Original subtitles

You guys believe yourselves to be one

international airport short of a world-class city.

[laughter]

Ah!

I was riding my bike and I hit a bear.

Are you serious?

Would you like to see my vagina?

[laughs]

And that's when things got weird.

When you grow up in a small town in Newfoundland

you see the people have a sense of humour

about hard times.

Check Check

I turned that into a career and hit the road.

MC: Mr. Jonny Harris!

Now I'm on a mission to find the funny in the

places you'd least expect:

Canada's struggling small towns.

Towns that are against the ropes but hanging in there.

Still laughing in the face of adversity.

Welcome to: Wawa Wawa Wawa Wawa

Look up, way up into Northern Ontario,

there's a little town called Wawa.

It's the last stop between where you left and

everywhere you want to be.

I was driving up here, the sun was starting to go

down, my fuel gauge was starting to go down.

My knuckles were going white on the wheel,

[laughter]

I had just seen a bear that I swear to God smiled at me.

[laughter]

I was fearing for my life when finally I saw it

like a vision, like an angel with outstretched wings.

Big feathery iron wings.

[applause]

I saw the goose.

I knew I had made it, I was in Wawa.

You know you're from Wawa when you call

yourself a honker.

Honk.

I cannot do a goose impression!

Honk!

Honk.

Honk Honk Honk!

So many people get photographed with the goose.

I can only imagine if it was low enough that

people could pretend they were humping it.

People taking selfies trying to hump the goose.

#duckfacegoosehump

[laughter]

This goose has a little

bit of wear showing.

Got to talk to Brenda Grundt here.

Yes she was explaining the plight of the goose.

The thought is that maybe she'll lose her wings and

we need to replace her but that's a lot of money.

How much is it going to cost?

Half a mil.

Half a million dollars?

500,000 dollars?

I'll get up there with some Bondo and a spray paint

can for 350,000, save you a few bucks right there.

[laughter]

I can be seen sometimes at 3 o'clock in the

morning covering something happening some place.

Brenda owns and operates Wawa's number one

24-hour news team.

So if something happens in the middle of

the night surely you don't your police scanner on

next to the bed all night or anything?

Uh most times I do!

Oh really.

That's commitment!

Keep in mind it is Wawa's only 24-hour news

team and the team is Brenda.

And her husband Marcus he knows that Brenda is

always driving around with the police scanner on

I hear far more than I want to ever hear.

It's Days of our Lives you know it's a soap opera.

Oh really?

So if he can't get in touch with her on

the cell phone, he'll call the cops.

Right?

He'll say officer I want to report a

Brenda pick up eggs.

[laughter]

Massive closures in mining and forestry over the last

few decades made for a long stretch of bleak

headlines for Brenda.

But this is a story of our times.

It's hard.

The decline started in 96' when the iron mine closed.

That course caused peripheral business to close.

The Big bird...

So the restaurant closes.

You lose your cook staff, you lose your wait staff.

Now the ripple effect is that your suppliers are gone.

Now you have your kids that used to come back

from college and work in the summer time,

working in the bars good tips.

Now they work out of town forever.

Do they come back?

The Big Bird was like Wawa an essential stop

in a longer journey.

It was quite the rocking place in its time.

People leave the Lakeview they're just

passing the United Church and they think oh god

I'm sobering up, I'm sobering up, the Big Bird,

it's open, thank god!

I'll have 8 slippery nipples please bartender,

thank you.

Where else could you live and come down at

11 o'clock at night and see the northern lights

dancing over the hill in your pajamas?!

It's a great place to be unless you're a hitchhiker.

Tits up on the streets of Wawa.

I've heard that expression before tits up in Wawa.

But of course it's difficult to hitchhike out

of Wawa because people know if you pick somebody

up at Wawa, you know you're stuck with them

for about five hours.

Three hours from the Sioux and six hours

to Thunder Bay.

What if he's crazy?

What if you pick someone up 20 minutes in he's

telling you about how he hates cops and hears voices?

You're doing the math ok Thunder Bay another

460 kilometers oh god, oh god!

[laughter]

I couldn't have picked a better time to be here

it's a very exciting time in Wawa.

Is there any Michipicoten high school grads here?

And hats off to principal Peter Kusic.

This is a very important graduation.

As we know every group is different and special.

This year is both.

It's my son Dusan's graduating year.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal.

It is the courage to continue that counts.

It should be a celebration for the kids

you know you're sending them out into the world.

There was a sense of belonging when you entered

MHS four years ago.

There will also be a force that will draw you

back into these halls.

You're saying kids we've prepared you as much as we

can, now you have to go.

Grads we will miss you.

[chokes up] Sorry about that.

You have to go down to the highway and start

hitchhiking before you classmates come down.

Cause it's hard to get a ride, it's really

difficult to get a ride out here.

So you and the Mrs. were both teaching in Toronto.

Yes.

What brought you back to Wawa?

I'd lost my father a couple years earlier.

So I thought boy there's more to life than rat race

of you know driving everywhere in Toronto and

I wanted my kids to grow up in Wawa.

And Dusan if you're going to study mining then

I guess that would allow you to come back.

Yeah that's the main reason I picked it is

because I wanted to come back to the north.

Wawa's so small you don't see much.

I'm excited to see what else is in the world.

Dusan are you going to miss it?

oh ya I'm definitely gonna miss it.

What did you do to get rid of the beavers?

Shotgun, rifle, traps, dynamite.

Dynamite?

Now a lot of my friends in Toronto don't

even know where Wawa is although Torontonians are

not always great with geography.

I was trying to explain to one of my buddies where

Wawa is and he actually said to me who the hell

is Sault Ste. Marie?

[laughter]

I went to visit Anita at Young's general store.

[applause]

The sort of design and feel of the whole place

is sort of like an old trading post.

Now do you accept pelts as currency?

I think Anita knows that people who come

to her store have just driven through a huge

amount of nothingness and are about to drive through

another good chunk of nothingness.

So of course when they're at her store,

they're looking around, oh god what could

we possibly need?

What are the big sellers?

Moccasins.

Moccasins, yes!

I won't have another chance to get moccasins

till I get to Thunder Bay!

Kids, pick out moccasins!

And I love that good old rural rebranding right?

I might not be in the mood for some chocolate covered

raisins but a little bag of beaver droppings?

Yes please!

[laughter]

Well we found this about a year ago and didn't buy it.

So how many hundreds of kilometers did you

come to find this t-shirt?

WoDon't know, Indiana.

Indiana.

From Indiana?

It's all fun and games until somebody loses a wiener.

That's pretty good.

Where are you guys from?

Ohio.

I love moose so I'll have to try their droppings.

No wonder Americans have that zany stereotype

about Canadians.

You know what I'm talking about right?

Moose, maple syrup and wilderness.

I don't blame Americans anymore I blame Wawa!

[laughter]

What I've seen is Anita's helped package her

way into tourist's hearts and has helped turn Wawa

from a pee break into a memory.

Also out front there is a transgendered moose.

[laughter]

People have called it Henrietta.

A he/she I guess.

A transgendered moose!?

Yes That's brilliant!

When you determine the gender of a moose there's

a little giveaway right on top of his head.

Henry doesn't really have any?

No -Ah...

Also at the back there are some subtle differences.

[laughter]

One of the best stories I've heard in Wawa

is when Henrietta was confiscated.

The Ministry of Natural Resources heard that it

was poached or something.

The banks, the stores, everywhere,

posted this in their windows.

Is that right?

It was pretty special.

A campaign to get Henrietta back. -Exactly

It got national wide media attention.

It was brought up in parliament!

I couldn't have paid for advertising like that.

And finally one day the moose was returned.

They found out it was a transgendered moose and

didn't want to be on the hook for a hate crime.

For those who have managed to carve out their

place here in Wawa there's no shortage of

reasons to stay here.

You know since I got here I've seen all

these wooden carvings all over town.

I wanted to find out more about it.

Now at first I was nervous 'cause when someone tells

you you have to go to a motel to meet

a third degree black belt named Spike...

[laughter]

Come on in.

Come on through my closet here.

But Spike couldn't be a nicer guy.

What do you call these creations?

Gitchee Goomee's. -Gitchee Goomees?

Gitchee Goomee means all-powerful water.

It's an ojibwe term.

Ya?

Spike when he was a younger man moved away for

a little while and moved back so that he could

be closer to the lake.

The lake was talking to me.

Directing me.

Kinda thing?

This one is a bit more menacing over here,

this skull.

That's the lake kind of screaming at me really.

Spike told me that Lake superior speaks to him.

Now at first I wasn't sure what he was talking

about I thought he does live in the motel,

maybe it's the guy in the next room.

[laughter]

I said Spike does the lake ever sound like Law and Order?

Spike made us this chaga tea.

Is it going to make me feel good?

Yeah [slurps his tea] -There I am sitting

drinking tea made out of mushrooms with a third

degree black belt who carves lake spirits and

that's when things got a little weird.

[laughter]

Spike asked me- Would you like to see my vagina?

At first I thought ok Wawa this transgender

thing has gone too far.

It's gone too far.

It's from like a chunk of a tree, it's massive

and it's a- it's a vagina.

It's a big- I sorted wilted at the sight

of this thing.

It's where we all started.

Where we all began our journey here right?

Hundreds of years from now, future civilizations

will come back and they will see Spike's carvings

and they will think how?

How much hash oil did they have in Wawa?

[laughter]

There's a lot of great history

about the town of Wawa.

It was founded on fur trading.

In fact the Hudson Bay company had their

headquarters here from 1827 up until 1987.

How many places can say that their business was

open from before Canada was even a country up

until the dawn of hair metal?

[laughter]

Ah!! George please don't chop me up and feed

me to the beavers.

Beaver doesn't eat people.

I also got to go down by the river and hang out

with George Karasek.

What did you do to get rid of the beavers?

Shotgun, rifle, traps, dynamite.

Dynamite?

George used to work for the railway, blowing

up beaver dams with dynamite, didn't we all?

Beaver can put the railroad out of the

business overnight and nothing will stop it.

I used to carry detonators around my neck.

Yeah they told me I was like Rambo.

It would look pretty badass.

It does.

But George was so good at it he earned the

nickname beaver man.

Now guys I know we all like to think of ourselves

as beaver men but George is the real deal.

Oh! Bingo.

But it's tough times now for George and lots of

other trappers like him because the railway now,

the government won't subsidize the railway so

they're no longer taking passenger cars up north.

So how will people get to their cabins?

They cannot.

So what they'll just have to abandon them?

They have to so that will be end of my trapping.

It's the end to a 400 year tradition.

They simply can't get there anymore.

I'm 72.

I was not ready to feed pigeons in a park yet.

You know I thought I still could trap a couple more years.

And not only that the government has told him

that he has to burn his camp to the ground.

What a [beep] move!

I may have a heart attack when I see my camp burning.

And that's true.

I'm pissed off about it.

Now if I'm pissed off that's no big deal

but George is a dynamite expert.

Don't piss him off I think.

I've put together a little beaver dam and

the only explosives I can legally purchase.

George I say you go out with a bang.

Take the last train up there with a bag of dynamite...

I was hoping it would be a bit more.

I was hoping

the sticks would all.

...and blow that camp sky high

I think it's cute.

Aww cute!

And if anybody at the railway complains tell

them you saw a beaver in there and they

can expect an invoice.

Half a million dollars or a new goose.

Let's go vikings let's go!

The Michipicoten high 60th reunion was in full

swing and past grads from far and wide had

rejoined the flock.

Everyone was feeling rah rah for Wawa.

I left Wawa for love.

And I'm sorry that the mine is closed and that

there's a little bit of hardship for these people here.

We all married hitchhikers.

We all married hitchhikers.

I got to have a chat with Sherry Coulter,

lovely lady.

She was back for the reunion.

She painted a great picture of Wawa in the 70s.

A lot of fun.

There was a lot of trans ams, camaros around a lot!

I bet.

Classic.

I love it.

A course that she did that I think is pretty

much exclusively unique to Wawa, outdoor survival.

You basically had to like survive outside,

in the elements over night.

That's wicked.

Hey how did you do in outdoor survival last semester?

Well I'm here talking to you aren't I?

Yeah you hear about Billy Tomkins?

He got an F, god rest his soul.

But by far the greatest story that Sherry

had to tell me was one night she was riding

her ten speed home.

It was a spectacular night.

So I'm looking up at the sky,

enjoying the show and the next thing you know,

boom right over my handlebars.

Went arse over kettle down the street.

Like twisted around and there's the headlamp

pointing back at these two beady little eyes.

I hit a baby bear.

Are you serious?

She wasn't hurt too bad which is good,

neither was the bear.

I had road rash a little bit.

I got on my bike so fast.

In fact Sherry said the most awkward thing

about the whole ordeal was exchanging insurance.

[laughter]

She went up to the bear and said

I'm with Mutual of Omaha so.

The bear said arrrrr.

[laughter]

In my heart this place will always be home.

It's where I came of age and never forget the raw

beauty of the country and obviously the people,

they're the heart of this place.

You know you're from Wawa when you can dive into

lake superior and drink the water.

You stop on the road when you see a friend

and just talk to them.

I went over to the

school and had a chat with Nathan Halloran everybody.

What a great kid.

Nathan really impressed upon me how you guys

really encouraged his playing.

He says the town was very supportive.

I'm always getting praise from everyone.

'Oh I saw your performance the other day it was fantastic'.

It's really uplifting.

The last few years I was always just a little

depressed and I didn't really have a way of

dealing with it at all.

Once I started getting more into piano I would

learn a song for fun and that would immediately

make me feel better.

He's leaving you guys for a little while now,

he's going to go away to university to study music

and who knows Nathan by the time you get

back there might be a spot opening up in

the Wawa philharmonic.

[laughter]

Living in a small town you really connect with things.

You're able to focus more on the beauty of the world

instead of just everything being so go go go go.

It's not often you look to a high schooler for wisdom

but he sort of articulated a notion that I had about

people from Wawa that I was having trouble

putting my finger on.

It's just that Wawa joy we have.

Wawa joy?

Ya it seems like everyone has that.

Yeah -Yeah.

Sometimes it's really creepy how happy

we are all the time.

I love Wawa and I think it's really up there

with one of the greats.

And I thought yeah that's it.

One of the stores down at Anita's store it says

New York, Paris, London and Wawa.

I think it's more of a joke,

it's sort of an attitude right?

You guys put yourself in that class.

I think you guys believe yourselves to be one

international airport short of a world-class city.

[laughter]

You guys fought for your transgendered moose.

You're fighting for your rusty goose.

You guys feed and shelter stray hitchhikers.

You could throw up your hands and give up on Wawa

but wa-why would you ever wa-want to?

[applause]

You know just before I came over to the Polish

hall this evening my mom gave me a ring at the hotel.

She said you know how's it going in Wawa?

I said oh you know mom.

I learned a lesson with the beaver man,

got my gitchee goomeed, went to see the goose and

kissed a transgendered moose.

She said Jonathan what are you talking about?

I said mom I'm talking about Wawa, Ontario.

Thanks so much everybody.

I come here every summer.

Wawa is the place to be guys!

It's a love letter to my hometown

it's beautiful you know.

Dynamite was my history but nobody knew about

it but now everybody will know about it.

And in that short time to write up what he did about

the town and some of us in it you know just fantastic.

Is he going to come back and do another show?

I can't wait to see a recap.

I think everyone should come visit at least once.

Oh yeah or more definitely more.