Original subtitles

It's like death came knocking on Berwick's door

but everybody was too busy with weird stuff to answer

[laughter]

That's his penis

He's a really good young weiner

That thing is lethal.

Once you go alpaca you never go backa

When you grow up in small town in Newfoundland;

you see the people have a sense of

humour about hard times. Check Check

I turned that into a career and hit the road.

Mr. Jonny Harris!

Now I'm on a mission; to find the funny in places

you'd least expect it, Canada's struggling small towns.

Towns that are against the ropes but hanging in there.

Still laughing in the face of adversity.

The welcoming committee for Berwick, Nova Scotia.

Phew!

Here we are in Berwick, Nova Scotia,

the apple capital of Canada.

[applause]

The only town left where the apple store

sells actual apples.

[laughter]

You know the apple really is a symbol from whence

the town came.

They're on every street sign, we have beautiful

new bike racks all throughout the town.

Well you got one right there on your shirt.

I wear apple jewelry every day.

Yeah got to meet a lot of great people while

I've been here.

Julie Glasser and Carol Boylon.

[applause]

Before the second world war it was discovered they

could actually grow apples of a variety that had a

long storage because of the quality of the soil.

This really was the centre of fruit production.

That must have been a hotly debated topic at

town hall here, what kind of apple is going to go up here.

Well I'm not driving past a spartan every day

especially when a macintosh has got

a sweeter juice and a tastier pulp.

A tastier pulp are you kidding?

I'll take an empire's pulp over a mac any day!

Listen the portland has the crispiest-

Order, order, order!

[laughter]

Is the apple business still a viable one now?

Not so much.

Times have certainly changed.

Berwick really blossomed until the war when

Britain, its main customer,

banned fruit imports.

Since then one local industry after another

began falling by the way side.

This town it's got something that other

places don't, when times are tough here,

people stay and they make it work.

Julie Glasser told me she was driving through

Berwick and she just had a feeling in her gut that

she would end up living here one day and I can

relate to that cause I got a feeling in my gut that

I'm going to get drunk in Berwick tonight.

[laughter]

I'll never leave Berwick, I love it.

This is where I'm going to be forever.

It means everything to me.

Carol's love for Berwick holy crapple.

We got a bag of apples here for you, every man in

Berwick eats 20 pounds of apples a week.

You can do it come on.

I will eat all of these apples then I will

probably vomit but I will eat them.

I got a first good look at the town with Rod Reeves here.

Former radio announcer that's been in the car

business for about 12 years now.

I was like god man this town is really in trouble,

the car salesman doesn't have a car.

[laughter]

My dad worked at the Larsis plant for 35 years.

It closed down.

There are stories of loss in this town for sure.

A bunch of local farmers started this chicken

processing plant back up.

Reinvented it and now it's another vibrant business.

But it turns out local entrepreneurship is giving

Berwick a happy ending.

The driftwood restaurant was actually our town's

old fire department.

What used to be the former police station

is now a coffee shop.

Is now a coffee shop?

Although the biggest difference?

More cops there now.

[laughter]

This town over the years has been knocked on its

knees many many times and keeps bouncing back.

We're all very proud of that.

A lot of like businesses spaces, buildings don't go

empty for very long when usually when someone moves out,

somebody else puts a business in there and

they're up and going again.

And often that somebody is named Harley.

Here is Bargain Harley's. -Okay

Two people you need to talk to are

George and Harley Moody.

Harley is kind of like the godfather of this town.

Now I'm anxious about meeting him.

Bargain Harley's is one of a number of thriving

new businesses the brothers have built in a

shell of a dead one.

It's just utter randomness,

it's like the internet threw up in here.

It was actually George who took me around the store.

I was very impressed by Bargain Harley's;

where else can you go to buy a motivational posters,

cutlery and a horse thermometer?

We got hunting knives Jonny in case you

want to go hunting.

Hunting knives right next to the last supper.

I'm just scratching my head saying George where

the hell does Harley get all this stuff?

You know why would Harley buy bowling balls when

we don't have a bowling alley in Berwick?

That's ballsy, that's ballsy.

Is your brother a dangerous man?

Well he's a good shot.

He's a good shot, okay.

Alright was excited if not a little nervous to

meet the Godfather behind all this reinvention.

Mr. Moody?

You must be Jonny, come in.

If you haven't seen the inside of Harley's office,

first of all congratulations you are

not a dead animal.

[laughter]

-And you hunt in Newfoundland a lot? -Yes

You're not getting the urge to shoot

something from Newfoundland right now are you?

No no -Okay you and George have the grocery store,

Bargain Harley's, a golf course,

a plaque factory I'm assuming.

The guy's an achiever you got to give him that.

Yes one of his plaques said most likely to

receive a plaque.

[laughter]

It doesn't look good to have empty buildings in the town.

Right -And I like a challenge.

I found this small Nova Scotia town in the midst

of a reinvention after a 150 years of being

defined by one thing.

Like my 20 pound bag I wonder if carrying on with

these apples was a gift or a weight to bear?

He's more of a banana man.

Too far.

But I was about to find out in this town,

if you don't stay crisp, your apples could get sauced.

Did she get you?

I was told that maybe with Berwick the shine

had come off of it.

You know it was a town built upon an apple

industry that really is no more.

But what I've been most impressed by by Berwick is

this sort of overwhelming sense of optimism.

I did have a chance to chat with the actual apple

blossom princess.

Before I went in I dabbed on a little bit of

apple cider vinegar.

I think at the end of the day I just smelled

like piss but- um...

Am I the first man to bring you apples?

Sorry.

So much for that.

I didn't know if when I went if I was supposed

to bow or curtsy.

Oh handshake is fine.

A handshake's alright?

Oh very informal okay.

I've got a couple of questions about just what

it means to be the apple blossom princess:

Have you ever been kidnapped and held in a tower?

Well that's more rapunzel isn't it?

Oh is it yeah.

Have you ever had any trouble with witches, ie,

has any witch ever given you a poison apple.

No but are those?

no no these are tasty berwick apples,

they will not make you fall asleep forever.

OK. Good.

I've never met a princess.

I live in downtown Toronto I've met a couple of Queens.

Where do you see yourself in a few years?

I'd like to be a teacher in Berwick but there's not

a lot of kids here so there's not a lot

of job opportunities.

Ya that would be too bad.

Ok I'm running out of princess questions.

Are you eligible to marry Prince Harry now?

Yes anytime.

And you like the sound of that?

But she's a great gal she's got a level head on

her shoulders, I think Berwick you have chosen well.

I'm going to do this as I leave just to make sure

I'm being mannerly.

I would go crazy if I had that kind of power at that age.

Here comes Jonny appleseed!

Spreading his seed across the Annapolis Valley.

[laughter]

Actually maybe that's not a good- that's not -

a that's not a good idea.

Okay let me regroup let me regroup.

[applause]

All I have found since I got here is

people who are diving into brand new,

interesting, exciting things and making them work.

Like Peter Woodyer.

He has an alpaca farm.

But Peter invited me over to see the alpacas.

I said give me ten minutes I'll pack a bag.

Look at these magnificent creatures,

These are alpacas.

The best I can surmise is that an alpaca

is a product of a sheep and a camel.

Personally I could see why a lady sheep might

fall for a camel.

He's nice and tall, he doesn't drink much and

he's good for a hump or two.

[laughter]

I am a veterinarian.

I retired and I had a need to keep animals.

I couldn't decide what to keep.

I thought about deer. -Right.

But they know exactly where the tips of

those spikes are and I'm too young to die.

Oh yes they're like ninjas with those.

That's right.

Then I thought ostrich.

No I'm too beautiful to die.

You don't approach an Ostrich without a mattress

in front of you.

This is a good education.

I had no idea.

Somebody mentioned the word alpaca and investment

in the same sentence so the penny drop.

Why not?

Well that's what most hard working middle class

Canadians do for their retirement is take out a

second mortgage on the house and drop

tens of thousands of dollars on alpacas.

Just herd them.

No too far, too far, more over.

A prized alapaca can be worth 200,000 dollars,

can you believe it?

200,000 dollars it should give you sound legal advice.

This one's looking at me like I'm an idiot.

Come on girls.

We all know once you go alpaca, you never go backa.

We have one girl, she's nuts.

She's nuts?

Like cuckoo?

They will stand back, they will regurgitate,

get a mouthful... Did she get you?

It got me well almost, got me right in the alpacas.

[laughter]

This area around Berwick is as nice as any

and better than most.

The land is good, the soil is good and

it's working out nicely.

We're just keeping our fingers crossed.

They're like RRSP's but hairier.

But Peter's opened my eyes to this sort of

theme of reinvention and renewal that's going

on in Berwick you know.

There's got to be something in the apples here.

Now I've noticed the domino effect of loss in

small towns but in Berwick it's a domino effect of ideas.

Rachel Argo moved to Canada from Scotland.

Rachel thought the best place to raise fancy

Spanish horses would be Berwick.

You may as well go big.

And she also has a Vietnamese pot

belly pig named Frodo.

Come here, Frodo.

You know what's weirder than that?

She said she moved here for the warmer weather

and it works.

Jonny started the cookhouse.

We spell our names the same way.

No H in Newfoundland

Oh right if you're heating and happle then

you've got too many h's.

He's putting the dash of Newfoundland in his food.

Order.

Eeeek.

I left even more with my finger tips.

Margie Lamb started the meat market.

We named it after my husband, he's a really

good young weiner.

Apparently the meat market started as a pig roast

right 25 years ago.

My weiner is sagging.

That's life.

As long as the buns don't sag with it, you're okay.

It all seems to work.

It's like death came knocking on Berwick's door

but everybody was too busy with weird stuff to answer.

[laughter]

Even academics long drawn to retire in this

beautiful region seem to be learning from Berwick

itself that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

These are all English Springer Spaniels.

I went out with the sporting spaniels,

Paul and Cindy and Andre and Robin and Diane.

We planted our farm in different kinds of

grasses to hold the birds.

Oh is that right?

We've got a physics professor, an acoustics

professor, a computer science professor and

a business professor.

Is it harder to teach spaniels or university students?

They said the dogs are easily distracted but

they smoke much less weed.

Now this is?

This is saucy wench.

Saucy wench.

Yes for a woman of easy virtue.

Easy virtue.

It just barely beat out drunk tease.

Second runner up, hammered skank.

[laughter]

Saucy though she may be, I was suffering some

performance anxiety.

You have to realize that that thing is lethal.

This is lethal.

Oh good okay.

Everybody tuck back.

I'm new at this racket.

And three, two, one

Holy smokes, how was that?

It was passable.

This is what the day culminates with.

You bet.

It's quiet and peaceful and we can have woods

at our doorstep.

I can go out in nature where I have to be.

Another ex-prof in the area has a plan

to help small towns.

Colin Bell wants to make farms tourist destinations.

Well I'll be his guinea pig.

There's a big challenge in Nova Scotia with the rural economy,

it's not doing too well and small farms are

a big part of that.

So unless people find a way to you know make small

farms profitable, they're going to go the way of

the dodo and they're going to die out.

Well why don't we jump in and you can

Yeah and I'll show ya.

He wanted me to see the farm and offer some feedback.

These are my layers and they do lay eggs but

not in their chicken coop here.

I think some sort of predator got in there

and scared the poop out of them.

I said I think I know who the predator might be Colin.

It's Colin.

Colin they're hiding their eggs from you man.

Cause they know they're going to end up

in the frying pan.

First task, find the eggs which, mysteriously,

were not under the chickens.

Now is there anything where you're standing?

Cause if there is I guess you've squashed them huh?

I guess you don't do too well at easter time huh?

AHHH!

Oh you're getting hot.

There you go!

I can't believe that.

Finally it was time to move up to the mammals.

My favourite.

What kind of sheeps are these?

These are purebred icelandics.

And in my next task Colin endowed me with a little

more responsibility.

They're some lambs born just yesterday.

We dip the navels in iodine to stop them

getting infected.

So here we go, that's his penis but if you hit his

penis, his penis is going to shrivel up and kind of

drop off and he won't be too happy about that.

I won't do that, I will not do that.

And then tip it up, bingo, excellent.

I'd give you a ten out of ten.

All clear of the penis.

Now that little guy can grow up to impregnate

a female sheep.

Kids leave the room!

So Jonny you're going to see a birthing.

It's her first birth, you can see she's ready though

cause those are the hooves that are sticking out right now.

She comes out, the hooves are like this and the

head's tucked down.

It does the superman.

It comes out with a big dive, you got it.

The town where I grew up, Pouch Cove in Newfoundland,

it's a fishing town, there's no farms.

I've never been around anything like that in my life.

Keep pushing, that's a girl.

And it was really to be quite honest it was quite moving.

There you go.

Holy cow.

We got to let mama clean it, there you go mama, come on.

What a good job.

Start working on it, you lick it, come on,

come girl you lick it, come on lick it damn it.

The mother doesn't know what to do and

it's really important to get this mucous out of its

nose and its mouth because that can stop it from breathing.

And we lay it down in front of the mother and

the thing's not moving, it's not breathing.

Come on keep licking, keep licking, you got to keep

this guy alive, come on.

Come on girl, you're supposed to be licking it.

The mother doesn't know what to do right and

it's really important to get this mucous off.

We lay it down in front of the mother was troubled so

we were panicked and it turns out that before the

baby lamb can start breathing it needs all

the mucous licked clean from it.

There we go it's alive, good girl.

I think the lamb's going to make it.

And I'll tell ya it wasn't that bad, it wasn't that bad.

I got a bit of a buzz off it, it was kind of nice.

So what will you call the little lamb?

This is probably going to be number 12 or something.

Welcome to the world number 12 happy to have ya.

That mucousy moment taught me there's no point

focusing on the hard times in life, it's what you do

next that really matters.

That was pretty powerful to see that.

Giving reviews in person is kind of awkward

but I had no email access soooo...

So I have the first written review of your farm stay.

Dear Colin, how are you?

I am fine.

I had a great time at the farmstay.

One of my faves was iodizing navels,

I like how you have to avoid shriveling the penis,

the stakes are high on that one.

The egg hunt was frustrating for me.

I don't like to be outsmarted by poultry

never have, never will.

The highlight of my stay was birthing a lamb,

yes there was a lot of mucous, like mucous city man but

I will always have a place in my heart for number 12.

Yours truly, Jonny Harris.

Thank you.

You can do whatever you want with it.

I've learned a lot here since I got to Berwick.

How you guys adapt and reinvent.

I've learned that you can be happy if you're rolling

with the punches you know.

I've learned that if life hands you lemons, you make

lemon flavoured apple juice, is what you do.

I realize now the true gift Carol and

Julie had given me.

You could only really learn the lessons of

Berwick one bite at a time.

Carol and Julie told me that any proper Berwick

man eats 20 pounds of apples in a week.

Hey Hey...

I think you've been had..

right before I came down to the hall here tonight my mom

called me for the first time since I got to Nova

Scotia and she said Jonathan how is it going?

I said oh you know it's going pretty good.

I toured with some Belgian beauties, had tea

with a princess, ate 20 pounds of apples and

birthed an Icelandic lamb.

She said what are you talking about?

I said mom I'm talking about Berwick, Nova Scotia.

Thanks so much everybody.

[Applause]

Jonny picked up on everything that we do in Berwick.

Jonny didn't miss anything.

I was expecting to have the mickey taken out of me

but hey he did it so nicely I didn't mind.

I just love the town.

I do and that's why because there's people

like this that fill this place.

I'm not using my fm radio voice when I tell Jonny

to come back anytime.

Jonny has helped us reflect on who we are and

the fun that we actually have and we don't even realize.

It's really great that Jonny was able to consume

at least 20 pounds of apples while he was here.