'm busy with a "B." 9 00:00:20,078 --> 00:00:21,140 Dizzy? 10 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,585 Yes, I'm dizzy. 11 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,571 Well, come down here anyway. 12 00:00:27,690 --> 00:00:29,117 Hold on to the rail. 13 00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:33,375 What is it? 14 00:00:33,799 --> 00:00:35,734 I can't get the naked channel. 15 00:00:38,692 --> 00:00:40,900 We don't get the naked channel. 16 00:00:41,011 --> 00:00:43,781 Yes, we do. We were watching it last night. 17 00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:45,671 That was Nightline. 18 00:00:50,915 --> 00:00:54,109 Just tell me what number is the naked channel. 19 00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:56,835 We don't get the naked channel! 20 00:00:57,523 --> 00:00:58,867 Why not? 21 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,445 I don't know! 22 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,151 Doug! 23 00:01:53,176 --> 00:01:54,081 What? 24 00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:56,901 Would you come here? I need help with these boxes. 25 00:01:56,926 --> 00:01:58,620 I'm in the middle of something. 26 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:02,877 CARRIE: Doug! 27 00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:04,879 All right, all right. 28 00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:11,213 Wow, you're making progress in here, huh? 29 00:02:11,238 --> 00:02:13,448 Yeah, I have to. It's my only day to get it done. 30 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:17,127 Okay, all these boxes out here can go in the garage, 31 00:02:17,152 --> 00:02:19,745 and these boxes here you can take down to the dumpster, okay? 32 00:02:24,735 --> 00:02:26,260 Hello? Dumpster. 33 00:02:26,285 --> 00:02:29,065 Wait! I'm not sure I want to get rid of this stuff. 34 00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:32,434 Hey, look at this, one of my videotapes. I want to keep this. 35 00:02:32,691 --> 00:02:35,130 Okay, this is an episode of Quincy. 36 00:02:36,609 --> 00:02:40,106 Uh, excuse me. Two episodes. 37 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,669 Okay, fine. 38 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,831 Just keep it, keep all of it, 39 00:02:45,856 --> 00:02:49,270 just get it out of here, and while you're at it could you toss out those newspapers? 40 00:02:49,427 --> 00:02:50,861 I'm gonna read those. 41 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:57,661 Okay, Doug, All I want is a lousy 3-by-3 space so I could do my work in peace. 42 00:02:57,686 --> 00:02:59,005 Why are you fighting me? 43 00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:01,960 I'm not. I'm fine with your whole home-office thing. 44 00:03:01,985 --> 00:03:03,095 Fine. 45 00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:07,067 Not clear on why we need a bank loan to get it done, though. 46 00:03:07,952 --> 00:03:10,618 Because all our cash is tied up. 47 00:03:10,643 --> 00:03:11,743 Yeah, but still, a loan? 48 00:03:11,768 --> 00:03:13,101 Let me tell you something, Carrie. 49 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,653 I could turn this whole room into a palace for $100 bucks. 50 00:03:15,678 --> 00:03:17,786 Sorry, Doug, it's gonna cost a lot more than $100 bucks. 51 00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:18,877 Uh, how much more? 52 00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:20,649 Try 40 times that. 53 00:03:20,674 --> 00:03:22,807 $40,000? 54 00:03:24,113 --> 00:03:26,481 Oh, wait a second, $4000? 55 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:34,153 Yes, Doug, $4000. I need a computer, a desk, wallpaper, curtains, office supplies... 56 00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:36,223 Office supplies? What, you can't steal those from work? 57 00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:39,195 You know what the problem is? 58 00:03:39,524 --> 00:03:40,923 I'll tell you what the problem is. 59 00:03:40,948 --> 00:03:43,426 It's that copy of House Beautiful that came in our mail by mistake. 60 00:03:43,451 --> 00:03:45,708 You flipped through that, and now you got a bee in your bonnet 61 00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:47,733 about making a fancy office for yourself. 62 00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:51,137 A bee in my bonnet? 63 00:03:51,754 --> 00:03:53,419 Yeah, that's a real thing, right? 64 00:03:54,663 --> 00:03:59,841 Okay, look, Doug, I have been schlepping boxes since 6 a.m. and I haven't had my coffee yet. 65 00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:03,817 So if you keep aggravating me, I'm going to bite you. 66 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,520 Look, all I'm saying is that if you don't... 67 00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:09,597 Arthur, your toast is done. 68 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,731 Don't tell me! 69 00:04:17,297 --> 00:04:18,664 Look, let me remind you, 70 00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:20,809 when I fixed up this garage, you know what it cost me? 71 00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:22,841 Nothing. Not a dime. Bupkiss. 72 00:04:22,866 --> 00:04:26,223 Uh, hi? What about that $2800 big-screen TV? 73 00:04:26,248 --> 00:04:30,005 Uh, hi, Electronics Depot charge card. No payments till November '99. 74 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:31,606 That's next month. 75 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:32,450 Ooh. 76 00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:37,786 Look, Doug, I don't want to argue about this. Just be at the bank at 10:30, 77 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,716 we'll sign the loan papers, and you can get on with your life. 78 00:04:41,999 --> 00:04:44,458 10:30? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! 79 00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:46,184 What is this about 10:30? 80 00:04:46,229 --> 00:04:49,489 You told me you were gonna make the loan appointment during my lunch break? Well, I tried for that, 81 00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:52,301 but she's going on vacation tomorrow. That's all she had. 82 00:04:52,485 --> 00:04:54,252 I told you this last night. 83 00:04:54,324 --> 00:04:55,028 When? 84 00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:59,395 In the bedroom, when you were working out, doing those stupid hand grippy things. 85 00:04:59,769 --> 00:05:01,958 Yeah, well, obviously I didn't hear you. I was in a zone. 86 00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:06,200 Look, there's no way I'm gonna make it at 10:30. I'm running late as it is. 87 00:05:06,512 --> 00:05:09,513 Doug, she's leaving town tomorrow. I need the loan today. 88 00:05:09,538 --> 00:05:13,239 What do you want from me? I can't get away. My days are jam-packed with work. 89 00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:14,981 I saw you roll your eyes right there. 90 00:05:15,063 --> 00:05:16,661 Wasn't trying to hide it. 91 00:05:17,481 --> 00:05:19,044 Nope, can't do it, sorry. 92 00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:23,184 Doug, you're being so passive-aggressive about this. I mean, if this was something you wanted, 93 00:05:23,209 --> 00:05:24,161 you would get off work. 94 00:05:24,186 --> 00:05:26,911 But you just got a bee in your bonnet because I want to use a little money 95 00:05:26,936 --> 00:05:28,145 to make my office look nice. 96 00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:31,434 Okay, first of all, don't use the "bee in the bonnet" thing. 97 00:05:31,695 --> 00:05:32,450 That's mine. 98 00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:38,005 Okay, second of all, I'd be happy to meet you at the bank if it's during my lunch break, okay? 99 00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,263 The rest of my workday, I'm busy. You understand that? 100 00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:44,997 Busy. Not passive, not aggressive, busy. 101 00:05:46,641 --> 00:05:47,794 88... 102 00:05:47,819 --> 00:05:48,989 89... 103 00:05:49,428 --> 00:05:52,195 90 and 91. 104 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:54,083 Oh, yeah! 105 00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:58,426 Uh, sorry, Morales, but there's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Doug Heffernan. 106 00:05:58,803 --> 00:06:01,170 Keep going, my man. Build on it, build on it. 107 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,981 92, 93, 94... 108 00:06:04,006 --> 00:06:05,044 All right. 109 00:06:05,069 --> 00:06:07,069 Ninety f... 110 00:06:08,114 --> 00:06:09,926 Oh. Guess that one didn't land. 111 00:06:10,209 --> 00:06:12,958 At least you're in the record books, my man. Come on, let's hit the road. 112 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:14,786 Come on. 113 00:06:15,389 --> 00:06:16,388 Deac? 114 00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:17,372 What? 115 00:06:17,829 --> 00:06:19,184 Could you please come to me? 116 00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:22,677 What's up? 117 00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:26,747 I'm not sure, but I think I may have shot myself. 118 00:06:26,772 --> 00:06:27,989 Really? 119 00:06:28,694 --> 00:06:29,523 Where? 120 00:06:30,278 --> 00:06:32,950 In a very, very bad place. 121 00:06:34,247 --> 00:06:35,559 Where? 122 00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,400 Right in the twins' playpen. 123 00:06:37,425 --> 00:06:39,292 Oooh! 124 00:06:41,247 --> 00:06:42,484 Ow. Does it hurt? 125 00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:44,528 Actually, no.It's... 126 00:06:46,575 --> 00:06:50,106 it's more of a little sting, you know. Like a... like a rabbit bit me. 127 00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,981 Wait a minute, may... Maybe it's not in there. Maybe it just grazed you. 128 00:06:54,006 --> 00:06:57,622 Yeah, maybe it grazed me, you're right, yeah. Do me a favor, take a look. Oh, no, no. No way, man. 129 00:06:57,647 --> 00:07:00,262 - Come on, would you take a look, please? - I don't wanna look. You look. 130 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,568 I don't bend that far. 131 00:07:02,186 --> 00:07:03,434 All right, all right. 132 00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:07,083 - Just look. Don't touch anything. - Yeah. Good thing you mentioned that. 133 00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:10,575 How you doing? 134 00:07:12,893 --> 00:07:15,229 How about... how about an update there, pal? 135 00:07:16,076 --> 00:07:17,825 Okay, it's definitely in there. 136 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,419 Oh, my God! What should I do? What do I do?! 137 00:07:19,444 --> 00:07:20,643 Just relax, don't panic. 138 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,966 I have to panic, okay? I'm attached to my shorts! 139 00:07:22,991 --> 00:07:25,257 Look, all right, look, we'll take care of it. 140 00:07:25,282 --> 00:07:27,051 Take care of it. Get it out of me, man. 141 00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:28,223 - Get it out of me! - All right. Look, look. 142 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,684 I'll just give your shorts one quick yank and it'll come right out. 143 00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:32,723 - What are you, crazy? - What? 144 00:07:32,748 --> 00:07:36,270 What if the staple didn't go in straight? What if it's like a grabbie? 145 00:07:36,295 --> 00:07:38,796 No, no, I'm pretty sure these go in straight. 146 00:07:38,844 --> 00:07:41,067 Pretty sure? You were gonna pull on a "pretty sure"? 147 00:07:41,092 --> 00:07:43,122 - You said get it out. - Well, find another way! 148 00:07:43,147 --> 00:07:46,755 All rightÙˆLook, I'm gonna take you to the emergency room, then I'll finish your shift, all right? 149 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:49,614 Good. Okay. Hand off me. 150 00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:53,020 - How's that? - Doug, your wife's on line one. 151 00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:54,434 Ooh, God! 152 00:08:02,723 --> 00:08:03,708 Hey. 153 00:08:04,463 --> 00:08:06,301 Hey, how are you doing, sweetie? 154 00:08:06,326 --> 00:08:07,403 Good. Fine. You? Good? 155 00:08:08,418 --> 00:08:11,301 Good. Listen, uh, I was thinking about it, 156 00:08:11,864 --> 00:08:14,958 and, well, uh, I'm sorry about our stupid fight this morning. 157 00:08:14,983 --> 00:08:17,075 Uh-huh, uh-huh. So, see you tonight? 158 00:08:18,006 --> 00:08:21,950 I shouldn't have said what I said, you know, about you not working hard. 159 00:08:22,097 --> 00:08:23,614 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 160 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:30,833 That was just really insensitive of me. I know you work very, very hard, honey. 161 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:32,622 Hard worker. Yah... yeah. 162 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,630 Look, Doug, I am trying to apologize to you. 163 00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,583 The least you could do is say you're sorry. 164 00:08:38,608 --> 00:08:40,161 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 165 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,552 Okay, stop. 166 00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:44,926 The other reason why I called is 167 00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:46,550 I talked to the lady at the bank, 168 00:08:46,575 --> 00:08:49,977 I begged her, and she agreed to me us at your lunch hour. 169 00:08:50,077 --> 00:08:52,144 So, I'll see you at the bank at 1:30, okay? 170 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,426 Any chance you could miss, like, one pothole? 171 00:09:05,872 --> 00:09:07,997 This is the quickest way to the hospital. 172 00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:11,294 So, why didn't you just tell Carrie what happened? 173 00:09:11,421 --> 00:09:15,723 Because we got in a fight this morning, and I made a huge deal about how busy I am at work. 174 00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:18,051 How could I possibly explain this? 175 00:09:18,986 --> 00:09:20,886 Just tell her it happened while you were working. 176 00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:22,210 While I was working? 177 00:09:22,235 --> 00:09:24,098 The staple came in from behind me. 178 00:09:24,251 --> 00:09:25,450 Then tell her I did it. 179 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:26,583 You? 180 00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:30,203 Yeah, you were bending over, and I noticed, 181 00:09:31,223 --> 00:09:33,489 and I came up behind you with a staple gun... 182 00:09:33,514 --> 00:09:35,403 All right, I'm gonna stop you right there. 183 00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:38,731 This sounds worse than what really happened. 184 00:09:39,382 --> 00:09:41,583 Look, there's no reason she has to know anything, all right? 185 00:09:41,608 --> 00:09:45,432 It's still only 11:00. I could get this thing removed and get to the bank by 1:30. 186 00:09:45,457 --> 00:09:47,145 No one has to know the difference. 187 00:09:47,303 --> 00:09:49,637 Won't she eventually look in that area? 188 00:09:49,702 --> 00:09:51,317 Believe me, not if I don't ask. 189 00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:55,184 Uh-oh. 190 00:09:55,772 --> 00:09:56,700 Speed bump. 191 00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,075 Here we go. All filled out. 192 00:10:05,231 --> 00:10:08,262 I will be, uh, right over there when you're ready for me. Okay? 193 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,002 Qaddafi! Ow... 194 00:10:22,717 --> 00:10:24,283 Sir? Hm? 195 00:10:24,479 --> 00:10:27,057 You forgot to write down what you're here for. 196 00:10:27,384 --> 00:10:28,616 Oh, did I? Ha! 197 00:10:28,774 --> 00:10:29,502 Yes. 198 00:10:29,848 --> 00:10:31,916 Forgot to write it down. That's... 199 00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:33,684 that's wild, isn't it? 200 00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:37,643 What are you here for? 201 00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:40,657 Uh... just a second, okay? 202 00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:44,682 Yuspa! 203 00:10:46,615 --> 00:10:48,716 Oh, yeah! Unh! 204 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:52,533 Okay. I, uh... 205 00:10:53,604 --> 00:10:56,572 You know what? Let me just draw you a picture here. This will... 206 00:10:57,963 --> 00:11:00,931 Explain everything. That'll tell the story right there, okay? 207 00:11:05,757 --> 00:11:08,193 Are these what I think they are? 208 00:11:10,596 --> 00:11:13,299 Yes. Yes. Yes. That's the whole area right there. 209 00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:15,563 Of course that's not actual size. 210 00:11:19,377 --> 00:11:21,354 Actually, right now, it probably is, because I'm a little nervous. 211 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:22,912 Is the doctor gonna see me soon? 212 00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:26,380 What's this line? 213 00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:28,088 That's a staple. A staple. 214 00:11:28,113 --> 00:11:30,931 Yeah, a staple. That's one staple right there. A staple. 215 00:11:30,985 --> 00:11:33,080 How's that doctor thing looking? 216 00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:37,259 In a few minutes. I'll just have to see your insurance card. 217 00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:39,430 Oh. 218 00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:41,103 Arthur, it's me Doug. 219 00:11:41,954 --> 00:11:43,275 Your son-in-law. 220 00:11:45,025 --> 00:11:46,783 Douglas? Yes. 221 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,839 Doug is short for Douglas. 222 00:11:50,556 --> 00:11:51,789 Well, now you know. 223 00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:55,299 Listen, I need you to do me a favor. 224 00:11:55,324 --> 00:11:59,573 I need you to get me Carrie's insurance card and bring it to me at Flushing Meadow Hospital. 225 00:11:59,805 --> 00:12:01,304 I'll tell you later. 226 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,032 Just make sure she doesn't find out you're meeting me here. 227 00:12:04,107 --> 00:12:05,139 Okay? Thanks. 228 00:12:07,173 --> 00:12:08,740 I love you too. 229 00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:32,825 Okay... 230 00:12:35,384 --> 00:12:37,149 What's the story? 231 00:12:37,288 --> 00:12:40,852 Story? No story. I was just standing here casually 232 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:42,438 scratching my head. 233 00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:46,321 You were rifling through my purse. 234 00:12:46,442 --> 00:12:49,798 Uh-huh. That's only because I was... 235 00:12:50,698 --> 00:12:52,477 stealing money. 236 00:12:55,893 --> 00:12:57,223 Okay. 237 00:12:57,465 --> 00:12:58,333 Why? 238 00:12:58,397 --> 00:13:00,030 I'm gonna level with you, honey. 239 00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:01,294 I have a gambling problem. 240 00:13:01,319 --> 00:13:05,302 My bookmaker Jimmy Marbles is gonna break my kneecaps if I don't come up with the scratch! 241 00:13:07,511 --> 00:13:11,958 Dad, if you keep saying things like this, how will I know when you're going senile? 242 00:13:13,012 --> 00:13:14,184 Uh-huh. 243 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:18,215 Truth is, I was just looking for a Tic Tac and here we go! 244 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,426 Birth control pills, dad. 245 00:13:24,956 --> 00:13:26,997 Why do you need birth control pills? 246 00:13:27,092 --> 00:13:28,559 Does he touch you?! 247 00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:47,884 Oh, God, Arthur, where you been? 248 00:13:47,909 --> 00:13:50,476 Sorry. I thought you said Flushing Meadow Park. 249 00:13:50,501 --> 00:13:52,611 Then I got caught up in a girls' soccer game. 250 00:13:52,636 --> 00:13:53,603 Here you go. 251 00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,510 Thanks. Aah... 252 00:13:57,831 --> 00:13:58,964 So, uh... 253 00:13:59,052 --> 00:14:00,424 What are you here for? 254 00:14:00,449 --> 00:14:02,666 Uh, nothing. Just, uh... 255 00:14:03,278 --> 00:14:04,577 Nothing. 256 00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:05,869 Come on. What is it? 257 00:14:06,056 --> 00:14:07,922 Eczema? Pinkeye? 258 00:14:09,442 --> 00:14:10,509 No, Arthur. 259 00:14:11,836 --> 00:14:14,038 Having something, uh... "enhanced"? 260 00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:18,518 Again, no. 261 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,799 - Then what? - I just had a little accident at work.I, uh... 262 00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:24,615 shot myself with a staple gun. 263 00:14:24,789 --> 00:14:25,654 Where? 264 00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:27,713 In, uh... 265 00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:29,096 Really? 266 00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,299 Let's have a look. 267 00:14:30,324 --> 00:14:31,439 No, Arthur... 268 00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:34,535 - I don't see it. - Arthur, come on, man, let's go, okay? 269 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,572 Straddle me so I can get a better angle. 270 00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,447 - Get up... - Oh, there it is! 271 00:14:38,472 --> 00:14:40,172 Right in the tool bag! 272 00:14:40,486 --> 00:14:41,307 Whoa! 273 00:14:41,791 --> 00:14:43,916 Would you stop and settle down? 274 00:14:43,941 --> 00:14:46,252 Come on. This is hard enough for me as it is. 275 00:14:46,464 --> 00:14:48,497 I know what you're going through, Douglas. I've... 276 00:14:48,584 --> 00:14:50,083 been down this road myself. 277 00:14:52,573 --> 00:14:53,573 You have? 278 00:14:53,598 --> 00:14:56,252 Sure. Staples, rivets... 279 00:14:56,893 --> 00:14:58,502 knitting needles... 280 00:14:59,442 --> 00:15:01,775 my advice is just leave it in. 281 00:15:03,822 --> 00:15:06,549 Leave it in? I'm attached to my IPS shorts. 282 00:15:06,574 --> 00:15:09,175 Not a problem. Just make sure you don't lose your job. 283 00:15:11,396 --> 00:15:13,611 Yeah. Uh, insurance card. 284 00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:14,978 How much longer? 285 00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:17,010 Uh, the doctor is just finishing up. You're next. 286 00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:18,127 Oh, great. 287 00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:20,658 If you just follow me to the examining area... 288 00:15:20,683 --> 00:15:21,848 Bus crash! 289 00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:24,846 Ten critical, three serious! Triage setup outside! 290 00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:28,373 Uh... this is a first-come first-served dealie, right? 291 00:15:31,179 --> 00:15:33,518 Arthur, look, do me a favor. Hold my place in line, would you? 292 00:15:33,937 --> 00:15:37,072 Oww... aah, baby steps... baby steps... 293 00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:50,393 - Hey. - Hey! There you are. Yeah. 294 00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:52,494 Hey, how you doing there? Good to see you. 295 00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:54,392 What's that about? 296 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:55,330 Hmm? 297 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,518 What, no hug? 298 00:15:56,978 --> 00:15:58,689 Honey, we are in a bank. It's... 299 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:02,541 unless we're trying to borrow money for a porno film, I think we ought to pull in the reins a little, huh? 300 00:16:04,205 --> 00:16:05,822 Okay, what's going on? 301 00:16:05,847 --> 00:16:06,666 What do you mean? 302 00:16:06,691 --> 00:16:09,329 Well, you're acting weird again, just like you were on the phone. 303 00:16:09,354 --> 00:16:12,088 If you're still mad at me, why don't you just say so? 304 00:16:14,658 --> 00:16:16,283 I am not mad. 305 00:16:16,838 --> 00:16:18,643 You are so. I can tell. 306 00:16:18,668 --> 00:16:21,721 I am not! Let's just sign the stupid papers and get out of here, okay? 307 00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:26,069 "Stupid papers." Okay, fine. Whatever. 308 00:16:26,478 --> 00:16:28,150 Mr. And Mrs. Hefferman? 309 00:16:28,244 --> 00:16:29,677 Actually, it's Heffer-nin. 310 00:16:29,742 --> 00:16:33,744 Oh. Well, I'm sorry. Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Heffer-nin. 311 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:39,166 Well, you don't actually have to punch the "nin." I was just saying that for your benefit. 312 00:16:39,838 --> 00:16:41,228 Please come in. 313 00:16:41,963 --> 00:16:45,689 Honey, look at you. You're a mess. Would you fix your collar? 314 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:48,047 And pull up your pants. 315 00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:57,408 Now, there are three different payment options, 316 00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:01,826 each with its own distinct advantages and disadvantages. 317 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,943 Would you like me to review them for you? 318 00:17:03,968 --> 00:17:06,235 No. Whichever one you like is fine. 319 00:17:06,849 --> 00:17:09,545 Uh, honey, I would like to hear them. 320 00:17:10,349 --> 00:17:11,740 Fine. 321 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:13,574 Well, option one 322 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,380 is just your straightforward fixed monthly payment. 323 00:17:16,405 --> 00:17:18,305 It's not one of your more exciting choices, 324 00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:21,788 but at least you know what you're getting hit with at the end of the month. 325 00:17:21,894 --> 00:17:26,396 Now, option two is called the floating payment plan. 326 00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:32,503 In this plan, your payments vary based upon fluctuations in the prime rate of interest. 327 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,599 Some months, your payments will be lower, 328 00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:38,341 other months, you'll have a sharp metal object in your testicles. 329 00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:42,724 Now, for example, if in January, 330 00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:46,050 the prime rate goes to, say, 8%, 331 00:17:46,075 --> 00:17:53,156 what you'll end up with is a common office supply violating the very essence of your manhood. 332 00:17:53,727 --> 00:17:56,545 And those are your three basic options. 333 00:17:56,737 --> 00:17:57,803 Any questions? 334 00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:00,491 Excuse me just a moment. 335 00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,912 Ahem! Rhonda Phillips. 336 00:18:04,948 --> 00:18:07,393 So, honey, which option do you think we should go with? 337 00:18:07,418 --> 00:18:09,193 Whichever one is the quickest. 338 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:12,255 For God's sake, can you just give me your opinion? 339 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,521 I can't believe what a baby you're being about this! 340 00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:17,505 And why are you sweating so much? 341 00:18:19,818 --> 00:18:22,037 Look, there's something I... should probably tell you. 342 00:18:22,271 --> 00:18:23,420 What? 343 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:24,801 Come here. 344 00:18:31,948 --> 00:18:34,376 You stapled yourself in the mall? 345 00:18:49,846 --> 00:18:50,880 Really? 346 00:18:54,211 --> 00:18:55,564 - Can I look? - Yeah. 347 00:18:58,092 --> 00:18:59,092 Okay. 348 00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:03,205 Whoa! 349 00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,215 What happened? 350 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,412 We were fooling around at work. I was shooting staples into a tin can. 351 00:19:10,898 --> 00:19:13,298 And then I caught my undercarriage. 352 00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:19,059 Well, what are you doing here? We should be at the hospital. Let's go. 353 00:19:19,084 --> 00:19:25,160 No. Look, this morning I was being really stupid. And selfish and... I'm really sorry. All right? 354 00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:27,763 I want you to have your office, just the way you want it. 355 00:19:27,982 --> 00:19:31,334 I want it too, but I also want to have kids. Now come on. 356 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:36,591 No. Look, we're already here, I can get through this. All right? I want to do this for you, Carrie. 357 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,310 Let's just make it quick. 358 00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:44,959 Anyway, I'm sorry about that. But back to business. 359 00:19:45,052 --> 00:19:46,181 You folks decided? 360 00:19:46,482 --> 00:19:49,121 Yeah. We're gonna go with the third one. The balloon payment one. 361 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,396 - The balloon one, yeah. - Okay. You're sure? 362 00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:52,888 Yeah. We're sure. We like balloons. 363 00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:54,046 Pretty. 364 00:19:55,693 --> 00:19:57,716 Okay, fair enough. 365 00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:01,716 Option... three... 366 00:20:02,638 --> 00:20:05,917 balloon... pay... 367 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,010 Please... use mine. 368 00:20:18,126 --> 00:20:19,159 Thank you. 369 00:20:20,589 --> 00:20:21,807 Payment. 370 00:20:22,198 --> 00:20:27,214 Okay, let me just get these forms here together for you. 371 00:20:27,737 --> 00:20:30,893 All right, here we have your k-19. 372 00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:36,862 And we have your disclosure. 373 00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:40,870 Your tax status report. 374 00:20:42,753 --> 00:20:44,073 Rate schedule. 375 00:20:44,455 --> 00:20:46,784 For God's sake, get a paperclip. 376 00:20:56,057 --> 00:20:59,167 Baltimore 1957 Rand L Metal Works 377 00:20:59,539 --> 00:21:00,370 Spooner! 378 00:21:00,395 --> 00:21:01,176 Yeah? 379 00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:03,893 Don't carry that rivet gun in your pocket 380 00:21:03,918 --> 00:21:05,818 Don't tell me 381 00:21:06,901 --> 00:21:08,690 Ohhh! 382 00:21:09,365 --> 00:21:11,385 A little help over her 28582

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