All language subtitles for Psych The Musical 2013_English

male narrator:
"ONCE UPON A TIME...

THE END."

WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

THESE PAGES ARE TOO STICKY.

"A MAN WITH
INCREDIBLE SKILL FACED

HIS MOST
DIFFICULT CHALLENGE."

AH, UNBELIEVABLE.

[clears throat]

"ACROSS A VAST
AND DANGEROUS LAND,

HE--HE--"

I-I NEED TO FIX THIS.

*

THIS IS GONNA DRIVE ME NUTS.

"HE WOULD BRING
OLD FRIENDS AND FOES TOGETHER

"TO CALM A GREAT EVIL,

"AND THOUGH HE HOLDS
A GREAT SECRET

"UNKNOWN TO ALL BUT A FEW...

THE END."

AH, I GIVE UP.

LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS
AN ADVENTURE LIKE NO OTHER.

*

- * THERE'S A TOWN
ON THE COAST *

* ON THE PATH
OF FATHER SERRA *

* WEALTHY WHITE GUYS
IN BOATS *

* CALL THE U.S. RIVIERA

* WITH A DARK DIRTY SECRET

* SOON TO BE UNFURLED

* IT'S THE MURDER CAPITAL
OF THE WORLD *

- WAIT, WHAT?

- YOU KNOW,
LOTS OF KILLING.

NOBODY KNOWS.

- YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE?
- YES.

- UM, NO.

- GUS, COME ON,
TAKE A LOOK AROUND.

IT'S SANTA BARBARA, MAN,
HOME OF THE YIN/YANG KILLER.

- THAT WAS ONE SERIAL KILLER
YEARS AGO.

- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHY ARE YOU RAINING
ON MY PARADE?

DON'T YOU HAVE TO BE AT WORK?

* AND THIS TOWN NEEDS A MAN

* WHO CAN STOP
THIS REIGN OF TERROR *

* CATCHING BAD GUYS
LIKE FLIES *

- * WHEN HE'S GIVEN ROOM
FOR ERROR *

- * A MAN WHO SEES CLUES ALMOST
IF THEY WERE ALIGHTING *

* GETS ACCUSED TO CONFESS

* 'CAUSE HIS HAIR
IS SO EXCITING *

*

* AND THOUGH
HIS ATTIRE'S INFORMAL *

* HIS SKILLS ARE PARANORMAL

* LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA *

* HOO-DEE-HOO,
HOO-DEE-HOO *

AHH!

- SERIOUSLY?
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU?

- YES, I AM.
IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

- UM, WHERE DO I START?

FIRST OF ALL,
YOU'RE NOT A PSYCHIC.

- SHH.

- WHO COULD BE LISTENING,
THE DANCING GUY?

- GUS, DON'T BE
THE KITES UPON STRINGS.

WE NEED TO BE
A TAD MORE CAUTIOUS

WITH OUR LITTLE SECRET.
OTHER COPS CANNOT--

- LITTLE SECRET?
YOU'RE LIVING A LIE.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T KNOW,

AND THE LAST TIME I CHECKED,
YOU'RE NOT A COP.

- ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE.

* A COP I AM NOT

* I'M JUST GOOD
AT OBSERVATION *

* BUT WITH SHORTCUTS
- * AND CONS

- * AND THE PROPER
PRESENTATION *

* THEY BELIEVE THAT I CAN
RAISE A FINGER TO MY HEAD *

* SEE THE PAST,
READ A MIND *

* AND CAN MINGLE
WITH THE DEAD *

* AND SURE,
MY GIRL'S DECEIVED *

* BUT THAT WEB'S
ALREADY WEAVED *

* WOVEN

* WEAV-IED?

all: * WOVED

- * THE KEY IS THAT
I'M IN TOO DEEP *

* TO TURN BACK NOW

* SO I TELL THESE LIES

* UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

* THE TRUTH

* IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE
TO TREAD *

* WHEN YOU'RE OVER YOUR HEAD

* I DO

* WHAT I HAVE TO
FOR THE COMMON GOOD *

* I'M MISUNDERSTOOD

* AND I'D COME CLEAN

* IF I ONLY COULD

* YEAH

* BUT I CAN'T

- * YOU MEAN YOU WON'T
- * IT'S THE SAME

- * NOT EVEN CLOSE
- * JUST DON'T ASK

- * I DIDN'T ASK
- * IT WAS IMPLIED

- * DEFINE "IMPLIED"

* YOU DON'T KNOW
- * YES, I KNOW

* AND I REALLY DON'T CARE

- * SOMEONE'S BOUND TO EXPOSE

* FUNNY BUSINESS
WE'RE CONDUCTING *

- * LIGHTEN UP,
WE'RE ALL GOOD *

- * WOULD YOU PLEASE
STOP INTERRUPTING? *

* ALL I KNOW,
IT'S JUST ME *

* ALWAYS CLEANING UP THE MESS

* WHILE YOUR HAIR
GETS THE CREDIT *

* GETTING PEOPLE TO CONFESS

- * IT'S WHY I MOISTURIZE

* UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

- * THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER

* IS IT'S ALL GOOD FUN

* TILL AN EYE COMES OUT

* I DO WHAT I HAVE TO

* FOR MY OWN SAFETY
AND LEGALITY *

* 'CAUSE TECHNICALLY

* IT'S A FELONY

- * IT'S JUST A FIB

- * IT'S A CRIME
- * THEY WON'T CARE

- * YES, THEY'LL MIND
AND WE'LL PROBABLY DO TIME *

- * OVER THERE IS MY DAD
HERE TO OFFER HIS ASSISTANCE *

*

- YEAH, NOT HAPPENING.

- * WITH OCCASIONAL
RESISTANCE *

- * SO WE FACE IT ALONE

* ALL THIS DARK
AND DIRTY SCHEMING *

* HOPE IT'S NOT
LIKE THE TIME *

* THAT MY PARTNER
WENT OFF SCREAMING *

- * WHEN I FOUGHT
- * NO, YOU HID

- * NO, I DIDN'T
- * YES, YOU DID

- * I'M JUST TRYING NOT TO BE
THE ONE WHO DIES *

- * UNDER SANTA BARBARA

both: * SKIES

* SANTA BARBARA

*

- * SANTA BABS

- * SHE'S OUR BABS

- * GOOD OLD BABS

both: * SANTA BARBARA SKIES

- GUS, I'M TELLING YOU, MAN.

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO BE ON STANDBY
FOR THE BLOODBATH

THAT'S ABOUT TO WASH OVER
OUR SLEEPY LITTLE COMMUNITY.

- SHAWN, WILL YOU STOP IT?

NOTHING TERRIBLE IS GONNA HAPPEN
IN THIS WONDERFUL PLACE.

- HMM.

[sighs]

[ominous music]

*

[radio chatter]

- PATIENT ROOMS 70 THROUGH 86,
CLEAR.

[ominous music]

*

[The Friendly Indians'
I Know You Know]

*

- * IN BETWEEN THE LINES
THERE'S A LOT OF OBSCURITY *

* I'M NOT INCLINED
TO RESIGN TO MATURITY *

* IF IT'S ALL RIGHT
THEN YOU'RE ALL WRONG *

* BUT WHY BOUNCE AROUND
TO THE SAME DAMN SONG? *

* YOU'D RATHER RUN
WHEN YOU CAN'T CRAWL *

* I KNOW, YOU KNOW

* THAT I'M NOT
TELLING THE TRUTH *

* I KNOW, YOU KNOW

* THEY JUST DON'T
HAVE ANY PROOF *

* EMBRACE THE DECEPTION

* LEARN HOW TO BEND

* YOUR WORST INHIBITIONS

* TEND TO PSYCH YOU OUT
IN THE END *

*

- * DRAGGING MY HEELS

- MCNAB! NO SINGING.
- SORRY, DETECTIVE.

- I NEED YOU TO ISSUE A BOLO
FOR A ZACHARY WALLACE ZANDER.

ALSO KNOWN BY
HIS NOM DE PLUME, Z.

- HIS WHAT?

- HIS NOM DE PLUME.

HIS PEN NAME.

NAME HE USES TO--
NEVER MIND.

HE WAS A PLAYWRIGHT
AND COMPOSER.

SPENT SEVEN YEARS
OBSESSIVELY WORKING ON

AJACK THE RIPPERMUSICAL.

THE NIGHT BEFORE PREVIEWS,
HE GOES CRAZY,

LOCKS A CRITIC IN THE THEATRE,
BURNS THE PLACE DOWN.

THAT WAS BACK IN '05.

LAST NIGHT, HE ESCAPED
FROM THE INSANE ASYLUM.

WE GOTTA CATCH
THIS NUT JOB AND FAST.

- * DRAGGING MY HEELS
- NO SINGING!

- SORRY, DETECTIVE.

[ominous music]

*

- TROUBLE?

- DOES IT SHOW?

- OH, A BIT.

YOU CARE TO SHARE?

I'M A GOOD LISTENER,

AND I DON'T GET
MUCH HUMAN CONTACT.

- IT'S A LONG STORY.

- DO I LOOK RUSHED?

LOOKS LIKE MY SQUIRREL FRIENDS
HAVE ABANDONED ME.

- I'M A WRITER.

AND THE LAST PROJECT
DIDN'T WORK OUT.

- UH, BOOKS, MOVIES?

- EVER HEAR OF
THE SANTA BARBARA PLAYHOUSE?

- WELL, I CAN'T SAY I GET OUT
TO THE THEATRE MUCH.

- WELL, LET ME START
AT THE BEGINNING, THEN.

IT WAS CALLED RIPPER!

OLD LONDON.
DARK.

VERY COOL,
OR I THOUGHT.

AND AFTER SEVEN YEARS...

[echoing]
AND CHANGE AFTER ENDLESS CHANGE,

I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING.

- * IN THE DARK OF YOUR SHADE,
YOU SHOULD ALL BE AFRAID *

* THEY WILL CALL ME RIPPER

- OKAY, THAT WAS NICE, CHRIS,
BUT WHAT IF ELISA COMES IN

JUST A BIT EARLIER.

- LIKE THIS?
- YEAH.

- OKAY.

- OKAY?
- HMM.

- I CAN FIX IT.

- WE ARE FIXING IT,
BIT BY BIT.

HAVE YOU SLEPT AT ALL?
- THERE'S NO TIME FOR SLEEP.

LOOK, I HAVE REVISIONS
FOR YOU.

- WE'LL GET THERE
DURING PREVIEWS, I PROMISE.

JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,
OKAY?

- I'M--
- HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

WHAT'S UP?

- WHO LET ANDREW SCHECK IN?

- NOBODY, WE WOULDN'T
LET A CRITIC IN

BEFORE PREVIEWS,
ESPECIALLY SCHECK.

- HE WATCHED THE ENTIRE
RUN-THROUGH YESTERDAY,

AND HE'S WRITING A PIECE.
- OFF OF A RUN-THROUGH?

- MM-HMM.
- HE CAN'T.

- HE DID.

WE'RE DONE.

- WE'RE DONE?
- NO.

CAN WE TALK?

- SO THIS SCHECK
IS AN IMPORTANT PERSON?

- VERY POWERFUL,
BUT NOT REALLY VERY KIND

TO ANY OF US EVER.

BOTTOM-FEEDER.

HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE.

HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE.

I'M HEARING IT'S OVER.
- OVER?

NO, Z,
YOU'RE GETTING PARANOID.

IT'LL BE OKAY.
- NO, IT'S NOT.

OH, MY GOD.

HE'S HERE.
- WHO?

- SCHECK.

HE'S TRYING TO KILL US.

- KILL THE SHOW?

- THERE'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE.

- TRY TO SLEEP.

- ELISA!

GET OVER HERE!

- * SOMETHING'S WRONG
BENEATH THE ARTIFICE *

* I FEEL THE GROUND
BECOMING LIQUID *

* SOMETHING'S WRONG

* THE ELEMENTS CONSPIRE

* TO SEE THAT I BECOME
THE VICTIM *

* SOMETHING WRONG
IN THIS PROSCENIUM *

* THE DEATH OF OPTIMISM'S
LURKING *

* SOMETHING WRONG
GIVES ME THE CLARITY *

* TO STOP CONSPIRACIES
FROM WORKING *

[thunder striking]

[door knob rattling]

* YOU CAN'T BE HERE

* YOU CAN'T DO THIS

[fire crackling]

[coughs]

[coughing]

- THAT--

THAT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN,
RIGHT?

- IT DID.

- THOSE PEOPLE DIED?

- ONE.

- WHY--WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME,

A RANDOM STRANGER?

- BUT YOU'RE NOT RANDOM.

YOU'RE LIKE ME.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

YOU'RE INVISIBLE.
YOU'LL LISTEN.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?

- BECAUSE I'VE WATCHED YOU
EVERY DAY

FROM MY WINDOW
ACROSS THE STREET.

- ISN'T--ISN'T THAT
AN INSTITUTION?

- NOT A VERY GOOD ONE.

THEY DON'T LISTEN.

- BUT THIS IS
A MURDER CONFESSION.

YOU'LL--YOU'LL GO TO JAIL.

- THEY DON'T ALWAYS
SEND MURDERERS TO JAIL.

- YEAH, THERE'S--THERE'S
NO REASON TO TELL ME.

- BUT THERE IS...

BECAUSE THEN
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND

WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO
TO YOU.

- THE CAMERAS LOST ZACHARY
ABOUT 30 FEET FROM THIS GATE,

SO HE WOULD HAVE HIT
THE STREET HERE.

WHERE HE WENT AFTER
THIS SPOT IS ANYBODY'S GUESS.

- NOT ANYBODY'S GUESS.
MINE.

HE WENT TO THE LEFT,
DOCTOR.

- CHIEF DOCTOR, DETECTIVE.

- IT'S HEAD DETECTIVE,
CHIEF DOCTOR.

- WHY LEFT?

- BECAUSE THE BUS STATION
IS DIRECTLY DOWN THIS ROAD.

HE WILL LOOK SANE
AS TAX RELIEF

COMPARED TO THE SLOBBERING
STEW OF GENETIC DO-OVERS

THAT POPULATE
THE MAIN TERMINAL.

- I'M SORRY,
DID YOU SAY--

- SLOBBERING STEW OF GENETIC
DO-OVERS? YES, I DID.

BUT I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
YOUR WHACKADOODLES.

I'M SURE THEY'RE ALL LOVELY.

- THEY'RE NOT--
- WE KNOW.

LOOK, DETECTIVE LASSITER
CAN BE A LITTLE INSENSITIVE,

AND ALSO, HE'S WRONG.

I THINK THAT
THE PARKING LOT CAMERAS

PICKED UP Z,
SO I BELIEVE HE WENT RIGHT.

- THE SPIRITS ARE TELLING ME

THAT HE WENT DIRECTLY
ACROSS THE STREET

INTO THE PARK,
INTO THE WOODS.

- SPIRITS ARE TELLING HIM?

- HE'S A PSYCHIC.

- AND WHO BELIEVES THIS?
- MOST OF US.

- NOT ME.

- DOCTOR,

YOU TOO WILL SOON BELIEVE.

[dramatic piano music]

* HELLO, MY NAME
IS SHAWN SPENCER *

* THIS IS MY PARTNER,
LIL' WAYNE *

* THE EVIDENCE
HERE'S UNDERWHELMING *

* BUT MY INTUITION IS INSANE

- * A TRAINED OBSERVER
MISSES NOTHING *

* EACH IMPERFECTION
IS A TRAIL *

* IT'S NOT A QUESTION
OF IF OR WHERE *

* BUT WHEN THE GUILTY PARTY
GOES TO JAIL *

COME WITH ME.

- * THE PARK
- * THE BUS

- * THE PARK
- * THE BUS

- * THE SPIRITS ARE STICKLERS
JUST CHECK WITH GUS *

- OH!

- THERE'S NO WAY
I'M WRONG ABOUT THIS.

- * I'VE HEARD IT BOTH WAYS

* THE RIGHT WAY
AND THEN YOURS *

* I'VE HEARD IT BOTH WAYS

* LET'S NOT OPEN ANY SORES

* I'VE HEARD IT
RIGHT AND WRONG *

* DON'T CHEECH
MY CHONG ANYMORE *

AH.
- SPENCER, GIVE ME MY PHONE.

- SPIRITUAL GPS.
I CAN'T HELP IT.

- SPENCER, GIVE ME MY PHONE.

- HAS HE SEEN ANYONE
PROFESSIONALLY

ABOUT THIS PSYCHIC THING?

- YES, HE STAYED IN
A FACILITY ONCE ACROSS TOWN.

IT WAS FOR A CASE.

- HE LOVED IT.

- THAT'S TRUE, DOCTOR!
I CANNOT DENY IT.

IT WAS QUITE A TREAT.

ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.

TO THE PARK!

* THE FATES ALREADY SET
IN MOTION *

* I FEEL THE CRIME SCENE
COME ALIVE *

* DROP ALL YOUR PRECONCEIVED
EMOTIONS AND NOTIONS *

* UNLESS YOU'RE NOVA SCOTIAN

* AND FEEL
THE CRIMINAL CONNIVE *

AND THAT IS HOW I DO IT.

- CONGRATULATIONS, SPENCER.

YOU FINALLY SOLVED THE GREAT
PEANUT-SHELLING CAPER OF '09.

AS WE ALL SUSPECTED,
IT WAS THE CHIPMUNK.

- YOU ARE EMBARRASSING US.

- GUS, DON'T BE THE VERY MODEL
OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL.

LOOK AT THOSE SHELLS.

THEY'RE CRACKED BY TINY,
ADORABLE,

RABIES-INFESTED,
PLAGUE-CAUSING RODENT TEETH.

NOW LOOK OVER THERE.

THOSE SHELLS ARE SMASHED
VIOLENTLY, ALMOST AS IF...

* OUR VICTIM'S HERE
AND FEEDING VERMIN *

* YOUR PATIENT DRIFTS
INTO HIS VIEW *

* HE SCOOTS ASIDE,
BUT STILL UNCERTAIN *

* WHAT THIS DARK STRANGER'S
GONNA DO *

- * YOU GET ALL THIS
FROM BROKEN PEANUTS? *

- * PERHAPS WE'RE DRIFTING
OFF THE TRACK *

- * THIS IS A PSYCHIC
DEMONSTRATION I'M MAKIN' *

- * THEY LOST
A MENTAL PATIENT *

- * I'M NOT SURE WHICH OF THEM
IS CRACKED *

- * THE NUTS?
- * YOU'RE CRACKED

- * YOU'RE NUTS

both: * I'VE HEARD IT
BOTH WAYS *

* THE RIGHT WAY
AND THEN YOURS *

* I'VE HEARD IT BOTH WAYS

* LET'S NOT OPEN
ANY SORES *

* I'VE HEARD IT
RIGHT AND WRONG *

* DON'T DIPH MY THONG

* ANY MORE

* OH, ANY MORE

* OH, ANY MORE

- * OH, ANY--

EWW.

- THIS GUY DIDN'T
JUST WANT TO ESCAPE.

I MEAN, THIS IS--
- THE BEGINNINGS OF A RAMPAGE.

- O'HARA, YOU PULL EVERY CONTACT
THIS KOOK, Z, EVER HAD.

WE ARE GONNA HAVE
TO DIG DEEP.

THIS CRAZY HASN'T SPOKEN TO
ANOTHER PERSON IN SEVEN YEARS.

- ACTUALLY, DETECTIVE,
HE STARTED SPEAKING.

RECENTLY.

IT'S COMPLICATED.
- AND WHAT?

YOU PINKY-SWORE YOU WOULDN'T
TELL ANYBODY?

- IT WAS A DOCTOR-PATIENT
MATTER.

ALTHOUGH THIS CHANGES THINGS.
- I'M SORRY.

YOU SAID IT WAS COMPLICATED?

- THE CONFIDANT
IS ANOTHER PATIENT.

- TAKE ME TO
THIS PATIENT NOW.

- * THERE'LL BE SLEIGH BELLS
AND SONGS *

* AND HOMEMADE PIPE BOMBS

* DEE TEE DEE TEE

PAUL, WATCH THE CHANGES.

HI, SHAWN.

- IS PAUL HER NAME
FOR THE KARAOKE MACHINE?

- NO,
NOTHING THAT STRANGE.

IT'S THE NAME FOR
HER IMAGINARY PIANO PLAYER,

PAUL HOGAN.

- THE CROCODILE DUNDEE GUY?

- MM-HMM.
HE SEEMS TO CALM HER.

- SHH, PIPE DOWN, HELLBOY.

- WHAT?
- IT'S A VERY SPECIAL DAY.

AN AFTERNOON
OF MUSIC AND STORY,

AND SHAWN, I SAY THIS FROM
MY HEART WHEN I TELL YOU

I'M SO GLAD
I DID NOT DETONATE YOUR MOTHER.

AND THANK YOU, PAUL,

AND WITH THE MAGIC
OF THE SEASON,

I WISH I COULD NOT BLOW HER UP
ALL OVER AGAIN.

- DOES SHE KNOW
WHAT MONTH THIS IS?

- YOU CAN'T BE SURE.

- I INDULGE HER.

- AND GUS,
MR. CENTRAL COAST,

PLEASE TAKE A BOW.

YES.
[applause]

- SIT DOWN, AVON MAN.

- PHARMACEUTICAL SALESMAN.
- WHY ARE YOU ANTAGONIZING THEM?

- I DO NOT SELL FACE CREAM,
SHAWN.

I SELL THE DRUGS
THAT KEEP YOU PEOPLE

FROM SEEING DRAGONS
AT NIGHT.

- SHOULD WE DO THIS
IN PRIVATE?

- Z'S ESCAPE WAS GREAT,
RIGHT?

IS THERE VIDEO?
CAN WE WATCH?

- YANG,
WE HAVE TO HURRY, OKAY?

Z IS EXTRAORDINARILY SMART
AND DETERMINED.

- HE'S ALSO VERY TALENTED.
- OKAY.

- HE HAS THE SOUL OF A MONKEY

AND THE CUTICLES
OF AN AESTHETICIAN,

WHICH IS WHY I LOVE HIM SO.

- THAT IS CRAZY.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE
I HAVE A MONKEY INSIDE OF ME.

I SAY THAT BECAUSE
HIS NAILS ARE IMMACULATE.

OW!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT Z'S PLAN IS?

- I DO, EVERY STEP.

- GREAT.
SO TELL US WHERE HE'S GOING.

- NOPE,
CAN'T DO THAT.

- UH, THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

- YOU DIDN'T COME FOR MY SHOW?

- BOTH.
WE CAME FOR BOTH.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE
TO ME, SHAWN.

I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU.

- TSST, TSST, TSST.

- JUST TELL US
WHERE HIS NEXT VICTIM IS.

- VICTIM?
OR VICTIMS?

- THERE'S MORE THAN ONE?
- MAYBE.

BUT A GIRL NEEDS A DATE

BEFORE SHE OFFERS
HER BOUNTY.

- [snaps fingers]
- FINE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CIGARETTES? A SHIV?

A FREE PASS ON SPENDING
THE NIGHT IN "THE BOX"?

- WHAT KIND OF INSTITUTION
DO YOU THINK WE RUN?

- Z TAUGHT ME TO LOVE
THE THEATRE,

AND THIS--I'M NOT GOING
TO HAVE

A CARD LIKE THIS
TO PLAY AGAIN.

- NO, NO,
WE CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF HERE.

- OH, I JUST BET YOU CAN.

- NO, NO.
- YANG.

- SUCK IT.

- ALL RIGHT, YANG, YOU'VE HAD
YOUR LITTLE DAY OF FUN.

NOW, LET'S GET TO WORK.
EVERYBODY, BE CAREFUL.

THIS PLACE HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED
SINCE THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE.

- NOPE.
[sighs]

NO, NO.
DON'T KNOW.

NO.

- "DON'T KNOW"?

WELL, HERE'S A PLACE TO START.

UH, WHY DID HE ESCAPE?
HOW DID HE ESCAPE?

WHAT'S HIS PLAN?
AND WHERE IS HE?

- YANG?

USE YOUR WORDS.
WHAT'S WRONG?

- IN MY HEAD,
IT'S A MUSICAL.

- WHAT'S A MUSICAL?
- ALL OF THIS.

AND I DON'T MEAN ONE
OF THOSE STUPID MUSICALS

WHERE THEY JUST REDO
OLD SONGS.

- I HEAR THAT.

THAT STUFF DOES NOT BELONG
ON THE BOARDS.

- SO THAT'S YOUR NEW THING?

YOU'RE JUST GONNA SLING
AROUND STAGE TERMINOLOGY?

- YES.
- HIS TAP TEACHER GOT HIM

AN AUDITION FOR
SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARKING LOT,

BUT GET THIS--
IT'S NOT EVEN SHAKESPEARE.

- WE'RE DOING WALL-E.

- [as EVE]
EEEEVA.

- WOW, DISNEY IS REALLY
RUNNING OUT OF MOVIES

TO TURN INTO MUSICALS.

- I'M THINKING
A CLASSIC MUSICAL.

IT WOULD REALLY GET ME GOING

IF YOU COULD JUST
PERFORM A LITTLE FOR ME.

- PERFORM?
- NO.

NO, NO, NO.
TALK, TALK, TALK NOW.

- HEY, CARLTON, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GOING TO HELP.

DR. ADAIR SAID TO HANDLE HER
WITH KID GLOVES.

- UH, GUYS,

THIS MIGHT SOUND CRAZY, BUT
I THINK WE CAN PULL THIS OFF.

DOES ANYONE PLAY BASS?

OFFICER HAM AND EGGS.

GIVE ME A LITTLE, UH,
WALKING BASS LINE.

HUH? HUH?
- YEAH.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S NOT BUTTER!

- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- YOU WANT TO CATCH THIS GUY
OR NOT?

- [sighs]

- * YANG, YOU'RE SUCH
A PRETTY GIRL *

* AND SWEET GIRLS
LOVE TO SING *

* AND WHEN SWEET SIRENS

* LIFT THEIR VOICES

* THEY CAN TELL ME ANYTHING

- YEAH, LIKE, TELL ME
WHO THIS LOON'S GONNA WHACK

BEFORE I STRANGLE IT
OUT OF YOU.

- LASSIE, STOP IT.

FIRST OF ALL,
THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME.

SECONDLY, SHE HAS EVERY PIECE
OF THIS PUZZLE RIGHT HERE,

SO IN THE INTEREST
OF SAVING LIVES,

WHY DON'T WE PUT
IN A LITTLE TIME

AND A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT?

- I'M NOT GONNA DO THIS.

- YES, YOU ARE,
BECAUSE YOU CAN.

BECAUSE IT'S EASY.
WATCH THIS.

[playing laid-back music]

* WHEN YOU'RE MAKING UP
A SONG *

* THE WORDS YOU IMPROVISE
ARE NEVER WRONG *

* JUST JAM IN AS MANY SYLLABLES
AS YOU CAN BEFORE THE BREAK *

* YOU LITERALLY CANNOT
MAKE A MISTAKE *

- WELL?

- WELL, HAVEN'T I DONE ENOUGH?
- YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.

- MAYBE NOT YET.

* WHEN YOU'RE WORKING
A COLD CASE *

- NOT GONNA DO THIS.

- * AND WANT TO START

* WHERE WOULD BE
THE BEST PLACE? *

- NOT GONNA DO THIS.

- * WE CAN ASSUME THAT
Z WOULD LIKE TO KILL AGAIN *

* CAN YOU TELL US
WHERE TO BEGIN? *

- * YOU'LL FIND
IT MIGHT ATONE *

* FOR ALL THE THINGS
YOU'VE DONE *

* YOU'LL PAY A BIT
BACK TO SOCIETY *

* YOU'LL FINALLY BE FREE,
WELL, FIGURATIVELY *

- * WOULD THEY NAME
A PHARMACEUTICAL FOR ME? *

- * WE'LL SEE
- * IT COULD BE

- * NOT LIKELY

- * PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME
DO THIS *

OW!

- * WHEN YOU'RE MAKING UP
A TAP *

* YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU LIKE *

* EXCEPT FOR THAT

- * NO, YOU NEVER
NO, YOU NEVER CAN GO WRONG *

* NOW, NOW

both: * NOTHING CAN GO WRONG

- * WHEN YOU'RE MAKING UP
A SONG *

[smooches]

BIG MAN.

AH.

- NOW MAKE ME A BALLAD.

YES, WHERE MY TRUE LOVE
COMES OUT OF THE FOG

AND TAKES ME BY THE HAND.

- YANGER,
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.

YOU GOT TO GIVE US SOMETHING

AFTER ALL THE...
- ART.

- ART THAT WE JUST DRUMMED UP
FOR YOU.

- SHAWN?

YOU'RE THE GREATEST PSYCHIC
THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.

I COULDN'T JUST TELL YOU
THE ANSWER.

THAT WOULD BE CHEATING.

I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE
THAN I'VE ALREADY GIVEN.

- THAT'S IT.
- [sighs]

- GIGANTOR,
LOCK HER BACK UP.

I KNEW THIS WAS GOING
TO BE

A MONUMENTAL WASTE OF TIME.

- WAIT!

I WONDER WHAT'S UP THERE?

CHEEKY, CHEEKY.

Z WAS LIVING HERE.

- AT THE END,
HE COULDN'T LEAVE.

CHANGES, DAY AND NIGHT.

NOBODY KNEW
HE WAS SHACKING UP HERE.

HE WAS THE PHANTOM.

- BILLY ZANE.
- THE OTHER PHANTOM.

- THERE'S NO OTHER PHANTOM.

I'M SENSING HE'S BEEN HERE
RECENTLY.

- YOU ARE SO GOOD, SHAWN.

- [blows air]

WHERE IS MILES THORNTON?

- MILES THORNTON IS
THE SHOW'S PRODUCER.

WE'VE GOT A HOME AND
A CURRENT WORK ADDRESS FOR HIM,

THE CALIFORNIA THEATER.

YOU TWO, HIT THE THEATER.

I'LL TAKE MR. T
AND CRACKER JACKS

BACK TO THE LOONY BIN.
WE'LL HIT THE HOUSE.

- AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO HURRY.

- MILES?

- IF YOU SEE HIM,
TELL ME FIRST.

I PRAY HE'S NOT
ON ANOTHER BENDER.

- HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC?

- HIGHLY FUNCTIONING, YES.

YOU KNOW, I AM TRYING TO LAUNCH
A SHOW AND A VENUE HERE,

AND I'VE GOT A PRODUCER WHO
SUDDENLY CAN'T KEEP IT TOGETHER.

- YOU OWN THIS PLACE?

- I RESTORED IT MYSELF.

- OH, SO YOU'RE SAYING
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR NEW TALENT?

FROM THE LOCAL POOL PERHAPS?

- NO, HE'S NOT EVEN
SORT OF SAYING THAT.

- IT WAS IMPLIED, SHAWN.
HE'S LAUNCHING A NEW SHOW.

I'M UP FOR A ROLE
IN ANOTHER PRODUCTION.

- TO PLAY A MUTE CARTOON ROBOT.

- I WOULD PLAY BURN-E,

A SMALL BUT PIVOTAL ROLE

WHERE I CHANGE A LIGHT BULB
OUTSIDE OF A SPACE SHIP.

- AND THAT AUDITION
WAS A MONTH AGO.

THEY'RE NOT CALLING YOU BACK.
- YOU DON'T KNOW.

- WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS
FOR YOU.

- LIKE, HAVE ALL THE ROLES
BEEN CAST?

- THIS IS SAD.

- WE PREVIEW TOMORROW.

- REALLY?

- I KNOW WHY Z ESCAPED.

YOU'RE RESURRECTING RIPPER!

- WAIT, YOU'RE SAYING THAT
ZACHARY ZANDER IS OUT?

- YES, AND YOU IDIOTS
ARE DOING HIS PLAY.

- NO, WE'RE DOING
A JACK THE RIPPER STORY.

- WHICH IS HIS PLAY.
- NO.

[laughs]
Z'S VERSION WAS CRAZY.

WE'RE USING MILES'S
SET DESIGN,

AND THE DIRECTOR, BEN,
WROTE THIS NEW SCRIPT.

IT'S A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT SHOW.

- SURELY YOU CAN UNDERSTAND

HOW A CRAZY MAN MIGHT FIND
ALL THIS JUST A BIT UPSETTING.

- LISTEN, FIRST TIME I STEPPED
FOOT INTO THIS BEAUTIFUL CITY,

THE RIPPER! FIRE
WAS THE HEADLINE.

IT WAS TRAGIC,
BUT THEN I GOT TO KNOW MORE,

AND I THOUGHT, WELL, THE CONCEPT
FOR THIS SHOW IS INCREDIBLE.

IT DESERVES TO BE PUT ON.

- HE'S RIGHT.
THIS IS GOOD.

- GIVE ME THAT.

- QUESTION.
- UH-HUH.

- THIS INSPECTOR CHARACTER--

DO YOU THINK HE COULD BE,
MM...

[Jamaican accent]
A JAMAICAN?

- IF I WANTED TO LOSE
ALL MY MONEY, YES.

- WOW, THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.

THIS SONG TOTALLY RHYMES.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK
THIS INSPECTOR

SHOULD HAVE A FULL HEAD
OF SWEET HAIR

AND A REASONABLE-SIZED
FOREHEAD?

I'M READING THAT.
- STOP.

- GIVE IT TO ME.
GIVE IT TO ME.

GIVE IT, GIVE IT,
GIVE IT,

GIVE IT. GIVE IT.

- THAT'S MY SCRIPT.

DO YOU HAVE A SEC?

- OF COURSE, JANET.
- AUDRA.

- DAMN IT.
[clears throat]

YOU KNOW, I WANT TO BE
AS SENSITIVE

AS A BUSINESSMAN CAN BE.

THESE PEOPLE UP HERE,
THEY'VE WORK TOO HARD

TO SEE ALL OF THEIR EFFORTS
DESTROYED

BY ONE DERANGED INDIVIDUAL.

RAIN CHECK.

- IT WAS THE VICTIM'S HOUSE.

YOU CAN'T USE THE HIDE-A-KEY.

- THE PLACE WAS A MESS,
AND NEXT OF KIN

ARE NOTORIOUSLY UNMOTIVATED
WHEN IT COMES TO ACCESS.

- HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU LATELY?

YOU'VE BEEN A SOURPUSS
THIS WHOLE CASE.

- SEE, THAT JUST GOES
TO SHOW HOW WELL

YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION.

I'M ALWAYS LIKE THIS.

DAMN IT!
I ASKED FOR PHONE RECORDS.

HOW DIFFICULT IS THAT?

OH.

I HAD TICKETS.

- WHAT?

- TICKETS TO OPENING NIGHT
OF THE RIPPER! SEVEN YEARS AGO.

VICTORIA REALLY WANTED
TO SEE IT,

AND WE WERE POSSIBLY GONNA
RECONCILE, AND THEN...

- AND THEN SOMEONE DIED
AND THE PLACE BURNED DOWN?

- YEAH.

SHE'S NOT THE MOST UNDERSTANDING
OF PEOPLE.

- UNLIKE YOU.
- EXACTLY.

SO I TOLD HER I THOUGHT

SHE WAS BEING
A LITTLE CALLOUS,

THEN SHE TOLD ME
WHAT SHE THOUGHT.

THEN OUR MARRIAGE WAS OVER.

- CARLTON,
YOU'RE WITH MARLOWE NOW.

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

- I THOUGHT I WAS HAPPY
THEN TOO.

AND THEN A PLAY
GETS CANCELLED.

- BECAUSE SOMEONE DIED.

- YEP, AND YOU SPEND
THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS ALONE.

- CARLTON,
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

RELATIONSHIPS DON'T ALWAYS
HAVE TO BE THAT FRAGILE.

I MEAN, I BELIEVE THAT--

- THORNTON WAS GETTING
PHONE CALLS EVERY HALF AN HOUR

THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT
SINCE THE MOMENT Z ESCAPED.

WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHERE
THESE PHONE CALLS CAME FROM.

HEY, GOOD TALK.

- Z BROKE OUT
OF THE ASYLUM BY HIMSELF.

- YES, BUT DON'T WORRY.

WE'RE GONNA BRING THIS MADMAN
TO JUSTICE.

- ALL RIGHT, HE JUST
GOT A LITTLE LOST.

HE'S NOT A MADMAN.

- I THINK WE'LL GET
A DIFFERENT OPINION

FROM THE GUY HE ATTACKED
IN THE PARK.

- YOU'RE SAYING
Z ATTACKED SOMEONE?

- Z?
IS THIS TRUE?

- GUYS,
THIS IS CHRIS LAMBERTH.

HE'S BEEN WITH US
FOR BOTH PRODUCTIONS.

- LAMBERT?
LIKE THEHIGHLANDER?

- LAMBERTH WITH AN "H."

IT'S DIFFERENT.
- NOT REALLY.

- IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE
SAYING IT WITH A LISP.

- OR WITH A DUM DUM POP
IN YOUR MOUTH.

YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR NAME
IMMEDIATELY.

- IT'S LIKE CALLING YOURSELF
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMMIT.

- [in foreign accent]
BESIDES, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TWO?
- MY NAME IS SHAWN SPENCER.

THIS IS MY PARTNER,
KING MONGKUT.

- ET CETERA, ET CETERA.

- WE'RE TRACKING DOWN
A SERIAL KILLER

THAT'S PROBABLY PRETTY ANGRY

THAT YOU'RE DOING A NEW VERSION
OF THE SHOW HE KILLED FOR.

- AND MAYBE AUDITION
FOR THE SHOW.

HAS THE ROLE
OF THE INSPECTOR BEEN CAST?

- I AM THE INSPECTOR.

- SIR, CALM DOWN.

I'M JUST SAYING THE SHOW
SEEMS A LITTLE WHITE.

- YEAH.
- IT'S SET IN LONDON IN 1888.

- SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

BLACK PEOPLE HADN'T BEEN
INVENTED YET?

- GUS, RELAX.

IF A BLACK DUDE'S
GETTING CAST IN THIS SHOW,

I THINK WE BOTH KNOW

WHICH ONE OF US IT'LL BE.
- WHAT?

- THE FELLA WHO CAN SAY,
"HEY, HEY, OVER HERE.

HEY, THAT'S QUITE
ENOUGH OF THAT THERE...

RIPPER."

- SHOULD WE BE WORRIED?
- PROBABLY, YES.

GOOD NEWS FOR YOU IS

WE'RE PRETTY SURE
HE'S GOING AFTER

THE PRODUCER,
MILES THORNTON, FIRST.

OF COURSE, NOBODY SEEMS
TO BE ABLE TO FIND THAT GUY.

- OH, WELL, I JUST SAW MILES
TWO MINUTES AGO.

HE WAS GOING UP THE CATWALK.

- NO KIDDING.

WE NEED TO TALK TO HIM
RIGHT AWAY.

- ARE YOU SURE IT CAN'T WAIT?
- [screaming]

[thud]

- AH, TELL HIM IT CAN'T.

- A VISITOR.

[door closes]

WELL...HELLO.

- [laughs]
- WHOA.

THANK YOU,
ENORMOUS HUMAN BEING.

HOPEFULLY, YOUR HUSBAND HERE
DOESN'T MIND

YOU BEING IN THE SAME ROOM
WITH A NAKED MAN.

- OH, I'M NOT MARRIED.

- WELL, IN THAT CASE,
WHAT ABOUT TWO NAKED MEN?

- OOH.

- STRODE, SHE'S A KILLER.

- AGREE TO AGREE.

- COULD WE JUST HOP TO IT?

I BELIEVE THIS ONE'S
PRETTY CUT AND DRY.

- IT IS.

SUICIDE.
AM I RIGHT?

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THAT'S INSANE.

RELATIVELY SPEAKING.

- THE VICTIM MADE NO ATTEMPT
TO BREAK HIS FALL,

THE CATWALK RAILINGS WERE
TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE PUSHED,

AND EVERYONE IN THE BACKSTAGE
AREA SAW HIM GO UP ALONE.

YES, LONG-TERM ALCOHOL
AND ANTIDEPRESSANT ABUSE,

BUT WAS SOBER AS A JUDGE--
REINHOLD IMPERSONATOR--

[laughs]
WHEN THE FALL HAPPENED.

PLUS HE JUST--

JUST KIND OF
HAS A SAD FACE.

- WOODY,
A PATIENT ESCAPED

FROM A MENTAL INSTITUTION

AND LOOKED UP
THIS MAN'S NAME

RIGHT AFTER THIS MAN
RE-LAUNCHED A PLAY

THAT DROVE HIM TO KILL.

- WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT
LIKE THAT, YEAH,

ANYONE COULD LOOK GUILTY,
BUT THINK ABOUT THIS.

* OFTEN IT'S THE OPPOSITE

* OF WHAT YOU MIGHT EXPECT

* TRY TO THINK TOO LOGICAL

* YOU'RE USUALLY INCORRECT

* TRUST YOUR WIFE
HAS NEVER JOINED *

* A DARK RELIGIOUS SECT

* IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF THAT

* THE OPPOSITE OF THAT

I'M DIVORCED.
- STOP HITTING ON THE PRISONER.

- * HE WAS THREATENED
- * IMMATERIAL

- * HE WAS FRIGHTENED
- * INEXACT

- * YOU DON'T THINK
HE RAN UP THERE *

* BECAUSE HE'D BEEN ATTACKED?

- * TRY TO BE IRRATIONAL

* YOU'LL FREE YOUR HEAD
FROM PAINS *

* INANITY IS SANITY

* WHEN DEALING WITH REMAINS

* THINK YOUR WIFE WAS NOT

* WITH WHITE SOX SLUGGER
HAROLD BAINES *

- [gasps]
- * IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF THAT

* HE EVEN LEFT BEHIND
HIS BAT *

- WOULD YOU STOP BRINGING UP
YOUR CHEATING WIFE?

WE ALL KNOW
YOU'VE BEEN CUCKOLDED.

- YOU DO REALIZE THEY DON'T
PERSONALLY SIGN THOSE BATS?

- THE REAL QUESTION HERE IS WHO
STILL HAS A HAROLD BAINES BAT?

- LOOK, ALL WE ARE SIMPLY
TRYING TO DO IS

STOP PEOPLE
FROM GETTING KILLED.

Z LITERALLY WIPED
THIS GUY'S NAME OFF THE LIST.

- DO YOU HAVE A SEC?
- OF COURSE, JANET.

- AUDRA.
- DAMN IT.

- MM.

- DUDE, EVERY PERSON
ON THIS LIST IS BACK

FOR THE NEW SHOW
EXCEPT THE ACTRESS, ELISA.

THAT STRIPE DOESN'T STOP
AT MILES THORNTON'S NAME.

WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

- WHAT IF WE MISS
SOMETHING IMPORTANT?

- * OFTEN IT'S THE OPPOSITE

* OF WHAT YOU MIGHT ASSUME

* THINK YOU'RE TOO FULL
FOR JELL-O *

* I CAN PROVE
THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM *

* FIND YOUR WIFE
HOT-TUBBING *

* WITH A CABBIE
FROM KHARTOUM *

* IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF THAT

* HOW DO YOU SLEEP, MATAK?

* IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF THAT

* IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF

* THAT

* THAT

- [smooches]

- I THINK WE'RE SAFE.

- HEY, MAN,
TAKE THIS FILE.

TAKE IT.

- HELLO, ELISA,
MY NAME IS SHAWN SPENCER.

THIS IS MY PARTNER,
GIGI VAN TRANH.

- VAN TRENH.
- I'VE HEARD IT BOTH WAYS.

- YOU NEVER EVEN SAW THE SHOW.
- WHAT SHOW?

- WHO'S THAT?

- THAT'S YANG.
- SHE'S A SERIAL KILLER.

- IS THIS SAFE?
- PROBABLY NOT.

- ELISA,
A MAN NAMED Z ESCAPED

FROM A MENTAL FACILITY
LAST NIGHT.

- I KNOW.
- WAIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW?

- HE CALLED ME LAST NIGHT.

- WHAT DID HE SAY?
- NOT A WORD.

- SO HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WAS HIM THEN?

- HE WAS PLAYING PIANO.

HIS PLAYING IS
MORE DISTINCT THAN A VOICE.

- LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

A SERIAL KILLER
GIVES YOU A BUZZ,

PLAYS SOME CREEPY TUNES,

AND THIS DOESN'T CONCERN
YOU AT ALL?

- IT WAS MY SONG.
- [gasps]

HE WROTE YOU A SONG?

WHAT WAS IT LIKE?

WAS IT A BALLAD?
COULD YOU HUM IT?

- NOT REALLY MINE ORIGINALLY.

IT WAS HIS FIRST SONG.

HE USED TO CHANGE THE LYRICS
FOR ME WHEN I WAS FEELING DOWN.

- AWW.

- * DON'T FEEL BAD,
I HAVE A SANDWICH HERE *

* IT'S MADE
WITH FRESH ORGANIC TURKEY *

- THOSE ARE THE WORDS?
- I WAS PARAPHRASING.

- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, LADY.

MILES THORNTON IS DEAD,

AND Z'S GOT YOU ON SPEED DIAL.

SO I'M GONNA PUT AN OFFICER

OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE HERE
UNTIL WE FIND THIS GUY.

- IT'S NOT NECESSARY.

- TRUST US.
- QUESTION IN THE BACK.

ALL THE OTHER MAJOR PLAYERS
ARE DOING THE NEW SHOW.

WHY DIDN'T YOU GET THE INVITE?

- THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE
WAS TRAGIC.

SOME OF US HAD TROUBLE
GETTING OUT.

- THAT'S TOUGH, BUT YOU
DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.

- I DON'T THINK
I WAS RIGHT FOR IT ANYMORE.

- COOL.

- SO HERE'S SOMETHING
INTERESTING.

MIDNIGHT IN WHITECHAPEL.

- HMM?
WHAT'S THAT?

- IT'S
THE NEW JACK THE RIPPERSHOW,

AND IT'S EXPECTED
TO DO VERY WELL.

- WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?

- WELL, THERE ARE NEGOTIATIONS
TO GO TO NEW YORK.

- OH, LIKE, OFF-BROADWAY?

- NO, LIKE ON BROADWAY.
- REALLY?

- DUDE, YOU WERE JUST HUMMING
A TEVIN CAMPBELL MEDLEY.

HOW DID YOU EVEN HEAR THAT?
- WAIT A MINUTE.

SO THE FIRST PRODUCTION
OF RIPPER!

WAS GONNA BE DEAD UPON ARRIVAL

BEFORE EVEN GETTING ONE
PERFORMANCE OFF THE GROUND.

AND NOW Z'S
OUT OF THE PICTURE,

AND THIS NEW SHOW'S
ABOUT TO BE

ON THE CUSP
OF A FINANCIAL WINDFALL?

- YEAH,
AND THE ENTIRE CREATIVE TEAM

IS GOING TO MAKE A MINT.

- HO, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

ELISA'S ON THIS LIST.

- WHY DIDN'T SHE MENTION THAT?

[line ringing]

- MCNAB, I NEED YOU
TO ASK TWO-FACE A QUESTION.

- OH, MY GOD.

- SORRY.
INSENSITIVE.

PLEASE ASK ELISA
WHY SHE FAILED TO REVEAL

A DAMNING PIECE OF EVIDENCE,

THE MAIN REASON THAT Z
MIGHT WANT TO KILL HER.

- UM, DETECTIVE,
CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

YEAH, I'M HEARING SOMETHING
IN THE WOODS,

AND I MAY HAVE
A SITUATION HERE.

- CRAP.

COME ON, WHACKADOO, LET'S GO.
- [screams]

[tires screeching]

- IT CAME FROM OVER THERE.

- I SEE HIM!

- SO HOW'S YOUR MOM?

- [grunting]

- WE GOT HIM!

- NICE WORK, MCNAB.

- [panting]

- WHAT THE HELL?

- HOLY CRAP, GUS.

THERE'S TWO OF 'EM.

- I'M SORRY.

HE LET ME LOOSE
AND TOLD ME TO RUN.

I-I DID WHAT HE SAID.

- CRAP.

- ELISA!

- OPEN UP!
- ELISA!

- OPEN UP!
- WE GOTTA GET IN THERE, GUS.

- ELISA!

[both grunting]

- THIS IS SO MUCH HARDER
THAN IT LOOKS.

- OH, WHAT?
- I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

- WHAT KIND OF CANDY
DO YOU LIKE?

- [gasps]

- [screams]

THAT WAS ILL-ADVISED.

- THAT WAS HIM.
IT WAS Z.

- STAY HERE.
- ALL RIGHT.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT PLUTO?
THAT'S MESSED UP, RIGHT?

- * I HURT NO ONE,
THEY DECEIVE YOU *

- * COME WITH ME, Z

* I BELIEVE YOU

- SPENCER!

- [groans]
[thud]

AH.

- THIS IS OUR VICTIM
FROM THE PARK BENCH.

THAT S.O.B. USED HIM
AS A HUMAN DECOY.

- THAT S.O.B. JUST PUNCHED ME
SQUARE IN THE FACE.

- AH, I THINK WE HAVE
BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN THAT.

UH, WHERE'S YANG?

narrator:
"ONCE UPON A TIME--"

UH, SERIOUSLY?
WOW.

[clears throat]

"A DARK AND TWISTED MAN

"ESCAPED THE CONFINES
OF AN EERIE ASYLUM

"TO WREAK HAVOC UPON THOSE
WHO CARRIED ON HIS LIFE'S WORK

"WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE.

VICTIMS WERE PI--"

THAT'S A LITTLE GRAPHIC,
DON'T YOU THINK?

QUITE EASY TO IMPLY DEATH

WITHOUT SHOVING IT
DOWN ONE'S THROAT.

[clears throat]

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

"BUT OUR HERO BEGAN
TO DOUBT THE GUILT

"OF THE ONLY VILLAIN
HE IMAGINED,

"AND THUS BEGAN TO WONDER

"WHAT DO YOU DO

WHEN EVERYTHING YOU KNOW
IS WRONG?"

- WELL, NOT ONLY
DID WE MISS Z,

WE ALSO MANAGED TO LOSE
THE BIGGEST SERIAL KILLER

IN THE HISTORY
OF SANTA BARBARA.

WE HAVE A GUARD IN THE ICU
AND YANG ON THE LOOSE.

CONGRATULATIONS, ALL.
SOLID WORK.

I'M SORRY, MR. SPENCER.

ARE YOU UNINTERESTED
IN THIS CONVERSATION?

- NO. YES.
I MEAN, NO, I'M JUST--

UH--I'M WONDERING
WHY HE KILLED THE PRODUCER,

BUT NOT OUR LONER
IN THE PARK.

- HE WAS ACTUALLY
SORT OF KIND.

- HE KNOCKED YOU OUT
AND DRAGGED YOU TO HIS CAR.

- RIGHT, HE NEEDED
A VEHICLE FOR HIS ESCAPE,

BUT HE COULD HAVE JUST
TAKEN YOUR KEYS

AND KILLED YOU RIGHT THERE.

- NO, HE WAS HANGING
ONTO THE PATHETIC BASTARD

UNTIL HE NEEDED HIM
AS A HUMAN DECOY.

- I'M RIGHT HERE.
- OH, COME ON.

THERE'S NO WAY Z
COULD HAVE POSSIBLY

PLANNED THAT FAR AHEAD.

HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN
WE WOULD HAVE HAD

SOMEBODY STATIONED OUTSIDE
THAT HOUSE.

IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT.

SPEAKING OF THINGS
THAT DON'T FEEL RIGHT,

WHY EXACTLY IS MCNAB
NO LONGER GUARDING

THAT WOMAN'S DOOR?

- SHE'S REFUSED OUR HELP.

APPARENTLY,
SHE FEELS LESS SAFE WITH US.

- THAT'S ROUGH FOR THE GROUP.

BUT IN OUR DEFENSE,

IT IS VERY DIFFICULT
TO BREAK DOWN A DOOR, CHIEF.

IT'S NOT LIKE IT LOOKS ON TV.

- THAT WAS SOLID OAK.

I'M PRETTY SURE
I DISLOCATED MY SHOULDER.

- YOU DIDN'T DISLOCATE ANYTHING.
- YES, I DID, SHAWN.

IF IT WASN'T FOR
MY OVERDEVELOPED LATS,

I'D BE IN A SLING
RIGHT NOW.

- YOU DON'T HAVE
OVERDEVELOPED LATS.

YOU OWN THE SLING.

IT WAS NEVER GIVEN TO YOU
BY A PHYSICIAN.

- YOU DON'T NEED A PRESCRIPTION
FOR A SLING, SHAWN.

- GUYS, I THINK
THIS PROVES MY POINT.

EVEN THE VICTIM
WASN'T SCARED OF THIS GUY.

IT'S MADE ME RETHINK
EVERYTHING

I THOUGHT I KNEW ABOUT Z,

WHICH WASN'T A WHOLE LOT
TO BEGIN WITH.

- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

- I'M SAYING I DON'T THINK
Z DID THIS.

- WOW.

[Skype tone]

- MR. SPENCER.

- I'M SORRY, CHIEF.
PLEASE CONTINUE.

- OKAY,

SO, NEEDLESS TO SAY,
THIS IS A DISASTER,

SO WE PUT ALL THE RESOURCES
THAT WE HAVE

IN FINDING BOTH OF--

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M SAYING THIS--

OF OUR ESCAPED PATIENTS.

SO WE ARE GONNA DO WHATEVER
IT TAKES TO FIND THEM.

- SHAWN, I AM MAKING
MY FIRST SKYPE CALL EVER.

- YANG, YOU GET BACK HERE
RIGHT NOW.

- NO, I'M SORRY, SHAWN.
I JUST CAN'T DO THAT.

I DON'T THINK I WAS EVER
MEANT FOR THAT HOSPITAL.

- OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,
YOU KNOW

THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE
OF TRUE,

AND I STILL NEED YOUR HELP
IN A BIG, BIG WAY.

- WELL, YOU KNOW YOU CAN
ASK ME ANYTHING.

- OKAY.
IS Z INNOCENT?

IS THAT WHAT THIS WHOLE THING
IS ABOUT?

- NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU NEED TO DO

FOR THOSE KINDS
OF INQUIRIES.

- YANG, I CAN'T--I CAN'T
MAKE UP SHOWTUNES FOR YOU

IN THE MIDDLE OF
A POLICE BRIEFING, OKAY?

- FINE, THEN WE HAVE NOTHING
TO TALK ABOUT.

PERHAPS LATER I WILL
CALL YOU...MAYBE.

- WHOA, WHOA--WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

HOLD ON.

- OKAY, WE'VE COMPILED
A FULL PROFILE ON Z

BASED ON BOTH
THE 2005 COURT DOCUMENTS

ALONG WITH NEW ANALYSIS
PROVIDED BY DR. ADAIR

AND THE STAFF AT WILLOWBROOKE
PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL.

OF NOTE IN THESE REPORTS
IS A CONSISTENT BELIEF

THAT ZANDER WAS MAKING
TREMENDOUS PROGRESS

UP UNTIL RECENTLY.

- * LA

- MM...

NO, I DON'T MEAN TO BE
HYPERCRITICAL, SHAWN,

BUT REALLY,
THIS FEELS A LITTLE BIT SPARE.

HAVE YOU WORKED ON
MY BALLAD?

- NO, YANG, I'M--
[sighs]

I'M NOT WORKING ON A BALLAD,
OKAY?

I'M NOT GONNA WRITE YOU
A LOVE SONG

WHERE YOUR TRUE LOVE COMES
THROUGH THE CLOUDS

AND--AND TAKES YOUR HAND

WHILE WEARING
A GIANT WHITE, FURRY ROBE.

LET US CATCH Z, AND THEN HE
CAN WRITE IT FOR YOU, RIGHT?

AND THEN THERE WON'T BE
A THIRD MURDER.

- UH, FIRST OF ALL, IF THIS
IS THE KIND OF NEGATIVITY

WE'RE GONNA GO FOR,
THEN YOU KNOW...

[snaps fingers]
GOOD-BYE.

- NO, IT'S NOT.

YOU SIT TIGHT.

I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

- OKAY, ALL SHIFTS
NOT ON OVERTIME

NOW HAVE EXTENDED HOURS
WITH THE FULL COOPERATION

OF THE HOSPITAL.

AND DOBSON,
PLEASE FIND OUT HOW EARLY

I CAN RETIRE
AND STILL GET BENEFITS.

[brassy vaudeville music]

*

OH, WHAT THE HELL?

- GUS,

YOU ARE GONNA ROCK IT
AS WALL-E.

- BURN-E.

- YOU'RE GONNA ANSWER
MY QUESTION OR WHAT?

- THOSE ARE THE TYPES
OF QUESTIONS

THAT NEED TO BE PONDERED

UNDER A STEINLEN
IN GOOD OLD RED 71.

- WHAT'S RED 71?

[Skype beeps]

DAMN IT.

- IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S BEEN
TO THAT MANY PLACES.

- I WISH I COULD NOT BLOW HER UP
ALL OVER AGAIN.

- THIS IS TRUE.

- WELL, THIS IS 71.

YOU GUYS SURE DOC ADAIR
IS ALL RIGHT WITH THIS?

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

- YOU'RE THE GUY
WHO LOST YANG.

- WOW, THIS Z GUY
REALLY LIKES HIMSELF.

- IT'S WEIRD THAT HE HAS
SO MUCH SELF-ESTEEM.

- THOSE ARE THE TYPES
OF QUESTIONS

THAT NEED TO BE PONDERED
UNDER A STEINLEN

IN GOOD OLD RED 71.

- AND NOW,
IF YOU DON'T MIND,

I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING INCREDIBLE.

- ME HAVING TO MAKE THE BED?

[unzipping]

HA HA!

GIVE IT UP, SON.

- ALL I SEE IS MORE CRAP
I GOT TO CLEAN UP.

- THESE ARE ALL
ADDRESSED TO ELISA.

- YEP, THEY'RE ALL STAMPED,
NEVER SENT.

- IT'S A GOOD WASTE OF STAMPS
IS WHAT IT IS.

- GUS, Z COULD
REALLY TURN A PHRASE.

IT'S LIKE THE NOTEBOOK.

- YEAH, SWEET, ELOQUENT,
WELL-WRITTEN.

CHECK THIS OUT.

- WHAT?

- DUDE, HE HAD A THING
FOR THE ACTRESS.

- UNREQUITED.

HE NEVER TOLD HER.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

- IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE.

- LET ME SEE.

WOW.
- THIS IS MARVELOUS.

[cell phone rings]

JULES.

- SHAWN,
YOU NEED TO GET DOWN HERE.

- THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
GOING ON HERE, JULES.

WE FOUND Z'S LETTERS.

- AND THEY'RE REALLY,
REALLY GOOD.

I'M SURPRISED HIS WRITING
DIDN'T TRANSLATE

TO THE THEATER BETTER.
- THAT'S TRUE.

THE RIPPER! SCRIPT DIDN'T DO HIM
ANY JUSTICE AT ALL.

- WE'RE DEALING WITH SOMEBODY
VERY CALCULATED HERE.

WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE
LET ELISA REFUSE PROTECTION.

- NO, JULES,
HERE'S THE KICKER,

ELISA HAS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING TO FEAR.

- SOUND THEORY, SPENCER.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

EVERYTHING POINTS
THE OTHER WAY.

* THE EVIDENCE
IS UNDERWHELMING *

OH, WAIT, IT'S NOT.

* THE FACTS ARE FALLING
INTO PLACE *

* THE ONLY THING
THAT'S SATISFYING *

* IS THAT THE SMIRK
IS OFF YOUR FACE *

HUH.
NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE.

YOU'RE A GOOD-LOOKING MAN
WHEN YOU'RE HUMBLED.

- IT WASN'T Z.

I'M TELLING YOU,

THERE'S ANOTHER KILLER
OUT THERE.

- CARLTON, WHAT IF--

- WHAT IF WHAT?

- WHAT IF THE GUY
WE'RE CHASING

ISN'T THE ONE
ON THE MURDER SPREE?

- O'HARA,
THE EVIDENCE IS PILING UP

AGAINST THIS TOOTSIE ROLL,

AND NOW YOU WANT
TO CHANGE COURSE?

- I KNOW, BUT--
- BUT WHAT?

SPENCER THINKS SO,
SO NOW YOU DO TOO?

- * WELL, I TRUST
WITH MY HEART *

* AND I CAN'T AVOID BELIEVING

* ALTHOUGH FACTS
ARE A START *

* MAYBE LOOKS
CAN BE DECEIVING *

- * LET ME STOP YOU
RIGHT THERE *

* BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT
TO HEAR IT *

- * MAYBE DEEP DOWN INSIDE

* IT'S BECAUSE
YOU REALLY FEAR IT *

- NO.

- * IT'S HOW I RATIONALIZE

* UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

- * YOU TWO

* LET OUR BIGGEST KILLER
GET AWAY *

* AFTER JUST ONE DAY

* DO YOU

both: * YES, WE DO

- * THINK WE COULD FIND
HER HIDING PLACE *

* JUST IN CASE

* SHE EATS SOMEONE'S FACE?

- IF WE FIND Z,
WE'LL FIND YANG.

* LET'S REVIEW
HOW WE DO *

* A TRIED
AND TRUE INVESTIGATION *

* FINDING FACTS,
NOT JUST SNACKS *

* AND RANDOM PROGNOSTICATION

* TRACING STEPS,
TYING ENDS *

* TILL THERE'S NOWHERE
LEFT TO RUN *

* LOADING CLIPS,
TAKING AIM *

- * YOU'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT GUNS *

- * SO I CATCH THEIR LIES

* THEN I SHOOT THESE GUYS

* RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES

- * TELL ME THOSE ARE LIES

- * UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

- * UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

- * UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

all:
* UNDER SANTA BARBARA SKIES

- FEEL THIS, O'HARA.

THE ACTRESS'S PHONE PINGED
A CELL PHONE TOWER DOWNTOWN,

WHICH PUTS HER IN THAT VICINITY
WITHIN TWO HOURS OF HER DEATH.

TEN MINUTES LATER,
WE PICK HER UP AGAIN,

WHICH PUTS HER GOING...

MCNAB!

PULL THE FOOTAGE FROM OUTSIDE
THE CALIFORNIA THEATER.

- YOU THINK ELISA WAS KILLED
AT THE THEATER?

- JUST DO IT.

GO TO 2:20.

2:25.

STOP.

NOW WE KNOW WHERE
SHE MADE HER LAST STOP.

EVIDENCE, O'HARA,
SOMETIMES COMES IN HANDY.

- I TOLD YOU
WE DIDN'T NEED A KEY.

- THIS ISN'T RIGHT, SHAWN.
NOPE.

KEY OR NO KEY.

- GUS, WE ARE
ON AN ISLAND RIGHT NOW

'CAUSE HE DIDN'T KILL HER
AND YOU KNOW IT.

- NO, I DON'T.

YOU CAN'T DECIDE
SOMEONE'S INNOCENT

BASED ON A LOOK
IN THEIR EYES.

- MAN,
YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT LOOKS.

- [scoffs]

- LET IT GO, GUS.

- I'M A POKER MAN, SHAWN.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.

- I KNOW TELLS
AND I KNOW FACES.

- DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

- LOOKS, SHAWN.
I'M TALKING ABOUT LOOKS.

- DUDE,
THIS IS ADDRESSED TO Z.

- WHO IS IT FROM?

- THERE'S NO RETURN ADDRESS.

- THIS DUDE HAS
A STRANGE RELATIONSHIP

WITH THE POSTAL SERVICE.

WHAT'S IN IT?

- NOTHING.
NOT ANYMORE.

WHATEVER IT IS,
MAYBE IT'S STILL LYING AROUND.

BOTTOM LINE, Z BROUGHT IT
TO THE HOUSE,

ELISA FINDS IT,

AND WHATEVER SHE DOES WITH IT
MAKES HER DEAD.

- DUDE.

- OOH.

- Z'S SCRIPT IS TERRIBLE.

THE RIPPERWAS A GOOD GUY.

THE NEW VERSION
IS WAY BETTER.

MY CHARACTER
IS SO MUCH MORE DEFINED.

- GUS, YOU ARE NOT
GOING TO BE IN THE PLAY.

- REALLY?
WHAT ABOUT WHEN THEY HEAR THIS?

* JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN

* STRAIGHT FROM KINGSTON
TO LONDON TOWN *

- STOP IT.

CLEARLY, SHE GOT THIS BOX OUT
FOR A REASON.

- THE FIRST TIME
I STEPPED FOOT

IN THIS BEAUTIFUL TOWN,

THE RIPPER! FIRE
WAS THE HEADLINE.

- ARMITAGE.
- WHO?

- THE OWNER
OF THE CALIFORNIA THEATER.

HE LIED, GUS.

HE WAS THERE
THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE.

- SHAWN, WE NEED TO GET DOWN
TO THAT THEATER NOW.

- COINKYDINK!

KILLER'S HERE.

- YEAH, WELL, THIS IS
WHERE ELISA WAS MURDERED.

WELCOME BACK TO THE TEAM.

- UH, GUYS.

- GUS, COME ON.

- CHRISTOPHER "THERE
CAN ONLY BE ONE" LAMBERTH.

- YOU WERE AT THE PLAYHOUSE
THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE.

- I WAS IN COSTUME
FOR REHEARSAL.

IT WAS DIFFICULT TO SEE ANYTHING
THROUGH THE MASK.

- WAS ROLAND ARMITAGE THERE?

- AH, MAN, PLEASE DON'T
MAKE ME ANSWER THAT.

[stammers]
WELL, HE AND ELISA WERE BOTH--

YOU KNOW.
[clears throat]

both: AHA.

- THAT WAS AMAZING.
DID YOU--

DID YOU REHEARSE
THAT OR--

- WE JUST SOLVED THE CRIME.

- CAN'T BELIEVE WE ACTUALLY
AGREE ON SOMETHING.

- OH, YOU AGREED
ON SOMETHING.

both: THE FIRE
WAS STARTED BY...

- Z.
- THE OWNER.

- WHAT?
- Z? WHAT?

YOU'RE STILL ON Z?

- I WAS NEVER OFF OF Z.

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE GIRL.

- HERE I WAS THINKING
YOU WERE SHARP AS A TACK.

- THINKING.
THAT'S FUNNY.

I LOVE HOW YOU SAID
YOU'RE THINKING.

- * HE LOVED HER
- * REVENGE

- * BUT HE'S GENTLE
- * UNHINGED

* THE GIRL WAS LOOSER
THAN A CANNON *

- * THE OWNER HAD TO HAVE
A SHOW *

- * HE GOT PLAYED
LIKE KOFI ANNAN *

- * WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE
JUST LET IT GO *

both: * I'VE HEARD IT
BOTH WAYS *

- * THE KILLER IS THE VICTIM

- * I'VE HEARD IT
both: * BOTH WAYS

- * YOU SEE FACTS
AND CONTRADICT THEM *

- * I'M ALMOST NEVER WRONG

- * SO NOW IT'S ON

- * SHAWN, JUST TELL US
WHERE HE'S GONE *

- THEY USUALLY FIND HIM
IN THE BOWELS.

- YEAH,
I GUESS THAT COULD WORK.

- [laughs]

- LET'S ARREST HIM.

- ON WHAT GROUNDS?

- FOR STARTERS, HE'S
DOWN HERE WANDERING AROUND

ALL SNEAKY-LIKE.

- WITH THE ACTRESS
WHO REPLACED ELISA.

- WHAT WAS THAT?
- HMM?

- GIVE US ONE PIECE
OF EVIDENCE, SHAWN.

- ALL RIGHT, HE WAS HERE
THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE.

- AND YOU KNOW
WHO ELSE WAS HERE?

Z, THE GUY WHO DID IT.

- ALL RIGHT,
HOW ABOUT THIS?

HE'S DOWN HERE
UNDER THE THEATER IN AN AREA

THAT'S CLEARLY
NOT UP TO CODE.

- [giggles]

- HEY, ARMITAGE!
WE GOT YOU, MAN!

- [screams]

- YOU IDIOT!

- [panting]

[tires screeching]

- [grunts]

- SURPRISED?

- DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE US HERE,
DID YOU?

- HMM, YEAH,
THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT.

THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT, RIGHT?
- THAT'S RIGHT, SON.

NOW, LET'S GET DOWN
TO BRASS TACKS.

WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT

BEING IN NEW YORK
THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE?

WHY DID YOU RUN,

AND WHY WAS THERE
A CAR FOLLOWING YOU?

- AND WHY HAS NO ONE RESPONDED
TO THE HEAD SHOT

I LEFT IN BEN'S DRESSING ROOM?
- YEAH.

WAIT, WHAT?

- A SIMPLE "NO, THANK YOU"

WOULD HAVE BEEN COURTEOUS,
SHAWN.

- GUS, YOU KNOW THE SHOW
IS ALREADY CAST.

- PEOPLE GO DOWN
ALL THE TIME.

LARYNGITIS,
FLU, PIPES TO THE KNEES.

- I CAN'T DO THIS WITH YOU
RIGHT NOW.

ACTUALLY, I CAN DO THIS
WITH YOU.

PIPES TO THE KNEE?

- I'M NOT DOING THIS WITH YOU
RIGHT NOW.

- GEE, I WONDER WHY.

- YOUR FACE KNOWS WHY.

- YOUR SILENCE TELLS
THE WHOLE STORY, ARMITAGE.

- OKAY, NOW, OPEN.

PERFECT.
THANK YOU, MR. ARMITAGE.

I'LL RUN THIS AND HAVE
THE RESULTS FOR YOU SOON.

YOU CAN SPEAK NOW.

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?
- HEY, ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS.

- WELL, I LIED
ABOUT BEING IN NEW YORK

'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU TWO
WERE P.I.s.

- [laughs]
- WE ARE P.I.s.

- WORKING FOR MY WIFE.
- WHAT?

- YEAH, I THINK SHE'S BEEN
HAVING ME FOLLOWED,

AND I COULDN'T
LET ANYONE KNOW

THAT I WAS CARRYING ON
WITH ELISA.

AND I RAN TODAY BECAUSE
THAT GIRL I WAS WITH,

SHE AND I ARE--
YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.

- WOW.
YOU ARE A CRAPPY HUSBAND.

- [coughs]
UNDERSTATEMENT.

- IT'S AN ADDICTION.

- NO, NO, IT'S NOT.

YOU JUST DECIDE NOT
TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE.

- HE'S RIGHT.

IT'S A COP-OUT.
- YES, IT IS.

- YOUR INCREDIBLE SUCCESS RATE
WARRANTS MENTION.

- THANK YOU.
- SHAWN.

- SO DOES HIS HAIR.
THE CAT--CAT GETS HIS.

HE GETS HIS.

[tires screeching]

- DERANGED INDIVIDUAL.

RAIN CHECK.

- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

DOES YOUR WIFE
HAVE SHORT BLACK HAIR?

- YES, WHY?
- I THINK SHE'S ON TO YOU, PAL.

- WHAT?

- HEY, HO.

- OH, HEY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SPENCER?

APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

- AH, I'M STILL OFF Z.
- REALLY?

BECAUSE I'M WITH LASSIE
RIGHT NOW.

AND I MAY HAVE JUST BLOWN IT
WITH THE PLAY.

- HEY, THERE, POP.
GUESS WHAT?

I'M OFFICIALLY LIVING
MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

- WHY?

- BECAUSE I THINK LASSITER
MAY TURN OUT TO BE RIGHT.

- WELL, YOU KNOW
IT'S NOT UNPRECEDENTED

FOR THE COPS TO BE RIGHT
OCCASIONALLY.

- YEAH, I KNOW THAT,
BUT I SAW THIS GUY, DAD,

YOU KNOW, FACE-TO-FACE.

I LOOKED HIM
RIGHT IN THE EYES,

AND I DON'T THINK HE WAS GUILTY
THE FIRST TIME.

BUT EVERY TIME I WRANGLE
A NEW SUSPECT,

THEY EITHER TURN OUT
TO BE DEAD

OR A PHILANDERER
WITH GREAT HAIR

WHO SCORES
UNBELIEVABLE YOUNG ACTRESSES,

UNINHIBITED, AND CURIOUS,
AND COMFORTABLE

WITH THEIR OWN INSTRUMENTS.

AND ALL THE ROADS
LEAD RIGHT BACK TO Z AGAIN.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN STOP
TRYING TO SOLVE THIS CASE.

IF EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT
WAS WRONG, THEN ACCEPT THAT.

START OVER AGAIN.

GO BACK AND SOLVE
THE FIRST CASE.

- I DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT IT,
OKAY?

I JUST WANT TO BE RIGHT.

- LOOK, GO GET US A BEER,

AND LET'S DO THIS
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

- MAN.
- YEAH.

[Skype tone]

- HI, SHAWN.
- YANG, WHAT ARE YOU--

- DOESN'T FRESH AIR
BECOME ME?

- LOOK, I'M AT A LOSS HERE.
YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOMETHING.

- DID YOU CHECK THE ROOM?

- YES, I CHECKED THE ROOM.
I GOT THE LETTERS.

ALL OF THEM.

ONE A WEEK, EVERY WEEK,
BUT YANG,

THEY WERE NEVER SENT.

- WELL, YOU KNOW,
THE MAIL IS UNRELIABLE.

- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

- DAD, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET

SOME INFORMATION HERE, OKAY?
RELAX.

- HI, PAPA SPENCER.

- DO THE POLICE KNOW
THIS IS YOUR INFORMANT?

- ONE THING AT A TIME.

- YOU CANNOT CONSPIRE
WITH THIS WOMAN, SHAWN.

I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

- WELL, SHE'S ALL
I HAVE RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

- OH, THAT'S FUNNY
'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU HAD ME.

- BUT--
[Skype beeps]

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I CAN'T CALL HER BACK.

THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RUDE.

SHE DID KILL HER FATHER FOR ME.
DON'T YOU FORGET THAT.

- YOU HAVE
SOME SICK RELATIONSHIPS, KID.

- WELL, NONE OF 'EM ARE SICKER
THAN THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.

- HERE'S THE THING ABOUT
THE DISENFRANCHISED.

THEY'RE CREATURES OF HABIT.

THEY DON'T WANT TO FIND
NEW PLACES.

THEY'RE DOOMED TO DO THE SAME
THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

HERE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

[indistinct chatter]

- EXCUSE ME, BIG MAN.

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS GUY?

- NOPE.

- YOU SURE?
HE'S A REGULAR.

OR WAS A REGULAR.

- WHEN?
- SEVEN YEARS AGO.

- DUDE, STAFF TURNS OVER HERE
EVERY SIX MONTHS.

- FAIR ENOUGH.

- GET YOU SOMETHING?

- NO, I'M--

I'M GOOD.
- ALL RIGHT.

[playing somber
piano music]

*

YOU RECOGNIZE THAT GUY?

*

- SORRY ABOUT YOUR NOSE.

- YEAH, YOU AND ME BOTH.

- SO WHAT?
YOU'RE A COP?

- NO, NO, I'M A--
I'M A PSYCHIC.

I'M ALSO WRITING A BOOK

CALLED CRIME FIGHTING
FOR THE TOTALLY UNQUALIFIED.

I'M ON PAGE THREE.
I SHOULD BE DONE BY FRIDAY.

YOU'RE VERY TALENTED.

- IT'S THE FIRST THING
I EVER WROTE.

- YOU USED TO PLAY THAT
FOR ELISA?

I'VE SEEN YOUR LETTERS, MAN.

- DID ELISA SHOW THEM TO YOU?

- NO, SHE NEVER GOT 'EM.

Z, ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?

'CAUSE, TO BE HONEST,
I THINK I'M THE ONLY ONE

AROUND HERE WHO DOUBTS

THAT YOU'RE OUT THERE
KILLING EVERYBODY.

- I'M CLEAR.

CLEARER THAN EVER.

SEE, IN THE HOSPITAL,
YOU--YOU FIGURE THINGS OUT,

AND I KNOW NOW
WHY MY HEAD HURT.

AND I KNOW THE CAPABILITIES
OF HUMANITY,

AND THAT'S GIVEN ME CLARITY.

- GREAT.
PLEASE, DO TELL.

- NO, I'M DONE WITH THAT.

SEE, I TRY TO TELL PEOPLE,

BUT THEY STOP LISTENING
ONCE YOU'RE LABELED.

- I CAN STILL HELP YOU, MAN.

I'M GONNA
FIND ELISA'S KILLER.

- OH, I KNOW
WHO KILLED HER.

- YOU DO?

WELL, IN THE INTEREST OF TIME
AND SOARING GAS PRICES,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST--

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AHEAD
AND TELL ME?

- I CAN'T DO THAT.
- WHY NOT?

- 'CAUSE THEN, I WOULDN'T
BE ABLE TO KILL THEM MYSELF.

- COME ON, MAN, YOU KNOW
I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

[clattering]
HEY!

- NO.
SO SEE, IT GOES LIKE THIS.

* JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN

* WE HAVE TO PARTY
LIKE IT'S 1888 *

* RIPPER, LEAVE
THEM PROSTITUTES ALONE *

- AND THIS GOES WHERE
IN THE SHOW?

- IT CAN GO ANYWHERE.

I GUESS IT COULD OPEN IT.

- YOU REALIZE THIS IS
A DARK AND SERIOUS TELLING

OF A SERIAL KILLER'S STORY?
- EXACTLY.

WHICH IS WHY THE AUDIENCE
WILL BE SO RELIEVED

WHEN HE COMES ON
TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD.

- OKAY, LET'S DO MIDNIGHT AGAIN
AND CALL IT A DAY.

[cell phone rings]
OKAY?

- HELLO.

WHAT?
Z CRUSHED YOU?

WITH A PIANO?

LIKE IN THE ROAD RUNNER?

YES, I'M COMING,
I'M JUST SAYING,

HOW FAST CAN A PIANO MOVE?

- GENTLEMEN,
HOW IS ALLOWING THIS

GONNA GET ME
MY PATIENT RETURNED?

- I'M TRYING TO FIGURE
THAT OUT, DOC.

DOES Z HAVE ANYTHING ELSE,
LIKE A LOCKER?

I DON'T KNOW SOMETHING HE--
SOMETHING HE CAME IN WITH?

- [sighs]
WE COULD GO TO HIS ROOM.

- WE ARE IN HIS ROOM.

- UH, NO, THIS IS ROOM 71.

THIS IS YANG'S ROOM.
- YANG?

- NO, THAT'S--
THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE.

I FOUND ALL Z'S LETTERS

STUFFED INTO THAT MATTRESS
RIGHT OVER THERE.

- ZACHARY WROTE LETTERS?

OH, I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE GIVEN YANG MAIL DUTY.

- OH, MY GOSH.

SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM.

- HE HAS THE SOUL OF A MONKEY

AND THE CUTICLES
OF AN AESTHETICIAN,

WHICH IS WHY I LOVE HIM SO.

- SHE WAS HIS CONFIDANT.

- SHE FELL FOR HIM.

- SHE HELPED HIM ESCAPE,

BUT THEN HE WENT
STRAIGHT TO THE ACTRESS.

- SO SHE HAD TO TAKE HER
OUT THE PICTURE.

[Skype tone]
- GUS, THIS IS NOT GOOD.

- NOPE.

- SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.
[phone ringing]

DOC, I'M GONNA HAVE
TO TAKE THIS.

[Skype beeps]

- YOU HUNG UP ON ME.

- MY DAD HUNG UP ON YOU.

IT DOESN'T MATTER
BECAUSE I KNOW WHO DID IT.

- WHO?
- YOU, YANG.

- SHAWN, IF YOU'RE
GOING TO ACCUSE ME,

AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY
TO SING IT.

- WILL YOU TELL
THE TRUTH IF WE DO?

- I SWEAR.

[indistinct whispering]

both: * YOU CAN BEND IT
AND SEND IT IN THE MAIL *

[muffled singing]

both: * MAIL

[door closes]

- YOU ARE GONNA
GET GUS COMMITTED.

- ME? WHY ME?

- HONESTLY, I'M STARTING
TO DOUBT YOUR GIFTS.

I LOST YOU, SHAWN, AND IF I
DON'T HAVE ANYBODY LEFT,

I'M LEAVING TOWN.

AND DON'T TRY TO
CONVINCE ME TO STAY

BECAUSE I'M REALLY OFFENDED.

[Skype beeps]
- [sighs]

GREAT, SHE'S DISAPPEARING.

- SHE COULD BE
IN SHANGHAI BY NOW.

- SHANGHAI? PLEASE.

SHE COULD BE ALL THE WAY
TO CHINA BY NOW.

- YOU HAD YOUR LITTLE DAY
OF FUN.

NOW LET'S GET TO WORK.

- I KNOW WHERE SHE IS.

SHE'S BEEN HERE
THE WHOLE TIME.

- I HALF EXPECTED HER
TO BE SLEEPING HERE.

- IN THE ROOM WHERE
THE CRITIC WAS MURDERED?

COME ON.

- THIS ROOM IS CREEPY AS HELL,
SHAWN.

IT'S NOT THAT FARFETCHED.

[crash]

- SHAWN, WE'RE NOT ALONE.

- WE SHOULD SPLIT UP.
- WHAT?

- YANG!

YANG, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

- SHE'S ALREADY GONE.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

- BECAUSE THIS PLACE
IS CREEPY,

AND WE NEED TO
GET OUT OF HERE.

- YANG!

- MAN.

[door creaks]

- [breathing heavily]

- I KNEW YOU'D COME.

- NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
THIS IS NOT A GAME.

- [laughs]
YOU ARE SO WRONG, SHAWN.

SING ME THIS ONE.

- NO MORE SONGS,
NO MORE GAMES.

I'M DONE.

I TRUSTED YOU.

I-I BELIEVED IN YOU.

- SHAWN,
YOU DISAPPOINT ME.

YEAH, Z WAS MY FRIEND.
HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING.

IF I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT
FOR YOU, I WILL.

HE FIGURED IT OUT IN GROUP.

YOU'RE LOSING IT, SHAWN!

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOU WERE FOLLOWED HERE.

- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

HOLY--OH, GOD.

AH!
- [gasps]

[grunting]

SHAWN!

- [growls]

- AHH!

- [coughing]

[both grunting]

- GUS.

- [groans]

[coughing]

- [grunting]

- [groans]

AH!

- UGH!

- [coughs]

OH.

YANG!

[coughing]

YANG, YANG,
I'M SORRY.

- IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
SHE'S FINE. SHE'S FINE.

- HERE'S SOMETHING STUPID.

I THINK I'M DYING.

- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE FINE.
YOU'RE FINE.

- UH, SHAWN, I BEG TO DIFFER.
- SHH. DON'T SAY THAT. SHUT UP.

JUST DON'T SAY THAT.
- AND I NEVER GOT MY SONG.

- GUS, SING HER A SONG.

- WHAT? WHY ME?

- GUS, I JUST GOT HANGED.
OR HUNG?

- UH...

* JAMAICAN,
JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN *

- NOT JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN.

- * YANG-Y YANG
BE BOP A DANG DANG *

- [laughs]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- NOTHING RHYMES WITH YANG.

- BANG. CLANG. MERINGUE.

- MERINGUE?
NOW I WANT STEAKS.

- STEAK?
YOU MEAN PIE.

YOU'RE THINKING PIE.

- NO, I MEAN STEAK.

I HAVE PIE
AFTER I HAVE STEAK.

- GUYS, I'M DRIFTING.

- NO, DON'T DRIFT.
STAY WITH US.

- WANG, WANG.

- WANG?

- WANG.
YEAH, I LIKE WANG.

- WHAT?
- LET ME REPHRASE THAT.

- [gasps]
LOOK, I SEE A LIGHT.

- DO YOU SEE
FIRE AND BRIMSTONE?

- YANG, DO NOT GO TOWARDS
THE LIGHT. STAY WITH ME.

STAY RIGHT HERE WITH ME
AND TELL US WHO THE KILLER IS.

- I CAN'T DO THAT.
THAT WOULD SPOIL THE ENDING.

Z'S GONNA FINISH IT
TONIGHT AT THE SHOW.

- YANG.

- IT'S GONNA BE SPECTACULAR.

[gasps]
OH, I SEE HIM.

[laughs]
HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

I SEE HIM.

- YOU SEE WHO?
YOU SEE Z OR--

- BEELZEBUB?
- MY ANGEL.

- ANGEL?
- YANG.

- MM-HMM.
- YANG?

[whispers]
YANG.

- * I'M HERE BESIDE YOU

* I'LL GUIDE YOU

* JUST EXTEND TO ME

* YOUR HAND

- * PLEASE TAKE ME

* TO THAT PROMISED LAND

- * PROMISED LAND
IS NOT THE TERM *

* FOR THE PLACE
YOU'LL LIKELY GO *

- * IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU THINK *

* I OUGHT TO KNOW?

- * HEAVEN'S GATE'S

* CONTINGENT ON BEHAVIOR

- * MAYBE YOU COULD CALL IN

* A SMALL FAVOR?

- * DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH

* THEY ARE STICKLERS
HERE IN DEATH *

- * BUT YOU'LL TRY?

- * SURE

* I KNOW A GUY

* WHO KNOWS ANOTHER

* GUY

- DUDE, Z IS COMING.

SHOULDN'T WE WARN SOMEONE?

- WHO ARE WE GONNA WARN?

THE PERSON HE'S TRYING TO KILL
IS THE MURDERER.

[whistles]

DUDE...
IT WAS LAMBERTH.

- THEHIGHLANDER?
- EXACTLY.

- SWEET.
THIS IS PERFECT.

- IT IS, ISN'T IT?

- THAT MEANS TECHNICALLY
HE'S NOT AVAILABLE

TO PLAY THE INSPECTOR.

- HEY, YOU NEED HELP.
- I KNOW.

DUDE, LET'S WAIT
FOR THE COPS.

- SINCE WHEN DO WE DO THAT?

IF WE WAIT,
IT'LL BE TOO LATE.

HELLO,HIGHLANDER.

- OH, FELLOWS,
I DON'T HAVE TIME.

I'M ON IN A FEW.
- IT'S FUNNY.

YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME
TO TRY AND KILL ME.

- WHAT?

- YOU PLAYED
JACK THE RIPPER

IN THE ORIGINAL PRODUCTION,
DIDN'T YOU?

AND IN THIS
CURRENT INCARNATION,

YOU'VE BEEN RELEGATED
TO THE MUCH SMALLER ROLE

OF THE INSPECTOR.

- WHICH COULD HAVE EASILY
BEEN PLAYED

BY A LOCAL BLACK ACTOR
REGARDLESS

OF THE RACIAL MAKEUP
OF 19TH-CENTURY LONDON.

- YOU TOOK OUT YOUR REVENGE
ON ELISA AND THE PRODUCER

AND ANYBODY ELSE
WHO HAD ANY KIND OF STAKE

IN THIS CURRENT PRODUCTION.
- YEP.

AND--
- AND THAT'S IT.

- NO, THERE'S MORE.
TELL HIM THE MORE.

- THERE'S NO MORE.
THAT'S IT.

- WHAT?

THAT IS THE FLIMSIEST THEORY

YOU'VE EVER COME UP WITH,
SHAWN.

- BY NO MEANS
THE FLIMSIEST THEORY THAT--

WHY ARE YOU WORKING AGAINST ME
ON THIS?

- THAT'S NOT A MOTIVE
FOR SOMEONE THAT KILLED SOMEONE.

- HE KILLED THE CRITIC
TO SAVE THE SHOW.

MAYBE HE THOUGHT HE DESERVED
TO BE REWARDED FOR THAT.

- IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
- IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE?

I SAW YOU PRACTICING
YOUR SPIN MOVE.

- BUT EVERYBODY IN THE PLAY
DOES THAT MOVE.

IT'S HOW YOU GET OFF A ROPE.

WE'RE TAUGHT THAT
ON THE FIRST DAY.

- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID.

AND I DON'T CARE, BUT I
CAN PROVE THAT YOU DID IT

BECAUSE YANG SLASHED
OUR ATTACKER

ACROSS THE CHEST RIGHT
BEFORE HE TURNED

AND STABBED HER TO DEATH.

NOW TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT.
- AND DO IT SLOWLY.

- YEAH, BUT NOT--

NOT BECAUSE WE'RE TITILLATED.
- NO.

- BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT
ANY FUNNY BUSINESS.

- RIGHT.

- LOOK,
THIS IS GETTING REALLY WEIRD.

- OH, IS IT?
- YEAH.

- I LOST A LOT OF OXYGEN
BECAUSE OF YOU

AND THE ONLY CLINICALLY
INSANE FRIEND

THAT I'VE EVER HAD.

NOW, TAKE OFF THAT SHIRT
OR I'LL DO IT FOR YOU.

GET--
- AH.

- LAMBERTH?

MAN.

GUS, TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT.
- WHAT?

I'M NOT TAKING OFF AN
UNCONSCIOUS GUY'S SHIRT, SHAWN.

- HE'S A KILLER.
- I DON'T CARE.

- OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

GAH.

CLEARLY, THIS IS EMBARRASSING
FOR BOTH OF US.

- FOR BOTH OF US?

- CHRIS, YOU'RE ON
IN TWO MINUTES.

- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, SHAWN?

- [exaggerated English accent]
HEY!

HEY!

THAT BE ENOUGH OF
THAT THERE, REAPER!

THAT'S RIGHT.

BACK TO WOLVERHAMPTON
WITH YOU, REAPER!

- IT'S THE FIRST THING
I EVER WROTE.

- YES, AND YOU IDIOTS
ARE DOING HIS PLAY.

- NO, WE'RE DOING
A JACK THE RIPPER STORY.

BEN, THE DIRECTOR,
WROTE THIS NEW VERSION.

IT'S A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT SHOW.

- I'VE HEARD TELL
THEY'VE SEEN HIM.

- SEEN WHO?
- THE RIPPER.

LEATHER APRON.

LURKING ABOUT
IN THE SHADOWS.

[cell phone rings]
- SHAWN, I'M ALMOST DONE.

WHERE ARE YOU?

- FIRST OF ALL, THE CORRECT
QUESTION IS WHEN AM I?

AND THE ANSWER
IS 1888, LONDON.

I BELIEVE THE EAST END.

- YOU ARE AT THE SHOW?

- YES, AND I KNOW
WHAT WAS IN THAT ENVELOPE.

A SCRIPT.
Z'S ORIGINAL SCRIPT.

HE MAILED IT TO HIMSELF
AND KEPT IT AT THE THEATER.

IT'S LIKE
A POOR MAN'S COPYRIGHT.

SO THEY RE-LAUNCHED THE SHOW
BASED ON HIS ORIGINAL SCRIPT

THAT THEY SCREWED UP
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

- WELL, I HAVE
EVERYTHING THEY BAGGED

FROM THE HOUSE RIGHT HERE.

- FIND ME A SCRIPT.
- UGH.

THEY ARE 25 SCRIPTS.

- LOOK FOR THE OLDEST ONE,

AND YOU BETTER HURRY
BECAUSE I FORGOT TO MENTION

Z'S COMING HERE TONIGHT
TO EXACT HIS REVENGE.

- WHAT?
UH, AH, LET'S SEE.

I GOT A 22ND DRAFT.

- MM, EARLIER.
- EARLIER.

OKAY, UH, A 16TH DRAFT,
2002.

- EARLIER, JULES.
- UH, OH, WAIT.

HERE'S SOMETHING DATED 1999.

THIS ONE WAS
FOUND UNDER A BOOKCASE.

- OH, MY, THAT'S IT.

AND I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

Z HASN'T KILLED ANYBODY...

YET.

[coughs]
GEE.

JULES, KEEP UP
'CAUSE THE KEY KEEPS CHANGING.

* YEARS OF DRAFTS

* NONSTOP REVISIONS

* LAID TO WASTE

* Z'S COMPOSITION

* UNAWARE
THEY HAD DESTROYED IT *

* TILL A MAN
CAME TO EXPLOIT IT *

- SHAWN,
WHY ARE YOU SINGING?

- * OVER-LEVERAGED
IN A PANIC *

* BEN AND THORNTON
KILLED THE CRITIC *

- * YOU CAN'T BE HERE

* YOU CAN'T DO THIS

- * WHEN A CRAZED MAN
POUNDS THE DOOR *

* OPEN UP AND DROP HIM
TO THE FLOOR *

* I THINK I PROVED
HOW DIFFICULT *

* IT REALLY IS TO KNOCK A DOOR
OFF ITS HINGE *

[coughs]

- IN THE HOSPITAL,
YOU FIGURE THINGS OUT,

AND I KNOW NOW
WHY MY HEAD HURT.

- * WITH TOO MUCH EVIDENCE
FOR HIDING *

* THEY LEFT HIM THERE
TO TAKE THE BLAME *

* THERE WAS ENOUGH THERE
FOR INDICTING *

* DECIDING THE ROOM
HAD TO GO UP INTO FLAME *

* AND WITH THAT,
WE KNOW WHY *

* HE WAS REALLY SUICIDAL

* WHEN Z LEARNED OF THE PLAY

* THEN HE HAD HIS REVELATION

* BUT THE SKEPTICS ABOUND
WHEN YOU'RE UNDER MEDICATION *

- THEY STOP LISTENING
ONCE YOU'RE LABELED.

- * SO HE PLANNED
HIS ESCAPE *

* TO RETRIEVE THE EVIDENCE

* THAT COULD SHOW
HE'S A VICTIM *

* AND PROVE HIS INNOCENCE

- HE GAVE IT TO ELISA
BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE

HE COULD TRUST.

- * SHE FOUND BEN
IT WAS THE END OF HER *

* HE HAD TO KILL
TO KEEP HER SILENT *

* THEN THERE'S ME,
I WAS THE OBSTACLE *

* THAT MADE HIS PLAN
GET TRULY VIOLENT *

- YOU DIDN'T BRAG TO HIM THAT
YOU WERE GOING TO SOLVE IT,

RIGHT?
- NO.

WE'RE GONNA BRING
THIS MADMAN TO JUSTICE.

* NOW IT'S ENDING,
Z IS COMING *

* BLOOD WILL SPILL

* SO PLEASE COME RUNNING

UH-OH.

- SHAWN, WHAT'S WRONG?

- HEY!

YEAH.
[laughs]

I'M JUST UP HERE

JAWING INTO
ME FUTURISTIC TALKING DEVICE.

AIN'T I?

[laughs]

ALL RIGHT THEN.

JULES,
DO YOU HAVE THAT SCRIPT?

- I NEED YOU TO FIND MY LINE
IN SCENE SIX

AND THEN PLEASE
GET THE HELL DOWN HERE.

- DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- BEN IS OUR KILLER.

I'M GONNA GO GET HIM,
BUT WE STILL NEED Z TO SHOW,

SO KEEP THE PRODUCTION GOING.

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT.

- [laughs]
WAGWAN,LONDON TOWN?

WHO WANTS SOME INSPECTING?

IRIE.
[laughs]

- THIS IS WORSE
THAN THE FIRST VERSION.

- A WAGWAN HERE?
- GO.

- CHARLOS, WHERE'S BEN?

- Z GRABBED HIM.
- WHAT?

- THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
I'M TRYING TO CALL A SHOW.

- [laughs]

LONDON TOWN.

* MIDNIGHT FALLS
UNDER THE EMPTY MOON *

* THIS TOWN IS SOON

* TO MEET ITS RECKONING

UH...
UH...

- * WE'RE GONNA PARTY
LIKE IT'S 1888 *

- PSST.

PSST!
[Gus tap dancing]

WHAT IN THE HELL
IS HAPPENING?

- ARE YOU EVEN SURPRISED
ANYMORE?

- YOU CAN'T BE HERE.
- SBPD!

- OH, OF COURSE.
THEY WENT THAT WAY.

- [panting]
Z, NO!

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THIS, MAN.

YOU HAVEN'T
DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

NOT YET.

- I'M SORRY, ZACH.

THAT CRITIC SCHECK
WAS GONNA BURY US.

THERE WAS A SCUFFLE,
AND HE WAS DEAD,

AND YOU WERE JUST--
YOU WERE THERE.

WE DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM.

- YOU STOLE MY LIFE
AND THEN YOU STOLE MY PLAY.

- ARMITAGE WANTED
TO RUN RIPPER!

I FOUND YOUR FIRST DRAFT.

I DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW BRILLIANT IT WAS THEN.

WE JUST--WE COULDN'T
HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT.

- DUDE, I DON'T THINK ANY OF
THIS STUFF IS HELPING YOUR CASE.

- WHAT ABOUT ELISA?

DID SHE DESERVE TO DIE?

- IT JUST GOT
SO OUT OF CONTROL.

- DON'T KILL HIM, Z!

- * YOU TOOK ALL

* WITHOUT CONSIDERATION

* WHEN YOU DIE

* I'LL BE THE ABERRATION

* YOU MADE ME TO BE

* BEFORE YOU STOLE

* MY LIFE

* BUT I'LL REMAIN

* WITH MY PAIN

[dramatic music]

*

[orchestral flourish]

[cheers and applause]

- DUDE, DUDE, OKAY, OKAY,
I STARTED OFF SHAKY,

BUT I GOT MY BEARINGS.

THERE'S NO WAY
THEY CAN'T HIRE ME.

- BUDDY, I WISH
I COULD HAVE SEEN YOU.

AS FOR THE PLAY,
IT'S PROBABLY A NO-GO.

- REALLY?
- YEAH.

THERE'S A FEW SMALL ISSUES.

- WHAT HAPPENED?

- AND WITH THAT, THE HERO
MADE THE WORLD GREAT AGAIN.

THE END.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU CAN BE HONEST.

IS IT THE GREATEST IDEA
FOR A MUSICAL

THAT YOU'VE EVER HEARD
OR WHAT?

- WELL,
IT'S VERY CREATIVE.

AND, WELL, LIFE RIGHTS
WILL BE INVOLVED,

AND SINCE IT'S MY LIFE,

I WILL THINK ABOUT IT.

- WE'RE GOING TO BROADWAY.

- P.S., I'M ATTACHED.

- I SAID I'D THINK ABOUT IT.

[laughs]
- RIGHT, RIGHT.

- I'M ACTUALLY GONNA BE TIED UP
FOR A LITTLE BIT.

VERY BUSY.

- SURE, YEAH.
- [laughs]

I DID MENTION
THAT I WAS ATTACHED TO IT.

- YOU TOTALLY DID.
I HEARD YOU.

- BUT YOU HAVE TO LOSE
ALL THAT STUFF YOU MADE UP.

I MEAN, THE HANGING SCENE?

THAT'S TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

- [laughs]

- AND NO ONE WOULD USE REAL
KEROSENE LAMPS IN A THEATER.

- MAN, HE DOESN'T KNOW.
HE'S CRAZY.

HE WASN'T EVEN THERE.
- HE WAS THERE, SHAWN.

- SHH.
IT'LL BE FINE.

- RIGHT.
THE HANGING SCENE STAYS.

- NO KIDDING.
I LIVED IT.

- WHAT IS THAT?

- IT'S YANG.

- YOU BROUGHT HER ASHES?

- GUS, OF COURSE,
IT'S HER LAST REQUEST.

THE QUESTION IS:

WHERE DO YOU THINK THAT
CHIEF DOCTOR PARKS HIS CAR?

[upbeat calypso music]

- * WARNING BELLS RING OUT

* CROSS THE OCEAN
DOWN TO MONTEGO BAY *

* DON'T WORRY,
ALL IS WELL *

* YOU ENGLISH JEZEBELS

* HELP IS ON THE WAY

*

* JAMAICAN,
JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN *

* STRAIGHT FROM KINGSTON
TO LONDON TOWN *

* WE ARE GON' PARTY
LIKE IT'S 1888 *

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
JAMAICAN *

* JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN

* GETTING IRIE
IN SCOTLAND YARD *

* YOU NEED A RASTAMAN
TO HELP THE MAGISTRATE *

* SEND ME I SAY

* ME NOT LIKE THIS NONSENSE

* ME HEARING PEOPLE SLASHED
FROM NECKLACE TO EAR *

* AND, RIPPER,
LEAVE THEM PROSTITUTES ALONE *

* JAMAICAN INSPECTOR MAN

* RIPPER, STOP RIPPING,
NOT GON' TELL YOU AGAIN *

[laughs]