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1
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,721
What in the is --
2
00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:01,126
So I threw the senate at him.
3
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,195
The whole senate!
4
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,129
True story!
5
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,165
My God, that is so funny.
6
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,134
You made it come
out of my nose.
7
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,204
Go for papa palpatine.
8
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,972
You have a collect call from...
9
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:17,109
Darth vader.
10
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,511
I got to take this.
Hold on.
11
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:22,481
Vader, how's my favorite sith?
12
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,416
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Whoa.
13
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,484
Just slow down.
14
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,122
What do you mean,
they blew up the death star?
15
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,596
Who's "they"?
16
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,132
What the hell
is an aluminum falcon?
17
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:43,669
Okay, okay, so who's left?
18
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,537
Are you me?
19
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:46,772
Well, where are you?
20
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,974
Wait a sec,
you been flying around
21
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,143
for two weeks trying
to get a signal?
22
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:56,682
You must smell like feet wrapped
in leathery, burnt bacon.
23
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,017
I-I'm sorry.
24
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,386
I thought my dark lord of the
sith could protect
25
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:03,589
a small thermal-exhaust port
that's only two meters wide.
26
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,691
That thing wasn't even fully
paid off yet.
27
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,360
Do you have any idea what this
is gonna do to my credit?
28
00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:11,296
Hang on, I got another call.
29
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,099
What?!
I'm very busy right now!
30
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,503
Well, where are they going?
31
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,604
All right.
32
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:22,141
Um, just get me a Turkey club.
33
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,909
Cole slaw, I guess.
34
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,944
I'm not even gonna eat it.
35
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,613
What are you getting?
36
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:30,049
No, see, I always order
the wrong thing.
37
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,451
No, no, no,
I'll just stick with that.
38
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:33,419
Okay, bye.
39
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:34,353
W-what?
40
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:35,854
Cherry coke.
41
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,289
Thanks.
42
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,758
Sorry about that.
43
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:42,027
What?
"just rebuild it"?
44
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,462
Real original.
45
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,397
And who's gonna give me a loan,
jackhole?
46
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:46,598
You?
47
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,168
You got an atm on that torso
lite-brite?
48
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,070
"Now get your 7'2" asthmatic
ass back here,
49
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,439
or I'm gonna tell everyone what
a whiny bitch
50
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,474
you were about padamami or
panda bear
51
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,344
or whatever the hell
her name is.
52
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,512
Jeez, he's crying.
53
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,215
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
54
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,184
Come on, come on, don't do that.
55
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,418
Just -- just -- look,
56
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:09,421
I'm just dealing with a lot of
crap right now.
57
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:13,158
Death star blown up by a bunch
of teenagers, you know?
58
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:16,295
I didn't mean to snap.
59
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,164
O-okay, just get back here.
60
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,933
Okay.
Okay, bye.
61
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:25,137
Y-- I --
I love you, too.
62
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,538
What'll it be, pal?
63
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,273
Martini!
64
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,344
Jee-- my God.
65
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,580
I got to get that
transfer to coruscant.
66
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:37,149
I guess we'll have to eat
this boring oatmeal.
67
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,484
It's a trap!
68
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:41,020
Wow! Admiral ackbar!
69
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,922
Wow! Admiral ackbar cereal!
70
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,491
Colorful marshmallows!
71
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,026
Imitation crab meat!
72
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:50,262
Your tongues can't repel flavor
of that magnitude.
73
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,197
There's a prize in every box.
74
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:55,167
Admiral ackbar cereal,
now with brine shrimp.
75
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,951
Whazuuuuup, ponda!
76
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,422
Let's bust out early
77
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,391
and hit that new cantina
across the street.
78
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,161
Come on!
79
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:24,463
One drink ain't gonna kill you.
80
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:33,706
Like I'm really gonna eat a
bunch of bananas after that?!
81
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:46,618
He doesn't like you.
82
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,187
I'm sorry.
83
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,356
I don't like you, either.
84
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,857
You better watch yourself.
85
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,992
We're wanted men.
86
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:56,962
I have the death sentence on
12 systems.
87
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,764
I'll be careful.
88
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:03,402
You'll be dead!
89
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,675
Gee, ponda,
I just don't see how
90
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:14,346
you can keep designing with
no drawing arm.
91
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:18,083
I'm sorry,
but we have to let you go.
92
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,487
-- dear.
93
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,154
My keys.
94
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:28,060
It's almost open.
Hold on to this.
95
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,762
Whoa, coming through!
96
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,363
The wall's on fire!
97
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:33,899
What was that?
98
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,100
It was a lightsaber!
99
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,435
This is my first day!
100
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:45,244
What the --
Little help?
101
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,146
Welcome to orientation day
here on the jolly,
102
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,280
old death star.
103
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,349
There are a few things
we want to go over
104
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,750
with you concerning
lord vader.
105
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,520
First and foremost, he thinks he
has the power to strangle us.
106
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,554
Truth is, he doesn't.
107
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:56,655
If he ever realized this,
108
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,624
he would kill us
with his lightsaber.
109
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,993
Thus, to keep us safe, we'll all
pretend to get strangled.
110
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,361
Okay, let's try a practice.
111
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,430
Commander Winston here will
assist me.
112
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,765
I'm going to hold out my hand
like lord vader,
113
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,835
and he will pretend to be
strangled.
114
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,236
Gasping for air.
115
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,771
Grabs throat, yes.
116
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,773
Eyes back, and he's down.
117
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,342
Good show, commander.
118
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:20,245
Now two of the floor chiefs will
retrieve the corpse,
119
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:23,449
redress him, add a mustache,
and he's back to work
120
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,983
as lieutenant Leopold.
121
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,219
Vader has the satisfaction of
killing someone,
122
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,021
and we stay amongst the living.
123
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,522
Why, private Perkins over there
124
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,424
has been strangled over 30
times,
125
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,360
haven't you, Perkins?
126
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:35,427
Good man.
127
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,330
This is awesome!
128
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,431
R2, patch me through.
129
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:42,001
I want to call
Uncle Owen and aunt --
130
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,907
You're George Lucas!
131
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,677
I take it you're here for
the "star wars" convention?
132
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:52,878
I sure am.
133
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:53,979
Want to see my costume?
134
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,281
Um...
135
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,384
See?
I'm a tauntaun.
136
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,152
But I don't have to tell you.
137
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,620
You invented tauntauns.
138
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,289
Well, that's very
interesting.
139
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,125
Listen to my tauntaun call!
140
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,229
Nicely done.
141
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,363
Dear God.
142
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,631
My God!
143
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,867
George Lucas!
144
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,001
I love you!
145
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,404
Give me a baby!
146
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,005
Quickly, sir!
147
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,440
Onto my back!
148
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,008
I am your steed.
149
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:27,012
I have a bad feeling about this.
150
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,116
Dear God.
151
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,089
Well, um...
152
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,092
And I thought they smelled bad
on the outside.
153
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,165
Just like in the movie!
154
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,200
Me?
155
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,702
Thank you!
156
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,270
Thank you!
157
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,939
And that was the greatest day
of my whole life.
158
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,641
What about when I was born?
159
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,142
Not even close.
160
00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,379
But with the blast shield down,
I can't even see.
161
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:04,149
How am I supposed to fight?
162
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,150
Ooh!
163
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,487
Ooh!
164
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,324
Damn it!
165
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,625
What is it?
166
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,227
I never get a spaceship.
167
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,261
I never get anything.
168
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,063
Should we order
some Chinese food?
169
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,231
I don't know, I guess.
170
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,833
We'll get some Chinese.
171
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,268
Hello, could we get, um...
172
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,938
What do you think, 5 million
tons of kung pao chicken?
173
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:26,772
That's good.
174
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,307
Yeah, 3 million pot stickers
175
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,175
and one order of
scallion pancakes.
176
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,377
Get some fried rice.
177
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,012
5 million tons of fried rice.
178
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,847
Cash or charge?
It's -- hold on.
179
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,750
We're just gonna gobble him up
when he gets here, right?
180
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,585
Yeah, of course.
Cash, then.
181
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:42,187
That mother--
182
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,425
I got to get that transfer to
the death star.
183
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,861
Mr. president, your vitals
all check out fine.
184
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,095
There is just one thing.
185
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,297
Your midi-chlorian count is
extraordinarily high.
186
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,600
Does that mean
that I'm one of them,
187
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:59,138
whatcha call 'em, jedis?
188
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,142
Not tonight.
189
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,543
I'm tired, honey.
190
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,178
You're not tired.
191
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,613
You want to have a threesome.
192
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:08,881
I'm not tired.
193
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,383
I want to have a threesome.
194
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,618
Get me condi.
195
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,025
Sorry, "w."
196
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,494
Big Mac attack.
Yee-hoo!
197
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,064
Hey, hey, whoa!
198
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,232
What the dilly?
199
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,507
Saber beats rock.
200
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,077
What in the hell?
201
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,394
Who dares
disturb my slumber?
202
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:59,798
Who dares
question my... Daring
203
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,001
of his dare?
Jerk!
204
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:05,104
It is I, I who
freed the slaves,
205
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,005
I who united --
206
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,406
Boring.
207
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,408
Let's fight!
208
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:23,088
If you
strike me down,
209
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,356
I shall become -- wait,
let me finish!
210
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,657
Aah!
211
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:28,293
That'll teach you,
George Washington!
212
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,763
Jenna, get over here right now!
213
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,431
I am your father!
214
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,500
That's not true.
215
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,268
That's impossible.
216
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:40,506
My real father would let me go
clubbing as late as I want!
217
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,807
You little --
218
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,877
No, baby, I'm sorry.
219
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:45,844
Aah!
220
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,579
You suck!
221
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,949
Nooooo!
222
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:52,851
What --
223
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,319
Was it just a dream?
224
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,355
Mr, president, we still
haven't found any weapons
225
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,723
of mass destruction.
226
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:01,026
You have found
weapons of mass destruction.
227
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,562
...Hi.
228
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,563
We haven't.
229
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,398
You have.
230
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,334
I don't know what
you're doing.
231
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,935
Bring me a taco.
232
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:10,602
Yes, sir.
233
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,604
Tacos rule.
234
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,577
Cloud city will be cloudy
this evening,
235
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,812
followed by clouds.
236
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,916
Get your own tauntaun!
237
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,121
Your overconfidence
is your weakness.
238
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:32,257
Your faith in your
friends is yours.
239
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,525
Faith in yo mama.
240
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,827
What was that?
241
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,162
I said, yo mama's so
fat, jabba the hutt said,
242
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,731
"da-a-a-mn!"
243
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,865
Well, your
mother's so ugly,
244
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,600
she put the "ug" in ugnaught.
245
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,669
Yo mama fight!
246
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,908
Yo mama's so stupid,
she spent all day saying,
247
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:50,976
"am not," to r2.
248
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,481
Your mother is so
fat that Ben Kenobi said,
249
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,582
"that's no moon."
250
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,616
"That's your mama!"
251
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,352
Yo mama's so dumb,
252
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,055
she thought jar jar comes
with pickles pickles!
253
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,058
Your mother is so stupid,
254
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:10,562
she -- she thinks a
lightsaber has fewer calories.
255
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:12,798
I don't get it.
256
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,067
It's light.
Like it's light.
257
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,636
Like, light means that there's
not a lot of calories
258
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,304
and it's good... For your body.
259
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,140
That's how stupid
your mother is.
260
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,042
Yo mama is so stupid,
261
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,611
she went to Bangkok
to get a tie fighter.
262
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,113
And Luke wins!
263
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,782
What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
264
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,217
Put me down!
265
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,890
Come on.
266
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,458
What are they doing up
there all the time?
267
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,697
What's happened up there?
268
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:46,899
We had a slight
weapons malfunction,
269
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,667
but everything's perfectly
all right now.
270
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,868
We're all fine here now.
271
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,670
Thank you. How are you?
272
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,105
We're sending a squad up.
273
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:53,972
Negative.
274
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:54,940
We had a reactor leak here now.
275
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:55,841
Give us a minute.
276
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:57,309
Large leak, very dangerous.
277
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,411
There's no reactor
on that floor.
278
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,347
Yes, well... I talked
to Dave Johnson
279
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:02,781
in stormtrooper engineering,
280
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,084
and he said there
is a reactor here.
281
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,151
Dave Johnson?
282
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,286
Hang on one second.
283
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,421
Okay, I have Dave Johnson
on the line.
284
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,856
Dave, did you tell someone
285
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,225
there's a reactor in
prisoner control room?
286
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,260
No, there's no
reactor there.
287
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,096
I don't know what to tell you,
288
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,797
but I'm staring straight
at a reactor.
289
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,433
Maybe vader had it
installed yesterday.
290
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,835
Hang on a second.
291
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,403
What do you want?
292
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,071
Lord vader, did you install
293
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,540
a reactor in the prisoner
control room?
294
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,642
Um... Not that I know of.
295
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,944
Hang on one second.
296
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,080
Sheila, can you get me the plans
to the death star?
297
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,649
Okeydokey, the plans here --
298
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,451
Let me have a look.
299
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:45,524
Reactor, reactor, reactor.
300
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,293
No reactor that I can see, but
might as well put one in.
301
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,396
There's always room
for another reactor.
302
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,598
We'll send a team up to build
the new reactor.
303
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,166
No, not necessary.
304
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,534
We've got it under control.
305
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,269
Boring conversation anyway.
306
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,138
Okay, let's build this reactor.
307
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,639
Inform the emperor
308
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,708
that the jedi temple
has been sealed.
309
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,609
Yes, my lord.
310
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,543
Ani?
311
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,644
Ani! Little ani!
312
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,847
Jar jar, I am no
longer Anakin Skywalker.
313
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,283
These are some nice duds.
314
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,919
Look, jar jar, it is
very important...
315
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,555
That you never speak
to me again.
316
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,257
What'sa happen to you?
317
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,358
Yousa burn your face --
318
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,592
Aaaah!
319
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,894
Ani-Bo-bani!
320
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,929
What'sa happen to you?
321
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:27,132
Jar jar, homey, my
main man, quickly,
322
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:30,402
before the separatists attack,
get into the escape pod.
323
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,605
Hey, if this is
escape, then where the pod?
324
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,841
Yousa forgot the pod!
325
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:36,875
Whoo!
326
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,386
Ani, look!
327
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,021
Yousa not gonna believe it!
328
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,456
Meesa all sparkly glowy.
329
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:54,159
Now weesa gonna have all the
time to spend together.
330
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,894
I love you, ani!
331
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,365
Ani, yeah!
332
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:04,937
And toshi station is proud to
present the power converters!
333
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,005
Yeah!
334
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,578
Hey, Mr. solo.
335
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,712
Solo on the rocks.
336
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,614
You can't beat me,
I'm boba fett!
337
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,649
I'm the greatest
bounty hunter ever.
338
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:19,685
Yeah.
339
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:20,819
What's that, solo?
340
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,254
Blasters aren't fair?
341
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,490
Okay, dig it -- no blasters.
342
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,458
Didn't see that one coming,
did you?
343
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,626
So slow.
344
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,195
You thought I was over there,
but guess what.
345
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,664
Over here.
346
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,499
Yeah.
347
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,367
A little rope-a-dope?
348
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,103
Left-right-left-right!
349
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,406
Down goes solo.
350
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,077
What's that?
351
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,945
You want a face-to-face?
352
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,381
Let me just take
this bad boy off.
353
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:52,217
He's even better looking
without the helmet.
354
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,218
Surprise ending.
355
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,421
You want me to come closer?
356
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,790
You don't want
to fight anymore?
357
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,526
Your hands are up there
almost like you're begging --
358
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,294
Begging for a little
piece of boba.
359
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,229
Yeah, you like that, don't you?
360
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,098
You like it 'cause you're bad.
361
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,901
Yeah.
You dirty little smuggler.
362
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:16,608
Turn to the dark side
and join me.
363
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,844
I'll never join you!
364
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,913
You killed my father!
365
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:24,516
No, Luke,
I am your father.
366
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,819
That's not true.
367
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,620
That's impossible!
368
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,590
And princess Leia
is your sister.
369
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,359
That's not true!
370
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,494
That's... Improbable.
371
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:40,666
And the empire will be
defeated by ewoks.
372
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,668
That's...
373
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,269
Very unlikely.
374
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:49,675
And as a child,
I built c-3po.
375
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,012
And the force?
376
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:56,615
Well, that's just microscopic
bacteria in your bloodstream
377
00:16:56,616 --> 00:17:00,219
called midi-chlorians.
378
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:03,155
Look, if you're not
gonna take this seriously,
379
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,289
I'm out.
380
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:05,691
As you can see,
381
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,060
my young apprentice,
your friends have --
382
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,097
Your friends have failed.
383
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,332
Now --
384
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:17,102
Now witness the firepower of --
385
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:19,471
Fully armed and operational --
386
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,140
Come on!
387
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,744
Hey, fellas!
388
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,280
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
389
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,451
Hey, the force is strong
with this one?
390
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,119
What do you got there, a latte?
391
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,288
You ever have
the hazelnut macchiato?
392
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,657
Change your life.
393
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:41,760
Anywho... Tony, right?
394
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,929
Ray.
Ray, sorry.
395
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:44,830
I get mixed up.
396
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,966
Who's Tony?
397
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,501
Anyway, I hate to interrupt.
398
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,969
I know you're very busy.
399
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,706
Is there any way you could
finish this area, you know,
400
00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:54,807
later?
401
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,009
I'm kind of in
the middle of something.
402
00:17:57,010 --> 00:18:00,245
Look, Mr. saltine,
I don't tell you how to...
403
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,414
Threaten your blond kid,
so why don't you
404
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,717
go back over there to your
sit-and-spin
405
00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:06,151
and let me do my job?
406
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:08,454
Okay, copy that.
Good talk.
407
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,489
They'll just be a little longer.
408
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,157
I'd tell them to stop, but,
409
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:15,661
you know...
No speak-o minimum wage-o.
410
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,097
So, where was I?
411
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,365
Right, right.
412
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,333
Now witness the firepower...
413
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:27,806
¶ ¶
414
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,320
jabba the hutt's hottest
singer was blown to smithereens,
415
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,654
but his rock 'n' roll
will never die.
416
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,289
Presenting Max rebo's
greatest hits,
417
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,592
including "why do I look like an
elephant?"...
418
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,096
"Ooh, I have an average
memory"...
419
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,601
And his grammy award-winning
single,
420
00:18:55,602 --> 00:19:00,039
"I already told you I'm not an
elephant"...
421
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,242
And his famous duet with
nsync's Joey fatone.
422
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:07,346
¶ Neither of us is
an elephant ¶
423
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,614
Max rebo's greatest hits,
424
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,382
the guy who looks like
a blue elephant.
425
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,617
Order now.
426
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:14,887
Ya ya ya!
427
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:16,055
Okay, everybody.
428
00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:17,623
Welcome back to the show.
429
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,992
We have a surprise guest
tonight.
430
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,527
I really wasn't expecting this.
431
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,828
Emperor palpatine is here.
432
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,730
Silence!
433
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,699
Fear me!
434
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,833
So, tell me,
your highness,
435
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,302
how do you plan on putting down
this rebellion?
436
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:33,405
By shooting it
with lightning!
437
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,909
That's how I solve all my
problems.
438
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,211
And then afterwards,
I shall eat pudding.
439
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,779
Okay.
440
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,081
But seriously,
441
00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:44,350
the rebels have already caused
major disruptions.
442
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:48,087
I'll show you a
major disruption...
443
00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:52,091
A major disruption in
my adult undergarments.
444
00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,092
Okay.
445
00:19:53,093 --> 00:19:54,860
Can we get out of here?
446
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,262
Seriously, Francis, it's time
for my soap operas.
447
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,497
It's zuckuss.
448
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,132
Peace out,
fly-face!
449
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:00,933
Fear me!
450
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,735
Okay, that was fun.
451
00:20:02,736 --> 00:20:05,838
Let's bring out our next guest,
the lord of the sith,
452
00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:07,172
darth vader!
453
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:10,776
Hey, easy.
454
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:13,178
You could hurt somebody
with that.
455
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,313
Easy, boy. Easy, boy.
456
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,215
Okay, well,
that's our show tonight.
457
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,717
Stay tuned for
"late-night talk" with Sinbad.
458
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,524
That was so wrong.
459
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:29,294
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to empire on ice!
460
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,765
¶ The empire is chasing us ¶
461
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:34,299
¶ they simply will not cease ¶
462
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,068
¶ man, my nuts
are freezing, kid ¶
463
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,302
¶ I'm up out this bitch ¶
464
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,404
Peace!
465
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,973
¶ I'm the wampa ¶
466
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:42,675
¶ I'm the snowman ¶
467
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:46,945
¶ and I don't take
any lip from no man ¶
468
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,080
but --
469
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:58,090
¶ I know you want me
bad, princess ¶
470
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:03,395
¶ you know you're
such a flirter ¶
471
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:07,766
¶ shut up,
you scruffy nerf-herder ¶
472
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,403
¶ Luke, he hasn't
checked in yet ¶
473
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,205
¶ it might be that he is done ¶
474
00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:15,240
¶ his chances of
surviving here ¶
475
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,409
¶ are 10,000,005-to-1 ¶
476
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:23,115
¶ You're so dumb ¶
477
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:28,654
¶ the empire's been alerted,
and here they come ¶
478
00:21:29,823 --> 00:21:31,890
¶ empire on ice ¶
479
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,125
¶ empire on ice ¶
480
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,593
¶ here we are ¶
481
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,363
¶ the empire on ice ¶
482
00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:41,767
¶ all those rebels will pay a
big price ¶
483
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,535
¶ vader's not nice ¶
484
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,671
¶ and the tauntaun gets sliced ¶
485
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:47,840
¶ and Chewbacca has lice ¶
486
00:21:47,841 --> 00:21:51,710
¶ the empire on ice ¶
487
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,146
¶ empire on ice ¶
488
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:59,251
¶ empire on I-i-ice ¶
489
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:37,322
Ani, yeah!
32442
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